As I worked my way through my PowerSheets and moved on to naming my goals, I felt some of the familiar anxiety creep in. This part of the process often trips me up: I dive eagerly into the guided questions and have no expectation that I’ll live out my goals perfectly, but in the middle of the process, I’m realizing that I do have expectations for the goals themselves. I want them to be well-organized and meaningful. I want them to fire me up. I want them to be winsome and interesting. I want anyone who reads them to immediately understand what I’m aiming for and the heart behind them.
Here’s something I already know that gave me fresh comfort in this season: I don’t have to be worried about whether my goals are perfectly named and framed, because I know I am headed in the right direction. My goals (however I organize them) are aligned with what matters to me and with my vision for the future (thank you, PowerSheets Prep Work!). I’m confident I’ll make the right adjustments and pivots along the way, and will fill in the next best action steps and choices, because I know what matters. That much is abundantly clear. My goals are just a plan, and plans can change.
That being said, I am really excited about my 2023 goals! They feel free and loose and fun, and I believe they help me steward what God has graciously entrusted to me.
This year, I decided to organize my goals into three pillars, based on my great aunt’s life motto: every day, seek to learn something new, do something kind, and see something beautiful. This is a prescriptive that has been repeated in my family for as long as I can remember. Of course, these pillars are loose, and many goals could fall under any of the three – but it seemed like a fun way to inject a little novelty into my goal setting this year. Without further ado…
Learn Something New
1. Create a book for the first ten years of Em for Marvelous. It’s baaaaaaack! This goal first surfaced in 2021 (I made no progress). I recommitted to it in 2022 (still no progress). In 2023, we’re going to hope that a slightly-freer schedule will give me the breathing room needed to make it happen, because it really does matter to me: while I place tremendous value on sharing here with friends near and far (and LOVE hearing from you when a post touches you – truly, one of my favorite things!), I have long thought of this place as a repository of stories, memories, and wisdom for my children. I’d like to create a physical book for them of the best posts from the first ten years of my writing here (I’m in year 16 now!).
I’m pretty sure I’m going to use Blurb to create the book, and using their software will require me to learn something new!
2. Tend to our home trouble spots in a new way. This is 2023’s boring goal :) We have a number of spots in our home that eternally frustrate me. No matter how well I declutter and organize them, they inevitably degenerate into low-grade chaos after a few months.
First, I’m learning a new way of relating to these spots: I’m choosing to see them less as a failure of my home-keeping skills, and instead as a natural byproduct of a growing, active family making the most of every corner of their well-loved home. (Expectations, people! See what I did there? If I expect the chaos to descend instead of treating these as one-and-done spots, I won’t be as frustrated with each subsequent decluttering session.)
Second, I’m going to try a new way of helping these spots thrive: once I’ve named them, I’ll assign them each to a month of the year and then address them one at a time, in rotation. I hope this will be a sustainable system to keep up with – even as it reduces my mental load – and that it will minimize my frustration with any creeping chaos, knowing that it is a part of life AND that I have a plan to address it.
3. Read through the Gospels with CWM’s boxed collection. I love our beautiful Gospels set and look forward to journaling my way through Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John in addition to whatever we’re reading with our church’s sermon series. I’ll be following the easy reading plan provided with purchase and trust I will learn many new things along the way!
4. Secret goal. Eww, secret goal. I apologize, because I know I strongly dislike when Online People are ostentatiously evasive about things. To be sure, I could have left this goal off this list entirely, but selfishly, I’m including a marker here for posterity :) This is something that I have been wanting to develop for my own family, that I have committed to working on for 2-3 hours each week during some of my additional time away from work this year. If it turns out well, perhaps I will share it at some point in the future :)
Do Something Kind
5. Invite one family (or friend) over for dinner each month. Somehow, between COVID and a newish baby, we have gotten completely out of the habit of inviting other families into our home – last year, aside from our spring party, we did not have a single family over for dinner. When I realized that a few days ago, it truly shocked me. (To be fair, we did gather for a meal with our community group every other week, and I hosted Articles Club every other month, but to me those are in a different category.) A year with no dinner guests is not how I want us to live, and so this goal will be accountability to change that!
