Stocking stuffers! I love them! After all, what’s better than miniature-sized gifts designed simply to delight, and an excellent opportunity to shop small businesses, to boot?! I’ve done the legwork for us and rounded up some of my very favorite stocking stuffers for kids, women, and men. Of course, depending on how you distribute your budget, some of these would make excellent under-the-tree gifts, too. You get to choose!
Items marked with an * are ones we own.
Stocking Stuffers for Kids:
My philosophy for kids’ stockings (and, really, stockings in general): I’d rather spend a bit more money to stuff with things I know they’ll need, use, and keep over trinkets that don’t cost much but will be quickly tossed. Add something sweet and/or consumable and a little dash of silly fun, and you’ve got yourself a stocking!
— Liberty-print headband* | I put one of these in June’s Easter basket and it is a favorite. The only hard part is picking a pattern!
— Mini Squishmallows! I’ll give one to each child in their stocking, share a few with my sister, and save the rest for Easter baskets and friend birthdays throughout the year.
— A new water bottle*, since they always seem to break or go missing. Our kids are very into putting stickers (like these*!) on theirs.
— The sweetest starter earrings for girls! June has been curious about getting her ears pierced, and this shop is where I’ll turn when she’s ready. Or go for the stick-on variety.*
— Mini “passports” to record his or her drawings, trips, hikes, and more*
Of course, I would be remiss to write a stocking post and not mention my best gals’ genius business, Persnickety Gifts! If you want this whole process to be done in a snap, and support small businesses along the way, simply choose one of their themed bundles and call it a day. The Add-On Shop is also the perfect spot to pick up a few curated items in one place if you don’t need a whole bundle!
Stocking Stuffers for Men:
After 11 years of marriage and almost 19 years together, John and I still do not see eye to eye on stockings. We grew up with very different traditions: in John’s family, there were maybe five items in the stockings, only kids had them, and they were opened before the grown-ups came downstairs. In my family, on the other hand, stockings were a major event: they were large and stuffed full and opened one by one with oohs and ahhs.
Because of this, I gladly take the lead on stuffing every stocking in my family, including my own (more on that below!). While stocking stuffers for men are tough, here are a few ideas that would work for my guy and perhaps for yours!
— Interesting salsa or hot sauce. There’s a local foods store near us where I always pick up a jar or two.
— All the goodies from Trader Joe’s! They always have sweet and savory items that feel fun.
Stocking Stuffers for Women:
Yes, I stuff 90% of my own stocking, too, and honestly? It’s a delight. I include little luxuries I might not normally buy but feel confident I’ll love… which is the benefit of buying for yourself :)
— Liberty print toiletry bags | So cute and reasonably priced for Liberty! Again, the hardest part is choosing just one pattern.
— A petite beauty item that feels like a luxury, like a Merit bronze balm* (I have it in Seine), the creamiest (and easiest to use) highlighter* (I have it in Cosmic Dancer), the Merit blending brush*, or the best tan drops (I mix one into my moisturizer every other night – a bottle lasts forever!).
I read Hunt, Gather, Parent almost a year and a half ago, and the fact that I’m still motivated to chat about it after all these months should tell you something! While it did take me some time to move this post to the top of the queue, it’s not for lack of enthusiasm. This is one of the most interesting, unique, and actionable parenting books I’ve read in awhile, and one I still think about often in our daily interactions as a family. And it’s one I regularly reference in conversation, so this post feels like a natural extension!
A brief summary for the unfamiliar: the author, Michaeleen Doucleff (with her three-year-old daughter!), visits three of the oldest cultures in the world: the Maya in the Yucatan Peninsula, Inuit families in the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. All have found success raising happy, helpful, well-adjusted children, and her mission is to understand why by living with families – and applying their techniques to her own daughter along the way. She shares her findings (including lots of practical takeaways) with the goal of resetting the American paradigm, restoring sanity to parenting, and creating better outcomes for our kids.
The Maya culture, with their unusually helpful, generous, and loyal kids, is the one that inspired Michaeleen to write the book. It’s the section I got the most out of, too – when I went back to look over my notes to write this post, I had far more starred and underlined ideas than I had room to share!
