I’m a guest on the Cultivate podcast episode that dropped yesterday. It was a good conversation, about helping kids to cultivate what matters, but what I wanted to draw out here was the tip I offered at the top of the episode, about kids’ shoes. Kids’ shoes can be a giant headache. Our family, however, has figured out some easy ways to calm the crazy, and I thought we could talk about them today – perhaps just in time to make a few changes before the beginning of the school year! :)
First and most importantly, our kids have very few pairs of shoes compared to what I perceive to be normal in other families. In fact, they pretty much have just two pairs of shoes each:
— One pair of Natives — One pair of sneakers
Let’s talk about this a bit more.
One pair of Native Jeffersons. While I thought Natives looked like something aliens would wear when I first saw them, I acclimated quickly, because there’s a lot to like about them. They’re sturdy, they can be worn in the water, they count as close-toed for school and other scenarios that require it. They can be worn to run and jump but also are just sleek enough to be worn for most middling formal occasions. They can be brightened up with a quick scrub with a Magic Eraser.
Living in North Carolina, our kids wear Natives almost year-round (though obviously, not in the height of winter). They wear them to church. They wear them to school. They wear them to play outside.
When they outgrow a pair, we order the next size up. Shep (5) almost exclusively gets the “Regatta” color. For June (7), I’ll choose 5-6 colors that appeal to me and that I think she’ll also like, and then let her make the final decision. (Because these are worn almost daily with all sorts of outfits, I don’t feel one bit bad about not letting her choose particularly loud or garish patterns.) Annie (2) has worn hand-me-downs so far :)
One pair of sneakers. Sneakers are worn for active play, gym day, in the winter, and pretty much whenever else they want. Because we don’t keep a pair of fashion sneakers as well as athletic sneakers, I try to choose a pair that appeals to me aesthetically while also fulfilling its athletic purpose – and I don’t mind spending more on these since we only have one pair at a time. With the ages of our kids, we’ve opted for velcro over laces so far.
Speaking of cute – do I think kids shoes are adorable? Yes.
Do I sometimes wish my kids had sliiiightly fancier shoes to wear with a dressier outfit? Yes.
But those are pretty much the only negatives I can think of, and they’re dwarfed by the benefits of streamlining our shoe life:
There are fewer shoes to research, purchase, keep track of, maintain, and store. (This all takes time!!)
Having fewer choices simplifies our mornings and every other time we need to get out the door.
There are very few power struggles over what shoes to wear when.
Everyone can put on their own shoes.
We spend less money.
Let’s talk about other shoes, though, since they do have a few additional pairs:
Rain boots | Since Natives can be worn in the water and our climate is warmer, I generally do not purchase rain boots. My sister generously passes pairs down, so we often have pairs the kids can wear if needed.
Snow boots | Same. We have some from my sister, but this is definitely not an item I would make sure my kids have a pair of at the beginning of each winter.
Fancy shoes | We buy these on an as-needed basis – they are not something we keep in stock for each kid at each size. If there’s an event (wedding, Christmas Eve, performance, dance, etc.) that requires it, then we buy in the size they need. Occasionally we get fancy hand-me-downs, too :)
Salt Water sandals | I used to buy each child a pair of these at the beginning of summer, but have gotten away from it because they just didn’t wear them enough to justify the price. I absolutely ADORE the look and we do still have several pairs that fit various people, but these are no longer an automatic buy.
All of these “extra” shoes are stored in June’s closet upstairs, ready to pull out as needed. This keeps them out of the flow of daily life, but accessible as needed.
So where are the rest of the shoes stored? Why, in the shoe basket, of course!
All of the kids’ current shoes are stored in a wire basket by our front door.
They’re right where we need them and it’s a super-easy storage system for the kids to follow (although somehow it still takes reminders to get them to follow it…). Socks for all three kids are stored in our bedroom, which is on the first floor and just around the corner from the front door. (Even if your bedroom is not on the first floor, I’d highly encourage you to find somewhere to store socks on the first floor. I can’t imagine having to send a kid upstairs every time they needed to put on socks!)
