This is my tenth year-in-review post. My first came in 2012, which was certainly a good year to start: it was the year we were married, the official beginning of the life of our family. Each year together since has held its share of joys and pleasures, sadness and disappointments. Looking back in intentional ways – marking the time with reflections like these – has helped me to take what I can from each year, to appreciate what it had to offer, to learn what it had to give, to acknowledge the hard and appreciate the good.
I read recently that our lives are what we give our attention to. These posts are my way of giving a little attention to the year of my life I just lived. Thank you, as always, for indulging me!
We kicked off the year by celebrating our best six year old with a day trip to the beach – it’s not often we get to celebrate a January birthday with 70-degree weather! Annie tried solid food for the first time, we got enough snow to go sledding, and we persevered through ridiculously-low temps for an outside Articles Club in the midst of another COVID wave. On the blog, I shared my 2022 goals and reading list as well as our top ten meals of 2021, thanks to my record-keeping neuroses.
In February, the COVID wave crested in our house when our littlest brought it home from daycare and we all fell one by one. Thankfully, our cases were mild, but we suffered through the awful cascade all working parents know well, of sick kids and sick parents, and days missed from school and work. We did manage to make some cute valentines in the midst of it, though :)
March saw our triumphant return to Duke Gardens after COVID restrictions were lifted, and that visit was emblematic of spring springing as a whole: my camera roll shows lots of time outside this month! March was also the month I surprised John with tickets to see Nate Bargatze, a date night that tickled me to no end. On the blog, I shared about our first weekend away as a family of five (to Black Mountain!) and the other names we considered for our children (I think this post might win for most comments of the year!).
April was a delight, and many of its pleasures were captured in our first filming of Annie in April: strawberry picking, a return to Jekyll Island for spring break, seeing our beloved babysitter in her senior year musical, a spring flower party, celebrating Easter with our church. John also buzzed his hair for the first time and Cultivate’s acquisition talks began, both momentous in their own way.
In May we finally made good on two Christmas gifts: an overnight girls’ trip to the American Girl store in Charlotte, and a train trip to Durham! Annie was dedicated at our church, Shep had his first playdate ever with his very best friend, and – in less exciting news – the drive belt on our Telluride failed, kicking off a six-week period without our family car. On the blog, I shared six favorite parts of my evening routine.
Off to the mountains! We celebrated ten years of camping with the Rays in glamping style, a highlight of the year. I got to volunteer at June’s field day before wrapping up her first year (and beginning her first summer) of elementary school. Kristin and I assisted Lisa for the day at her big Maylis shoot and I spoke about “everyday magic” to a hundred local moms. We celebrated Juneteenth with a visit to Hammocks Beach State Park, a local treasure that had been on our NC bucket list since we moved here. And on the last day of the month, Cultivate officially changed hands.
July was bookended with trips: first to Michigan, with 33 Thomas family members and Annie’s first birthday, and then to Maine, with a Sunday service led by me. Both were as golden as always (it was nearly impossible to narrow down these photos). In between, we tucked in birthday peach cobbler for John, a camping-themed birthday party for Shep, and Cultivate’s biggest photo shoot of the year. Unsurprisingly with all that action, I eked out just two blog posts in addition to my monthly goals, including my mid-year goals review.
With the tail end of our trip to Maine and a week in Connecticut, my camera roll was almost entirely blue and green in August. Looking back on the photos, I can’t believe I didn’t name the week in Maine one of my favorite trips of the year – it was packed with such sweet memories. And Connecticut, with a visit to my family’s farm and a particularly memorable date night in Mystic, wasn’t far behind. We also bought paddle boards and took them for their inaugural spin before we celebrated the first day of school. In the midst of it all, this was by far my most challenging month at work as we weathered some of the rockiest aftermath of the acquisition. (I also transitioned to part-time, which was unrelated.)
On the blog, I shared my first year baby gear picks after three kids (I promise part two is coming in 2023!).
