Ever since I completed up my 60 Before 30 project, I’ve been considering options for a new iteration. My experience with longer-term goal sets has been overwhelmingly positive; I love allowing them to shape and mark a chunk of my life!

But how to theme it? 65 Before 35 just didn’t sound as jazzy. As I pruned and shaped my collection of ideas for a potential next list, and considered what our life is likely to look like for the next few years, an idea began to take shape.

The driving force in our family right now is paying off our mortgage*. We expect this to happen in the next three to six years, depending on the market’s performance, and until then, we will be making some aggressive trade-offs and sacrifices – forgoing vacations, reducing our grocery budget, delaying clothing purchases, cooking at home, (almost) never going to the movies, not purchasing alcohol, and more.

We believe the freedom of owning our home will be more than worth it, but we’re also not willing to put our young family’s life on hold for the next five years, eating PB&J every night and spending only the absolute minimum.

And here’s the thing: we’re convinced we don’t need to. The fact is, there are amazing amounts of fun and memories to be had for very few dollars. In fact, I’d argue that this list gets at the very best parts of life, the ones we’ll continue to chase long after we’ve put our mortgage to rest: the patience to move slowly, the softness to be delighted, rich and agile minds, deep relationships, confidence in our own ingenuity, a deepening bench of skills, and – above all – golden-hued memories. If these things aren’t luxury, I don’t know what is.

Each item below was carefully chosen, for reasons that may not be immediately clear. Some are unusual, some are pedestrian, and many you might never think to raise to the level of being put “on a list.” You might find it amusing that I included them at all, or worse, Not Fun.

Am I “flattening things that should be enjoyable into tasks“? Am I not fun??

Perhaps not. I am a creature of habit, and despite my best intentions, it’s easy for life to become routine. So, just like we put extra mortgage payments into our budget instead of hoping to stumble upon “extra” sums of money, I am intentionally setting out to create the conditions for delight instead of hoping delight will somehow shoehorn its way into my full life, with the financial constraints we are voluntarily putting on it. What we prioritize, happens. It’s always taken someone’s effort to plan the picnic, organize the lake day, or flip bunny-shaped pancakes. Just because something has been considered and planned doesn’t make it any less magical.

Alright. After that very lengthy preamble, I present to you…

Start: February 28, 2019
End: ??? (Somewhere between 2022 and 2025!)
Items completed: 16
Last updated: July 2022

1. Host a croquet tournament
2. Make potstickers with Mama Jean (December 2021)
3. Teach June the Lord’s Prayer (March 2019)
4. Make a month-by-month landscape tending list
5. Go trail riding at the farm with my family
6. Visit Hammocks Beach State Park (June 2022)
7. Camp at Grayson Highlands
8. Take June to a local high school’s musical (April 2022)
9. Complete a month of thank you notes
10. Host Chinese New Year fun for friends
11. Dance at a ceili
12. Go to BINGO as a family (July 2019)
13. Undertake a nature scavenger hunt for each season (spring 2020)
14. Spend two weeks in a row at the Island
15. Update our Advent calendar with our home’s colors
16. Eat at Waffle House (epic late-night visit with some of my dear coworkers in August 2019!)
17. Go swimming in a mountain lake
18. Host a book swap party (July 2019)
19. Work on a Habitat build
20. Take June to tea at the Carolina Inn or Fearrington (May 2021)
21. Order historical photo albums to get us up to date (2005-2009, 2010-2014, 2015-2019)
22. Enter something in the State Fair
23. Square dance at our town’s arts center
24. Lake day with the Rays
25. Buy bunting to hang on our home for patriotic holidays
26. Listen to all of the Harry Potter books
27. Finish my EFM guide to the Triangle
28. Host a pie party
29. Become an expert at French braiding June’s hair (officially given up on my own)
30. Lead another service at the Island (July 2022)
31. Watch a review at the CGA and go to lunch at the Officers’ Club
32. Take another family on an outdoor souffle adventure
33. Do a home swap with a friend or acquaintance in a place we want to visit
34. Make a new neighborhood BFF couple
35. Put together an ice cream sundae bar, just for us (August 2019)
36. Commission a special art print and give one copy to each family member
37. Take June to her first outdoor movie and pack excellent snacks
38. Organize another Great Island Race
39. Do something with the upstairs bathroom (shared February 2021!)
40. Host a chocolate chip cookie taste-off
41. Touch up the paint throughout our home
42. Teach June to sing patriotic songs
43. Go to rooftop yoga at The Durham with friends (April 2019, with Lisa)
44. Make “For God so loved ____” art for June and Shep
45. Golf as a family at Knight’s Play
46. Take the train somewhere (May 2019 – to Charlotte with June!)
47. Hike another bald
48. Have a full family sleepover with the Rays
49. Teach June to jump rope, trace her body with chalk, and play hopscotch and Spud
50. Finish the path in our alley
51. Plant lots of daffodil bulbs in our backyard
52. Memorize a favorite poem
53. Learn to cut June’s hair (and John’s and Shep’s – May 2020!)
54. Borrow a canoe and go on an adventure
55. Get back in a regular rhythm of playing tennis with the Terhunes
56. Party it up in a glow stick bath
57. Make a better display for my jewelry
58. Real estalk and visit the playground in Trinity Park
59. Explore Morehead Planetarium
60. Introduce June to the art of painted toe nails (May 2019!)

