I am 36 today. Those of you who have been around for awhile may recall why this is a significant birthday for me: for many years, I’ve considered 36 my spirit age, or the age that I consistently feel on the inside, regardless of the number of years I’ve clocked around the sun. Some people feel perpetually 25. I have a friend who swears she’s meant to be 72. But for me, whether I was logging a late-night shift at the library at 21, shopping for a wedding dress at 25, or struggling to learn the ropes of breastfeeding at 28, somehow I felt I was always on my way to this moment: that my life experiences, my gifts, my heart would most perfectly be used in this way – as a wife, a mom to three little ones, a daughter, a sister. A friend who tries to make sunshine for the ones she loves. A writer. A meal train queen. A school-trip chaperone. Settled in her career. Snug in a church she loves. 36 is more beautiful than I could ever have hoped for, and I am truly more grateful than I ever would have thought possible. Life feels more precious every year. In some ways, it also feels more complex. For example, I come up short when I compare the neatness of my journey thus far to those of others’ whom I love. I am no more special than anyone else, did no more right or less wrong than anyone else. It is blessing, but undeserved. It is luck, undeserved. I write this with a lump in my throat for those of you reading who have reached a certain age and find yourself not where you thought you’d be. There are a million cruel (and a few delightful)

More than anything else, for John’s thirtieth birthday, I wanted to remind him of how loved and cherished he is, and how much his thirty years on earth have meant to the people around him. I don’t think men necessarily hear how wonderful they are as often as the ladies in their lives, even if it’s equally true, and so for this special occasion I wanted to make sure he got the message loud and clear. John’s birthday is in mid-July, so in late May, I sent out an email to close friends and family asking them to send me back the following by mid-June, written in the format of a letter to John: One thing I really admire about you: A favorite memory we share and why it stands out in my mind: Something to look forward to in your 30s: I included both of our parents and all of our siblings, of course, as well other family members and friends from childhood, high school, college, and North Carolina. I also asked for input from our nieces and nephews via their parents, and “assisted” June and our cats with writing their own letters, too :) My letter concluded the book. Most people responded right away, and the ones that didn’t came through after a quick follow-up email, so it really wasn’t difficult to assemble the messages. Photos weren’t too hard, either, since I had done a bunch of scanning and organizing of old photos for our wedding slideshow. What took the most time was laying the book out, but even that was done in a few nights’ time (while shielding my browser from John, of course!). I chose an 8×8 book with a hard, matte photo cover and layflat pages from Shutterfly. With 13 additional pages and a 50%