Friends, thank you so much for your kind notes on last week’s happy news!! You are, as always, the best. As I said, I have much to discuss now that the news is out, likely beginning with the decision to have a third child – hopefully later this week. This was the number one question by far when I asked, and I definitely have thoughts! :)
But for today, something a bit lighter! I don’t consider myself an expert on skincare by any means, but as with most areas of my life, I like to do my research and indulge in some slow tinkering. Over the years I’ve landed on products that really work for me, and even though skincare is SO personal, I wanted to share in case one of them might really work for you! And it’s just fun to document my routine at different points in my life (here’s a post from three years ago – some products are still in rotation!).
So – here we go! My morning and evening skincare routine in my mid-30’s.
Rise and shine! Here’s my morning routine:
1. Splash my face with water and pat dry. I’ve found there’s no need to cleanse in the morning. I’m hoping this retains more moisture in my skin!
2. Apply vitamin C serum.This is the newest addition to my routine (I’m about a month into using it), and I would say the jury is still out. It has definitely not had any adverse effects, and it’s less expensive than many other serums, but I’m not sure what positive effects I’ve been able to pinpoint, either. Vitamin C serum supposedly has antioxidant and ant-aging properties, and is supposed to give your skin a brighter, more radiant, and more even appearance. It’s one of the two products (along with retinol) it seems everyone recommends in your 30’s, and so I figured it would behoove me to try it. (No retinol for me yet.) Maybe it’s meant to be more of a protectant than something you see immediate results from? Or maybe I just need to keep at it a bit longer?
I use three drops and blend it in all over my face, then wait for it to dry before putting on the next layer…
3. Apply sunscreen. I converted to Elta MD a few years ago and LOVE it! It is not inexpensive, but to hear any skin expert talk, the absolute best thing you can do for your skin is wear sunscreen daily. I use one pump all over my face and any extra on my neck. (If I know I’m going to be outside a lot, I use a less expensive Neutrogena sunscreen all over my neck and the rest of my body!)
The Elta glides on smoothly, leaves no white cast, has a nice, very light smell, and layers well under makeup, etc. It’s also nice that it’s moisturizing enough that I don’t need to use a separate moisturizer, which helps justify the price!
4. Remove any remaining eye makeup from the night before. I swipe on a little coconut oil then wipe it off with a Q-tip or tissue.
5. Apply deodorant. I am back to using the Schmidt’s stick, which is readily available in my grocery store/Target and reasonably priced. I like that it is “natural,” but I do find I need to reapply at least once during the day (TMI?). I am all ears for any other recs!
6. Brush my teeth. I think doing this step at this point in the routine gives everything a chance to sink in before applying makeup. I use this toothpaste which I’ve raved about before – it actually does seem to whiten without causing pain!
1. Wash with charcoal soap. Many years in, this product continues to be a slam-dunk winner for me! You canNOT beat the price, and I feel like it continues to do so much to balance out my oily/dry skin. I’ve even turned John onto it! After I rinse, I’ll wipe my face all over with a clean, wet wash cloth, which serves as a gentle exfoliator. I am really weird about using an actual clean wash cloth every day, so I bought a cheap pack of 12 for $4 and just toss them in the wash with our whites!
I’ll also gently swipe my eyes with the Makeup Eraser to remove eye makeup at this point.
2. Swipe on toner with a cotton round. I’ve long struggled with dry, flaky skin on my forehead, and this toner is the first product that’s ever made a difference. The flakiness is gone, overall my skin is smoother, and I do think my pores look a bit smaller, too! (Fun fact: I discovered this via an online order sample. I don’t try 90% of the samples I receive, and I’m not sure what made me pick this one up, but I’m VERY glad I did!)
I use two pumps and swipe it all over my face.
3.Moisturize. A favorite for several years running! Skin Dew feels so light and sinks so effortlessly into my skin, yet is SO moisturizing and balancing. It’s expensive, but a small amount goes a long way for me, and the price is totally worth it for the results I see. Plus, I love supporting a Southern small business! I have been tempted to try Belif The True Cream Aqua Bomb on Jen’s recommendation, so perhaps I’ll try that after my current jar is done.
