Hello, friends! I hope you had a thoughtful Holy Week and very joyful Easter. We worshipped at our church’s 9:45 service, skipped over to the WRAL azalea gardens to enjoy the blooms, then came home for lunch and an egg hunt in our backyard.

Shep was very into the family selfie :)

June has been practicing collecting things in her basket for months, so I knew we couldn’t let the holiday pass without some sort of search. Since we missed our neighborhood’s hunt this year, we decided to stage our own! I filled the eggs with little stickers and bunny grahams, and both prizes were a hit. For dinner, we had ham, twice-baked potatoes, asparagus, sparkling cider, and a deep dish chocolate chip cookie – YUM!

More about our Easter baskets

Speaking of yummy meals, I’ve been wanting to report back on the neighborhood meal swap I mentioned awhile back. Inspired by Victoria, a dear friend and I decided to switch off making meals for both of our families every Tuesday. We kicked things off in the first week of the year, and it was an immediate success on both ends. We made and delivered a Greek feast (grilled chicken kebabs, cucumber feta salad, hummus, pita, grilled peppers); homemade spaghetti and meatballs; beef stew and cheddar biscuits; meatloaf, roasted potatoes, and broccoli; Italian orzo; and more.

Don’t mind me, just going to keep rolling with the Easter photos while I have you :)

What a treat to have a hot meal delivered by a friendly face right at dinner time with no work on our part every other week! On meal delivery day, there was no racing around trying to get dinner on the table, just an extra hour to play with my babies or take a walk as a family. And on the weeks we were cooking, it was really no more difficult than the usual task of making dinner for our fam – we just cooked twice as much, and then zipped half two minutes around the corner!

We were going strong for about ten weeks, and would have kept going for many more… except that Katie and Co. bought a new house about fifteen minutes away. As happy as we are for them (so happy!), we were also a bit devastated. As y’all know, these introverts don’t make friends particularly easily, and when Katie inserted herself into my life via Instagram DM after spotting me pushing a stroller (true story), it felt like God had personally and graciously gifted me the neighborhood friend I’d prayed for. From our first walk, I just knew that we were kindred spirits.

That’s what we have been, and that’s what we’ll continue to be, but I can’t overstate the loveliness of having a close “friend family” a short walk away. Most of our friend families are scattered around the Triangle, many about a half hour away. We make the most of our time together, “binging” on each other’s company when we do get together, but if I had to choose, I’d take the dailiness of doing life together over an every-once-in-a-while spectacle every time.

My favorite part about our meal exchange was not, actually, the meals. It wasn’t even the time I got back with my family, or the opportunity to serve another family. I loved all those things, but what I loved most was the connection this experiment forced on me. As an Enneagram 5 married to a 5, it is easiest to rely on ourselves instead of stepping into the messiness of interdependency. Fives take care of ourselves, and generally think other people should, too. We can be awkward. We don’t like small talk.

But doing what’s easiest isn’t how you grow, and I don’t think the life I described above is the one I’m called to.

I’m called to a life where grace is needed, given, and received – even in the smallest things, like when I deliver dinner half an hour later than I said I would.

I’m called to a life where my imperfection is seen and accepted – like when I show up with noodles that are on the hard side of al dente.

I’m called to a life of vulnerability – what if they don’t like this dish? – and in pushing past that vulnerability instead of finding ways to avoid it.

And I’m called to a life where my days involve more than just my immediate family, where I’m regularly bumped up against other people asking how I’m doing… and really wanting to know the answer.

It is so very easy to be anonymous, to go it alone, to rely only on yourself, in the world we live in. Just pull into your garage, roll down that door, and go about your business. It’s safer and easier to call on Door Dash than another human being. But deep relationship is not only a reward in itself, it’s a requisite for growth. And growth is good and beautiful even as it’s hard.

Big lessons, big reminders, from something as small and simple as a meal swap. Do it for the delicious food, do it for the extra hours gained, do it for the growth – but just try it, friends! And then tell me how it goes :)

I’d love to hear: have you ever tried a meal swap, or would you want to? I’d imagine the biggest barrier for most people is finding a partner close by, since proximity is key to keeping it up long-term.

If you’ve spent any amount of time here, you know that I’m engaged in an epic quest to organize our personal photos (and have been for almost a year). Many of you have expressed curiosity at my methodology and the processes I’m putting in place, and I’m happy to oblige – once I have everything wrapped up with a bow!

In the meantime, though, I wanted to share one aspect we’ve got down pat, especially since I’m guessing it might be a pain point for some of you: Instagram photos! The photos I share on IG are some of my very favorites, so it makes sense that they’d be a priority to get off my phone and into our home.