In closing, I’ll say that as much as I love this system and it’s working well for us now, I know it won’t work forever. Kids will grow, their shoes will get bigger, their needs might change, they might have more opinions about their footwear. This is the continual puzzle of family life – to be aware of when a system is no longer working, and to be willing to release it and find something new.
I would love to hear if there’s something you keep unusually simple in your family, or a storage hack you’d like to share with the group. I have another one coming up in my next post that several friends have adopted – I think it’s a good one :)
How do gifts work in your families of origin these days? For several years, on both sides, we’ve moved to picking names for siblings. A few years ago, we incorporated John’s parents into the picks on the Thomas side. This year, for my family, we’re forgoing sibling gifts and instead getting together and going out for a nice dinner. (We’ll still gift individually to my parents.) I don’t know if we’ll do it every year, but it’s a fun experiment!
Even though I’m giving (and receiving!) fewer gifts this year, I still thought it would be fun to share a few things on my personal wish list while Black Friday Cyber Monday sales are still in full swing. As in the kids’ guide, I’ve listed a few tried-and-true favorites below, as well.
On my wish list:
— A new set of mixing bowls | The glass set of 7 bowls we took with us when we moved to North Carolina is down to three. This pretty set would be even better for all the little bakers joining me in the kitchen these days. — A wool coat in a punchy color | I wear my down parka daily in the winter, but it would be lovely to have a dressier option to mix in. I have looked at these beauties for YEARS without pulling the trigger. — A tennis dress | John and I have rearranged appointments on Fridays to play together a few times, and I foresee more matches in our future now that June is taking lessons. The green is gorgeous! — A soft, chunky sweater | Again in the green. This one is a splurge, but I seem to have reached the season of my life where I’d rather buy one sweater every few years and make it an especially good one. — A dough bowl candle | Love these candles poured on the coast of NC – would look so pretty in the center of our table. — Sweetest library bag | We visit biweekly at least, and our arms are always overflowing :)
And here are a few things I own and love that I think are worthy of adding to your wish list:
Clothing and accessories:
— Maylis shoes | I own and adore the Ella heels (in cream, at top) and the Catherine loafers (in Maylis blue, above). Both pairs are comfortable, beautiful, well-made, and required almost no breaking in. Still in awe one of my bestest friends has seen a dream come to life in this company! — Julie Vos Penelope Demi Studs | I wear these 95% of days. Classic pearl studs with the loveliest gold-rim upgrade. — Clementine shorts | Made for athletic pursuits but they look cute enough to wear out and about with a tee! I love the green color I own and wish they’d restock it. — Kule tee | My favorite striped tee (below). I have the Classic in cream and navy, but it reads black and white to me. — Hunter Play Rain Boots | I used to own tall Hunter boots and almost never wore them, because they were uncomfortable and hard to take on and off. I received the shorter version for Christmas last year and ADORE them! Perfect for rainy walks and school pick-ups. — Ugg Classic Mini II Bootie | I was dubious about adding these to my wish list two years ago, but I am fully converted. Priceless for staying warm in the winter, especially with walking June to school and hanging with friends and neighbors outdoors. — Summersalt swim suit | I have the Sidestroke and the Oasis and I LOVE them both. I would order up at least one size, as I think they run small. Very fun one-pieces and they’re always getting compliments from other mamas at the pool! — Lake Pajamas | It’s been approximately four years since I’ve worn any other pajamas. I wear the long-longs year-round and they feel so cool and silky. — Bow sun hat | This hat is going on year seven or eight and it still looks good as new! Packable, adorable, keeps my face protected. — Shearling slippers | At hours-of-wear, this item of clothing would probably clock in at the top of my wardrobe – they’re my go-to from when I walk in the door to hopping into bed. — Tree Skippers | These shoes are incredibly comfortable and cute to wear with everything – dresses, shorts, jeans (see below!). Just make sure to wear no-show socks with them, as they are a bit prone to holes.
