Earlier this week, a child riding an electronic scooter was hit by a car and killed in the neighborhood next to ours. We pass through the intersection where it happened every day we ride our bikes to school. While this is not the opening note I usually strike in these monthly updates, it’s been on my mind, and it felt like what I needed to write about today.
First, a reminder: statistics show that the risk of a fatality when a car collides with a pedestrian is 5% when traveling 20 miles per hour. It increases to 45% at 30 miles per hour, and 85% at 40 miles per hour. This was a sobering, but helpful, reminder to me, and I’ve committed to driving at 20 mph through neighborhoods from now on.
Second, a reminder: change is possible. I was disheartened by those in our neighborhood Facebook group responding to statistics like the one above and pleas for drivers to slow down with comments like “they’ll fall on deaf ears” or “they won’t make a difference.” Sure, not everyone is going to be moved to action by a statistic, a Facebook post, or even a tragic accident – but some people will be. People change every. single. day. Change is possible. We must believe that.
Finally, a reminder: life is full of risks. In the first few hours of this close-to-home news, I struggled to know what to do with it. Surely an event as terrible as this would require something of me – some change in our behavior, some mitigation of risk, some further action that would keep my family safer. The hard truth is, though, we already wear our helmets. We already stop at stop signs. We already look for oncoming traffic.
So yes, I can and will drive even more slowly where I know children might dart out into the road. But we’ll also continue to play outside, and go for walks, and bike to school, and slowly but steadily allow our children more and more freedom – even when it scares me.
And with that, let’s wade together into the both/and. Here’s what’s ahead in June and a few other lighter things…
Our beautiful backyard hydrangeas! They have a tough time in the heat of summer, so this is their time to shine.
On my calendar: — My friend and I are hopping back on our bikes to ride the complete American Tobacco Trail! We finished 30 miles in April due to a rain delay. Here’s hoping the last fifteen aren’t too tough… — June’s last day of school. She and I are currently scheming decorations for our official dinner party. — A backyard Jess Ray concert. If you’ve never listened to her music, do yourself a favor.
What I’m loving right now: — We are somewhat far away from having a middle schooler, but this piece by Ashlee Gadd is a heart wrecker regardless. Read at your own risk. (Her writing is just so lovely.) — I tried out Jen’s playlist at the last Articles Club and it was so enjoyed that a few ladies asked about it – yet it also faded beautifully into the background. A perfect dinner party mix! — You know how when you make an Amazon return at Kohl’s they give you a coupon? Well, they sucked me in on my last visit and I ended up purchasing this dress. I think the silhouette and embroidery are so lovely!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in May: — The Inheritance Games | Meh. Am I now too old for YA books? I thought this one was fine, but for me, it certainly didn’t live up to the glowing hype. The characters, writing, and plotting were all just… meh (and I found it really hard to remember which brother was which). — Carrie Soto is Back | This was my first Taylor Jenkins Reid novel and it was solidly enjoyable! Extra fun because I was taking tennis lessons while reading it. The descriptions of the matches suck you in, Carrie is a unique character (I rooted for her even though she’s a bit prickly), and the drama of the four Grand Slams unfolding kept me up past my bedtime. The only thing that annoyed me – and I admit this is a detail that would perhaps only annoy an English major – is that I thought the author used too few contractions, which made the dialogue feel overly-formal in a way that wasn’t consistent with the characters. Make of that what you will, ha! — Camp Girls | DNF. Perhaps it’s because I don’t have my own camp memories from growing up to draw on, but what I read of this book just felt like a mishmash of one woman’s reminiscing – almost like an extended inside joke – without a compelling through-line to draw me in. — Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow | Loved it and loved it and loved it. I’ve written in this post and other recent book reviews about characters that just didn’t compel me; nothing could be further from the truth with this one. Sadie, Sam, and Marx were such complete, sympathetic characters. I raced through this book, wanting to know what happened to them next (but also not wanting it to end!). There WAS a devastating turn of events about 3/4 of the way through that made me want to hurl the book against the wall, but the theme of immortality woven through was fascinating and masterfully done. And, like every other review I’ve read, it must be said that I neither know nor care a thing about video games and still found this book completely engrossing. — Every Summer After | Meh. This book suffered from following directly after Tomorrow and Tomorrow, which I know is unfair, but it just paled in comparison. The characters seemed underdeveloped and the plot felt contrived and predictable. It was also a bit racier than I was expecting, and it definitely didn’t make me sob.
