We are so grateful to have our wedding featured in the new issue of Southern Weddings Magazine, which hits newsstands today. (Despite the fact that we had a northern wedding – minor details.) Don’t live in the South? You can pick up a copy here! I’m going to hold off on posting our photos until they’ve been shared on the SW site (likely in January), but I just couldn’t bear to wait that long to share our wedding film by Inkspot Crow.

(Make sure you watch it full screen to get the full effect!)

I have already said plenty about Inkspot, so I won’t wax on at length again. There are, however, a few things I would like to say at this time.

1) Inkspot not only met my expectations, but exceeded them. I have high standards, and unfortunately, not all of our carefully-selected vendors lived up to them. (Nothing major, and I’ll discuss more later, but it’s true.) MacKenzie and Philip, however, were a delight from beginning to end. They made our wedding day better in every way they could just by doing their thing, and we couldn’t be more pleased with our highlights film. It was a stretch to our budget to hire them (and they’ve only gotten more expensive since we booked), but I can confidently say that to us, they were worth every penny.

2. They are the real deal. They’re just so good at what they do. Philip is a music-finding savant; I’m kind of obsessed with our second song, and he admitted that he discovered it months before our wedding and squirreled it away because he thought it would be perfect for us. His editing skills are also, frankly, nuts — one of my favorite parts of the video is when the bells begin in Come, Thou Fount just as the guest bells are panning into view. Genius! And of course I can’t leave MacKenzie out. As I’ve said before, she is one of the kindest persons I’ve ever met, and I think her heart is a huge reason why their films tell such beautiful stories — they know how to find, and shape, the story that’s already there.

I hope you love our highlights film as much as we do! Can’t wait to share more soon :)

From the beginning, I knew I wanted to recite both traditional and personal vows. John did not. He was EXTREMELY concerned that if forced to read personal vows out loud, he would dissolve into a soggy mess. Over time, he warmed to the idea, and I’m happy to report that we both made it through with only a few twinges of outward emotion. (Our guests, though, were another story — lots of sniffles.)

Once we had come to an agreement on the vows we would recite, we needed to craft them! We decided to set up some parameters so that they wouldn’t end up wildly different in tone — they would each be about a minute long, and they would generally take the form of promises. From there, we pretty much left each other alone to write.

Photo by Tanja Lippert. Spoiler alert: We had a beautiful day :)

I started jotting down lines, phrases, and ideas in a Google Doc about a year ago, either as things popped into my mind, or when I read a line in another couples’ vows that struck me. (I tend to get my best ideas while going to sleep at night, so I keep a notebook on my bedside table, and it came in handy for brainstorming!) I was also very inspired by some of the beautiful vows I’ve been lucky enough to witness, including those of my friends Amanda and Katharine, and this emotional Inkspot video! What brought things full circle, though, was a weekend afternoon a few weeks before our wedding day, when John and I sat down with a box of old letters we had written to each other. We were actually looking for reading inspiration, but I ended up coming across a line I had written to John that was a perfect opening to my vows. The rest fell into place from there.

I will say that one other thing that united us was our desire to only promise things that, with the grace of God, we could actually KEEP. We didn’t want to promise things like, “I’ll give you a foot massage every night,” or, “I will never be angry with you,” because we didn’t see these as just pretty words, we saw them as promises we were making to each other for the rest of our lives, with God as our witness.

So what did we promise each other? We’ve decided to not share the full text here because, unsurprisingly, our personal vows were very personal. However, when you see our highlights film from Inkspot Crow, you’ll hear about half of mine, and about a quarter of John’s :)

Our traditional vows, though, I don’t mind sharing! Of course, they’ll be pretty familiar to y’all, but we did make a few tweaks. We read our personal vows first (John went before I did), then our pastor lead us in the traditional vows and ring vows. These are the words we used:

I, Emily, take you, John, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, all the days of my life.

and

John, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you in the name of God.

If you’re married, or are planning a wedding, what did you or have you planned for your vows? I would love to hear!

Just like our readings, we spent a lot of time choosing music for our ceremony. Music has always been important to us individually and as a couple, from the Arcade Fire songs we listened to when we first started dating to the Death Cab for Cutie and Postal Service songs that will always remind us of college. We were excited to add to our “collection” with the wedding.

Furthermore, music has always triggered my emotions like nothing else, and in this situation, I wanted them to be triggered! I wanted to feel the enormity of what was happening. Have you ever noticed how much more impactful words layered over music is than just words? Like in movies? Or at my church, when they always play Borning Cry in the background as the confirmands are blessed by their parents and pastor? (I used to make fun of my mom for crying every year, but now I do, too!)

Photo from our ceremony by Nancy Ray

In the end, we were so, so happy with the musical choices we made. Here they are:

Entrance of parents and gentlemen: Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring
Played by: String trio
My mom, accompanied by my brother in law, and John’s mom, accompanied by John’s dad, walked into Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring. Once they had been seated, our pastor, John, and his groomsmen entered from the front side entrance of the church. This song just says “joyful wedding” to me like nothing else, and sure enough, when I heard the first swells from where we were waiting in the narthex, excited bubbles rose up in my stomach, and I might have let out a few squeaks :)

Bridesmaids’ processional: In Christ Alone
Played by: String trio and pianist
I think this was the choice we were most unsure about, but in the end, it was beyond perfect! Even Philip, one of our videographers (who has excellent taste in music), complimented us on it after the service! Both John and I love this hymn, but we were unsure of how natural it would be to walk to. After much practicing around the apartment, we decided it would work… and happily, it did! It set the perfect reverent, moving tone at the beginning of the service. (We also considered Down to the River to Pray.)

