Today’s post is just the tiniest hack, but one that’s made a big difference over the years in making the most of my clothing budget. Here it is: at several points in the year, I’ll review my purchases and consider whether they were money well spent — or not.
To back up a bit: like everyone, I don’t want to waste money on clothing. I want to feel great about what I buy, whether it’s a steal-of-a-deal thrift find or a highly-anticipated splurge. I don’t want new purchases to sit in the closet, gathering dust, either because of the material, the style, how they fit, or how they sit on my body. I want to love what’s in my closet and feel good about any money I’ve spent!
But, also like everyone else, I don’t always get it right. Sometimes I think I’ll wear something, but it never ends up being what I reach for — maybe the style feels impractical, the material isn’t comfortable, or I just don’t have the right place to wear it. Occasionally, I’ll get suckered in by a sale price. Occasionally, I’ll make a bet on a final sale piece that doesn’t pay off.
For me, pausing every so often to review my purchases helps me make better decisions in the future. My process is simple: around the turn of fall (late enough in the year that earlier purchases have had a chance to settle!), I’ll open up our budget doc and click to the clothing budget tab. There, I can see every purchase I’ve made this year, laid out plainly in front of me.
(If you don’t keep as detailed a budget as ours, this might be a little trickier — but you could still do a similar audit in your closet! Physically pull out the pieces you purchased in the last few months for consideration.)
Then, I’ll go line by line and highlight the items in green that have felt like great buys: I wear them, I’ve washed them, I love them. I’m so happy I spent money on them.
This, of course, lays bare the items that don’t get highlighted. Though it can be a little painful, I take a look at each line: what about it is holding it back from getting highlighted? Is it the price I paid? Is it the item itself? What insight can I tuck away that might keep me from making the same mistake in the future?
And… that’s it! I’ll do the same thing at the end of the year before I switch to the next year’s budget doc, marking up any purchases made in the last quarter. It’s quick, I try not to beat myself up about misses, but it’s really helpful for me to stop and look for what’s working and what’s not so that I’m not just spending, spending, spending, adding, adding, adding.
To close, here are just a few examples in each category from this year so far:
In the green category:
— These raffia ballet flats. I spent about $150 on them but they’re comfortable, they filled a need in my closet, and I’ve worn them all spring and summer. (And hey, if you like them, you can get them for wayyyyyy less than I paid – ouch, ha!)
— This striped pullover. (They don’t have my exact colorway, but this is the style!) I bought this in person on a whim this spring, and I hesitated over the price (a little under $100) – I hadn’t walked into the shop expecting to buy something like this! But, in looking over the list, this has been my absolute favorite thing I’ve bought this year and I wear it as often as possible. Absolutely worth it.
— A white v-neck tee and a white gauze shirt from Quince. Total workhorses in my wardrobe. I wear both of them most weeks and will year round. And at just $60 for both, a great deal.
— A magenta rain jacket. The rain jacket I’d had for years went missing last year, so I’d been casually on the hunt for a new one. I spotted this one in-store when I was looking for something else and took a gamble on such a bold color. It’s been the nicest splash of color on dreary days and I’m happy I bought it every time I put it on, even though that’s not that often.
And now for a few misses:
— A floral cap-sleeve top I bought from Tuckernuck on final sale. I have worn it once or twice, but probably wouldn’t have bought it if I could have tried it on in person – it’s just a little too fussy for me. And at $75, this one hurts.
— A teal and white striped long-sleeve tee from Alice Walk, also on final sale. While it’s so soft and I like the colors, the round neck is a tad high in a way I don’t love, so I don’t reach for it as often as I thought I would.
— An olive green dress from J.Crew. I did try this one on in-person, and I do like wearing it. But again, it’s a little fussy in the way it lays, so it’s not particularly easy to throw on, so I haven’t worn it much. If I had paid less for it I probably wouldn’t mind so much, but the $100 price tag makes it feel like more of a regret.
There are a few more in each category, but that gives you a taste! And hopefully, you can see how it’s easier to spot patterns that I can use in the future once I sort things into categories.
Your turn! I’d love to hear what your favorite clothing purchase of 2024 has been so far. And, if you’re feeling brave, maybe a miss, too :)
In somewhat surprising news, I’m happy with the way my face looks.
I say surprising, because, as of this week, I am 37, and drawing ever-closer (or perhaps I’m already there?) to the age where panic over the visible signs of aging often sets in. But I don’t feel panicked. In fact, I feel rather pleased. This seems worthy of exploration, and so I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit lately. Shall we explore together?
