Today I want to chat about a topic I don’t think I’ve ever seen covered on a blog: how to organize and simplify your own childhood memorabilia. There are plenty of resources out there for streamlining your kids’ stuff, but how about those of us still drowning in our own memories even while trying to organize memories for our kiddos? I’ve got some thoughts and a few things that have worked for me, and thought I’d share them today!

When I moved to North Carolina almost ten years ago (!), I had no idea how long I’d be here, or how long I’d be in my new apartment. I packed my UHaul with my clothes, furniture, some books, and some decor from my parents’ house, but left the vast majority of everything I didn’t use on a daily basis in my room at home. (Thank you, parents, for being okay with that!!)

Over the next few years, whenever I went home to visit, I would make a point to spend a little time sorting through what was left in my room: clothes, binders and notebooks from school, old toys, decor. Little by little, I got rid of what no longer had meaning to me and was better able to take inventory of what was left.

Likewise, every time my parents drove to North Carolina, they would bring a load of my stuff. With each new delivery, I’d sit down and sort through the pile, again keeping only what had meaning to me.

How did I decide what had meaning to me? I know a lot of people keep things because they think their kids might want to look at them someday, but that is not the driving force for me. Sure, there are some things I would love to share with my kiddos down the line if they express interest. For me, though, the reason I keep things is to remind myself of my story. “Finding a career” advice often encourages us to think back to our childhood passions, as they’re supposed to point us in the direction of our life’s purpose.

That is definitely true for me. One of the greatest passions of my life is writing, and I LOVE being reminded of how early this passion started for me and all the ways it grew throughout the years. Accordingly, one thing I’ll never give up is the picture book I wrote in second grade. The story was basically a rewrite of my favorite chapter book at the time (ha), but it was the first time I remember someone taking a special interest in this part of my identity: my teacher had the book laminated and bound, and she even sent it to the principal to read (who wrote a note in the back!).

As you all know, I am not very sentimental, but am HUGE on the power of stories. At their best, any mementos I keep remind me of who I am, what I’ve overcome, and where I’ve triumphed. They aren’t clutter; they bring me joy.

To summarize, here are my best tips if you’re staring down your own pile of stuff:

1. If possible, start early (before you have kids!). I’m so thankful I started early, because I had a LOT more free time on my hometown visits before June arrived, and a lot more time to sort through piles once back home!
2. If you aren’t sure, keep it. This might be controversial advice, and if you’re having a hard time letting go of anything at all, please disregard. But, if you’re making good progress and are just hung up on a few items, I would suggest you keep them. Purging can be a gradual process, and there’s usually no need to torture yourself to let something go if you’re not ready, even if you don’t think anyone would understand why you’re keeping the thing. You can always get rid of it in a few years if it’s no longer meaningful to you :)
3. Have a reason for what you keep. This is the necessary follow-up to tip number two! If you’re putting something in the “save” pile, try to articulate why you’re keeping it. It could be as simple as the thing brings you joy, but it shouldn’t be because you feel like you need to keep it or people would judge you if you let it go.
4. Don’t be afraid to purge gradually. For me, sorting through memorabilia isn’t a one-and-done thing. Whenever I have the itch to streamline or want to clear out a little more space, I go back through my things and cull a bit more. It usually ends up being every 2-4 years for a major look-through, with little trims off the edges here and there. For example, my Irish step dancing trophies hung on through several early rounds of purging. I kept all but the most significant trophies for a few more years, and then last year, I decided I was at peace about letting those go, too.
5. Take ownership. Out of sight, out of mind, right? If you’re lucky enough to have parents who have stored your stuff over the years, it’s so easy to just avoid the situation altogether. But that’s not fair to your parents, and it’s not fair to you, either! Get it into your own house so you’re forced to deal with it.

Once I slimmed down my entire collection to just the things I loved, I made a simple storage system. Currently, I have three big boxes and three little boxes in our guest room closet.