Many of these cost no money. Some cost more than that. More importantly, they all require our attention, capacity for delight, and thoughtfulness. I hope to get to tell many of these stories over the next few years, but if you’re particularly curious about one, by all means – ask away!

*As you may have gathered, we have changed our approach to paying off our mortgage. A Marvelous Money post addressing the topic is coming soon! :)

In October, I shared the happy news that my sister was moving to North Carolina. It was exciting enough to have Kim in Nashville – in the South! a short flight away! – and Nat and Joe in Northern Virginia – a reasonable weekend trip! – but this development was a revelation. Kate and family are now outside of Charlotte, a little over two hours away from us, and that’s closeness of a whole different order.

Since my sister’s arrival about three months ago, we’ve gotten to taste the sweetness of proximity – taking the girls to the Nutcracker, organizing their new home together, texting about North Carolina happenings (since they now matter to all of us!), celebrating birthdays around the same table. And we’ve made plans, so many things to look forward to – trips to the zoo (the perfect halfway point between us!), shopping my favorite consignment sale elbow to elbow, weekend visits with scooter rides and cousins piled in the same room.

You have to understand that I truly never thought this would be our reality. My family always desired to be closer to each other, but everyone seemed firmly ensconced in their separate – widely scattered – states.

So, over the last almost ten years since moving South, we built our own life here. We’ve (slowly) made friends that have become family. We’ve worn traditions like grooves that have become part of our family identity, ones that were once new to us but will always be familiar to our kiddos.

Away from our hometown and our extended family, we turned homesickness into homeyness out of necessity – begrudgingly at first, and then with gusto. We had to make this place our home, even if our family wasn’t her. We couldn’t just wait for them to show up one day.

And I know that even as this was sometimes hard and lonely, it was also a gift, because some new couples in the literal shadow of their parents or hometowns are never quite able to set themselves apart, to establish their own traditions, celebrations, and identities. And we were.

And therein lies the rub. It happened almost immediately: Kate and Co moved in October, and the conversation quickly turned to Thanksgiving. Of course we were going to spend it together, since we were now so close! And of course we wanted to be with family on this most family-centric holiday!

But but but. For the last six years, we’ve eaten Thanksgiving dinner with our dear friends and their parents. Air travel at Thanksgiving is SO expensive, and besides, John has only ever gotten Thanksgiving Day off, making multi-day travel impossible. The Terhunes may not be our actual family, but Thanksgiving at their house has become a deeply-cherished tradition – the only Thanksgiving setting June has ever known!

But how to explain this to our flesh-and-blood family, who understandably assumed we would spend Thanksgiving with them?

It all shook out – we spent Thanksgiving Day with our friends, and then drove over to Charlotte after John finished work on Friday – but not without a small sense of disappointing people, at least on my part.

We are tasting a little bit of what those with family close by know well – the push and pull of obligations and expectations for time and presence. This is not the last time we will face this kind of quandary, and while our lives may be slightly more complicated for it, all I feel is grateful. After all, the only reason we now have more family expectations to navigate, is because we have more family. Thanks be to God.