Here are five that have particularly stuck with me:
1. Quit entertaining and instead invite. This starts from the beginning and continues until the teen years. “Toss out the idea that you have to ‘entertain’ the baby with toys and other ‘enrichment’ devices. Your daily chores are more than enough entertainment,” Michaeleen writes from her time with the Maya. I loved this insistence on inviting the child in to the work of the family from the youngest ages (and reminding us that toddlers find it terribly exciting to be invited in). She also describes how Maya parents never discourage a toddler who wants to help, even when they seem rude (like pulling a broom out of the parent’s hand).
“On the flip side, if you constantly discourage a child from helping, they believe they have a different role in the family,” Michaeleen writes. “Their role is to play or move out of the way. Another way to put it: If you tell a child enough times, ‘No, you’re not involved in this chore,’ eventually the child will believe you and will stop wanting to help. Children will come to learn helping is not their responsibility.”
Something else that stood out to me: the Maya continue to do chores alongside the child long after Westerners often want children to do a chore alone. For Westerners, the goal is often to get kids to the point of independence with a chore, but for the Maya, “the invitation is always for together, for doing the chore together.” Of course, the kids will eventually become independently competent. But personally, this freed me from a lot of the frustration of feeling like the goal should be to hand off a task. That’s no longer my immediate goal.
2. Make small asks. Michaeleen describes how the Maya fold in “small, quick, easy tasks that help another person—or the whole family. These are requests performed alongside the parents for a common goal. They are often subtasks of a larger one (e.g., holding the door open while you take the garbage out). “And they are often tiny,” Michaeleen notes, “I mean tiny, tiny (e.g., putting away one pot in the cabinet that’s across the kitchen, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet), but they are real. They really help.”
I loved this takeaway and implemented it immediately. It’s small ((Michaeleen recommends 3 or 4 requests a day) and perhaps obvious, but I hope it will make a big impact long-term. I think it’s a continual reminder to my children that their time is not only their own, that we are all a part of the work of the household and that they are needed and wanted.
3. Try activation. “Instead of explicitly telling the child to do a task, activate their help by telling them you’re starting a chore or by giving a hint that a chore is needed,” Michaeleen describes. By pointing out things like, “it looks like the dog’s water bowl is empty,” or “time to take the trash out,” or “the laundry just dinged,” we’re teaching kids to notice without nagging. Of course, they won’t always respond as we hope, but they’re learning, little by little.
4. Ditch the child-centered activities. Maya parents structure their family’s time to spend the majority of it together, living daily life alongside one another. They do very few, if any, child-centered activities, and Michaeleen also comes away recommending ditching almost all toys. This will feel radical (and even mean!) to some parents.
But in their place, she writes, the Maya parents give their children an even richer experience, something that many Western kids do not get much of: real life. “Maya parents welcome children into the adult world and give them full access to the adults’ lives, including their work,” she notes. Kids are nearby when adults work around the house, take care of the family business, or maintain the family garden. “And young children actually love these activities,” she notes. “They crave them. If we get kids involved in adult activities, that’s play for kids. And then they associate chores with a fun, positive activity.” A virtuous cycle!
While we haven’t thrown away all of our toys or ditched all child-centered activities, I think about this often. This perspective has given us extra freedom to say no to things like kids’ birthday parties that split our time and drive us apart, and instead spend our leisure time doing things we all enjoy together, like going for a bike ride, hiking, swimming at the pool, or playing a board game.
5. Answer misbehavior with more responsibility. We have found this to be incredibly effective with our children. Is one of them whining? Complaining? Harassing a sibling? Throwing toys? We invite them to come work alongside us or direct them to a job that needs doing. While my initial instinct is to get frustrated, speak sharply, or try to make a quick patch of the situation, inviting them in instead of sending them away is often much more effective. Again, at its best, it shows them we need them and we want them in the family, giving them the value and attention they’re seeking in a healthy way. It recalls them to their best self.