Big boxes:
— Middle school and younger: report cards, “books” I wrote, school pictures, newspaper clippings, dance memorabilia, a story journal my Dad and I used to pass back and forth, diaries…
— College: my acceptance letter, favorites papers I wrote, event programs, graduation cards, volumes of the literary journal I was published in…
— Random: this box could probably stand to be culled but includes a bunch of the mixed CDs John made me in our early years of dating, my four high school yearbooks, a scrapbook of our first year of dating, and the DVD of my final Irish dancing show, among other things

Little boxes:
— High school: commencement program, newspaper clippings, AP exam results (ha), my diploma, programs from events…
— Our wedding: one of each piece in our paper suite, my bouquet ribbon, particularly meaningful cards we were sent, our wedding film DVD, our wedding photo CD, our newspaper announcement…
— Our life together: LOTS of notes we’ve written each other over the years, notes from friends, souvenirs from our honeymoon, a small painting of our cats, a copy of each of our Christmas cards, my baby shower invitation…

You might want to keep more or less than I have – and that’s totally fine, as long as it aligns with what you value and you have the space for it! :)

Friends, I would love to hear: is this something you struggle with? Where are you in the process of getting your own childhood things in order? What system have you landed on?

Friends, first of all, thank you so much for your heartfelt comments on my last post. Each one meant so much to me, so thank you for sharing! I love you all! Now onto the business of today…

We talk often at my job about how our greatest frustrations can turn into our greatest passions, and sometimes (if we’re lucky), even our life’s work. I had a bit of a light bulb moment a few weeks ago, and thought I’d share it…

One of my greatest frustrations is seeing women accept conventional wisdom and societal truisms as being true for their lives, even if they are not or don’t have to be. So often, I think we just accept things because we hear other people or our parents or our friends or TV anchors or newspaper columnists say them enough times — so they must be true.

And sometimes they are. But I believe they don’t always have to be. Instead of bending this way and that with the winds of everyone else’s paths and opinions, we CAN be confident in the life we’re living and the priorities where we’re planting our flags. It takes a firm foundation and an inner surety to be able to do this in the face of an entire culture (and sometimes very real people in your life) telling you you should second guess everything and just go with the flow, but it can be done.

You all helped me see in your survey responses that confidence is what we’re doing here. Hopefully, through sharing my story, I can show you that it’s okay to live your own path kindly, purposefully, and simply, without fanfare or fluster. I am capable, and so are you. Here are some of the lies we’ve sidestepped here together:

If you’re good at something, you need to find a way to make money doing it.
I’ll never pay off my student loans.
Emotional labor is a burden and a curse.
Time flies by so quickly.
The only way you can have a job you love is to work for yourself.
Mom guilt is unavoidable.
I wish I could give my children the childhood I had, but the world is different now.

If you find Em for Marvelous to be a breath of fresh air (as many of you so kindly worded it in your responses), I hope it’s because you leave feeling built up and inspired to walk your own path, not necessarily to follow mine.

As I said at the beginning of the How We Do It series, I don’t have all the answers, but one thing I have been given is a confidence in the decisions I make for myself and my family, and a willingness to share them. Confidence can be as infectious as guilt, shame, or uncertainty, but it’s much, much better to spread. As I wrote down at the last Making Things Happen Conference, my life’s work is to equip and empower women to see that they are capable, and this blog is a large part of that. I’m so glad you’re here.

Which brings us to our survey results! As of last week, I clocked 250 survey responses, and figured that was a nice even number to cap it at for this year! Some of you asked to see the results, so here’s a bit about your fellow readers…

— A fifth of readers have only been reading for a year. BUT, more than half of you have been reading for five or more years, which is pretty incredible!!
— 70% of you found EFM through my work, for which I am so grateful!
— The majority (73%) of you are married.
— Most of you have a “traditional” job, which I love. I would consider my job to be traditional (and awesome!), as well.
— 87% of you are between the ages of 23-35. The most common age split was 27-30, just younger than me, which makes a lot of sense given a common theme in the open-ended responses: that you consider me something of a big sister, often one step ahead of you in life.
— About half of you don’t have kids! That really surprised me. But, you still like parenting posts, as you’ll see below! Also, congratulations to my 13 pregnant readers :)

One thing that came up over and over is that y’all like the variety of content I share, which is nicely demonstrated by this data. Nearly all of you chose practical tips as a favorite topic, with finance coming in a close second. (The How We Do It series and Marvelous Money posts were mentioned almost unanimously as favorites in the open-ended section.) I’d also consider goals, life updates, deep thoughts, love and marriage, and parenting and pregnancy in the top tier.

