In honor of Earth Day (today!), I wanted to share about something fun we tacked on to Articles Club this week: a stuff swap!
Our beautiful table at Stephanie’s! She is good at what she does! :)
What’s a stuff swap, you ask? In our case, it was a chance to trade our gently-loved items for someone else’s: similar to a yard sale or thrift store adventure, but with only the creme de la creme of items – the treasures you’d be thrilled to bring home after a long day of hunting. Ours was very casual, quick, and simple, but still fun – and it made me want to host a more full-scale swap in the future! Here’s a little bit about how it worked.
Unlike a book swap or a clothing swap, this was a stuff swap, and anything was fair game. Gals did actually bring clothing and books, but there were also beauty items, home decor finds, kids’ stuff, paper products, and more. We limited everyone to bringing just ten items so it didn’t become overwhelming, but I think if the swap was the focus of your event, you could raise the limit!
Some of the goodies and the gals
Steph had set up a folding table in her living room, and as we arrived, we rather unceremoniously arranged our items wherever they fit. This was just fine, but again, if you were going all out, it could be fun to designate different areas for different categories or provide more surfaces/levels to “merchandise” the goods.
To decide who went home with what, we started with a snake draft. (A snake draft, if you’re not familiar, goes like this: person A picks, person B picks, then person C, C, B, A.) We did two snake draft rounds and then opened up the floor for everyone to choose any remaining items they’d like. No fist fights ensued, but there was plenty of QVC-esque marketing of items, ha!
Early picks included a countertop compost bin; a pair of Hunter boots; Anthro coffee mugs; pretty tea towels; the Floret, Elizabeth Holmes, and Annie F. Downs books; a cocktail shaker; heart-shaped cake pans; and a wooden charcuterie board. There were also cozy sweatshirts, a grab bag of greeting cards, candles, and even a few Drunk Elephant items.
For my part, I was pleased to snag a cozy cream sweater (above), jean shorts, a trio of glass candlesticks, and a leopard shift dress. Our youngest and most stylish member, Adelyn, brought the sweater, and even though it was an item she was getting rid of, I snagged it without a second thought, ha!
Any items that weren’t claimed went home with the original owner. It was a welcome opportunity to clear out a few things that felt too special to send to Goodwill but were no longer serving our closets or homes. And a lovely way to live out our article theme for the month: sustainability and green practices!
Have you ever been to a stuff swap? Or a swap of any kind? What kind of swap would you want to host? (I think a cookbook swap would be fun!)
I’m not exactly sure how to feel about my goals as we wrap up the first quarter of 2022.
On the one hand, I have objectively made some fantastic progress so far with my 8 goals for the year. And that’s wonderful, because they’re all things that really matter to me! On the other hand, that progress seems to have come, either directly or indirectly, at the expense of two of my very favorite things: writing here and reading. (I’ve read three books so far this year – very slow for me – and am continually overestimating how many blog posts I’ll be able to share in a month.)
Are you familiar with the idea of equilibrium and disequilibrium in child development? Kids’ abilities often develop at different rates – they might experience a surge in their physical abilities, but lag in their ability to express themselves. When their various abilities are out of sync, they’re in disequilibrium and more easily frustrated; when their abilities even out, they’re in equilibrium and generally happier and at ease.
I think I might be in a little bit of the grown-up version of disequilibrium right now. That feels like a good way to describe the work of balancing competing priorities – with some surging ahead and some lagging behind – as other factors (growing kids, our social schedule and activities) shift underneath. I know we all experience this at different times – sending a hug if it’s hitting you in this season, too! This, too, shall pass.
Our St. Patrick’s Day after school snack
On my calendar this month: — Opening night of our high school’s spring musical! One of our beloved babysitters is the lead and June is excited to bring her flowers. — Jekyll Island for spring break! Yes, we’re headed back… this time with another family member in tow! — A trip to the WRAL Azalea Gardens when everything’s in bloom.
What I’m loving right now: — I know it’s old news, but John and I watched Only Murders in the Building a few weeks ago and it was an absolute delight. I am predisposed to love anything Steve Martin and Martin Short do together, Selena Gomez rounded out the trio perfectly, and the sets were gorgeous. It’s one of those shows that I wish I could experience watching for the first time a second time. — I have tried MANY kinds of natural deodorant over the years (Schmidt’s, Acure, Native…). Most were good-enough initially, but all seemed to lose their efficacy over time. My newest find is a little less flashy but, several months in, doing a superlative job. Summer will be the real test, but so far I highly recommend! — I listened to this episode of Honestly right after I read “Your Bubble is not the Culture,” and I thought they intersected in interesting ways. Made me think of a pairing we’d dig into for Articles Club!