September! Work finally kicked off on our kitchen refresh (in the works since January!); the first phase happened while John and I were in Mexico (notBermuda). Our tenth-anniversary trip was a forever memory we are so grateful for. Around the edges, we moved things in and out of our kitchen cabinets and enjoyed a really awesome soccer season for the older kids. On the blog, I wrote about family movie night and how we handled summer as two working parents.
Sickness struck again in October, as June, I, and John fell in succession to the flu. Absolutely brutal. Thankfully, the two littles, who had already gotten their flu shots because of when their well-checks fell, stayed strong! (Let this be a lesson to us all to get our flu shots early and often ;)) On a positive note, our kitchen refresh crossed the finish line (praise!) and our mountain trip to Highlands was a delight. On the blog, I shared everything we read in Articles Club this year as well as part one of my working part-time series.
We celebrated a (chilly!) major milestone for our church in November; this felt like the sweetest cap to our first year in the community. We headed to Virginia for Thanksgiving with the whole Thomas crew for a turkey trot, lots of card games, and cousin time, then snagged our tree on the way home. A few days later, Annie and I spent much of the Duke Chorale Christmas concert outside, since she could not hang in an echo-y chapel :)
I ramped things up on the blog towards the end of the year, sharing parts two and three of my work series (part four was in December) and what to include in a college care package.
December, like much of this year, was full. Honestly, when I detailed month after month for this post, the pace felt somewhat relentless – I had several moments where I had to double-check dates to make sure all that I was describing actually happened in the same month. The most beautiful thing, though? The pace of our life almost never felt relentless in the moment. Usually, it felt rather slow, ordinary, and yes, full. For that, among so many other things, I am grateful.
Friends, I know I’ve said it before, but I am SO excited for what we’ll discuss here in 2023. Thank you for being here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. My 2023 goals are just about ready to share, so I’ll see you soon! :)
By now, most of you are probably aware that our tenth-anniversary trip was rerouted at the last minute. With a hurricane bearing down on Bermuda, we booked new flights and accommodations less than 24 hours (!) before departing for Mexico (!) in a grand pivot. Though it was a stressful few days leading up to the trip, it all worked out wonderfully: for our scrambling, we were rewarded with five days of relaxing, enjoying each other’s company, reminiscing, and casting vision for our next ten years of marriage in our own mini marriage summit. It was a true gift. I’d love to tell you about it and share a few photos today!
Before we get to the fun, though, let’s do a brief recap of the stress, ha. Those may look like two happy faces on an airplane to paradise, and they were, but in the week leading up this moment things weren’t quite so happy. About a week before we were due to depart, we began watching the weather (as one does). John also began tracking the weather on various websites and apps (as he does, amateur weatherman that he is). And what did we see? A hurricane headed straight for Bermuda. No worries, we thought: surely the track will change in the next seven days. So every day we checked, and every day… it remained resolutely headed for our island. Five days out… four days out… three days out… still headed straight for Bermuda.
We began to feel more and more nervous. At some point, one of us suggested something about how maybe we should consider alternative options…? To which the other probably said something like, no way! Really? No, we probably don’t need to. Nah…….. but the track continued to not change, and the hour of our departure inched ever closer.
About 48 hours out, we agreed that continuing with our trip to Bermuda was not a viable option for us. The hurricane was scheduled to directly hit the island the day before our departure back to the U.S., and we felt we couldn’t risk getting stuck on the island for days with no power or water and our kids back home. We considered postponing the trip, but agreed we’d rather go forward with a trip of some sort since we had both taken the time off work and my parents had cleared their schedules to watch our kids.
(Side note: We had purchased travel insurance, since we were traveling in hurricane season. However, Bermuda needed to be under a hurricane watch or warning for our insurance to activate. This was challenging, since the hurricane was supposed to hit toward the end of our trip, and watches/warnings are generally only issued 24-48 hours before landfall. We had to make the decision to rebook our flight and accommodations before knowing we would receive a reimbursement for our Bermuda itinerary, which was unnerving, financially.)