This question is one of my favorites, because though I’m never going to write about anything I’m not passionate about (this is just a hobby for me and I like to keep it fun!), I have pages and pages of potential topics. Hearing from y’all and learning more about you helps me decide which of those topics to move to the top of the list, which is great for both of us! :)

Once again, you all were uniformly kind and encouraging in the open-ended responses. Words you used to describe EFM included real, relatable, honest, intentional, simplicity, inspiring, positive, normal, practical, calm, sincere, and encouraging. My favorites were “real” and “normal” :) More:

— This comment summed up probably the strongest theme: “EFM is a breath of fresh air in a space where many blogs focus on more materialistic things to bring happiness. When reading your blog, I come away with practical and meaningful things I can do, rather than buy, to improve myself and my life.” That is the beauty of writing for love rather than money, I think – you’re just getting my real life, complete with real budget. As another one of you said: “Your blog feels like it’s about authentic living for real people: people who have jobs and families and budgets but want to slow down, find joy, and still be an adult.”
— Many of you commented that you love keeping up with my family, and also that you appreciate my boundaries (and a few asked about how I keep them strong). I think there’s a post in the future there, because unsurprisingly it’s something I’m passionate about!
— Possibly my favorite comments came from the women who shared that we are different in significant ways (maybe they don’t share my faith, don’t have kids, don’t live in the South, have a totally different job, etc.), but that they still love reading EFM. In a world where it’s so easy (and common!) to tune out anyone who’s different from you, that feels like some of the most gratifying feedback.

Anyway, I hope that peek into the survey results was interesting! And that my soap box speech wasn’t too intense, ha! Again, I’m so, so thankful for each one of you, and especially for you sharing your thoughts with me. Together, we make this a sweet spot on the internet :)

I would love to hear: do my thoughts on confidence resonate with you? What are some of your greatest frustrations?

All photos by Nancy Ray from our family session

Friends, we are adding a baby BOY to our family! What?!?

Yep, that’s how I felt when we opened the envelope! (Though apparently this news won’t surprise most of you – the guesses leaned heavily in the male direction on my Instagram post!)

A few things to discuss:

With June, I 100% knew we were having a girl from the start. Just knew. This time around, I did not have a strong feeling either way. I think in my heart I knew we were having a boy — I just perhaps wasn’t ready to admit it to myself, as I was fairly open about the fact that I was hoping for another girl.

Why was I hoping for another girl?

First, June is just the best, so of course we’d want a repeat!

Second, having a boy is definitely more of an unknown, considering I grew up with two sisters and mostly girl cousins and friends. I know it sounds dumb, but I’m not even sure what you do with a boy?? (Answer: pretty much the same thing you do with a girl, especially at the beginning.) We’ve already proven ourselves to be successful parents to a girl (at least thus far), and another girl just seems like the easier route.

I’m also a bit sad that I won’t be able to have back-to-back girls to recreate the sister bond I grew up with, which was very precious to me. I think I benefitted in many ways from growing up in a family with only girls, and that’s no longer a possibility for our family. (Side note: John thinks I would have greatly benefitted from growing up with a brother, so there’s that…)

Finally, as you all know, I rely heavily on my parents’ example in all things parenting, but I’m left without a road map for this particular twist. I don’t know how my Mom and Dad would have parented a boy! What would they have done differently? What would they have done the same? I don’t have a trustworthy, up-close example to follow now for our multi-gender family, and I’m a bit unsure of my abilities to pioneer this path.

We found out last week, and since then, my shock has turned to wonder, in the best way. There are at least four reasons for this.

1. I use the word “wonder” because I am truly excited to see the incredible things God works in our family and in my life through this addition of a boy. It’s already guaranteed to be good, but God is known to do amazing things that we could never predict or foresee. I am humble enough to know that my desires do not always match up with what would actually be best for me.

