Maybe due to my nature, or maybe due to my job, I love January — full stop. You can keep your memes about how it’s 1,000 days long; I’ll keep it rolling as long as possible. And this January seemed like an especially January January for me. John and I laid some foundations for the year ahead (a fresh budget, vacation plans), I dug in deep on a big project and saw some early fruit, and I introduced some tiny new habits that have already made a big difference. How can you not love January, friends?!
But all good things must come to an end – on to February!
On my calendar: — I was asked to be a mentor in a freshmen women’s leadership program at my alma mater this semester and was matched with a gal who seems just lovely. We have our first monthly call this week! — The Divine Consign kids consignment sale. I visited in the fall for the first time and – dare I say it – it *may* have had a better selection than my beloved Hayes Barton. Certainly for older kids! — My birthday! It falls on a Wednesday this year, which is one of my weekdays off. After putting my nose to the grindstone on these days all January, I’m giving myself the gift of a purely fun day during the kids’ school hours. I’ll volunteer in June’s classroom to start things off (my usual weekly slot), then might take myself to a few thrift shops (I’ve been wanting to visit Pigfish Lane), eat lunch out (maybe with friends?!), and who knows what else? I’m excited.
What I’m loving right now (friend edition!): — My friend Cherith’s incredibly-helpful small business planner, which is like a wise friend to hold your hand as you create a business plan step-by-step. I had the joy of editing it at several steps in the production process, and it’s comprehensive and delightful! — The Bear’s “Forks”. I was already planning to recommend this standalone episode (it’s the only one of the show I’ve seen!), and then my friend Pressley went and wrote this essay that perfectly encapsulates its perfection. You truly can watch it even if you know nothing about the show, and I recommend you do. — Bumble Brews Play Cafe in Raleigh. My friend Libby opened this darling space in December with her husband, and the Articles Club gals feel like we’ve been along for the small business ride – not for the faint of heart! Stop by for a delicious warm beverage and a cozy space to play with your little one (they recommend 0-6!).
Okay — one more! (And not exactly a BFF but a gal can dream.)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— Y’all! The Articles Club Guide was a favorite from January! Thank you for being excited alongside us for our little niche slice of joy :) — The sticky mini easel pad we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays — The pink mailbox we use for Valentine’s Day fun — this one is very similar — Outlive, a book that’s playing a central role in one of my 2024 goals — The Anxious Generation, a book we’ve preordered x 3 (how happy am I that two of the top five are books?)
Last month on The Connected Family:
Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.
This was an unusual month for reading! I’m stretching several books (The Great Dechurching, Outlive, and Made for People) over a longer span for various reasons, and so only have a few to report on in full. They are:
— The Vanderbeekers Make a Wish | I continue to be wowed and delighted by how Karina Yan Glaser tackles harder topics for elementary kids with warmth, gentleness, and discernment. A favorite series for sure. — The Armor of Light | Another excellent installment of the epic Kingsbridge series! Made me want to go back and read the original – maybe this summer :) — Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | June received the illustrated second installment for her eighth birthday and we whizzed through it together.
Revisiting my January goals: Kick off The Connected Family well with four weekly posts (Yes! Exceeded my expectations in every way and I’m super grateful. I was honored to earn a little orange check mark in the last week of the month, which marks a Substack bestselling publication. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!) Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts (I did not get quite as far as I was hoping, but I did complete drafts of three (out of five) posts for the month!) Complete at least 85 hours of deep work (Whew, this one kicked my tail! A learning curve for sure. I chose 85 because it’s roughly 1000 / 12, but I fell decidedly short for various reasons and amassed 35. Adjusting for February!) Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate (Inquiry sent and we also had an initial meeting. We are waiting to hear back from him on next steps but we have a lot to consider.) Begin the Bible Recap reading plan (Yes, indeed! On track and it has been great so far! We listen together while we’re getting ready for bed.) Read the first three chapters of Outlive (Done! This was greatly helped by a tip from Lara that the audiobook is available on Spotify Premium, which we already pay for.) Take the Birds and Bees course (We set a date in February!) Prep for our Valentines mailbox (Underway! It’s been fun to come up with a few new ideas this year, like making wax paper crayon suncatchers, trying out the pasta maker we were gifted and have never used (eep), and a Poppin kit from HMart.)