Here’s why I think I’m content so far with the aging process, and with my particular face — some reasons practical, and some more philosophical.
1. My skin looks objectively better than it did when I was younger. I had some acne in high school and despaired of bumpy, flaky skin on my forehead through much of my twenties. Over time, I’ve learned more about my skin and found products that work for me. (In case you’re wondering, I’d say only two have made an immediate, highly-noticeable difference: this charcoal soap, which evens out my oily/dry skin (I’ve been using it since 2017!), and this toner, which completely got rid of the forehead flakiness and smoothed out my skin overall (in the rotation since 2019).)
When you remember what things used to be like, it’s easy to be grateful for where you are now.
2. The signs of aging my skin does show are palatable to me. I have some serious laugh lines around my eyes. They truly don’t bother me at all – I see them as evidence of a joy-filled life with lots of reasons to smile. Other than that, I think my skin looks… kind of the same as it always has? I attribute this 100% to genetics, fanatical daily use of sunscreen since I was in college, and a penchant for wearing big hats when I’m spending time in the sun. Thank you, mid-aughts magazines, for drilling this into my head.
3. I am frugal. John and I are highly-motivated savers and givers, and I don’t have a ton of extra spending money lying around. Because of my frugality, more invasive (a.k.a. expensive!) procedures have always felt off the table — and so I don’t spend time researching them or analyzing before and after photos or even considering what’s possible. I’ve also never met with a consultant who told me all the things that could be improved, so it’s easier to be content with what I have. Ignorance is bliss :)
4. The faces I look at most are aging naturally. And many of them are the people I admire most. That’s in part because they’re mostly faces in the real world with me, not faces on a screen. My friends and family and the women at school pick-up and soccer and church and in my neighborhood are who I have for companions and comparison, not the cream of the internet.
I also read a lot about how social media, with its filters and ring lights and editing apps, is not realistic. This has inoculated me against the idea that online perfection is something to strive for; instead, I assume it’s artificially enhanced and move on.
5. I’m largely protected from ageism. The world can be a cruel place. I’ve had the same job for 15 years, and for most of that I’ve had only women colleagues. I don’t have to routinely get up in front of a boardroom of men, I’m not in sales, and I don’t often find myself in professional settings where I’m judged on my looks. Ageism and prejudice based on beauty is a real thing, but it’s just not a thing I’ve had to deal with.
6. Beauty has never been my foremost characteristic. To be clear: I could name plenty of things I wish were different about my face. It used to sting when other people’s looks were complimented more than mine, but now I’m grateful for it. From my teenage years, it right-sized my expectations: if I wasn’t expected to be “the pretty one,” it was okay that my skin wasn’t perfect and my face was only “good enough.” And it hurts a lot less to see something degrade or be less valued over time if it’s not something you hold dear.
7. And yet, a good, good man finds me beautiful. And he tells me that often. What more could I want or need?
8. Still, I don’t believe my beauty is a measure of my worth or value. This is beautifully rooted in my Christian faith. What makes me worthy is that I am made in the image of God, as we all are — and that never changes or fades. No matter my age or how I feel about the body God gave me, my value is secure.*
9. I tend to recognize the good old days when they’re here. I won’t look back in twenty years and wish I had appreciated how I looked. I know I have it good right now, which makes the idea of fixing what I have… kind of silly.
10. I am so grateful to be alive. I am grateful to age alongside my husband and children. And aging has a physical component. In this world, that’s just how it is.
This feels like a risky post to write. It could easily be misunderstood or misconstrued, or maybe I’ll look in the mirror in 10, or 20, or 30 years and feel quite differently. But I have achieved a measure of peace in this area of my life that spills out into so many others, and if there’s something about how I’ve gotten here that might be helpful to someone else, I want to share it — because there’s not many other people who will. At the risk of sounding like a conspiracist, a message of contentment in imperfection is not one that many online voices are incentivized to share, since it doesn’t really sell anything (except maybe sunscreen!).
So! I hope you receive this with the heart with which it was intended, and please do chime in with any thoughts of your own. I look forward to reading them!
I had actually prepped the chocolate chip cookie recap earlier this week, but after the feedback on gift guide timing, I figured I’d swap this one in instead! (No worries – the cookies will be making their way to a blog near you soon!) You all were VERY enthusiastic about the idea of gift guides, which I love – we all want to delight our people with thoughtful gifts! Today, I’m sharing a few things on my personal wish list, as well as a few other items I own and love that you might want to add to yours. Let’s go!