Bridal processional: A Thousand Years
Played by: String trio and piano
If we were most unsure about the bridesmaids’ processional, we were most divided on the bridal processional! I wanted something that evoked strong emotion in me, and that had a solid forward movement/thrust. The first song I got stuck on was a live version of The Chain by Ingrid Michaelson. I adore that song, and thought it would be gorgeous played by strings and piano. John, however, pretty much flat-out refused it. I next considered Pachelbel’s Canon in D, but although that song is beautiful, it didn’t move me like I was hoping it would. (Maybe a similar issue to my wedding gown – I’ve heard it at too many other weddings?)

John was initially skeptical of the song we ultimately chose for the processional, and I’ll admit, I was, too. Somehow I had stumbled across the Vitamin String Quartet version of “A Thousand Years,” and I thought it was achingly beautiful. Even though we would use an instrumental version, I liked the words, too. The downside? It was written for one of the Twilight movies. I’ve never read any of the Twilight books or seen any of the movies, so it wasn’t colored for me — I was more worried that others might think it was weird or cheesy. I was also worried that I might regret not choosing something more classic. In the end, though, I went with my gut, and somehow got John on my side. And it was perfect. My processional was highly emotional, and its beautiful soundtrack played a large part in that.

Congregational hymn: Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee
Played by: Pianist
John and I share a deep love for old hymns, and we knew from the start we wanted to include a congregational hymn in our ceremony. Joyful, Joyful, We Adore Thee was an easy choice – it’s one of my very favorites, and John loves it, too. I hear I surprised some of our guests with my mastery of the lyrics — that’s one of the ones I know by heart, and boy did I sing it! :) I loved looking around the church at all of our guests’ happy faces during the hymn, too.

Communion hymns: Come, Thou Font of Every Blessing and Set Me as a Seal
Played by: Pianist
These were easy to choose, too! We immediately picked Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing (patterned on the Sufjan Stevens version!), and happily added Set Me As a Seal when our pastor suggested we might want two for timing purposes. We were EXTREMELY blessed to have our dear friend Anna sing both of these as a solo. Anna has been one of my very best friends from third grade until the present day, and she has possibly the most beautiful voice of anyone I know. For timing, we probably could have used a third hymn, but these two were perfect as is!

Recessional: Ode to Joy
Played by: String trio and pianist
We considered a few upbeat secular songs for our recessional (Hallelujah I Love Her So, Wouldn’t It Be Nice, You’re Still the One), but decided pretty quickly to go traditional and repeat Ode to Joy. It’s the same hymn my parents and older sister used for their weddings, and I loved that we could continue the tradition!

I created a Spotify playlist with similar versions of most of these songs which you can access here. Let me know what you think, or, if you’re married, tell me what you used for your bridal processional! :)

I didn’t much mention our ceremony in pre-wedding posts (though of course, I shared our chapel with you here… also mentioned tidbits here and here), mostly because we wanted as much as possible to unfold as a surprise for our guests. Behind the scenes, however, our ceremony was the topic of choice in the months leading up to the big day. The ceremony was by far the most important part of the day to John and me; we wanted it to tell a story about our relationship (where we’ve come from), our present (what we value), and our future (our hopes and dreams). Arching over everything, we tried to make decisions that would celebrate the faith we have in our Lord.

We felt one of the best ways to do that was through our readings, and we’re so pleased with the ones we decided on! One was extremely easy to pick, one was fairly easy, and the last one was quite hard. I’d love to tell you about them!

The first one, the one that was easy, was an excerpt from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. MC is one of both my and John’s favorite books, and this passage in particular has always been meaningful to us. Here it is:

When I first read this passage, soon after John and I started dating, I pretty much hated it. I thought it was unromantic, and untrue. Seven years on, I find it both terribly romantic, and very true. I would love to hear your thoughts! This reading was given by Alyssa, whom we met in college and consider the first dear friend that we made together.

Our second reading I said was fairly easy to pick. We knew we wanted a reading from the Bible, and though we considered several, including Philippians 2:1-5, Philippians 4:4-8, Romans 12:9-18, and Proverbs 3:1-12, we eventually decided on Colossians 3:12-17, RSV:

I love this reading so much, and really look to it as a guide for how I should be treating John. The patience part, I am still working on :) Some of you might remember that we also used a verse from this reading (different translation) on our invitations, so including it in our ceremony was a nice way to bring things full circle. We asked our dear friend Jackie, with whom we attended both high school AND college, to give this reading. We like to think she was extra qualified, since she had just graduated with her Master of Divinity!

For our final reading, we wanted something more “literary,” since we both have always loved reading and I was an English major with a concentration in poetry. However, it was hard to agree on a reading that we both loved AND found meaningful. We considered a few poems (I love Neruda), tossed around the idea of an excerpt from a letter between John and Abigail Adams, and almost went with this one, except that John didn’t think we should choose something that he had never heard of before our wedding:

In the end, I’m glad he insisted, because the reading we ended up with couldn’t have been more perfect. We found it by going back through a box of old letters we sent to each other over the years. In one, I had included this excerpt from The Little Prince:

Once we chose this reading, we knew exactly who we would have read it at our ceremony: my high school English teacher and long time mentor, Amanda. She did a beautiful job!

Next week, we’ll talk ceremony music selections!

Tell me: Which readings did you choose for your ceremony? I LOVE hearing what people picked, so please share!