The world would be a better place if everyone had a friend like Ginna. She’s kind, she’s wise, she’s generous, she’s humble. But perhaps my favorite thing about her is that she has this incredible gift of living in and ably navigating the real world, with all its brokenness and ugliness, while also faithfully looking toward the kingdom of God – and drawing the eyes of everyone around her to it, as well. I am easily a better friend, mom, wife, neighbor, and follower of Jesus because I get to walk alongside her.
Ginna has some powerful, wise words to share with us today. This is a lengthy post, and I hope it blesses you like it has me!
Just a note: if you haven’t read the intro post yet, start there!
Tell us about yourself and your family.
Hello, EFM readers! My name is Ginna and I live in Durham, NC, with my husband, two daughters, and dog. My oldest daughter is 7, in second grade, and my youngest is 6, in kindergarten. My husband is a software engineer and I run a bookkeeping company. You can find me @ginnaneel on Instagram. I know Emily through Articles Club and we have talked about this topic many times over delicious dinners!
Why are you choosing public school for your family?
The choice of where to send your children to school is really a pretty recent concept, since up until maybe 60 years ago, for most people, there was only one school choice based solely on your location. Now, there seem to be endless options! This can be helpful, especially if you need an alternative learning style for your child, but having so many options can also make the decision challenging.
As we were approaching the elementary years and having long (looong!) conversations about where to send our kids, we ultimately decided on public school.
I never felt called to homeschool, so we were left with the choices of private, charter, public, or moving to another district.
Historically, our county has a reputation for “bad schools.” In fact, just a mile away in Wake county, the same layout of our house would go for $50k+ more simply because it’s in a different school district.
When I asked around about the school we were assigned to, I heard a lot of, Oh I would never send my kid there… heard bad things… low-scoring school… kids from bad homes… etc. After pressing a little bit more, I learned quickly that the school was generally dismissed before taking a tour, trying it out, or hearing any first-hand experience from parents whose children had attended recently.
I finally got in touch with a friend of a friend who attended our church and sent their children to the school. She had nothing but amazing things to say about the teachers, the staff and her kids’ experience there.
Aside from a few personal reviews from other parents, the other reasons we chose our public school were:
1. The diversity of public school gives our children the opportunity to become friends with people who do not look like them or come from the same social-economic background.
2. Financially, it just made more sense to our budget.
3. We really wanted our children to be close to home and did not want to spend a lot of our time driving to/from school, like many of the charter schools would have required.
4. We knew that since they were not getting a Christian education at school, it would require my husband and I to be vigilant about instilling in our children a Christian worldview at home.
5. And finally, we believe that all children have the right to education, and feel that our educational system needs more believing Christians entering into it and not fleeing from it.
Now, this topic of school choice is a fiery one, and I totally get it! I still feel a lot of insecurity about our choice, even though it’s going well. I feel like each individual family needs to make their own decision on what is best for their child. I grew up going to a Christian private school and loved that experience! It was the coziest, loveliest school, and I have some of the best memories and friends from my time there. I also know so many friends who are homeschooling and doing it beautifully!
But ultimately, we decided to enter into public school and take it year by year, child by child.
What has been your experience with public school so far? Give us an overview.
We are starting our third year in public school and love it! My oldest entered in fall 2021 (bless those who sent their kindergarteners a year prior!) and last year my youngest and our former foster son were in the public pre-k program at the same school.
Academically – the reason they are there, after all! – it has been great. I am so impressed with all that they have learned so far. They both arrived at school after years of preschool and in some cases are more advanced academically than some of their peers, and the teachers do a great job of tailoring their work to their academic level so they are not bored.
We receive information from the teachers on a regular basis on their progress and behaviors. I have the personal cell phone for each of the teachers, receive updates and announcements through a private class app, and receive emails and phone calls for any county-wide or school announcements. Each quarter we have a check-in with the teacher on their progress, normally through phone, Zoom or in person.
Aside from academics, I think the key to a happy kid at school are good teachers and positive friendships, two things that are kind of outside of your control no matter the school. But so far we have had some amazing teachers and great peer friendships.
