We’re in Lent, the season in the Christian calendar that leads to Easter. It’s often a time when Christians will either fast from something or add a spiritual discipline to their days, with the intent of orienting their minds and hearts more toward Jesus. Lent seems as good a time as any to debut this series, though I anticipate it will stretch for years into the future, as our kids grow and the way we seek to form our family and its faith grows alongside them.
An admission up front: there will likely be no groundbreaking ideas here. You might find these posts almost at the level of duh simplicity. But if you’re anything like me, you need the regular and very simple reminder that family discipleship does not always have to be complicated. More than perhaps any other area of my life, I have the instinct here to build the big machine, to devise the elaborate practice – and still, more often than not, to worry that I’m not doing enough.
This is not all bad: I believe there is a direct relationship between how much creating a fertile environment for our children to know and trust Jesus matters to me (and John) and how much thought we put into how we are doing that. But I hope through this occasional series I can encourage you (if it’s something that matters to you) AND MYSELF that little by little adds up.
So without further ado, here are the first three (very simple) family faith formation practices that we’ve been practicing with our 7-year-old, 4-year-old, and 1-year-old.
We go to church.
Aside from a too-long hiatus during the pandemic, going to church every Sunday has been a priority for our family. This essay does a much better job than I could at outlining the power of this simple habit, but as a parent, I especially appreciated how he shared that his family’s commitment to attending church every Sunday growing up communicated major truths to him that embedded deeply: God is the center of life. God is worthy of praise and worship. The Christian life requires sacrifice and discipline. As in so many areas of life, actions (especially consistent actions) speak louder than words.
“If you feel inadequate to lead your kids spiritually,” he writes, “just go to church. If strategizing about your Christian parenting feels overly complicated, just go to church.” When I tell you I feel seen…
Of course, it’s not quite this simple. Faithfully going to church, week after week, means opening yourself to the influence of others. It specifically means releasing your children into spaces where they’ll be taught by others in a situation beyond your control. (And man, as parents we like control, don’t we?) It means entering into community and being known. It requires trust. I know this can feel scary, and it is certainly worth your time to search for and vet a potential church home. But I also personally feel convicted that for us, we could not let fear or apathy keep us from one of the most central parts of the Christian faith – gathering and worshiping regularly with other believers. And, speaking from the other side of having found a church home that fits and is trustworthy, it is more than worth the effort of the search and moving past the fear.
We listen to our kids’ worship playlist.
Credit for this one goes to Nancy! I started our playlist by cribbing songs from hers, but have slowly made it our own over the last few years. It includes worship songs meant for both kids and grown-ups. And while I choose the songs with my kids in mind, the rule is that every song must be one the grown-ups also enjoy listening to – no annoying songs here :) It includes mostly-upbeat and sing-along-able favorites from Ellie Holcomb, Slugs and Bugs, Rend Collective, Lifetree Kids, Mission House, Lauren Daigle, Maverick City, We the Kingdom, and more.
This is our default playlist in the car, but I particularly like to play it on our way to and from school – I think it’s a beautiful way to fill their hearts before they head to the classroom, as well as welcome them back home into our family in the afternoon. I knew my plan was succeeding when June climbed in the car after school one day early on and said, “Mama, I had Leaning on the Everlasting Arms stuck in my head all day!” Ha! I also see these songs as building a vocabulary that helps them speak about their faith. (Many of the lyrics are actually scripture verses.)
One fun tip your kids might enjoy like ours did: when you make the playlist, name it after your family – ours is called Thomas Kids Worship.
We encourage ourselves.
John and I both take our jobs of shaping our kids hearts seriously, and so we’re serious about learning ways to do that better and seeking out resources that will encourage and equip us as we do. This looks different for each of us. I like to listen to podcasts like Risen Motherhood, the Family Discipleship Podcast, and Raising Boys and Girls. I also like to read – both books that are explicitly about shepherding kids, or simply ones that encourage and equip me in my own faith (which of course overflows to my kids).
