Today is the fifth anniversary of Articles Club! Five years ago this month, Stephanie and I posted an invitation on our respective blogs: would anyone be interested in reading articles together and discussing them once a month? It would be like a book club, but with articles! That first night, we sat around my living room with snacks and drinks in hand, 10 or so strangers who just happened to have a little blog in common. I didn’t know anyone in the circle except for Stephanie… which is a pretty crazy situation for an introvert to find herself in.
Five years later, the faces around the circle are beloved friends. Some of them are the very same, and some we have been so lucky to welcome in for a season or for good since then.
Articles Club this year, like most things this year, has looked a little different. We canceled our March gathering as the lockdown descended, then met via Zoom for several months. In August and September, we were overjoyed to gather again – outside, at Dix Park, with the most gorgeous sunset view of the city skyline and individual dinners on our laps. For our meeting this month, we’ll walk around the side of Stephanie’s home and spread out on her back deck, and we’ll toast to five years with cupcakes.
Though we have read a few sets of articles this year, many of our gatherings have simply been social – a chance to check in on each other and share the hard and the good of the past month. After all, the world has given us much to discuss even without assigned reading, and it has been a special gift to sift through all that 2020 has thrown at us with a group of people who care deeply about each other, who believe there is gray in the world, and who are capable of approaching differing opinions with good will and thoughtfulness – and even a little humor when needed.
Earlier this year, I came to the realization that these people are my friends. That might sound like a strange thing to realize, after five years – of course these are my friends! – but they haven’t come with all the trappings I typically associate with friendship: we don’t tend to gather much outside of our monthly meeting. I haven’t met many of their significant others or children. I don’t have all of their numbers in my phone.
And yet – I have sat around a table for hours in conversation with them. I have tried, and adopted, their favorite recipes. I have learned about their childhoods and their work lives, their meet cutes and political opinions and financial situations and beauty routines and Enneagram types, their thoughts on parenting and generosity and home design. We have laughed and cried and laughed until we cried. We have brought each other meals for new babies and exchanged books and beauty products. Our gatherings are always one of my favorite evenings every month.
So yes, these are my friends. Stephanie, Kelly, Ginna, Pressley, Chelsey, Stacy, Adelyn, Bethany, Libby, Julia, Mackenzie, Robyn, and everyone else who has joined us over the years – thank you! What a gift you have been to me.
While I don’t have my usual list of reads from the past year to share with you today – I do have this: my encouragement to step outside of your comfort zone and reach out a hand in friendship. Even if it seems scary, even if it seems risky, even if it seems complicated or likely to fail – a hand extended in love is always worth it. It might sound cliche, but it’s true.
Friends, I’d love to hear about a time when you took a risk on a new friendship, if you’d like to share! Almost all of my adult friendships have required a risk on my part, so I love hearing about other’s happy endings :)
Friends — welcome to the most spectacularly visually UNimpressive gift guide you’ve ever seen on the internet, ha! It’s been a hot minute over here, and though my time is short right now, I’ve been collecting gift ideas for months and can’t let Black Friday sales pass us by without offering up a few ideas for the ones you love!
But first, let’s talk about something. I think we can all agree that the best gifts are personal to the recipient, and perhaps even say something about the giver, and/or about the two’s relationship? What, then, would I have to offer as you search out gifts for your people? Why are we here??
The short answer: while I can’t pretend to shop for your sweet mom who calls you every Monday on your drive home from work, your sister who just moved to a new city, or your husband who is adjusting to life as a dad of two, I can offer up my best ideas for gifts that have been hits with the people I love. My hope is that somewhere in the list, you’ll find something that DOES speak to a personal connection — or will at least get your wheels turning!
With that, let’s get this show started!
