Our skin is something many of us don’t appreciate in the present, only looking back and realizing “those were the good old days” a few years out. I’ve been guilty of that, for sure — I had angst about the condition of my face in my teens and earlier twenties — but I’m happy to say that I really, really appreciate my skin these days. It’s not perfect, but I’ve worked hard to take care of it and I now realize how good I have it!

Though beauty and style ranked near the bottom in the list of your favorite topics in my most recent survey, many of you requested posts about my beauty and skincare routines in the open-ended section… so here we go! Happy to oblige :)

To give you a little background, in high school I used prescription topical treatments like Differin and Tazerac to help with some acne, mostly on my forehead. I never really felt like they did much, and I wouldn’t say my skin cleared up until I stopped sucking it dry and started giving it more moisture. Though I rarely breakout, my face can be both dry and oily, and moisture, I’ve found, is the key to balancing it all out.

Most of the products I use I’ve found either from blog recommendations or makeup artists with whom I’ve worked. There aren’t many products I’ve tried over the years that have impressed me enough to place a reorder (the ultimate stamp of approval!), but the majority of the ones I’m sharing here have stood the test of time.

Rise and shine! Here’s my morning routine:

1. Wash with charcoal soap. This soap was a game changer for me! It and the moisturizer in my evening routine are my two MVPs. This soap went a long way toward balancing my oily/dry issues and improving the texture of my skin. It leaves my skin feeling clean but never tight. Plus, at $12 per bar, it is an INSANE bargain — I have been using my first bar for a year this month, and still have half a bar left to go!! Insider tip: cut your bar into four smaller bars using a sharp knife – it’s more manageable to hold and I think helps it last longer! I keep mine on a little butter dish next to the sink.
2. Moisturize. True story: after reading this Beauty Uniform on Cup of Jo, I went out and bought almost everything this girl recommended — I guess her skin was very compelling!! The Ordinary products didn’t end up working out for me, but I really like this lightweight moisturizer for daytime. One pump is enough for a light application all over my face.
3. Remove any remaining eye makeup from the day before. After trying several drugstore removers that hardly did anything and burned my eyes, I returned to the ridiculously expensive but extremely effective Bi-Facil. A bottle lasts me about a year.
4. Apply sunscreen. I am hyper-vigilant about wearing sunscreen on my face and neck every day, and for me, sunscreen in another product doesn’t cut it. If there’s ONE piece of advice every dermatologist gives, it’s this one, so I figure it behooves me to take it! Right now I’m using a basic Neutrogena SPF 45, but my current tube is almost empty and I’ve ordered a highly-rated Elta MD sunscreen to try. We’ll see if I like it enough to justify the price!
5. Apply deodorant. I’ve used natural deodorant in the past (Schmidt’s), but didn’t like that I had to apply it with my fingers and never felt like it was particularly effective. The geranium Primally Pure one, though, has made me a big fan! It’s not an antiperspirant, so I do still sweat when wearing it depending on my activity level, but I smell good at the end of the day :)
6. Swipe on lip balm. I also use Primally Pure lip balm, but I’ve been known to use Chapstick in a pinch!

Time for bed! This is how I end the day:

1. Wash with charcoal soap. I use a makeup eraser cloth to remove most of my eye makeup at the same time.
2. Swipe on toner with a cotton round. Honestly, I’m really not sure what this toner does for my skin… and thus I’m not sure I will reorder it once I finish the bottle! However, since I’m happy with my skin overall, removing any one step makes me nervous, ha! This recommendation came from the same beauty routine post I mentioned above.
3. Dab on eye cream. This is a reasonably-priced, often-recommended product that many people I know use, but I’m not sure it’s made any difference for me. I have some pretty serious laugh lines, so maybe that’s just my thing, but I’d be open to trying something new once this one’s done!
4. Moisturize. I saved the best for last! I’ve used a few different deep moisturizers over the years, but this one is hands-down my favorite – and possibly the linchpin in my whole routine (along with the charcoal soap!). Skin Dew feels so light and sinks so effortlessly into my skin, yet is SO moisturizing and balancing. It’s expensive, but a pea-size amount goes a long way for me, and the price is totally worth it for the results I see. Plus, I love supporting a Southern small business! In the past, I’ve used Moon Fruit, Hydro Boost, and Skin Savior for this step, but Skin Dew outshines all of them, in my opinion.

Two more things:
— I do these steps every day, without fail.
— I almost never touch my face during the day. I think I read this advice in a magazine in middle school, and it stuck with me very strongly, ha!

