Since having a baby, there’s a conversation people love to have with me, and it goes something like this: Wow, isn’t time flying by? How is she so big? Where has the time gone?! Doesn’t it seem like just yesterday that she was born? Soon she’ll be one!

I’m sure even if you haven’t recently had a baby you regularly have a version of this conversation, so you’ll know that the socially-acceptable response is: Yes! I know! Time IS flying by! It seems like the last few months have gone by in the blink of an eye! Can you believe it’s already October?

Two years ago, however, I declared a moratorium on this kind of talk, and I’ve stuck to it ever since. I purposefully try not to let the passing of time be a topic of conversation, especially in reference to its speed. I just refuse to let that be the way I see my life.

It’s more than that, though. It’s not just that I refuse to admit that time is whizzing by; it’s that I really don’t feel like it is. January 7 feels just about exactly as far away as it should at this point, no more, no less. And the trick to that, I think, is something I learned from a very random Art of Manliness article I somehow stumbled on a few years ago. The article is absolutely worth reading in full, but here were my biggest a-has:

Number one: Because our perception of time is intricately tied up with our emotions and memories, our minds filter the info before presenting it to us. When confronted with a scary or novel experience, our brains go into overdrive, recording much more detail than normal. Because the brain lays down such rich, dense memories of those moments, when we later look back on the experience, there’s a lot more “footage” than normal to run through, making the experience seem like it lasted longer than it actually did. On the other hand, when the brain encounters something familiar over and over, it doesn’t have to expend as much time and energy recognizing or recording it.

Number two: There are two types of time perception: prospective and retrospective. Prospective time occurs when you’re in the moment. When you’re busy and a lot is happening, it seems like time is going by quickly. If you’re in a boring meeting, however, you have nothing else to do besides watch the minutes tick by, which makes time seem to slow way down. Retrospective time is how you think on these episodes after the fact. If you’ve been doing something boring, your brain won’t have recorded much “footage,” so it will seem like a quick episode – nothingness – in your memory. If you look back on that boring meeting, it barely registers as a happening in your brain. But when you reflect on a novel experience, your mind has plenty of detailed footage for you to peruse.

Based on this info, one of the best ways to slow down time, and the one I feel has had the biggest effect on my year, is to inject novelty into every day. I have a baby who’s always growing and learning and trying new things, so change hasn’t been hard to come by for the last few months! Being present and experiencing everything alongside her has made time seem to stretch out in the most wonderful way. But I’ve noticed that even little things, like taking a different route on our evening walk, eating dinner on the front porch instead of inside, or doing a crossword puzzle instead of scrolling the internet at night also stretch out my perception of time. Same with going out to a new restaurant on Friday night instead of watching TV on the sofa – the weekend seems so much longer!!

It’s not an overstatement to say that these realizations and small adjustments have changed my life (and my perception of my life!), so I hope they’re equally enlightening to y’all!

More…
Rituals, traditions, and the perception of time
How to slow down time, part two

Joanna Goddard is one of my favorite bloggers (…said every millenial tuned into the online world ever :)). Her posts regularly spark conversation between my friends and I (“Did you see what Jo said about cakes yesterday?”), and one of the highest blogging compliments I’ve ever been paid was a comparison between my Marvelous Mama series and Jo’s My Beauty Uniform.

Anyway, I loved her post earlier this week on signature dishes (inspired by Jenny’s book, which I can’t wait to read!), and thought it would make for fun conversation here, too! Joanna asked, What meals do you remember from growing up? What recipes do you hope your own children remember?

Everyday Occasions

My Mom relied on a relatively small stable of tried and true meals throughout my childhood, and I loved most of them! My favorites included creamy chicken enchiladas (the smell of sauteing green peppers and onions = bliss), macaroni saute (I think a lot of people refer to this as American Chop Suey), and my grandma’s spaghetti sauce. The best of all, though, and my perennial birthday dinner choice, was beef nuggets: an inelegantly named dish from my paternal grandmother that John swears is as bland as a door nail but tastes exquisitely like love to me.