For husbands, dads, and brothers: — A pair of Allbirds. John has the Runners in natural grey and loves them so! — Our friends brought this camping and I’ve wanted one ever since (they really work and we really need one for our backyard!). It looks kind of scary, but it shoots salt (!), which “decimates flies on contact.” — The comfiest joggers. John has a similar pair and changes into them almost every day after work in the winter. So cozy! — An old-school mug with one of his favorite places on it. — A fun book comparing ballparks then and now — Harry Potter Trivial Pursuit. I didn’t know this existed until a few months ago and now I must have it?! — A subscription to the Goodnewspaper (a quarterly print publication filled with really good news – and great design) — A custom photo mug. I had this lightbulb moment earlier this year that cute/slightly cheesy photo products don’t just show up on your doorstep when you have kids – someone has to get you them. Get him one :) — Sagrada or another great board game for a group or for two — Tickets to a sporting event, concert, or comedy show. I got John tickets for Jim Gaffigan two years ago and it was a huge hit!
For parents or in-laws: Obviously many of the above options would be good fits, but a few additional ideas…
— A sculptural watering can — A pretty insulated cooler bag (especially if your in-laws take long road trips like mine do!) — A lovely fireplace basket (or log holder) — A gorgeous wreath straight from the wilds of Maine (my favorite!) — An indigo block print tablecloth. We have and love this one! — The coolest wooden puzzles — A pretty straw hat (my Mom and I both have a similar one and get compliments all the time!) — PowerSheets, because they’ll help her figure out what’s next with the kids all grown up — A magazine holder. Bonus: include a subscription — my current favorites are Bon Appetit, Our State, and The Atlantic. — Cafe lights, if they have a little outdoor area. Offer to hang them as part of the gift! :) — Pretty potted rosemary — A cool pillow showcasing their home state (look closely!) — A keepsake interview book, to record their stories — A quirky baking kit, because retirees have time on their hands — A gorgeous gold cookbook and tablet stand — A sweet frame with a picture of grandkids, because that’s all they really want :) — A cooking class they can take together — Tickets to a show, concert, local river cruise, train excursion, sleigh ride, etc.! (<– all things my in-laws have done and enjoyed, ha!)
In light of my November goal to decide on all the gifts for all the people, I’ve been making many lists. One is of our helpers, and how we might make them feel seen and loved this Christmas. Here’s what I’ve got planned, and I’d love to hear your thoughts, too!
First, I’d encourage you to think outside the box here. There are of course the classic “helpers” – people like mail men, garbage men, and teachers – and they are great to remember at Christmas. But if your nail gal, local post office clerk, oil change person, or favorite checkout gal at Publix really makes your life better or brightens your day whenever you cross paths? I’m sure she’d get a kick out of being noticed and thanked in some way! Use the next few weeks to pay attention to who those people are and then brainstorm how you might delight them.
Our list this year – so far:
— June and Shep’s teachers will each get one of these SnapBaskets. I’m not entirely sure how I’ll present them, since they’re a little unwieldy, but I’m SO proud of this coup – I bought them months ago when they were on sale for $10 each!! I’ll pair the baskets with individualized, handwritten notes sharing the things we appreciate about them and why what they do matters so much to us!
For teachers, I also love giving a pretty notepad or notebook tied with a big ribbon and paired with a pen. If I was doing that this year, I would buy this set of 3 and this set of pens and then break them up into individual gifts, for a total of $10 per gift.
I also like the idea of a pretty tumbler! You could pair it with a coffee shop gift card to add a little oomph.
— Our babysitter will get a Write the Word journal. I have the good fortune of getting these fo’ free, but if you buy the bundle, they come out to $20 each, which I think is reasonable for a smaller gift.
— Our garbage and recycling men will get a $15ish Jersey Mike’s gift card and something edible (ideally toffee or peanut butter balls but if time gets crunched boxed brownies will do!). I tape a big note on a bright piece of paper to the top of our garbage and recycling cans that says, “enjoy lunch on us!” so it attracts their attention from the truck.
— This is actually the first time we’ve given a Christmas gift to our pastor (I don’t know, for some reason it never occurred to me to do so?!). He just got married and this is only his second Christmas season as a pastor, and I’m sure the schedule and commitments are overwhelming at times. So, I think I’m going to make and freeze a batch of our favorite beef stew – for them to pull out on a busy evening – and also give them a gift certificate to a local restaurant, to go toward a date night. And a note! Always a note :)
I’d love to hear: which helpers do you prioritize in the holiday season? What do you like to do for them? Let’s compare notes.