So there you have it – a mix of drugstore, high-end, small business, and household names. I would love to hear the standout skincare products in your routine, and whether you use an eye cream that you think actually makes a difference! :)

P.S. I have an unopened container of Skin Savior I’d love to pass along to someone, if you’re interested! Just leave a comment and I’ll pick a winner at the end of the week :)

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I’ve been going over my survey results recently (as you may have noticed!), and one of the most frequently-requested topics was… fitness. You very kind ladies wanted to hear about my fitness routines, and to that I say: LOLOLOLOLOLOL. There are many things I feel I’m qualified to talk about, but fitness is probably not one of them.

I don’t have a great track record, after all — at least post-pregnancy. Before June arrived, John and I had a good routine going: we ran a few times a week, would take long (20-30 mile) bike rides on the weekends, and played tennis with friends. I also once used up a full 20-class pass at Pure Barre and for a few months I became a ballerina again before scheduling issues got in the way.

Currently, my main exercise comes in the form of a brisk walk as many evenings as possible (usually 5/7 in warm weather months!). We also hike maybe one weekend a month, and June and I go for a walk amble many afternoons, as well.

Noticeably absent from that list? Anything approaching strength training, and anything that results in heavy breathing. So clearly there are holes in my fitness routine that I look forward to addressing when our kiddos are a little bit older and/or we have a little more room in our budget for babysitters.

BUT. Just because I can’t at this stage of my life completely overhaul my routine as I might like, that doesn’t mean I’m completely stuck. Little by little progress can add up, and I’ve learned I’m most likely to make that progress when it’s easy, for better or worse.

Recently, reading The Tech-Wise Family gave me an idea. Here’s the quote that inspired me:

As popularized in Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein’s fascinating book by the same name, nudges are small changes in the environments around us that make it easier for us to make the choices we want to make or want others to make. Nudges don’t generally make us do anything, but they make certain choices easier and more likely. They don’t focus so much on changing anything about our own preferences and ability to choose well; they simply put the best choice right in front of us and make the wrong choice harder.”

Longtime readers may recall this is very similar to the idea from The Happiness Advantage that inspired our guitar placement to great effect.

Once again, I put the best choice right in front of myself: I moved my free weights to the floor of our master bathroom. Then, while June takes her nightly bath, I work my way through a few arm exercises: bicep curls, tricep curls, and other-things-I-don’t-have-a-name-for-including-raising-my-arms-out-to-the-side. I do each until I can feel the burn, and then I move on to the next one. Nothing too fancy.

I’m going to be in the bathroom for those ten minutes anyway, the weights are already there, and so there is almost literally NO WAY for me to avoid doing those arm exercises. That’s the kind of workout I need! I’m proud to say I’ve already moved from two to five pound weights :)

Have y’all ever used this trick to form a habit? It’s a good one!

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Hello, friends! Happy May! I thought I’d try something a little different for this month’s goals post. In my most recent survey, a few of you said you didn’t care for goals posts (though the majority of you love them!). Separately, I’ve toyed with the idea of writing a periodic “what I’m loving” post, but have never followed through. What I’m proposing is a bit of a hybrid: in addition to my usual inclusions, I’ll add in a few extra categories as a window into things that might not make it into a full post but could be fun to share. I’d love to hear what you think!

Without further ado…

On my calendar this month:
— Our sixth annual camping trip with the Rays (praying for good weather!)
— Mother’s Day
— A visit from John’s parents

What I’m loving right now:
— Dresses! Bad news: I am already over pants, shorts, and belly bands this pregnancy. I’m sure I’ll continue to wear them, but right now all I want to wear is dresses. I just bought this one and this one (both non-maternity) from Old Navy, and they are soooo comfy!
— Strawberry picking! We have been five times already – good thing there’s a pick-your-own patch about four minutes from our house :)
— This simple art project! I think June and I will tackle it for Mother’s Day gifts for grandmas and her great-grandma.
— Lettuce! Our garden is stuffed with it. Two of my favorite salads: cobb and this chopped chicken taco version.

