I drafted this post late in September, a few days before Hurricane Helene hit Western North Carolina. Under what I was looking forward to I had listed our annual fall mountains trip, which was scheduled for Lake Lure. “These trips have been some of the sweetest times together each year for our family,” I wrote.
As best we can tell, the town of Chimney Rock, where we planned to stay, is almost completely washed away. The Flower Bridge, which we planned to visit, is washed away. The Lake Lure Dam has so far held, but only just so. Hundreds of roads are closed. We will not be traveling to WNC in a few weeks, and we are devastated by the loss of life, property, and beautiful landmarks in our beloved mountains.
This week has been a flurry of Spirit-empowered prayer, text messages between friends, Venmos sent to friends of friends, notes compared, networks activated, giving opportunities shared, diapers and water and socks and trash bags loaded in trucks headed west. John and I have also donated to Samaritan’s Purse, whose headquarters is smack dab in the middle of the disaster, and the Red Cross.
We will continue to pray and give, to gather and send. And we will continue to earnestly tend to the small details of our lives, loving our people by what we say and what we do. May all my NC neighbors have that opportunity again soon.
On my calendar: — Seeing the Lazy Genius at Quail Ridge! A quorum of Articles Club will be in attendance for her book launch and we are excited. — The NC State Fair! I promised the big kids we could ride on the giant swings this year :) — Lara and Ari’s vow renewal! Grateful to get to celebrate their love with friends from all over.
What I’m loving right now: — 2025 PowerSheets are available now! I went with the Aloe cover and it is even more beautiful in person. Join me! — E. Frances Paper Little Notes, but also the ingenuity of Articles Club. One of us was thinking of ordering these cute little card packs, but instead of placing an individual order she opened it up to the rest of us. We each picked our favorite design (only paying shipping once!) and then once they arrived she mixed and matched to give us each a set of 85, but with 11 patterns! It’s been so fun to use them for lunchbox notes, gift tags, and place cards. — My Numi undershirt, which I just pulled out in anticipation of cooler weather. I have the crop and it is so helpful for wearing under sweaters so that you don’t have to wash them each wear! I bought mine on Black Friday last year, so may be worth putting on your BFCM list.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
Last month on The Connected Family: — Our 10 favorite family movies (so far) | A survey of the past three years as we start the cycle over! — Four reasons I love camping | And a little recap of our most recent trip. — 50 Dreams | The fuel of a rebel family. — Things we do differently | Not a prescription, just permission to make the choices that help your family thrive – in big and small ways.
What I read in September: —The Frozen River | This one first caught my eye on a list of books featuring happy marriages (too rare!) and then was enthusiastically recommended (and a copy pressed into my hands) by Nancy. Both recommendations were spot on – this gripping historical mystery will battle it out for top book of the year for me! I was hooked by the narrator (a midwife in 18th century Maine) a few pages into chapter one and she never let me go. A note that the plot centers around sexual assault ❤️ — The Lost Letters of Pergamum | A slim little book that was recommended by The Bible Project. While it’s a fictional series of letters between the Biblical author Luke and a Roman civic leader, the author, a New Testament scholar, weaves historical information throughout to create an engaging (and sometimes appalling) look at the social and political world of Jesus and his first followers. — All Thirteen | One of my favorite bloggers has been raving about this Newbery Honor book for years, so I came in with high expectations. And I enjoyed it! It’s written for middle grader readers and filled with fascinating details about the 2018 cave rescue of the boys’ Thai soccer team. Planning to reread it with the kids when they’re a little bit older.
Revisiting my September goals: Film Sheptember Write my Thrive Motherhood presentation (Done! Whew! This was a beast but in the end fun to present – and a great push to get me back into writing the course!) Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive Finish the 2015-2019 photo album (YES!!! Locked and loaded and now just waiting for a 20% off coupon to hit print :)) Print photos for our new mantel frames Sort and tag for the consignment sale Tackle the upstairs closet Complete our passport appointment Complete 40 hours of deep work (28!)
October goals: — Edit Sheptember — Create our family Halloween costumes (We took a year off and I am v. excited about what we have planned for 2024.) — Refinish the dining room table (A beast of a job but I last did it 11 years ago (!), so it’s time. Hoping I can get a string of crisp days and work on the porch!) — Finish TCF content planning for the rest of the year — Finish writing the TCF course. (The Thrive presentation was a great reminder of how well I work with a deadline. I’m just going for it this month!) — Send care packages to our favorite college students — List items that have been accumulating on Buy Nothing — Make a Christmas decor plan. (Nothing fancy here – I just love decorating for Christmas and want to give a little thought for how we’ll proceed this year so I can arrange for anything new I need in advance!) — Choose our new china salad plates! (The ones from our wedding registry are scratched beyond recognition after 12 years of daily use and runs through the dishwasher. I’m grateful for every moment we’ve had with them and excited to choose something new! I’m in my green era so expecting to land on something in that shade – I like the look of this and this!) — Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
Grateful for you, friends! Feel free to respond to anything I’ve mentioned here or anything else that’s on your mind.