There is SO MUCH MORE I could say on this first section alone (let alone the other sections – parenting with calmness! Practicing silence! Child-child teaching! Telling family stories!) but I want to leave you with just enough to whet your appetite for more :)
I’ll end with this. At the beginning of the book, Michaeleen goes to great pains to make the point that the communities she visits are “just like us,” and I get it—on the surface, they might seem different (remote locations, unfamiliar traditions), and she wants to forestall her readers brushing off their advice as irrelevant. In the end, though, I loved that they are different, and unencumbered by many of the beliefs, expectations, and traditions that American culture is saddled with. This book was a neat opportunity to relearn the value in some ancient wisdom that, indeed, American culture generally does find irrelevant or backward. I’ve found it helpful and thought-provoking, and if you decide to read this book, I hope you do, too!
Now, I’d love to hear: If you’ve read Hunt, Gather, Parent, did you have a favorite takeaway? If not, have I motivated you to pick up a copy? : ) Any thoughts about these takeaways?
While it would be a delight to completely finish each monthly goal, it’s not always possible. Some goals I don’t even touch, while for others, I make progress, but don’t quite close the loop. Such was the case with an item from my July goals: tackling the master closet. I wrote in my August goal update that John and I made great progress but weren’t quite done, and though I didn’t officially list it as an August goal, I’m thrilled to say that this month we went through every shoe, hanging item of clothing, shelf, and drawer in our closet and bedroom. We kept only what we love and made sure it all has a neat and organized home (with the help of two of these to corral our drawers). What a sense of accomplishment!!
One other thing to mention here at the top: behind the scenes, I am preparing a new series for September and October. In the last two years, we’ve tackled blogging and working part-time as a mom when the leaves start to change – it seems fall brings with it the energy to dive into some meatier topics! This next topic is one I feel passionately about discussing and also that I know needs to be addressed with great care – because when it is talked about online, it’s generally in the most tribal and discouraging way. As I’ve been prepping, I have been continually thankful that you trust me to lead conversations like this. I do not take it for granted.
Something fun: in this series you will be hearing not just from me, but from a few trusted, real-life friends, as well. For those who were around for the popular Marvelous Mama series of a few years back, I hope this gets you excited :)
Because it’s always interesting and helpful to see your guesses, feel free to take a stab in the comments as to what our fall topic is this year! I hope to publish the first post on Tuesday.
This is not a glamorous picture, but I snapped it because it’s an accurate representation of what my quick + potent planning session looks like every Sunday. PowerSheets with monthly calendar, weekly notepad, laptop, blog planning clipboard, lots of markers :)
On my calendar: — Our anniversary trip to Charleston! It will be much shorter and simpler than last year’s ten-year celebration in Mexico, but we are SO looking forward to it. — Our annual camping trip with the Rays! We are headed to a lakeside campsite in Virginia and they are bringing their boat! — The first day of fall! We’ll bake apple cider scones for our family and June’s teachers, a tradition we started seven years ago.
What I’m loving right now: — Grab your tissues – “At the Table” by Josh Garrels is a beautiful tearjerker that will get you right in the feels if you’re a parent. Hurts so good. — This podcast episode is basically the story of my life. Like everything from Morgan Housel, it packs a punch in an efficient package – here, in less than 15 minutes. — June requested more daffodils and tulips in our yard, so I ordered this mix of butterfly daffodils and this mix of tulips. I love that they ship at the right time for planting in your garden zone!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
New segment alert! I thought it could be fun to highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Maybe this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in August: — As You Wish | Even though I would classify myself as just a fan (and not a super-fan) of The Princess Bride, this book was a delight! Written by the author who played Wesley, it includes tons of behind-the-scenes details from the making of the movie as well as commentary from the all-star cast. A fun summer read! — Raising Emotionally Strong Boys | I liked but did not love this book. While I adore David and Sissy, it didn’t feel like this book pulled out much more than they talk about in the RB&G podcast. — Red Rising | I first read this book in 2014, then again in 2017, but when my sister was reading it for the first time on vacation, I couldn’t resist pulling it back out. Described as a cross between The Hunger Games and Ender’s Game, it’s also wholly its own distinct world that will grip you from the start. — The Vanderbeekers and the Hidden Garden | June and I continue our parallel reading of this series :) Just the sweetest!