As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in March: — Gentle and Lowly: I loved this book, which was unlike anything I’d read before. Based on Matthew 11:28-29, one of the only places in the Bible where Jesus describes himself (“I am gentle and humble in heart”), it’s a quiet, ponderous read that invites you to take it in slowly: it examines one small piece of scripture per chapter, and leans on a lot of writing from the Puritans (yes, really). My biggest takeaway was that rather than drawing away from or merely tolerating his people in their sin, that is when Jesus loves us the MOST – because he loves us so much, and hates sin so much, his love for us is most “activated” when he sees us hurt by it. (Kind of similar to seeing a loved one suffer from a cancer.) As humans, we constantly underestimate the overwhelming love of Jesus and God the Father, but this book helped to illuminate it for me.
Revisiting my March goals: Cull and sort the first six months of 2021 photos (No real progress here – other things took priority!) Lay out 2013 in family album Lay out 2014 in family album and send it to print! (Waiting on a 40% off sale – which happens every other month or so – to pull the trigger, but it is in the cart and ready to go! HOORAY!!!) Finish the Best of EFM page (Ditto to photo sorting) Complete the third month of our fam Peloton challenge (Done! This was a much-needed and enjoyable kick start to our “comeback tour,” as John and I like to call it.) Do PT exercises daily (Almost daily!) Visit two community groups (One didn’t end up working out with our schedule, but we visited the other and it was lovely! Will continue!) Follow the Matthew reading plan Memorize another piece of scripture with June Buy a small freezer for our garage (Not yet… marital conversations continuing…) Refresh mantel for spring (with the help of this cutie garland from my friend) Prep for Easter baskets Book camping trip (Done! We’ll be glamping for our tenth-anniversary trip!!)
April goals: — Cull and sort the second six months of 2021 photos (hope springs eternal?) — Design and print camping tees for our tenth-anniversary trip — Choose format for EFM book and complete years 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011 (this feels like a MASSIVE goal) — Write down 2-3 weeks of “brainless” meal plans — Choose a way to serve at church on Sunday mornings — Make a final kitchen contractor decision and get a start date on the books (we’re so close!) — Clean out kitchen cabinets in advance of our kitchen project — Take our first bike ride as a family of five!
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2022 goals!
Do we want to talk about disequilibrium and equilibrium, or does that just make us feel tired, ha?Which are you experiencing right now, if you’d like to share, or what’s a trade off you’re currently wrangling? (Here’s a perennial one of mine.)
I’m not telling you anything new when I say that making time for friends – let alone making new ones – takes effort as an adult. Without some of the built-in opportunities for togetherness we enjoy when we’re younger, plus all of the time-consuming responsibilities of being an adult, making and keeping plans with the people I care about can feel like a part-time job.
And that’s just the logistics! If you’re an introvert like me, there can be a whole other level of fatigue from the vulnerability of putting yourself out there over and over again. Despite this, I’m always a bit shocked when I look around and realize (with much gratitude!) that I actually do have thriving friendships in my life. And one thing has been a game changer: systematizing them. Incredibly unromantic, incredibly helpful :)
Basically, I realized that my most consistent friendships – in many cases, the ones that feel the closest – have an automatic cadence. We’ve figured out the best and easiest way to spend time together and now we replicate it over and over. Here’s what that looks like for me, and how you might try this in your life if it sounds like something you need…
1. Name the friendships that matter most in this season. Get out a piece of paper and literally write down all of the friendships in your life right now – close by and far away, old and new, couple friends and college friends and church friends and mom friends and work friends and neighborhood friends and parents-of-your-kid’s-friends friends. Mark the ones you’d most like to nurture in this season of life.
2. For each priority relationship, brainstorm the best way to enjoy each other’s company. In some cases, this might simply be naming something that’s already in place. If not, maybe you can build off a rhythm that already exists, or replicate something you’ve enjoyed in the past. (An important point: the goal is not necessarily to have more social engagements, though that may end up happening. The goal is to make it easier to see the people who matter most.)
Another small aside: do you ever struggle with feeling like you’re the one who always extends the invitation? Does that feel unfair? Even though it is factually not true in my case (and probably not in yours!), the perception can leave me feeling vulnerable and resentful.
In recent years, though, I’ve successfully turned this feeling on its head. I GET to choose the activities that sound fun to me and work with my season of life! I GET to be the one to delight my friends! Instead of waiting for other people to ask, I can extend the invite with joy in my own time.
