This is one of those months where it looked like not much got done on my goals… and in some cases, that’s true! I definitely did not make as much progress as I had hoped in some areas. But in others, specifically our master bedroom refresh, my goals did exactly what they were supposed to: they started the ball rolling, and now that it’s rolling, the momentum will carry the project forward. Onward to March, and the first month of spring!!
On my calendar: — Our spring break trip to Jekyll Island! Very grateful for the chance to get away to the beach (and to experience a part of the South we’ve never visited!). — An outdoor lunch with a high school friend we haven’t seen in years — Some St. Patrick’s Day after-school snack fun like this or this
What I’m loving right now: — As the weather turns warmer, I’m starting to think about freshening up our outdoor spaces. I snapped up this pretty (and good size!) pot a few weeks ago (it is that prettiest blue color that so many of us love!) and purchased this adorable lemon one as a gift! (The orange pattern is also adorable!!) — If you’ve been around here any length of time, you’ve heard me sing the praises of Expecting Better, my favorite pregnancy book. The author, Emily Oster, is an economist, and her (free!) weekly newsletter is my new favorite. She writes a lot about COVID and risk, as well as other parenting and pregnancy topics, from a pragmatic point of view. — By now, surely someone has already told you to watch Ted Lasso, but if not, allow me to be that person. It is funny, sweet, so sincere, and full of life lessons I am still unpacking. COMPLETELY WORTH the $4.99 Apple TV+ subscription for a month, or you could do a free trial and finish it in a week :)
What I read in February: — Essentialism: I liked this book. A lot of it was things I already understood and agreed with (but even things we know and agree with benefit from a reminder every so often). Like many of you, I bristled at some of his suggestions which seemed unnecessarily selfish and not in keeping with the life we’re called to as Christians (similar to The Four-Hour Work Week). Though in the end I felt he failed to deliver on the main promise of the book (how to distinguish the “trivial many” from the “essential few” in an on-the-ground sense), there are some good nuggets to take away. — Crazy Rich Asians: Fun! Though I enjoyed the book, this is a case where I actually may have preferred the movie – the sprawling families are harder to keep track of on the page, and the glitzy fashion and settings are fun to see on the screen.
Revisiting my February goals: Book our annual camping trip (researched, no booking yet!) Book our mountains trip for this fall (did a bunch of research but haven’t booked yet!) Watch the Theolaby bonus materials with John Focus on small tweaks and refreshes in our bedroom, including a new paint color (!), new curtains, and a new grid of photos. (though none of these things actually got done, decisions were made and our handyman was booked!) Finish submitting June’s kindergarten paperwork Finish culling and sorting the second half of 2020 photos (did two more months!)
March goals: — Finish culling and sorting the second half of 2020 photos — Book our annual camping trip — Book our mountains trip — Plan and prep for our spring break trip — Focus on small tweaks and refreshes in our guest room — Style our mantel for spring — Have our carpets cleaned (We have lived here 8+ years and have never done this… are you screaming at your computer?! Or Googling a carpet cleaner near you because you’ve also never done this? Ha!)
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2021 goals!
Let’s discuss: is there a movie adaptation you actually preferred to the book? Or maybe a movie adaption of a beloved book you loathe?
P.S. Read all the way to the bottom looking for the extra-exciting post I teased on Friday? I’m so sorry for making you wait – hopefully later this week!!
Here is a goal success story! And it’s not even one I highlighted on my January list! Actually, you might call it a habit success story. As part of my number one goal for 2021 (making room for God’s presence), I committed to a discipline of “Word before words” – reading something from the Bible before I tuck into my current book at night. Reading before bed is a deeply-ingrained habit and something I look forward to, and when you’re looking for something to tie a developing habit to, this is exactly what you’re looking for. I didn’t fudge a single day!
Consequently, in just a month, I read through the whole book of Mark!! (You may recall it took all last year for John and I to read through Matthew together.) Did I have any major revelations? No. But I believe deposits of scripture like this can and will be used by God, and I am grateful for that. On to Acts!
On my calendar: — Making valentines with June! She has decided we’re going with a bunny theme this year, so I think I’ll add bunny grahams as the treat. — Our Valentine’s Day fun. — Celebrating Chinese New Year! Charnaie has some great book recommendations and we will 100% be eating dumplings. — My birthday! Hoping we get a sunny day so we can go for our traditional walk in my favorite Raleigh neighborhood.