February goals: — Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1 — Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk, which my parents drove down from their home in Connecticut. She chose Purple Cream for the color :) — Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat — Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (which works out to about 3 hours for every weekday in February, with a little grace built in) — Write one module of the TCF course — Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive — Take the Birds & Bees course with John
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
Next week’s post is a dear and personal one for me… looking forward to sharing it with you. Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on January — or anything else you’d like to chat about!
In this month, the first of the year, my attention is narrowly focused. I am aware that the demand of writing weekly on The Connected Family for a paying audience could easily become a stressor if I don’t carefully manage it, and so here at the beginning of the year, I consciously restrained myself on almost all other goals to create the space to start strong and get ahead in this one area. It’s a bit challenging (I’m excited about every one of my goals!), but I know this short-term narrowing will give me the most peace of mind and pave the way to branch out a bit more in the months to come.
Also, while we’re talking about TCF, I thought it might be helpful to do a little expectation setting here at the start.
For the last few years, my intention has been to share two posts a week on EFM. I didn’t always realize it, but that’s been the goal! With splitting my time between two platforms, going forward I plan to share one post on EFM and one post on TCF each week. TCF will be the home for all things family culture, kids + tech, and low-screen living – a deep well, considering everything that feeds into it! EFM will hold the rest: my goals, our travels, personal finance, faith, books, home updates, recipes, etc. My signature deep thoughts will feature on both :)
While this is, theoretically, the same amount of content, I recognize that only paid subscribers will now have access to all of it, and that is a change from the past 15+ years of blogging. I’m grateful to each of you that’s able to take the leap with me on this new venture. I also understand it’s not in the cards for everyone right now for various reasons, and that there might be disappointment that comes along with that. Please know I am very grateful for you and your support, in whatever form it takes.
On my calendar: — Our 19th dativersary! We’re taking a pottery class (part of John’s Christmas present!) to celebrate. — A goals night with our church community group. They asked me to lead a little session and I’m delighted to – it’s always an interesting challenge to translate CWM’s teachings for a new (and guys + gals) audience. — June’s birthday celebrations. She chose a “day of fun” this year (versus a party), and so we’re following her lead to visit the Museum of Life and Science, have lunch at Noodles & Co, play at a ninja gym, and have her very first sleepover with her BFF.
What I’m loving right now: — As a mom who works outside the home, I loved this essay from Coffee + Crumbs – and then one of my dearest friends texted it to me saying it had struck a chord with her, too! — I recently discovered that you can buy Olive & June items at Target. Did you know this? Their cuticle serum and polish remover pots were sitting right there in my local beauty section. Both are items I use and love! (I keep the serum in my bedside table drawer to apply right before I go to bed.) — Alstroemeria. They are not, like, the most beautiful flower God ever created, but they are in every single grocery store flower bin and they last for – I kid you not – a month in a cut vase. Perfect to brighten up cold January days.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— Heavenly Hunks, and rightly so. — These stretch twill cropped pants in a faded green, one of my favorite purchases of 2023. — The delicious-smelling and effective tangle spray we use for Annie. — My daily face sunscreen! One of the products I MOST love to push on others :) — The snack box June uses for school. I bought one for Shep’s stocking but it didn’t fit, so I just set it aside for his Easter basket!
What I read in December: — The Hiding Place | Essential reading, for Christians and everyone else. The courage and moral clarity of Corrie and her family – who risked their lives to save Jews and underground workers in World War II and were sent to concentration camps for it – is frankly shocking to our modern sensibilities, but so needed. — How to Stay Married | This book was making the rounds of our community group and so I hopped on the bandwagon, too. A (true) tale of a wife’s infidelity and the havoc it wreaked on their marriage, it’s an unflinchingly honest and specific look at what contributed to drift in their marriage (on both sides) and how they fought to stay together. (And, weirdly, it’s funny.) It’s also a window into what the church and community can and must do well to help real people in the very real tragedies of their lives. — The Magician’s Elephant | June passed this Kate DiCamillo book to me after reading it and I enjoyed it! It’s a short, moody tale with poetic language and a happy ending. I’d recommend for third grade-ish.
