Over the holidays, we hosted 12 people in our home – five members of our own family, and the rest, beloved extended family. This wasn’t our first time hosting, but after a few gos (and benefitting from experiencing the hospitality of other, more experienced hosts ourselves), it felt like our smoothest and most successful stay yet. I took notes throughout our time together, and would love to share a few tips while they’re still fresh!
1. Clear surfaces.
Before guests arrived, I moved through the house and cleared off every surface I could – counters, benches, side tables, coffee tables, desks. Your house is about to get a lot more chaotic, with not only many more bodies but their attendant cups/bags/chargers/water bottles/books. Creating space in advance not only gives those items a place to land, it helps to keep your home visually calm (which for me, helps with mental calm!).
2. Plan every meal.
And I mean EVERY meal. In previous years of hosting, I’d always plan out a menu, but I’d often purposefully leave gaps. Oh, I’d think, we’ll probably have leftovers then, or maybe we’ll go out for that meal. Reader, there were never leftovers. Reader, it took an hour for us to decide by committee whether we wanted to go out or get takeout, and what kind of food we were in the mood for.
This time, I made a plan for every single meal. I planned whether we would get takeout or whether we’d eat at a restaurant. I planned something for every breakfast. I planned for every lunch. With large groups, I’ve found that a laidback meal plan is not generous or community-spirited, it’s a firestorm of frustration and hangry kids waiting to happen.
Of course, we could and did veer from the plan throughout the week, but always being prepared with a Plan A was key to keeping everyone fed and happy.
3. Don’t forget the fun.
Speaking of meal plans: don’t forget that as the host (especially if it’s a holiday week!), you’re assuming the role of head magic-maker, at least on the food front. You know all those special little touches that delight you as a guest at your parents’ or friends’ home? It’s your turn! I’m thinking things like a festive cocktail with dinner, a mini charcuterie board in the afternoon, fun breakfasts, the traditional dessert that’s a part of every family Christmas, a post-present-opening pan of sliders, or an afternoon snack of hot pretzels.
This is not to say that all the fun or food needs to literally be created by you, but the shopping list might. Otherwise, you might be dooming yourself to a last-minute grocery store run :)
4. Buy more fruit than you think you need.
Speaking of grocery store runs: this tip just as easily could have been “buy more of everything than you think you need,” but I find fruit goes particularly fast. Costco is my favorite place to buy grapes, berries, bananas, clementines, and the like so I don’t have to feel miserly as I dole out fruit to kids at breakfast.
5. Get on the same page as your spouse about helper tasks.
I am fully owning that this might be a niche piece of advice for my own marriage – or perhaps it’s more universal. You tell me :)
John and I sometimes differ on how much help we want or need from our guests, especially when the guests are family members. What feels natural to me is a model where guests pitch in with almost everything. I’ve seen bonds strengthened over a sink full of suds and I know my family gets antsy if they feel like they’re sitting around when others are “working.” John, desiring to allow our guests to relax and to keep a sense of normalcy in the way things are run around the house, prefers that we do the bulk of household tasks as they come up.
Here’s what’s helped us moved past this clash: brainstorming in advance what jobs we both feel great about guests taking on AND which jobs we want to keep in our control. For example, my Dad took on the job of breaking down cardboard boxes and carting them to the recycling – so helpful! Or maybe there’s a family member who’s happy to make last-minute runs to the store. Maybe someone loves folding laundry and you don’t have strong feelings about how laundry is folded. But maybe you do have strong feelings about how the dishwasher is loaded :)
6. Plan for auxiliary trash and recycling…
Speaking of cardboard boxes (see how these are all connected? :)): 12 people will generally create a lot of trash and recycling, especially if you’re hosting your group over the holidays (think: gift packaging, wrapping paper, shipping boxes, bottles of fun beverages, etc.). To make matters worse, your regular trash and recycling pick-up might be delayed because of the holidays.
Before you get to the point where you’re surrounded by overflowing garbage cans and are blindly chucking cardboard boxes into your garage because the recycling’s full (ask me how I know), reserve a large cardboard box or two to serve as overflow trash and recycling receptacles. It will keep things SO much more organized.
7. …and secondary food storage.
This might not be needed if you have a large pantry, a garage refrigerator, or a chest freezer. We have none of those things, so we had to get a bit more creative to store the large amounts of food needed to feed 12 people three meals a day for several days.
