Though I hadn’t classified this trip in my mind as a family reunion, I’m pretty sure it fits the bill: 30+ extended family members, a scenic lakeside location, a century-old house, and matching tees, to boot :)
Our last visit to John’s extended-family cottage in Northern Michigan was in 2017, when June was 1.5. This year’s trip was delayed three times over (in 2019 because both of John’s sisters gave birth, and in 2020 and 2021 because of COVID), so we were beyond thrilled to finally return. I would love to share a few photos, if you’d like to see! I also have a few thoughts to share on why this trip felt so removed from everyday life, and in that way, refreshing – because if I notice something, it’s hard for me to resist digging down into the roots to figure out what’s going on :)
The first layer of novelty that set our time in Michigan apart – and made this vacation feel especially refreshing – was physical. The weather, of course, was delightfully different than North Carolina in July: a crisp, sunny, 75 degrees during the day and a hint of chill at dinner, with almost no humidity in sight. I got to wear a sweatshirt! Almost every evening!
Because of the mild temperatures, we enjoyed true indoor/outdoor living, something I miss dearly about New England summers. We were in and out of the houses a million times a day and the windows and screen doors were open at all times. When inside, outside sounds floated in: children laughing, the slap of the bags hitting the cornhole board, the buzz of a boat on the lake. And the reverse when outside: pans rattling on the stove, the murmur of adults talking, and the gentle suck of the refrigerator door opening. I love living this way, but North Carolina’s 90+ summertime temps make air conditioning and closed windows a necessity.
The last physical layer? We move a LOT more in Michigan than I do in my everyday life. We walked the road between cottages multiple times a day. We ran and jumped in the sand dunes. We swam. We kayaked, we canoed, we paddle boarded. We tubed. We knee-boarded. We went to bed tired and with a gentle ache somewhere in our bodies pretty much every night.
And finally, of course, Northern Michigan is just incredibly physically beautiful: striking blues and greens everywhere you look.
The second novel layer is our schedule. The sun doesn’t fully set until 10pm, so the days seem to stretch and stretch. Unlike at home, where my time is pre-scheduled, regimented, and fairly routine, the days here unspool with languor. Our schedule is loose, and I’m largely not in charge of it – I’m often only vaguely aware of what’s going to happen next. Go on the boat? Sure! Take a detour to the lighthouse? Sure! S’mores at the big house? Sure! The kids play for hours at a time under their own steam, dashing past just often enough for us to confirm they’re still on their feet.
The third layer is relational. Here, we spend more time together as a family than we do in our everyday life, where we split off to school and work during the week. More than that, though, we’re surrounded by extended family in Michigan. There are aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins galore. There’s always someone to play with or have a conversation with or go on a paddle board with, and there’s an easy sharing of the weight of cooking, kid-minding, and logistics that falls on just John and I when we’re at home.
June bonded tightly with one of her cousins who was born just five weeks after her (remember, they last saw each other at a year and a half!). One of the sweetest parts, though? Seeing the big cousins hang with the little cousins. There are several high schoolers in our group, and they were unbelievably kind, patient, and goofy with our kids: reading to them, tubing with them, and allowing them to chase them around the house with badminton rackets (this happened multiple times a day, accompanied by shrieks of delight).
The final layer is historical. Since John and I didn’t grow up in North Carolina, our surroundings don’t conjure childhood memories. There’s something particularly powerful and sweet about seeing your children experience things you loved when you were young in the exact same place, even (especially?) when they’re different from the everyday.
Take this crazy flipping maneuver on the right. Apparently this is a longstanding Thomas tradition – my husband and his sisters remember doing it when they were young. The kids run at full tilt into a grown-up’s feet, get flipped over the adult’s head in a full pike position, and land on their feet. It is as astonishing and hilarious as it sounds, and the kids could not get enough.
From hiking Sleeping Bear Dunes to eating at the A&W to simply sitting on plastic Adirondack chairs, watching a lake day slide by, I’ll take nostalgia and relationship over extravagance most days of the week.
And that’s pretty much where we ended up. This vacation is about as far from glamorous as it gets, and family time can be messy and frustrating, but it is beyond precious to us. We feel so incredibly lucky to get to take our kids here – to have them experience the natural beauty, the laidback fun, and the relationships with people we love – that the siblings all vowed Michigan will be an every-other-year adventure for the foreseeable future. There are a million destinations I’d love to see in the world, but I know I’ll never regret prioritizing this one at this time.
