Editor’s note: I wrote most of this post when I was still pregnant with Annie (!). It’s sat in my drafts folder for more than two years, waiting for me to come back and finish it up. Today is the day! I decided the best thing to do would be to publish my original speculative thoughts and then add a little two-years-in update with how things have actually turned out (so far). I hope it’s helpful!
There were a number of topics I knew I wanted to discuss once the news was out about baby number three. There was deciding to have a third baby at all, of course, as well as the pros and cons of another boy or girl. But one I was really looking forward to? The financial implications of having a third child. We’ve discussed the intersection of money and kids a few times (here and here most specifically!), and I find it an endlessly fascinating and severely under-discussed topic. So, consider this post one part sharing our personal experience, one part encouragement, and one part practical strategizing. As always, I can’t wait to hear your thoughts. Let’s dig in!
Though each additional kiddo in a family introduces a new element to the financial picture, I think a third child is unique in a way a second or even a fourth is not. I thought I’d walk through a few common kid budget categories to share how we thought through them, and a few things you might want to think about if you’re considering having a third. I hope this post offers some hope, helpful perspective, and fodder for conversation with your spouse! :)
Housing
Let’s tackle a big one first! People have been curious from the beginning as to where baby sister will sleep. Our home has four bedrooms, so theoretically we have a room for each kiddo and one for John and me. However, it’s important for us to maintain a guest room, considering that we have frequently-visiting family who lives far away, so as I explained here, we’re planning to keep our guest room intact and add a crib to it. This should hold us for at least two years, at which time we can decide if we want to house two of the kids together, officially designate the guest room as baby sister’s room (but keep the big bed for guest visits), or consider a move to a larger home. I shared a room at times growing up and would have no problem with that scenario.
Bottom line: For us, baby number three won’t add any additional cost to the housing line in our budget. Regardless of whether we had a third child, we likely would have considered moving in a few years, anyway, so I’d consider this category a wash.
Update two years in: Annie is still going strong in the room previously known as the guest room! We’re hoping she’ll last another year in her crib before transitioning to the queen bed. June is also keen for the two of them to share a room, so we may consider bunk beds in the future. No immediate plans to move :)
Transportation
Another big one! Many people find a third child pushes them over the edge to a larger car, either to get a third row of seating in an SUV or to switch to a minivan. Obviously, this can be a huge expense.
Our take: Currently, we have a Kia Sorento. We love it! It’s a small three-row SUV, but it does not have captain’s chairs, so there’s no easy way to get to the third row of seats with two car seats installed in the middle row (i.e. they can’t slide forward with the car seats installed).
To accommodate a three-child family at our kids’ ages, we have a few options. We could invest in skinnier car seats that would fit three across. This is what Nancy did to fit three kids in their Highlander, using the Diono car seats. They’re pricy, but less than buying a different car.
Or, we could have June climb in through the back lift gate or clamber over the second row of seats. She does not mind these options – in fact, she kind of loves them – but they’re not the most practical for things like carpool pick-up lines or when we’re traveling and have the trunk packed full.
Bottom line: We will almost certainly upgrade to a larger SUV with captain’s chairs at some point in the not-so-distant future. We have our eye on the Kia Telluride. This will be a big expense that we may not have incurred if we had stayed at two kiddos, but we’re thankful to have socked away money for this expense over the last few years and plan to pay cash. Also, it’s nice to know we could do just fine with our current ride and can make this change on our own time table.
Update two years in: We placed an order for a Telluride two months before Annie was born and received it four months after she was born! Big, big Telly fans over here.
Childcare
The final biggest immediate expense! Anecdotally, I feel like the change from two to three children is when many couples feel that it no longer financially makes sense for both parents to work outside the home and pay for three kids to go to full-time childcare. Of course, this depends greatly on the age gaps between your kids and what option you choose when they enter elementary-school age.
Our take: The spacing of our children makes this not as burdensome as it could be. June will move on to public school kindergarten shortly after Annie is born, but we’ll replace the cost of her preschool with a higher rate to send an infant to daycare (in our area, this ranges from about $1,300-$1,600 per month, which is about twice what we pay for June’s preschool as a five-year-old).
Bottom line: Our childcare costs will go up slightly in 2022, but we will never need to pay three childcare costs at the same time. That would require a much bigger adjustment to the budget.
Update two years in: We made it through the most expensive year! Annie has now joined Shep at their Montessori preschool, where her tuition is less than we paid at daycare.Yes, we will be paying childcare for more years than we would have if we had stopped at two, but our budget is used to it at this point and so it doesn’t really require any additional rejiggering.
Gear
Some good news! By the time most people get to their third child, they have all of the basics covered: cribs, car seats, toys, high chairs, etc. Of course, some items may be a bit worn at this point and need replacing, but for the most part, for most people, this category should not need to add much to the budget.
