Hello, friends! This last month has held multitudes. We spent the first half packing up our first home and the second half settling into our new home. We weathered the news of the original buyers backing out – and went under contract with new buyers – all while the movers shuttled our belongings between houses (a wild day). We’ve now met every neighbor on our cul-de-sac. We have loved walking to school most days. I have thoroughly enjoyed the process of purging, tossing on-the-fence items with glee and freedom. Our maple out the front windows has been ablaze and an abundance of squirrels are frolicking in the backyard with abandon.
Megan McArdle once wrote about how young adults setting off on their own subconsciously expect to start at their parents’ standard of living – which is, of course, the standard their parents ascended to over a lifetime, and likely far from where they started as young adults. They want to shop at the same stores, eat the same foods, take the same vacations, and live in the same sort of house with the same sort of furnishings. When their budget or circumstances don’t allow them to continue in “the style to which they’ve become accustomed,” they can feel cheated.
John and I had (and have) plenty of failings, but this was not one. I’ve written before about how we mostly reveled in our scrappy phase, that time of our lives when cardboard boxes were our coffee tables and splitting a Chipotle burrito was a grand night out.
I’ve been thinking about this idea a lot lately, wondering about its relevance to my current predicament. I find myself impatient that our home does not feel like us, that it does not feel “finished.” Which, when I write it out, seems absolutely ridiculous. Of course it doesn’t feel like us! Of course it isn’t finished! We’ve lived here for three weeks!!
I suppose I didn’t feel this way when we moved into our first home because we were moving from an apartment and there was no comparison – the home was an obvious upgrade. Updates didn’t feel urgent, which was good since our budget required making changes slowly. Over 12 years, though, little by little, we built our home into a place that met our needs and suited our tastes.
And now that home, so lovingly tended over time, stands in direct comparison to this one — which, while objectively nice, mostly does not feel like us. And so there is a desire to make it that way, and fast, to get back to what we had while also moving forward. I want the backsplash gone, the light fixtures switched out, the rugs in place, the built-ins built — all the things we worked so hard for in our past home, transposed to this one.
These are not necessarily bad desires. It is okay to want a home that reflects my tastes and meets my family’s needs and wants. Our life and finances look very different than they did 12 years ago, and moving quickly in this sweet and fleeting season of middle childhood can be wise. But when these desires stop me from appreciating what is in front of me, or drive me to move faster than my family is ready for, they sour the good that’s here now.
So that’s where I am – wanting our new home to feel like home, and reminding myself that transformation won’t happen overnight. And through it all, just trying to unpack the rest of the boxes :)
Big kids working hard to put together new shelves for the attic, in the loft! They were so proud to do it all by themselves!
One other little update, mostly for my memories but also hopefully as an encouragement: I did take my solo trip to New England, and it was wonderful! I spent almost no time doing any of the touristy things I envisioned (walking my favorite road, going out for breakfast, shopping in downtown) and instead spent basically the entire Saturday in conversation: five hours at the baby shower and three hours at dinner with my beloved high school teacher-turned mentor and friend. I am incredibly grateful for that time with those women. Let this be an encouragement to take the flight, make the time, be there in person. And thank you, Lord, for allowing me to do so!
Walking to dinner in Mystic, CT
On my calendar: — A special date night! We’re taking a mini road trip to Winston-Salem to see one of our beloved babysitters in her senior play at UNC School of the Arts and hopefully grabbing dinner with friends beforehand. — Meeting up with the cousins at the zoo on a teacher work day. It is supposed to be frigid – fingers crossed the lemurs brave the cold and venture outside! — A trip to the mountains for Thanksgiving with my family. Menu texts are currently flying fast and furious.