With that decision made, John dove into research mode and began obsessively searching for a new destination: somewhere warm, a short and easy plane flight away, and not in a hurricane’s path. Though he considered many destinations, including domestic options, he quickly narrowed in on Mexico, and then Banyan Tree Mayakoba. I wish I could tell you all the details and what about it stuck out to him – it was not on our radar at all before this week – but he handled all of the research and most of the decision-making. I glanced at a few photos before giving it my thumbs up and hopping on the phone to book our room.
And then 24 hours later, we were there! We drove the two hours to Charlotte, then hopped on a 2.5-hour flight to Cancun. (Everything everyone says about flying sans-children being its own vacation is entirely true. Though we were still winding down from the stress and adrenaline of changing our plans and getting out the door, just sitting in the airport reading a magazine and not managing little people was incredibly relaxing!)
But of course, that was only our first taste of what was to come. After making our way through the bewildering gauntlet of taxi drivers at the airport door, we found the driver we’d booked through the resort and made the 40-minute drive to Mayakoba.
The view from the lobby in the main building. Cello is off to the left and breakfast was served to the right.
Once we stepped on property, we never stepped off until we headed back to the airport. We might have done things differently if we had had more time to plan, but we didn’t feel like we were missing anything by staying in place. Mayakoba is a beautiful and unique property. It’s a large natural preserve of mangrove forest set next to the ocean, with canal waterways crisscrossing the property. The rooms are spread out around the acreage, with some at the main building in the heart of the jungle and others near the ocean (our room was on the beach – an oceanfront veranda pool suite). Our room came with bikes to move around the expansive property and our rate included breakfast, too.
It also included fresh salsa, guacamole, and lime-y margaritas as we signed our check-in paperwork, which is a very direct route to my heart.
The margaritas may have made the cost go down easier, too. Because of course, this trip was a splurge – though one we had planned for, saved for, and felt incredibly grateful to experience. The view from our room alone was an embarrassment of riches.
The funny thing about our grand pivot was that in the end, we actually got a more luxurious vacation than we had originally planned: Bermuda is just a generally expensive locale, and we were already planning to splurge there. When we rerouted our budget to Mexico, a much less expensive location, it went further. We soaked up every minute. There are lots of things our money has to go to, but when John and I think about the money we get to spend, there are few things more worthy of celebrating than ten years of marriage to a best friend.
At top is the pool at the Sands Beach Club, close to our room. Below is the pool at the main building.
After exploring our room, we headed out to the beach. We swam in the ocean. We took a dip in our pool. We lounged by the resort pool. We rode bikes around the property. We had more chips and guacamole and margaritas.
It turned out it was totally fine that we hadn’t made any reservations or plans: we were perfectly happy to spend our days with no agenda, moving from one body of water to another.
We anchored our days with big breakfasts at the buffet in the main building and with dinner at one of the restaurants on-property. That buffet, man. We actually had the option each day of a plated breakfast at the beach restaurant near us or the buffet breakfast, and once we had the buffet we never sampled the plated breakfast, ha!
Walking to dinner the first night at the Sands Beach Club
For dinner, the concierge helped us make reservations for the first three nights when we arrived, and then we returned to our favorite on the fourth and final night. We had our choice of times and locations throughout our stay: we were lucky that we were traveling in something of the off-season (September – December and January are their busiest months), so nothing ever felt crowded. In fact, we were often the only couple at the resort pool. Most of the other guests were attending a luxury travel conference, and were in seminars or off-property during the day.
We tried almost all of the on-property restaurants throughout our stay. We had dinner the first night at the Sands Beach Club, a beachfront spot a short walk from our room, which specialized in seafood and local Yucatan flavors.
The second night we ate at Cello, an open-air Italian restaurant in the main property. Cello overlooked the canal that flowed through the main building, and it was so beautiful to watch the boat moving in and out lit by lanterns and candles.
This photo of Saffron is the only one that’s not mine – my photos just didn’t capture the magic!
