Our tenth anniversary trip to Bermuda is this month and we are beyond excited. The last time John and I traveled without kids for more than a day was when we went to Anna Maria for Shep’s babymoon in 2018. In the months leading up to this trip (we booked it in 2021!), it has felt a bit surreal and even overwhelming to think about celebrating ten years of marriage in such a beautiful place with my best friend. For several days! Now that it’s almost here, grateful doesn’t even begin to cover it.
So yes, we are celebrating big, and in ways that are outside our usual scope. John and I were joking the other day that our price-sensitivity meter has been turned wayyyy down when it comes to this trip – we are purposefully splurging in ways we don’t usually, even though doing so sometimes feels uncomfortable for these two savers. That goes for the trip itself, but it also goes for what we’re packing in our suitcases! We’ve both splurged on a few special items with this trip in mind, and I thought it might be fun to share a few of them (plus a few long-time closet staples I’ll be packing, too!).
BEACH DINNER DRESS | We are having a private dinner on the beach one night (if that is not the peak of fancy I don’t know what is) and I wanted to get a special dress for the occasion. This hot pink linen dress is more than I usually spend, but it is stunning in person and fits like a glove. I love it so much.
DAYTIME AND DINNER DRESSES | Dresses are one of my favorite things to wear, but sometimes they don’t feel as easy to throw on when you’re toting small children and doing all the gymnastics they require: bending, stretching, squatting, sitting on the floor, etc. I’m trotting out all my closet favorites for this trip: a cornflower blue floral Rah Rah dress from Pink City Prints, my white sleeveless royal shirt dress (on me here), my Nap dress, and a beloved UPF tunic dress (the material is so unexpectedly silky!).
FANCY COVER UP | I literally pulled over to the curb when I saw my favorite local boutique had a rack of block print dresses on the sidewalk for 50% off. Turns out they were by Oliphant, a new-to-me brand, and I was thrilled to snag one as a cover-up at a great price. It looks similar to this one but golly they have SO many cute patterns and styles!! Dangerous!
SWIMSUITS | Between the beach, the pool, and water-based excursions, I hope every day will involve a swimsuit! My favorite Summersalt will be at the top of the pile – I recommend ordering a size up (and holy moly it’s 50% off right now!).
SUN HAT | I seriously considered buying a Sarah Bray hat (we are going to Bermuda, after all!), since my beloved bow hat is showing its age, but I haven’t pulled the trigger. They’re sold in several shops on the island, however, so perhaps it will be a souvenir :)
TENNIS WEAR | John and I love to play tennis together (yes, even after his injury!), but we haven’t had too many chances for the last few years. Our hotel has courts and we’re looking forward to playing! I’m packing the Vuori tennis skirt he gave me as a Mother’s Day gift and my dusty green Clementine shorts. (I wish they still had them stocked in my color – at first I wasn’t sure it would be that versatile, but I wear them ALL THE TIME.)
TOILETRY BAG | The lining of my previous toiletry bag looked like swiss cheese after several years of wear, so I picked up this Amanda Lindroth bag at a local boutique when we were in Connecticut this summer. It’s also on sale at a great price right now!
Again, it feels surreal that we won’t be packing three tiny sets of clothes alongside ours, but I’m trying to embrace a lighter suitcase on this rare occasion :)
Now that Labor Day has come and gone, I wanted to share a bit about how we handled our first summer as two working parents to an elementary-school student. As a consummate planner, I looked ahead to this summer and thought about it for actual years in advance, knowing it would require thoughtfulness and careful planning to execute what I thought was best, in the way I wanted to live it out. Today, you get to see a bit of the fruit of that :)
In the hopes that our experience might help someone else, I’ll start with a little background information and a few thoughts that helped guide my planning, share a bit about what this first summer looked like, and then end with some thoughts on how it all turned out. I hope it’s helpful. For all the content that is pumped out daily online, this is not the type of thing that gets talked about very often, but as a parent, it’s the type of thing that matters very much to me. Here we go!
A little background info
In bullet-point form!
In previous years, June attended daycare and preschools that were essentially year-round, so we did not have to come up with a special care plan for the summer months. Our younger two kids still largely kept to their “school-year” routines this summer.
Where we live, we have the option of attending a traditional calendar or a year-round public elementary school. We opted for the traditional calendar. Call me stubborn or nostalgic (or both), but long summers at home were formative for me, and it’s important to me to offer the same to my kids, even if it means more effort on our part.
