I’ve shared before some of my Dad’s parenting one-liner gems. His oft-repeated phrases formed the background of my character development, and I am so grateful for that! Paul David Tripp writes that “parenting is about the willingness to live a life of long-term, intentional repetition,” and my Dad was more than willing. As I became a parent, I fully expected to pick up the mantel of his favorite phrases and impart his wisdom to a new generation – and I have. What I didn’t expect was that these phrases would still be growing and changing me, years and years after I first heard them, years after you’d expect I might have wrung every drop of goodness from them. One in particular I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. My Dad would often admonish us, “if you’re going to give, give graciously.” In childhood, this meant that it wasn’t enough to simply shove a coloring book across the table at my sister if I begrudgingly agreed to relinquish it; no, I was supposed to politely (graciously) place it in her hands, ideally with a smile. Our parents were not often satisfied with the bare minimum, and they definitely weren’t satisfied until our hearts were in the right place. These days, I am the parent, and as the parent, many requests are made of me by a certain little girl. Another pancake? One more book? Can we go outside to draw with chalk? Can we go upstairs? Can you play with me? Can you draw with me? Can you carry me??? Sometimes there’s a clear yes or no to these kinds of requests, and that’s that. But often, it’s up to me. A year or so ago, I found myself often frustrated, saying yes but only begrudgingly. Feeling over a barrel, I’d

Sometimes I zoom to the 30,000-foot level of parenting. From there, I can both look back, to my own memories of childhood, and forward, to what I imagine June might remember from her childhood. It’s a helpful perspective. One thing I think about is how June might picture me when she thinks back in many years, which reliably leads to me thinking of my own parents. Though I have thousands upon thousands of memories of both my Mom and my Dad, when I think of them in my childhood in moments separate from me, this is what comes to mind first. Not me or my parents – an adorable photo of John with his Dad :) Of my Mom: In the driver’s seat of our minivan, waiting. Usually reading a magazine — Redbook or Ladies Home Journal, later Real Simple. In front of the middle school, waiting to pick me up after a practice or activity. In the parking lot at ballet, waiting for lessons to be over for the day. Waiting – always with a smile on her face when I appeared at the passenger side door. In the study upstairs, at our desktop computer, playing solitaire and watching General Hospital. This is almost always where I found her when I came home from school, where we did our afternoon debrief. At the stove. Not so much because she was a passionate chef, but because feeding us was one of her most important daily rhythms. That work led to sitting around the dinner table together, which ranked near the top on the pile of sacred family traditions. Of my Dad: In his recliner in the family room, legs stretched out on the footrest, left arm stretched down to stroke the side of our black lab out on the floor

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time, you’ve probably picked up on the fact that I think my parents were and are really good at parenting. I haven’t figured out all of their secrets (yet), but one key seems to be consistency. My Dad, in particular, had a number of phrases that were on repeat throughout my first 18 years — if I’ve heard them once, truly, I’ve heard them a thousand times. They have shaped the kind of person I am, and will undoubtedly be issuing from my lips a thousand times in the next 18 years as John and I do our best to raise our children. I wanted to share a few of them with you today, in honor of Father’s Day. Kate and Kim, repeat along with me… Meredith Perdue If you’re going to give, give graciously. Let’s start with a particularly hard one to learn :) This meant that it wasn’t enough to simply shove a coloring book across the table at my sister if I begrudgingly agreed to relinquish it; no, I was supposed to politely place it in her hands, ideally with a smile. No bare minimum shortcuts at the Ayer household, much to our dismay while growing up. My Dad taught (and still teaches) me so much about going the extra mile AND doing it with your heart in the right place. You might not have meant to, but you didn’t try hard enough not to. Again with the heart focus. This phrase would be employed when I’d, perhaps, knock my sister over as I ran past her, then whine, “but I didn’t meeeeeean to” when told to apologize. Again, we weren’t allowed to take the easy out. Life isn’t fair and You can’t always get what you

Two years ago I wrote a post sharing seven things I love about my Mom. I intended to write a companion post for my Dad that same year, and then the next year, but for some reason it never happened. As you’ll see, it’s not for lack of reasons. So in 2015, here are eight things I love about my Dad (in no particular order): 1. He is full of wisdom. This fact has always impressed me, apparently, because when I was in elementary school I designed and printed him a poster entitled “Everything I Need to Know About Life I Learned From My Dad” (sorry, Mom). You can click here to see a photo of this gem :) I could fill an entire blog post with his nuggets of wisdom that were imprinted upon me after being repeated over and over and over throughout my childhood, but one of my favorites is, “If you’re going to give, give graciously.” He knows that what you do is not always as important as how you do it. 2. He always takes the scenic route. Literally. He thinks the world is a beautiful place and doesn’t mind taking the longer way to see more of it. He’ll also take any excuse for a road trip, especially if a daughter is at the other end. He and I drove from Maine to Chicago once to help my older sister move, and driving through those picturesque New England towns with him is one of our fondest memories together. 3. He is a diplomat. He studied international law and diplomacy for his PhD, and instead of taking his skills around the world, he deployed them in our home and community. He is the one you want leading a meeting as well as refereeing at the