Welcome back, friends! This is the final post in an eight-part series by Nancy Ray and I covering “how we do it” in different areas: the rhythms, habits, and routines that help us get things done and make the space and time for what matters most. If you’re just joining us, you can read more of the backstory here and catch links to all of the posts at the bottom of this one!

This final post is all about ways we organize life with kiddos — currently, an almost three-year-old and a six-month-old for Nancy, and a two-year-old and one on the way for me. As I was typing in our heart for this series (above), I realized it’s nowhere more important than for this final post. Every effort John and I take to simplify things – really in any area of our life, but especially areas having to do with kids – is to make time for what matters most.

For us, what matters most is helping our kids grow into kind, capable, well-adjusted people who love God and love people. We have our own theories about the best ways to accomplish that, and at this age and for our purposes today, they boil down to lots of unstructured time with mom and dad for love and learning on the fly. As I wrote last year, “we are just together.”

My personal mantra in this arena is, “If I’m too busy to go at June’s pace, I’m too busy.”

(To be sure, there are times when I just need her to get in her car seat already – but even those I try to keep to a minimum. Do we really need to leave the Target parking lot right this instant?)

To be able to live like this, we’ve had to make clear choices about how we spend our own time (for example, I currently have very few commitments outside the home), how we spend June’s time (she has no extracurricular activities besides preschool), and how we do things in our home (no elaborate systems that require a lot of upkeep). That last part is where this post comes in! Here are a few ways we stay organized — simply.

A reminder: everything in this post is what has worked for our family in the past or is working for our family now. It doesn’t mean it’s a one-size-fits-all solution, the best solution for anyone else, or that it’s the system that will work best for our family in the future. If I describe something that would never work for you, doesn’t fit with the way you’re raising your own kids, or that you don’t think will work once we have more than one child, no worries! As Amy Poehler says, “good for her, not for me” :)

1. We keep meals simple. June eats the same thing for breakfast and lunch pretty much every day (with variations on the same elements, like fruits and veggies). We’re not trying to reinvent the wheel at every meal. This makes shopping and preparing easier. She also eats the same food for dinner as we do – we’ve just never offered her an alternative.

2. We chose a simple option for childcare. Many readers have asked why we chose daycare/preschool over a nanny for June’s care. There are several reasons for this, but one is that we wanted a simplified system. I didn’t want to be searching for a new nanny every few months or every year, and I didn’t want to be responsible for managing another relationship, negotiating pay, or covering for our one caretaker’s sickness or vacations, especially since we don’t have family locally who can fill in.

3. We keep screens simple. I am not interested in power struggles over screens. June does not have a tablet and we have no plans to get her one in the future. (I know I am in the minority, here – Baby Center says half of kids get their own by age 5.) If it’s not in our house, it’s not something we have to enforce rules about. I am pretty militant about not using my phone in front of her, so that’s not something she asks for, either. One area where I consider myself more lax? Watching the actual TV in our house. If I’m cooking dinner or otherwise occupied, I have little problem with her watching a show. Negotiating with her siblings over which show to watch will be a good learning opportunity in the future, too :)

4. We keep gifts simple. I update an Amazon wish list (you can add items from anywhere!) with June’s current wishes. If there’s a toy or piece of clothing I’m considering buying, I’ll add it there so I don’t forget about it. It’s also, of course, great for sending to family members around holidays or her birthday!

5. We keep our organization systems simple. And they’re not always (or even usually) pretty. Of course, as we refine our systems and open up room in the budget, we do aim for solutions that bend toward both the beautiful and the functional – but that’s not our highest priority. For example, since she came home from the hospital, June’s clothing has been stored in (neat!) stacks in the corner of our room. With the way our morning and evening routines flow, it doesn’t make sense to store them in her upstairs bedroom. With a little extra room in the budget this year, we are searching for a pair of small dressers to replace our current bedside tables – we think they’ll be the perfect solution for our current needs! But again, the need and the function came first, and the aesthetics come when they can.

