This is the fourth and final post in my working part-time as a mom series! If you need to catch up, start here:
Part One: Background on my work history and some reasons (or not) for shortening my work week Part Two: Why we chose me over my husband, why we chose going part-time over other solutions, and the financial impact Part Three: My role, negotiation, and how I structure my time at work
In the first post, I shared a bit about my intentions for how I would spend my extra time outside of work. I wrote that I did not want to add more tasks to my plate, but that this change was largely about shifting the timing of tasks (from evenings/weekends to the workweek) versus adding new tasks or responsibilities. I also planned to prioritize digital tasks, because they are the most opaque and thus least likely to teach my children something, and tasks that are complicated with the ages of our children.
Almost five months in, I would say I’ve hewed pretty well to these hopes. In looking back over what I’ve accomplished in this season of Fridays (which is easy, because you know I love me some good record keeping), a few things have surprised me:
— I knew that grocery shopping would be a constant every week, but I thought cleaning out my email inbox would be, too. (Not getting to email zero, but just responding to anything that came in in the last few days that needed a response.) That has flat-out not happened at all. I also have yet to work on a blog post on a Friday (!), something I definitely thought would happen.
— I have gone to Trader Joe’s WAY more than I expected, ha. Though I love TJ’s, it’s just far-enough out of the way as to be inconvenient. I would go 2-3 times a year, usually when another errand took me past its cheerful doors. My Friday flexibility, however, combined with John’s discovery of this Instagram account, has me going there far more often. This has been fun on the food front but likely not as fun for our budget or my use of time.
— The category that seems to have expanded the most is social connection – the time I’ve spent with and for friends has exceeded my expectations, even though I planned for it to increase. This has been a joy, but has also required me to adjust my expectations for how my time will be spent and what else I’ll be able to get done.
— I’ve also generally had to adjust my expectations for how much I can get done in six hours. I know – I knew – that six hours is not that long, but I am constantly overestimating my capacity for a given Friday. It feels like I get a lot less done than I do on a six-hour workday, and I think that’s because my work days are extremely efficient – I’m basically just sitting in one place and pounding things out (and I’m also very good after all these years at planning my time blocks and estimating what I’ll be able to accomplish). On Fridays, I’m gathering supplies, driving places, moving around our house. That in-between time adds up!
Shall we take a look at a few representative Fridays? Let’s do it.
An August Friday — An hour of physical therapy — Grocery shopped + unloaded groceries — Stopped by school to drop meds and forms — Visited the Ferguson showroom to look at kitchen lighting — Updated our kitchen plan doc and sent it to Callie — Emailed a copy of my Sunday service to an Islander who had asked for it — Finally purchased the Atlantic subscription I promised my Dad’s for his Father’s Day gift (in my defense, this took longer because I had to call customer service – but a great example of a simple task that I just never seemed to get around to!) — Registered for mother-daughter camp weekend
A September Friday — Played tennis with John (this was a treat!) — Dropped a package at UPS — Unloaded and loaded dishwasher — Met with our cabinet painter to finalize details and sent a follow-up email to our other kitchen contractor — Grocery shopped and unloaded groceries — Changed the sheets on our bed and the kids’ beds — Scheduled various appointments — Picked kids up from an early release day and went to the pool with friends
Another September Friday — Picked up meals at Donovan’s Dish — Delivered a meal to friends with a new baby — Delivered a meal to friends who had just moved into a new house — Eye appointment — Picked up supplies from a coworker — Picked up clothing at the tailors — Dropped a package at UPS — Picked up specialty cat food — Dropped our expired car seat in the Target collection bin — Messaged our community group to plan the food for our next dinner
An October Friday — Went to the book fair at June’s school — Doctor appointment — Brunch with Lisa and Kristin — Picked up a necklace repair — Picked up diapers and a prescription at Target — Grocery shopped and unloaded groceries — Paid credit cards — Photographed and offered several things for sale on our Buy Nothing group — Packed up coats for a coat drive