You know those podcast episodes that you hit play on as soon as you see them in your feed? Today’s post was inspired by one of them – a recent Lazy Genius episode. In it, Kendra shares 20 helpful decisions she keeps repeating across four areas of life: personal, kids, food, and money.
“Decide once” is probably my favorite Lazy Genius principle – it speaks to my heart which loves both efficiency AND intentionality – and though I’ve written about some of my “decide once” decisions before, we’ve never discussed money-related decisions specifically. Since I loved hearing Kendra’s, I thought it might be helpful to share some of John’s and mine, especially since we love chatting personal finance around here :) Let’s do it!
P.S. This is probably obvious, but “deciding once” means making one decision about one thing and continuing to make that decision over and over until it doesn’t work for you anymore. Boundaries AND freedom!
A mostly unrelated photo, but you know these Articles Club gals are a great source of riches in my life!
1. I sign up for every Meal Train that crosses my path, and I bring a prepared meal from a local shop. In this season of young kids, trying to prepare and deliver two meals in one day (for my family and the other family) was causing enough stress that it had begun to dissuade me from signing up in the first place. While it’s more expensive than cooking from scratch, I love that I can choose a meal that matches the family’s needs with ease (gluten- or dairy-free, vegetarian, etc.) and support a local small business, too.
2. When a school or teacher asks for money, we give it. Our oldest attends a public elementary school, and our middle will soon join her. We believe strongly in the importance of a vibrant and healthy public school system, and because I’ve done the mind-numbing math of what we’d pay if we sent our kids to a private school, it feels comparatively easy to drop by the store or send money on Venmo whenever a request circulates.
3. When we can help a foster family or a family in need, we do. Similarly, our church helps support foster families and at-risk families in a few different ways (buying diapers or baby gear for vulnerable pregnant moms, buying backpacks and school supplies for foster kids), and we always say yes when asked. Caring for the orphan, the widow, and the generally vulnerable was near to Jesus’ heart, and because we will likely not be a foster or adoptive family ourselves, it feels like a duty and joy to tangibly help those who are.
4. We will keep John’s car as long as we can. John’s Ford Focus is currently 12 years old, with less than 100k miles on it. He drives it to and from work twice a week… and that’s about it. While it does have power windows and AC (ha!), it’s a basic trim level and nothing fancy.
But that’s kind of why we love it :) It’s been paid off for almost a decade, and it works just fine. We have money sitting in an account for his next car, and it will be wonderful when he gets it, but that day won’t be until this one needs repairs that no longer make sense. Until that day comes, we just don’t think about replacing it.
5. We have a date night every month. And we almost always go out to eat, because the Triangle has incredible restaurants and all we really want to do is talk to each other :) Both the restaurant bill and the babysitter are expenses, but it is a non-negotiable for us and has been since June was small (back when it was a lot harder to fit it into the budget!).
6. We give 10% of our income each year to our church. While not a command to Christians, we believe this guidance is to our benefit, and a way God graciously cares for us as He partners with us to care for others. It took us several years of slowly increasing our percentage until we hit the 10% mark; we hope to increase it over time from here.
7. We give annually to our college. This feels like a direct inheritance from my maternal grandmother, who was a devoted alumna of her school (and heavily involved with my grandfather’s college even after his death). There was never a question of whether I’d give after graduation, and I’ve done so every year since. (I think I gave $50 the first year!) While it’s debatable how much of an impact my four years of undergrad had on my professional trajectory, I nevertheless feel incredibly grateful for my career path – and this is one way to pass on that gratitude.
8. We max out our HSA. While a bit more arcane, we prioritize this over maxing out our 401ks in this season, and have for many years. (I wrote a post about it in 2018!) It’s simply a part of building our budget each year: we look up the maximum contribution limit, then plug that into our budget.
9. We save a certain amount in our Home Free account each month. When I think about decisions we don’t think about, this is a big one. In fact, in many ways, it’s best not to think about this too much :) And luckily, we don’t have to! The money is automatically transferred from our checking account to our investment account each month. After almost a decade of doing so, we don’t miss it – which is very much to our benefit, as it quietly adds up in the background.
10. We make a budget every year. I know I’m a particular type of person, but it is truly hard for me to grasp how people maintain their mental health without a budget. Our budget is a plan. It reassures me that we’ve taken care of everything that we need to, and that if we stick to the budget, we are free to spend money without guilt, we’ll be able to pay our bills, and we can rest assured that we’re making progress on all of our savings goals. A budget has worked for us when we’ve had little money and when we’ve had more; it has helped keep our marriage (and minds) happy and peaceful in every season. I am so grateful.