What I read in April:
— Nurture Shock: You’ll hear more about this one in my upcoming post on parenting books, but I found it fascinating! Full of both interesting ideas and actionable tips. Kind of like a parenting version of a Malcolm Gladwell or Freakenomics book.
— The Tech-Wise Family: Yes. Just yes.
— Commonwealth: A novel recommended as a favorite by one of my most avid reader friends. It took me a bit to get into, since the characters aren’t the most likable, but I enjoyed it in the end! I was also glad to finally have read something by Ann Patchett, since she’s a legit legend.
— Savor: Even though this is a devotional, I’m currently reading it like a novel, one month per day. Shauna’s writing is just so nice to sink into at bedtime! :)

Revisiting my goals for April:
Complete the purging of the remaining areas on our downstairs list (more progress made here!)
Clean out and organize the blue room closet
Fill out the two-year-old section of June’s baby book
Start a wish list for baby number two
Inquire with three more designers/services about e-design
Gather and cull all loose printed photos and sort them into new storage boxes
Organize and cull existing photo albums

May goals:
— Make a plan for new baby’s nursery
— Purposefully plan for Memorial Day, since we’ll be staying local
— Do something nice for June’s teachers for Teacher Appreciation Day (May 8th!)
— Fill out the two-year-old section of June’s baby book
— Inquire with three more designers/services about e-design
— Decide which baby book to use for new baby
— Organize my 2018 personal photos into my new organizational folder system

If you have goals for the month (or something you’re loving right now!), I’d love to hear in the comments! And what do you think about this new format? Fun? Too much all at once? I’m still undecided, so let me know…

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As I wrote the How We Do It series, there were many topics – big and small – that I knew I would want to revisit at some point in posts of their own. When I got a few questions about how we jointly manage our finances in this post, I knew it was a great one to start with!

Using this beautiful image from Cultivate What Matters of the new Finance Goal Guide, launching today! If you have money goals you’re working toward, I think you’ll love this product!!

Many of the questions centered around why John and I have separate checking accounts. The short answer is that there’s no good reason – ha! Here’s the longer answer:

John and I have separate checking and savings accounts because we opened them before we were married, and there didn’t seem to be any good reason to open a new joint one after saying “I do.” After all, our accounts are at the same bank (and linked, so that we can access each other’s through our own dashboards!), and we of course have each other’s passwords. All accounts opened since our wedding day have been joint ones.

I know many people have strong opinions on joint versus separate accounts. I think many of the opinions, though, stop short of what’s truly important: the state of your heads and hearts trumps the practicalities of how your accounts are set up any day. All of the joint accounts in the world can still lead you to a dead end if you’re not pulling in the same direction.

There is no “his money” and “her money” in our marriage. We have never valued each other or set individual spending levels based on what either of us make at our jobs. The idea of spouses effectively living at different income levels within a marriage is shocking and sad to me, as described in this recent Atlantic article:

They’ll help each other out?? Marriage means joining your financial future just as surely as it means joining your lives. I supported both of us while John searched for a job, and he put money toward my student loans for years without a peep of complaint. Were one of us to lose our job, we would not receive a “handout” from the other person – we would both adjust and bear the burden together.

On a practical note, the main reason there is no “his” or “her” money is that ALL money is fed into our family budget. At that point, we simply have one lump sum of money that we need to decide what to do with, together – it literally no longer matters who brought in how much. Because we’ve set the budget together, if it says we have a certain amount to spend, then that’s how much we have to spend. A budget is a great equalizer in this way, and if you need yet another reason to get on the budget bandwagon, there you go! :)

But back to the Atlantic article:

To that I would say, I don’t believe the money I bring home does or should “fully belong to me” — it’s shared with my husband, just as his money is shared with me.

Unsurprisingly, the arguments in the Atlantic article for why a couple wouldn’t merge their finances aren’t that compelling to me. There is one argument that I think does have validity, at least at the outset, but I don’t think it’s a situation that’s tenable longterm for a healthy marriage. If the two of you don’t have aligned beliefs on money, and aren’t consulting each other on where you’re hoping to go in life, then merging your finances absolutely will be a mess and will lead to arguments. The solution, though, is not to keep things separate — it’s to do the work to get on the same page.

John and I have a bit of an advantage here because we formed our thoughts on money alongside each other, but we also work actively to make sure we stay on the same page. (Hence our regular conversations and bimonthly net worth meetings!). Our friends Nancy and Will found themselves in the opposite situation: they came into marriage with VERY different ideas about how money should be managed. Financial Peace University helped them reach common ground, and they are some of the most inspiring financial stewards we know!

A final note, should you need more convincing: a joint budget not only determines your day to day spending on groceries, clothing, lawn care, and more, but it sets and guides your financial big picture, like how much you’re saving for retirement, how soon you’ll be able to get out of debt, when you’ll squirrel away the amount for a down payment goal, or how much you can give away each year.

And those big picture things? You want to work on them together, because then you will succeed together (and a lot more quickly than if you were working on your own!). There are few things more unifying in a marriage than reaching a major goal together, and if you’re not merging your finances, you’ll miss out on them.

Whew! Clearly this is a topic I’m passionate about, and that Atlantic article brought it all bubbling to the surface! To finish up, I’d love to hear: what goal are you working toward in your finances right now?