Happily (though slightly embarrassingly), we still had a wire shelf on our porch that was removed during our kitchen refresh. Because of the low temperatures, we were able to store not only boxed and bagged goods on it, but even items that should have been in our refrigerator. If outside temperatures hadn’t cooperated, I would have conscripted our cooler.
Obviously, it’s most important to make sure your food stays at a safe temperature (you know John was on top of that!), but you will likely find it difficult to store enough food for several days in a single refrigerator/freezer. We definitely did.
Cousins to read with! Annie’s favorite part of houseguests!
8. Run a load of laundry every night.
I learned this one from watching my sister-in-law! Some of you may normally be one-load-a-day people, but we are not – we tend to do a few loads once a week. However, I’ve found it very helpful to run a small load every night when we have a large group of guests. That way, anyone can throw an item of clothing in that may have gotten stained during the day, and a fresh tablecloth and napkins are always at the ready. Speaking of which…
9. Use tablecloths (and make sure you have two).
One of my least favorite household chores is wiping down the table after meals, using a tablecloth makes it bearable. Our collection is nothing fancy – they’re mostly from Target or Amazon (like these pretty ones!) – but clean-up becomes super easy when you can simply scoop up the cloth and all the crumbs, give it a good shake outside, then pop it in the washing machine. Same for cloth napkins. Instead of trying to remember whose whose, just toss them in your daily load.
10. Hug your robot vacuum.
Our robot vacuum is a treasured member of the fam on an ordinary day, but with a big group of houseguests, it’s such a comfort knowing that the floors will be wiped clean overnight with minimal effort on our part. We still often have to do a mid-day sweep, but our little one-robot cleaning crew definitely lightens the load.
11. Institute the five-minute clean-up.
Our 12 guests included several children, all of whom greatly enjoyed playing with each other and seemingly every toy we own (often at the same time). I did my best to embrace this, but also regularly called for “5-minute clean-ups.” We’d do these before meals, before quiet time, before bedtime, before leaving the house – whenever it felt needed. With many hands pitching in, we usually had the play space back to baseline before the timer even dinged.
12. Edit your toy selection.
One thing that made 5-minute clean-ups easier was a thoughtful edit of our toys before guests arrived. If there are toys with tons of little pieces you don’t want to manage, toys that you know will cause squabbling, or toys that generally encourage rowdiness, consider moving them to a closet, the attic, or a playroom away from the main gathering spaces. For example, we kept our MagnaTiles in the main room, but I put the LEGO bin in the attic as well as a ride-on toy that usually lives downstairs.
13. Get outside every day.
This one doesn’t need much explanation, but it’s so important! A quick walk around the block or a longer hike refreshes everyone, burns off some energy, and is a nice chance to mix and match the group. Even though it was brisk, we’d bundle up for a quick spin around our neighborhood most nights after dinner, and tried to get outside at least one other time during the day, too.
No matter the size of your home or the makeup of your houseguests, hosting a large group is a big undertaking. I’ve found that the more preparation I do in advance, the easier it is to relax and enjoy my loved ones while I’m with them. I hope this post can help you do just that!
Of course, there are many more tips I could add (and I hope you’ll add your best nuggets in the comments!), but these were a few of the more obscure tidbits that really made a difference for us in the thick of things. Tuck this post away for when your next group is coming to town! :)
It was a sweet start to the new year! From a delicious Articles Club retreat to a simple afternoon bike ride with my little guy, from hosting our first family for dinner to knocking three books off my 2023 list, to finally (!) posting my Highlands recap to celebrating our 18th dativersary, I am grateful.
At the end of this month, I turn 36. If you’ve been reading for a while, you know this is a special age for me. I am grateful and excited to see what this next year holds! Thank you, thank you, Lord.
On my calendar this month: — An NC State gymnastics meet! For our monthly date, June and I are going to cheer on one of our local teams, snacks in tow :) — A Duke game! Thanks to a very kind friend who allowed us to buy two of her family’s season tickets after seeing my blog post, John and I are headed to a game this month. — Making classroom valentines! June, Shep, and I have been discussing our plans, and it looks like we’re going to use the shaving cream trick to marble some paper and then incorporate it into two different designs. Stay tuned!
