In October, I shared the happy news that my sister was moving to North Carolina. It was exciting enough to have Kim in Nashville – in the South! a short flight away! – and Nat and Joe in Northern Virginia – a reasonable weekend trip! – but this development was a revelation. Kate and family are now outside of Charlotte, a little over two hours away from us, and that’s closeness of a whole different order.

Since my sister’s arrival about three months ago, we’ve gotten to taste the sweetness of proximity – taking the girls to the Nutcracker, organizing their new home together, texting about North Carolina happenings (since they now matter to all of us!), celebrating birthdays around the same table. And we’ve made plans, so many things to look forward to – trips to the zoo (the perfect halfway point between us!), shopping my favorite consignment sale elbow to elbow, weekend visits with scooter rides and cousins piled in the same room.

You have to understand that I truly never thought this would be our reality. My family always desired to be closer to each other, but everyone seemed firmly ensconced in their separate – widely scattered – states.

So, over the last almost ten years since moving South, we built our own life here. We’ve (slowly) made friends that have become family. We’ve worn traditions like grooves that have become part of our family identity, ones that were once new to us but will always be familiar to our kiddos.

Away from our hometown and our extended family, we turned homesickness into homeyness out of necessity – begrudgingly at first, and then with gusto. We had to make this place our home, even if our family wasn’t her. We couldn’t just wait for them to show up one day.

And I know that even as this was sometimes hard and lonely, it was also a gift, because some new couples in the literal shadow of their parents or hometowns are never quite able to set themselves apart, to establish their own traditions, celebrations, and identities. And we were.

And therein lies the rub. It happened almost immediately: Kate and Co moved in October, and the conversation quickly turned to Thanksgiving. Of course we were going to spend it together, since we were now so close! And of course we wanted to be with family on this most family-centric holiday!

But but but. For the last six years, we’ve eaten Thanksgiving dinner with our dear friends and their parents. Air travel at Thanksgiving is SO expensive, and besides, John has only ever gotten Thanksgiving Day off, making multi-day travel impossible. The Terhunes may not be our actual family, but Thanksgiving at their house has become a deeply-cherished tradition – the only Thanksgiving setting June has ever known!

But how to explain this to our flesh-and-blood family, who understandably assumed we would spend Thanksgiving with them?

It all shook out – we spent Thanksgiving Day with our friends, and then drove over to Charlotte after John finished work on Friday – but not without a small sense of disappointing people, at least on my part.

We are tasting a little bit of what those with family close by know well – the push and pull of obligations and expectations for time and presence. This is not the last time we will face this kind of quandary, and while our lives may be slightly more complicated for it, all I feel is grateful. After all, the only reason we now have more family expectations to navigate, is because we have more family. Thanks be to God.

Friends, I would love to hear what this has looked like in your life. Do you live close to your or your spouse’s immediate family? Have you always done so? If so, how often do you see each other? What have been the best and hardest parts?

Above, the North Carolina welcome box we sent Kate and Co before their move, filled with some of our favorite reasons to love the Old North State: popcorn from Asheville, peach candy, Chapel Hill toffee, a bucket list map, Cheerwine, Videri chocolate, the Western NC jam we served at our wedding, Duke’s mayo, cheese straws, an NC coloring book, the best magazine, and a CAT earth mover in honor of their presence in the state. It was so fun to collect and put together!

I read through last year’s review post as I prepared to write this one, and I was wowed again at the amount of life that has happened, and the amount of change we’ve seen, in the last two years of our family. That’s one reason I love these opportunities to stop and reflect — life is constantly calling us to move fast-fast-fast, but the rhythms of seasons and calendars give us an opportunity to pause and count the fruit.

So here we go – some of our favorite moments of 2018, in our lives and on the blog.

Life on the blog sprinted out of the gate in January with the first four posts in the How We Do It series: Time, Finances, Homes, and Personal Lives! I also shared my Life List Book (and have since had occasion to add several items to its pages). John and I celebrated our 13th dativersary (a tip here) and June’s second birthday (sans party this year!).

A highlight of February was sharing three more How We Do It posts: Work, Relationships, and Spiritual Lives (the last one, Kiddos, posted in March). We announced some VERY happy news and John and I took an early babymoon to Anna Maria Island, one of our most laidback vacations ever (and our first multi-day trip without June!). I also shared my refined vision for our home, which I’m happy to say is slooooowly coming to fruition – more updates to come in the new year! Our church home also broke ground on a new building!

We spent time outside in the beautiful North Carolina spring weather in March. We got and shared the news that we were adding a BOY to our family (and I shared so many thoughts!). I delivered a manifesto on the purpose of EFM and wrote one of the most popular posts of the year: our favorite board games! (Loved your comments!)