Finally, the easiest way to keep things simple is to do what works for you. I don’t have to explain or justify my choices to anyone, however unconventional they might be, and neither do you! For example, June eats breakfast every weekday morning in her high chair in the bedroom/bath while John and I get ready for work. (See our last June in June video for proof!) Some people might find this bizarre – I call it family fun and togetherness :) As long as it’s safe and loving, you do you, friend!

Just one more note on why I keep things simple. I keep as many things as I can as simple as possible so that I can face the innate complexity of living with a two-year-old with calm and joy — because kids are at root messy and complex. (Lovable and wonderful, but also messy and complex.)

June helping me make dinner?
More complex than me doing it myself.

June wanting to put her own socks on in the morning?
More complex than me doing it myself.

June wanting to touch all the buttons in the checkout line?
Helping her press the one she CAN touch is more complex than doing it myself.

But that’s complexity that helps her learn, teaches her social skills, builds her vocabulary, improves her motor skills, and increases her patience. It’s complexity that tells her she’s valued, she’s capable, and that I love her more than anything… and THAT is the kind of complexity I want to invite into my life.

Friends, I hope you’ve loved this series! Whether you’ve taken away a practical idea or just liked hearing more about the minute details of someone else’s life (hand raised!), it’s been a joy to write and a joy to hear from so many of you in the comments section. Thank you for being wonderful, as always! More good stuff to come :)

P.S. Don’t forget to read Nancy’s post! Can’t wait to see what she has to say on this topic!

The whole series:
Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Lives: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Relationships: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Kids: Nancy’s post

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When Nancy wrote the original organization series back in 2014 that inspired this one, her Spiritual Life post was what sealed the deal for me. As a lifelong Christian who still feels like a beginner in so many ways, it was SO HELPFUL to read very specific details about what her faith life looked like on a day-to-day basis. Beginner though I may still be, I hope that today’s post can help pay the gift Nancy gave me forward, four years down the line!

To catch up any new folks: Nancy Ray and I are writing an eight-part series every Tuesday in January and February covering “how we do it” in eight different areas: the rhythms, habits, and routines that help us get things done and make the space and time for what matters most. You can read more of the backstory here.

As a Christian, organization in my spiritual life is by far the most important area we’ve touched on in this series. My natural inclination is to choose the path of least resistance, to opt for the lazy version, and to prioritize the wrong things. The easier I can make it for myself to choose the right things — to choose Jesus — on a daily basis, the better. Today I’m humbly submitting a few things that have worked for me:

1. Evening quiet time. My best time with the Lord and in the Word comes before going to sleep, curled up in bed. I usually begin by praying as I do some gentle stretches on top of the covers (helps me keep my mind focused!), then move into one of a few practices. I love using my Write the Word journal because it encourages me to roam around the Bible and not get stuck in one section. I use the “on my heart section” to reflect on a way I saw God moving that day. If I’m working through a particular book or section, I’ll use my prayer journal (just a blank notebook) to write out a favorite verse from what I read, then write out a short prayer. Then, I’ll spend another few minutes praying before cracking open whatever book I’m reading. Which brings me to…

2. Reading great books. There are some incredible teachers out there, and I have learned things from them that might never have become clear to me in any other way! First and foremost, C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity was faith-changing for me — so much so that I try to re-read it every year to soak in more of his wisdom. If you’ve never read it, please, please do, whether or not you’d consider yourself a Christian! Other favorites: The Meaning of Marriage, The Lifegiving Home, Too Busy Not to Pray, You and Me Forever, For the Love, 7, Love Does, and Crazy Love. I usually read a faith-based book at least every other month.

3. Attending church. The weekly rhythm of worshipping with other believers is so important for me personally. Not only is it an act of submitting my time to God (even and especially when I think I have a better way to spend it), but it’s a set aside time to listen for Him, to take communion, to encourage others in their faith walks, and to sing out some praise!