Since John and I are both introverts with full lives, it would be easy for this goal to quickly feel like a burden. To keep it light and fun, this goal mostly isn’t about getting to know new people – in most cases, we’ll just be inviting over people we already know, love, and want to see more of! (Though I hope to stay attuned to whomever the Holy Spirit might want to come to our table!)
6. Reach 5,000 minutes on Peloton. I ended 2022 having logged 3,964 minutes (more than doubling 2021’s 1,829 minutes!). To reach 5k, my loose plan is to workout (a mix of cycling and strength) about 30 minutes three times a week on set days, to stretch nightly, to bike June to school, and to take walks throughout the week. This goal is about being kind to my body and my future self.
7. Update our legacy box. This was inspired by PFC’s “dead box” (but legacy box sounds much nicer, ha!). A legacy box is a repository of important financial and life information for the people you love in the case of your death or incapacitation – a definite kindness to them! John and I have done much of this work already – we created our estate planning documents a few years ago – but we want to finish it out and update what needs to be updated (for example, nothing reflects that sweet Annie is in our family!). Maybe this is 2023’s boring goal…
See Something Beautiful
8. Complete our family photo album for 2015-2019. A few years ago, I decided to create a photo album for every five years of John’s and my life together. So far I’ve done 2005-2009, 2010-2014, and this year, I’ll tackle 2015-2019. I hope to complete this goal in the first half of the year and switch over to a goal to get kid memorabilia up to date in the second half!
9. Tend to our family culture. A thriving, life-giving family culture is one of the most beautiful things to behold, I think. This is a forever goal, and a bit of a catch-all one at that, but this year I anticipate it will include taking the Birds & Bees course, navigating a new summer rhythm, trying a new rhythm for kid-parent dates, our weekend anniversary trip to Charleston this fall, and potentially starting up either monthly parent-kid meetings or weekly family meetings (maybe in the fall? You know I’ve talked about starting them for years, ha!).
10. Have fun with my friends. Honestly, I could have come up with a catchier name for this goal, but this does the trick! :) I love creating fun, memorable experiences that bring together the people I love. I have a few gatherings in the works for 2023, and they all take effort that needs to be broken down month-by-month: to start, another book swap, a potluck party, and the very first Articles Club weekend retreat!!
Though they won’t make an appearance in my monthly goals posts, I also consider the walks I plan to take with individual friends in the spirit of this goal. I already have three in my calendar for January – to chat with one about kindergarten, to chat with another about church, and to chat with a third about retreat activities. It is beautiful to get to prioritize this time with the people I love, enjoying each other’s company and figuring out life together.
Thank you, friends. Sharing my goals here, year after year and month after month, is quite possibly the most potent factor in any progress I’ve made, so thank you, as always, for being kind, listening ears! :)
On that note, I’ll be back with my January goals post and my 2023 book list soon. I’m also considering writing a much shorter post on our family goals for 2023 – what they are, how we come up with them, how they differ from my personal goals. Would that be of interest? Please feel free to let me know in the comments, or let me know if there’s one of my goals that you’d love to hear more about as the year goes on! (I already know I have more to say about goals 5, 7, and 10!). OR, tell me what YOU have planned for 2023! Have you set goals yet? I’d love to cheer you on.
This is my tenth year-in-review post. My first came in 2012, which was certainly a good year to start: it was the year we were married, the official beginning of the life of our family. Each year together since has held its share of joys and pleasures, sadness and disappointments. Looking back in intentional ways – marking the time with reflections like these – has helped me to take what I can from each year, to appreciate what it had to offer, to learn what it had to give, to acknowledge the hard and appreciate the good.
I read recently that our lives are what we give our attention to. These posts are my way of giving a little attention to the year of my life I just lived. Thank you, as always, for indulging me!
