Hello, friends! Happy 2025! Having released the need to have my goals ready to roll on January 1 a few years ago – but fully retained my delight in sharing them with you here – I’m so happy to chat all things goals today. This is a process I find deep joy in. I know it’s not the case for everyone, but the idea of goals being stressful or guilt-ridden is alien to me. I say that not as some sort of strange brag, but just as an acknowledgment that I have been doing this a long time, and that the Cultivate Way is so deeply ingrained in me it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. To me, the goal-setting process is almost all upside: it’s a chance to clarify what matters in the big picture, make decisions based on what I uncover that focus my time and attention right now, and experience joy and satisfaction as I take small steps forward.
Goal setting, for me, also brings joy because it’s about connecting with others. Chatting with you all here, and with friends offline, has always been one of the best parts of goal setting! I’m grateful for our conversations and for your encouragement along the way.
Enough intro – onto the goals!
This year, I’ve organized my pursuits into buckets, loosely titled big goals, small goals, and habits – five of each. I’m also sharing my tech-related goals, though pointing you to The Connected Family for more detail on those. Buckle up, because we’ve got a lot to cover this year – more than usual! I’ve tried to describe each goal in brief below, but rest assured we will be chatting about many of these in more detail as the year goes on.
It also must be said: though I am biased, working on a spread of goals this wide without a system to corral them would be a recipe for overwhelm — but truly, when I have a place to capture ideas and next steps and a formula for pacing myself over the year, even an ambitious slate becomes simple to manage. For me, that system is the PowerSheets goal planner. I wouldn’t want to do a year without mine. We have just one cover left of our 2025 planners, so hurry over and get yours if that sounds good to you!
Without further ado…
Big goals
I’m calling these “big goals” because they will require planning and effort over many months.So original :)
1. Achieve a VO2 max of at least 38. I have a complicated relationship with my Apple watch. One unequivocal positive: discovering that it considered my V02 max (or “cardio fitness,” as Apple calls it) below-average. This was insulting enough to me that I’ve decided to do something about it. V02 is one of the best predictors of longevity, and I want to be around to enjoy this beautiful life as long as possible (and capable of enjoying it to the full).
My initial plan of action is to run once a week, and since I got a head start on this in late December I already have three outings under my belt. I would NOT consider myself a runner and haven’t run in years, but am so far finding it surprisingly enjoyable. My current V02 max is 29.9 (don’t laugh!).
2. Plan and enjoy our 20th high school reunion. John and I are celebrating a big milestone this year, and while it doesn’t appear our class as a whole is planning anything to mark the occasion, we have a dear group of ten high school friends spread around the country and are taking matters into our own hands :) As of this week we’ve confirmed a date – we’ll be gathering in Connecticut in June! – and I am so excited to start planning our itinerary.
3. Refresh our master bathroom. This is a big project, and while I have some hesitations about launching into it while still actively searching for a new home (though in an extremely picky way, ha), I am excited. Our kitchen refresh is only two years old, and while I’d be sad to walk away from it, I already feel like I’ve gotten so much enjoyment out of it. Even if we only get to enjoy 1-2 years in this refreshed space, I imagine we’d feel the same.
4. Launch the TCF audio course. A continuation of last year’s big goal, with not a ton of progress to show for it 🙃 Still to do: finish writing the course, record it, edit it, set up a sales platform, and launch it.
5. Celebrate “The Year of Dating.” Along with our 20th high school reunion, 2025 marks 20 years of relationship with John. Since I hope to have AT LEAST 60 years together, that means we are perhaps at the 1/3 mark, and I love the idea of digging in and putting our best foot forward as we move into our next 20 years of loving each other well. I don’t know exactly what this goal will look like yet – so far, to me, it does not necessarily mean more dates, but more reaching back to the mindset of dating (so far as this is possible in a midlife relationship with three children!).
Small Goals
These goals are, uh, smaller in scope and effort :) Most can be accomplished in a single month, or represent a one-time action or decision.