Other:
— Half Baked Harvest Super Simple | One of the only cookbooks I actually cook out of. Lots of dogeared pages in this one! — Skin Twin Featherweight Foundation | I wear this daily and love that it evens out my skin without covering anything up. Clean ingredients, too. — Original Bogg Bag | Just me, or did these start showing up everywhere last year? I see them at the pool, the beach, and soccer game days (and we use ours in all of those places), but I think they’re particularly helpful for road trip packing. We were gifted ours by a friend and I’m so grateful! — Block stamp zipper toiletry bags | I picked up the large size while in Connecticut this year. The patterns and colors and great and I think the price is good, too! — Striped snap tote | I bought six of these for teacher gifts one year when they were marked down to $15, and am SO glad I snagged one for myself, too! They fold up flat and snap open to fit a ton, and I use mine at least weekly! — Round serving tray | I have the blue design, but all three are absolutely gorgeous. They’re a good size and perfect for corralling things on a dresser or coffee table! — Boat & Tote bags | Incredibly sturdy and incredibly classic. I like mine open top, in navy, with sans serif embroidery. — PowerSheets | My beloved goal planner and monthly calendar rolled into one. Can’t do life without them.
For the men in your life, don’t forget this post on some of John’s favorites – lots of good ideas in there!
Our tenth anniversary trip to Bermuda is this month and we are beyond excited. The last time John and I traveled without kids for more than a day was when we went to Anna Maria for Shep’s babymoon in 2018. In the months leading up to this trip (we booked it in 2021!), it has felt a bit surreal and even overwhelming to think about celebrating ten years of marriage in such a beautiful place with my best friend. For several days! Now that it’s almost here, grateful doesn’t even begin to cover it.
So yes, we are celebrating big, and in ways that are outside our usual scope. John and I were joking the other day that our price-sensitivity meter has been turned wayyyy down when it comes to this trip – we are purposefully splurging in ways we don’t usually, even though doing so sometimes feels uncomfortable for these two savers. That goes for the trip itself, but it also goes for what we’re packing in our suitcases! We’ve both splurged on a few special items with this trip in mind, and I thought it might be fun to share a few of them (plus a few long-time closet staples I’ll be packing, too!).
BEACH DINNER DRESS | We are having a private dinner on the beach one night (if that is not the peak of fancy I don’t know what is) and I wanted to get a special dress for the occasion. This hot pink linen dress is more than I usually spend, but it is stunning in person and fits like a glove. I love it so much.
DAYTIME AND DINNER DRESSES | Dresses are one of my favorite things to wear, but sometimes they don’t feel as easy to throw on when you’re toting small children and doing all the gymnastics they require: bending, stretching, squatting, sitting on the floor, etc. I’m trotting out all my closet favorites for this trip: a cornflower blue floral Rah Rah dress from Pink City Prints, my white sleeveless royal shirt dress (on me here), my Nap dress, and a beloved UPF tunic dress (the material is so unexpectedly silky!).
FANCY COVER UP | I literally pulled over to the curb when I saw my favorite local boutique had a rack of block print dresses on the sidewalk for 50% off. Turns out they were by Oliphant, a new-to-me brand, and I was thrilled to snag one as a cover-up at a great price. It looks similar to this one but golly they have SO many cute patterns and styles!! Dangerous!
SWIMSUITS | Between the beach, the pool, and water-based excursions, I hope every day will involve a swimsuit! My favorite Summersalt will be at the top of the pile – I recommend ordering a size up (and holy moly it’s 50% off right now!).
SUN HAT | I seriously considered buying a Sarah Bray hat (we are going to Bermuda, after all!), since my beloved bow hat is showing its age, but I haven’t pulled the trigger. They’re sold in several shops on the island, however, so perhaps it will be a souvenir :)
TENNIS WEAR | John and I love to play tennis together (yes, even after his injury!), but we haven’t had too many chances for the last few years. Our hotel has courts and we’re looking forward to playing! I’m packing the Vuori tennis skirt he gave me as a Mother’s Day gift and my dusty green Clementine shorts. (I wish they still had them stocked in my color – at first I wasn’t sure it would be that versatile, but I wear them ALL THE TIME.)
