A few years ago, I began a new holiday tradition: filling in a Christmas memory book.
This checks out, right? Holidays, traditions, and intentional memory making are kind of my thing (or, one of my things, anyway!), so this wasn’t a surprising development. What may surprise you, though, is how poorly I stuck to the tradition in the years since. I filled in about half of the questions the first year, and then a handful the second year… but always a bit half-heartedly. The prompts felt repetitive, and my answers weren’t capturing what actually mattered to me about the Christmas season.
This past year, I never pulled the book out of the Christmas boxes. And wow if this wasn’t Cultivate What Matters 101: if a goal (or a tradition, or project, or memory book) doesn’t really matter to you, you’re unlikely to follow through.
(Cut to me, not following through.)
So I sat with that for a minute. On the surface, this memory book seemed to be checking all the boxes: I love Christmas and value celebrating it in a meaningful way. I love writing. I love records that add up over time. Still, this book wasn’t doing it for me! As I packed away the Christmas boxes, though, I hit on something that I thought actually would be meaningful to me…
As longtime readers know, I pour significant time and effort into creating our Christmas cards and newsletters each year. It’s a project that connects me to my grandmother and to fond childhood memories of sitting around a table with my siblings and parents, adding our signatures one by one to the year’s letter. It scratches my creative itch, it connects me with people I love around the country, and it satisfies my desire to tell a story about the year as it’s ending — to tie a bow on it, if you will. It delights me to no end.
What would be meaningful, I realized, was finding a better way to enjoy those Christmas cards I work so hard on, as well as a few photos from each Christmas season. No, it’s not a 1:1 switch, but once I realized that this mattered much more to me than recording what we ate on Christmas Eve (spoiler alert, it’s always the same) or what songs everyone was loving that year (spoiler alert, they’re almost always the same), it was an easy one.
Now, our Christmas cards, letters, and photos live in a simple album that’s easy for everyone to flip through. I couldn’t love it more.
I know this is a tiny, simple switch, but to me, it”s emblematic of a larger idea, and so it seemed worth sharing, in case you might need the same reminder I did:
You can change traditions, no matter how long they’ve been running or how much money they cost to get off the ground. You can tweak them, refresh them, or scrap them completely.
You can change the way you capture memories. You can start something new (even if it won’t capture your whole marriage or your kids’ whole childhood!) and you can retire something that no longer fits (even if you’ve invested many years into it!).
Saying goodbye to what doesn’t matter (or what matters less) makes room for the things that matter more (and the things that matter most). That’s a reminder I always need. You, too?
Friends, I’d love to hear: have you scrapped or significantly changed a tradition or way you record memories? It can be really hard!
Just a quick post to share what’s going in our kids’ Easter baskets this year! (This might be as much for me as you – I love having the record of what they’re loving and how they’re growing each year.)
I know Easter baskets are not for everyone, but I’ve really grown to love the opportunity they give me to celebrate an important holiday in our faith, support small businesses, replenish basics at the turn of the season, and create some magic for our kids. And personally, as a creative person, they’re just really fun for me to collect, curate, arrange, and fluff! I might enjoy them even more than the kids :)
This year, it turns out everyone is well-stocked with some of my usual suspects: bathing suits (I usually turn to Boden, Hanna Andersson, or a consignment sale), pajamas (consignment sale, always), swim goggles, water bottles, sunglasses, chalk, and Natives. I still came up with some sweet goodies, though :) Here’s what each of our kids will be getting in their Easter baskets this year (note that some items are still en route to me!):
Shep, age 5, will have a sketch pad, a stopwatch (it was a two-pack!), dive gems, a snack container for kindergarten, bath bombs, a paint-by-sticker book, a few Yoto cards, chocolate pocky sticks, and new sneakers. We’re going with Kiziks (the Athena) since he’s busted through the velcro on his last two pairs when the rest of the sneaker still looked brand new – argh! You can use this link for $20 off a pair, if you’d like.
Just a quick post today to share a few scenes from around our Christmas home!
With the way our house is laid out – one main open room on the first floor, so only a few walls and corners – we just don’t have that many surfaces to decorate. While our nativity may be clustered around our TV instead of luxuriating on a foyer table or piano top, I think this year more than ever we made the most of what we do have.
Come on in!
Before we step inside, let’s pause on the porch. I envisioned Christmas wreaths on our front gates before they were even built and they live up to all my dreams! Wreaths are from Trader Joe’s and the bows are from Etsy.
These cardboard gingerbread houses were a very fun after-school project last week! I cut shapes from a delivery box and we all used white paint and white paint pens to add detail. The paint pens made it easy to achieve an elegant look even for our five year old. We didn’t trust Annie with them, but she had fun going to town with the white paint – the kids decided her houses were in the midst of a snowstorm, ha.
Popping a few bows in unexpected places was a new addition this year.
We had a German Christmas pyramid growing up and it was one of my very favorite decorations. I asked for the exact same one as a gift the first year we were in our house – this is it! The tablecloth is from HomeGoods.
All dressed up for Articles Club last night!
The pine garland is a new addition this year and is excellent quality. Sadly, it’s sold out (I went back to buy another for our stairs!), but I’d put in your email to be notified if you’re interested! That’s how I snagged these two earlier this year. Here are the candles (battery operated but with real wax!) and candleholders.