What I’m loving right now: — It feels funny to recommend a podcast I routinely fast forward through 50% of, but here we are! Brooke and T.J.’s casual banter can get a little long-winded (hence the fast forwarding), but I appreciate their takes on topics that matter to me (family life, faith, generosity, marriage, intentional living). They cover topics that many others don’t touch in a way that feels personal and helpful. — I hesitate to recommend skincare because it’s so individual, but this toner is too good to keep to myself! I’ve long struggled with dry, flaky skin on my forehead, and this is the first product that’s ever made a difference. The flakiness is gone, overall my skin is smoother, and I do think my pores look a bit smaller, too! (Fun fact: I discovered this via an online order sample. I don’t try 90% of the samples I receive, and I’m not sure what made me pick this one up, but I’m VERY glad I did!) — After being eh on June’s balance bike, we picked up a different model for Shep, and are loving the Kazam so far! He’s already coasting after just a few weeks!
What I read in January: — Such a Fun Age: Ooooh, y’all, for the most-recommended book, I expected a little more! It did hold my attention, but ultimately left me feeling empty. The snarls of modern life often feel icky and complicated enough in real time, without reading about made-up complications in my leisure time. Plus, Alix was just weird. Am I missing something?? — Oh Crap! Potty Training: I maintain that potty training has so far been the roughest developmental stage because I did not read a book on the subject beforehand. Skimmed this to remedy that before we dive in for a second time… — Essentialism: About halfway through! Will review next month once I’m finished.
Revisiting my January goals: Research all school options for June. Watch the Theolaby bonus materials with John Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2020 Finish culling and sorting 2020 photos (January-June done!) Write our sweet girl a note for her fifth birthday (continuing a tradition) Complete her birthday interview Prep for Valentine’s Day fun Focus on small tweaks and refreshes in our foyer(Magic Eraser-ing made SUCH a difference! I also picked out a pretty linen light fixture but am holding out for a President’s Day sale :))
February goals: — Book our annual camping trip (going in the spring this year – hopefully we’ll avoid the cold weather!) — Book our mountains trip for this fall (places book up SO early!) — Watch the Theolaby bonus materials with John — Focus on small tweaks and refreshes in our bedroom, including a new paint color (!), new curtains, and a new grid of photos. Maybe not so small :) — Finish submitting June’s kindergarten paperwork — Finish culling and sorting the second half of 2020 photos
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2021 goals!
Making travel plans last month for spring break left John and I so jazzed (reminding me that a big portion of the enjoyment from travel is in the planning and anticipation!). In that spirit, I’d love to hear something you’re looking forward to this year, whether travel or otherwise!
Whew! After finally posting my 2021 goals, my blog comments up and quit on the same day!! If you had somanythoughts you were bursting to share but couldn’t, feel free to head over there now to do so, ha! I always LOVE hearing from y’all.
As I said in that post, this is where it gets good – these monthly posts where I break down my goals, take little steps forward on the things that matter to me, and hold myself accountable (with your help!). Even though we’re about halfway through the month, there’s still plenty of time of time to take action :)
A few housekeeping reminders here at the beginning of the year: if you’d like to get an email every time there’s a new EFM post, you can sign up for that here. If you’re ever searching for something I’ve mentioned loving in a past goals post, you can find it here. And if you’re looking for my Amazon shop (mostly favorite books and kid stuff!), you can find that here! Now, onto the goals…
On my calendar: — Celebrating our 16th dativersary! Hoping we can go out for dinner if we have a warm enough evening. — A hike with friends!
What I’m loving right now: — Received via the Coffee & Crumbs newsletter, this essay on “our shared unsharing” hit home for me. It reflects a lot of what I’ve felt in the last year about sharing (or not) on Instagram, and what I’ve noticed about trends on the platform. The author’s parallel experience of bringing her love for magazines and storytelling to IG also felt very familiar! Worth a read. — I’ve followed NieNie off and on since her accident 12+ years ago, but resubscribed to her blog a few months ago when I realized she now lives in the next town over! I have really loved watching the intentional way she shapes her family culture (and celebrates all the things). It’s so rare to find blogs featuring families that are out of the preschool/elementary years! — Gosh, Target has killed it with their Valentine’s Day collection yet again. This mailbox ($5!) will play a key role in our February plans, and I also picked up one of these pale pink melamine bowls for each member of our family. (And the heart plates!! So cute!) We’ll use them year-round. (Also, not Valentine’s Day related, but I snagged these seagull swim trunks for Shep in the same order. Again, so cute!)
