What a heavy time, friends. As freedom-loving people – as people, period – John and I have been watching what’s unfolding in Ukraine with horror. We’ve been buoyed by the glimmers of unity and energy in response, but knowing what’s happening halfway around the world has added a hard, sad edge to my days. I’m sure you’ve felt it, too.
Given all that’s happening, it can feel wrong and strange to chip away at my goals or write about them here… but the freedom to do what matters is a freedom that democracy provides. Along with praying and donating, I can celebrate what we have here, and part of what they are fighting for over there, in a small way.
A win that must be celebrated this month: we think we have found a church home, per my first and most important 2022 goal. I am 2/2 for crying on Sunday mornings so far, which we can ascribe to taking communion after two years, worshiping with other believers, and/or the state of the world right now, but mostly, just… feeling like we’re home. It has been a long, tender road to get here and I am so grateful. Thank you, Lord.
On my calendar this month: — The Survivor Season 42 premier! Falling on Wednesdays as it does, this show is such a bright spot in the middle of our weeks. — My very favorite kids consignment sale, returning after a two-year hiatus. — Some St. Patrick’s Day after-school snack fun, like this or this.
What I’m loving right now: — This post is from last year, but since I think God used Val to speak to me about returning to church, it seemed appropriate here. If you’re a believer and are struggling with this decision from any dimension, I think you might appreciate her comprehensive and gracious thoughts on this topic. — Why are non-tee, non-fussy short sleeve shirts so hard to find?! I recently snagged this one and it is GREAT – breezy, easy to wear, pretty. You can see it on me here! — Reader Meghan recommended this episode of Laura Tremaine’s podcast on “time anxiety” on a recent post and I enjoyed it, too. It’s in a similar vein to an EFM reader favorite, but she takes the topic in a few different directions.
As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in February: — The Evening and the Morning: This is the prequel to the Ken Follett Kingsbridge trio I’ve read over the last few years, and it did not disappoint. Set in 997 (!), it is as rich, layered, and enjoyable as the books that come after it – and sets them up so beautifully, it makes you want to roll right into re-reading them.
Revisiting my February goals: Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos + print our favorite Instagram photos from 2021 (Went to do this last minute and it seems something is wrong with their software to pull photos from IG?!) Morning time with New Morning Mercies on Mondays and Fridays (Eh. I did this a few days but was reminded why I almost always prefer to go all or nothing on habits – it’s harder for me to make something a habit when I’m trying to remember to do it just a few days a week!) Lay out 2012 in family album (Yes!!! This has been a goal since last spring!) Lay out 2013 in family album (Got the photos loaded!) Complete the second month of our fam Peloton challenge Make and/or approve a kitchen design board Finish the Best of EFM page (More progress, but not done yet.) Make plans for June’s summer (Almost done!) Memorize a first selection of scripture with the kids (Done! June and I memorized four verses from 1 John.)
March goals: — Cull and sort the first six months of 2021 photos — Lay out 2013 in family album — Lay out 2014 in family album and send it to print! — Finish the Best of EFM page — Complete the third month of our fam Peloton challenge — Do PT exercises daily — Visit two community groups — Follow the Matthew reading plan — Memorize another piece of scripture with June — Buy a small freezer for our garage (!)
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2022 goals! Affiliate links are used in this post.
It’s my birthday! And what a gift you all are to me. As an introvert who prefers a small, close-knit group of friends to a large party any day, it might seem strange that I enjoy sharing with the wide world of the internet. A small, close-knit group is exactly what Em for Marvelous feels like, though, and I’m so grateful! I sincerely treasure each one of you who stops by, reads, and joins the conversation.
I’ve been struggling lately with what, exactly, I’d like to post on my public Instagram account. I have a clear “why” for my IG consumption, but I’m a bit stuck on what value I can provide there. This is a deeper question and one I’d love to dive into more, but I think my ambivalence stems in part from the delight and satisfaction I find in posting here. This is where I feel like I can provide value. This is where I feel I can give you my best. This is where I feel I can get to know you and you, me.
Friends, I know it can be harder to go to an individual platform versus scrolling through all your favorites in one feed. I am so grateful you make the extra effort. And every time I post, I strive to make it worth your while :)
To help me do that, I love to check in with you all every few years in a more formal way. So, if you have a moment, please consider taking my short survey. I’m so curious, and would love to hear from you!
Then – and this is very exciting – leave a comment below to be entered to win a pair of Maylis shoes – either the ballet flat or mule (!!!!!!). Some of you may know that my smart, beautiful, and very dear friend Lisa is launching her shoe line this spring. It’s been an honor to be in on the dream in the role of cheerleader since very early days, and I’ll take any chance to support her. She does not know I’m doing this and I will be buying the winning shoes with my own money (ha). I’ll work with you to choose your style and color once the beauts are available later this spring! I love you, Lisa!!!
Update: Cara is our winner and has been emailed! :)
Finally, to make the commenting more interesting (and so I can get to know YOU a little better!), here are four questions I’d love for you to answer after you’ve taken the survey, if you’re so inclined:
A baby name you absolutely adore: A beautiful sight you’ve seen recently: A current favorite podcast: Preferred road trip snack:
I will answer in the comments, too. Thank you in advance, friends! xo!
I’m not telling you anything new when I say that making time for friends – let alone making new ones – takes effort as an adult. Without some of the built-in opportunities for togetherness we enjoy when we’re younger, plus all of the time-consuming responsibilities of being an adult, making and keeping plans with the people I care about can feel like a part-time job.