Our third and fourth nights we ate at Saffron – it was so magical that we immediately knew we needed to return for our final dinner. Built on floating docks over the water, it was an experience.
The Thai food was delicious, yes, but everything from how we were greeted, to the service, to the setting, was just so special. Probably the most magical dining experience we’ve ever had.
This is as good a time as any to mention the service: it was phenomenal – from top to bottom – throughout our stay. The entire staff was so warm and kind, professional, quick to help with anything we needed and eager to make our stay wonderful, especially when they heard it was our anniversary.
One other element I need to mention that added to the magic: our favorite way to move around the resort was actually via the canals, in a boat that ferried us between the beach club and the main property via mangrove-draped canals. For free! We took the boat to and from dinner every evening and it was so lovely.
I mentioned that we didn’t go off-property, and that’s true, but we did have a few adventures on-property.
We rode our bikes on miles of path, we ducked down into a small cenote in the jungle (not one open for swimming), we tried to get close to the little racooon-like animals (coatis!) all over the property, we visited the village center shared with neighboring resorts, and we rented hydro bikes one afternoon for a guided tour through the canals. It was just the two of us and our guide, who told us all about his work as a free diver mapping the hundreds of Riviera Maya cenotes. The water was crystal clear and John was thrilled to see a crocodile.
In addition to these adventures, eating, and relaxing, we had one other priority: our marriage summit. As soon as we decided we were going on this trip, I knew I wanted to use some of our time away to reflect on the past ten years together, and vision cast and dream for the next ten. John and I have realized that our happiness in marriage is fueled in part by gratitude for what we have as well as our shared passion for looking forward with excitement and intention. I knew this was a chance to indulge in both that we could not pass up.
Our summit was nothing fancy, but it was a delight: the quality of the experience was directly related to the conversation and our desire to engage in it, not anything complicated we had planned. To prepare, I spent some time brainstorming a few questions before we left. I wrote each question at the top of a page in a thin notebook; we carried it with us around the resort.
We tackled 2-3 questions a day, while lounging by the pool or the beach or at a meal. Sometimes I’d sit and write while we talked, and sometimes I’d read the question and then we’d talk about it while we waded in the ocean or swam in the pool (and then I’d capture some of what we talked about on the page once we were dry). Some questions were fairly simple to answer, while others generated more than an hour of discussion.
An important note: these questions were designed to help us celebrate God’s goodness in our last ten years of marriage. We were not using this time to problem-solve or give constructive criticism or workshop an issue. Those things are important, and all have their place in our life together, but this was not it, ha. This was meant to be a joy.
I loosely grouped the questions into past, present, and future. Here are some of the questions we used:
THE PAST — What are some of our favorite adventures, trips, meals, and moments from the last 10 years? — Where have we seen God be gracious to us? — What are our keys to a happy marriage?
THE PRESENT — What are our family core values? Our mission statement?
THE FUTURE — What milestones will we mark in the next 10 years? — What adventures do we want to have in the next 10 years? — How do we want to be generous in the next 10 years? — What do we want to be part of our weekly, monthly, or annual rhythms?
The questions that ended up being our favorites to discuss were the keys to our happy marriage and the ways we want to be generous in our life together. I know everyone’s personalities and relationships are different, but I highly recommend trying something like this if you can create time away on a milestone anniversary. The questions themselves and the conversation they generated were wonderful, but just layering them into our days added such a unique and memorable element to our trip. I am so grateful.
And there you have it! A marvelous way to mark a truly marvelous decade of marriage. The decade itself would have been enough, but we are so grateful to have been able to mark it in this way. If you have any questions about our trip or summit or anything else, I’d be happy to help! Thank you, as always, for coming along for the ride!
It was so, so, so good to be back at the Island this summer. It always is, but after missing a visit in 2021 (my first ever, due to Annie’s summer birthday), our time up north was even sweeter than usual. Just like a childhood best friend, we picked up right where we left off. Even better? We followed our week in Maine with a week in Connecticut, staying with John’s parents!