A November Friday — Dropped car for inspection — Took Annie to a play place with a friend then brought her to school — Trader Joe’s — Made a donation drop off — Grocery shopped and unloaded groceries — Called to ask a question about our dental insurance — Updated my Christmas gift spreadsheet and made some more decisions — Texted our babysitter about upcoming dates — Found a new date for a rescheduled phone call with a friend — Attended Shep’s parent-teacher conference — Met up with a friend from church to walk and chat about an upcoming program
A December Friday — Walked with a neighborhood friend who asked to pick my brain about starting a blog — Caught up on text messages — Met with a friend who’s asked me to edit her new product — Wrote a thank you note — Dropped packages at UPS and USPS — Returned books to the library and picked up holds — Picked up an item from a friend’s house — Trader Joe’s — Grocery shopped and unloaded groceries — Made our end-of-year celebration dinner reservation — Posted my monthly Instagram Stories update — Ordered Yoto cards
Whether you look at these lists and think, I wish my Fridays looked more like that, or you look at them and think, heck no, I’ll keep earning money, thank you, I hope what you take away is a little more appreciation for all that you do to live a thoughtful life and care for others. I have no doubt your own list would be long, too, and that at least some of it is squeezed into less-than-ideal pockets of time.
Friends, thank you for being thoughtful and caring here in this series, and generous and interested, too. It means so much to me. Whatever stage of your career you find yourself in, and whatever plans you have for the future, I hope you took something away from this conversation! Grateful for you. xo
Over 13+ years of working in the creative industry, I have amassed some extraordinarily talented friends – many of whom I’ve shared right here with you all over the years. It is a joy to watch them do what they do and get to cheer them on along the way! And today, I have the extra delight of sharing a giveaway from one of my favorite duos, the gals behind Persnickety Gifts.
They’re smart, they’re funny, and they speak straight to the heart of the “pretty good mom” with their done-for-you stockings and other holiday baskets. If you love the idea of shopping small, curating thoughtful gifts, and creating everyday magic for your littles, but don’t have the patience, know-how, bandwidth, and/or desire to make it happen, this is for you!
Their done-for-you stockings couldn’t be easier: you choose your child’s age and gender on their website, and they send you a neatly-packaged bundle of goodies ready to tuck into their stocking on Christmas Eve. No paying shipping from 15 retailers or breaking down 15 boxes – just handpicked delights from small and lovable businesses. (And no weird surprises, either – you can see everything that will be included right in the listing!)
So fun, yes? And lucky for us, Persnickety was kind enough to let me give away one done-for-you stocking! Just leave a comment here with the gift you’re most excited to give this holiday, and which stocking bundle you’d choose (age + gender – and of course, you don’t have to follow their recommendations! I got Shep the 5-7 bundle even though he’s 4.). Consider following Persnickety on Instagram or signing up for their newsletter for a little holiday magic throughout the year, if you’d like.
I’ll choose a winner on Friday! If you’re too excited to wait, go ahead and use code EMILY for free shipping on any order :)
Before we go, let’s talk about the grown-ups for a moment. Do grown-ups get stockings in your house, too? If so, here are a few of my favorite ideas, some of which will be appearing in my own house this Christmas morning…
Christmas Friday was marvelous in theory and mediocre in practice – owing to my own execution. The date I chose (the best option in November) turned out to be a day I had an appointment scheduled and June was home from school for a teacher workday. So, I did not get to complete as many tasks as I had hoped (and some tasks were just not possible with a little helper in the vicinity), but it was still a great kickstart to the Christmas season.
And now here I am, a few weeks later, typing by the light of my Christmas tree. We’ve had it up since Sunday and strung lights on it immediately, but tonight we’re planning to kick off December by hanging the ornaments, drinking sparkling cider with dinner, and breaking out the Christmas pajamas. I think we might have a new tradition on our hands, pals. Wishing us all more of this everyday magic as the season unfolds.
The beautiful Duke Chapel decked out for the Christmas concert earlier this week. Always one of my favorite nights of the Christmas season!