We celebrated the resurrection of our Savior at Duke Chapel and celebrated spring by picking strawberries approximately twice a week. We traveled to Georgia for a dear friend’s wedding and learned an important lesson about vacations. On the blog, I shared tips for managing money together (complete with controversial article) and organizing your own childhood memorabilia.

In honor of Mother’s Day, I mused on a variety of kiddo topics: a revelation about parenting, the cost of our first year with a baby, and our you-do-you clothing solution. (We also made a flower craft!) My skincare routine was a fun post to write.

We logged our sixth-annual camping trip with the Rays, spent lots of time outside scootering, welcomed visitors, and celebrated John passing his Certified Financial Planner exam!!

With baby boy’s arrival approaching I think I was on a kiddo kick, because I shared three more kiddo-centric posts in June: what June eats, the plans for Shep’s nursery (reveal coming soon!) and my favorite parenting books. We filmed June in June Volume 3 (they keep getting cuter!!) and I loved sharing this post about my parents – one of my favorites from the year.

And oh yes – we spent two weeks in Connecticut and Maine!! Around those two big trips we tucked in tons of little adventures closer to home, savoring our final days as a family of three.

The highlight of our month (year!) came on the last day of July: John Shepherd Thomas made his arrival! He has delighted us from the start with his sweet sideways smiles — we couldn’t love him more! At least for now, all my hesitations about having a son have been put to rest :)

In less exciting news, I also FINALLY shared a look at our backyard renovation – only took me a year! :)

Shep took it easy on us in his first month, and life with a two-year-old AND a new baby meant things didn’t slow down as much as they did last time! We headed out frequently for picnics, splash pad trips, the zoo, birthday parties, and visits to the Museum of Life & Science. I was so happy to share the meaning of Shepherd’s name!

We celebrated our sixth wedding anniversary with dinner at The Durham in September, as well as ten years of Em for Marvelous! We marked the beginning of fall with apple cider scones and weathered Hurricane Florence with my parents.

October saw us in Asheville with my sister, trick-or-treating all around our neighborhood, and flying to New Hampshire for a dear friend’s wedding (our first flight as a family of four!). Shep and I had lots of solo adventures in my last month of maternity leave, two friends and I hosted a pumpkin painting fundraiser for Florence victims, we hosted our annual pumpkins and soup party, and June moved to her big girl bed! I shared the tax benefits of an HSA, my favorite jeans, and everything we read in Articles Club this year.

Things slowed down in November around EFM as I went back to work and our parents traded shifts watching Shep. We celebrated three Thanksgivings – an early one in Virginia with the Thomases, on Thanksgiving Day with the Terhunes, and the weekend after with the Ayers – and marveled at the fact that we now have family living in North Carolina.

We closed out the year with an early-season snow day, a visit to the Nutcracker (and many subsequent living room performances), and a big trip home for Christmas (complete with stays at both grandparents’, a horse ride at my family’s farm, bowling, and a trip on the Polar Express!). Our Christmas tree was naked until mid-December, we never did get our outside lights up, some Christmas cards were mailed on December 23rd, and posts were sparse on EFM, but there were sweet, slow moments even on the busiest days.

I am grateful for a fresh start tomorrow. I know there’s nothing magical about January 1st, but marking time is important, and a whole new year ready to be etched with memories and milestones gives me a bubbly feeling inside :) I’m about to wrap up my PowerSheets and am excited to share my 2019 goals with you soon. They’re different — more concrete — than in recent years, and I’m excited to dig in to them little by little over the next many months.

I know I’ve said it before, but I am SO excited for what we’ll discuss here in 2019. Thank you for being here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. I’ll see you soon! :)

2017 year in review
2016 year in review
2015 year in review
2014 year in review
2013 year in review
2012 year in review

If your male loved one is anything like mine, he gives you little direction on gifts – but is happy with anything you choose! Here, a few favorites that we’ve either gifted or gotten in the past that might become beloved in your family, too.