Readers who have been around for awhile know that the pattern of these visits doesn’t change much from year to year — we take lots of walks, play lots of games, read lots of books, spend time with some of our favorite people — but the beauty and goodness of our surroundings is fresh every year. Here are a few snaps from this trip, if you’d like to see!
That first lungful of salty breeze and that first morning wake up on-island… nothing like it.
One of my favorite moments of the trip came early on: I delivered my Sundayservice the day after we arrived. A little background: each week during the summer season, a volunteer Islander leads the Sunday evening service. Though rooted in Christianity and still with many of the trappings of the faith (church bell, hymnals, etc.), each leader chooses the content of their service, and right now, most choose a secular message. While I love every iteration of these services (they are one of my favorite parts of Island life!) I knew I wanted to deliver a Gospel message that served as the aroma of Christ to those I got to address, and I spent much time preparing my service in the month leading up to our trip.
Surprising absolutely no one who reads this blog, my message was about the power of narratives – which ones we believe, why they matter, how they shape our lives. It seemed like it was well received by Christians and non-Christians alike, for which I am very grateful. This was the third service I’ve led here, and I hope it will not be my last.
Above: the flowers I picked from a neighbor’s garden, the arrangement I made for the service, the sweet yellow meeting house (used for church and other community events!), and the birthday boy blowing out his candles after church. Love him so!
The older kids had (very informal) tennis lessons a few afternoons, and since the courts are a short walk up the hill from one of our cottages, Kim busted out some margaritas for the spectators. I can assure you our island is decidedly on the non-bougie end of the Maine fanciness scale, but we enjoyed playing the part for a day :)
What we lack in status we certainly make up for in natural beauty. For a two-mile-long island, she has more than her fair share of beautiful corners. It’s no wonder June declared “playing in the woods with cousins at the Island” one of her favorite memories from the summer at our back-to-school dinner, though it still made my heart swell to hear it.
One more highlight: every few years we take the kids to the Coastal Maine Botanical Gardens. It is an absolute gem, always, but this year, they had the coolest exhibit of gigantic wooden troll sculptures. Just stunning and so fun for the kids to interact with. Highly recommend a visit if you’re ever in the midcoast Maine area!
One of the most poignant parts of our visit was being with my grandmother. She is 95 years old, and though vital in many ways, has also had some health setbacks in the last few years. Watching her get to be in a beloved place with the people she loves was so wonderful. Watching the tender care and attention (mostly on the part of my parents and aunts) to facilitate her being there was also wonderful, and sobering and thought-provoking. It made me want to reread this stunning and loving book (which, if you have not already read it, please drop everything and do so right now).
I’ll end with this. One of my favorite newer experiences on the Island is taking the kids down to a particular rocky point to watch the sunset. We’ve done this a few nights each visit for the last few years. The changing colors over the water, the moon rising, the adults perching on the rocks warmed by a day of sun while the kids throw pebbles into the water… it is magic. It’s also not something I grew up doing, and I like knowing there are still new ways to enjoy our special place waiting to be revealed. We are lucky, indeed.
Then it was on to Connecticut! I have far fewer photos from our second week in New England, because John and I both worked remotely for most of the week while his parents pal-ed around with our kids. While we worked, they went in the pool multiple times a day; rode bikes and scooted on their long, shaded driveway; took walks; read books; and played a lot of Wii Sports, ha. And like an absolute angel, John’s Mom had breakfast, lunch, and dinner in front of us each time we emerged. It was more than we deserved!
A few highlights:
A date night at Shipwright’s Daughter, a new-to-us restaurant in downtown Mystic. Aside from the novelty of being able to have grandparents babysit (something we very rarely get to enjoy, living far from our families), we agreed that there was something particularly magical about having this new experience (new restaurant, going on a date as grown-ups with three small children) layered over so many other memories in this place. We went on many Mystic dates in high school and college, it’s where I had my first job, we’ve celebrated bachelor and bachelorettes here with friends. As in Maine, what a gift to still have the old things and to get to make them new. And the restaurant was amazing, if you ever find yourself in the area!