Revisiting my May goals: Edit Annie in April (It turned out so fun! Sweet Annie’s third-child energy is strong and it shows in her movie :)) Organize our master bath cabinets(Done! This area offered an especially great excuse to get rid of things we don’t use anymore, which is always satisfying.) Organize our loft (Done!) Send invites for the book swap (Done! I asked my friend Bethany to cohost with me and I’m very excited about the details we’ve dreamed up, including decor and prizes from this shop and this shop.)
June goals: — Settle into our summer rhythm — Film June in June — Paint our master bath cabinets — Clean out June’s room (with her help!) — Plan thoughtfully for our time in Connecticut and Maine — Complete final prep for and enjoy the book swap — Update our budget tracking (we’ve gotten way behind in logging expenses, so taking this on this month!)
I’d love to hear: what’s a recent (or not) book you panned but everyone else seemed to love? :)
Happy May, friends! I’m hoping you might be willing to help me with something as we open up a new month: I have reserved a space on Substack and would love your thoughts on how I might best put it to use.
In case you’re not familiar with it, Substack is a “subscription network” for creators – mainly writers – to share their work. “While social networks are associated with advertising and attention,” the founders write, “subscription networks are about direct payments and trust. While social networks facilitate shallow connections, subscription networks foster deep relationships.”
Here’s a bit more:
Heady stuff, and right up my alley :) As a writer, Substack seems like a natural place for me to have a presence, especially as it becomes less appealing to spend time on social media and writing is my preferred mode of sharing, anyway. Many writers whose work and perspectives I appreciate, like Emily Oster, Bari Weiss, Claire Swinarski, Elizabeth Holmes, Anne Helen Peterson, and The Dispatch have already found a home here.
Colliding with these thoughts is the fact that my current newsletter platform is now charging a fee to send my “new post” newsletter. As I’ve written before, I don’t need to earn my living on Em for Marvelous, but I’d prefer to not pay for the privilege, either.
I’m not about to abandon this space, though (14 years and counting!), and Substack is not particularly well-suited to image-rich posts (as some of mine are). So: most posts will stay here, and a new newsletter will live on Substack. This will allow me to: 1) easily share new posts with you, 2) provide additional content to those who choose to support what I do here, and 3) allow us all to play with what a promising spot on the internet has to offer. I think it could be fun!
But I’d love to hear what sounds fun to you, and what might add value to your life. So, if you’d like, please consider taking a short survey on the possibilities. I look forward to hearing what you think! If you have any questions, feel free to drop them in the comments.
The only other thing of note I wanted to share as we start this month is that John and I are experimenting with a digital detox for the next few weeks! As you know, we are generally about moderation in most things, including social media and screen time, but a pastor we admire is leading his congregation through a thoughtful fast for the next four weeks and we thought we’d give it a try. Perhaps I’ll report back at the beginning of June if there’s interest :)
On my calendar this month: — June and I have our mother-daughter sleepaway camp weekend! I am nervous but excited. — We are also camping for one night with our church small group – we’ll be 13 adults and 11 children (!). Though we’ve camped many times with the Rays, adventuring with such a big group will be a whole new experience. — June’s school is celebrating Teacher Appreciation Week this week! We’re following the PTA’s theme days (write a note on Tuesday, wear your teacher’s favorite color on Friday, etc.) and for a bigger gift, we chose a gift card to Fleet Feet, a local store, since her teacher is an avid runner.