What I’m loving right now: — With the dark coming on earlier and fall extracurriculars ending, the kids have had a renewed interest in board games. Sushi Go Party, Monopoly Deal, Zombie Kidz, and chess (this is how they learned) are in the nightly post-dinner rotation. — Having known Lara Casey and Katelyn James up close for over a decade (almost 20 years for Lara!), I can tell you that they are both as genuine and faithful as they come. This conversation between them about business and faith was honest, hopeful, and so good that I stopped it halfway through to tell John we needed to listen to it together. — You get a mini tree in your room starting the Christmas you’re four, which means Annie’s finally eligible! I just checked and our very favorite flocked 4-footer is back in stock. We now own five of these – two flanking our front door and one in each child’s room. More Christmas decor from our actual home rounded up here! — Are you sleeping on ThredUp? Don’t do it! My trick is to set alerts for just a few favorite, expensive brands (for me, Faherty and Alice Walk) in my sizes so I don’t have to spend time looking. I just bought a perfectly fall dress for 1/3 of the retail price and I’m always on the hunt for more of my very favorite striped tees.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My Lulie Wallace ESV New Testament Journaling Bible. Our next sermon series is on Luke! — The new eucalyptus + rosemary cleaning spray I’ve been using. Kind of reminiscent of the Thymes Fraser Fir candle but non-Christmas-y enough for year-round use. — The Eby Relief bra. I’m tickled so many of you are trying one of these! I hope you love them as much as I have! — The tiniest white noise machine – perfect for traveling. — The Yoto card case. We now have two: one for cards geared to younger ears, and one for longer chapter books.
What I read in September: — American Wife | Though I’m about 20 years behind in reading this book (it released in 2009), I’m considering it better late than never! Alice, the main character, is a thinly-veiled Laura Bush, but Curtis Sittenfeld paints a compassionate picture of a woman who is fully her own — and easy to fall in love with. Spanning over a lifetime, American Wife reads more like a marriage portrait than anything else. My one complaint: instead of being divided into chapters, it’s split into just four hard-to-stop-turning-the-pages sections. That made for some late nights :) — The Love Haters | I’m not sure I’m cut out for romances, pals! This one was clean, funny, and had likable characters (including a Coast Guard rescue swimmer, close to my heart!). Still, it just felt like… it didn’t matter? I suppose I’d rather read something a little more substantive — something that leaves me in awe of its prose or helps me see something new about the world — in the limited time I have to read. I know I’m in the minority, here, though!
Revisiting my October goals: Gather our family Halloween costumes (Done! We went with a Star Wars theme – Princess Leia, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Rey, and R2D2 :)) Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print Finish editing June in June (Done, finally!!) Edit Sheptember Make Halloween ghosts with Shep (This was highly overambitious with all the move to-dos – we only got our Halloween box out three days before the holiday!) Make a plan for my solo weekend in New England Choose a Christmas recital song and begin to practice Send care packages to our college gals Choose and order our Christmas cards (Designed the photo card, just need to finish the newsletter.)
November goals: — Lovingly hand off our first home well, equipping the new owner as I’d want to be equipped — Finalize plans for June’s tenth birthday (in January) — Begin painting the kids’ 2025 book ornaments! — Buy window candles, a Christmas tradition I’m so delighted our new home allows us to partake in — Choose and order sconces for two spots in our home — Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print — Edit Sheptember — Practice my Christmas recital song — Send care packages to our college gals — Finish designing, order, and send our Christmas cards
I know I have a ton of carry-over goals from October to November, but with the worst of the unpacking behind me, I’m feeling hopeful I’ll be able to make significant progress as we close out the year!
Friends, I would love to hear: Is there a project or goal that you’re really hoping to finish by the end of 2025? Personally, I’m hoping to wrap up most goals by the end of the month so I can focus on Advent and Christmas in December. Godspeed to us all and I would love to hear about what you have planned in the comments! xo
The other day John and I were talking about what we’ll miss most, physically, about this home, our first home, and my answer was our front porch.
It’s unusually deep, perched well above street level and tucked behind a mature tree. Shady and private enough to work from on even the hottest summer days, it also played host to dinner parties, friend hangs, and tables set for Articles Club. On its sturdy boards we carved pumpkins, played in the sand box, read chapter books aloud, ate lunch, set up the chess board, spit cherry pits over the railing, waited on siblings to return from play dates and grandparents to arrive from the airport. The string lights were magic; the wreaths hanging on the gates each December, a source of deep personal satisfaction. And I can still feel exactly what it was like to sit cross-legged under the spinning fan, cooing at baby June as she learned to roll on a soft blanket. We’d head out there after work and daycare and just chat — for an hour, easy.
That porch was an aerie, a world unto itself in the most ordinary of places. While the glorious view below will not always be ours, the sweetness will be.