On my wish list:
—A new set of mixing bowls | The glass set of 7 bowls we took with us when we moved to North Carolina is down to three. This pretty set would be even better for all the little bakers joining me in the kitchen these days. (There’s also this set of 3 in a similar lovely green!)
— The sweetest library bag | We visit at least every other week, and our arms are always overflowing.
— A cozy blanket | It’s hard to choose from all of their patterns, but I think my favorite is the Harbor Herringbone in Cornflower. Use code HOLIDAY20 for 20% off.
— A fun tennis bag | Could double for pickle ball, too :)
— Shearling slippers | At hours-of-wear, this item of clothing would probably clock in at the top of my wardrobe – they’re my go-to from when I walk in the door to hopping into bed. My current pair has multiple holes after several years, so it’s time for a replacement.
— Sneakers | I desperately need new sneakers for actual athletic pursuits! Everywhere I turn it seems people are wearing On Clouds – thoughts? Any others to recommend?
— White dinner plates | We have 8 dinner plates in our everyday white china from our wedding registry, and I’d love to add four more. With Articles Club and hosting family, they’d all get used!
— Joggers | I don’t actually own a pair of joggers?! How is this possible in 2023? I’ve heard nothing but good things about these ones – I like the navy heather, lake heather, or stormy heather colors!
— The prettiest white sweater | The embroidery! The daisies! The white-on-white! Gah, I love it.
— Liberty track shorts | Divine. I have to ask for these as a gift because I’d never be able to choose a pattern on my own.
And now, here are a few things I own and love that I think are worthy of adding to your wish list – or considering for your loved ones!
Clothing:
— A wool coat in a fun color | My parents generously gifted a version of this coat to me last year (in punchy pink!), and it is SO fun to wear! This season’s green is gorgeous. — A tennis dress | One of my favorite new things I tried this year was taking tennis lessons, and I wore this dress (in green) almost every time. The dark periwinkle color is really pretty, too. — A soft, chunky sweater | I bought this on Black Friday last year and it is one of my favorite things in my closet. It’s easy (and so comfortable!) to wear, but looks really refined. The green is so good! — Clementine shorts | Made for athletic pursuits but they look cute enough to wear out and about with a tee. My favorite colors right now are the Zinnia, Rosewood, and Pistachio. — Kule tee | My favorite striped tee. I have the Classic in cream and navy, but it reads black and white to me. — Summersalt swim suit | I have the Sidestroke and the Oasis and I LOVE them both. I would order up at least one size, as I think they run small. Very fun one-pieces and they’re always getting compliments from other mamas at the pool! — Lake Pajamas | It’s been approximately five years since I’ve worn any other pajamas (and in fact, still wear my original pair!). I wear the long-longs year-round and they feel so cool and silky. (And you know I have my sights on a holiday pattern!)
Shoes and Accessories:
— Maylis shoes | I own and adore the Ella heels (in cream) and the Catherine loafers (in Maylis blue). Both pairs are comfortable, beautiful, well-made, and required almost no breaking in. Still in awe one of my bestest friends has seen a dream come to life in this company! — Tree Skippers | These shoes are incredibly comfortable and cute to wear with everything – dresses, shorts, jeans. Just make sure to wear no-show socks with them, as they are a bit prone to holes. — Ugg Classic Mini II Bootie | I was dubious about adding these to my wish list a few years ago, but I am fully converted. Priceless for staying warm in the winter, especially with walking June to school and hanging with friends and neighbors outdoors. — Hunter Play Rain Boots | I used to own tall Hunter boots and almost never wore them, because they were uncomfortable and hard to take on and off. I received the shorter version for Christmas a few years ago and ADORE them! Perfect for rainy walks and school pick-ups. — Julie Vos Penelope Demi Studs | I wear these 99% of days. Classic pearl studs with the loveliest gold-rim upgrade.