What has been one of your favorite parts about your school experience so far? Has anything been challenging?
The school community is great. Any time we’ve had a school-wide event, the staff, parents and students are all so friendly and I have gotten to know many of the other parents in our class through volunteering and chaperoning field trips. The cost is pretty sweet – you can’t beat free! And public schools are given a lot of state resources and programming that other schools are not afforded.
As for challenges, because it is a large county school, we have a lack of control over classroom or teacher choice, like you may in other schools. Because the system is large, sometimes making a change can be time consuming. For example, I tried to get my former foster care son occupational therapy at school, but due to the case load and some details needed by social services, it took longer than we’d like.
The only other challenge is that kids are assigned laptops to occasionally watch educational videos. I haven’t see any negative effects to them socially or academically, but it is certainly more screen time than they ever have at home (which is very minimal).
What do you wish other Christians knew about your life as a faithful family in public school? What might surprise people about your journey in public school so far?
Believe it or not, there are other Christians in public school! I think there is a Christian subculture misperception that public schools are full of evil, secular people, but that is not the case. I have met a handful of other parents and teachers who are Bible-believing, church-attending Christians.
Another surprise is that everyone seems to know my kids! I thought we would lose out on the coziness of a private school, but just the other day we had open house and so many teachers recognized my kids by name.
I was also delighted to find out how deeply these teachers love the kids. I’m sure that’s not the case for every teacher, but the ones we have go above and beyond to make sure their kids are happy, healthy, learning, and invested in their growth – not just academically, but also in their character. (Let’s push to increase teacher salaries, shall we? :))
What does faith formation look like for your family outside of or alongside school? How are you helping your kids to know and love God and their neighbors?
Because I know the kids are not getting a foundation of a Christian worldview in their school, it has really challenged me to step up our faith formation at home. This has been such a blessing!
We are not perfect at this, but our regular home life includes prayer before meals, reading Bible stories and books that share our faith, weekly church services, devotional journals, and they attend Awanas near our house for worship and bible memory. I try to reinforce that our faith is not just with our immediate family, but that there is a whole community of believers in our extended family, neighborhood, and city.
At the end of the day, though, I know more is caught than taught, and modeling the behavior I want them to emulate speaks more than any teaching I can do. This challenges me so much to model the values we believe to them – serving each other in our home, offering an apology and repentance when we fall short, and modeling what it looks like to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the least of us in our community through foster care.
What are your hopes for your kids and their education? What’s the best-case scenario?
My deepest desire is for my children to grow to love and serve God. My hope for their education is that they learn in a safe environment with teachers who inspire them, peers who bring them joy, and that they graduate high school as students with a strong foundation to enter adulthood with wisdom and discernment, ready and equipped to bring joy and healing to this broken world.
Do you plan to continue with public school indefinitely, do you plan to change course in the future, or do you hold it with open hands?
We are holding our kids and our decisions with open hands, trusting God will provide us with guidance along the way. As long as we feel like our kids are learning and safe, we will stay the course.
Anything else to add?
I want to encourage those who are in the middle of their decision-making to ask yourself whether you are making a decision out of prayer or out of fear.
The American Christian subculture has a strong bias against public school in favor of home school, private school, or some moderation between the two. If you are a Christian parent, then you no doubt have seen it, heard it, and probably believe it. (I certainly did!) The messaging is strongly encouraging parents to protect your child from the secular world’s evils and give your children a secured environment that not only teaches them academically, but also the foundation of God’s truth.
But this narrative, I believe, is actually bad theology on two fronts.
First, by this logic, we are telling ourselves and teaching our children that God is only God for the rich. Because to have a choice at all in education is a great privilege: only the privileged in time can have one parent home to homeschool, and only the privileged in money can pay to send their child to private school. And even though many middle class parents could probably decrease their lifestyle to afford such privileges, there are so many lower-income families working minimum-wage jobs who simply cannot, nor will ever, have any choice for education except public.
Secondly, if we think that in order to be a believing, God-fearing adult you must grow up in a fully-sheltered Christian environment, that is limiting God’s power. We are called to be good stewards in raising our children, but ultimately salvation belongs to the Lord.