We also make a point to go to church when we’re traveling whenever possible, including this pretty one below! In addition to maintaining a weekly rhythm, it can be so energizing to see how another body does things, and also to take ideas back to your home church. There are a few messages we heard on the road years ago that John and I still talk about!

4. Listening to great sermons. In addition to our own church, John and I listen to sermons from a handful of incredible pastors around the country (and even across the pond). We listen to Adam Hamilton’s sermon almost every week (usually streaming live as we’re eating lunch on Sunday), and even after literally nine years of listening to him I still feel like I learn something every time and leave challenged to change something in my life. Highly, highly recommended, especially if you are newer to faith or curious. We also really like Darren Whitehead from Church of the City in Nashville.

5. Spending time with other believers. I’ve written about this a bit before, but moving to the South was life-changing for us in many ways, not the least of which being the way it changed our relationship with our faith. For really the first time, we were regularly and intimately doing life with people that were way farther ahead in their faith than us, and who lived it out as a crucial and foundational part of their daily life. I cannot understate how much I have learned and grown from these people, whether by listening to them pray, talking through scripture with them, or watching as they wrestle with a circumstance in their life.

I still so clearly remember the first time Nancy told me she would pray for something for me, and then she proceeded to list out the very specific ways she was going to do so (i.e. I’ll pray for skill for your doctor, wisdom and clarity as you make decisions, and peace for your heart). My mind was blown! I’m sure this seems so basic to some, but it was revolutionary to me, as I had never heard someone talk about prayer in that way before. I am always learning from those around me.

6. Filling my mind with scripture. In addition to reading the Bible, we keep verses and good words close at hand and around our house, weaving them visually into the fabric of our family. When I’m faced with a challenge or question (or a joy!), I want a scriptural message to spring first to my mind, and that means becoming deeply familiar with the word. We have verses pinned to our fridge, framed on shelves, hung on our walls, and rotated out on our letterboard, to name a few. We also wear them, thanks to Walk in Love! My favorite piece of art is the Lindsay Letters fruit of the spirit canvas we just hung in our master bath – I love that it is one of the first things I see every morning!

7. Tithing. As people who are passionate about personal finance and filled with big dreams for our future, it would be so easy to go off the rails in this area. Tithing is one way we keep the first things first, reminding ourselves that everything that we have has been entrusted to us, and that we are simply the caretakers, tasked with doing the most good with what we have been given. Though I know the money we bring goes out into the world and does a lot of good, I honestly feel that the act of tithing is so important that I’d need to do it even if I just dumped the money into a hole every week. But I’m glad we don’t :)

8. Praying as a family. One of the best things that came out of my “year of prayer” last year was taking turns offering an extemporaneous blessing over dinner. As someone who grew up in a household reciting a standard blessing each night, this was a big step outside my comfort zone, but it opened the door to so much more, including blessings before each meal (except when we forget, which definitely legitimately still happens!), praying with June before bed, and praying together through our most extreme circumstances, both good and bad.

I’ll end by saying that of all the topics in this series, I most hope that if I were to rewrite this post in a year or five years or ten years, it would look totally different. I still have SO much to learn and so much discipline to cultivate, and for me, there’s no more important area of personal growth. If every year I can look back and say I trusted more, loved more, listened more, read more, prayed more, and acted more than the year before, I’ll be satisfied.

So friends, help a girl out: What’s one thing that’s bringing you closer to God these days? I would love to hear!

P.S. Don’t miss Nancy’s post today! I can’t wait to read her freshened-up perspective :)

The rest of the series:
Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Lives: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Relationships: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Kids: Em’s post and Nancy’s post

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Hi friends! Today in our How We Do It series we’re talking about relationships! I know what you all really want to know is how I maintain friendships without text messaging or getting together with girlfriends, so let’s start there! :)

To catch up any new folks: Nancy Ray and I are writing an eight-part series every Tuesday in January and February covering “how we do it” in eight different areas: the rhythms, habits, and routines that help us get things done and make the space and time for what matters most. You can read more of the backstory here.

