Happy Tuesday, friends! I apologize that we don’t have a new How We Do It installment for y’all today – Nancy is majorly under the weather, and since this week’s topic is one we feel so passionately about, we figured it was better to postpone than push posts out that weren’t up to snuff! The whole series is shifting back one week, so keep an eye out for our thoughts on organizing our work next Tuesday.

In the meantime, I have something fun for you. I was reading through some of my own 2017 survey responses recently as I helped my friend Rhi put her blog survey together, and it was so helpful to remind myself of the types of content y’all said you loved most!

One of those topics was home design. It’s not something I get to talk about terribly often as, though we have grand plans, we generally move at a snail’s pace :) But, I’ve been thinking through some fairly major changes I’d like to make to our living room over the next year or so, and I thought it would be fun to share them here!

I can sum up the changes in this way: I’d love for our home to feel like the cozy, warm, refined, and calm home of your most stylish and Southern childhood friend’s Mom. Got that? :) More Southern Living than Domino, but so warm and approachable — somewhere you instantly feel relaxed, and where you just want to spend a few hours nestled in and curled up, chatting.

So what’s my plan? The first change is that I’d like to evolve our color scheme to be a bit softer and more neutral. I’ve felt recently like it’s challenging to decorate seasonally or for holidays (something I love to do!) because adding any extra colors or layers on top of our already vibrant “look” takes things to a visually chaotic and cluttered level.

To this end, I’d first like to remove the red, orange, and coral tones to shrink our color palette a bit. That leaves us with blues, blushes, and neutrals, plus touches of green, yellows, and maybe deeper pinks here and there. Though I’m thinking of this scheme as a bit more refined, I still want it to come across as happy – that’s one of my favorite things about our home!

Removing some of the hotter tones means the red chairs, the area rug, our throw pillows, and even our floral artwork will likely be phased out. A few of these pieces I plan to sell to recoup some of the money we’ll spend on new furnishings; others I’ll repurpose elsewhere in the house. (I already have a spot picked out in our upstairs hallway for the flowers!)

The rug I’d love to replace with one in a similar pattern but a narrower palette – I’ve included a few options in the boards here! Also, if it’s not obvious from the boards, one of the things I’m most hoping to add is a pair of comfy armchairs (at least one with an ottoman!). To me, these epitomize the change: nothing says cozy to me like the comfiest, oversized armchair! I can just picture them paired with a reading lamp and lots of blankets to wrap up in :)

The last big furniture change is that I’d love to switch out the small dresser our TV sits on for a longer piece with doors instead of drawers so it’s easier to store June’s toys and for her to put them away herself. With the additional surface area on top, I’d love to display more family photos in frames. Also considering switching out our chest coffee table for something softer and lighter.

Whew! That’s a lot! Like I said, we’ll make these changes over the next year (if we’re lucky!!), but I like to have a vision for the end goal before we begin. I feel like I’m getting closer to that.

Honestly, though, the thought of making SO many large purchases so close together (and ones that we’ll hope to have for a long time, like the armchairs), makes me really nervous. Because of that, I’m considering hiring a local or e-designer in some capacity to help with the sourcing and confirm that my overall vision makes sense. Of course, working with a designer is an additional expense, but I feel like it might be worth it to put my mind at ease and feel like we’re stretching our money as far as we can.

Have one of y’all ever done something similar? I would love to hear, if so!! There are a few larger companies I know of, like Havenly and Homepolish, and then a few independent designers that I’d be interested in getting pricing from to compare. We shall see!

Sources from first board: vignette from Ashley Whittaker Design, armchair from Interior Define, bedroom unknown, pillow, basket, rug, stairwell, bedroom, ottoman, fireplace unknown, ottoman, living room unknown, bedroom

Sources from second board: armchairs, gray armchairs, blankets, living room, rug, window seat unknown, hutch, rug

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Y’all are making this series everything I dreamed of and more, so please, keep chiming in! To catch up any new gals: Nancy Ray and I are writing an eight-part series every Tuesday in January and February covering “how we do it” in eight different areas: the rhythms, habits, and routines that help us get things done and make the space and time for what matters most. You can read more of the backstory here.