Breakfast at Sift Bake Shop. Speaking of new(er) things: Sift may not have been around when we lived in Connecticut, but it has become an absolute must for every return trip. Chocolate walnut sea salt cookies and everything bagel croissants as big as your face, the lardon and caramelized onion quiche, absolutely exquisite cakes and entremets that are now a staple at our holiday dinners… do not miss it!
A visit to the farm. This is the 400-year-old farm my Dad grew up on, and where I spent much time as a child. It looms large in my family story and my own psyche, and every chance I get to share it with my children feels very precious.
Thank you, as always, for indulging these memories, friends! Grateful to share them!
Our tenth anniversary trip to Bermuda is this month and we are beyond excited. The last time John and I traveled without kids for more than a day was when we went to Anna Maria for Shep’s babymoon in 2018. In the months leading up to this trip (we booked it in 2021!), it has felt a bit surreal and even overwhelming to think about celebrating ten years of marriage in such a beautiful place with my best friend. For several days! Now that it’s almost here, grateful doesn’t even begin to cover it.
So yes, we are celebrating big, and in ways that are outside our usual scope. John and I were joking the other day that our price-sensitivity meter has been turned wayyyy down when it comes to this trip – we are purposefully splurging in ways we don’t usually, even though doing so sometimes feels uncomfortable for these two savers. That goes for the trip itself, but it also goes for what we’re packing in our suitcases! We’ve both splurged on a few special items with this trip in mind, and I thought it might be fun to share a few of them (plus a few long-time closet staples I’ll be packing, too!).
BEACH DINNER DRESS | We are having a private dinner on the beach one night (if that is not the peak of fancy I don’t know what is) and I wanted to get a special dress for the occasion. This hot pink linen dress is more than I usually spend, but it is stunning in person and fits like a glove. I love it so much.
DAYTIME AND DINNER DRESSES | Dresses are one of my favorite things to wear, but sometimes they don’t feel as easy to throw on when you’re toting small children and doing all the gymnastics they require: bending, stretching, squatting, sitting on the floor, etc. I’m trotting out all my closet favorites for this trip: a cornflower blue floral Rah Rah dress from Pink City Prints, my white sleeveless royal shirt dress (on me here), my Nap dress, and a beloved UPF tunic dress (the material is so unexpectedly silky!).
FANCY COVER UP | I literally pulled over to the curb when I saw my favorite local boutique had a rack of block print dresses on the sidewalk for 50% off. Turns out they were by Oliphant, a new-to-me brand, and I was thrilled to snag one as a cover-up at a great price. It looks similar to this one but golly they have SO many cute patterns and styles!! Dangerous!
SWIMSUITS | Between the beach, the pool, and water-based excursions, I hope every day will involve a swimsuit! My favorite Summersalt will be at the top of the pile – I recommend ordering a size up (and holy moly it’s 50% off right now!).
SUN HAT | I seriously considered buying a Sarah Bray hat (we are going to Bermuda, after all!), since my beloved bow hat is showing its age, but I haven’t pulled the trigger. They’re sold in several shops on the island, however, so perhaps it will be a souvenir :)
TENNIS WEAR | John and I love to play tennis together (yes, even after his injury!), but we haven’t had too many chances for the last few years. Our hotel has courts and we’re looking forward to playing! I’m packing the Vuori tennis skirt he gave me as a Mother’s Day gift and my dusty green Clementine shorts. (I wish they still had them stocked in my color – at first I wasn’t sure it would be that versatile, but I wear them ALL THE TIME.)
TOILETRY BAG | The lining of my previous toiletry bag looked like swiss cheese after several years of wear, so I picked up this Amanda Lindroth bag at a local boutique when we were in Connecticut this summer. It’s also on sale at a great price right now!
Again, it feels surreal that we won’t be packing three tiny sets of clothes alongside ours, but I’m trying to embrace a lighter suitcase on this rare occasion :)