We kicked off the year by celebrating our best six year old with a day trip to the beach – it’s not often we get to celebrate a January birthday with 70-degree weather! Annie tried solid food for the first time, we got enough snow to go sledding, and we persevered through ridiculously-low temps for an outside Articles Club in the midst of another COVID wave. On the blog, I shared my 2022 goals and reading list as well as our top ten meals of 2021, thanks to my record-keeping neuroses.
In February, the COVID wave crested in our house when our littlest brought it home from daycare and we all fell one by one. Thankfully, our cases were mild, but we suffered through the awful cascade all working parents know well, of sick kids and sick parents, and days missed from school and work. We did manage to make some cute valentines in the midst of it, though :)
March saw our triumphant return to Duke Gardens after COVID restrictions were lifted, and that visit was emblematic of spring springing as a whole: my camera roll shows lots of time outside this month! March was also the month I surprised John with tickets to see Nate Bargatze, a date night that tickled me to no end. On the blog, I shared about our first weekend away as a family of five (to Black Mountain!) and the other names we considered for our children (I think this post might win for most comments of the year!).
April was a delight, and many of its pleasures were captured in our first filming of Annie in April: strawberry picking, a return to Jekyll Island for spring break, seeing our beloved babysitter in her senior year musical, a spring flower party, celebrating Easter with our church. John also buzzed his hair for the first time and Cultivate’s acquisition talks began, both momentous in their own way.
In May we finally made good on two Christmas gifts: an overnight girls’ trip to the American Girl store in Charlotte, and a train trip to Durham! Annie was dedicated at our church, Shep had his first playdate ever with his very best friend, and – in less exciting news – the drive belt on our Telluride failed, kicking off a six-week period without our family car. On the blog, I shared six favorite parts of my evening routine.
Off to the mountains! We celebrated ten years of camping with the Rays in glamping style, a highlight of the year. I got to volunteer at June’s field day before wrapping up her first year (and beginning her first summer) of elementary school. Kristin and I assisted Lisa for the day at her big Maylis shoot and I spoke about “everyday magic” to a hundred local moms. We celebrated Juneteenth with a visit to Hammocks Beach State Park, a local treasure that had been on our NC bucket list since we moved here. And on the last day of the month, Cultivate officially changed hands.
July was bookended with trips: first to Michigan, with 33 Thomas family members and Annie’s first birthday, and then to Maine, with a Sunday service led by me. Both were as golden as always (it was nearly impossible to narrow down these photos). In between, we tucked in birthday peach cobbler for John, a camping-themed birthday party for Shep, and Cultivate’s biggest photo shoot of the year. Unsurprisingly with all that action, I eked out just two blog posts in addition to my monthly goals, including my mid-year goals review.
With the tail end of our trip to Maine and a week in Connecticut, my camera roll was almost entirely blue and green in August. Looking back on the photos, I can’t believe I didn’t name the week in Maine one of my favorite trips of the year – it was packed with such sweet memories. And Connecticut, with a visit to my family’s farm and a particularly memorable date night in Mystic, wasn’t far behind. We also bought paddle boards and took them for their inaugural spin before we celebrated the first day of school. In the midst of it all, this was by far my most challenging month at work as we weathered some of the rockiest aftermath of the acquisition. (I also transitioned to part-time, which was unrelated.)
On the blog, I shared my first year baby gear picks after three kids (I promise part two is coming in 2023!).
September! Work finally kicked off on our kitchen refresh (in the works since January!); the first phase happened while John and I were in Mexico (notBermuda). Our tenth-anniversary trip was a forever memory we are so grateful for. Around the edges, we moved things in and out of our kitchen cabinets and enjoyed a really awesome soccer season for the older kids. On the blog, I wrote about family movie night and how we handled summer as two working parents.