What I’m loving right now: — Both of the books I’ve read by Justin Whitmel Earley have been slam dunks, so I was excited to hear about his new book, Made for People. I preordered it, which is rare for me, and am looking forward to seeing it arrive on my doorstep in August. — I found George Packer’s Opening Argument in the April Atlantic to be thought-provoking and clarifying. “The project of the guides is utopian, but they’re a symptom of deep pessimism. They belong to a fractured culture in which symbolic gestures are preferable to concrete actions, argument is no longer desirable, each viewpoint has its own impenetrable dialect, and only the most fluent insiders possess the power to say what is real.” — “I Thank God” by Maverick City is a real bop. I recommend a listen first thing in the morning to start your day off right.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in April: — The Flatshare | My mom and sister both loved this book (a debut novel) and I was happy to pick it up, too! The concept is clever – two roommates who never see each other because one works a night shift, and slowly get to know each other via post-it notes and observing each other’s belongings in the apartment. The female narrator, Tiffy, never quite crystallized as a character for me, but it was a feel-good story and I’d recommend it. (The 56k+ positive reviews aren’t wrong.) — Remarkably Bright Creatures | People are rapturous about this book (also a debut novel!), so my expectations were high. I enjoyed it, but I think I’d give it 4 stars instead of 5. The characters are a little hard to love, and there was kind of an unexpected amount of swearing in it? I did enjoy how the story unfolded and overall would recommend this one, too. — Marriage Portrait | I’d give this one the highest rating of the bunch this month, though I will say it’s probably not for everyone. The writing is exquisite; description is very much emphasized over action. I loved the concept – the novel is inspired by a scrap of historical record about a young Italian duchess who dies just a year after her wedding – and was impressed by how cleverly the author fills out the scant details into a full novel. One of the best parts: the ending was satisfying and unexpected. In another interesting twist, the actual marriage portrait of the main character, whose creation is detailed in the book, is displayed at the NC Art Museum in Raleigh. I think I’m going to take a little field trip to see it on a day off this month :) — Hunt, Gather, Parent | I’m rereading this parenting book so I can finally write a post on it! It’s as good as I remembered from my 2022 read.
My reading list for 2023 is moving right along!I’ve read nine so far and am in the middle of two more.
Revisiting my April goals: Organize our master bath cabinets Paint our master bath cabinets (I decided to table this one until June, as it’s a hands-on project I can tackle once summer break hits and June and I are hanging out more often during the day.) Complete 2008-2009 in the EFM book Plan well for our Asheville trip (Yes, it was wonderful! Report coming soon.) Send invites for the book swap Finish the Best of EFM page Film Annie in April
May goals: — Edit Annie in April — Organize our master bath cabinets — Organize our loft — Send invites for the book swap
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
As I suspected, April was a doozy (so much travel!), so this month I’m re-upping on several goals that I did not complete. Looking forward to seeing what I can check off on a second pass :)
April is looking to be a whirlwind month. As you’ll see below, we have several trips planned: a spring break trip to Florida with all of John’s siblings and parents to celebrate his mom and dad’s fiftieth wedding anniversary, and a weekend trip to Asheville to celebrate my sister paying off all of her undergraduate and graduate school student loans.
I love opportunities like these, to celebrate the people I love and to help them feel seen and honored. I’ve also learned that be able to do that as I’d like, and to truly enjoy these moments, I need to give myself plenty of time to prepare – otherwise, I’ll feel stressed in the moment and (more often than not) regret after the fact. I am not a wing-er. This was a hard-won lesson for me, as one of my only regrets in life is that I did not prepare well to toast my older sister at her wedding. So – scratching out toast drafts for my beloved in-laws and plotting ways to fete my adored younger sister is how you’ll find me this month.
Here’s what else is in the plans…
On my calendar this month: — Lots of travel! In addition to Florida and Asheville, I’ll be in Texas for several days for work. — Biking the American Tobacco Trail with a friend. We’ve blocked out a full school day to ride the 44 miles together! — A trip to the WRAL Azalea Gardens when everything’s in bloom.
What I’m loving right now: — I’ll listen to anything Tim Keller says. I so appreciated his piece in The Atlantic about needed revival in American Christianity. — If you love all things powder blue as much as I do, run, don’t walk, to Target. I snapped up four sets of these paper snack plates. — After many years with my beloved bow hat, it is finally looking a little worse for wear. After much deliberation, I chose this hat to be my new sun companion. I’m still getting used to the look, but I think I love it. (Tip: size up – I ordered a small first and had to exchange it for a medium.)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in March: — Girl With a Pearl Earring | I plucked this old favorite from our bookshelf when I was waiting on library holds. It was an interesting re-read… though I still enjoyed it, I found it to be different in feel from many of the novels I read today. More simplistic? I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I suppose it makes sense that what constitutes a popular novel might change in 20 years. — The Odyssey | Like many of you, I read The Odyssey in freshman English. I have fond memories of it (maybe not like many of you, ha). When a friend raved about this first translation in English by a woman, I happily added it to my reading list and pals, it did not disappoint! As one review puts it: “Wilson’s language is fresh, unpretentious, and lean…It is rare to find a translation that is at once so effortlessly easy to read and so rigorously considered.” The introduction and translator’s note at the beginning were lengthy, but fascinating to read – and made me even more impressed by all the work that must have gone into creating this version, which is written in near-perfect iambic pentameter and contains the exact number of lines as the original Greek (!). (And now I want to read Circe next – it only seems appropriate, yes?)