4. Brush my teeth and swipe on more Aquaphor. Obviously :)
And that’s it! I’d love to hear the MVPs from your morning or evening skincare routine! Have you tried a retinol or vitamin C serum you love? Any interest in a beauty routine post? :)
Having children is the greatest expression of hope humans can participate in. We believe the best is yet to come. We are not cynical people. Deciding to have children is tantamount to saying we believe the world they will grow up in will be bright and beautiful, and that’s a statement of faith we want to make.
I believe this is an even more radical position to hold today than it was six years ago, in no small part because we find ourselves (still!) in the grips of a global pandemic. But John and I feel this as strongly as we ever have. God is good. Life will find a way. And we are VERY grateful to be a part of bringing a new little embodiment of hope into a broken and beautiful world later this year.
Perhaps surprisingly, I’m finding I have much more I’d like to discuss with you about a third pregnancy/child than I did about a second, but here are a few preliminaries to get us up to speed!
How are you feeling? At 21 weeks, I feel great! I have felt MUCH more tired throughout this pregnancy than I have with either of my previous two (like, napping every day and for three hours on the weekends in the first trimester!), but I’ve had more energy in the last few weeks. I also had low-grade but manageable nausea in the first trimester (a little milder than previous pregnancies).
Wait, did you say 21 weeks?! Yep! 21 weeks today. My due date is July 15, which is actually John’s birthday! July is about to get even fuller and happier, as we also have Shep’s birthday at the end of the month and MANY extended family birthdays and anniversaries in July, too!
I did not plan to announce this pregnancy so late in the game, but a few factors combined to make it so. (Looking at you, rainiest winter on record, NC, and general ever-present exhaustion.) Now that we’ve cleared this hurdle, I can’t wait to share more!
Were you planning on having another baby? Yes! It was not always a foregone conclusion, however – more about that in a future post :) I will say that a third child does not seem to be a forgone conclusion for others, either, in the way that, say, a second child often is, so it has been fun to receive the more surprised and delighted reactions of friends and family this time around as opposed to the “yay! but yeah, we figured this was coming” that we got last time :) We do believe our family will be complete with the addition of this little one.
Are you going to find out whether it’s a boy or girl? We actually already have, at the 20-week anatomy scan! (EEK!) As before, I needed these next few months to wrap my head around and prepare my heart for what’s coming. We have shared with our families and will be sharing here, too, shortly!
Do June and Shep know? They do! We wrapped up “big sister” and “big brother” shirts for them to open on Christmas Eve. It’s been totally different and wonderful to have a very aware five-year-old as part of the experience this time around! She loves to find out what size fruit the baby is each week, and we’ve been having lots of conversations about baby sister or brother (she is rooting for sister). She will be the best helper this summer!
Shep, age 2.5, does not seem to have much conception of what’s happening, but when we were sitting on the floor the other day, he did pat my stomach and say, “what’s this big belly doing?” HA!
Did you and Nancy have a pregnancy pact? No, but we are delighted to be due two weeks apart!! We had a very funny get-together a few weeks ago where one of us said, “I have something to tell you,” and the other one said, “I have something to tell YOU!” Needless to say, we will be camping in the spring this year! :)
Friends, you have been so kind to me and my family over the MANY years we have been together here, and it really is a joy to share these milestones with you. This third journey hasn’t yet felt complete without you as a part! I can’t wait to share more of the story as it unfolds.
Many thanks to photographer June for capturing the bottom two photos! :)
This is one of those months where it looked like not much got done on my goals… and in some cases, that’s true! I definitely did not make as much progress as I had hoped in some areas. But in others, specifically our master bedroom refresh, my goals did exactly what they were supposed to: they started the ball rolling, and now that it’s rolling, the momentum will carry the project forward. Onward to March, and the first month of spring!!