So my encouragement to you, as believers in a world full of many messages, is to pray and use the Holy Spirit to be your guiding light when you make this decision, not what the latest podcast or Christian influencer is sharing. You are the very best parent for your child and are equipped with all you need. I switched preschools for my oldest a few years ago because I just had a feeling that I should. It didn’t really make a lot of sense! But I am glad that I went with my intuition and felt a great peace with that switch.
I hope this has been helpful! Please take my experience as one of very many out there. As a private school graduate (who adored the whole experience, truly), a friend to so many fabulous homeschooling moms, a neighbor to many charter school attendees, and a fellow public school parent in the trenches at the PTA meetings, I see you all and your hard work and love for your children. I pray that God will give each of us wisdom and strength as we parent this next generation. And thank you, Emily, for the chance to share my experience!
Ginna, you are a gift to me and to many! Thank you for taking the time to share your family and your thoughts with us – it truly means so much.
Friends, please feel free to respond to anything Ginna mentioned in your usual kind and thoughtful way. Grateful for you! Next week will be our final post in this series as I share my thoughts to wrap things up.
Invariably, the words I write at the top of my PowerSheets each month are some variation on “This time is yours to enjoy.”
This, apparently, is the reminder I need month after month – not a reminder to work harder or do more, but a gentle (yet insistent) remix of my grandmother’s “I just tried to enjoy them.” In the swirl of work, and distractions, and travel, and daily responsibilities, and evenings, and mornings, and after-school afternoons, it is the call that most resonates with me: to look around. To notice. To delight. To enjoy the imperfect abundance all around me, and to reflect gratitude to the One from whom all blessings flow.
I am extending that offering to you this month, too.
On my calendar: — Trick or treating in a family Halloween costume once again, though this year’s theme is child-directed and looks to be less creative than past years… — Our annual fall mountains trip! We are headed to Boone. Very excited by our lineup of hikes and restaurants and also by the fact that it will be in the 30’s when we wake up some days (!). — Two back-to-back camping trips – one with our small group from church and the other, our rescheduled outing with the Rays due to torrential downpour.
What I’m loving right now: — 2024 PowerSheets are available now! I went with the Jade cover and it is even more beautiful in person. Join me! :) — These little penguin ice packs are perfect for sliding into lunchboxes or anywhere you need something slim! — Poor Bishop Hooper is a new-to-me duos that sets the Psalms to music. I think this playlist is the perfect background for cooking or tidying up the house in the evening.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
New segment alert! I thought it could be fun to highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Maybe this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in September: — The Vanderbeekers to the Rescue | June and I continue our parallel reading of this series :) Just the sweetest! — The Common Rule | A friend and I are leading a book study of this at church, so I’m re-reading it one chapter a time. It’s been great, and I’m experimenting much more with the habits than I did when I read it on my own! — Golden Son | The middle book in the Red Rising trilogy, which I’m re-reading after a few years. Though my YA author friend calls this the best dystopian fiction he’s ever read (and I can see why), I also remember why I never went on to read the third book last time: the ending is crushing. Going to push through and complete the trilogy this time, though!
My reading list for 2023!I’m still 19 / 24 so far for the year, but I feel confident I’ll complete the list over the next three months! :)
Revisiting my September goals: Work out 3 hours each week (I did not quite hit this, but I made lots of progress! I also need to figure out a better way to track this… going to experiment with using my monthly planner in the month ahead.) Tackle the garage (YES! Major win!See a little reflection on this project here.) Film Sheptember Make our 2015-2019 photo album (Progress! I laid out 2015…) Write and design the Articles Club guide (Moving to October!) Book a fall family photo session (Booked + completed!) Share the first half of the new blog series (Yes! Thank you for all your kind, thoughtful participation here – it’s been a joy!)
October goals: — Write and design the Articles Club guide — Edit Sheptember, Volume 5 — Host the chocolate chip party — Tackle Annie’s closet — Organize the gift storage (There’s a particular spot in our attic where I toss things throughout the year as I buy gift or stocking items on travels, at consignment sales, etc. It’s time to go through it so I know what I’m working with as December approaches!) — Send care packages to our college babysitters — Finish our 2015-2019 photo album — Execute an extra-special setting for the 8th anniversary of Articles Club
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
Last quarter of 2023, here we go! Feel free to comment on anything I’ve mentioned here or anything else on your mind!