When we began to plan for this summer, we considered three things: what was possible given other constraints (time, money, etc.), what mattered to me and John, and what mattered to June. The third was the least important factor, though I think it will become more and more salient as she gets older. (More on this below!)
Everything cannot matter, so articulating what mattered most to us was hugely helpful and helped us make decisions. Your priorities will almost certainly be different than ours or your neighbors’. That is okay.
What mattered to us: Relaxed time to be a kid. Time outside. Time to be bored and use her imagination. Low/no tech programming. Time to read. Time to play with neighborhood friends. A chance to engage her faith. Space for John and I to do our work with minimal interruption. Minimal travel time to and from activities.
What did not matter to us: Anything overly-academic. Wow-factor activities or adventures. The simplest logistics. The cheapest cost.
Since we’d never experienced a summer break like this before and June is young and early in her elementary school career, I erred on the side of more “programming.”
John and I have a good amount of flexibility in our jobs. We both work from home most of the time. John has some ability to set his own schedule. I work part-time (this summer, from 9-3, Monday-Friday). We have worked toward our current situation over many years, in part with elementary-school summers in mind.
Start making plans early, if possible. I booked her first camp in November of last year.
The week-by-week schedule
Here’s how our rising first grader spent her summer break:
Week One: Farm camp. Outside all day with lots of chances for water play, stomping in the creek, getting dirty, crafts, visiting animals, etc. The hours allowed me to shift my time slightly to accommodate pick up and drop off.
Week Two: The original plan for this week was to have one of our babysitters come in the morning to hang with June and then leave her to her own devices in the afternoon. However, it turns out my parents came to visit, so she and my Mom had fun (mostly reading, playing pretend, and running errands I never get around to, ha!).
Week Three: Our town’s parks and rec tennis camp. It was a half day program, so John or I picked her up on our “lunch break” and she hung out at home (mostly in her room, reading or playing) in the afternoon.
Week Five: A beloved high school babysitter came from 9am-1pm. They went to the pool, they played pretend, they played with American Girl dolls, they got Crumbl cookies and went to Chick-fil-a for lunch on Friday… one-on-one attention for four hours a day with one of her favorite people in the world?! You bet this was one of June’s favorite weeks.
Week Six: VBS. The church was in downtown Raleigh and the camp was only from 9-12, so to cut out some travel time I “coworked” with Lisa, who lives about 5 minutes away from the church. For these two former coworkers, it was a sweet excuse to get in a few hours tapping away again side-by-side!
Week Seven: Back to farm camp.
Week Eight: Maine!
Week Nine: Connecticut! John and I worked remotely this week from his parents’ home while the kids hung with their grandparents. They swam multiple times a day, ran around the yard, rode bikes, went to the aquarium, read, and played a lot of Wii Sports, ha.
Week Ten: A local music and art camp. The hours easily fit within my work schedule. This was also one of her favorite weeks, and I think it was mostly because a good friend from school attended with her.
Week Eleven: This was a free week. It was the last week before school started, and I kind of ran out of planning steam, ha. It ended up being sweet and hopefully a prelude to what future summers might look more like: she spent hours playing outside with neighborhood friends and reading, and then on Friday (after I had switched to my new schedule), she and I spent the day together as a last hurrah before the first day of school.
Throughout the summer, she took swim lessons about once a week at our neighborhood pool.
A few reflections on this first summer
The bullet points seem to be working, so we’re just going to go with them :)
The logistics were a lot, but not overwhelming. I’m good at logistics! They don’t bother me! (See: prioritize what matters most to you. Logistical simplicity might matter most to some, but that wasn’t high on the list for me.)
I was wowed by June’s ability to walk into new experiences and environments week after week, usually not knowing anyone, and to make new friends – all without hesitation. This is so far from what I would have been capable of at her age.
At the end of summer, June said summer felt short. This was a bit disappointing to me, because part of my desire was to facilitate a summer that felt long – leisurely and somewhat boring. But I wonder if adults only say childhood summers felt long in reflection? I also know that the segmentation of her summer probably contributed to this, and we will likely be able to back off the programming and incorporate more boredom as she gets older :)
I think she will have more opinions about how she wants to spend her time next year, which makes me both excited and a bit nervous, ha! I’m looking forward to crafting a plan with her now that she’s experienced different options, but it also was pleasingly simple to make the decisions solo.