To be clear, as I clarified on the first post in this series, I do both text and get together with girlfriends – just on a more limited basis than I perceive my peers do. First off, I always reply to texts sent to me :) In general, though, texting just doesn’t seem to be the main way my friends communicate (I’m more likely to send longer-form emails). And, as much as it gets a bad rap, one of my favorite ways to keep in touch with faraway friends is through Instagram! I think it can be an amazing way to be a part of the mundane parts of each other’s lives that we wouldn’t normally think to discuss on, say, a phone call.

A few years ago, I started two practices that made a huge difference in some of my closest relationships. Every Monday on my drive home from work, I call my Mom. We’ll talk or FaceTime at other times throughout the week, but even if we don’t, I always know we’ll connect then! Similarly, every Tuesday I have a Google Hangout with my two sisters. We’ll occasionally miss a week, but having the standing date on the calendar means we chat more weeks than not. Both have been easy habits that have paid dividends in these relationships!

On the girlfriends (and really, friends in general) front, I’ll say this: I am a major quality over quantity person. I don’t really have that many, but the ones I do have are a treasure to me and get extra doses of my love and affection! Our close couple friends we try to see at least once a month. Most of the remainder of my girlfriends live in my neighborhood or on my street, so I get together with them casually just being outside without organizing specific “nights out,” etc. I do have two structured get-togethers each month, which are easy for me to plan for and organize: Articles Club (of course!) and a neighborhood book club.

Here’s one thing that can be a bit difficult, both organizationally and emotionally: getting more than one couple together. For example, we wanted to have three husband and wife pairs over for a game night for my upcoming birthday. I swear, it took no fewer than 25 text messages between the four ladies to figure out a mutually agreeable date from the eight options I originally proposed. Since we don’t have a million close friends, we can’t just throw out a general invitation for something like this and expect anyone to show up, but feeling so dependent on so few people can leave me feeling self-conscious or inadequate, especially around special occasions. In the end, though, that’s just the type of people John and I are, and these friends are worth it :)

A tool that I sometimes use for gauging the best date for larger gatherings: Doodle! I’ve mentioned it before, but it can be a great timesaver when organizing with a bunch of busy folks.

I keep track of birthdays in a pretty perpetual calendar, which I keep out on our counter and reference during my prep days. MY PREP DAYS! They are another key to keeping things organized in my personal life. When I thought about what had stopped me in the past from doing kind and fun things for the people I love, it wasn’t a lack of money or time, it was a lack of preparation. Starting last year, I designated one day a month (the last Sunday of each month, usually) my prep day, and I take about two hours to walk through a few steps to prepare for birthdays, holidays, events, date nights, etc. You can read more about them here.

On those prep days, I always have blank floral cards on hand from Rifle to use for birthdays, anniversaries, congratulations, or condolences. I usually buy a few packs on Black Friday, which cuts down on having to run out and buy a card for every occasion!

A few final tips around holidays: I keep all of my mailing addresses in a Google Doc (I know a lot of people use and love Postable, too!). I keep track of past Christmas and birthday presents (only for John and June) in other Google Docs. Future present ideas go in my Notes app so I can update it on the fly!

As always, I feel like there was so much more I could cover under the very general “relationships” heading, so if there’s something you’d like for me to tackle in a future post, please let me know! Can’t wait to see what Nancy has to share today, too! :)

P.S. I didn’t really touch on tending to my marriage in this post because I feel like I talk about it fairly often – for more on that topic, check out this category!

The rest of the series:
Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Lives: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Relationships: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Kids: Em’s post and Nancy’s post

read more

Work is not something I talk about often on Em for Marvelous, so hopefully this installment of How We Do It will be an interesting glimpse into another facet of my life, one which many of us have in common!

To catch up any new folks: Nancy Ray and I are writing an eight-part series every Tuesday in January and February covering “how we do it” in eight different areas: the rhythms, habits, and routines that help us get things done and make the space and time for what matters most. You can read more of the backstory here.