Today’s topic is organization in our homes. With each post so far I’ve shared a few general thoughts before diving into specifics, and today, I wanted to start with the concept of emotional labor. Have y’all read some of the essays that have circled in the last few months? (This was a big one.) They’ve seemed to really resonate with people. Here’s an excerpt in case you’re not familiar:

Then I tried to gingerly explain the concept of emotional labor: that I was the manager of the household, and that being manager was a lot of thankless work. Delegating work to other people, i.e. telling him to do something he should instinctively know to do, is exhausting… He restated that all I ever needed to do was ask him for help, but therein lies the problem. I don’t want to micromanage housework. I want a partner with equal initiative.

Bearing the brunt of all this emotional labor in a household is frustrating. It’s frustrating to be saddled with all of these responsibilities, no one to acknowledge the work you are doing, and no way to change it without a major confrontation… It is difficult to model an egalitarian household for my children when it is clear that I am the household manager, tasked with delegating any and all household responsibilities, or taking on the full load myself.

Here’s the thing: I am unequivocally the household manager in our home. I also don’t find this to be particularly onerous, unreasonable, or unenjoyable. To me, it makes sense that one person would be the point person for information, household organization, and task assignment. And in my marriage, it makes sense that it would be me — because I naturally enjoy it more than John (one of my StrengthsFinder strengths is Input, so I like knowing all the things!); because I work fewer hours than he does; and because I mostly work from home (so it’s easier to do things like call for an appointment over lunch without needing to find a private space from coworkers).

Perhaps I’m happy to be the manager because my work in that role IS seen and appreciated. Perhaps it’s because my husband not only willingly chips in whenever asked but also takes initiative. Perhaps it’s because I’m a realist. Mostly, though, I think it’s because I consider it a privilege. I have exactly the family I’ve dreamed of, and I feel so lucky to be able to take care of them in a million small ways every day. It’s a privilege to help our family run smoothly as a wife and a mama. In a way, it’s been what I’ve been waiting for all my life.

I also want to acknowledge that if you are the household manager but DON’T enjoy your role – perhaps because you’re not appreciated for it, or you’re working more paid hours than your spouse – I hope that you can find a solution that works for your marriage! Just because women most often take on this role doesn’t mean that they HAVE to by natural law or that it can’t be split more equally. The most important thing is finding a solution that works for everyone.

Okay! Enough with the philosophical :) I thought I’d start my tactical tips with cleaning and a few basic household routines, since y’all were intrigued by my claims in my first post! As you’ll see below, we do clean, just perhaps not as often as most people? I don’t know, y’all tell me how we stack up! :) Here’s our typical schedule:

Daily:
Unload and load dishwasher
Wipe down kitchen counters
Tidy main rooms, including processing mail (after June goes to bed)
Pack lunches for the next day

Every weekend:
Wash sheets and towels
Vacuum
Sweep and mop floor (with our Braava!)
Make menu and grocery shop

Every month:
Clean bathrooms
Deeper kitchen clean (microwave, stainless steel, cabinet fronts, etc.)

Seasonally:
Various deep cleaning chores

John and I split these chores — we sat down and divided them up together equitably, based on our preferences, and we are always responsible for the same ones. I think knowing firmly who does each is key, because (in general) we just do them without nagging each other.

Other than sheets, we do laundry collaboratively during the week on an as-needed basis. I know it can be a headache for some people, but it just doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal for us – we just throw it in at some point in the evening whenever needed and tag-team moving it through the cycle of folding and back into the closets.

Another big part of keeping our household running smoothly is FOOD! I’ve written about meal planning before, but thought I’d offer an update since things have changed a bit since that 2013 post.

On Friday evening or Saturday morning, I sit down and plan out our meals for the week. Since our default is to make dinner at home, we first look at the calendar and figure out whether there are any days we know we’ll be dining out (maybe dinner at a friend’s house, or a day where we’re running around and don’t have time to cook). We also check to see whether we’re expecting guests any night. Once those are marked on the planning doc, we start filling in meals for the other nights. We pull ideas from Pinterest (meal boards here + here), from our collection of cook books, family recipes from my Kitchen Diary, and from my master recipe list on Google Docs.