This was one summer. It was a good one, and it provided some learning opportunities. Everything is on the table in future years when we have more elementary-school kids and/or our work schedules are different!
And there you have it! As always, I could write many more paragraphs, but I’ll leave it there for now :) In closing, though, I wanted to add this: I know summers can be challenging for working parents: the logistics can be stressful, the clash between what you want and what’s possible can be frustrating or emotional. Maybe you feel pressure to facilitate a certain kind of summer for your child. Maybe this is the time of year when you really wish your work situation were different. However you’re reading this, I hope you’re able to be gentle with yourself and to find the good in your summer circumstances – I’m positive it’s there. You’re doing a great job.
P.S. This is one of those posts where I am truly not sure if it’s helpful at all. If nothing else, it will be a fun record for me to look back on, but if this was helpful, I’d love to hear it! Grateful for you all!
I’m one month into my new work rhythm, we’re back from two weeks in New England, June is back to school, Annie is walking, and fall is around the corner. And this month? This month, John and I celebrate our tenth wedding anniversary. I am grateful and in awe, and included a nod to this milestone on my PowerSheets: “If we take care of the moments, the years will take care of themselves.” Taking care feels effortless some days and a tall order others, but every day, I feel sure we’ve found a treasure in each other. We will be celebrating big this month, and I can’t wait!
On my calendar this month: — The first day of fall! We’ll bake apple cider scones for our family and June’s teachers, a tradition we started six years ago. — My very favorite kids consignment sale! — Our tenth wedding anniversary and trip to Bermuda!!!
What I’m loving right now: — When in Maine, Kate introduced us to the card game Dutch Blitz, and I. could not. get. enough. It’s addicting in a similar way to solitaire (maybe I’ll win if I play just one more time!), but is played in a group. SO FUN. (You can buy an expansion pack to play with more than four, too!) — Martha Stewart was the topic of our most recent Articles Club, and this podcast episode was in the bonus material. As a very longtime Martha fan, I felt seen (and even learned some new info!). A very enjoyable hour! — This clock was included in our kitchen refresh design plan. I ordered and hung it back in May (for $8 less than it’s now listed for, sob) and it’s kept my hope for this project alive through many months of no progress. Aside from being a beacon of hope, It’s so nice to be able to see the time from almost anywhere in our downstairs without needing to have my phone on me.
As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in August: — I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet | Hoo boy. I know I have many Shauna Niequist fans reading (I count myself among them!), but… this was not my favorite of her titles. The subtitle – “discovering new ways of living when the old ways stop working” – is important here: I realized pretty quickly that her “old” ways and my “current” ways are very similar. She speaks very compassionately about her old ways (not in a disparaging way!), and there are extremely valid, difficult reasons why she needed to find new ways – but I don’t have those reasons, and so this book just wasn’t what I needed for this season. And that’s okay!
Revisiting my August goals: Enjoy our time in Maine and Connecticut Edit June in June Volume 7 (I finally picked a song!! Progress to come!) Plan and enjoy our back-to-school dinner Make kitchen decisions and order things (Met with handyman and Callie! Tile, cabinet hardware, hood vent, lights have been ordered!) Make powder room decisions and order things (Light has been ordered but I can’t really say this is complete…) Complete June’s baby book Adjust to my four-day work week rhythm
September goals: — All hands on deck for the kitchen project! This is the big month when work will start and (hopefully!) be finished!! — Order mirror and hand towel for powder room — Edit June in June Volume 7 — Film Sheptember, Volume 4 — Complete June’s baby book — Prepare well for and enjoy our anniversary trip — Clear the backlog on my “Friday list.” In the weeks before my schedule shifted at work, I began to put tasks on a “Friday list” – things I’d get to when I was no longer working on Fridays. There are currently 32 items on it (some big, some very tiny) and I’d love to clear at least half of them out this month!
I’d love to hear: what are you celebrating these days? Big or little – all good things welcome :)
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2022 goals!
Miss Susanna is officially one, which means my baby gear days are officially done. Before they retreat too far into the past, I thought it might be helpful to offer a final round-up: of what we loved, what stood the test of time (and three kids), and what loved so much we repurchased. Of course, I stand by the claim I made even before my first pregnancy: babies don’t need much gear to be happy and healthy. Yes, there are some things that are incredibly helpful, but perhaps fewer than you might think. With that being said, here are a few that made the cut for us – some I’d consider true necessities, and others, fun extras.