A. At-home whetstone | I’m no kitchen expert, but we have one of these and it seems to do a great job sharpening our knives with little effort!
B. Simple Wealth, Inevitable Wealth | A cult favorite in the finance community – one of the most successful self-published books of all time!
C. Landmark tees | John loves these soft tees, and with all their sharp-looking designs you’re sure to find a national treasure your guy loves.
D. Guitar hook | I’ve written about these before – so classy and useful if there’s a guitar in your home!
E. Work bag | This was my early Christmas gift to John this year, in celebration of his new job. I think it strikes a nice balance between youthful and professional!
F. Star spangled spatula | I know at least one patriotic husband who would really enjoy flipping burgers with this.
G. Leather work gloves | Made in the USA and handsome for house projects.
H. Ring door bell | To help him feel confident his beloved family is safe! :)
I. Fruit & nut clusters | John’s parents buy these for us every year, and they are DANGEROUS. So delicious!
J. Paring knife | John’s parents also put these in one of our stockings one year, and we’ve been hooked ever since! They’re perfect to take on a picnic, since they’re compact, super-sharp, and come with a plastic sheath.
K. Stowaway chair | If you love going to outdoor concerts or movies, these low-slung, reclined folding chairs are perfect!
L. Striped tie | I never really understood why people included ties on gift guides until John started a job where he needs to wear a suit every day. Now I get it :)
M. Southern honey | We visited Asheville Bee Charmer’s honey tasting bar this fall and John thought it was pretty much the coolest thing ever. His favorites were the sourwood and acacia, but you can’t go wrong with any flavor!
N. Socks | I’ve written before that one of John’s very favorite gifts is a good pair of socks. I also like these, these, and these!
O. Bottle opener | To coordinate with his spatula :)
P. Camping cookbook | For the backyard or deep in the woods. Add these roasting sticks for a complete gift!
Q. Pennant | I feel like this would be neat in John’s office, but fear he might find it too hipster :) Maybe your guy would think differently?

Of course, I also love giving experiential gifts – tickets to a game or a show, dinner out, an indoor skydiving place gift card… the options are endless :)

I hope this is helpful!!

2018 Guides:
Sisters, Moms, and Best Friends
Parents, In-Laws, and Grandparents

P.S. I’ve written two other guy gift guides over the years and still love all of the picks – here and here!

There are a few churches John and I like to keep tabs on — listening to their sermons each week, even getting their email newsletters. They’re doing a lot of things right, and it’s inspiring to watch them chase after God-sized dreams (and to think about how their best ideas might translate to our own home church!).

One of our favorites is Church of the City, a network of neighborhood churches in Nashville. We feel like we’ve been with them since the beginning, and we kind of have — we followed their main pastor when he was on staff at his old church, before he moved to Tennessee and planted the first COTC location. Over their relatively brief lifetime as a church family, they have had a craaaaaazy story, including but not limited to launching six worshipping communities (including a Spanish language and a New York City location); partnering with an established Nashville church who was so drawn to COTC they approached them with the idea of a merger; and retiring millions of dollars of debt carried over with that merger.

Needless to say, it’s been an eventful five years especially as their community has grown from the small founding handful to the thousands attending each weekend. Keeping the flame of passion, purpose, ingenuity, unity, and sincerity alive — casting the vision for who they are as a church body — must be one of the hardest things the leadership is tasked with. Unsurprisingly (if you know how well they have historically led their people!), they have gotten out ahead of this in many ways, but most impactfully with Vision Sunday.

Once a year, they rent a concert hall in Nashville and gather all of their local communities to worship and dream together. They share stories from their people, stories that remind them who they are and why they do what they do. They paint a picture of where they’ll travel in the next year and what they’ll grow together. They worship. I’ve only experienced it online (and not even as a “real” member of the church!) and I leave every year energized and inspired — I can’t imagine what it would be like to attend in person!

All this to say that the fact that this church has been successful in its mission and that it is continually reminding itself of that mission — as well as intentionally evaluating its success and setting new goals to press further into that mission — is no coincidence.

Proverbs 29:18 says where there is no vision, the people perish. Wither. Shrink. Dry up and grow stale. And as it goes for churches, so it goes for relationships. I’ve shared before that one of my favorite nights of the year is our December celebration dinner, where John and I spend a few hours chatting through a series of questions to look back and ahead. It’s a chance for us to cheer our union on as much as it is an opportunity to decide how we’d like to grow together in the year ahead. (Our bimonthly net worth chats are a kind of mini, financial version of this!)

And finally, as for relationships, so it is for individuals. The best way I know to ensure that I’m continually moving toward the person I hope to become is with my PowerSheets. The yearly prep work and monthly Tending Lists keep me motivated, diligent, attentive to my life, and pressing forward.

There is no “there” where it will suddenly be easy to give reflexively, pray continually, adventure mightily, eat mindfully, parent patiently, read voraciously, or anything else we deeply desire. We have to light the flame of all these things, and then we have to tend to it.

I do that with PowerSheets, and I wanted you to know the 2019 sets go on sale today! I think you will love them. And if you’ve never tried them before, maybe this is your year :)

In the meantime, I would love to hear: do you have a routine of vision casting or review in your life? Or in an organization you’re a part of it? It can be so powerful!

P.S. Aside from the PowerSheets, my absolute favorite product from the new collection is the Joyful Greeting Card Set. I’ve mentioned before that one of my life hacks is to use Black Friday sales to stock up on greeting cards – but with this set (24 cards for $24), you don’t need to wait for a sale. The price and quality is incredible, and this set’s versatility is such that you’ll use every card in the box! (Just think about the price of a single birthday card at Target right now. You’re welcome :)) It is *possible* that these could sell out this week, so I wanted to give you a heads-up if you’re a snail mail lover like me!