P.S. Annie celebrated her first birthday on this trip! She did it in true Michigan style: digging into a cherry pie serenaded by a circle of smiling relatives.
The celebrations were not without incident, as a certain sibling leaned on her high chair tray and knocked it loose, causing the pie to crash to the ground…
… but thankfully, we had about 547 pies to feed our crew, so the birthday girl still got her happy ending :)
I have systematized a lot of things in our family life, but birthday parties are not one of them. As of now, we have no set pattern or household rules to follow about who gets one when, what they look like, or who is invited. Thus far, we have had:
And now, a fourth birthday party for Shep at a local park! (Of course, on years we haven’t had official parties, we’ve celebrated birthdays in other ways, either with small family-only meals, birthday fun days, or very casual park meet-ups with friends.) His party was a sweet little delight, and I would love to tell you about it.
A few months ago, Shep started asking about having a birthday party. Given how COVID had changed the landscape for much of his preschool career, he hadn’t really attended any birthday parties until earlier this spring. Once he did, though, he was hooked, and expressed interest in a “camping and nature” themed bash for his own number four. This was most definitely a theme I could work with, and so my planning assistants and I got to work.
First up: location! We chose a somewhat out-of-the-way local park, with a pavilion tucked right up next to a small playground. The park is on a lake, and given the heat of July, I figured a morning soiree next to a body of water gave us the best chance of surviving an outdoor party.
We invited a truly eclectic selection of guests: my sister and her family; four “family friend” families; two newer-friend families from church; and the families of four preschool friends. If everyone had been able to attend, we would have topped out at almost 50 guests, but with summer travels and last-minute sickness, we ended up with a small group: my parents, Kate’s fam, my younger sister (who flew in as a surprise!), and three preschool friend families. It worked out perfectly: I joked that the only people Shep really cared about being there were his two best buddies from school (they are inseparable!), and he was positively thrilled to spend the morning with them. We sent out Paperless Post invitations to keep things simple.
Since it was a morning party, we opted for brunch-y food: chicken minis, of course, and a fruit salad from Chick-fil-a; bagels and cream cheeses from a favorite local shop; mini muffins from Publix; a mix-your-own trail mix bar; and juice boxes, water, and Waterloo to keep everyone hydrated. E-A-S-Y was my watchword.
The trail mix bar included Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, peanuts, mini pretzels, m&ms, bunny grahams, and mini marshmallows (which promptly stuck together into big clumps, ha – not the best choice for the heat).
In lieu of a traditional cake, we continued the brunch theme and opted for a tower of Duck Donuts.
The park setting was lovely and perfect for our theme, so we added just a few touches: a string of felt bunting to mark the pavilion, kraft paper runners with animal track decals for the tables, and paper goods. Very important: we brought two large standing fans to bring a breeze and keep the bugs away! They were quite effective.
We also set up our backpacking tent and Eno hammock nearby for the kids to play in, and they enjoyed those between runs to the playground.
The final organized activity was tucked inside the goodie bags: a custom nature scavenger hunt.
The favors were probably my favorite part: I’m stubborn about providing something edible or that won’t be immediately discarded, and since we had a smaller guest count, we could splurge a bit. I stamped muslin drawstring bags with each guest’s name (using these stamps), then filled them with the scavenger hunt sheet, a marker, a mini clipboard, a woodland creature sticker sheet, a granola bar, and a pair of binoculars. The final touch? A specially-chosen gem from the kids’ collections for each friend. You know we’re always trying to find uses for our overflowing rock collection :)
And there you have it! A fun and low-key morning for our best little guy. “I really loved my party,” he said on the way home, which was the sweetest thing to hear.
Thanks for taking a peek, friends! An attendee and I were discussing whether we thought at-home or on-location parties are less stressful. I came down on the side of on-location (where the main stressor for an outdoor location like this one is remembering to bring everything you need – candles, tape, scissors, etc.!), but I’d love to hear what you think!
Happy August, friends! It’s a big month around here – as of today, I am transitioning to working four days a week. This might seem like small news, but to me, it looms large. I’m very much looking forward to this change, and yet I’ve also felt conflicted – not necessarily about doing it, but about sharing it. If it would be of interest, I’m willing to attempt to untangle my many thoughts in a future post, as I think conversations around women and moms and household responsibilities and “work/life balance” (ick) are often shout-y, shallow, and all-or-nothing. This would decidedly not be that, but it’s still a delicate topic. Let me know what you think.