What I’m loving right now: — John graciously gifted me the Alice Walk sweater on my Christmas list and I am in loooove. It will not be the last piece of clothing I own from them! It is SO soft, beautifully made, the sage green color is gorgeous, and – best of all – it can be machine washed and dried and does NOT shrink at all. Bliss! I think this striped number is next on my list. — On the recommendation of the Articles Club gals, I picked up a bag of Heavenly Hunks at Costco a few weeks ago. These little nuggets are gluten- and dairy-free as well as vegan, and are legitimately delicious. One after dinner is the perfect treat! — I recently discovered Chelsea Mcshane’s paintings and wow! So beautiful. She has faith-based and kid-focused pieces and I’m currently debating several for a spot in our kitchen.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in January: — Mere Christianity | For me, this book is like the most comforting, warm hug. So grateful for Lewis’s elegant, generous writing. — Becoming Mrs. Lewis | I specifically paired this book and the above because I thought it would be neat to read C.S. Lewis’s writing while reading a novel about his life. And it was! I switched back and forth between the two on alternating nights. As for the novel itself: I enjoyed it. It is a complicated story. I struggled with some of the choices Joy made (namely, leaving her boys for months and months), but also understand that she was living in a different time under difficult circumstances. I’m glad I read it. — Book Lovers | It has been years since I read a romcom, and this one did not disappoint! The plot was a bit predictable, but I enjoyed the snappy, fun dialogue.
Starting out strong with my reading list for 2023! Here it is, if you’d like to follow along.
Revisiting my January goals: Finish sketching out my goal plan for the rest of the year Brainstorm potential dinner guests and choose families for February and March Assign problem areas to months and dig into January’s assignment (Tackled my desk in January!) Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos (No – my free days were swallowed by a friend’s project I’m helping with, but hope will spring eternal in February :)) Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2022 Prep for Valentine’s Day fun Download the Blurb software Finish planning and enjoy the Articles Club retreat (Yes! Recap coming soon!)
February goals: — Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos — Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2022 — Tackle our upstairs hall closet — Sell or clear out the remaining items from our kitchen refresh (two light fixtures and bar stools) — Share some thoughts here around my birthday. Been mulling on this post for awhile!
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
Keeping things simple this month in the hopes I can knock them all out – one in particular :) In addition to the birthday post (and at the risk of spoiling the surprise), I’m also planning to share tips for hosting large groups of houseguests, an Articles Club retreat recap, all about reading the first Harry Potter with June, my top five favorite board books, our keys to a happy marriage, three family faith formation practices that have been helpful for us, and a Marvelous Money post on the cost of adding a third child. I’d love to hear which one you’re most excited about! :)
While I do have severalgoals for the year, I have just one resolution. (Saying that with a bit of a cheeky wink – the difference between goals and resolutions, in my mind, being that goals are things I plan for and track, and resolutions are simply well-meaning intentions. Needless to say I don’t go in much for resolutions :))
Anyway, here’s the resolution: I resolve to post my Em for Marvelous travel recaps in the month they happened, or the month after. I am… not known for this, which is why I’m posting our October trip to Highlands here in January. But I’d really like to be better, because it’s much easier to remember details and, I think, capture the feel of a trip when it’s fresh in my mind! The problem is usually that travel recaps loom large in my mind, since they’re some of the more laborious posts I write with all of their photos and details and linking. But I do love them for family memory keeping purposes, and I’m always delightfully surprised by the number of you who have written and commented over the years that you’ve used a travel post as inspiration for your own family’s adventures. (Thank you for letting me know – truly, a huge compliment!)
In that spirit, let’s chat about our most recent visit to Highlands, NC!
John and I had been to Highlands a few times before – most recently in 2020, when it was a welcome respite in the middle of all things pandemic. That trip was pretty darn wonderful, so it was rather bold of us to attempt a repeat so soon, ha! Our 2022 trip was delightful in its own way, but not without its challenges, as you’ll see.
Highlands is about 5 hours from our home near Raleigh, NC. We left school a bit early on Thursday, October 20 to arrive in Highlands about 6pm. We stayed in this Airbnb, which was perched on the side of a mountain just outside of downtown – with kids, it was about a 25-minute walk to the main drag, or about a 10-minute drive.