On my calendar: — Seeing The Sound of Music with June! After a few false starts for her “experiential” 2024 Christmas gift, this is where we landed. We are both so excited for a night at the theater together. — Our fall family mountain trip, this year to Boone. We’ve had more trips than usual to WNC in the last few months but you won’t catch me complaining. These mountain weekends are always some of the sweetest of the year for our family. — A weekend in New England! I’m flying to a dear friend’s baby shower and for the first time in a very, very long time (maybe since before having kids?), I will be traveling solo to Connecticut. I’ll be staying at my parents’ home but even they won’t be there, as they are traveling, too! Needless to say my brain is working overtime as to how I should enjoy this unique opportunity…
What I’m loving right now: — John and I recently finished the second (and, presumably) final season of Andor and loved it. You do not have to be a Star Wars fan to enjoy it, though it helps if you love a political thriller. The world-building (Chandrila!) is particularly incredible. — Freya India’s work always makes me want to highlight, forward, shout YES at my laptop in an empty room, and this recent piece is no exception. “Marketing your memories also desecrates them. You hand over your hope, your hurt, your life to be consumed, reducing it to reality TV. Your precious memories are my mindless entertainment. Your trauma becomes my background noise. Your life-shattering divorce my slop. Your children my characters; your pain my distraction; your feelings my filler episodes. I will swipe past your birth video when I get bored. I will downvote your divorce if it isn’t entertaining enough. Your life is what I clean my kitchen to, what I kill time with. And if you fail to entertain me, fine, I will scroll for another life to consume.” — I am not a particularly good auditory learner (raising my hand as a consummate note taker in college!). After searching for a sermon solution, I chose this ESV study Bible to bring to and from church. While it’s only the New Testament, I love having generous amounts of space to jot notes. (And the Lulie Wallace cover doesn’t hurt!)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My clean perfume. I generally only wear it for date night and other special events; spritzing it on is an anticipatory mood booster. (I gathered my other daily skincare and clean beauty faves recently!) — My clean deodorant! Bonus points for the prettiest metal holder. — The new eucalyptus + rosemary cleaning spray I’ve been using. Kind of reminiscent of the Thymes Fraser Fir candle but non-Christmas-y enough for year-round use. — The Eby Relief bra. I’m tickled so many of you are trying one of these! I hope you love them as much as I have! — The tiniest white noise machine – perfect for traveling.
What I read in September: — 14 Talks by Age 14 | I picked this one up on a whim after appreciating a quote from the author in an article. In each chapter, she discusses things to consider, conversation killers, and sample dialogues for topics like independence, changing friendships, fairness, criticism, hard work, money, and reputations. While I reject some of her assumptions about tweens/teens and family life, I do concede that she has more experience than me to draw on and found much of the book insightful and eye-opening. — The Day the World Came to Town | I purposefully timed my reading of this to coincide with the anniversary of 9/11. I did not anticipate it coinciding with a jarring new low in our country’s polarization and political violence. It was a tough backdrop to such a hopeful and guileless book, animated as it is by the common-sense kindness of an average town. I am glad I read it. I wish it felt more recognizable today. — Peace Like a River | Absolute perfection. The writing – there is hardly a throwaway sentence in the book. The characters – so real, so sympathetic, so finely-drawn. If you have not yet read this book, please do so immediately. Easily one of my top-five favorite novels of all time.
Revisiting my September goals: Prepare our home to go on the market Pack and transport everything we don’t want in our home for listing/showings Book help and figure out details for the first few tasks we want done in the new home (Some of them, yes!) Edit June in June (Not quite done but I did make progress! About halfway there!) Film Sheptember Make apple cider scones for the first day of fall Sort and tag for the consignment sale Experiment with drafting Substack Notes for the week, each week, in advance
October goals: — Gather our family Halloween costumes (2 / 5 so far) — Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print — Finish editing June in June — Edit Sheptember — Make Halloween ghosts with Shep (kind of like this!) — Make a plan for my solo weekend in New England — Choose a Christmas recital song and begin to practice — Send care packages to our college gals — Choose and order our Christmas cards (I want to get these off early because of the move!)
Friends, I would love to hear: If you had a solo weekend in one of your favorite and very familiar places, what would you do? Take yourself out to a meal? Go for a hike? Read a book? See a friend? Shop? (I hope to do all of the above, ha!) Let’s have some fun planning a dreamy solo getaway in the comments.
Big update over here, friends: we are under contract to buy a new house.
!!!
This came to pass in a quite unusual and stressful manner, because the house went on the market while we were in Maine. (Our realtor, to boot, was also on vacation.) We submitted our offer on Sunday night, learned there were multiple offers and submitted a new offer (and then another one) on Monday, and finally found out our offer was accepted on Monday night. We came home on Wednesday night and saw the house for the first time on Thursday night.