1. Complete June and Shep’s baby books. Our kids’ baby books span ages 0-5, so June and Shep have now officially outlived their books’ age ranges. Though they are mostly empty, I have all of the notes and data I need to fill them out, so this task simply involves transferring it into the books and printing out photos to include. It will feel great to have these squared away and I could do it in two afternoons if I just put it on the calendar.
2. Transition Annie’s room to a big-kid room. Annie is still in her crib (youngest child…), but her days in it are numbered. As she graduates from the crib, I want to thoughtfully balance making her space work for her as she grows and also retain its usefulness as a guest room. I’m considering adding a wall of built-in bookshelves as part of this process… we shall see!
3. Host a potluck party. I already have plans in the works to host another book swap party (and I can’t wait!), but long-time readers may remember that I’ve also had a wild hair to host a potluck party since 2020 (!). This is the year, perhaps in September.
4. Visit a PCP and complete bloodwork. It has been… many years… since I’ve visited a PCP. (Blame the cover of frequent visits to an OB in the last decade of pregnancy and birth!) This is a no-brainer and something I simply have to take action to get scheduled. (But it’s been on my radar since Annie was born and I haven’t taken action, so it’s going on the goals list this year!)
5. Buy an original piece of art. I wandered into a little art gallery in Boothbay Harbor while we were in Maine last year, and it was a revelation: there were so many pieces I loved, many already framed, at such reasonable prices! So much of the art I see online from the “trendy online artists” feels pricy to me, but I love the idea of adding a few small paintings connected to meaningful places in pockets around our home. One of my most prized possessions is a 5×7 painting of a Maine scene I inherited from my grandmother. More of that!
Habits
New things I want to do regularly!
1. Practice the piano regularly. In the interest of balancing my own creation vs. consumption scale, I’d like to continue practicing piano a few days each week. As we’ve listened to June play and helped her with pieces here and there, John and I have both rediscovered a love of the keys. This is not surprising: after laboring over screens and work-for-pay during the day, the analog act of creating beauty from nothing but our hearts and minds is potent to these two grown-ups! I’m aiming for 20 minutes four times a week, just like my daughter.
2. Keep a scripture memory ring on the table. Our family memorized several pieces of scripture last year (including Psalm 23!). I love storing up the Bible’s wisdom and encouragement in my heart, and the kids seemed to enjoy it, too. To make it easy to continue, I think we’ll choose a selection each month or so and keep them on a ring of index cards that lives on the kitchen table. Not only will it be simple to pick up a card and read from it in the process of memorizing, but having all the verses close at hand will help us retain them over time, too.
That was in 2020, and while the back-up system is still in place (praise), I have not kept up with organizing my photos in the years since, nor with clearing off my phone.
For this habit, I’m focusing on just the screenshots. I know there are gems in there — recipes, playlists, book recommendations! — and I’d like to move them somewhere they’ll be useful to me. So, each day of the year, I’ll sort through and take action on just that day’s screenshots from every year that has some. For example, on January 1, I might view and take action on screenshots from January 1 of 2020, 2021, and 2024. Just a few days in, it’s already been a productive delight.
4. Reflect the heart of the Father for the fatherless. Sounds grand, will likely be somewhat straightforward in execution. We have friends and neighbors who recently moved a few towns over, into a larger home, so that they have the space to foster. Caring for the widow and orphan is something that is clearly so important to Jesus, and I want to honor that. For the duration of their placements, I’ve promised my friend I’ll bring a meal and a box of diapers (if needed!) to her door once a month.
5. Read the Bible daily. John and I completed The Bible Recap’s chronological plan last year and I really loved it. In fact, I might be a bit in withdrawal :) On the other side, I am so grateful that I not only have a deeper knowledge of scripture and a wider understanding of its metanarrative, but I truly do have a greater hunger for God’s Word and an eagerness to learn more.