As you find with many mountain town rental homes, the driveway was a bit unnerving. I was glad John was driving :) We have an SUV, so I wasn’t really afraid we wouldn’t be able to get up the hill, but the driveway itself was gravel, steep, and did not have much turning or parking room at the top.
The house itself was lovely, though! The breakfast table was beautiful in the morning sun, and we enjoyed the games stocked on the shelves. If I could do it again I would have chosen a place without stairs for this particular year, as Annie was bound and determined to climb them and much of our time was spent chasing her down or spotting her as she climbed.
On our first night, John walked down the mountain into town with the kids to stretch their legs (above) while I drove down in the car (to ferry us all back after dark). We grabbed takeout from Mountain Fresh Grocery. We’d been there before and have liked many things we’ve gotten, but June and I both got pasta this time and were not impressed – it was pretty flavorless. Stick to the pizza, grill, or prepared foods case!
The next morning, we ate breakfast at the house before heading out to hike Whiteside Mountain. We had tried to hike Whiteside the last time we were in Highlands, but the parking lot was too full by the time we arrived. (We did, however, hike it wayyyyy back in 2011!) Well, the combo of arriving at 10am and on a Friday did the trick, because we easily found a spot this time around.
The hike was a delight with a view well worth the climb. (One thing I especially appreciate about this hike: even though you’re right up on the edge and there are steep cliffs, it is well fenced, making it less stressful with little ones.) The kids were absolute champs, especially June who – as we found out later – was suffering from the flu. Argh! Talk about a cringe parenting moment. I hate that we made her climb a literal mountain while she was under the weather, but she was a complete and total trooper.
We walked right up to The Wine Garden at Madison’s (run by Old Edwards Inn, in the center of town) for lunch, and it was one of my favorite memories of the trip! Their seating is outside, and it was a chilly day, but we were cozy and comfy with heat lamps and thick blankets at each of our seats. Though Old Edwards is generally a high-end spot, the outdoor setting, bustling atmosphere, and mini waterfall at our backs made for a kid-friendly lunch (can you spot us in the picture above?). Recommend!
After lunch, it was back to the house for quiet time. John and I probably napped, ha. Later that evening, we drove back downtown and walked the streets looking in shop windows while we waited for our table to be ready at Four65. (One thing that kind of annoys me about Highlands – the shops close really early! Even in what I assume is peak fall season, almost every shop on the main street was closed at 6 or before.)
We LOVED our dinner at Four65! Our wood-fired pizzas were delicious, we were seated at a big round table tucked in the corner (great for kids!), they brought fun coloring sheets and crayons to the table, and the service was great. Recommend!
Another morning, another hike. But first! A major Dad move. On the drive to the start, John led us on a short jaunt into the forest on the side of the road to pay our respects to a very old, very grand tree – the Bob Padgett Tulip Poplar. We talked about how it was older than America, and the kids were somewhat impressed.
We then made our way to our true destination, Secret Falls. It was an easy half-mile hike with several logs to walk across and streams to hop. And the waterfalls at the end were beautiful! It lived up to its secretive name – we passed maybe one other group on the trail and saw another in the parking lot when we got back to our car, but were otherwise on our own.
We grabbed a quick lunch at Highlands Burritos, which was fine but in the name of transparency a stressful parenting moment, as Annie was tired and hungry and not afraid to let us know it :)
After quiet time, we drove back into town, grabbed a charcuterie kit from Mountain Fresh (we learned from our experience in 2020!), and hiked up Sunset Rock to watch the sun go down. It’s a pretty easy hike even in twilight – about 45 minutes up and 30 minutes down on a wide gravel road.
That night, we ate dinner at the Ugly Dog Pub, another revisit from 2020. Unfortunately, it was another lackluster experience – the service was pretty awful, which can be a bit stressful when you’re trying to move expeditiously through dinner with three little kids after a long day. But we survived! The food was fine :)
On Sunday, we packed up and headed home, grateful for another weekend in the beautiful mountains we love.
And that’s a wrap! For more from Highlands, my recap from 2020 has lots of photos and details, too. And stay tuned, because in 2023, we’re headed to Boone for a totally new adventure! :)
For those of you who are tired of reading about goals after four posts in a row, my apologies :) Hopefully there’s something in this post to love, even if goals aren’t your favorite EFM content! And if you are a fellow goal setter, hopefully this post (or at least the timing of it) is encouragement that there’s always time to dig into what matters. I still have two full weeks to make progress on my January goals, and that feels really good. Here we go!