Friends, I would love to hear what this has looked like in your life. Do you live close to your or your spouse’s immediate family? Have you always done so? If so, how often do you see each other? What have been the best and hardest parts?

Above, the North Carolina welcome box we sent Kate and Co before their move, filled with some of our favorite reasons to love the Old North State: popcorn from Asheville, peach candy, Chapel Hill toffee, a bucket list map, Cheerwine, Videri chocolate, the Western NC jam we served at our wedding, Duke’s mayo, cheese straws, an NC coloring book, the best magazine, and a CAT earth mover in honor of their presence in the state. It was so fun to collect and put together!

I read through last year’s review post as I prepared to write this one, and I was wowed again at the amount of life that has happened, and the amount of change we’ve seen, in the last two years of our family. That’s one reason I love these opportunities to stop and reflect — life is constantly calling us to move fast-fast-fast, but the rhythms of seasons and calendars give us an opportunity to pause and count the fruit.

So here we go – some of our favorite moments of 2018, in our lives and on the blog.

Life on the blog sprinted out of the gate in January with the first four posts in the How We Do It series: Time, Finances, Homes, and Personal Lives! I also shared my Life List Book (and have since had occasion to add several items to its pages). John and I celebrated our 13th dativersary (a tip here) and June’s second birthday (sans party this year!).

A highlight of February was sharing three more How We Do It posts: Work, Relationships, and Spiritual Lives (the last one, Kiddos, posted in March). We announced some VERY happy news and John and I took an early babymoon to Anna Maria Island, one of our most laidback vacations ever (and our first multi-day trip without June!). I also shared my refined vision for our home, which I’m happy to say is slooooowly coming to fruition – more updates to come in the new year! Our church home also broke ground on a new building!

We spent time outside in the beautiful North Carolina spring weather in March. We got and shared the news that we were adding a BOY to our family (and I shared so many thoughts!). I delivered a manifesto on the purpose of EFM and wrote one of the most popular posts of the year: our favorite board games! (Loved your comments!)

We celebrated the resurrection of our Savior at Duke Chapel and celebrated spring by picking strawberries approximately twice a week. We traveled to Georgia for a dear friend’s wedding and learned an important lesson about vacations. On the blog, I shared tips for managing money together (complete with controversial article) and organizing your own childhood memorabilia.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I mused on a variety of kiddo topics: a revelation about parenting, the cost of our first year with a baby, and our you-do-you clothing solution. (We also made a flower craft!) My skincare routine was a fun post to write.

We logged our sixth-annual camping trip with the Rays, spent lots of time outside scootering, welcomed visitors, and celebrated John passing his Certified Financial Planner exam!!

With baby boy’s arrival approaching I think I was on a kiddo kick, because I shared three more kiddo-centric posts in June: what June eats, the plans for Shep’s nursery (reveal coming soon!) and my favorite parenting books. We filmed June in June Volume 3 (they keep getting cuter!!) and I loved sharing this post about my parents – one of my favorites from the year.

And oh yes – we spent two weeks in Connecticut and Maine!! Around those two big trips we tucked in tons of little adventures closer to home, savoring our final days as a family of three.

The highlight of our month (year!) came on the last day of July: John Shepherd Thomas made his arrival! He has delighted us from the start with his sweet sideways smiles — we couldn’t love him more! At least for now, all my hesitations about having a son have been put to rest :)

In less exciting news, I also FINALLY shared a look at our backyard renovation – only took me a year! :)

Shep took it easy on us in his first month, and life with a two-year-old AND a new baby meant things didn’t slow down as much as they did last time! We headed out frequently for picnics, splash pad trips, the zoo, birthday parties, and visits to the Museum of Life & Science. I was so happy to share the meaning of Shepherd’s name!

We celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary with dinner at The Durham in September, as well as ten years of Em for Marvelous! We marked the beginning of fall with apple cider scones and weathered Hurricane Florence with my parents.