Hello, friends! I hope you had a thoughtful Holy Week and very joyful Easter. We worshipped at our church’s 9:45 service, skipped over to the WRAL azalea gardens to enjoy the blooms, then came home for lunch and an egg hunt in our backyard.
Shep was very into the family selfie :)
June has been practicing collecting things in her basket for months, so I knew we couldn’t let the holiday pass without some sort of search. Since we missed our neighborhood’s hunt this year, we decided to stage our own! I filled the eggs with little stickers and bunny grahams, and both prizes were a hit. For dinner, we had ham, twice-baked potatoes, asparagus, sparkling cider, and a deep dish chocolate chip cookie – YUM!
Speaking of yummy meals, I’ve been wanting to report back on the neighborhood meal swap I mentioned awhile back. Inspired by Victoria, a dear friend and I decided to switch off making meals for both of our families every Tuesday. We kicked things off in the first week of the year, and it was an immediate success on both ends. We made and delivered a Greek feast (grilled chicken kebabs, cucumber feta salad, hummus, pita, grilled peppers); homemade spaghetti and meatballs; beef stew and cheddar biscuits; meatloaf, roasted potatoes, and broccoli; Italian orzo; and more.
Don’t mind me, just going to keep rolling with the Easter photos while I have you :)
What a treat to have a hot meal delivered by a friendly face right at dinner time with no work on our part every other week! On meal delivery day, there was no racing around trying to get dinner on the table, just an extra hour to play with my babies or take a walk as a family. And on the weeks we were cooking, it was really no more difficult than the usual task of making dinner for our fam – we just cooked twice as much, and then zipped half two minutes around the corner!
We were going strong for about ten weeks, and would have kept going for many more… except that Katie and Co. bought a new house about fifteen minutes away. As happy as we are for them (so happy!), we were also a bit devastated. As y’all know, these introverts don’t make friends particularly easily, and when Katie inserted herself into my life via Instagram DM after spotting me pushing a stroller (true story), it felt like God had personally and graciously gifted me the neighborhood friend I’d prayed for. From our first walk, I just knew that we were kindred spirits.
That’s what we have been, and that’s what we’ll continue to be, but I can’t overstate the loveliness of having a close “friend family” a short walk away. Most of our friend families are scattered around the Triangle, many about a half hour away. We make the most of our time together, “binging” on each other’s company when we do get together, but if I had to choose, I’d take the dailiness of doing life together over an every-once-in-a-while spectacle every time.
My favorite part about our meal exchange was not, actually, the meals. It wasn’t even the time I got back with my family, or the opportunity to serve another family. I loved all those things, but what I loved most was the connection this experiment forced on me. As an Enneagram 5 married to a 5, it is easiest to rely on ourselves instead of stepping into the messiness of interdependency. Fives take care of ourselves, and generally think other people should, too. We can be awkward. We don’t like small talk.
But doing what’s easiest isn’t how you grow, and I don’t think the life I described above is the one I’m called to.
I’m called to a life where grace is needed, given, and received – even in the smallest things, like when I deliver dinner half an hour later than I said I would.
I’m called to a life where my imperfection is seen and accepted – like when I show up with noodles that are on the hard side of al dente.
I’m called to a life of vulnerability – what if they don’t like this dish? – and in pushing past that vulnerability instead of finding ways to avoid it.
And I’m called to a life where my days involve more than just my immediate family, where I’m regularly bumped up against other people asking how I’m doing… and really wanting to know the answer.
It is so very easy to be anonymous, to go it alone, to rely only on yourself, in the world we live in. Just pull into your garage, roll down that door, and go about your business. It’s safer and easier to call on Door Dash than another human being. But deep relationship is not only a reward in itself, it’s a requisite for growth. And growth is good and beautiful even as it’s hard.
Big lessons, big reminders, from something as small and simple as a meal swap. Do it for the delicious food, do it for the extra hours gained, do it for the growth – but just try it, friends! And then tell me how it goes :)
I’d love to hear: have you ever tried a meal swap, or would you want to? I’d imagine the biggest barrier for most people is finding a partner close by, since proximity is key to keeping it up long-term.