While we hadn’t stepped foot inside, we were familiar with the house – it is in our same neighborhood, right around the corner from one of Shep’s buddies, and is one we had had our eye on for over a year. It checks a lot of our boxes – cul-de-sac location, flat driveway, separate dining room, bigger backyard, space for an office, even the possibility of a mudroom – and we are super grateful.
That does not mean that the last few weeks have been without challenges. I wish I could say we’ve been uniformly blissful and brave, but alas I am a person who deeply dislikes change. In addition to staying on top of the piles of paperwork required to buy and sell a home – as well as fixing things up around our current home, coordinating completion of the rest of the punch list, streamlining our belongings and beginning to pack what remains – I’ve been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I am excited, of course, and grateful, but also fearful of leaving the security of our current corner of the neighborhood and all the good we have here, fearful of something “better” coming on the market in the future, and fearful of the unknown ahead.
However. I am purposefully trying to step off the roller coaster of emotion and take up a new posture, embodied by one of my favorite mantras: make a decision, and then make it the right one. It is somewhat embarrassing to admit that I am having to gear myself up to feel anything but grateful for such a blessing, but here we are.
We close on the new home and list our current home in early October, so this month will be full of preparation. Here’s what else is ahead:
A view from our island!
On my calendar: — A Durham Bulls game! We try to go at least once a year and are all hoping this absolutely delectable weather we’ve been having holds until our game. — Camping with the Rays! Our annual camping trip is 12? 13? years strong at this point – something we look forward to every year. And now with 8 kids! — An anniversary weekend away. With thanks to my parents for staying with our kids, John and I are incredibly excited to have some time together in the mountains of NC to celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.
What I’m loving right now: — When my Blueland cleaning spray bit the bullet (again – their nozzles are notoriously finicky) I gave up and chose a random Method spray from the store. I’m in love. It smells a bit like the Thymes Frasier Fir candle, but not quite as Christmas-y? Wiping down the dinner table and chairs is one of my least favorite household tasks; leaving this scent in my wake makes it positively pleasant. — Another lucky grab from the store: Wild refillable deodorant. After my beloved Toms deodorant was discontinued, I mooched off of John’s Native deodorant for a bit, but it never worked well for me. The Wild Honey + Cactus scent, on the other hand, is a revelation – it works SO well. I think natural deodorant tends to be highly personal, so take this recommendation with a grain of salt – but it might be worth a try! I also love that it’s refillable and that the (cute) holder is metal. — In a bid to switch up my routine and sharpen my focus, I’ve been working from the library on my TCF mornings. I drive over in silence, drafting in my head, then post up in one of the armchairs by the window, scoot in the little laptop table, and happily tap away for a few hours. Bonus: it’s easy to scoop up any books we have on hold!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— These slim ice packs that fit perfectly in a lunch box and keep things cool until lunch time — John’s favorite work button-down shirts and beachy sweatshirt — The underbed boxes we use to store kid memorabilia and memories — John’s standing desk (it’s as attractive as one can be, but I’ll still be happy to have it out of our bedroom in the new house!)
What I read in August: — I Cheerfully Refuse | This was a read that lingered from July to August, so I’m back with my final review. And it is: eh. The dystopian future setting was more depressing than the hopeful I was promised on the book jacket, and that’s not really what I’m looking for right now. I did finish it, but wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. — The Self-Driven Child | I first read this in the weeks after Annie was born and loved it. I also noted at the time that it was a book I’d want to return to when my kids were a little older. Four years later, here I am! It holds up, and I gleaned even more wisdom and practical tips this time around – and I still consider it one of the most underrated parenting books out there. — Run | I almost didn’t review this one, but since it’s on my reading list I’ll go ahead. In short, I would say: not for me. Thrillers are not usually my genre, but add in a rage apocalypse and a good amount of gore and I was left wishing I hadn’t included it on my list. Yes, it kept my interest and yes, I was grateful for the plot resolution at the end, but I also closed the book thinking, I’m not really glad I read that, you know?
Revisiting my August goals: Clean out pantry Edit June in June (I hate that this got bumped again! I really try to have the last one edited before we start filming for the next one!) Make a watercolor painting en plein air while I’m in Maine Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print Finalize new chore charts for the new school year Schedule and enjoy back-to-school shopping dates with the two bigs Complete Shep’s baby book
It’s worth noting that my priorities shifted in early August, once we knew we would be buying and selling a house!