We’re resting from a chronological plan this year and plan to dive deeper into books of the Bible. (We’re a week into this plan but it’s not quite what we thought it would be, so may pivot!)
Tech Goals
Last week, I shared six tech-related goals on The Connected Family. I covered two of them in the habits section above, and here are the others:
Thank you, friends. Sharing my goals here, year after year and month after month, is quite possibly the most potent factor in any progress I’ve made, so thank you, as always, for being kind, listening ears! :)
On that note, I’ll be back with my January goals post and my 2025 book list over the next few weeks. Please feel free to join in on anything I’ve written here, or let me know if there’s one of my goals that you’d love to hear more about as the year goes on! OR, tell me what YOU have planned for 2025! Have you set goals yet? I’d love to cheer you on.
P.S. It feels too fresh to make an official goal, but the kids got some watercolor supplies for Christmas and I’ve been having so much fun experimenting with them! We’ll see how it goes, but I may add a mini goal to watercolor the postcards I send to June while she’s at camp this year :)
In the last few days, I have gently sidearmed several wonderful social opportunities from my December calendar. One was a monthly get-together with two dear girlfriends, another a lengthy phone call with a faraway friend. While I treasure and look forward to getting these on my calendar soon, as I survey what’s already on my calendar, it’s clear that adding something else in December would make it less likely I’d be able to enjoy the tasks I know I have ahead of me: wrapping gifts, addressing cards, reading picture books, sharing year-end posts right here on EFM. And I really do love those things, when I have the time to do them!
So yes, there’s a tinge of regret when I suggest postponing til January, but also the comforting feeling of caring for myself well. As a one of the friends said when she got my text, “this is big Enneagram 5 energy,” ha. Feel free to borrow a little of that energy today, if you need. Saying “let’s plan for January!” might just be the best gift you could give yourself now, no wrapping needed :)
On my calendar: — Handel’s Messiah at Duke Chapel (above). I’ve wanted to attend for years, and a few Articles Club gals and I finally made it happen! It was beautiful. — Dinner out with John for our 2024 review and celebration. Locals, we’re trying Figulina and this pasta lover is excited. — A post-Christmas mountain trip with my family. We’ll spend a few days in Blowing Rock and are planning to take the kids snow tubing for the first time! Fingers crossed for some real snow, too.
What I’m loving right now: — Crafting with my girl! One day last week while the two littles were on a playdate, we pulled a set of paper mache houses out of the closet and had a very fun two hours painting them, dusting them with “snow,” and adding a tea light inside. Ours were from this set I bought a few years ago, but this one looks similar or these ones (here, here, here) are cute, too! — I’m on a Defined Dish kick and these BBQ chicken tacos with jalapeno slaw were a winner! They come together so easily in the slow cooker and the taste is more multi-dimensional than jarred BBQ sauce, which I don’t always love. — All the Christmas picture books. Here’s a round-up of our favorites!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in November: — God of the Woods | After making it to the top of a 600+-person waitlist at the library, I’m happy to say I enjoyed this book! My brother-in-law is Liz Moore’s literary agent, and it’s been fun to celebrate the incredible hype surrounding it. That being said, I think the hype might have pushed my expectations a bit too high, because while I did thoroughly enjoy this thriller mystery set in the woods of New England, it wasn’t life-changing. (In fact, I may prefer her earlier thriller Long Bright River.) But definitely worth reading! — Tress of the Emerald Sea | This Brandon Sanderson novel made it onto my 2024 reading list because I was intrigued by its backstory: it was created as part of the largest Kickstarter campaign of all time. I made it about halfway through but ultimately decided to DNF :/ While it was described as appealing to those who love The Princess Bride (most certainly me), the characters, plot, and writing style all left me a bit underwhelmed. — When Breath Becomes Air | Stunning. As a reader of Cup of Jo, I knew about this book while Paul was still alive, but it’s taken me a decade to feel