Once we have our meals planned and they’re on our Lindsay Letters calendar, I put together a shopping list with any ingredients we need plus anything we’ve added to Alexa’s shopping list during the week. Though we used to shop at various stores in pursuit of the best deal, we’ve opted over the last year to only shop at Publix, which is maximally convenient but a bit more expensive. (We also were just gifted a Costco membership, and so have tentatively dipped a toe in there.) I usually shop during June’s nap on Saturday afternoon, though not always, as you can see below :)

Aside from these two big systems, what about the little random things that keep our household running smoothly? Here’s a list in no particular order:

1. I purge my clothes regularly while brushing my teeth. Yes, you heard that right :) While brushing my teeth, I choose my and June’s clothes for the next day, and that gives me time to consider what in my closet I haven’t worn in a long time. I know this sounds weird, but it works better for me than wholesale purges every few months! Less pressure if I’m only retiring one or two things at a time :)

2. We keep a donation box readily available. It’s in our bedroom, and any ready-to-be-retired clothes go straight into it, as well as any other unwanted clutter that needs to head to Goodwill. Once the box is full, I put it in my car!

3. I’m not afraid to re-gift things. This is not a source of guilt for me! It’s possible to genuinely appreciate a gift and also genuinely know that your home is not the best home for it. I only want to keep the best, the favorite, and the necessary (in the words of Emily Ley!), and to help do that, I freely let things flow to other loved ones. We have a spot in an upstairs closet where we keep these items, and regularly shop it for birthday, baby, shower, or “just because” presents.

4. With our cars, everything that goes in must come out. John is far better at this than I am, but the goal is that every time we get out of the car, everything that’s not supposed to be in there comes out with us: trash, water bottles, receipts, gloves, etc. This is an easy way to keep our cars clutter-free!

5. Our air filters come automatically. FilterEasy sends us two new filters every quarter at prices and quality comparable to buying at the store. We’ve always bought the super strong ones to keep dust and pet hair at bay, so this is an easy hack for something we were already doing. Bonus: they’re a start-up based in Raleigh! :)

6. Our frequently-used products are on stand-by. In addition to Alexa mentioned above, we have a few Amazon Dash buttons placed around the house for easy reorders: razor blades in a bathroom drawer, rinse aid under the kitchen sink, and Chlorox toilet wand refills in the bathroom. This is the future, people.

7. We store lawn care info in a Google Doc. It’s an easy way to track things like when we reseeded our lawn, how many bags of mulch we used, and when things germinated. I’d love to start another one where we can keep snapshots of the info cards that come with each of our plants!

As with all of these posts, I feel like I’m just scratching the surface – so if there’s something you’re curious about, don’t hesitate to ask! Otherwise, I would love to hear your thoughts on our cleaning rhythms!! I have the sense that other people clean more often, but perhaps that’s not accurate!

P.S. Don’t miss Nancy’s post here!

The rest of the series:
Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Lives: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Relationships: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Kids: Em’s post and Nancy’s post

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Soon after June was born and we realized how much time we’d be spending on the floor for the foreseeable future, a new rug for our living room moved to the top of our “to buy” list. While I loved the look of our old rug, it was scratchy and thin (and I even predicted at the time we would want to replace it when a kiddo came along!).

For its replacement, we wanted something soft and plush. I’ve also always loved the look of Turkish/Persian/Oriental-style rugs, vintage or otherwise, so that was our top choice. (Plus, all those colors can more easily hide spills!) These were a few of the photos that inspired me:

Glitter Guide, My Domaine, My Domaine, Style At Home, Traditional Home

I logged several weeks of searching my usual haunts – like esalerugs, where I’ve had good luck before – but everything in the size we wanted (9×12) was absurdly out of our price range. Then, I stumbled upon the Betty rug on One Kings Lane, and couldn’t believe my eyes. While the colors weren’t perfect, the price absolutely was – $575 + shipping and taxes (our total ended up right at $650). Since we were able to sell our old rug for $100, our net price was just over $500, which I think is incredible!

We eagerly rolled the rug out when it arrived a few days later and… meh. I felt it was way more orange and brown in person than it had appeared in the online photo, and the blue was more steely than aqua. On the plus side, the plushness was just what we were hoping for, the size was right, and the price, of course, was excellent.

I debated for several days whether to return it and try again, but in the end, I didn’t think I could find anything I’d like better even close to that price and decided I just needed to accept it and move on.