Revisiting my December goals: Finish our 2015-2019 photo album (Not done yet but I am chugging away! I don’t have the heart to officially put it on my goals list for January, but do plan to continue working on it when I can!) Prepare well for my family’s visit See what I can do to continue to customize The Connected Family’s home on Substack (I did a little more customization but am also embracing simplicity for the moment! Banking on quality content over fancy graphics here at the start :)) Plan out content for Q1 of TCF, including brainstorming at least 100 newsletter ideas (Confirmed I will not run out of things to write about, ha!) Tackle our laundry room Tackle our downstairs linen closet Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most.
January goals: — Kick off The Connected Family well with five weekly posts — Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts — Complete at least 85 hours of deep work — Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate — Begin the Bible Recap reading plan — Read the first three chapters of Outlive — Take the Birds and Bees course — Prep for our Valentines mailbox
I also am tracking a daily habit of making kid lunches the night before in my PowerSheets, which has been going well so far!
Grateful for you, friends! Please feel free to comment on anything I’ve mentioned here or anything else on your mind!
My goals came quickly and clearly this year. That’s in part because there’s one – number 4 below – that I know will require an incredible amount of effort, diligence, heart, courage, focus, and time to get off the ground, and then continually shape and manage. My other eight goals are slotted in around it, aimed at maintaining or furthering the things that matter most to me.
This is an unusual year of goals for me. It’s more concrete, it’s more public, and it’s easily the most ambitious and challenging list I’ve set in a long while – maybe ever. I feel nervous to share that this is what I’m going after (again, looking at you, no. 4), because hitting “publish” immediately gains me many new accountability partners :)
At the same time, I feel grateful to be in a place where I can set this goal. Many years of goal setting with my PowerSheets have gotten me – and my family – to here, where we have rhythms, routines, and foundations that support what matters most to us. With those in place, it feels possible to move on this one thing that – to me – feels outrageously ambitious.
Without further ado…
1. Recover the armchairs. Let’s start with something simple and straightforward :) Our two cream armchairs, purchased in 2018, are a centerpiece of our main room. They’re comfy, they’re elegant, they’re incredibly well-made. Five years in, however, they’re also… dingy. Despite splurging for Crypton fabric at the start and diligently spot treating them over the years, the wear and tear of three small children and dark jeans, etc. has led to an overall dinginess that I can no longer deny.
So! The plan is to reupholster them in a performance velvet/microsuede/whatever our brown sofa is because that thing looks spotless after more than a decade, likely in a deep blue or soft green. While part of me is mourning the cream, I actually think another tone (and potentially a darker color) will give some more dimension to the overall room. And of course, I’m excited about us all feeling just a bit more at ease in our space.
2. Read through The Bible Recap’s yearly reading plan. The last time I read through the Bible in one go was 2010-2011. I did it on my own, with no guide or study materials, and though God’s word never returns void, let’s just say I probably didn’t get as much out of it as I could.
In 2023, John used a plan from the Bible Project to read through the Bible in a year, and it was incredibly impactful for him. (He followed along mostly on audio, which meant I caught snippets here and there throughout the year!) The BibleProject’s (free! all free!) resources are phenomenal, with great depth of knowledge delivered in a light and friendly way, flawless illustrations and videos — and always designed to point you toward Jesus no matter which book you’re reading.
My original plan was to follow the same plan in 2024, but when John expressed interest in doing another alongside me, we pivoted to The Bible Recap’s plan to give him something new to chew on. We’ve had many friends use this plan and I’m thrilled we’ll get to do it together! This goal is intimidating to me, but I also feel confident that there are few better ways I could spend my time in 2024.
3. Read through and apply Outlive. “For all its successes, mainstream medicine has failed to make much progress against the diseases of aging that kill most people: heart disease, cancer, Alzheimer’s disease, and type 2 diabetes. Too often, it intervenes with treatments too late to help, prolonging lifespan at the expense of healthspan, or quality of life. Dr. Attia believes we must replace this outdated framework with a personalized, proactive strategy for longevity, one where we take action now, rather than waiting.”