And that’s just the logistics! If you’re an introvert like me, there can be a whole other level of fatigue from the vulnerability of putting yourself out there over and over again. Despite this, I’m always a bit shocked when I look around and realize (with much gratitude!) that I actually do have thriving friendships in my life. And one thing has been a game changer: systematizing them. Incredibly unromantic, incredibly helpful :)
Basically, I realized that my most consistent friendships – in many cases, the ones that feel the closest – have an automatic cadence. We’ve figured out the best and easiest way to spend time together and now we replicate it over and over. Here’s what that looks like for me, and how you might try this in your life if it sounds like something you need…
1. Name the friendships that matter most in this season. Get out a piece of paper and literally write down all of the friendships in your life right now – close by and far away, old and new, couple friends and college friends and church friends and mom friends and work friends and neighborhood friends and parents-of-your-kid’s-friends friends. Mark the ones you’d most like to nurture in this season of life.
2. For each priority relationship, brainstorm the best way to enjoy each other’s company. In some cases, this might simply be naming something that’s already in place. If not, maybe you can build off a rhythm that already exists, or replicate something you’ve enjoyed in the past. (An important point: the goal is not necessarily to have more social engagements, though that may end up happening. The goal is to make it easier to see the people who matter most.)
Another small aside: do you ever struggle with feeling like you’re the one who always extends the invitation? Does that feel unfair? Even though it is factually not true in my case (and probably not in yours!), the perception can leave me feeling vulnerable and resentful.
In recent years, though, I’ve successfully turned this feeling on its head. I GET to choose the activities that sound fun to me and work with my season of life! I GET to be the one to delight my friends! Instead of waiting for other people to ask, I can extend the invite with joy in my own time.
3. Implement the routine and make it sticky. No need to call up each friend and have a formal conversation, but if you’re suggesting a new rhythm, it might be helpful to broach the subject directly (“what do you think about meeting up for a walk on Thursday mornings?”). Once you’ve agreed to a rhythm (with the understanding that you can always adjust as life requires!), find a way to automate the planning. Usually, this looks like choosing a standing date (the first Friday of the month, every Monday morning) or putting the next date on the calendar before you part ways.
Of course, it goes without saying that even if you have a way you usually spend time with someone, that doesn’t mean you can’t ever do anything different. Of course you can! This is just an easy way to remove the burden of feeling like you need to reinvent the wheel every time you want to hang with a friend.
My friendships in adulthood have evolved alongside my life stage. They looked one way when we were engaged and newly married, another when we had just one baby, and now another when we have multiple school-age kids. Here are a few of the current friendship rhythms that are giving me life:
— Articles Club, of course! We meet on a certain day each month, and our gathering for discussion and dinner is a delightful way to spend time with ten wonderful friends. Several years in, we all know to keep “our” Tuesday evening clear on the calendar.
— Many of you may remember that I worked with Kristin and Lisa for several years at Southern Weddings. Lisa and I literally sat next to each other five days a week, so we didn’t really need an excuse to spend time together outside of work. When SW retired, though, we went several years only seeing each other sporadically. Then, a few months into the pandemic, we cautiously met up on Lisa’s porch for Prosecco and snacks after kiddo bedtime one evening. We set a date to meet up the next month before we left, and I don’t think we’ve missed a month in the last year and a half.
— Our annual camping trip with the Rays is a guaranteed weekend of late-night fireside chats and kiddo bonding.
— Making Fridays even sweeter: we do preschool pick-up at the same time as two other dear families, walk to a nearby bakery together for after-dinner treats, and let the kids run around while the grown-ups swap work-week updates and weekend plans for an hour.
— New babies have us a little out of our routine, but a neighborhood friend and I were in a great rhythm of early-morning walks every other week or so.
— Pandemic notwithstanding, I stumbled into a pattern of hosting a larger party once a year for my best gals (like the garden party or book swap party). This is a great catchall opportunity to be with those friends I might not see on a regular basis and a fun chance to flex my party-planning-loving heart! Fingers crossed I can make the potluck party I’ve been dreaming up for two years happen this spring…
There are more examples I could give, and more rhythms I have ideas for but have yet to implement, but I hope this gives you something to consider as you think through your own friendships! Like many of the best ideas, this is a very simple concept – but one that has paid dividends in my life in recent years.
If you have a friendship rhythm that’s working for you, I’d love to hear about it!
Contrary to appearances, I’m not the most creative mom – rather, I’m a thorough researcher, and eager to put my own twist on what I find. And Valentine’s Day, for whatever reason, brings out my peak “borrowed creativity.” With kids, I find it to be just the sweetest holiday, and working on projects together for our people has become a beloved tradition over the last few years. I know homemade classroom valentines are not for everyone, but I thought it would be fun to round up some of the designs we’ve given over the last few years, in case you’re looking to borrow a little creativity of your own! For a future year :)
Every year, I ask the kids what they’d like the theme of their valentines to be, and then I riff on that. When June was 2, it was rainbows, so I printed these little cards and she swooshed on the lines with watercolor.
Cats at age 3! I used hot pink washi tape to attach little cat toys to cards I made, then outlined the edges in pink with Super Tips.
Dogs got their day at age 4. Honestly, these ones were a beast… way too much cutting and glueing of individual pieces, ha!
We did bunnies last year, at age 5, but for some reason I don’t have a photo of them. This year, the theme was rocks! We finally found a use for her overflowing gem collection :) She chose a combination for each member of her class and then we pressed them into salt dough hearts. I wrote on the front of the tags; she wrote the to and from on the back. We tied each bag with this gorgeous yarn.
This year, at age 3, Shep got his first custom valentines! He asked for a Thomas the Tank Engine theme, so I ordered Thomas minis and designed simple cards, which he spruced up with watercolor.
Happy Valentine’s Day, friends! I hope you have a great day celebrating with the ones you love.