September goals: — Prepare our home to go on the market — Pack and transport everything we don’t want in our home for listing/showings — Book help and figure out details for the first few tasks we want done in the new home (painting, backsplash, light fixtures, etc.) — Edit June in June — Film Sheptember — Make apple cider scones for the first day of fall — Sort and tag for the consignment sale — Experiment with drafting Substack Notes for the week, each week, in advance
Friends, help! The last time we moved was 12 years ago, and it was from an apartment to a first home. We had no kids and far fewer belongings, plus we weren’t trying to sell a home at the same time! Please give me all your tips – anything you did (or wished you did!) that made buying, selling, or moving easier. I’m all ears – thank you in advance!
June is home from camp, we have sunny + cool northern travels to look forward to, we’re still enjoying summer and yet have also eased into back-to-school prep — in short, I’m feeling good. I hope August finds you in a contented place, as well!
If you, too, are straddling seasons, I pulled up a few posts that might be of help for us both:
On my calendar: — Our annual trip to Maine! This year, we’re going further north to Acadia for part of the time and traveling with friends. I’m looking forward to experiencing something new on this very-familiar (and very-beloved) trip. — Shep and Annie’s joint birthday adventure. We’re once again taking the train ride to Greensboro’s children’s museum with a few friends and they are so excited. — The first day of school! Fourth and first grade for June and Shep and a new Montessori preschool for Annie.
What I’m loving right now: — Good news on the concealer front: since Counter no longer carries (at least for now) my beloved formulation, I ventured to Sephora to find a replacement. A kind gal led me to Kosa’s clean brightening concealer and I’ve been very happy with shade 2.3N. (I rounded up all my current clean beauty favorites here if you’re in the market! These are the products I use daily, except for the perfume which is for special occasions :)) — My dear friend Nancy’s podcast has been turned into an ice cream flavor! Triangle locals, I think her creation (that’s it up at the top) goes back into the vault now that July is over, but it’s always a good time to pay a visit to Two Roosters. — Tricia asked about my watercolor supplies on my last goals post and I’m happy to share! I bought this pad of watercolor paper postcards at a local art shop and it’s made it so easy to paint petite scenes (and then send them to loved ones!). This small paint set is portable and vibrant and this is the online class I took – I loved that it focused on landscapes and it was quite helpful for a beginner like me.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My first two items ever from Lululemon, this tennis skirt and this top in the color lavender frost. I literally wore this combo to all six swim meets this summer after convincing myself that no one else was thinking about my outfits as much as I was :) The mesh and volume of the skirt is really unique and fun, and the top is so lightweight – perfect for summer humidity. — These slim ice packs, perfect for packed lunches. Maybe you all have started your back-to-school shopping, too? — The underbed boxes we use to store our kids’ artwork and school memorabilia. More about that system here! — John’s favorite button-down shirt, so soft and resistant to wrinkles. He tries to wear exclusively this style to work (and they’re 50% off as of this writing!!).
What I read in July: — I Cheerfully Refuse | Reading was slower last month as I prioritized my morning walks – and thus an earlier bedtime. Sadly, I can’t say yet whether I recommend the one book I’m working through. I want to love it – I adorethe other book I’ve read by this author – but so far I’m finding the dystopian future setting more depressing than the hopeful I was promised on the book jacket. I’m about halfway through and still trying to decide if I’m going to DNF and just re-read Peace Like a River. I’ll report back in September :)
Revisiting my July goals: Visit a Maine gallery and buy an original piece of artwork Tweak the TCF course outline (No progress whatsoever.) Review the TCF course outline with John (And thus no progress whatsoever.) Clean out pantry Complete June’s baby book Plan Annie + Shep’s joint birthday excursion Prep for and enjoy our Maine/Acadia trip Edit June in June
August goals: — Clean out pantry — Edit June in June — Make a watercolor painting en plein air while I’m in Maine — Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print — Finalize new chore charts for the new school year — Schedule and enjoy back-to-school shopping dates with the two bigs — June’s, paired with afternoon tea as we’ve done for the last few years and Shep’s, with breakfast at IHOP (his request!) — Complete Shep’s baby book
To close out, I’m in the market for a new pair of sneakers and would love your recommendations! I’d like something fairly neutral (I think?) that I can wear with dresses and for walking around cities — something low-profile and comfy. Any favorites to pass along? Feel free to comment with anything else on your mind, too :)