ready to read it. (The circumstances of his death and leaving his young wife and daughter behind hit me hard; I had also been knocked for a loop by The Year of Magical Thinking right before this came out.) Even if it took me ten years, I’m so glad I circled back around — it absolutely lives up to its reputation and is a moving, exquisitely-observed memoir. (And Paul himself – wow! Hard to imagine a more impressive person.) — The Christmas Pig | The kids and I listened to this while driving to and from Virginia over Thanksgiving (John was driving and had his Airpods in, ha). While billed as a heartwarming Christmas adventure, I would have liked to know in advance that there are significant hard and sad themes here: parents fighting, divorce, remarriage, bullying, anger, trash-eating monsters, etc. That being said, the kids seemed to LOVE it and clamored for it to be listened to whenever our car was moving. It certainly made the drive fly by. So take that for what you will! — The Kids are Alright | I feel like I have a LOT to say about this book but I shall try to sum it up in brief. I have read the blog Design Mom almost from the beginning, and have long admired the family culture Gabby and her husband seem to have created with their six kids. In more recent years, I’ve been disappointed to see her blog wither as she spends more time on social media and discouraged to see how hostile she’s become to anyone who doesn’t think exactly like her on any number of topics. I miss the days when she shared thoughtful insights into her family’s habits and adventures. All that to say — I approached this book with a bit of trepidation, but on the other side, I’m relieved to say I really enjoyed it. It seems we still have a lot in common when it comes to raising independent, connected kids who contribute to the world and love to spend time with each other, and this book felt like a throwback to (what I consider) her best blogging days, offering insights into how she and Ben have achieved that with their family.
My reading list for 2024! I’m 16 / 24 so far. Just one month to go and I think I’ll get to 1-2 more from my list!
Revisiting my November goals: Edit Sheptember, Volume 6 (Oh how I wish this were done! I have been laid low with a cold for 10+ days now and fatigue and earlier bedtimes have really curtailed me wrapping up some of these goals.) Design and order our Christmas card and newsletter (Done! For the first time this year, I was able to print our newsletter on the back of our Minted card due to a new “create your own” option. Fingers crossed it looks cute when it arrives but yay for one less piece of paper!) Finalize china salad plate choice (No progress here but I did just pull out our collection of Christmas salad plates so not going to worry about it for a bit :)) Sell the gray table to make room in our loft (Done! Feels so good!) Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive Paint the kids’ book ornaments (In progress! June’s is 95% done, Annie’s is 75% done, and Shep’s is 25%! Watch me paint here.)
December goals: — Frame a few pieces of kid art via Framebridge. We have a bit of money left over in our 2024 home budget category and you know what they say… use it or lose it! ;) — Find a dresser for Annie’s room — Edit Sheptember, Volume 6 — Finish the kids’ book ornaments — Submit the paperwork for my own passport renewal — Stuff, stamp, and address our Christmas cards — Execute our end-of-year generosity plans — Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most. Even to me this sounds somewhat trite, but also the best way I know to celebrate the arrival of a tiny baby king who did the same.
I’d love to hear: What have you read and loved recently? I’m working on my 2025 reading list and would love to hear your suggestions for what should make it on!!
October was full (actually, really full as I look back at my calendar), but its pace felt just right. We had time for movie night each Friday, for playdates and playing outside, for an impromptu hot dog and fire pit dinner with friends, for crafting Halloween costumes and walking to soccer and celebrating birthdays and TTT and volunteering at school each week. I try not to take any of it for granted, because it is all precious to me – and though it doesn’t feel like I’m fighting for it in the moment, I know we stacked many decisions on top of one another to get to this place. In this month of gratitude, I am grateful.
On my calendar: — Voting, always. — Thanksgiving in Virginia with John’s side of the family! — Beginning my 2025 PowerSheets. I chose Aloe!