On my calendar this month: — Dinner out with John for our 2022 review and celebration. — Hosting my family twice: for a trip to the Nutcracker earlier in the month and over Christmas proper! — A viewing of About Time, one of my favorite movies of all... time. Can’t go more than a few years without letting it wreck me emotionally.
What I’m loving right now: — My PowerSheets prep work. The best chance to reset and dream! — This episode about “otherness” as a Christian family on the Family Discipleship podcast. I think Jen Wilkin is the patron saint of young moms and I love her for it. — This white v-neck tee from Quince. I saw my friend wearing it a few weeks ago, promptly asked her where it was from, and then promptly ordered my own. If worn with a nude bra it’s not at all see-through, the quality is great, the vee depth is just right, and the price is very right. I also bought this dress in the pretty dark olive and am excited to break it out in the spring!
As a reminder, you can find alllll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in November: — The Common Rule | I finally finished this slim book after poking away at it over several months and friends, I LOVED IT. I’m desperate to get our small group to read through it together in 2023, as it’s rich for discussion and experimenting with in community. — Between Two Kingdoms | This memoir of a 22-year-old diagnosed with leukemia and eventually requiring a bone marrow transplant was recommended by Emily Oster as her favorite read last year, and about 3/4 of the way through, it has not disappointed. Harrowing, gripping, moving.
A little update on my reading list for 2022: it’s been a joy! So far, I’ve read 13 of the 24 books on the list. It doesn’t seem like I’ll get to all of them before the end of the year, but I hope to finish 2-3 more before December 31st!
Revisiting my November goals: Sew the tree onto the backing for my Advent calendar (DONE! It’s hanging on our wall!!) Finish organizing the garage (I don’t think it’s the right season for it, and as this requires John’s assistance, it’s hard to schedule when I can work on it. Tabling for now!) Edit Sheptember, Volume 4 (No, but it will be completed in December! Chose a song!) Complete Christmas Friday! Cull and organize six months of my 2021 photos (This got bumped from a Friday due to a schedule reshuffle.) Order final kitchen details on BFCM
December goals: — Prepare well for my family’s visits. With such a large group, I’ve learned that advance (somewhat intense) planning is key to being able to fully enjoy our time together. — Cull and organize 2021 photos — Complete the final six ornaments for the Advent calendar (!!!) — Edit Sheptember, Volume 4 — Write 9 blog posts, including the final part in my part-time work series, a recap of our anniversary trip and marriage summit, a Highlands recap, a look at the completed Advent calendar (!), and my traditional end-of-year posts (some of my favorites!) — Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most. Even to me this sounds somewhat trite, but also the best way I know to celebrate the arrival of a tiny baby king who did the same.
While I have you, a question: what are your favorite Christmas movies to watch with your kids? Family movie night will be Christmas-themed in December, and I think mine are still too young for some of my favorites. The Star is on our list, as well as How the Grinch Stole Christmas (old) and A Charlie Brown Christmas, but I’d love to hear what else your family has loved! We tried The Muppet Christmas Carol last year but they lost interest fairly quickly. The Santa Clause, Love Actually, Elf, and It’s a Wonderful Life are some of my favorites :)
How do gifts work in your families of origin these days? For several years, on both sides, we’ve moved to picking names for siblings. A few years ago, we incorporated John’s parents into the picks on the Thomas side. This year, for my family, we’re forgoing sibling gifts and instead getting together and going out for a nice dinner. (We’ll still gift individually to my parents.) I don’t know if we’ll do it every year, but it’s a fun experiment!
Even though I’m giving (and receiving!) fewer gifts this year, I still thought it would be fun to share a few things on my personal wish list while Black Friday Cyber Monday sales are still in full swing. As in the kids’ guide, I’ve listed a few tried-and-true favorites below, as well.