Summer 2023 kept us on our toes, and so though I haven’t written one of these posts each year, it felt like a worthwhile effort this year! Capturing the little pleasures and particulars to look back on is a lovely way to wrap up the season. Here’s some of what we’ll remember from summer 2023…
Listening:The Night Train kept us going on many long road trips! The kids seriously loved this podcast-that-feels-like-an-audio-book, and with 20+ episodes at 30-ish minutes each, it kept us humming along for quite some time. The synopsis: It’s 1879! Edith and Paul Mallard climb aboard the Night Train as it races the Midnight Express across America. But as accidents delay their journey, a mysterious plot of sabotage begins to emerge. Will Edith and Paul Mallard solve the mystery of the Night Train? Or is their journey doomed to disaster?
Perfecting: I do believe we’ve gotten the North Carolina coast long weekend trip down to a science. Our three-day June stay in Beaufort was pretty near perfect (and by perfect, I mean the young family version of perfect, which for this particular trip included a very sandy (and now infamous) meltdown). We paddle boarded, we swam, we visited a barrier island and lighthouse, we ate yummy food, and we enjoyed sensational weather.
Moving: June officially shifted her clothes, pajamas, and shower stuff to the second floor, and though this is a natural and normal progression, it also felt a bit like we were shipping her off to college after having one hub for our family for so long. But it’s been sweet to see her enjoy her own space up there!
Visiting: Our niece and nephew came to stay for the week and we had what we hope will be the first of many cousin camps! From learning to ride a bike sans training wheels to cabin inspections and the Best Friends Snack Shack, it was a full but very fun week.
Wearing: I replaced my fauxm Birks, which were showing their age, with this pair from Reef. They are cuter than though not quiiiiiite as comfortable as the Birks.
Enjoying: A tiny little moment from our trip to Maine: June needed to practice piano, so while the two youngers were resting or napping each afternoon, the three of us would walk down to the community building and she’d play on the baby grand while we’d play ping pong across the room. Just a sweet little slice with our big girl :)
Learning: We navigated the ins and outs of neighborhood swim team life! I’m proud to say we did it our way (which mainly meant going to practice when it suited our family’s schedule), and found it to be quite fun. June’s favorite part was without a doubt learning every line dance known to seven-year-old-kind, and John’s was writing up his appointment notes poolside most evenings.
Shep’s swimming, too, improved leaps and bounds. With a few lessons at the beginning of summer, he went from screeching when splashed to diving underwater and swimming like a fish, no floatie in sight.
Itching: Another not-so-sweet memory from the island that must be mentioned for posterity: we all got a rash from the mysterious browntail moth for the first time. An invasive species found only on the coast of Maine and Cape Cod, its caterpillars’ hairs (even airborne!) can cause an itchy rash on skin. Annie had it something awful, but thankfully it seemed to look much worse than it felt.
Attending: The book swap! Well, hosting, I suppose, but it was certainly a highlight, and the coziest morning with good friends chatting good books.
Watching: It was a fun summer for movies! John and I saw Mission Impossible on a date night and I saw the Barbie movie with some Articles Club friends.
Reading: The road trip saga The Lincoln Highway felt like an especially summery read, and is definitely in my top five for the year thus far. June and I have also really loved reading several installments of The Vanderbeekers and The Penderwicks series either together or in parallel.
…And truly, so much more: our first trip to John’s parents’ new home, biking the full American Tobacco Trail with a friend on a blue-sky day, going into the harbor on the boat for fireworks on the Fourth, walking the monuments in DC, our train trip to Greensboro, an afternoon on the lake with friends… we’re looking toward fall, but taking many sweet memories from summer with us.
What will you remember from summer 2023? I’d love to hear!