Quick note for those who might be new: we have three kids, and the span from the oldest to youngest is 5.5 years.
Sleeping
Crib | After we retired the crib that June used (the same one I used as a baby!), we replaced it with this Jenny Lind style. I think it looks sweet for a boy or a girl, the price can’t be beat, and it still looks brand new after two babies.
Travel crib + bassinet attachment | Easy to set up and fold back into a backpack, compact, looks good… this pack and play has it all. One of my very favorite pieces of gear that we used for all three kids! They all slept in the bassinet in our room to start, then used it on overnight trips for the next few years.
Swaddle Me swaddles + Magic Merlin suit + sleep sack | There are tons of swaddle options out there (and aggressive opinions about all of them), but if you’re looking for somewhere to start your research, we used the Swaddle Me for all three babies and loved them! We did have to buy a new one each month because the velcro wore out, but they’re priced reasonably enough and work well enough that we were willing to do it. Just pull the end under tight tight tight :)
For the younger two, we used the ridiculous-looking Magic Merlin suit to ease the transition to sleeping arms-out once they could roll. We only needed it for about one month each, but it was incredibly helpful for that brief period! Your baby might hate it, though, so this is a great item to borrow from a friend, if you can, before buying!
Only our youngest has really used a sleep sack, but she seems to love this quilted version. I do not think it matters what kind you get – this one was a gift, I think!
Sound machine | Nothing fancy, but we love this one. Definitely get one with raised buttons or you’ll be feeling around in the dark trying to turn it on. This one is great for on-the-go.
Sweet crib sheets, blankets, and muslins | Each of our babies had 1-2 patterned crib sheets, a special blanket for naps at school, and a muslin for a lovey that was also used as a nursing cover, burp cloth, car seat cover… all the things. We have and love pieces from Little Unicorn and Clementine Kids.
On the Go
Stroller + stroller fan + parent console | Strollers, maybe the most out of all baby gear, are extremely personal; what you choose should depend on your lifestyle and how you plan to use it. That being said, we love ours! It’s lasted through all three kids and at this point, the wear-and-tear is showing: the brake has snapped off, the elastic is sagging, and there is significant fading. But we’re still loyal :)
Car seat + base | The Chicco is a classic for a reason. Nothing fancy here, but it gets the job done. We got an adapter for our stroller so we could attach it when they were very young, and that was great! We did have to repurchase this for Annie, since it was out of date by the time she arrived. Shows how much we loved it, because we purchased the exact same thing :)
Ergo | From her fifth day of life to about a year old, June rode in our Ergo 360 several times a week, if not every day… and her siblings followed suit. It was our baby-wearing apparatus of choice by far – easy to use, we could throw it in the wash, comfortable for both John and I to wear, and pleasing to all three babies.
Eating
Ikea high chair | To me, this high chair is the apex of form, function, and price. It is sleek, not overwhelming in a space, super easy to clean, and $30 (was $20 when we bought it!). Winner on all fronts. There are lots of cute stores on Etsy (like this one) that sell cushion covers and tray place mats and foot bars if you want to jazz it up a little, too.
Silicone bibs | So easy to keep clean, which is basically all I want in a bib.
Kiinde system | Like strollers and swaddles, there are strong opinions about bottles. The only thing we tried was the Kiinde bag system, and all three babies accepted it, so take that for what you will! While I wish it was more eco-friendly, the convenience of the bags moving straight from pumping to the freezer to the warmer to feeding was a delight.
Glider | I was on the fence about getting a glider, but I’m SO glad we did. (I went the semi-homemade route: bought a $25 glider on Craigslist, bought fabric, and took it to the upholsterer. My favorite thing about it is its petite scale, which makes it easy to get in and out of with a sleeping baby!)
Burt’s Bees cotton burp cloths | I don’t know whyyyyyy these are so expensive, but they really are superlative. We probably have 20 – all white – and there were absolutely days in the first few months when we’d go through all 20 before bedtime. So soft, so easy to fold neatly because of the seams, not too big, not too small… I wish I didn’t have to recommend them so strongly, but I do.
Back soon with part two and the final three categories! In the meantime, I would love to hear any of your favorites in these categories, or a popular item you did without! :)