We’ve now had it for about a year and a half, and I still feel about the same way, ha! I wish it had more pink instead of orange, that the blue was brighter, and that there was less brown. (My dream rug is pretty much this one, but at six times the price of our current rug, it’s not happening unless the CWD crew gives it to me for free :)) But it’s served us very well, and if I ever find a reasonably-priced rug I like better, I know I’ll be able to get a good resale price on this one. Plus, we’ve gotten lots of nice compliments on it from visitors, and that’s always appreciated :)

Oh rugs… they are so hard! Any pieces in your home you’re currently living with because the price is right? :)

P.S. If you want to snag our rug for yourself, it’s currently on OKL for only $499, which is less than we paid!! Such a steal!

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John and I could not be more excited about our backyard project being underway! It’s still sometimes hard to believe it’s actually happening, because we’ve been talking about it for so long with no action!! But it’s real, it’s happening, and sooner than not the landscape folks will have packed up and we’ll be enjoying an entirely new backyard. I thought I’d share a little about our plans and inspiration, if you’re curious!

We had many months to plan and dream about what we’d like to include in our backyard, and here’s the wish list we came up with:

— more privacy
— more usable, flat lawn space
— L-shaped stairs leading down from the house, good for perching
— a pergola
— a flagstone patio with space for a dining table and fire pit
— string lights!

We are happily getting all of this, and we are so grateful! Here’s a little more detail about the major components of our plan:

— Remove the deck. In addition to liking the look of a patio more than a deck, we felt that dropping our seating area down three feet, to ground level, would help with privacy – because instead of having our heads above fence-level when seated, they would be below, so we wouldn’t constantly be looking into our neighbors’ yards.
— Remove two trees and level/grade the lawn. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE trees. Probably more than most people. Just ask John – I’m always grumbling about how the builders around here clear cut for new neighborhoods. But, in order to grade our lawn and maximize the small amount of space we have to work with, the trees had to go. Grading will also really help with privacy.
— Build a retaining wall. To deal with the differential created by grading our lawn, we’ll build a curving retaining wall along our back fence. Eventually it will be planted with lovely flowers and shrubs, but those will probably be added in over time as the budget allows.
— Add a patio. The deck will be replaced with a natural flagstone patio with space for dining, our grill, and a small fire pit. We were told flagstone was out of our budget by many landscaping companies, and I’m so grateful that we finally found the company we eventually hired!
— Add stairs and a walkway. Though we could have gone with simple wooden stairs down from the two doors leading to our backyard, I really wanted to make the stairs a focal point. They’ll also be made from flagstone, and should be an inviting place for people to perch. I can imagine friends lounging on them while hot dogs are grilling nearby and kids are playing on the lawn, which makes me so happy! A walkway will lead from the patio to our gate.
— Build a pergola. As a final privacy measure, we’ll be adding an airy, wooden screen on one side of the patio on which we can grow jasmine or climbing roses. It will also give us something to string lights to and from, a major priority! :)

And now, for a few inspiration pictures…

These images all helped inspire my vision for our stairs. I love how wide and welcoming they each are! And that Lucy Cuneo porch photo, top right… that’s the dream right there. Hoping to add lots of potted plants to our steps, too!

I had to include the backyard of our friends Meredith and Michael (middle right) – it’s always been one of my favorites!

I’m sure our backyard will not look nearly as good as any of these lovely spots, especially before our plants grow in, but these images all inspired me in some way – either the size of the lawn, or the materials used, or the shape of the space. Many of these have much larger pergolas than we’ll have, but I do love that look!

Over time, we hope to add lots of plantings for a lush, green look. I would love to include hostas, Confederate jasmine, climbing roses (maybe “Super Fairy”), David Austen roses, mock orange, and hydrangea! We’re also keeping our vegetable garden, and I’d love to find a spot to add more blueberry bushes.

So that’s our plan! So far, the deck and trees have been removed, the yard is partially graded, and the steps are partially constructed. We have our fingers crossed everything will be finished by the end of April, which would give us a few weeks to enjoy before it gets super hot out, haha!

Would y’all be interested in seeing in-progress shots, or should the next post be the reveal? Let me know what you think! :)