Sometimes I’ll learn something tactical to apply, other times I take away a more philosophical idea that makes me think, and sometimes I’m simply receiving plain old encouragement to stick with it for the long haul. As an example, a very simple encouragement that has stuck with me from the Family Discipleship Podcast is this: when it comes to faith, our kids don’t have to understand everything all at once. In fact, much of the early work of faith formation is simply giving them a vocabulary to speak about and ask questions about faith. I knew that, of course (duh!), but when the hosts shared it, it was like a bucket of relief was poured over my head.
So there you have it! Three (relatively) simple faith formation practices our family has found helpful. I hope there’s something you can take away, whether fostering your kids’ faith also matters to you or if there’s something else you hope to grow in your kids (or the kids you love). If you’d like to share, I’d love to hear a practice that has been helpful in your family, or something that has stuck with you from your own upbringing!
The daffodils are blooming in our backyard and the weather has been delightful these past few weeks. There are a few in water on our kitchen table right now – a gift. And another: your birthday well wishes. They were so thoughtful and kind, and one of the best parts of my day. Thank you, thank you. Onward to 36! :)
On my calendar this month: — My favorite kids consignment sale! I’ll be volunteering on Friday morning, so come say hi if you see me :) — The Survivor 44 premier! The Ted Lasso season 3 premier! Lots of good TV to look forward to this month. — Easter basket shopping with all three kids. I’ll go on individual mini shopping trips to Target with each kiddo to choose items for baskets we donate through a local program. One of my favorite traditions! There’s more in this highlight.
What I’m loving right now: — These Souper Cubes sat in my house for over a year before I tried them (long story), but wow am I glad I did! They definitely qualify as something you don’t think you need, but that end up making life just a smidge better. It is SO much easier to freeze and thaw manageable portions of soups without dealing with the mess of ladling liquid into a plastic bag or squeezing it out of one. (We’ve also successfully frozen and thawed mac and cheese and rice dishes.) — I enjoyed this piece from AHP on archiving the teen self. Lots to chew and reminisce on! — Brooke Ligertwood’s new live album, Seven, has been on repeat over here. Perfect background music while prepping dinner :)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in February: — Deep Work | Though the author’s writing was a little supercilious, I took several practical ideas away from this book – most notably, grand gestures and timed internet breaks during the day. He also expounds on the virtues of time blocking, which you know I love! — The Maid | Though some of you pushed back on my calling this book “delightful” in this year’s reading list, I’m going to gently push back again, because I really do think delightful fits, ha! Or at least, I was delighted by it. Yes, it’s a thriller, but it’s not scary or stressful – just a really good story with a memorable narrator, endearing characters, and a heartwarming resolution. I loved it.
Starting out strong with my reading list for 2023! Here it is, if you’d like to follow along.
Revisiting my February goals: Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos (I made progress!!! This goal has been on my list for months (IYKYK), so completing January through June feels like a huge win – even if it shouldn’t, ha!) Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2022 Tackle our upstairs hall closet (Yes! See the transformation here. Do you like seeing the process on a Reel? Even if I don’t share it, it’s always motivating to film a time-lapse! :)) Sell or clear out the remaining items from our kitchen refresh (Done! Gifted them all on our neighborhood Buy Nothing group.) Share some thoughts here around my birthday (Yes! This post took a bit of a turn from what I had expected, but I’m happy with it.)
March goals: — Cull and sort second half of 2021 photos — Paint our master bathroom cabinets (I’m thinking green!) — Tackle the coat closet — Meet with a lawyer to update our estate planning documents — Make a style guide for the EFM book (basically, a sample page to decide on layout, fonts, text treatment, etc. and get familiar with the Blurb software) — Capture photos of our kitchen and bedroom to share updates – finally!! My sweet friend (and reader!) Anna is coming by to take photos and I am so grateful.
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
Those of you who have been around for awhile may recall why this is a significant birthday for me: for many years, I’ve considered 36 my spirit age, or the age that I consistently feel on the inside, regardless of the number of years I’ve clocked around the sun.