A few housekeeping reminders here at the beginning of the year: if you’d like to get an email every time there’s a new EFM post, you can sign up for that here. If you’re ever searching for something I’ve mentioned loving in a past goals post, you can find it here. And if you’re looking for my Amazon shop (favorite books, games, kid stuff, etc.), you can find that here!
On my calendar this month: — The first (annual?!) Articles Club retreat! All 12 of us are going to a big house at the beach for the weekend. This trip has really highlighted the research finding that preparing for a vacation brings even more pleasure than the vacation itself: the secrets, chatter, scheming, and planning with our different committees has been such fun that I almost don’t know how the actual retreat will top it – but I trust it will. — Our 18th dativersary! Thinking we will have dinner at Jujube to celebrate. — A very low-key paint-your-own pottery outing with cousins and a handful of friends to celebrate June’s 7th birthday. She is making the goodie bags herself, inspired by this Christmas present, and there will be dirt cups :)
What I’m loving right now: — A friend saw that I put Habits of the Household on my reading list and asked if I wanted to do a mini book club: her and her husband, me and mine. What a delight! I strongly felt that his first book should be read in community, and I’m sure I’ll feel the same about this one. We’re currently figuring out a structure that will work for both families, but I’m just tickled by this prospect. — Because I find the original Airpods we own to be extremely uncomfortable, I had sworn off wireless earbuds completely. John recently convinced me to try this set and wow! They are SO comfortable, have great noise-canceling ability, and are $200 less than the Apple version. I wear them when John and I are working out in the same room, when listening to podcasts and doing chores around the house, and occasionally for work. — The Mole! I mentioned it in my Best of 2022 post, but it’s too good not to get an individual shout-out. If you enjoyed the original Anderson Cooper version, you’ll love the Netflix reboot. If you did not see the original version, you’ll love the reboot. It’s smart, fun, and provided lots of conversation fodder as the episodes counted down and we tried to figure out who done it.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in December: — Four Thousand Weeks | I have complicated feelings about this book. On the one hand, I very much agreed with his thesis – it’s similar to what we teach at Cultivate – and dog-eared several pages to refer to later. On the other, he seemed to totally misunderstand and dismiss the Christian worldview (which I believe lines up very much with his argument) and set up an unnecessarily antagonist relationship between productivity strategies and big-picture thinking. I also felt like he was trying to be reassuring throughout the book, but he still made me feel anxious – and I’m not a particularly anxious person. Overall, there were parts I liked, but I ultimately gave it a thumbs down in my very precise thumbs-up-or-thumbs-down Notes rating system :) — The Four Winds | Kristin Hannah does it again! I was warned many times over that this book was “very depressing,” and I think that helped me come in with appropriate expectations. It is about the Great Depression, but I came away finding it a tale of love and resilience. I love how each of her novels is set in such a distinct time and place – I always come away feeling like I learned something new.
Revisiting my December goals: Prepare well for my family’s visits (Yes! This went really well. I took notes for a future post on preparing to host large groups of houseguests!) Cull and organize 2021 photos (Are you tired of this goal yet? I am.) Complete the final six ornaments for the Advent calendar (YES! And it was thoroughly enjoyed all month.) Edit Sheptember, Volume 4 Write 9 blog posts (8! Just didn’t get to the Highlands recap. Look for it on a blog near you later this month :)) Savor the Christmas season (Yes, indeed.)
January goals: — Finish sketching out my goal plan for the rest of the year (i.e. what I’m going to tackle when – page 27 in my PowerSheets!) — Brainstorm potential dinner guests and choose families for February and March (January is already locked in!) — Assign problem areas to months and dig into January’s assignment — Finish culling and sorting 2021 photos — Print our favorite Instagram photos from 2022 — Prep for Valentine’s Day fun — Download the Blurb software — Finish planning and enjoy the Articles Club retreat!!
I’ll also be aiming for nightly Peloton stretches with John, drinking two of my 30oz water bottles a day, and dedicating two hours every week to my “secret” project. I expect these habit-based goals will stay all year!
I’d love to hear: Are you trying anything new in January? Even if you don’t set official gOaLs, I find it’s often still a fresh start for people :)
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!Affiliate links are used in this post!