There are meals that go with certain places and events, too. At the Island, we have Mrs. Beisiegel’s Casserole, Southern hash, and shepherd’s pie. At Christmas with my Mom’s side, we eat Aunt Barbara’s potatoes (which I only recently found out are red potatoes mixed with onion soup mix…). With my Dad’s, it’s chocolate cake with seven-minute frosting.

It’s a little different now that I’m the grown-up. John and I cook new recipes all the time, rarely repeating meals more than once a month. There are 120+ pins on my “Recipes we love” board, after all (and 170+ pins on my “Recipes to try” board!). Sometimes I wonder if this is a good thing, whether shopping and cooking would be easier if we relied on just a few tried-and-true options, but for right now, we enjoy the variety.

So what do I think June might associate with home in twenty years? There’s a beef ragu we’ve made for two Christmas dinners in a row, plus my birthday celebration this year, that makes the whole house smell heavenly. The chocolate raspberry pavlova that accompanies almost every summer celebration. The pumpkin chocolate chip muffins that mean fall is here. The chocolate chip pecan cookie dough that’s reliably in our freezer for Bachelor viewing parties. Beef nuggets from her Boo (of course) and potstickers made by Mama Jean. And for all of our exploration, there are a few dinners June will grow up eating regularly, including three pepper pizza; sausage, kale, and chick pea pasta; chana masala; and Kraft macaroni and cheese :)

Friends, I would love to hear: What are your most-loved meals from childhood? Or, if applicable, what meals do you think your children might associate with their childhood? Tell me, tell me!

About a year ago, I posted here about the articles club my friend Stephanie and I were starting. I’m happy to say that our experiment has been a success! We’ve met almost every month since, and the discussion (and snacks, and company) has been great. I thought I’d share a few tips we’ve learned since October, as well as a few of the articles we’ve read! They’re worth looking into whether or not you’re part of a club.

— Find a co-host. It’s nice to share the responsibility of finding articles, sending out details, and starting discussion!

— Have snacks. We meet at 7:30, so we ask everyone to bring a savory snack, a dessert, or a drink. Since we usually meet at my house, I try to make a warm and more substantial offering, like a hot dip, pigs in a blanket (my favorite!), or samosas. It’s the perfect excuse to try out new Pinterest recipes :)

— Gather a group. We’ve met with as few as four ladies and as many as fifteen, but I’d say the ideal number is between six and eight.

— Choose your articles. Stephanie and I have each picked the articles a few times, and a number of other gals have shared favorites, too. We choose 2-3 articles on a particular subject for each meeting, and the leader usually comes prepared with a few questions or thought-provoking lines from the articles to start us off. Here are a few of the topics we’ve covered:

Family
The Myth of Quality Time
The Family Stories That Bind Us
Motherhood, Screened Off

Friendship
Friends of a Certain Age
Why It’s Smart to Court Your Friends
How Friendships Change in Adulthood

Food
A High Price for Healthy Food
What Food Says About Class in America
Why are Millenials so Obsessed with Food?

Relationships
The Questions that Will Save Your Relationships
Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear
Love Languages

Kids and Tech
Don’t Post About Me on Social Media, Kids Say
How I Protect My Family on Instagram

Stuff
Downsizing the American Dream
Stuffocation
How Far Can Amazon Go?

Etiquette
A Last Bastion of Civility, the South, Sees Manners Decline
27 Etiquette Rules for Our Times
How to Be Polite

Sound like fun? We’re always happy to welcome new gals, so if you’re into snacking, chatting, and reading and live in the Triangle, we’d love to meet you! Just send me an email :)

After seven years in the South, I have come to love SO many things about our sweet, sweet adopted homeland (despite what you may have been thinking after my last post!). Some of the 15 I’m sharing today are about the Triangle (Raleigh, Durham, and Chapel Hill), some are specific to North Carolina, and a few are about the South in general, but I’m grateful for all of them. Here goes!