Our take: This jives with our experience! We will be reusing our crib, crib mattress, car seats, stroller, travel bassinet, and more. The bigger items on our list: a stroller fan (our first one died and it’s a must for a summer baby!), a few more silicone bibs (many of ours have ripped or cracked at this point), Kiinde pouches (they’re one-time use), another hooded towel, another sound machine, and a new trike. (Our two older kids used and loved the same one that was handed down from a neighbor, but the wheel constantly comes off its track and considering how much we’ve used our first one, it would be well worth the purchase!) We’ll also buy new sheets, a muslin lovey, a few stuffed animals, and a nap quilt – sweet things chosen just for this baby girl.
Bottom line: We expect our expenses to be minimal in this category, especially because I’ll look to buy whatever possible secondhand if we don’t receive it as a gift. (I’m planning a gear redux post sometime soon, going into more detail over what we plan to reuse or try new this time around, so stay tuned for that.)
Update two years in: We had to replace our infant car seat because our original had expired, but otherwise this tracks! We were grateful to receive several of the items I listed above as gifts, so the only significant cost was the Kiinde pouches for a year of breastfeeding and pumping. Also, I did manage to write part one of that gear redux post – part two coming soon :)
Clothing
Though this is a category in which it’s easy to get carried away, the good news is that between hand-me-downs, Buy Nothing groups, and consignment sales/stores, it’s also easy to keep your costs relatively low! Of course, if your third child is the same gender as one of your first two kids, this becomes even easier (though clothes do wear out, and more frequently as kids get older – I’ve retired hardly any of June’s leggings this year, as it seems they all have massive holes in the knees!)
Our take: I cannot WAIT to see baby sister in some of our favorite June hand-me-downs!! One of the best parts about having another girl, in my opinion! Between all the clothing I’ve saved from June’s wardrobe and my sister-in-law generously sending along bags of goodies from her two summer-birthday girls, there is nothing we need to buy for at least the first two years. Yahoo! Of course, I’m sure I’ll buy a few pieces here and there just for fun, and certainly more as she gets older and more aware/independent.
Bottom line: Negligible cost at first; will need to build more room into the budget as she gets older and we’re generally clothing three kids instead of two. But again, I cannot emphasize enough the power of buying secondhand!! It’s like magic.
Update two years in: Yep! I can probably count on two hands the number of (secondhand) clothing items I’ve bought for Annie so far, and though it’s hard to resist the cuteness, seeing her in my favorite June pieces helps to scratch the itch :)
Diapers and Wipes
As these are consumable items, you can expect to pay roughly what you paid for any other child – it doesn’t matter if it’s your first or fifth. (Cloth diapers, of course, would be a different story and certainly an opportunity for cost savings over multiple children!)
Bottom line: Yep, these will need to be factored into the budget. However, it’s nice that June is completely out of diapers and pull-ups and Shep is only wearing nighttime pull-ups at this point!
Update two years in: No surprises here! Again, I’m thankful the spacing of our kids allowed for more breathing room in this budget category.
Ongoing Activities
Looking a little farther down the road, a third child does mean we’ll need to increase our budget for the routine costs and “fun” expenses associated with kids – birthday and Christmas presents, sports equipment and class fees, summer camps, tickets to events, expanding family museum memberships, adding an extra person to meals out and vacations, etc.
Bottom line: Yep! For us, this feels like one of the bigger factors when considering the financial implications of a third child. Yes, daycare costs might loom large immediately, but over the long run, this category will likely add up to much more. However, the nice thing is that it’s gradual, and most of it is discretionary – and as I mentioned, I don’t mind the idea that our kids might feel a little deprived at times :)
Update two years in: We haven’t really felt the impact of this yet, as Annie doesn’t do any activities outside of school and doesn’t even always order her own meal when we eat out. But I know it’s coming!
Long-Term Expenses
Our final budget category brings us farther into the future: we’re talking large, long-term expenses like paying for private schooling, college, cars, and weddings. There’s no doubt about it: these can be BIG expenses, and it’s straight-up addition that you’ll shell out more the more children you have.
Our take: While this category will likely represent the largest portion of the budget when all is said and done, it did not loom largest for us when we considered the financial implications of having a third child. Yes, that’s in part because many of these costs seem far away when you’re still pregnant. But it’s also because they are far away, and we’re optimistic enough to believe that our track record of saving, investing, and living below our means will get us where we need to go when the time comes.
These costs also don’t spook us because we believe there’s lots of room to be judicious with spending (and creative!) within these categories. A new car for each child at 16? Not likely – but maybe we’ll agree to match whatever they save for a car purchase. College? Yes, we’d love to help send them if they choose to go, but also know that there are GREAT and less-expensive options than a four-year liberal arts degree at a private school. A wedding? Well, you know that one is my weakness :) But just as we were creative with our own wedding expenses, we’ll be ready to get creative with theirs – and expect them to contribute, just as we did once upon a time.
Bottom line: These costs are big – yes. But to us, they’d never be the deciding factor in whether or not to add a third child to the fam. Many of the costs are gradual, can be delayed, or are simply optional.