Sickness struck again in October, as June, I, and John fell in succession to the flu. Absolutely brutal. Thankfully, the two littles, who had already gotten their flu shots because of when their well-checks fell, stayed strong! (Let this be a lesson to us all to get our flu shots early and often ;)) On a positive note, our kitchen refresh crossed the finish line (praise!) and our mountain trip to Highlands was a delight. On the blog, I shared everything we read in Articles Club this year as well as part one of my working part-time series.
We celebrated a (chilly!) major milestone for our church in November; this felt like the sweetest cap to our first year in the community. We headed to Virginia for Thanksgiving with the whole Thomas crew for a turkey trot, lots of card games, and cousin time, then snagged our tree on the way home. A few days later, Annie and I spent much of the Duke Chorale Christmas concert outside, since she could not hang in an echo-y chapel :)
I ramped things up on the blog towards the end of the year, sharing parts two and three of my work series (part four was in December) and what to include in a college care package.
December, like much of this year, was full. Honestly, when I detailed month after month for this post, the pace felt somewhat relentless – I had several moments where I had to double-check dates to make sure all that I was describing actually happened in the same month. The most beautiful thing, though? The pace of our life almost never felt relentless in the moment. Usually, it felt rather slow, ordinary, and yes, full. For that, among so many other things, I am grateful.
Friends, I know I’ve said it before, but I am SO excited for what we’ll discuss here in 2023. Thank you for being here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. My 2023 goals are just about ready to share, so I’ll see you soon! :)
Happy October, friends! The most exciting news around here is our kitchen project, which is well underway – I had to include a photo of some of the progress for this month’s update. The backsplash is complete (love!), the microwave has been removed and hood added, lots of little painting details were taken care of, the light fixture was switched out, and perhaps most excitingly, our fireplace has had a MAJOR glow-up. It all already looks so different!
And today, as you read this, a crew is back at our house hammering away, building out around the fridge before refacing and painting the cabinets later this week. It’s a bit stressful (I’m so nervous to see the paint color go on!), but I am very grateful.
Aside from a completed kitchen and cleaned-up dust, let’s see what else is on tap for October…
On my calendar this month: — Our annual fall trip to the mountains. We absolutely loved our trip to Black Mountain in 2021 but are returning to Highlands this year! — The 6th anniversary of Articles Club! Recap of what we read this year coming to a blog near you soon. — Lots of hikes. Fall, with its changing leaves and cooler temps, is my very favorite time to get out in the woods as a family!
What I’m loving right now: — Ever since Father of the Bride at age 7, it’s been Steve Martin for me. Loved this recent profile of him. — It’s hard to classify this as something I’m “loving,” since it was certainly a sobering episode, but this conversation with Jenny Black on the RB&G podcast has stuck with me weeks after I listened to it. I consume a lot of content around kids, parents, and the effect of technology on both, and there were still points she raised that were totally new for me. — Random, but we have found these waterproof pads to be so helpful when kids are transitioning out of pull-ups overnight. We lay it over the sheet and if there’s an accident in the middle of the night, we can just whisk it off without remaking the whole bed. And they go in the washing machine, too!
As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in September: It’s been a strange month of reading for me!
I finished Take Back Your Family, and though I liked it, it mostly felt like ideas I already knew – and the writing was a bit clumsy. This epic piece by David Brooks was basically a more sophisticated version of the first half of the book.
I started The Common Rule and am LOVING it. However, I’m only one chapter in because I committed to trying each of the habits he lays out before moving on to reading about the next one.
I started Great Circle and quit it about 75 pages in. The plot plodded, I didn’t care for the characters, and I found some of the content disturbing. Not for me.
I started Crossing to Safety and am enjoying it so far! It was published in 1987 and feels like it was published a century ago, in some ways. Very different reading experience than a modern novel.
Finally, I just started Majesty last night and am a quarter through it, ha. My Mom took it out of the library when she visited and I figured I’d zip through it before returning it!