Now I’d love to hear from you, friends! What’s on your financial “decide once” list?
Inspired by a recent Lazy Genius podcast episode, I thought we could chat today about a few small changes I’ve made recently that are bringing me outsize joy. To be clear, these are inexpensive, small, one-time changes, not necessarily steps on the way to a bigger change (though, of course, even small changes are always leading us somewhere!).
Not many of Kendra’s examples could be copy and pasted into my life, and I’m guessing mine wouldn’t fit exactly into your life, either — but hearing her changes immediately got my wheels turning, and I hope mine can do the same for you!
1. We bought a giant umbrella. As many of you know, we walk or ride bikes to elementary school each day. For the last few years, we’ve grabbed one of a handful of normal-sized umbrellas (each in various states of disrepair) on rainy days, then did our best to fit a grown-up, child, and backpack underneath.
Then! John bought this absolutely enormous golf umbrella a few months ago, and everyone can fit under with ease. Rainy days are positively luxurious now.
2. I leave ten minutes early for preschool pickup instead of five. I used to brag that it took three minutes to go door-to-door from our home to our two younger kids’ preschool, and while on the best of days that might be true, five minutes is a far more realistic average. Plus, they’ve changed a light pattern between here and there in the last year, and traffic has generally picked up on this particular stretch of road.
All this to say — I often made it in time leaving five minutes before pickup, but it was stressful. A few months ago, I committed to walking out the door with ten minutes on the clock, and it is the easiest-breeziest feeling to know I will arrive with time to spare.
3. I set my alarm ten minutes earlier. I’m an avowed snoozer — I do not like to get out of bed at the first chime of my alarm. While I don’t think there’s a moral component to snoozing or not, it can put a kink in my morning routine.
Recently, I had the somewhat brilliant realization that while it would not matter to mybody or brain if my alarm went off at 7:20 versus 7:30, I would have effectively moved my start time up by ten minutes as long as I committed to a single snooze. So I did, and it worked! Friends, you would not believe the difference ten extra minutes has made in my morning routine — I think I’m going to write a separate post about it, because this and a few other tiny changes have really added up.
4. I say yes every time John asks me to go on a midday walk. John and I both work from home three days a week. On those days, we’ll often go for a brisk 13-minute walk right after lunch. (Yes, we’ve got our normal loop down to a science!) Some days, though, I’d be in the middle of a task, or just feeling behind, and I’d beg off.
No more. Now, I always say yes. Nothing in my job is so urgent that it can’t wait 15 minutes, and my days are greatly improved by getting outside in the sunshine with the person I love most.
5. I listen to a podcast while making kids’ lunches in the evening. I have been known to grumble about how I don’t have enough time to keep up with the podcasts I subscribe to (especially now that I don’t commute to work). In an inspired application of the behavioral intervention temptation bundling (basically, combining something you have to do with something you want to do), I decided to take the extra minute to pair and pop in my earbuds before pulling out the lunchboxes each evening as I try to develop this habit. Catching up on Coffee and Crumbs, Risen Motherhood, or Honestly makes this somewhat-tedious 15 minutes something I look forward to.
6. I park far away. While I’ve been a default-stairs gal for awhile (my OB’s office was on the third floor and I took great pride in the fact that I never took the elevator through all three pregnancies, ha!), I’ve recently recommitted to parking in the back corner of the lot. Not always (not at night, not when I’m crunched for time, you know the drill), but when it’s at all reasonable, I do it. Every little bit of activity throughout the day helps! Plus, I kind of delight in making the “weird” and “slow living” choice :)
I tossed this question out to the Articles Club gals on our group chat and thought it could be fun to share a few of their answers, too! Here we go…
I have duplicate cleaning supplies on both levels of our house, which means our bathrooms stay much cleaner… though cleaning a bathroom still doesn’t make me happy. — Pressley
I plan out all my Peloton workouts on Monday and “schedule” them all, down to the exact class, so I don’t have to think about it the rest of the week. — Chelsey
We moved our socks to our dining room buffet. So much easier than walking back upstairs when we need to get out the door! — Ginna
On Sunday afternoons one of us now makes lunches for all four of us (two parents, two kids) for Monday and Tuesday. Not having to make a lunch on Monday evening delights me every single week! — Bethany
I keep a “gifts” note on my phone with gift ideas for… myself! My mind used to go blank when someone asked me but now I can just pull it up. — Chelsey
We bought giant containers of ranch and taco seasoning – no more worrying if we have a little packet in the pantry! — Libby
I taped a note by the front door of essentials we have to have when we leave the house on a weekday morning. (Me = phone, laptop, lunch; son = lunch, book bag with folder, water bottle; daughter = bottles, low supplies). Simple but effective! — Kelly
I’d love to hear:what small changes have you made recently that have made a difference? Please join in in the comments!