Some people feel perpetually 25. I have a friend who swears she’s meant to be 72. But for me, whether I was logging a late-night shift at the library at 21, shopping for a wedding dress at 25, or struggling to learn the ropes of breastfeeding at 28, somehow I felt I was always on my way to this moment: that my life experiences, my gifts, my heart would most perfectly be used in this way – as a wife, a mom to three little ones, a daughter, a sister. A friend who tries to make sunshine for the ones she loves. A writer. A meal train queen. A school-trip chaperone. Settled in her career. Snug in a church she loves. 36 is more beautiful than I could ever have hoped for, and I am truly more grateful than I ever would have thought possible. Life feels more precious every year.
In some ways, it also feels more complex. For example, I come up short when I compare the neatness of my journey thus far to those of others’ whom I love. I am no more special than anyone else, did no more right or less wrong than anyone else. It is blessing, but undeserved. It is luck, undeserved. I write this with a lump in my throat for those of you reading who have reached a certain age and find yourself not where you thought you’d be. There are a million cruel (and a few delightful) ways for plans to be derailed in this life. I’m sure many are still lying in wait for me.
And I’m looking ahead now – for most of my life, I’ve looked ahead. But now, when I look up, there’s no threshold on the horizon. I seem to have arrived.
All that preparation? It was for this. The sacrifice, particularly financial? It was for this. Those wedding magazines I read before I was engaged, the parenting books I read before I had kids? They led me here. I have often felt like an old soul, often find myself the youngest person in a room. How will things shift as I move away from this apex (of sorts)? Where to next?
Onward —
of course. Don’t worry: I am too optimistic to sit in this space for long. I was clear-eyed about this season of life, and I think I can be clear-eyed about the seasons (so many!) to come. Just because I looked to 36 didn’t mean I thought it would be perfect or without difficulty, and it’s not and it isn’t. Cars need to get towed, children want snacks, I have a bad attitude, people I love get sick, the kitchen counter needs to be wiped again. Lord willing, I have a long and beautiful life ahead of me, and perfection and ease are not the goal.
But awareness is. Gratitude. Presence. Feeling at peace while the fleeting, heartbreaking beauty of this season grates against its grit.
Thank you, Lord, for 36 years. May they have reflected your love and light.
I mined my camera roll for these collages and included pretty much every photo of me from the last year – or at least a representative snap from each event. It’s sweet to see them all together.
If you are a Millennial parent of a certain age, there’s likely one milestone you’ve eagerly anticipated: reading Harry Potter with your children.
Of course, as an avid reader, there are MANY books I’ve eagerly anticipated sharing with my children, but Harry Potter is in a class of its own. It’s just so rich of a world; so dense with virtues like loyalty, courage, and love; so intertwined with memories from my own childhood; so close to my heart, that the idea of introducing my own children to Hogwarts has always felt tender and thrilling.
Recently, June and I completed the first book in this best-selling series of all time, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and I couldn’t wait to discuss…
How did we know this was the right age to read Harry Potter?
Like many of you, I grew up reading the Harry Potter books – and alongside Harry, himself. The first book was published in the US in 1998, when I was 11. I believe I read it about a year later, because I read the first and second books back-to-back. From there, I eagerly read each as they arrived to bookstores around the world, even attending a midnight launch for the final volume.
As a parent with all seven books on the shelf in front of me, the question of how I might guide my children through the series was a weighted one, and foreign to my adolescent self (because I was at the mercy of the publishing schedule). This is probably unsurprising, but I thought about it extensively – years before I was pregnant :)
For some reason, I had it in my mind that age 8 was the right age to introduce our kids to the wizarding world. June had no opinion – she had heard the words “Harry Potter” but had almost no conception of what they meant. John, however, thought she was ready, noting that she had already read The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe with us and on her own. Knowing that we’d plan to read just one book a year (more on that below), I agreed to dive in, and we gave her the illustrated copy of the first book for her 7th birthday.
Why did we choose the illustrated Harry Potter over the original version?