John and I bought this book soon after it came out last year, and it landed with a thump on our doorstep – it is a tome. While I’m sure we won’t agree with everything Peter says, we’re excited to work our way through it together and apply what feels right as we go, little by little. Spanning mental health, exercise, nutrition, testing, sleep, and more, I know this goal will likely spin off many action steps over the course of a year.
4. Launch The Connected Family’s audio course. From secret goal to out-in-the-open goal! While the initial forward-facing work of TCF will be delivering on my promise to Substack subscribers, behind the scenes I’ll be working away on our first major offering – an audio course for parents. Eep! (EEP!!!!!!!) This feels scary to say out loud and even scarier to consider actually launching one day, but I remind myself daily to just keep putting one foot in front of the other as I try to make something that might help people.
Speaking of which…
5. Log 1,000 hours of deep work. I read Cal Newport’s Deep Work as part of my 2023 reading list and loved it. As a writer, most of what I do for my job, my main hobby, and now my fledgling business requires me to think deeply and write eloquently. Because of this, it behooves me to aggressively protect my attention span.
Like everyone else, the siren song of a text message, Instagram, completing a quick to-do, or acting on some stray thought that pops into my mind takes effort to resist. For this goal, I’ll track my hours spent doing just that: thinking, writing, brainstorming, or researching with undivided focus. While I can’t call the hours unplugged (since many will be spent tapping away at my laptop), they might as well be.
1,000 hours over a year works out to about 2.7 hours per day, so this is, indeed, an aggressive goal (especially since I’ll log fewer on the weekends).
6. Take the Birds & Bees course with John. This was on my goal list last year and we didn’t quite get to it, though I did purchase it at a discount on Black Friday! I’m considering it healthy background for us as parents and also a case study for The Connected Family – Mary Flo and Megan appear to be doing something somewhat similar to what we hope to do, though on a totally different topic. I’m excited to learn from them in more ways than one!
7. Gut the loft. This is the one space in our home that just bedevils me. I’ve tried to make adjustments here and there over the years, and they’ve been of marginal help, but I know there things that could be done to make this more of a fun space for our kids and less of a maddening space for us parents.
I chose the word “gut” not because we’ll be doing any structural work here, but to reflect that I hope to look at the space with fresh eyes. That was a major lesson from working with a professional for our garage – she had no preconceptions for how the space could be used based on how we had been using it, and we came up with far better solutions by starting from scratch than moving things incrementally.
8. Invite friends over for 12 Sunday night pizza hangs. Our 2023 goal of inviting one family/friend over each month was a smashing success, even if we didn’t quite hit it on the nose. One set-up we ended up really liking: a Sunday night dinner on the earlier side, with takeout pizza, a big salad, and something easy for dessert. Ordering pizza for the main meal is more of a financial stretch, but for me, it almost instantly takes away all the stress of hosting – and in this season of family life, that’s worth its weight in gold. Plus, Sunday night tends to be pretty open for most people, meaning it’s easier to get a date on the books.
I am holding this goal with open hands and knowing it absolutely might evolve as the year goes on – but it feels like a great place to start!
9. Explore the idea of renovating our home. As longtime readers know, the vision for our future where I have felt the most unclear is whether we’ll stay in our home or move (locally). One outcome we’d never really considered was renovating our current home, but it popped onto our radar at the end of last year and has quickly become something we’re interested in exploring.
This goal may go no further than the inquiry stage, or we may end up with a full-blown renovation on our hands – only time will tell!
Thank you, friends. Sharing my goals here, year after year and month after month, is quite possibly the most potent factor in any progress I’ve made, so thank you, as always, for being kind, listening ears! :)
On that note, I’ll be back with my January goals post and my 2024 book list over the next few weeks. Please feel free to join in on anything I’ve written here, or let me know if there’s one of my goals that you’d love to hear more about as the year goes on! OR, tell me what YOU have planned for 2024! Have you set goals yet? I’d love to cheer you on.
