What John does

31 January 2019

We celebrated our fourteenth dativersary this week. Can you believe it? Three more years, and we’ll have spent as much time together in this life as we have apart. We are the luckiest.

For all that has been written about the “emotional labor” and disproportionate household tasks that fall on women, I have been feeling super grateful lately for the little things John does to keep our household (and lives!) running smoothly. These aren’t tasks that would make their way onto a chore chart – though he does plenty of those, too – and they can so easily be taken for granted. I don’t want to do that, so I’m celebrating a few of them here. My sweet husband…

…refills our humidifiers
…washes and sanitizes bottles and pump parts every night
…packs our leftovers into John and Emily lunch-size portions after dinner
…stops our mail before every trip
…empties our robot vacuum after each tour of duty
…replaces my toothbrush head however often you’re supposed to do that
…finds and plugs my phone in to charge every night
…serves as my personal alarm clock every morning
…adjusts the thermostat to our preferred temperature upon waking and retiring
…makes June’s breakfast and fills her water bottle before school
…remembers to put our bath mat in the wash every so often
…keeps the nails of four members of our household trimmed (not including me, for the record)
…and replaces all the toilet paper, everywhere, always.

Notice a small thing today, friends, and thank someone for it :)

P.S. Our love story and five intentions.

A picture from our first summer together, above :)

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January 31, 2019 8:34 am

Happy happy dativersary to you two!! My parents’ first dativersary is today (43 years together today!), so I often think of y’all this week — it’s a huge milestone to be celebrated, especially knowing you’ll soon have been together for more than half of your lives!
I, too, have been feeling incredibly thankful for the countless ways Rob loves me well and serves our (admittedly tiny!) household without second thought or with a “well, of course! why wouldn’t I?!” when I thank him. Every single day I’m in awe by his care, thoughtfulness, and little ways (and big ways) that he loves me — and tells me that so often, too.
PS: really glad you take care of trimming your own nails ;) ha!

January 31, 2019 9:37 am

LOVE this celebration of the little things that John does to love you well! This is such a good inspiration to do the same in my life and I’m going to put some time on my calendar to jot down a little note to my husband thanking him today. It’s so easy to lose sight of that in our busy lives & parenting but is so important to appreciate. Happy dativersary!

Kelly Strawberry
January 31, 2019 9:50 am

Very sweet and inspiring, Em! Thanks for sharing :) St. Patrick’s Day will mark 12 years since Brian first asked for my number…feels like just yesterday! Oh, to be 19 again!

Happy dativersay!

February 5, 2019 12:35 pm

I had blocked from my memory the endless task of sanitizing bottles and pump parts…but thank you for the reminder because my husband would also help me clean them! Smiling at the memory! It’s so great to have help in areas we would assume would be managed by us alone. It’s nice to see how much of a partnership a marriage can become. <3

Bethany Howe
February 9, 2019 3:21 pm

I love this! Feeling extra grateful for a husband that does those tasks that I don’t like doing (a.k.a scooping the litter!).