On my calendar: — Our spring break trip to Jekyll Island! Very grateful for the chance to get away to the beach (and to experience a part of the South we’ve never visited!). — An outdoor lunch with a high school friend we haven’t seen in years — Some St. Patrick’s Day after-school snack fun like this or this
What I’m loving right now: — As the weather turns warmer, I’m starting to think about freshening up our outdoor spaces. I snapped up this pretty (and good size!) pot a few weeks ago (it is that prettiest blue color that so many of us love!) and purchased this adorable lemon one as a gift! (The orange pattern is also adorable!!) — If you’ve been around here any length of time, you’ve heard me sing the praises of Expecting Better, my favorite pregnancy book. The author, Emily Oster, is an economist, and her (free!) weekly newsletter is my new favorite. She writes a lot about COVID and risk, as well as other parenting and pregnancy topics, from a pragmatic point of view. — By now, surely someone has already told you to watch Ted Lasso, but if not, allow me to be that person. It is funny, sweet, so sincere, and full of life lessons I am still unpacking. COMPLETELY WORTH the $4.99 Apple TV+ subscription for a month, or you could do a free trial and finish it in a week :)
What I read in February: — Essentialism: I liked this book. A lot of it was things I already understood and agreed with (but even things we know and agree with benefit from a reminder every so often). Like many of you, I bristled at some of his suggestions which seemed unnecessarily selfish and not in keeping with the life we’re called to as Christians (similar to The Four-Hour Work Week). Though in the end I felt he failed to deliver on the main promise of the book (how to distinguish the “trivial many” from the “essential few” in an on-the-ground sense), there are some good nuggets to take away. — Crazy Rich Asians: Fun! Though I enjoyed the book, this is a case where I actually may have preferred the movie – the sprawling families are harder to keep track of on the page, and the glitzy fashion and settings are fun to see on the screen.
Revisiting my February goals: Book our annual camping trip (researched, no booking yet!) Book our mountains trip for this fall (did a bunch of research but haven’t booked yet!) Watch the Theolaby bonus materials with John Focus on small tweaks and refreshes in our bedroom, including a new paint color (!), new curtains, and a new grid of photos. (though none of these things actually got done, decisions were made and our handyman was booked!) Finish submitting June’s kindergarten paperwork Finish culling and sorting the second half of 2020 photos (did two more months!)
March goals: — Finish culling and sorting the second half of 2020 photos — Book our annual camping trip — Book our mountains trip — Plan and prep for our spring break trip — Focus on small tweaks and refreshes in our guest room — Style our mantel for spring — Have our carpets cleaned (We have lived here 8+ years and have never done this… are you screaming at your computer?! Or Googling a carpet cleaner near you because you’ve also never done this? Ha!)
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2021 goals!
Let’s discuss: is there a movie adaptation you actually preferred to the book? Or maybe a movie adaption of a beloved book you loathe?
P.S. Read all the way to the bottom looking for the extra-exciting post I teased on Friday? I’m so sorry for making you wait – hopefully later this week!!
18. Dream trip destination? Switzerland or Austria! The mountains look unreal.
19. Favorite fun perks of working at Cultivate? Ooh, so many! Getting as much product for personal use as I’d like is obviously great, and we get $500 a year worth of product to gift to our friends and family. We also have a monthly allowance to spend on the “personal growth” book of our choice, which for an avid reader like me is gold! (And has helped me grow a fun lending library over the years.)
20. What are the attributes you’re striving to cultivate in your kids? In no particular order – integrity, personal responsibility, generosity, gratitude, thoughtfulness, optimism, confidence, faithfulness, and a capacity for wonder.
21. Do you still Irish dance? Are you teaching your children? I’m not dancing in any formal way, though I have been known to throw out a high kick under the right circumstances. (For those who didn’t know, I was a competitive Irish step dancer from about 5th through 12th grade!) As for whether I’ll introduce June, I am undecided. I feel like the competition world has gotten even CRAZIER since my exit in terms of the appearance expected (exhibits A, B, C, D – this was the look when I performed) and I do not like that. However, it is an amazing art form and I loved dancing it!
For now, June has taken parks and rec ballet since about age 3, and we’re both excited for her to continue once it’s safer to do so.
22. Are your kids messy? I find it hard to buy investment clothes or furniture because I’m worried they’ll get stained or broken. I try to set us all up for success by eating snacks or doing crafts that might be messy at the kitchen table or outside, or finding another workaround. For example, this winter, they’ve been really into eating our after-school snack on the carpet by the fire, so I just make sure we eat something that won’t stain (cheese and crackers, grapes). Our Eufy vacuum sucks up the crumbs every night :)
The only furniture I worry about are our cream club chairs, but Jenny Komenda recommended this spray a few years ago and in my experience it’s never met a stain it can’t get out – AMAZING.
I wouldn’t say I buy investment clothes at this stage of my life!