Let me begin by saying I love my job, and I feel incredibly, incredibly lucky to have it. There are a number of reasons for this, but here are a few:

1. I find my work deeply meaningful. It’s personally meaningful to me, and I can directly see the positive impact my work has on other people’s lives, adding meaning to theirs. My work is one powerful way I’m able to share the gifts — the unique personality traits, the skills, the experiences — that God has entrusted to me.
2. I work for an amazing company. It’s a small business, and I have an impact on the decisions it makes, the direction it takes, and the opportunities it pursues. I have autonomy in how I structure my days, I feel valued, and I earn a steady income. As someone with an entrepreneurial heart and drive but little interest in owning my own business, this company is a perfect fit.
3. I love the ladies with whom I work. They are kind, they are smart, they are fun and funny, and they are passionate. Did you ever have the experience in school where you hated group projects because you always just wanted to do everything yourself instead of entrusting things to other group members? (Both hands raised!) Well, I never feel like that at work, and it’s something I still don’t take for granted! It’s incredible to work on a team where you trust everyone else will do their work just as well as you would, if not better.

I know my situation is unique, and again, I feel incredibly lucky. It’s one reason why I never seriously considered quitting my job altogether when June was born. I knew if I were to let go of it, there was no guarantee that I could ever find anything like it again when I wanted to reenter the workforce, say, when she was in elementary school.

I did, however, make a few adjustments when she came along, and they’ve made it so much easier to be both a mama and a team member. I now work a shortened day, from 9 to 4. I also work from home three days a week. To be clear, June still goes to school on those days, but since her school is literally two minutes from our house, we don’t skip a beat in the afternoons, and we still have time to play outside, go on an adventure, and get dinner on the table without feeling rushed or stressed (usually!).

As our family grows and kiddos get older, I’m grateful that further flexibility is a possibility, whether that means working 8 to 3 to match elementary school hours or cutting back to four days a week to accommodate the growing complexity of multiple kiddos and activities. Again, part of the reason that flexibility is a possibility is because of my longevity and loyalty to my company (I’ve worked there nine years!), and the equity I’ve built – something younger readers might want to keep in mind as you consider the shape of your career :)

Someone asked in my survey last year how I keep my work feeling fresh after having the same job for so long. The answer is in part everything I described above, and the other half is that, working for a small company, things are always changing whether I like it or not! (And y’all know I like stability!) In my tenure, we’ve grown from 3 to 9 team members, and the ways we do business, the ways we generate revenue, and even the structure of the company itself have changed drastically. That keeps you on your toes!! My role has also changed significantly over the years, which has led to plenty of opportunity for growth and learning.

So that’s a little bit about how I integrate my work and home life. Now, here are a few strategies I use for staying organized at work:

1. When I’m at work, I have child care. This is without a doubt the thing that makes being a mama and a team member sustainable and enjoyable. Though I am grateful to have the flexibility to work from home when June is sick or home from school on the odd holiday I don’t have off, I kind of hate working while she is at home — for me, it’s the only time when I feel like I’m failing as both a mama and an employee. When I’m with her, I’m all-in, and when I’m at work, I’m all-in — and confident that she is having so much fun with her friends and sweet teachers at preschool! This does not come cheap (gracious, no), but the peace of mind is worth every penny.
2. I try to use a one-touch email system. That means I’m okay with letting emails sit unread for hours or sometimes even days, but once I open them, I make an immediate decision and get them out of my inbox. That eliminates the time wasted of diving back into the parameters of a decision or situation multiple times without solving it and moving on. I also take advantage of Gmail canned responses whenever possible. Those things are lifesavers!
3. I use Asana to stay organized. Asana is a project management system, and our team is a bit obsessed with it. We implemented it about two years ago, and though it sounds cliched, I’m really not sure how we got anything done before we did. Not only does it help multiple team members contribute to and stay up to date on each project, but we have taken the time to document “process templates” for everything we routinely do, whether that’s writing a blog post, planning a photo shoot, or hiring a new team member. Each time I’m faced with a task, I just plug in the steps and follow them instead of starting from scratch each time, potentially overlooking something important.