This canvas, one of Lindsay Letters’ very first, was a wedding gift more than a decade ago.
This may be of niche interest, but I wanted to share just in case. I bought two of these little caroling books ($4!) at the start of the season, and they have been fun for guitar singalongs. June, especially, loves them and has squirreled one away to her room in an attempt to memorize the lyrics to every Christmas song :)
Finally, here is a peek at our Christmas card! June and I chose the design together and I love that it’s festive while still working with our outfit color palette.
Thanks for stopping in, friends! If you have any questions about anything I haven’t mentioned, just drop a note in the comments.
Writing about your own generosity is a tricky thing, isn’t it?
On the one hand, there’s the very real fear that you’ll come across as prideful, a show-off. Or that you’ll needlessly make others feel bad about their efforts – which might represent a real sacrifice – or feel shame about the gap between your generosity and theirs.
So why risk it?
Of course, there’s also this, just one chapter later – also from the mouth of Jesus:
Giving in public = bad? Giving in secret = good? If only it were so easy :) The Christian faith is not interested in being simple; it’s interested in being true. In the end, the motivation of the heart is what categorizes the same act as either a treasure or a disgrace in the eyes of God, which can make it confusing to know when to share. However – as long as I can feel reasonably confident that I’m sharing to reflect the light and love of God and not to be praised by men blog readers, I want to do so.
Also, we hear a lot about Christians behaving badly. But there are many, many, many more stories of light that go untold – stories of quiet, unsung acts of selflessness, compassion, and generosity. We need those stories, too, to remind us about the beauty, grace, and truth of a life spent imitating Jesus (imperfectly, always, but earnestly, too).
Finally, on a practical note, I like hearing about the positive things others are doing! It inspires me to be better, to do more, to stretch my conception of what I think I’m capable of and comfortable with – and it gives me ideas for how to do so! It reminds me that people everywhere are doing their best to make people feel loved and the world a better place. It buoys my hope and optimism about my fellow man and the world we inhabit together.
So — with that lengthy introduction, I submit to you three ways we’re trying to live generously this Christmas season – written with humility and love!
We’re giving generously to our kids’ teachers.
Currently, Annie and Shep each have two preschool teachers, while June has her second-grade teacher, her math teacher, and a student teacher. In past years, we have given physical gifts to preschool teachers, like fresh wreaths, snap totes, and Cultivate goodies. I love all of these ideas and may return to them!
This year and last, however, we’ve moved to giving gift cards (accompanied by handwritten notes). Last year we gave each preschool teacher a $15 gift card to a local ice cream shop. This year, we’re giving them $50 gift cards to a local gift shop I love, and the director (who is also a teacher in Shep’s classroom) a $100 gift card to our favorite local restaurant. It’s been a challenging year in their school, and we want her and her husband to enjoy a fun dinner out.
For June’s main teacher, we’ll do a $75* gift card to either a local garden store or the same local restaurant – I haven’t decided yet! (I always try to choose based on their hobbies – last year, we gave her first-grade teacher, an avid runner, a gift card to Fleet Feet.)
*I had planned to do $100, the same as our preschool director, but our district put a $75 cap on gifts this year.
For her math teacher, we chose a 3-month subscription to the Book of the Month Club, and her student teacher will get a Cultivate tumbler stuffed with crinkle paper and a $50 coffee shop gift card.
Again: I include the dollar amounts not to show off (blerg), but to gently encourage. Last year, $15 for five preschool teachers felt like a stretch. My understanding is that even the smallest gift card is appreciated, and if $5 per teacher is what’s possible, it will be gratefully received.
This year, we can do more, so we are. When I think about what it would cost to send our three children to private school (I did the math right here), $100 per teacher feels like a drop in the bucket. Excellent teachers are the lifeblood of our schools and I’ll do almost anything to help them feel appreciated.
We’re giving generously to our pastor.
Moving on to our next category of challenging jobs :) Full-time ministry – whew! It is not for the faint of heart, for the pastor or for his or her family. They (joyfully!) sacrifice so much for the people in their care, and last year, John and I felt compelled to share one of our very favorite traditions with our pastor and his wife.
We wrote them a note explaining our end-of-year celebration dinner – what it is and what it has meant to our relationship over the last many years – and included a $100 gift card to a local restaurant in the envelope. We wanted to make it easy for them to start their own tradition, if they wanted to. We’ll do the same thing this year. Sowing into their marriage feels like sowing directly into God’s Kingdom, and we’re grateful to do it.
We’re giving generously to our garbage and recycling guys.
This is one I come by honestly – it’s straight from the brain of my mom :) Growing up, she’d always leave a Subway gift card and bag of peanut butter balls on top of our trash and recycling cans in December, and honestly, I thought it was weird – ha!
But I also just thought it was normal, and sure enough, when we moved into our own home a decade ago, I taped a colorful (eye-catching!) thank you note, a Jersey Mike’s gift card (we usually do $20 – enough for two guys in each truck), and a bag of peanut butter balls to the top of each can one Wednesday in December. I can only hope my children will think this is weird and then grow up to do the same thing, too.
Of course, I’d love to hear: big or small, how are you being generous this season? This group always has the best ideas.