I’ll admit I was somewhat biased against the illustrated versions, for no good reason beyond that it wasn’t the version I grew up with – ha! But I will gladly admit the error of my ways, because the illustrated versions are GORGEOUS. They’re larger than the traditional books, and so somewhat unwieldy to read, but the read-aloud experience makes up for it.
The illustrated versions are unabridged, just with the addition of illustrations throughout. Especially for a younger reader, the illustrations – sometimes just a single icon on the page, other times a full riot of color stretching across the almost two-foot span of the open book – add even more delight to the reading experience. I’m very glad we went with the illustrated version.
What did our seven-year-old think about Harry Potter?
From the first chapter, she was all in.
And this muggle let out a sigh of happiness :) I don’t know if it was my and John’s evident excitement or simply the magic of J.K. Rowling’s world working its way into her heart, but she loved the story practically from the first page. I read one chapter a night, and both of us were eager to climb into bed each evening.
June is a strong reader and regularly reads chapter books on her own, but the Sorcerer’s Stone was definitely a notch in difficulty above what she is used to – for a few reasons. First, Rowling drops you into a new world, and there is a LOT to learn (and not a lot of it is explicitly explained). As re-readers, it’s easy to forget how foreign the wizarding world is, but not only did June need to follow the plot, she had to learn the rules of how things worked in a new place and keep track of lots of funny-sounding names.
Rowling’s writing is also richer and more complex than her usual fare. Occasionally, she’d ask me to read a little slower, and I learned to pause a beat when I imagined she might need a moment to synthesize what we’d just read.
Something else that I think helped with her comprehension: she retold every chapter in great detail to John the next morning. He does most of the morning routine, and she’d fill him in on exactly what had happened the night before over breakfast :)
What is our plan for reading the rest of the books?
The plan is to gift her the next book on her birthday each year, and read them aloud together – yes, even when she’s 13 and we’re reading the final book in the series. (Sob.) This will create what I hope will be a magical, memorable reading experience folded into the fabric of her childhood, and will allow her to mature alongside the book’s themes as they become darker and more complex.
She of course wanted to read the second book right away, but acquiesced when we told her the plan. We also reminded her she could read the first book as many times as she wanted between now and then – and then she promptly read the entire thing again, on her own, in under 36 hours (!). I imagine it will not be the last time before her 8th birthday.
What is our plan for reading Harry Potter with our other children?
The plan is the same, allowing that one or both of them might not be ready to read the first book at age 7 – in which case, we’d use our judgment to make sure they have a great start to the series. Yes, this means at some point I’ll be reading three volumes of Harry Potter each year, but you won’t hear me complaining :)
What about the Harry Potter movies?
We plan to watch each movie after we complete the book! We already watched the first movie, which June loved. It was delightfully sweet and childish – just as it should be for the first book. Just John and I watched with June after the others had gone to bed, not on a family movie night.
What was the most magical part of reading Harry Potter with our children?
For a lover of books, introducing a favorite to a fellow reader is always magical and often freighted, but even more so when the fellow reader is your child. It was a joy to see June fall in love with the characters I love, and a joy to re-read (again) J.K. Rowling’s absorbing, delightful writing.
Re-reading the earlier books in the series never fails to impress me – there are so many tiny details and seemingly offhand comments that become major plot points later in the series. But what struck me most in this reading – I teared up – was Dumbledore’s description of the powerful force of Lily’s love for Harry:
“Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn’t realize that love as powerful as your mother’s for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign… to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. It is in your very skin. Quirrell, full of hatred, greed, and ambition, sharing his soul with Voldemort, could not touch you for this reason. It was agony to touch a person marked by something so good.”
Also, at the beginning, June was constantly calling things the wrong names, and it was the absolute cutest: particular favorites were Huffypuff, Ravenhopper, and Albatross Dumbledore :)
Friends, I hope this gave you a few practical thoughts on when to read Harry Potter with your own children, or simply provided a welcome walk down memory lane from your own childhood! :) And if you have read Harry Potter with your family, I’d love to hear how it went.