What I’m loving right now: — Clothing swaps! Every few months the ladies of my church community group do a clothing/home items/toy swap and it is the best! I left the last one with two new-to-me pairs of jeans, a real boon to my wallet. — Speaking of jeans: In addition to the CG jeans, I bought this pair after trying them on in store. I feel like they’re a very wearable pair of wide-leg jeans if you, like me, have been hesitant to branch out from skinnies! — I’m surprised I’ve never mentioned this before, but this carpet spray is a dream for getting stains out of rugs and all kinds of upholstery. I just ordered another bottle.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in October: — The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Perilous Journey | Just trying to keep up with my oldest reader! I’m always grateful when she wants to share something she’s read and loved with me. — The Pursuit of God | Reading this one as part of a book club at church! Written in 1948, with scripture quoted in KJV, I think I’d have missed a lot of its depth without the chance to discuss it with others. — The Outlaw Noble Salt | Loved loved loved this one! It’s a sweepingly romantic tale that explores an alternative ending for America’s most famous outlaw – a happy one, to boot. I found it fascinating how the author turned the idea of an outlaw inside out, making him the most steady and trustworthy character in the book. You’ll fall a little bit in love with him and be glad you did. Still thinking about this one weeks later! — The Tech-Wise Family | Re-reading an old favorite! I first read this little number in 2018, towards the beginning of our family’s life, and credit it with shaping and encouraging our bent toward digital minimalism. It holds up!
My reading list for 2024! I’m 14 / 24 so far. Two months to go and I hope to read 3-4 more from my list!
Revisiting my October goals: Edit Sheptember, Volume 6 Create our family Halloween costumes (Done! See them here!) Refinish the dining room table (Yes! I used a semigloss finish and it is now soooo much easier to wipe clean!!) Finish TCF content planning for the rest of the year Finish writing the TCF course (I did not finish but made major progress! Over six hours, I wrote all of lessons two and three and about half of lesson four. There will likely be five lessons total!) Send care packages to our favorite college students List items that have been accumulating on Buy Nothing Make a Christmas decor plan Choose our new china salad plates (I didn’t have time to make it to Replacements but ordered and returned two sample plates… so a little progress!) Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive
November goals: — Edit Sheptember, Volume 6 — Design and order our Christmas card and newsletter — Finalize china salad plate choice — Sell the gray table to make room in our loft — Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive — Paint the kids’ book ornaments. This was such an unexpected delight last year and I’m so eager to get started! I have June’s and Shep’s books picked out but I’m still debating Annie’s… there are just so many picture books we love!
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
I’d love to hear: if you had to pick one book for each of your kids (or for yourself!) to sum up the year, what would you choose?!
P.S. Gift guides are coming! I am planning the following posts, but open to your requests: gifts for Em, stocking stuffers for kids and grown-ups, and what we’re actually giving our kids this Christmas. I’m also considering an updated post on some of John’s clothing favorites, since the original was a hit but is now three years old!
I drafted this post late in September, a few days before Hurricane Helene hit Western North Carolina. Under what I was looking forward to I had listed our annual fall mountains trip, which was scheduled for Lake Lure. “These trips have been some of the sweetest times together each year for our family,” I wrote.
As best we can tell, the town of Chimney Rock, where we planned to stay, is almost completely washed away. The Flower Bridge, which we planned to visit, is washed away. The Lake Lure Dam has so far held, but only just so. Hundreds of roads are closed. We will not be traveling to WNC in a few weeks, and we are devastated by the loss of life, property, and beautiful landmarks in our beloved mountains.
This week has been a flurry of Spirit-empowered prayer, text messages between friends, Venmos sent to friends of friends, notes compared, networks activated, giving opportunities shared, diapers and water and socks and trash bags loaded in trucks headed west. John and I have also donated to Samaritan’s Purse, whose headquarters is smack dab in the middle of the disaster, and the Red Cross.
We will continue to pray and give, to gather and send. And we will continue to earnestly tend to the small details of our lives, loving our people by what we say and what we do. May all my NC neighbors have that opportunity again soon.