4. I use Pomodoros in especially busy seasons. Usually the day to day rhythm of work is enough to keep me focused, but if it’s crunch time or I’m feeling extra distracted or frazzled, I’ll use the Pomodoro technique. Basically, I set a timer for 25 minutes, and then put my head down and work without interruption until the timer goes off – no email checking (unless the task I’m working on is email!), no Instagram checking, no getting up for a snack, etc. When the timer goes off, I set another for five minutes, when I can do anything I want – stretch my legs, check my personal email, respond to text messages, etc. Then, it’s back to another 25-minute stretch, and so on and so forth. Those little distractions can really add up, and I’ve found this technique a great way to curb them.
5. I use my PowerSheets to track my goals. I generally set quarterly versus yearly goals for my role, and my PowerSheets are a great way to continually be reminded of them (which is more than half the battle for making progress!). I keep them open to my tending list on my desk – a peek at February’s below!

6. I use a social media planner for loose scheduling. Sharing on my personal platforms is part of my job, and this simple doc I designed helps me keep track of what should be said when. There’s lots of flexibility here, but it’s a helpful guide in busier seasons! If you’d like to try it yourself, you can download it here.
7. I keep a generic background image on my laptop. This might be the weirdest tip :) But I find if I have, say, a family photo as my desktop background, feelings of sadness or distraction might creep in every time I closed a window – or, at least, I’d be jolted out of one world into another. I do have framed family photos on my actual desk, and I’m not sure why I feel differently about those, but I do. My pretty sky scene is also a neutral backdrop that offers breathing space instead of adding to visual and mental clutter. (And on that note, I try to keep just 1-3 icons on my home screen at any one time, always including my To Do List Word doc :))
8. If there’s something I need to bring with me the next day, I put it in the car the night before. Guys, this is such a simple tip, but it has been huge (HUGE!!) for me. I’ll talk a bit more about getting everyone out the door in the morning in the upcoming Kiddos post, but this small step is one key. Need to bring styling items, a book, a piece of clothing, or a box to mail? They’re rounded up, walked to the garage, and placed in the car the night before. I can’t count the number of times I’ve raced around in the morning collecting things I needed for the day, or worse, gotten something ready the night before and then left it sitting on the counter. This simple habit eliminates both.

I’ll finish by adding just a few notes about Em for Marvelous organization. Even though it is not my job (I make about $15-20 per month on affiliate links, and that money goes to cover hosting and web development costs, not our mortgage!), I approach it quite seriously. Posts take at the quickest half an hour to write, and at the lengthiest, six-plus hours over multiple days. I generally write on weekday evenings after June is in bed, and sometimes while she is napping on the weekends.

The most important tool I use to stay organized is the blog planning sheet I created several years ago. This is far and away one of my most pinned posts, so I’m glad y’all have found it helpful over the years, too! My goal was to create a place to both brainstorm post ideas for each month as well as to schedule those ideas throughout the month. The top section has blank lines, and ideas get crossed off once their posts have been completed. The bottom portion is a blank calendar. I try to keep sheets for the next six months or so printed out so I can jot down season-specific ideas as they come to me.

I recently updated the PDF to include the nine most popular EFM topics (voted by y’all in my last survey!) in the brainstorming section to help me plan content that covers a wide variety of topics. I’ve loved this update, but y’all can still download the original sheet here.

I’d love to hear: What helps you stay organized at work, whatever work might look like for you? Share in the comments, if you’d like – I love learning from you all! And don’t forget to check out Nancy’s post for a business owner and all-around awesome person’s perspective. Thanks for being so wonderful, friends!

The rest of the series:
Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Lives: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Relationships: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Kids: Em’s post and Nancy’s post

Affiliate links are used in this post! Pink shirt photo by Ally & Bobby, June photo by Katelyn James, and bulletin board photo by Ally & Bobby. Do you like that I’m wearing the same shirt in two different photos from two different occasions? :)

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