On that note, the main driver of this shift is to give more weight in my work/life balance to our home and family’s management, but I do expect it will give me a bit more time to write here, and for that I’m very grateful, as this blog and community are a joy of my life. (Still no plans to make it a job, though, ha.) Thank you, as always, for being here! xo
On my calendar this month: — A week in Maine and a week in Connecticut! Two of our favorite places with some of our favorite people. We feel very lucky. — The first day of school!
What I’m loving right now: — S’mores game changer: use original Fudge Stripes cookies in place of both graham crackers and chocolate bars. You’d think the ratio wouldn’t be quite right but it is perfection. Heartfelt thank yous to the Michigan cousins for making our introduction! — We listened to several episodes of the Along for the Ride podcast on our recent road trips, and they were delightful! Each episode has games, stories, and conversation starters, and though they’re geared towards kids, we all enjoyed listening and playing along.
As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in July: — The Prophet’s Wife | I picked up this fictional novel about the wife of the founder of the LDS church in a bookshop in Michigan on a whim. The writing and interweaving of time periods felt a little clunky to me, but what bothered me most was the seeming liberties taken with the interior thoughts of the main character: her feelings towards her husband, her faith, and the church he founded (all largely negative, in her imagining). Though the author takes pains to note this is a novel, not a biography, the plot follows the historical record so closely that I guess it seems a little cheap to impose such strong feelings onto a historical figure without evidence for them. Also, I had flashbacks to reading The Paris Wife with this one: you know you’re headed to an unfortunate ending, and so a sense of minor dread hangs over the whole novel. Not my favorite.
Revisiting my July goals: Write the service I’m giving at the Island in August (Yes! This soaked up much of my extra time last month, as evidenced by my lack of activity here. But I think it was well worth it to show up for one of my most special in-person communities.) Edit June in June, Volume 7 Use Cultivate’s Leap Ahead Day to plan our Bermuda “marriage summit” …and strategize and plan ahead for family meeting topics(More to come here, but got started!) Write out a personal reading plan for the rest of our current sermon series Complete June’s baby book Make kitchen decisions and order things (I am not checking this off, but I did get organized to make decisions… I basically gathered everything I need to make the decisions and laid it all out very neatly so that Callie can come over and we can knock them out in an hour or two. That date is on the calendar!)
August goals: — Enjoy our time in Maine and Connecticut — Edit June in June Volume 7 — Plan and enjoy our back-to-school dinner — Make kitchen decisions and order things — Make powder room decisions and order things (light, mirror, hand towel!) — Complete June’s baby book — Adjust to my four-day work week rhythm
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2022 goals!
I hope the second half of summer is treating you well, friends! If you’ve had any fun adventures lately, I’d love to hear about them in the comments! :)
In 2020, John and I both had Juneteenth added to our list of company holidays. Over the last few years, it’s been neat to learn more about it and find ways to celebrate it that feel honoring. This year, Juneteenth was observed on a Monday, so we took the opportunity to stay overnight at the North Carolina coast and visit Hammocks Beach State Park on our day off. It was a delight (and uniquely fitting for Juneteenth), and I’d love to tell you about it!
Hammocks Beach appeared on our radar pre-kids, when John turned it up as a contender for our annual camping trip. There are primitive camping sites on the island, but the logistical hurdles seemed a bit steep, so we put it on the back burner.
In 2019, I read an article in my favorite North Carolina magazine about the history of Hammocks Beach. In short: a (white) neurosurgeon and a (black) wilderness guide became friends in the early 1900s. Sharpe (the neurosurgeon) bought the property – 4,600 acres! – and hired Hurst (the guide) to manage the land. The families became close, and in the 1940s, toward the end of his life, Sharpe offered the entire property to the Hursts.
Instead of accepting, they forged a new plan together: in 1950, they deeded the property to the North Carolina Teachers Association, an organization of black educators and community leaders. From the article: “Because of segregation, African Americans were banned from public beaches in the state, including parks for which they paid taxes. [This plan] would honor teachers and give black schoolchildren and families in the state access to one of North Carolina’s most beautiful beaches.”