3. Implement the routine and make it sticky. No need to call up each friend and have a formal conversation, but if you’re suggesting a new rhythm, it might be helpful to broach the subject directly (“what do you think about meeting up for a walk on Thursday mornings?”). Once you’ve agreed to a rhythm (with the understanding that you can always adjust as life requires!), find a way to automate the planning. Usually, this looks like choosing a standing date (the first Friday of the month, every Monday morning) or putting the next date on the calendar before you part ways.
Of course, it goes without saying that even if you have a way you usually spend time with someone, that doesn’t mean you can’t ever do anything different. Of course you can! This is just an easy way to remove the burden of feeling like you need to reinvent the wheel every time you want to hang with a friend.
My friendships in adulthood have evolved alongside my life stage. They looked one way when we were engaged and newly married, another when we had just one baby, and now another when we have multiple school-age kids. Here are a few of the current friendship rhythms that are giving me life:
— Articles Club, of course! We meet on a certain day each month, and our gathering for discussion and dinner is a delightful way to spend time with ten wonderful friends. Several years in, we all know to keep “our” Tuesday evening clear on the calendar.
— Many of you may remember that I worked with Kristin and Lisa for several years at Southern Weddings. Lisa and I literally sat next to each other five days a week, so we didn’t really need an excuse to spend time together outside of work. When SW retired, though, we went several years only seeing each other sporadically. Then, a few months into the pandemic, we cautiously met up on Lisa’s porch for Prosecco and snacks after kiddo bedtime one evening. We set a date to meet up the next month before we left, and I don’t think we’ve missed a month in the last year and a half.
— Our annual camping trip with the Rays is a guaranteed weekend of late-night fireside chats and kiddo bonding.
— Making Fridays even sweeter: we do preschool pick-up at the same time as two other dear families, walk to a nearby bakery together for after-dinner treats, and let the kids run around while the grown-ups swap work-week updates and weekend plans for an hour.
— New babies have us a little out of our routine, but a neighborhood friend and I were in a great rhythm of early-morning walks every other week or so.
— Pandemic notwithstanding, I stumbled into a pattern of hosting a larger party once a year for my best gals (like the garden party or book swap party). This is a great catchall opportunity to be with those friends I might not see on a regular basis and a fun chance to flex my party-planning-loving heart! Fingers crossed I can make the potluck party I’ve been dreaming up for two years happen this spring…
There are more examples I could give, and more rhythms I have ideas for but have yet to implement, but I hope this gives you something to consider as you think through your own friendships! Like many of the best ideas, this is a very simple concept – but one that has paid dividends in my life in recent years.
If you have a friendship rhythm that’s working for you, I’d love to hear about it!
I have been writing these year-in-review posts since 2012, the year John and I were married. They’re often a feat to push out, publishing as they do in the last week of the year, when family time is the priority and free time is scarce. But they’re also always worth it. These are some of our favorite posts to look back on, because even though the contours of our years might have similar curves – we’ve been picking strawberries since that first year, after all – the particulars change memorably.
I’m not sure if I’m just lucky or optimistic or delusional (maybe a bit of all three?), but my family and my faith make it easy to see the bright side of even a tough year. Thanks for taking a walk down memory lane alongside me before we turn our eyes to 2022…
We kicked off the year by celebrating our best five-year-old and with a first project from the now-famous baking book: cake pops! The kids scraped together enough snow in our one dusting to create a snow alien and I struggled to formulate and share my 2021 goals amidst the fatigue of the first trimester. I also (finally!) finished our happy upstairs bathroom refresh.
On the blog, I shared my 2021 reading list as well as this funny little post about research studies that seemed to encapsulate for many of you what you love about EFM.
There were celebrations of all kinds in February! We celebrated my birthday here on the blog with a two-partQ&A, we celebrated Valentine’s Day with the most fun mailbox, and we celebrated a normal anatomy scan and finding out we were adding a sweet baby girl to our family!!! On the blog, I shared one of my most memorable posts from the year, at least in my mind.
We kicked off April by worshiping outdoors for Easter, a true delight! This was our first time back at church since the pandemic began and was long awaited. We ate many meals outside, cheered June on at soccer, and took the first of many trips to the strawberry patch. I enjoyed the sweet spot of pregnancy, when it wasn’t too hot and I wasn’t too large or tired :) On the blog, I finally posted another Marvelous Money installment: Investing 101!