October saw us in Asheville with my sister, trick-or-treating all around our neighborhood, and flying to New Hampshire for a dear friend’s wedding (our first flight as a family of four!). Shep and I had lots of solo adventures in my last month of maternity leave, two friends and I hosted a pumpkin painting fundraiser for Florence victims, we hosted our annual pumpkins and soup party, and June moved to her big girl bed! I shared the tax benefits of an HSA, my favorite jeans, and everything we read in Articles Club this year.

Things slowed down in November around EFM as I went back to work and our parents traded shifts watching Shep. We celebrated three Thanksgivings – an early one in Virginia with the Thomases, on Thanksgiving Day with the Terhunes, and the weekend after with the Ayers – and marveled at the fact that we now have family living in North Carolina.

We closed out the year with an early-season snow day, a visit to the Nutcracker (and many subsequent living room performances), and a big trip home for Christmas (complete with stays at both grandparents’, a horse ride at my family’s farm, bowling, and a trip on the Polar Express!). Our Christmas tree was naked until mid-December, we never did get our outside lights up, some Christmas cards were mailed on December 23rd, and posts were sparse on EFM, but there were sweet, slow moments even on the busiest days.

I am grateful for a fresh start tomorrow. I know there’s nothing magical about January 1st, but marking time is important, and a whole new year ready to be etched with memories and milestones gives me a bubbly feeling inside :) I’m about to wrap up my PowerSheets and am excited to share my 2019 goals with you soon. They’re different — more concrete — than in recent years, and I’m excited to dig in to them little by little over the next many months.

I know I’ve said it before, but I am SO excited for what we’ll discuss here in 2019. Thank you for being here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. I’ll see you soon! :)

2017 year in review
2016 year in review
2015 year in review
2014 year in review
2013 year in review
2012 year in review

If your male loved one is anything like mine, he gives you little direction on gifts – but is happy with anything you choose! Here, a few favorites that we’ve either gifted or gotten in the past that might become beloved in your family, too.

A. At-home whetstone | I’m no kitchen expert, but we have one of these and it seems to do a great job sharpening our knives with little effort!
B. Simple Wealth, Inevitable Wealth | A cult favorite in the finance community – one of the most successful self-published books of all time!
C. Landmark tees | John loves these soft tees, and with all their sharp-looking designs you’re sure to find a national treasure your guy loves.
D. Guitar hook | I’ve written about these before – so classy and useful if there’s a guitar in your home!
E. Work bag | This was my early Christmas gift to John this year, in celebration of his new job. I think it strikes a nice balance between youthful and professional!
F. Star spangled spatula | I know at least one patriotic husband who would really enjoy flipping burgers with this.
G. Leather work gloves | Made in the USA and handsome for house projects.
H. Ring door bell | To help him feel confident his beloved family is safe! :)
I. Fruit & nut clusters | John’s parents buy these for us every year, and they are DANGEROUS. So delicious!
J. Paring knife | John’s parents also put these in one of our stockings one year, and we’ve been hooked ever since! They’re perfect to take on a picnic, since they’re compact, super-sharp, and come with a plastic sheath.
K. Stowaway chair | If you love going to outdoor concerts or movies, these low-slung, reclined folding chairs are perfect!
L. Striped tie | I never really understood why people included ties on gift guides until John started a job where he needs to wear a suit every day. Now I get it :)
M. Southern honey | We visited Asheville Bee Charmer’s honey tasting bar this fall and John thought it was pretty much the coolest thing ever. His favorites were the sourwood and acacia, but you can’t go wrong with any flavor!
N. Socks | I’ve written before that one of John’s very favorite gifts is a good pair of socks. I also like these, these, and these!
O. Bottle opener | To coordinate with his spatula :)
P. Camping cookbook | For the backyard or deep in the woods. Add these roasting sticks for a complete gift!
Q. Pennant | I feel like this would be neat in John’s office, but fear he might find it too hipster :) Maybe your guy would think differently?

Of course, I also love giving experiential gifts – tickets to a game or a show, dinner out, an indoor skydiving place gift card… the options are endless :)

I hope this is helpful!!

2018 Guides:
Sisters, Moms, and Best Friends
Parents, In-Laws, and Grandparents

P.S. I’ve written two other guy gift guides over the years and still love all of the picks – here and here!