What I read in December: — The Handmaid and the Carpenter | A short little book bringing Mary and Joseph’s story to life. Elizabeth Berg is a favorite author of mine and it was a treat to hear her take on this famous story! — The Great Alone | One of my favorites from the year! Though there is tragedy and darkness woven throughout, it’s an epic, engrossing tale that ends on a bright note. Love, love, love. — Time to Parent | I’m going to file this one under “good for her, not for me.” I agreed with most of her ideas about organizing our time and actions as parents, and there were some gems tucked in, but I’d say this book was a 101 level, and time organization is probably one of the things I’m better at in life. If you’re struggling to find time for all of your priorities as a parent, I think this would be a great read! — HRH: So Many Thoughts About Royal Style | I found her writing a little chatty (Can you imagine? Don’t you think?) but it’s a fun read (and totally got us back into The Crown!). — Make Something Good Today | I had the joy of reading Erin’s daily blog that inspired this book long before HGTV found her and Ben. Her writing was something special back then, and it shines here, too. I don’t think you need to care at all about their show to enjoy this book, though, of course, if you do, you’ll probably like it even more!
January goals: — Research all school options for June. We are pretty sure we know what we’re going with, but the Enneagram 5 in me needs to know everything has been considered, and there’s a registration deadline this month. EEK! — Watch the Theolaby bonus materials with John. We bought the box set as part of the kids’ Christmas presents, and it came with some videos from Jennie and friends! — Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2020 — Finish culling and sorting 2020 photos — Write our sweet girl a note for her fifth birthday (continuing a tradition) — Complete her birthday interview — Prep for Valentine’s Day fun — Focus on small tweaks and refreshes in our foyer, including a new light fixture
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2021 goals!
I’d love to hear: how do you celebrate Valentine’s Day? Any fun ideas to share? Did anything resonate with you from the shared unsharing piece? :)
This is by far the latest I’ve ever published a yearly goals post.
It’s funny – a few years ago, I felt pressure to post my goals on January 1, on the dot, as if no one would be interested in them on the 2nd. Thankfully, I no longer feel that way (and I know that, wonderful people you are, you’re still interested in what I have to share, even a few days later than you expect!).
As always, I’ve been faithfully engaged in the process of reviewing, evaluating, and dreaming with the help of my PowerSheets. I feel quite clear about the year ahead, but when it came time to write my actual goals and share them with you, I stalled. They felt disjointed, and overly complicated.
That hit me hard, because I loved my 2020 goals. Though I certainly had to pivot on my execution as the year progressed, I was passionate about each one, loved how they moved me forward in the big picture, and pleased with how they turned out. It turns out 2020 goals are a tough act to follow, for me!
After stewing and complaining to John all last week (and then getting derailed again by my anger and sadness over Wednesday’s events), I sat down this weekend determined. I rewrote and laid things out as plainly as possible. And I remembered what we always tell people at Cultivate, which apparently I needed to be reminded of, too: you’re allowed to change course throughout the year. Your goals don’t have to be perfect. What matters is forward movement in the right direction.
I do believe these goals are moving me in the right direction, and I’m grateful to share them with you today – because sharing here is one of the key factors in the progress I’ve made on the things that matter so much to me, year after year. As always, thank you for being here, friends!
1. Make room for God’s presence by reading the Bible. I have a two-part faith goal this year, inspired by a sermon I listened to in December. In it, Darren outlined three ways to cultivate defiant joy as a Christian, inspired by Philippians 4:4-8 (because, as he said, the only people experiencing joy in this season are those cultivating defiant joy). They are: give thanks, because gratitude uncovers joy; make room for God’s presence through time in the Word, prayer, and worship; and set joy before you (by focusing on what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy).