On my calendar: — Seeing the Lazy Genius at Quail Ridge! A quorum of Articles Club will be in attendance for her book launch and we are excited. — The NC State Fair! I promised the big kids we could ride on the giant swings this year :) — Lara and Ari’s vow renewal! Grateful to get to celebrate their love with friends from all over.
What I’m loving right now: — 2025 PowerSheets are available now! I went with the Aloe cover and it is even more beautiful in person. Join me! — E. Frances Paper Little Notes, but also the ingenuity of Articles Club. One of us was thinking of ordering these cute little card packs, but instead of placing an individual order she opened it up to the rest of us. We each picked our favorite design (only paying shipping once!) and then once they arrived she mixed and matched to give us each a set of 85, but with 11 patterns! It’s been so fun to use them for lunchbox notes, gift tags, and place cards. — My Numi undershirt, which I just pulled out in anticipation of cooler weather. I have the crop and it is so helpful for wearing under sweaters so that you don’t have to wash them each wear! I bought mine on Black Friday last year, so may be worth putting on your BFCM list.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
Last month on The Connected Family: — Our 10 favorite family movies (so far) | A survey of the past three years as we start the cycle over! — Four reasons I love camping | And a little recap of our most recent trip. — 50 Dreams | The fuel of a rebel family. — Things we do differently | Not a prescription, just permission to make the choices that help your family thrive – in big and small ways.
What I read in September: —The Frozen River | This one first caught my eye on a list of books featuring happy marriages (too rare!) and then was enthusiastically recommended (and a copy pressed into my hands) by Nancy. Both recommendations were spot on – this gripping historical mystery will battle it out for top book of the year for me! I was hooked by the narrator (a midwife in 18th century Maine) a few pages into chapter one and she never let me go. A note that the plot centers around sexual assault ❤️ — The Lost Letters of Pergamum | A slim little book that was recommended by The Bible Project. While it’s a fictional series of letters between the Biblical author Luke and a Roman civic leader, the author, a New Testament scholar, weaves historical information throughout to create an engaging (and sometimes appalling) look at the social and political world of Jesus and his first followers. — All Thirteen | One of my favorite bloggers has been raving about this Newbery Honor book for years, so I came in with high expectations. And I enjoyed it! It’s written for middle grader readers and filled with fascinating details about the 2018 cave rescue of the boys’ Thai soccer team. Planning to reread it with the kids when they’re a little bit older.
Revisiting my September goals: Film Sheptember Write my Thrive Motherhood presentation (Done! Whew! This was a beast but in the end fun to present – and a great push to get me back into writing the course!) Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive Finish the 2015-2019 photo album (YES!!! Locked and loaded and now just waiting for a 20% off coupon to hit print :)) Print photos for our new mantel frames Sort and tag for the consignment sale Tackle the upstairs closet Complete our passport appointment Complete 40 hours of deep work (28!)
October goals: — Edit Sheptember — Create our family Halloween costumes (We took a year off and I am v. excited about what we have planned for 2024.) — Refinish the dining room table (A beast of a job but I last did it 11 years ago (!), so it’s time. Hoping I can get a string of crisp days and work on the porch!) — Finish TCF content planning for the rest of the year — Finish writing the TCF course. (The Thrive presentation was a great reminder of how well I work with a deadline. I’m just going for it this month!) — Send care packages to our favorite college students — List items that have been accumulating on Buy Nothing — Make a Christmas decor plan. (Nothing fancy here – I just love decorating for Christmas and want to give a little thought for how we’ll proceed this year so I can arrange for anything new I need in advance!) — Choose our new china salad plates! (The ones from our wedding registry are scratched beyond recognition after 12 years of daily use and runs through the dishwasher. I’m grateful for every moment we’ve had with them and excited to choose something new! I’m in my green era so expecting to land on something in that shade – I like the look of this and this!) — Read chapters 13 and 14 of Outlive
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
Grateful for you, friends! Feel free to respond to anything I’ve mentioned here or anything else that’s on your mind.