Each January, I order 48 to 72 of our favorite Instagram photos from the past year in the 4-inch size via Social Print Studio. (You can purchase them in sets of 24 for $12). They’re printed on velvety-matte paper, and I’ve found the quality to be good. I especially appreciate that you can upload from multiple accounts in the same order as long as you have the passwords, which is great because I choose favorites from John’s account and both my personal and public accounts.

(If we need to round up to reach a number divisible by 12, I’ll add a few more copies of a print I know a family member or friend would love, then pop them in the mail once they arrive!)

From there, I choose our favorite 24 photos from the past year, with a prejudice toward landscape- and adventure-focused shots, and pin them to a bulletin board in our kitchen. I love being reminded of so many beloved places, faces, and memories on the daily, and guests love looking at them, too!

The ones from the previous year come down and, along with the remainder from the new set, go loose-leaf style into a box on our coffee table. (I add the year and any other pertinent info on the back.) The box isn’t organized in any way, which is good because the prints are literally taken out and rifled through every. single. day. June LOVES to discuss them, and they’re a great conversation starter with guests, too!

On this particular day, each stuffie was assigned a photo :)

One last thing I like about this system: it’s a natural way to make sure we’re refreshing at least some of our wall decor on at least an annual basis. It can feel like a monumental effort to get anything on our walls – the choosing! the hanging! – and once something is up, I’m inclined to just leave it. But it’s nice to spiff things up every once in a while, and this is an easy way to do it.

I’m curious: do you have a favorite way of printing your Instagram photos? I think it would be so fun to order one of SPS’s 365 calendars one day!

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How do you like to spend your evenings?

About 75% of the time on a night we’re at home, I’m on my laptop. This feels like a lame answer, but it is what it is – since I try to limit screens as much as possible when our kiddos are awake, the time after they go to bed is when I tackle both life necessities – answering emails, updating our budget, ordering more wipes, booking an appointment – and luxuriating in my favorite hobbies (reading blogs and writing my own posts, mostly! :)). I reserve the last half hour or hour once I’m in bed for reading.

John usually occupies himself by reading, watching a show, studying, and taking care of his own life necessities. Sometimes we’ll watch something together, or work on a project (travel planning, when we’re lucky!). But one of the best ways we’ve found to switch things up on a random weeknight is to play a game together.

I know so many of us are looking to break the habit of social media scrolling or mindless TV watching (or worse, both at once!) and connect more purposefully, so I thought I’d share a few of our favorites!

Our favorite two-person games:

Sagrada | Pictured above, this is a gorgeous game that can be played by up to 4 people but is the rare find that I think is actually better with 2!
Monopoly Deal | Forget all your dreadful memories of Monopoly – this card game is quick (15 minutes!) and addictive!
Seven Wonders Duel | Seven Wonders is one of our favorite games to play with a group, and this slim-downed version succeeds at bringing the fun to a party of two.
Eight-Minute Empire | I like that this board is petite, so it’s possible to play in our armchairs, on the little table between them, instead of at our kitchen table. Plus, for some reason I beat John about 75% of the time :)
Rock Me Archimedes | We actually don’t own this, but have given it to several family members and love playing it when we’re at one of those recipient’s houses!

Other great two-person games:

Boggle | You know I love me some Boggle, but rolling the dice is SUPER loud, so it’s not the best fit for this season of life where we’re often playing when kiddos are sleeping!
Farkle | I’ve only played this in a larger group, but apparently you can play it with two people, too. Bonus: you just need six dice to play this game!
Mancala | We don’t have our own board yet, but played this all the time growing up! I’m thinking June might be ready in a year or two.
Scattergories | We play this often with 3+, but I suppose you could play it with two people, too.
Set | This game is quick and keeps you on your toes – a different style of play than many of the others listed here.
Scrabble
Double Solitaire
Othello
Quiddler
Sequence
Yahtzee
Bananagrams

Two-person games suggested by readers!

Blockus
Linkee
El Dorado
Sushi Go!
Battle Sheep

I’d love to hear if you have any games to add to our list! And, how do you spend your evenings?

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Ever since I completed up my 60 Before 30 project, I’ve been considering options for a new iteration. My experience with longer-term goal sets has been overwhelmingly positive; I love allowing them to shape and mark a chunk of my life!

But how to theme it? 65 Before 35 just didn’t sound as jazzy. As I pruned and shaped my collection of ideas for a potential next list, and considered what our life is likely to look like for the next few years, an idea began to take shape.

The driving force in our family right now is paying off our mortgage*. We expect this to happen in the next three to six years, depending on the market’s performance, and until then, we will be making some aggressive trade-offs and sacrifices – forgoing vacations, reducing our grocery budget, delaying clothing purchases, cooking at home, (almost) never going to the movies, not purchasing alcohol, and more.

We believe the freedom of owning our home will be more than worth it, but we’re also not willing to put our young family’s life on hold for the next five years, eating PB&J every night and spending only the absolute minimum.