My reading list for 2023!I’m 19 / 24 so far for the year, which is officially more than I’ve ever completed in one of these challenges!!
Revisiting my August goals: Make plans for our anniversary trip to Charleston (We sadly didn’t get a reservation for FIG, but are otherwise set.) Clean out the art basket and clean off the top of my white dresser (Done! Just in time to start accumulating with the new school year :)) Buy bins for each kids’ mementos and artwork and sort items from the current joint box into them (Done! More details here.) Tackle the pantry Edit June in June, Volume 8
September goals: — Work out 3 hours each week (I just listened to this podcast episode and feel motivated to experiment this month… we’ll see how it goes!) — Tackle the garage — Film Sheptember — Make our 2015-2019 photo album — Write and design the Articles Club guide — Book a fall family photo session — Share the first half of the new blog series
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
Happy almost-fall, friends! Feel free to comment on the new series topic or anything else on your mind!
The daffodils are blooming in our backyard and the weather has been delightful these past few weeks. There are a few in water on our kitchen table right now – a gift. And another: your birthday well wishes. They were so thoughtful and kind, and one of the best parts of my day. Thank you, thank you. Onward to 36! :)
On my calendar this month: — My favorite kids consignment sale! I’ll be volunteering on Friday morning, so come say hi if you see me :) — The Survivor 44 premier! The Ted Lasso season 3 premier! Lots of good TV to look forward to this month. — Easter basket shopping with all three kids. I’ll go on individual mini shopping trips to Target with each kiddo to choose items for baskets we donate through a local program. One of my favorite traditions! There’s more in this highlight.
What I’m loving right now: — These Souper Cubes sat in my house for over a year before I tried them (long story), but wow am I glad I did! They definitely qualify as something you don’t think you need, but that end up making life just a smidge better. It is SO much easier to freeze and thaw manageable portions of soups without dealing with the mess of ladling liquid into a plastic bag or squeezing it out of one. (We’ve also successfully frozen and thawed mac and cheese and rice dishes.) — I enjoyed this piece from AHP on archiving the teen self. Lots to chew and reminisce on! — Brooke Ligertwood’s new live album, Seven, has been on repeat over here. Perfect background music while prepping dinner :)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in February: — Deep Work | Though the author’s writing was a little supercilious, I took several practical ideas away from this book – most notably, grand gestures and timed internet breaks during the day. He also expounds on the virtues of time blocking, which you know I love! — The Maid | Though some of you pushed back on my calling this book “delightful” in this year’s reading list, I’m going to gently push back again, because I really do think delightful fits, ha! Or at least, I was delighted by it. Yes, it’s a thriller, but it’s not scary or stressful – just a really good story with a memorable narrator, endearing characters, and a heartwarming resolution. I loved it.
Starting out strong with my reading list for 2023! Here it is, if you’d like to follow along.
Revisiting my February goals: Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos (I made progress!!! This goal has been on my list for months (IYKYK), so completing January through June feels like a huge win – even if it shouldn’t, ha!) Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2022 Tackle our upstairs hall closet (Yes! See the transformation here. Do you like seeing the process on a Reel? Even if I don’t share it, it’s always motivating to film a time-lapse! :)) Sell or clear out the remaining items from our kitchen refresh (Done! Gifted them all on our neighborhood Buy Nothing group.) Share some thoughts here around my birthday (Yes! This post took a bit of a turn from what I had expected, but I’m happy with it.)
March goals: — Cull and sort second half of 2021 photos — Paint our master bathroom cabinets (I’m thinking green!) — Tackle the coat closet — Meet with a lawyer to update our estate planning documents — Make a style guide for the EFM book (basically, a sample page to decide on layout, fonts, text treatment, etc. and get familiar with the Blurb software) — Capture photos of our kitchen and bedroom to share updates – finally!! My sweet friend (and reader!) Anna is coming by to take photos and I am so grateful.
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