1. Vibrant churches. I’ll start here because though all of these reasons are fun, this one has been truly life changing. It’s amazing to live in a place where the default is that people are actively engaged in living out their faith, and to have access to earnest, active, flourishing church communities. I have learned and grown SO much by being around the Christians I’ve met since moving here.
2. Biscuits and barbecue. Y’all, the food in the South can’t be beat. Biscuits and (Eastern North Carolina) barbecue are two of my favorite examples, but there’s also fried chicken, pimento cheese, deviled eggs, hushpuppies, red velvet cake… the list goes on, and it’s all finger licking good.
3. Amazing restaurants. The Triangle is overflowing with amazing, innovative restaurants that are constantly striving for excellence. (And I’m not the only one who thinks so: Southern Living named Durham the tastiest town in the South a few years ago!) Between the empires of Ashley Christensen (Poole’s Diner, Chuck’s, Beasley’s, Joule, Fox Liquor Bar, Death & Taxes), Andrea Reusing (Lantern, The Durham), and Matt Kelly (Vin Rouge, Mateo Tapas, Mothers & Sons, Lucky’s Deli), you’ve got more quality spots than most towns can claim.

4. Bluegrass and country. I never listened to either genre before moving South, and now they’re two of my favorites! The Triangle is a great place to listen to bluegrass, especially; I got to see Steve Martin and Edie Brickell play with the Steep Canyon Rangers at Wide-Open Bluegrass a few years ago.
5. Warm ocean. This one’s pretty simple, but worth mentioning: the ocean is C-O-L-D in the north, and W-A-R-M in the South. Makes beach days even more pleasant :)
6. Greenways. The Triangle has miles and miles and miles of greenways, which are perfect for bike riding and evening walks. There’s one in our neighborhood, and we also love the American Tobacco Trail – 22+ miles of trails that wind through three counties.
7. Proximity to mountains. There are plenty of mountains in New England, but they’re all pretty far away from where we lived in Connecticut. Here, we can get to Boone in about two hours and Asheville in four — perfect, since hiking is one of our favorite activities!
8. Weekend trips. The Triangle is a fantastic launching pad for weekend trips! Greenville, Asheville, Charlottesville, Atlanta, Beaufort SC and NC, Charleston, Richmond, Wilmington, and so many more destinations are all options for weekend exploring. (Another one of our favorite activities!)
9. Community events. With three world-class universities, enterprising businesses, and awesome arts organizations in the area, our calendar is stocked with fun and often low-cost activities. Festivals, Durham Bulls games, antique fairs, pop-up shops, outdoor concerts, choral performances, and outdoor movies are a few of my favorites.

10. Duke basketball. Speaking of world-class universities :) John has been a Duke fan since middle school, and it’s a pinch-me kind of thing to live so close to Cameron. Tickets are still hard to come by, but we’ve been to several games since moving here!
11. Swimming holes. I’d never been in an honest-to-goodness swimming hole until I got to NC, but they are delightful — the perfect antidote to blisteringly hot summer days.
12. Warmer winters and springs. I think this is the classic reason to love the South, and definitely the one that most convinces John! We have four solid seasons, but cut out the bitterest cold and the rainiest, most depressing days of “spring” that New England gets in March and April. Instead, we might have a 70 degree day in January, and switch on reliably delightful days in mid-March. John is also very proud of the fact that the sun never goes down before 5pm here.
13. Southern architecture. Creaky farmhouses, gracious front porches, snuggly bungalows, plantation drama… yep, the South sizes up pretty well against New England.
14. Great chains. The mall near my house in Connecticut is sad and the butt of many jokes, so the opportunities that come with living in a more metro area still kind of blow my mind. Pretty much every awesome chain you can think of, including Whole Foods, Anthro, Crate & Barrel, J.Crew, Madewell, West Elm, and Sephora, is an easy drive. And of course, NO list of great Southern brands would be complete without mentioning Chick-fil-a — I could write an entire post about all the reasons I love them!
15. Innovation. (Almost) nothing ever changes in my corner of Connecticut, which is both a blessing and a curse. The opposite is true in the Triangle, where things are always changing, growing, trying, failing, building, and experimenting. Sometimes it can feel like a whirlwind, but it’s also exciting, exhilarating, and inspiring. One of my favorite examples? The American Tobacco Campus, which was transformed from urban blight to one of my favorite spaces in Durham a few years ago.

I’d love to hear: What’s your favorite part about the South? Did any of my reasons particularly resonate with you?