While it would be a delight to completely finish each monthly goal, it’s not always possible. Some goals I don’t even touch, while for others, I make progress, but don’t quite close the loop. Such was the case with an item from my July goals: tackling the master closet. I wrote in my August goal update that John and I made great progress but weren’t quite done, and though I didn’t officially list it as an August goal, I’m thrilled to say that this month we went through every shoe, hanging item of clothing, shelf, and drawer in our closet and bedroom. We kept only what we love and made sure it all has a neat and organized home (with the help of two of these to corral our drawers). What a sense of accomplishment!!
One other thing to mention here at the top: behind the scenes, I am preparing a new series for September and October. In the last two years, we’ve tackled blogging and working part-time as a mom when the leaves start to change – it seems fall brings with it the energy to dive into some meatier topics! This next topic is one I feel passionately about discussing and also that I know needs to be addressed with great care – because when it is talked about online, it’s generally in the most tribal and discouraging way. As I’ve been prepping, I have been continually thankful that you trust me to lead conversations like this. I do not take it for granted.
Something fun: in this series you will be hearing not just from me, but from a few trusted, real-life friends, as well. For those who were around for the popular Marvelous Mama series of a few years back, I hope this gets you excited :)
Because it’s always interesting and helpful to see your guesses, feel free to take a stab in the comments as to what our fall topic is this year! I hope to publish the first post on Tuesday.
This is not a glamorous picture, but I snapped it because it’s an accurate representation of what my quick + potent planning session looks like every Sunday. PowerSheets with monthly calendar, weekly notepad, laptop, blog planning clipboard, lots of markers :)
On my calendar: — Our anniversary trip to Charleston! It will be much shorter and simpler than last year’s ten-year celebration in Mexico, but we are SO looking forward to it. — Our annual camping trip with the Rays! We are headed to a lakeside campsite in Virginia and they are bringing their boat! — The first day of fall! We’ll bake apple cider scones for our family and June’s teachers, a tradition we started seven years ago.
What I’m loving right now: — Grab your tissues – “At the Table” by Josh Garrels is a beautiful tearjerker that will get you right in the feels if you’re a parent. Hurts so good. — This podcast episode is basically the story of my life. Like everything from Morgan Housel, it packs a punch in an efficient package – here, in less than 15 minutes. — June requested more daffodils and tulips in our yard, so I ordered this mix of butterfly daffodils and this mix of tulips. I love that they ship at the right time for planting in your garden zone!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
New segment alert! I thought it could be fun to highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Maybe this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in August: — As You Wish | Even though I would classify myself as just a fan (and not a super-fan) of The Princess Bride, this book was a delight! Written by the author who played Wesley, it includes tons of behind-the-scenes details from the making of the movie as well as commentary from the all-star cast. A fun summer read! — Raising Emotionally Strong Boys | I liked but did not love this book. While I adore David and Sissy, it didn’t feel like this book pulled out much more than they talk about in the RB&G podcast. — Red Rising | I first read this book in 2014, then again in 2017, but when my sister was reading it for the first time on vacation, I couldn’t resist pulling it back out. Described as a cross between The Hunger Games and Ender’s Game, it’s also wholly its own distinct world that will grip you from the start. — The Vanderbeekers and the Hidden Garden | June and I continue our parallel reading of this series :) Just the sweetest!
My reading list for 2023!I’m 19 / 24 so far for the year, which is officially more than I’ve ever completed in one of these challenges!!
Revisiting my August goals: Make plans for our anniversary trip to Charleston (We sadly didn’t get a reservation for FIG, but are otherwise set.) Clean out the art basket and clean off the top of my white dresser (Done! Just in time to start accumulating with the new school year :)) Buy bins for each kids’ mementos and artwork and sort items from the current joint box into them (Done! More details here.) Tackle the pantry Edit June in June, Volume 8
September goals: — Work out 3 hours each week (I just listened to this podcast episode and feel motivated to experiment this month… we’ll see how it goes!) — Tackle the garage — Film Sheptember — Make our 2015-2019 photo album — Write and design the Articles Club guide — Book a fall family photo session — Share the first half of the new blog series
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
Happy almost-fall, friends! Feel free to comment on the new series topic or anything else on your mind!