When I am regularly in the Word, I am abiding in Him and better able to exhibit the fruits of the spirit as a wife, mom, friend, family member, neighbor, writer, etc. For this goal, I’ve started with a simple commitment to “Word before words,” or reading my Bible each night before I pick up my current fiction or non-fiction read. Excited to dig into and apply Women of the Word in Q1, too!
2. Set joy before us. This is part two! There are so (SO) many things vying for our attention these days, and I want to thoughtfully direct my eyes, heart, and effort to what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy. I’m starting by printing out the above to post on our fridge as a reminder. Though this goal might look like removing some things from my life (The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry has some great thoughts on this), I am most excited to add lovely and excellent FUN in, possibly including hosting the meal planning potluck I dreamed up last year (sometime in 2021??), baking something with June every week from her new cookbook (we’re three weeks strong so far!), holiday fun (excited about my plan for Valentine’s Day), and adventures big and small.
3. Do those things we’ve always wanted to do for our home. After some ambivalence, we are at a place where we feel settled in this home for the next few years at least. If there are upgrades or changes we’d like to make, I’d like to do them now, when we can enjoy them, rather than in a rush before putting the house on the market for someone else to enjoy! Y’all know I am the world’s SLOWEST decision maker and shaker when it comes to our home, and in many cases, I’ve known for YEARS the changes I’d like to make. This year, I’d like to do those things. For most rooms, it’s not much!
4.Refresh our home. After 8 years of life with the Thomas family (including welcoming two kids!), our home is showing some wear and tear. There are lots of small, boring projects (paint touch-ups, Magic Eraser work, carpet cleaning, stain removal, caulk repairs, etc.) that would make our space sparkle like the day we bought it. In tandem with goal no. 3, we’ll go room-by-room to address any little refreshes that will help our home look and feel loved. This might be the most boring goal I’ve ever set in my life, buuuuuut… I hope it will be satisfying? Ha!
5. Build our family culture as we transition to an elementary-school family.Told you a version of this goal would be on most lists for the foreseeable future! :) This is my catch-all goal to remind myself to focus on small ways to love my family well, intentionally nurture the character traits that are important to us, and make our home the most joyful, loving place to be. This year, I expect to focus on rhythms and routines throughout the year as we adjust to having a kindergartner, including having fun with our kiddo and grown-up dates; connecting more regularly with faraway family; possibly implementing a family economy for June; and finding new ways to teach our kids about God.
6. Prioritize memory keeping. This is a bit of a carry-over goal from 2020, as I made great progress on our Advent calendar and family albums last year. Setting this goal will help me prioritize finishing the calendar, completing our second and third albums, and keeping up the rhythms of things like yearly videos and photo organization. We also plan to do a few family photo sessions this year, and we all know those take considerable effort to orchestrate!
7. Encourage each other to grow strong through cycling, strength workouts, and stretching. Something that became very clear last year is that in terms of exercise, John and I do best when we feed off each other’s energy (unlike our Bible reading goal, which is a better individual pursuit for us). The foundation of cycling, strength workouts, and stretching we set last year has been so fun to pursue together, and I’m excited to keep it up in 2021. Knowing it will look different at different points in the year, I’ll be setting monthly goals to follow through!
8. Make a book of the first 10 years of EFM. While I place tremendous value on sharing here with friends near and far (and LOVE hearing from you when a post touches you – truly, one of my favorite things!), I have long thought of this place as a repository of stories, memories, and wisdom for my children. I’d like to create a physical book for them of the best posts from the first ten years of my writing here (I’m in year 13 now!).
Whew!! With these out in the world, I feel like I can finally move into 2021 now, ha! As I struggled an unusual amount with my goals this year, talking with dear goal-setting friends and reading others’ thoughtful posts was so helpful and encouraging to me. If you are a goal setter, I can’t recommend surrounding yourself with a likeminded community enough, especially one that shares regular updates! A few of my favorites and their 2021 goals: Lisa, Rhi, Lara, Nancy, Val, Shay, Jen, and Janssen. (Have another goal setter whose blog you love to follow? I’d love to hear about her!)
I’ll be back with my January goals post tomorrow, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear what you have planned for 2021. Have you set goals yet? I’d truly love to hear, so please drop a note in the comments! I can’t wait to cheer you on.
P.S. Still working on my vision board for the year – stay tuned!