Maybe due to my nature, or maybe due to my job, I love January — full stop. You can keep your memes about how it’s 1,000 days long; I’ll keep it rolling as long as possible. And this January seemed like an especially January January for me. John and I laid some foundations for the year ahead (a fresh budget, vacation plans), I dug in deep on a big project and saw some early fruit, and I introduced some tiny new habits that have already made a big difference. How can you not love January, friends?!
But all good things must come to an end – on to February!
On my calendar: — I was asked to be a mentor in a freshmen women’s leadership program at my alma mater this semester and was matched with a gal who seems just lovely. We have our first monthly call this week! — The Divine Consign kids consignment sale. I visited in the fall for the first time and – dare I say it – it *may* have had a better selection than my beloved Hayes Barton. Certainly for older kids! — My birthday! It falls on a Wednesday this year, which is one of my weekdays off. After putting my nose to the grindstone on these days all January, I’m giving myself the gift of a purely fun day during the kids’ school hours. I’ll volunteer in June’s classroom to start things off (my usual weekly slot), then might take myself to a few thrift shops (I’ve been wanting to visit Pigfish Lane), eat lunch out (maybe with friends?!), and who knows what else? I’m excited.
What I’m loving right now (friend edition!): — My friend Cherith’s incredibly-helpful small business planner, which is like a wise friend to hold your hand as you create a business plan step-by-step. I had the joy of editing it at several steps in the production process, and it’s comprehensive and delightful! — The Bear’s “Forks”. I was already planning to recommend this standalone episode (it’s the only one of the show I’ve seen!), and then my friend Pressley went and wrote this essay that perfectly encapsulates its perfection. You truly can watch it even if you know nothing about the show, and I recommend you do. — Bumble Brews Play Cafe in Raleigh. My friend Libby opened this darling space in December with her husband, and the Articles Club gals feel like we’ve been along for the small business ride – not for the faint of heart! Stop by for a delicious warm beverage and a cozy space to play with your little one (they recommend 0-6!).
Okay — one more! (And not exactly a BFF but a gal can dream.)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— Y’all! The Articles Club Guide was a favorite from January! Thank you for being excited alongside us for our little niche slice of joy :) — The sticky mini easel pad we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays — The pink mailbox we use for Valentine’s Day fun — this one is very similar — Outlive, a book that’s playing a central role in one of my 2024 goals — The Anxious Generation, a book we’ve preordered x 3 (how happy am I that two of the top five are books?)
Last month on The Connected Family:
Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.
This was an unusual month for reading! I’m stretching several books (The Great Dechurching, Outlive, and Made for People) over a longer span for various reasons, and so only have a few to report on in full. They are:
— The Vanderbeekers Make a Wish | I continue to be wowed and delighted by how Karina Yan Glaser tackles harder topics for elementary kids with warmth, gentleness, and discernment. A favorite series for sure. — The Armor of Light | Another excellent installment of the epic Kingsbridge series! Made me want to go back and read the original – maybe this summer :) — Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | June received the illustrated second installment for her eighth birthday and we whizzed through it together.
Revisiting my January goals: Kick off The Connected Family well with four weekly posts (Yes! Exceeded my expectations in every way and I’m super grateful. I was honored to earn a little orange check mark in the last week of the month, which marks a Substack bestselling publication. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!) Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts (I did not get quite as far as I was hoping, but I did complete drafts of three (out of five) posts for the month!) Complete at least 85 hours of deep work (Whew, this one kicked my tail! A learning curve for sure. I chose 85 because it’s roughly 1000 / 12, but I fell decidedly short for various reasons and amassed 35. Adjusting for February!) Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate (Inquiry sent and we also had an initial meeting. We are waiting to hear back from him on next steps but we have a lot to consider.) Begin the Bible Recap reading plan (Yes, indeed! On track and it has been great so far! We listen together while we’re getting ready for bed.) Read the first three chapters of Outlive (Done! This was greatly helped by a tip from Lara that the audiobook is available on Spotify Premium, which we already pay for.) Take the Birds and Bees course (We set a date in February!) Prep for our Valentines mailbox (Underway! It’s been fun to come up with a few new ideas this year, like making wax paper crayon suncatchers, trying out the pasta maker we were gifted and have never used (eep), and a Poppin kit from HMart.)
February goals: — Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1 — Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk, which my parents drove down from their home in Connecticut. She chose Purple Cream for the color :) — Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat — Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (which works out to about 3 hours for every weekday in February, with a little grace built in) — Write one module of the TCF course — Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive — Take the Birds & Bees course with John
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
Next week’s post is a dear and personal one for me… looking forward to sharing it with you. Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on January — or anything else you’d like to chat about!