Revisiting my September goals: All hands on deck for the kitchen project! Order mirror and hand towel for powder room (Done! We decided on this mirror – I think it looks far more high-end than its price – and a hand towel from the JB x PB collection. Love!) Edit June in June Volume 7 Film Sheptember, Volume 4 Complete June’s baby book Prepare well for and enjoy our anniversary trip (Yes, although due to Hurricane Fiona it took a COMPLETELY unexpected turn. More about that soon…) Clear the backlog on my “Friday list.” (I completed about 1/3 instead of the half I was aiming for, but good progress!)
October goals: — Organize our garage. It is the stuff of (my) nightmares right now. — Sew the Christmas tree for my Advent calendar (back at it!) — Join Ben’s October challenge for a little Peloton pick-me-up — Send care packages to our college babysitters — Finish final kitchen details once work is complete (organizing stuff in cabinets, order rug, artwork for bathroom, etc.) — Edit Sheptember, Volume 4 — Create our family Halloween costumes (Nothing, and I repeat nothing will (ever?) beat last year’s, but we’re still going to have fun!)
Last quarter of 2022, here we go! Grateful for you all!
I’m one month into my new work rhythm, we’re back from two weeks in New England, June is back to school, Annie is walking, and fall is around the corner. And this month? This month, John and I celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. I am grateful and in awe, and included a nod to this milestone on my PowerSheets: “If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.” Taking care feels effortless some days and a tall order others, but every day, I feel sure we’ve found a treasure in each other. We will be celebrating big this month, and I can’t wait!
On my calendar this month: — The first day of fall! We’ll bake apple cider scones for our family and June’s teachers, a tradition we started six years ago. — My very favorite kids consignment sale! — Our tenth wedding anniversary and trip to Bermuda!!!
What I’m loving right now: — When in Maine, Kate introduced us to the card game Dutch Blitz, and I. could not. get. enough. It’s addicting in a similar way to solitaire (maybe I’ll win if I play just one more time!), but is played in a group. SO FUN. (You can buy an expansion pack to play with more than four, too!) — Martha Stewart was the topic of our most recent Articles Club, and this podcast episode was in the bonus material. As a very longtime Martha fan, I felt seen (and even learned some new info!). A very enjoyable hour! — This clock was included in our kitchen refresh design plan. I ordered and hung it back in May (for $8 less than it’s now listed for, sob) and it’s kept my hope for this project alive through many months of no progress. Aside from being a beacon of hope, It’s so nice to be able to see the time from almost anywhere in our downstairs without needing to have my phone on me.
As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in August: — I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet | Hoo boy. I know I have many Shauna Niequist fans reading (I count myself among them!), but… this was not my favorite of her titles. The subtitle – “discovering new ways of living when the old ways stop working” – is important here: I realized pretty quickly that her “old” ways and my “current” ways are very similar. She speaks very compassionately about her old ways (not in a disparaging way!), and there are extremely valid, difficult reasons why she needed to find new ways – but I don’t have those reasons, and so this book just wasn’t what I needed for this season. And that’s okay!
Revisiting my August goals: Enjoy our time in Maine and Connecticut Edit June in June Volume 7 (I finally picked a song!! Progress to come!) Plan and enjoy our back-to-school dinner Make kitchen decisions and order things (Met with handyman and Callie! Tile, cabinet hardware, hood vent, lights have been ordered!) Make powder room decisions and order things (Light has been ordered but I can’t really say this is complete…) Complete June’s baby book Adjust to my four-day work week rhythm
September goals: — All hands on deck for the kitchen project! This is the big month when work will start and (hopefully!) be finished!! — Order mirror and hand towel for powder room — Edit June in June Volume 7 — Film Sheptember, Volume 4 — Complete June’s baby book — Prepare well for and enjoy our anniversary trip — Clear the backlog on my “Friday list.” In the weeks before my schedule shifted at work, I began to put tasks on a “Friday list” – things I’d get to when I was no longer working on Fridays. There are currently 32 items on it (some big, some very tiny) and I’d love to clear at least half of them out this month!
I’d love to hear: what are you celebrating these days? Big or little – all good things welcome :)
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2022 goals!