In 1961, Bear Island became a state park for African-Americans. The 1964 Civil Rights Act banned segregation in all parks, and though for several years afterward it continued to be a destination primarily for black families, it’s now enjoyed by all North Carolinians.
A fitting destination for Juneteenth, no? And what a beautiful beach it is! John and I could NOT get over the color of the water – it truly felt like we were in the Caribbean. We loved our trip, but there are a few helpful things to know if you go…
Where to stay at Hammocks Beach State Park:
Aside from the primitive camp sites, there are no accommodations on Bear Island. We opted to stay at the Hampton Inn in the nearby town of Swansboro (photos directly above from in town). It was $170 for two adjoining rooms (so nice to have when traveling with kids!). We usually stay in Airbnbs when traveling, so the hotel breakfast was a special treat for our kids :)
Swansboro is a cute waterfront town. After arriving on Sunday afternoon, we walked the main drag, ate dinner right on the water at Saltwater Grill, shared ice cream cones, and even caught some of an outdoor concert set up in the center of town.
Boarding the ferry and pulling away from the mainland
How to get to Hammocks Beach State Park:
This is part of the fun! Bear Island – the 4-mile-long, undeveloped barrier island that’s the centerpiece of the state park – is accessible only by the park’s passenger ferry or by paddling a canoe or kayak. You can find the ferry schedule here. When we visited, ferries left hourly from the mainland and from Bear Island, offset by half an hour. A round-trip ticket was $6 for adults and $4 for kids (Annie was free, but also needed a ticket).
There are no advanced reservations and timed tickets are sold on a first come-first served basis. Since we were unsure of how hot demand would be for tickets, John opted to drive to the park office when they opened to buy tickets for the 10:30 ferry (it was only a 5-minute drive from the hotel, so not an inconvenience!). We probably also would have been fine arriving 30 minutes or so early, but our ferry did seem full.
The 15-minute ferry ride, which winds through pristine marshland, is beautiful!
What to know if you go to Hammocks Beach State Park:
It’s a half-mile walk from the ferry landing to the beach, so you’ll be hoofing it there and back. We all carried something on the walk!
Wagons are allowed on the ferry at the discretion of the boat captain. We did not bring one.
There is a concession stand and bathrooms on the beach. The concession stand has cold drinks, novelty ice cream, chips, and maybe some heartier food? The prices are adorably low: an ice cream sandwich was $.50.
There are no trash cans, so you’ll need to pack out any trash.
Like most beaches, there is very little shade (duh). Sunscreen is important!
When we arrived at the beach and set up our spot around 11, we were dismayed to be swarmed by small biting gnats. We opted to take a long walk down the beach first thing to avoid them, which worked well. By the time we were back at our things an hour later, the wind had picked up and sent the gnats packing. So maybe morning isn’t the best time to visit?
What to do at Hammocks Beach State Park:
Bear Island is absolutely gorgeous! Pristine really is the perfect word to describe it. Our kids (6, 3, and almost 1) enjoyed walking on the beach, hunting for shells (we found whole sand dollars!), digging in the sand, and wading in the water (which was a balmy 80 degrees when we visited in June). We picnicked, we got ice cream sandwiches, and we even saw three dolphins surfacing just offshore!! Highlight of the day for sure. The ferry ride itself was another highlight!
What to bring to Hammocks Beach State Park:
With three young kids at a remote location, there were a few helpful things we brought beyond the beach basics:
Ergo | John carried Annie for the walk to and from the ferry and up and down the beach. She fell asleep while we beach combed, which was a great way to sneak in her morning nap.
Shibumi shade | This was only our third outing or so with our Shibumi, and my personal jury is still out for the price. But it is a snap to put up and gets major points (especially on this trip) for being light and easy to carry.
Cooler backpack | We packed gear in the top and our water bottles and Jersey Mike’s subs in the cooler compartment on the bottom.
Beach toys | Definitely worth the space!
Cash | For the concession stand.
Folding chairs | For the parents. Kids sat on towels, ha.
Sun hats for everyone | And lots of sunscreen.
My fellow North Carolinians, Hammocks Beach is totally worth adding to your NC bucket list! We loved our day trip and hope to be back. In the meantime, I’d love to hear: if you’ve observed Juneteenth, how have you celebrated?
P.S. More adventures here and more North Carolina here.
