Transferring to your collegeAlways installing the car seatsServing as your human alarm clockFolding tiny pairs of underwear just soReading an essay he wants to share with you as you both lie in bed and not minding when you fall asleep halfway throughGoing to small group, pressing into friendshipDriving the old car The middle-of-the-night parent, the patient parent, the fun parent Hearing “my wife” across the room, a thrill stillResearching the candidatesFalling asleep with the light onandGrumbling about how you stay up too late to read Making every hard decision less scaryNever ever giving you a reason to doubtAlways reaching for you, always beside you An unending conversation with my best friendWho we were and who we areThe most fun we’ve ever hadSo simple, so grand. In honor of our 12th anniversary, inspired by Jen

We came home from last year’s 10th wedding anniversary trip to Mexico determined to get away at least once a year from now on, even if briefly. Though this year’s trip isn’t as spectacular as last year’s (11 doesn’t have quite the heft as 10 :)), I’d love to share a few photos and details from our weekend in Charleston, if you’d like to see! The logistics of our anniversary weekend Though I was pulling for a three-night stay, John’s preference for two nights – for cost considerations – won out. We woke the kids up at their normal time on Friday morning to say goodbye, and then left them in my parents’ capable hands to make the four-hour drive to Charleston. We stayed two nights and left around 10:30am on Sunday to head home. Where we stayed in Charleston We booked our hotel late last year. After much research, John chose The Charleston Place: we wanted to be centrally located, and it’s smack-dab in the middle of the downtown action. We considered a number of “trendier” hotels, including the Dewberry, the Vendue, and Zero George, but were surprised by how much more expensive they were than Charleston Place – which itself was already expensive! Charleston Place was absolutely wonderful, and we would definitely stay there again if we had the chance. What we did on our weekend in Charleston On Friday, we pulled into Mount Pleasant, a suburb of Charleston, just in time for a later lunch. Since we have both been to Charleston a few times before, we thought it would be fun to explore a new-to-us area on this trip. We ate lunch at the Post House Inn, which is just adorable perfection with a Southern-meets-California vibe – I felt like we were on the set of

On our tenth-anniversary marriage summit, one of the questions we spent time plucking at was: what are our keys to a happy marriage? That might seem like a strange thing to discuss, but when we name what matters, we solidify it – which is the beginning of getting more of it. It was a deeply satisfying conversation, and something I knew I wanted to share in part here. Of course, sharing feels a little squishy, and I don’t necessarily write to encourage you toward the things that bring us happiness – we are two unique people with unique wiring and a unique history, and what speaks to our deepest needs and desires might not move the needle for you. There are a million ways to have a good marriage. I share in the hopes that it might inspire you to name the keys to your own marriage happiness – to spark a conversation across your dinner table or on your next date night. And also, selfishly, I’m sharing for my children. I hope they look back one day and think, mom and dad really loved each other, and they enjoyed each other. I hope this post helps them understand why that was so. Without further ado… It’s been too long since we looked at some wedding photos, no? I narrowed myself to black and white ceremony photos for today :) All by the inimitable Tanja Lippert! 1. We share a faith that compels us to help each other become more holy. This is the only place to start (and as you can see, the title of this post is a bit of a misnomer). While we desire happiness in our marriage, at our best, we aim for holiness. Happiness, we are believing, will be a byproduct of this pursuit. From

There is one detail about our family life that tells you pretty much everything you need to know about John as a father and, really, as a person, and here it is: when our kids cry out in the middle of the night, they call for Daddy. Photo by Graham, from Annie’s newborn session I know this is unusual, because every time it comes up in conversation the other person is staggered. Moms are simply the default middle-of-the-night parent, it seems. And this makes sense, to a certain extent: if you’re breastfeeding, you are the one that’s needed in the middle of the night. And then, as with many other patterns, it simply… continues. That’s not what happened in our family. It turns out I am a very deep sleeper, and so when June was born, I would sometimes sleep through her baby cries (even though she was in the same room as us). John, though, would hear her. He would go to her in her bassinet, change her diaper by the dim light of the cracked bathroom door, re-swaddle her, and then deliver her to me to nurse. Every night, often multiple times a night, without fail. Maybe it’s that imprint of him coming to each tiny baby’s aid from their earliest days, or maybe it’s the relentless gentleness, attention, and care he’s paid them every day since. For whatever reason, when it’s dark and our children are scared, or cry themselves awake from coughing, or vomit into their favorite stuffies and blankets, or bolt upright in bed, suddenly desperate for a sip of water, Daddy is the one they call for. They know he will always come, and they know he will always take care of them. He’ll turn on the nightlight, he’ll bring them water, he’ll change