Being the nosy curious Enneagram 5 that I am, I loved this post from Everyday Reading about what she’s actually getting her four girls for Christmas. While gift guides are so helpful, seeing what others actually choose for their own kiddos from the sea of options helps me to narrow down my own list — and is just fun! In that spirit, I thought you might like to see what June and Shep will find under the tree this year.
We don’t officially subscribe to the want / need / wear / read philosophy of gift giving (though I do keep it in mind), and some years we give more gifts than others. At my children’s current ages, I’m also not at all concerned about matching amounts spent or number of gifts given. They already both have more than enough, but these are a few things we think will delight them this year!
Sorry not sorry this is the actual cutest photo you’ve ever seen — Anagram, you are my hero!!!
June (who is almost 4) will be receiving: — A rock polisher. She LOVES collecting “crystals” everywhere she goes (she sounds like a bank vault because of the rocks constantly jangling in her pockets) and I predict she will be obsessed with shining up her finds. — A book about rocks, gems, and minerals that we picked up from our Museum of Life & Science. — A set of 10 My Little Ponies, similar to this. This was a total spur-of-the-moment purchase at Costco (of all places), but I think she will love it. My all-time favorite activity from the ages of approximately 3 to 8 was making “pony houses” for (you guessed it) My Little Ponies, so there is a good deal of nostalgia at play. Shout out to my BFF, pony-house-making accomplice and across-the-street neighbor, Emily – I know you’re reading! :) — Light-up sneakers, because they are the number one item on her wish list. Found a pair that is not too garish :)
I also have my hopes that a loved one will get her a doctor’s kit, and if I see no one has purchased it a few days before the 25th I may snap it up – or might wait for her birthday :)
Shep (who is about 1 and a 1/2) will be receiving… — A dinosaur backpack and dinosaur lunchbox for his big upgrade to preschool! — The most adorable apple sweater. Since I buy 90% of my kids’ clothes secondhand, I don’t mind splurging every so often, and I thought this top was so cute! Heirloom-worthy :) I’d been eyeing this for months and snagged it on Black Friday. — A photo memory game with all of his grandparents, cousins, and aunts and uncles. We made one for June around this age and she loved looking at the cards even before she could play the game! — The Christmas version of his favorite book, because he is OBSESSED.
As well as stockings, of course! Below, tell me what you’re getting your kiddos this year — I love seeing people’s actual lists!
John and I are celebrating five years of marriage this week! (Our anniversary is on Friday!) I have some deeper thoughts coming your way soon, but today, I have a question for you: if you’re married, do your wedding photos look timeless?
I ask because I kind of keep waiting for mine to look dated, but at least to my eyes (and I do admit my eyes could be biased), they don’t. Maybe in another five years?
Maybe. Maybe not. After all, we made a lot of traditional choices: I wore a blusher veil. John wore a black tuxedo. I carried a white bouquet. My makeup was minimal. We were married in a chapel. Our centerpieces were in collected silver. We swayed on a black and white dance floor under a sailcloth tent, to the tunes of a big band.
Of course, there were other details that were more unexpected: we served donuts and cookies as our dessert. In lieu of favors, we made a donation to a pet adoption agency, and shared the news via watercolor portraits of our cats.
Each of those decisions, whether traditional or unique, was carefully considered, and chosen because it felt fitting for our story and relationship. Rooting our wedding in classic style was a way we honored the enduring legacy of marriage in our families. (Similarly, I love how our gold wedding bands link us to some of the treasured people in our lives with beautiful marriages — our parents, our grandparents — many of whom wear gold bands.)
I’m pretty familiar with weddings these days, and from my viewpoint, we are certainly in a “classic moment” (having shifted out of the rustic, shabby chic “moment” that immediately preceded it!). Blame it on the Duchess or Father of the Bride (a millenial childhood staple!), but I hear people talking about wanting to have a classic, timeless wedding a LOT. No one wants to look back on their wedding photos and cringe. While I certainly don’t think it’s a bad thing to have a “classic” wedding (obviously!), I think choosing something simply because it’s classic, not because it’s meaningful to you, is a missed opportunity.
After all, when your kids look at your wedding photos in twenty years and laugh at your choices (because they will certainly find something to laugh at!), don’t you want to be able to tell them why you made those choices? Why they were meaningful to you, why you loved them at the time? And don’t you want a better reason than “because it was trendy”? (Even if, ironically, the trend is classic style?)
Wedding photos looking dated isn’t a bad thing — it just means you’re lucky enough to have celebrated several years of marriage! :)
Alright, getting off my soap box. Friends, I would LOVE to hear: If you’re married, do your photos look “timeless”? Is that something you were striving for when making decisions? If not, what dates them? Do you care?