This post is already long, so I’ll save the non-clothing ideas – many of which feel more fitting for gifting to others – for early next week! I also have posts in the hopper for grown-up and kid stocking stuffers as well as everyone’s favorite post: what we’re actually giving our kids this year! AND, I’m going to try something new for the much-requested Yoto review – stay tuned! :)
I’m a guest on the Cultivate podcast episode that dropped yesterday. It was a good conversation, about helping kids to cultivate what matters, but what I wanted to draw out here was the tip I offered at the top of the episode, about kids’ shoes. Kids’ shoes can be a giant headache. Our family, however, has figured out some easy ways to calm the crazy, and I thought we could talk about them today – perhaps just in time to make a few changes before the beginning of the school year! :)
First and most importantly, our kids have very few pairs of shoes compared to what I perceive to be normal in other families. In fact, they pretty much have just two pairs of shoes each:
— One pair of Natives — One pair of sneakers
Let’s talk about this a bit more.
One pair of Native Jeffersons. While I thought Natives looked like something aliens would wear when I first saw them, I acclimated quickly, because there’s a lot to like about them. They’re sturdy, they can be worn in the water, they count as close-toed for school and other scenarios that require it. They can be worn to run and jump but also are just sleek enough to be worn for most middling formal occasions. They can be brightened up with a quick scrub with a Magic Eraser.
Living in North Carolina, our kids wear Natives almost year-round (though obviously, not in the height of winter). They wear them to church. They wear them to school. They wear them to play outside.
When they outgrow a pair, we order the next size up. Shep (5) almost exclusively gets the “Regatta” color. For June (7), I’ll choose 5-6 colors that appeal to me and that I think she’ll also like, and then let her make the final decision. (Because these are worn almost daily with all sorts of outfits, I don’t feel one bit bad about not letting her choose particularly loud or garish patterns.) Annie (2) has worn hand-me-downs so far :)
One pair of sneakers. Sneakers are worn for active play, gym day, in the winter, and pretty much whenever else they want. Because we don’t keep a pair of fashion sneakers as well as athletic sneakers, I try to choose a pair that appeals to me aesthetically while also fulfilling its athletic purpose – and I don’t mind spending more on these since we only have one pair at a time. With the ages of our kids, we’ve opted for velcro over laces so far.
Speaking of cute – do I think kids shoes are adorable? Yes.
Do I sometimes wish my kids had sliiiightly fancier shoes to wear with a dressier outfit? Yes.
But those are pretty much the only negatives I can think of, and they’re dwarfed by the benefits of streamlining our shoe life:
There are fewer shoes to research, purchase, keep track of, maintain, and store. (This all takes time!!)
Having fewer choices simplifies our mornings and every other time we need to get out the door.
There are very few power struggles over what shoes to wear when.
Everyone can put on their own shoes.
We spend less money.
Let’s talk about other shoes, though, since they do have a few additional pairs:
Rain boots | Since Natives can be worn in the water and our climate is warmer, I generally do not purchase rain boots. My sister generously passes pairs down, so we often have pairs the kids can wear if needed.
Snow boots | Same. We have some from my sister, but this is definitely not an item I would make sure my kids have a pair of at the beginning of each winter.
Fancy shoes | We buy these on an as-needed basis – they are not something we keep in stock for each kid at each size. If there’s an event (wedding, Christmas Eve, performance, dance, etc.) that requires it, then we buy in the size they need. Occasionally we get fancy hand-me-downs, too :)
Salt Water sandals | I used to buy each child a pair of these at the beginning of summer, but have gotten away from it because they just didn’t wear them enough to justify the price. I absolutely ADORE the look and we do still have several pairs that fit various people, but these are no longer an automatic buy.
All of these “extra” shoes are stored in June’s closet upstairs, ready to pull out as needed. This keeps them out of the flow of daily life, but accessible as needed.
So where are the rest of the shoes stored? Why, in the shoe basket, of course!
All of the kids’ current shoes are stored in a wire basket by our front door.
They’re right where we need them and it’s a super-easy storage system for the kids to follow (although somehow it still takes reminders to get them to follow it…). Socks for all three kids are stored in our bedroom, which is on the first floor and just around the corner from the front door. (Even if your bedroom is not on the first floor, I’d highly encourage you to find somewhere to store socks on the first floor. I can’t imagine having to send a kid upstairs every time they needed to put on socks!)
In closing, I’ll say that as much as I love this system and it’s working well for us now, I know it won’t work forever. Kids will grow, their shoes will get bigger, their needs might change, they might have more opinions about their footwear. This is the continual puzzle of family life – to be aware of when a system is no longer working, and to be willing to release it and find something new.
I would love to hear if there’s something you keep unusually simple in your family, or a storage hack you’d like to share with the group. I have another one coming up in my next post that several friends have adopted – I think it’s a good one :)