Revisiting my March goals: Cull and sort second half of 2021 photos Paint our master bathroom cabinets (Paint has been purchased! I went with Lehigh Green– seen above!) Tackle the coat closet Meet with a lawyer to update our estate planning documents (Appointment is scheduled for April!) Make a style guide for the EFM book Capture photos of our kitchen and bedroom to share updates
April goals: — Organize our master bath cabinets — Paint our master bath cabinets (will be revisiting this post!) — Complete 2008-2009 in the EFM book — Plan well for our Asheville trip — Send invites for the book swap — Finish the Best of EFM page (bless it, it’s been hanging out in a very unfinished way for months…) — Film Annie in April
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
What are you looking forward to this spring? I’d love to hear!
The daffodils are blooming in our backyard and the weather has been delightful these past few weeks. There are a few in water on our kitchen table right now – a gift. And another: your birthday well wishes. They were so thoughtful and kind, and one of the best parts of my day. Thank you, thank you. Onward to 36! :)
On my calendar this month: — My favorite kids consignment sale! I’ll be volunteering on Friday morning, so come say hi if you see me :) — The Survivor 44 premier! The Ted Lasso season 3 premier! Lots of good TV to look forward to this month. — Easter basket shopping with all three kids. I’ll go on individual mini shopping trips to Target with each kiddo to choose items for baskets we donate through a local program. One of my favorite traditions! There’s more in this highlight.
What I’m loving right now: — These Souper Cubes sat in my house for over a year before I tried them (long story), but wow am I glad I did! They definitely qualify as something you don’t think you need, but that end up making life just a smidge better. It is SO much easier to freeze and thaw manageable portions of soups without dealing with the mess of ladling liquid into a plastic bag or squeezing it out of one. (We’ve also successfully frozen and thawed mac and cheese and rice dishes.) — I enjoyed this piece from AHP on archiving the teen self. Lots to chew and reminisce on! — Brooke Ligertwood’s new live album, Seven, has been on repeat over here. Perfect background music while prepping dinner :)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in February: — Deep Work | Though the author’s writing was a little supercilious, I took several practical ideas away from this book – most notably, grand gestures and timed internet breaks during the day. He also expounds on the virtues of time blocking, which you know I love! — The Maid | Though some of you pushed back on my calling this book “delightful” in this year’s reading list, I’m going to gently push back again, because I really do think delightful fits, ha! Or at least, I was delighted by it. Yes, it’s a thriller, but it’s not scary or stressful – just a really good story with a memorable narrator, endearing characters, and a heartwarming resolution. I loved it.
Starting out strong with my reading list for 2023! Here it is, if you’d like to follow along.
Revisiting my February goals: Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos (I made progress!!! This goal has been on my list for months (IYKYK), so completing January through June feels like a huge win – even if it shouldn’t, ha!) Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2022 Tackle our upstairs hall closet (Yes! See the transformation here. Do you like seeing the process on a Reel? Even if I don’t share it, it’s always motivating to film a time-lapse! :)) Sell or clear out the remaining items from our kitchen refresh (Done! Gifted them all on our neighborhood Buy Nothing group.) Share some thoughts here around my birthday (Yes! This post took a bit of a turn from what I had expected, but I’m happy with it.)
March goals: — Cull and sort second half of 2021 photos — Paint our master bathroom cabinets (I’m thinking green!) — Tackle the coat closet — Meet with a lawyer to update our estate planning documents — Make a style guide for the EFM book (basically, a sample page to decide on layout, fonts, text treatment, etc. and get familiar with the Blurb software) — Capture photos of our kitchen and bedroom to share updates – finally!! My sweet friend (and reader!) Anna is coming by to take photos and I am so grateful.
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