TOILETRY BAG | The lining of my previous toiletry bag looked like swiss cheese after several years of wear, so I picked up this Amanda Lindroth bag at a local boutique when we were in Connecticut this summer. It’s also on sale at a great price right now!
Again, it feels surreal that we won’t be packing three tiny sets of clothes alongside ours, but I’m trying to embrace a lighter suitcase on this rare occasion :)
You may recall last August, as I began to emerge from the newborn phase, I wrote about feeling ready to spice up my daily dressing: “After a year of just getting by in the fashion department – wearing what felt like the same four ill-fitting outfits on repeat – I’m eager for some variety and fun,” I wrote. “Even in between pregnancies, I’m guilty of switching out my top and wearing the same jeans, shoes, jewelry, and hairstyle five days a week. There’s nothing wrong with this … but at the moment, I’m feeling inspired to put a little more thought into what I wear each day.“
In that post, I shared inspiration from my dear friend Lisa’s outfit diary series – I adore her style and lean on her for all my burning fashion questions (and rightly so!). In the post, I semi-jokingly asked whether she should come over for a styling session. Well, reader, she jumped right on that suggestion and before I returned to work from maternity leave, graciously came over and pawed through my closet with me! It was a delight, shockingly helpful, and really jumpstarted my return to having fun with fashion.
Ever since, I have been far more likely to put together interesting combos from my closet and put into play the four takeaways from my inspiration pull. Just for fun, I snapped photos of a few recent outfits to share, if you’d like to see. I’ll sprinkle a few more takeaways from my time with Lisa throughout, too!
The morning Lisa was due at my house, I pulled all the clothes from my closet and draped them over the sofa and chairs in our family room. I loosely grouped them into bottoms and tops, and set aside the items that I thought might need to be retired. Friends, almost everything that went into the “possible retirement” pile was, indeed, retired. Ha!
That right there was probably the most productive part of this whole exercise. It was so helpful to have a trusted friend who I could hold up a shirt and raise an eyebrow at and have her kindly agree that, yes, that had been so cute a few years ago, but it was not exactly current anymore. And if it was outdated AND it didn’t fit quite right, I didn’t love wearing it, or it wasn’t in line with the aesthetic I was moving toward? On it went to a new home.
Older clothes were not unilaterally destined for the donate pile, though! This pink tunic from Boden, for example, has been in my closet for probably 8 years. It’s one of my very favorite tops – I wore it for many Southern Weddings photos – but it was feeling a little tired and I wasn’t reaching for it as often. Lisa suggested doing a full tuck with it, and that simple move really brought it back to life.
On this day, I paired it with the Cali Demi-Boot version (Lockwood wash) of my beloved Madewell jeans, which I took a huge gamble on and bought half off on final sale last year. I felt confident to place the order since I love Madewell jeans, knew my size, and had seen this exact pair on my chic friend in person, but still, it was a relief when they arrived and looked cute. On my feet I’m wearing tan suede pointy toe d’Orsay flats.
When Lisa came over, we talked a lot about how I wanted my outfits to feel like Outfits instead of just jeans + tees, day after day. She immediately understood what I meant, and her advice (based on her own fashion journey of the past several years) was to buy a few items that felt really special. Yes, they would likely be more expensive. Yes, they might be more “trendy.” But if I didn’t want to feel like I was wearing the exact same thing every day, then I… needed to not wear the same thing every day. Ha!
You could say I took her advice to heart: Lisa arrived at our session wearing the shirt I’m wearing above and I promptly fell in love and bought the exact same one. It was a splurge, but the floral detailing is so beautiful and I really love wearing it. Also great for nursing! (It doesn’t look like the blue version is in stock right now, but they have it in white, and this top is lovely, too!)