2. John was a ridiculously adorable child, and the thought of our boy looking or acting like him at all makes my heart swell to twice its normal size.

3. The excitement of other mamas with boys has been nothing short of delirious. One friend (ahem) literally jumped up and down and squealed when she found out, and everyone else wasn’t close behind. They all claim there is something uniquely precious and sweet about having a boy, and though I obviously adore having a little girl, I’m willing to bet there’s something to the unanimous enthusiasm.

4. As I wrote when I first shared our happy news, my biggest challenge with baby number two has been keeping my expectations in check. I think it will be SO much easier to approach the newborn days (and really all the days after them) with open hands now that I know this baby is a boy. Logically, I might know that all babies are pretty much the same, but the switch from girl to boy is enough to trick my brain into thinking “Oooh, new experience! Who knows what to expect? Not you!” :) To which I say, GREAT!

Thank you, as always, for sharing in our story, friends! Grateful for each one of you!

P.S. OBVIOUSLY I am heartbroken that all of June’s adorable clothes I’ve been saving will not get used for this sweet baby. And completely befuddled that there are not analogous boy clothing items for leggings and dresses. Dressing a baby/toddler girl seems SO MUCH EASIER – but that is a post for another day :)

P.P.S. Speaking of girl clothes… this dress is my favorite right now!! A few of you asked me about it, so here ya go!

All photos by our wonderful friend Graham Terhune of Anagram Photo!

Today is the last day to take my survey! I’ve heard from more than 200 of you already (so wonderful!), but if you haven’t answered the questions and entered the giveaway yet, now is your chance!

I’d like to propose to you one of those quintessential defining divides, like morning v. evening people or pessimists v. optimists: are you a board game person?

I fall squarely into the board game camp, and it has both shaped my character and been a siren song leading me to some of my most precious friendships over the years. To me, board game people are good people: they like having fun, they’re smart, they’re patient, they’re cooperative, they know how to win and lose, and they like spending time with people. Those are totally unbiased opinions, of course :)

Unsurprisingly, I believe board games can be a great tool for building a healthy and vibrant family culture — they certainly were in both my family and John’s family! I’ve collected a long string of favorites stretching from childhood to college to parenthood, and I’d love to swap recommendations…

Note: card games are totally included under this activity umbrella!

Second note: apparently I don’t have a lot of photos involving board games to share. Not sure what I’m doing in this photo but judging by the pile of pennies in the center I believe Marget and I are ready to play 31 :)

In elementary school, my family’s favorite games included:

— Boggle (I have literally never heard of anyone else playing this game but our word-loving family LOVED it, even though my Dad would crush us all, always.)
— Scattergories (a perennial favorite to this day!)
— Mancala
— Tripoley (another one I haven’t heard of many people playing, but so fun!)
— Stratego
— Monopoly
— Rummikub
— Battleship
— Spoons

We had a whole subset of games we played just at the Island, and these included Parcheesi, Oh P’Shaw, Mahjong, and Hi-Ho Cherry-O (which we liked mostly because it involved tiny cherries and buckets).

I was incredibly lucky to have friends in high school who also loved playing games (one of the first things John and I bonded over!). We almost exclusively played Cranium (as demonstrated above by John and our friend Dan!), but there were some poker nights and Taboo matches mixed in.

Games have led us to some of our best friends later in life, including Nancy and Will. Fun fact: I got the courage to email Nancy and suggest a game night after reading about her love for Settlers of Catan on her blog back in 2010!! More recently, we knew our neighborhood friends Katie and Scott were, like, the real-deal type of friends instead of just acquaintances when they introduced us to a new-to-us game that became a family hit, Codenames!

These days, some of our favorites include Celebrity (called Fish Bowl by some people), Seven Wonders, Werewords, Settlers, Scattergories, Mexican Train, 99, and Codenames. We’ll take any chance we can get to play with our favorite people, even if it means putting our kids to sleep at each other’s houses for a few uninterrupted hours! :)

Hopefully I’ll be able to write a post in a few years sharing some of the games we’ve started indoctrinating June with playing with June… in the meantime, I’d love to hear any of your favorites, if you’re a board game person, too! :)

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