Life in May was very sweet, as recorded in this post! We took advantage of the beautiful weather to pick more strawberries, picnic, cheer at a Bulls game, fly kites, and visit many flower gardens and playgrounds. We took a weekend trip to Charlottesville to meet up with John’s sister and family, we took maternity family photos, and June finally cashed in her tea and pedicures Christmas present, one of my favorite memories of the year. Of course, life took a turn at the end of May when John ruptured his Achilles’ tendon while playing tennis. He attended June’s preschool graduation on crutches and went in for surgery the next day.
On the blog, I shared some of our favorite dad’s wardrobe favorites just in time for Father’s Day.
June! I think this month was a sweet spot for many of us, coming as it did with the ease of COVID in many parts of the country. I feel so grateful we were able to gather safely for our backyard garden party and celebrate the arrival of three new babies. We counted down to Annie’s arrival with pool trips, blueberry picking, our niece staying with us for a week to attend pony camp with June, and enjoying my parents’ extended stay as best we could.
July was the turning point of our year, as we welcomed our youngest daughter, Susanna Liberty, into the family just eight days into the month. We are still praising God for a healthy pregnancy and healthy delivery, albeit in less-than-ideal surroundings :) Once discharged from the hospital, July was spent with both John and I on parental leave, soaking up our squishy baby and adjusting to life as a family of five. June had the biggest adventure of any of us: she traveled to Maine with my family for her first solo trip to the Island just a week after Annie was born. We missed her so much, but she had the BEST time with cousins and grandparents and aunts and uncles!
Blog posts were scarce in August, but lots of life was happening at home! John went back to work after six weeks of leave (although still mostly from home), June started kindergarten, and I adjusted again to a new daily rhythm (with smoothies). I dropped almost entirely off of Instagram as we prepared for elementary school (including with a back-to-school dinner!), but I did squeeze in a post of fall outfit inspiration. I’m pleased to report I’ve had fun adding a little variety to my daily looks in the second half of the year!
September marked the official close of summer, and we looked ahead to fall with John back on his feet (hooray!). We actually checked off everything on our seasonal fun list except a visit to the Museum, including a long-awaited trip to WaterColor with John’s extended family. It was a dream! More about our stop in Decatur on the way down, too. And June lost her first tooth! And we got to ride on Thomas for Shep’s birthday!
We celebrated 13 years of blogging on EFM with a rather epic three-part series: on nuts and bolts, on content, and a grab bag. Those were some of my favorite posts to write, and I think some of your favorites to read, but man, they wiped me out!
I returned to work in October just in time for the PowerSheets launch and with reduced hours (down to 30 per week). The adjustment has gone smoothly on the home front – drop offs and pick ups and our daily schedule are falling into place as I’d hoped, though we continue to fine-tune! – but it’s been a steeper curve at work, where I’m still trying to figure out what can stay and what must go in a shorter amount of time each day. I’m grateful to have the challenge, though, and God has truly given our entire team so much grace and mercy as we closed out the year.
We celebrated six years of Articles Club in October – one of the joys of my life! – squeezed in a backyard camping trip with the Rays, ate our way around the State Fair, and carried off my favorite family Halloween costume yet. (I think we’ve peaked.) We also took one of my favorite trips of the year, to Black Mountain, which I haven’t recapped yet but will soon. It was a little slice of magic!
We wrapped up Shep’s first soccer season in November and June began ballet and tap again after a pandemic-hiatus. We made our first gratitude tree and were VERY grateful to bring home our new family car after a five-month wait (!). We finally hosted June’s first sidewalk bakery and closed out the month celebrating Thanksgiving at our brother- and sister-in-law’s new home in Virginia with grandparents, too.
December saw the return of several of our favorite holiday traditions, including our town’s Christmas parade and pancake breakfast, the Nutcracker with cousins, and our favorite Duke Chapel Christmas concert with the Rays. We ended the year with a double-dose of Christmas: Christmas Eve and morning with my parents and sister here in North Carolina, then hopping in the car on Christmas afternoon for a week in Connecticut with John’s family. Annie even got to meet my grandmother (her great-grandmother) for the first time, which was the sweetest capstone to 2021.
Friends, thank you for indulging me. No matter the year, these posts are such a treat for me to write, and always some of my favorites to look back on years later. They help me to notice the good things, do my best to facilitate more of them, and remember to thank God for every delight (and for being with us in the struggles) along the way.
I know I’ve said it before, but I am SO excited for what we’ll discuss here in 2022. Thank you for being here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. My 2022 goals are just about ready to share, so I’ll see you soon! :)