If you’re unfamiliar with & Other Stories, here’s a pro tip Lisa taught me: when you click to the “all clothing” tab, you can filter by “atelier:” Los Angeles, Stockholm, or Paris. I like the Paris atelier, which has a more feminine, romantic style, best.
Here I wore it with my favorite 10″ rise Roadtripper jeans (seriously, nothing feels better than these jeans – they are so stretchy but hold me in in all the right places) and rounded toe navy Rothy flats. A note on the Rothys: my Mom passed them along to me (I think they were too small for her and she missed the return window), and though I wear them often, they always feel a bit pinched in the toe. I’m not sure if it’s just the style or if I should really wear another half size up? They’re very comfortable otherwise!
This dress was a fun purchase this spring! For the price, I was very impressed with the quality and the fit specifically – it nips in at the waist, the top doesn’t gap, etc. Also nursing-friendly! I’m pairing it with my jean jacket and the ankle booties that I’ve worn since 2015.
One thing to note: these outfits are mostly just for the people I love and for me, showing up as my best self in the world and having fun. I’ve been guilty of saving dresses and special outfits for special occasions, but it’s true: every day of this life is a special occasion. So, even though I mostly sat on my sofa and tapped away at my computer in this lovely dress, I felt great while doing it. You don’t need a reason to wear fun clothes that make you feel good (whatever that means for you!)!
This is not the greatest picture (hello, laundry!), but I had to include it because I just adore this shirt. The material is so light and gauzy and really takes it to another level. I actually own this shirt in two colors and two sizes – the white in a size XS and the dusty mauve in a size S. I like both of them and will wear both with a half or full tuck. Wearing with my favorite jeans here as well as my family bracelet stack – one each with the initials of John and each of my littles.
At one of the final photo shoots for SW, I dripped floral glue on a black-and-white striped shirt that was a mainstay in my closet. Until my session with Lisa, I couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it… but I also never wore it anymore because of the yellow blob on the front. Once Lisa gently pried it out of my hands, a classic striped tee was at the top of my replacement shopping list. After hearing good things, I ordered the Kule Classic tee in cream and navy stripes (size S). It was not inexpensive, but I’m at the point in my life where I’m willing to trade my money for my time and to pay for good quality (and sustainable practices!).
(If you are considering a Kule tee, I think this particular style runs a bit small. I’m happy with the fit, but it is a little slimmer than I was expecting. Also, it’s listed as navy stripes, but they read black to me.)
Here, I paired it with a pair of Clementine shorts. The color isn’t one I normally gravitate toward, but John actually purchased these for me and I’ve found it to be surprisingly versatile. My sneakers are gold and white New Balance from J.Crew, many years old.
This is not my most inspired outfit (nor the best photo), but I wanted to include it because of the pants! They’re a new purchase this spring and I really love them. The fabric feels like ponte, which means they are stretchy and comfy but also more formal in appearance due to the thickness and texture. I would recommend sizing down in these. I’m wearing them with a cream knit sweater, also from Old Navy many years ago, that I would never have considered tucking in until Lisa suggested it.
On my feet, I have leopard-print Birdies. I don’t find the slide style the easiest to walk in (I’m an energetic walker!), but love having a leopard print back in my shoe repertoire. These were a gift so I felt I could be a little riskier in the style!
Finally, here’s the same Kule tee with a full tuck. Paired with my favorite jeans and my go-to Allbirds, this outfit just feels classic and I love it. I heartily endorse this style of Allbirds (SO comfortable and versatile, plus made from sustainable eucalyptus fiber!) but would also heartily recommend wearing no-show socks, because I’ve found that the toes can wear out if you do not.
One thing I loved learning in my survey data is that many of you not only tolerate, but appreciate that EFM is a bit like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re going to get :) I hope this post has been just another example of that. If it’s not your cup of tea, no worries – we’ll be on to another topic shortly. If you did enjoy it, though, it would be helpful to know!
I’m also curious: have you ever done something like this? Had a friend, or even a professional, sort through your closet with you? I highly recommend it! (And thank you again, Lisa!)