P.S. I think it can’t be understated that photography makes a big difference in whether a wedding photo seems dated. A big reason why our photos seem timeless is Tanja’s crisp, clean, true color film wizardry. Certain posing styles and processing techniques could make any wedding appear dated!
I read an interesting piece the other day that I wanted to share with y’all. It was from one of my favorite writers on personal finance, Megan McArdle, and in it, she laid out seven reasons why most of us spend more than we should. Go take a peek!
Another money guy, Dave Ramsey, likes to say that the root of our money problems is almost always ourselves, and I think it’s true! It’s not just the things that we do, but the ways that we think and the logical fallacies that we believe (as Megan points out) that undo us. If what we’re doing is not working (i.e. we’re not saving enough/we’re spending too much), then understanding why we’re doing what we’re doing is a great step toward changing our habits.
I’d love to know: which reason Megan laid out resonated most for you? I identified most with numbers 1 and 7. And I loved her final two (succinct) pieces of advice!
As y’all know, we are working with several lovely people on our wedding that are not from the town where we’re getting married. They’re not even located in Connecticut! Tanja is in California, and MacKenzie and Philip and our officiant live in North Carolina. I don’t have any statistics to back me up, but I feel like bringing wedding vendors to you is becoming more and more common. As we all increasingly do research and find vendors online, it’s easy to fall in love with a particular photographer before you even realize where she’s based.
Of course, flying in a vendor isn’t the right choice for everyone, and might even seem a little ridiculous to some. That’s okay, I don’t mind :) If, however, you are hoping to make this work for you, I’ve gathered a few tips over the last few months!
Let’s break this down…
1. Though most vendors charge (either a flat fee or on a cost-by-cost basis) if they need to travel a distance to your wedding, some do not. My friend, photographer Meredith Perdue, is a great example – she is based in Maine, and generally does not charge travel fees for New England weddings. If you haven’t yet fallen in love with a particular vendor, but know you aren’t satisfied with the vendors in your hometown, looking for a vendor whose work you love and who doesn’t charge travel fees could be a great option!
2. Once you’ve hired your vendor and know where they’re based, start doing research! I knew Tanja would be flying out of either SFO or SJC. So almost as soon as we hired her, I set up city-to-city alerts on Airfare Watchdog. This helped me get a feel for the average prices of flights from those cities to mine, so I would know what was a good flight deal and what wasn’t.
3. At around the 8-month out mark, I began checking flight prices through Kayak at least once a week. And then, one day, I saw it: a round-trip cross-country flight for $301. BAM! Done and done. (Note: Make sure you okay the flight’s date and time with your vendor before you book it!)
4. Once you’ve booked the flight, enter the details into another website, Yapta. Yapta will then track the price for you, and alert you if the fare dips below the re-booking fee, for FREE. Then you can call the airline to claim the credit. Bonus: If you book on Jet Blue, you can be refunded for ANY price drop!
5. Okay, you’ve got your vendor in your vicinity, and now you’ve got to get them around town! If you’re getting married in a big city, public transportation will probably do just fine. If, however, you’re out in the boonies, like we are, a rental car will probably be necessary. (Some vendors might be willing to be chauffeured for the weekend, and if you have a willing volunteer, then that could be a cheaper option. But make sure it’s okay with your vendor, and make sure your chauffeur is very responsible – you don’t want your photographer to be late to the church because your cousin didn’t pick them up on time!)
Y’all, rental cars can be EXPENSIVE! I didn’t really realize just how expensive until a few months ago. Thankfully, I found AutoSlash around the same time. This site is amazing!! Book through them to find the best rates (they search for the web to apply every applicable coupon), and then after you book (similar to Yapta), they’ll continually search for offers and codes to lower your rate, and automatically apply any they find. The day after I booked Tanja’s rental, they emailed me to say my rate was now $30 less!
6. They’re there, they can get around town, and now they just need a place to stay. If you’re getting married in your home town, and have lots of eager-to-help family friends with empty guest bedrooms, one option might be to have your vendor stay with one of them. HOWEVER, for this arrangement to work, your vendor has to be 100% on board, and you need to choose your family friend VERY carefully.
If your vendor will be staying in a hotel, my best recommendation is to book EARLY. We booked rooms for Tanja and our officiant just under 12 months out from our wedding, and we got an amazing rate: $84/night on Thursday, and $95/night for Friday and Saturday at a Hilton. By comparison, the same hotel is now charging $169/night for the same room. Most hotels have a 24-hour cancellation policy, anyway, so if you find a better deal a few months later, it’s no trouble to cancel your first reservation!
Whew! I know that’s a lot of information, but I hope you find it helpful! If you’re getting married, have you hired a vendor from outside your state?
P.S. I realized as I was writing this post that these tips don’t just apply to transporting wedding vendors, but to anyone who’s traveling, so enjoy! :)