Welcome to the last month of 2023, friends! I’m grateful to be here. Between Thanksgiving, the anniversary trip for my parents, the (very soft) launch of The Connected Family, a particularly sad+thrilling week with Articles Club that I hope to tell you a bit about in the future, and, last but not least, the everyday magic of writing by the light of our Christmas tree with a fun holiday weekend ahead – how could I feel anything but?
And thank you again, friends, for your warm and excited support of my new venture. I shared that my subscriber goal for this week was 50, and we’ve now topped 350 – plus several pledged subscriptions, which I truly did not expect at this point at all. I’m sure we will unpack all the feelings at some point, but suffice it to say I know that this community is a big chunk of my “new” one, and I couldn’t imagine better gals to have along for the ride. You’ll see several TCF-related goals on my list below – excited to keep you in the loop as things progress!
A quick snap of my favorite shoes at my dear friend Libby’s brand-new play cafe in Raleigh! Triangle friends with littles, you must go visit!
On my calendar: — Dinner out with John for our 2023 review and celebration. — Hosting my family for Christmas. Truly an honor (and big responsibility) to orchestrate magic for a group! — A trip to California for Christmas with John’s family. It’s been four years since we’ve been out to visit my sister- and brother-in-law and we’re excited!
What I’m loving right now: — Copyright issues notwithstanding (?), this audio track of The Grinch is fun to listen to around the Christmas tree or on a holiday road trip! H/T to my friend Bethany for unearthing it. — This little flocked Christmas tree has been sold out for years and they finally brought it back! It’s the one we have in June’s and Shep’s rooms, and this year I bought two more to flank our front door. It looks delightfully full once fluffed! — Late breaking to this year’s stocking stuffer post, but if you have Squishmallow fans in your house, this mini set is genius. I’m planning to put one in each kids’ stocking, share some with my sister, and save the rest for Easter baskets or friend birthdays throughout the year. Perfect to go in on with a friend!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
Plus lots and lots of orders for Christmas books – makes me so happy!
What I read in November: — Welcome Home | This home decorating and hosting book – based on the four seasons – was on my 2023 reading list. Though I enjoy the Nester’s style and home/decorating philosophy (and enjoy her newsletter!), this one was a DNF for me. It wasn’t offering me much new info and when I continued to reach for other titles, I knew it was time to return it to the library! — A Light in the Window | Another book in the Mitford series, the coziest story set right here in the mountains of NC. — The Wishing Game | This was a debut novel that felt a bit like a debut novel. Good, not great! It’s a sweet story but was just missing a little spark in the plot and life in the lines for me. — China Rich Girlfriend | I read the first in the trio a few years ago and when a community group friend was offering this one up, I snagged it! Again – the writing is not necessarily going to win any awards, but it was a fun, quick read that kept me turning pages.
Revisiting my November goals: Submit all passport paperwork for the kids’ passports and my renewal (Nope, absolutely no progress on this, ha!) Tackle Shep’s closet Finish writing and design the Articles Club guide and list it for sale (Very close! Just need to finish the design!) Finish our 2015-2019 photo album (Determined to finish this in December!!) Design and order our Christmas card and newsletter Edit Sheptember, Volume 5 (Halfway done!)
December goals: — Finish our 2015-2019 photo album (gotta do it, it’s one of my 2023 goals! ;)) — Prepare well for my family’s visit. With such a large group, I’ve learned that advance (somewhat intense) planning is key to being able to fully enjoy our time together. Rereading my own post from last year to brush up! — See what I can do to continue to customize The Connected Family’s home on Substack – it is pretty bare bones currently! — Plan out content for Q1 of TCF, including brainstorming at least 100 newsletter ideas — Tackle our laundry room… — …and our downstairs linen closet, the very last space to complete my 2023 goal! — Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most. Even to me this sounds somewhat trite, but also the best way I know to celebrate the arrival of a tiny baby king who did the same.
Wishing you the merriest December, friends! Please feel free to comment on anything I’ve mentioned here, or anything else on your mind.