On my wish list:
— A new set of mixing bowls | The glass set of 7 bowls we took with us when we moved to North Carolina is down to three. This pretty set would be even better for all the little bakers joining me in the kitchen these days. — A wool coat in a punchy color | I wear my down parka daily in the winter, but it would be lovely to have a dressier option to mix in. I have looked at these beauties for YEARS without pulling the trigger. — A tennis dress | John and I have rearranged appointments on Fridays to play together a few times, and I foresee more matches in our future now that June is taking lessons. The green is gorgeous! — A soft, chunky sweater | Again in the green. This one is a splurge, but I seem to have reached the season of my life where I’d rather buy one sweater every few years and make it an especially good one. — A dough bowl candle | Love these candles poured on the coast of NC – would look so pretty in the center of our table. — Sweetest library bag | We visit biweekly at least, and our arms are always overflowing :)
And here are a few things I own and love that I think are worthy of adding to your wish list:
Clothing and accessories:
— Maylis shoes | I own and adore the Ella heels (in cream, at top) and the Catherine loafers (in Maylis blue, above). Both pairs are comfortable, beautiful, well-made, and required almost no breaking in. Still in awe one of my bestest friends has seen a dream come to life in this company! — Julie Vos Penelope Demi Studs | I wear these 95% of days. Classic pearl studs with the loveliest gold-rim upgrade. — Clementine shorts | Made for athletic pursuits but they look cute enough to wear out and about with a tee! I love the green color I own and wish they’d restock it. — Kule tee | My favorite striped tee (below). I have the Classic in cream and navy, but it reads black and white to me. — Hunter Play Rain Boots | I used to own tall Hunter boots and almost never wore them, because they were uncomfortable and hard to take on and off. I received the shorter version for Christmas last year and ADORE them! Perfect for rainy walks and school pick-ups. — Ugg Classic Mini II Bootie | I was dubious about adding these to my wish list two years ago, but I am fully converted. Priceless for staying warm in the winter, especially with walking June to school and hanging with friends and neighbors outdoors. — Summersalt swim suit | I have the Sidestroke and the Oasis and I LOVE them both. I would order up at least one size, as I think they run small. Very fun one-pieces and they’re always getting compliments from other mamas at the pool! — Lake Pajamas | It’s been approximately four years since I’ve worn any other pajamas. I wear the long-longs year-round and they feel so cool and silky. — Bow sun hat | This hat is going on year seven or eight and it still looks good as new! Packable, adorable, keeps my face protected. — Shearling slippers | At hours-of-wear, this item of clothing would probably clock in at the top of my wardrobe – they’re my go-to from when I walk in the door to hopping into bed. — Tree Skippers | These shoes are incredibly comfortable and cute to wear with everything – dresses, shorts, jeans (see below!). Just make sure to wear no-show socks with them, as they are a bit prone to holes.
Other:
— Half Baked Harvest Super Simple | One of the only cookbooks I actually cook out of. Lots of dogeared pages in this one! — Skin Twin Featherweight Foundation | I wear this daily and love that it evens out my skin without covering anything up. Clean ingredients, too. — Original Bogg Bag | Just me, or did these start showing up everywhere last year? I see them at the pool, the beach, and soccer game days (and we use ours in all of those places), but I think they’re particularly helpful for road trip packing. We were gifted ours by a friend and I’m so grateful! — Block stamp zipper toiletry bags | I picked up the large size while in Connecticut this year. The patterns and colors and great and I think the price is good, too! — Striped snap tote | I bought six of these for teacher gifts one year when they were marked down to $15, and am SO glad I snagged one for myself, too! They fold up flat and snap open to fit a ton, and I use mine at least weekly! — Round serving tray | I have the blue design, but all three are absolutely gorgeous. They’re a good size and perfect for corralling things on a dresser or coffee table! — Boat & Tote bags | Incredibly sturdy and incredibly classic. I like mine open top, in navy, with sans serif embroidery. — PowerSheets | My beloved goal planner and monthly calendar rolled into one. Can’t do life without them.
For the men in your life, don’t forget this post on some of John’s favorites – lots of good ideas in there!