23. What is something you think brides forget to think about or is underrated about weddings? I LOVE THIS QUESTION! So much so that I think it deserves its own post. In the meantime, I would say a lot of aspects of the wedding morning tend to get overlooked – where you’ll be getting ready, what the space looks and feels like (in the moment and in pictures), who will be with you, what you’ll listen to, what you’ll eat — and how that all adds up to the vibe that will carry you into the rest of your day.
24. What would you never give up in order to save money? Assuming my life-preserving basics are accounted for, I would cut back but never completely cut out money for travel (or adventure of some sort). We have reduced our travel deliberately some years, but even if it was just a day trip for fancy ice cream on the coast, I’ll always preserve some money in our budget for that category if at all possible. We also tithe to our church, and I would never eliminate charitable giving.
25. What is one change you made to your routine during COVID that you hope to continue? Several times a week, John and I are able to have lunch and take a quick walk together, and it is a JOY! We both will continue to work from home at least a few times a week even after the pandemic “ends,” and we definitely plan to keep this up.
26. How do you and John show each other intentional love in the little things? I get asked versions of this question often, and I find it a hard one to answer – I guess because the things we do repeatedly (which probably are the things that matter most) have become so ingrained we don’t realize they’re notable. A few things that come to mind: we are in tune with each other’s moods, and are quick to check in if the other seems off. We try to take an evening walk together as often as we can. Though we could be better about this, we’ll take on a chore or parenting duty for the other without being asked (or sometimes after being asked, ha!) if we’ve had a hard day.
27. What do you usually eat for breakfast? On weekdays, almost always a very unglamorous Nature Valley granola bar and water, sometimes with a banana. On the weekends, we usually make pancakes with a blackberry jam syrup on either Saturday or Sunday. I also make award-winning cheesy scrambled eggs, and I love a good everything bagel sandwich with bacon, eggs, and cheese :)
28. Do you hope to retire early? John and I joke about how parents should be able to retire between the ages of 30 and 40 and then go back to work… BUT IT’S TRUE. Barring that disruption in our work culture, yes, we do hope to retire earlier than the average (which apparently is 61-ish). We’re not willing to make the trade-offs necessary to be FIRE people, but John has loosely targeted 55 for himself. I don’t have a clear vision for me! I think there are a LOT of factors that could affect this over the next few decades, and for now, we just feel really grateful to both have jobs we don’t want to escape from.
29. Favorite childhood memory? The biggest (and truest) answer would have to be the summer stays on our island in Maine. On a smaller scale, I have very fond memories of “mystery rides.” A parent would announce one as dinner ended, we’d rush to get our shoes on and pile into the van, and then we’d invariably drive down the hill for ice cream – but because it was a mystery ride, we could have been going anywhere! :)
30. What’s your favorite part about being a mom? That’s like choosing your favorite child! I love teaching them things and sharing new experiences with them, especially ones I loved as a child. I love building a family culture with John and seeing them adopt and uphold it. I love one-on-one time and conversations where I get a glimpse into their thought processes and those rare but very special moments where you see some aspect of parenting pay off in a big way (like when they display one of those attributes from above we’re trying to cultivate).
I also think it’s a very unique responsibility to have someone depend on you so deeply, and I’m proud that they seem completely assured I will continue to fulfill it.
31. What’s the silliest show you and John watch together? That would have to be The Bachelor. We watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, but no other franchise spin-offs.
33. How do you celebrate friends’ birthdays? My very favorite way to celebrate a local friend’s birthday is to make an unexpected porch drop-off on the big day – flowers, a sweet treat, a little gift, a note. The item doesn’t really matter, but, having been on the receiving end of such a surprise, the idea that someone took the time and cared enough to drive all the way to my house (usually 15-30 minutes away) bowls me over every time.
34. What are you most excited about for the next decade? Watching our family grow! I have heard the ages of 6-12 described as the “golden” years – the sweet range where kids are more capable and able to communicate, but still just love being around you and are up for anything. I see lots of big and little adventures and many game nights in our future :)
Thank you again for playing along, friends! I loved, loved, loved hearing from you on yesterday’s post, so please feel free to chime in again! Did anything stick out to you, or do we have anything in common? Is there an itsy-bitsy blog post here you’d like to see turned into a full-blown blog post? :)