And here’s the thing: we’re convinced we don’t need to. The fact is, there are amazing amounts of fun and memories to be had for very few dollars. In fact, I’d argue that this list gets at the very best parts of life, the ones we’ll continue to chase long after we’ve put our mortgage to rest: the patience to move slowly, the softness to be delighted, rich and agile minds, deep relationships, confidence in our own ingenuity, a deepening bench of skills, and – above all – golden-hued memories. If these things aren’t luxury, I don’t know what is.

Each item below was carefully chosen, for reasons that may not be immediately clear. Some are unusual, some are pedestrian, and many you might never think to raise to the level of being put “on a list.” You might find it amusing that I included them at all, or worse, Not Fun.

Am I “flattening things that should be enjoyable into tasks“? Am I not fun??

Perhaps not. I am a creature of habit, and despite my best intentions, it’s easy for life to become routine. So, just like we put extra mortgage payments into our budget instead of hoping to stumble upon “extra” sums of money, I am intentionally setting out to create the conditions for delight instead of hoping delight will somehow shoehorn its way into my full life, with the financial constraints we are voluntarily putting on it. What we prioritize, happens. It’s always taken someone’s effort to plan the picnic, organize the lake day, or flip bunny-shaped pancakes. Just because something has been considered and planned doesn’t make it any less magical.

Alright. After that very lengthy preamble, I present to you…

Start: February 28, 2019
End: ??? (Somewhere between 2022 and 2025!)
Items completed: 16
Last updated: July 2022

1. Host a croquet tournament
2. Make potstickers with Mama Jean (December 2021)
3. Teach June the Lord’s Prayer (March 2019)
4. Make a month-by-month landscape tending list
5. Go trail riding at the farm with my family
6. Visit Hammocks Beach State Park (June 2022)
7. Camp at Grayson Highlands
8. Take June to a local high school’s musical (April 2022)
9. Complete a month of thank you notes
10. Host Chinese New Year fun for friends
11. Dance at a ceili
12. Go to BINGO as a family (July 2019)
13. Undertake a nature scavenger hunt for each season (spring 2020)
14. Spend two weeks in a row at the Island
15. Update our Advent calendar with our home’s colors
16. Eat at Waffle House (epic late-night visit with some of my dear coworkers in August 2019!)
17. Go swimming in a mountain lake
18. Host a book swap party (July 2019)
19. Work on a Habitat build
20. Take June to tea at the Carolina Inn or Fearrington (May 2021)
21. Order historical photo albums to get us up to date (2005-2009, 2010-2014, 2015-2019)
22. Enter something in the State Fair
23. Square dance at our town’s arts center
24. Lake day with the Rays
25. Buy bunting to hang on our home for patriotic holidays
26. Listen to all of the Harry Potter books
27. Finish my EFM guide to the Triangle
28. Host a pie party
29. Become an expert at French braiding June’s hair (officially given up on my own)
30. Lead another service at the Island (July 2022)
31. Watch a review at the CGA and go to lunch at the Officers’ Club
32. Take another family on an outdoor souffle adventure
33. Do a home swap with a friend or acquaintance in a place we want to visit
34. Make a new neighborhood BFF couple
35. Put together an ice cream sundae bar, just for us (August 2019)
36. Commission a special art print and give one copy to each family member
37. Take June to her first outdoor movie and pack excellent snacks
38. Organize another Great Island Race
39. Do something with the upstairs bathroom (shared February 2021!)
40. Host a chocolate chip cookie taste-off
41. Touch up the paint throughout our home
42. Teach June to sing patriotic songs
43. Go to rooftop yoga at The Durham with friends (April 2019, with Lisa)
44. Make “For God so loved ____” art for June and Shep
45. Golf as a family at Knight’s Play
46. Take the train somewhere (May 2019 – to Charlotte with June!)
47. Hike another bald
48. Have a full family sleepover with the Rays
49. Teach June to jump rope, trace her body with chalk, and play hopscotch and Spud
50. Finish the path in our alley
51. Plant lots of daffodil bulbs in our backyard
52. Memorize a favorite poem
53. Learn to cut June’s hair (and John’s and Shep’s – May 2020!)
54. Borrow a canoe and go on an adventure
55. Get back in a regular rhythm of playing tennis with the Terhunes
56. Party it up in a glow stick bath
57. Make a better display for my jewelry
58. Real estalk and visit the playground in Trinity Park
59. Explore Morehead Planetarium
60. Introduce June to the art of painted toe nails (May 2019!)

Many of these cost no money. Some cost more than that. More importantly, they all require our attention, capacity for delight, and thoughtfulness. I hope to get to tell many of these stories over the next few years, but if you’re particularly curious about one, by all means – ask away!

*As you may have gathered, we have changed our approach to paying off our mortgage. A Marvelous Money post addressing the topic is coming soon! :)