Update two years in: Here, here! Knowing the total joy our third child has brought us, I’m glad this was (and is) our perspective :)And here’s the photographic (almost) two-year update below!
I hope this was helpful, friends! I would really love to hear your thoughts and perspectives in the comments. And of course, though I’ve tried to consider many factors, it should be said that my conclusions here are drawn from our experience with our particular three children. There are many scenarios in which the financial implications for a third child (or any child) could be wildly different – I’m thinking specifically about those who have a child with a disability or extraordinary health needs.
I am deep in the editing process for the second Annie in April video, and thought it might be fun to dive into a bit of a niche topic today: how to find the right song for a family video! I’ve heard from several of you over the years who’ve been inspired to try your hand at a family video, or even a series of videos, after seeing ours, and that just tickles me. It’s really not hard, and the reward is so sweet.
I’ve shared my step-by-step process for editing a family video before – and have edited more than a dozen yearly videos of our kids so far myself – but there’s one key step that still always feels like a big hurdle: choosing the perfect song. It feels daunting because the song sets the video’s tone; also, whatever I choose will become a part of our family’s shared history. I need something that captures the feel of the footage and the personality of our child in that particular season, something that won’t feel dated and that I won’t regret using in two years. It’s a tall order!
I’ve compiled a few best practices over the years for finding great songs for family videos and am happy to share them with you here, plus a list of the songs we’ve used so far for our videos and a few that I’ve already marked as potential songs for future videos.
Tips for Finding the Right Family Video Song
1. Keep a running list
If all goes according to plan, I will have created 54 yearly videos for our kids by the time all three reach 18 (!). That is A LOT of just-right songs to find! Therefore, I am always on the hunt for our next movie’s soundtrack. I use a Spotify playlist to store any and every potential song I come across, and I add to it regularly (it currently contains 114 songs).
Where do I find songs to add? Everywhere! My best sources are often songs that have already been used in videos: I’ve found great songs used in Reels, TV shows, movies, wedding films, and other family videos I’ve come across. It makes sense: someone else already thought the song had the right dynamic, atmospheric, pleasant qualities to carry a video, so it makes sense that I would, too.
Another surprising place I’ve found songs: stores! Their playlists tend to be upbeat with good movement, which is often what I’m looking for in our video songs. If I don’t know the song, I just use the Shazam app on my phone to get its info.
Now that I’ve been making and sharing videos for years, friends and family have also become good sources of songs! My sister actually suggested a song a few months ago that I already have slotted for Annie’s two-year video :)
Finally, one of my best sources of potential songs is Spotify itself – it’s one place where I don’t mind the algorithm figuring me out at all. In addition to my list of potential songs, I also have a playlist where I add each song I actually use in a video. These songs obviously share some characteristics (something attracted me to them, after all), and so they’re a great jumping off point for Spotify to make recommendations of other similar songs – which they do, right beneath the playlists themselves (just scroll down past your last song!).
2. Get clear on your goals.
Okay – thanks to your sleuthing and saving, you’ve got a trove of songs to choose from for your next video. As you narrow your options down to the one perfect song for this video, hone in on the feeling you want to create.
What will match the tone of the footage you’ve captured? What might fit the age, mood, and season of life your child is in? (Do you have a sweet baby, a silly toddler, or an active elementary schooler?) What do you hope to convey, capture, and remember from this time, and how can the beat, feel, and instrumentation of your video song choice augment this?
It might take some searching, but you’ll know the perfect choice when you hear it.
3 Double-check the fit.
Once I’ve zeroed in on my ideal song choice, I run it through a few filters before downloading it for the editing process. (I always buy my songs from iTunes.) My filters include:
Is it a male or female vocalist? The answer will influence the feel, and depending on whether the video is for our son or one of our daughters, this might matter to me.
Is it the right length? I aim for our yearly videos to be between 2:30 and 3:30. If a song is significantly longer, it’s often possible to fade it out once you’ve reached your desired length, but it’s something to consider.
Do the lyrics check out? Since I’m not commissioning a custom song, I expect that the lyrics will not perfectly match my child’s biography. However, if the lyrics are clearly talking about a boy when the video is for a girl, it might not be the right fit. Same goes for lyrics that involve a romantic relationship, and of course anything that might not be appropriate for a child – but those usually don’t make it past the second step.
What is the profile of the song? Is it really well-known? It is currently popular? Is it obscure? Is it a very specific genre? Is it an oldie? None of these are dealbreakers for me, but they are things I consider. I have to listen to the song many times over in the editing process and for years afterward, and I want to love it for a long time!
Great Songs for Family Videos
To get you started, I’ve compiled a list of all the past songs I’ve used for family videos (along with a few stories about how they crossed my path!).
Songs We’ve Already Used in Family Videos:
“(Love is Like a) Heat Wave” by Martha Reeves & The Vandellas | Baby girl, as seen here
“Porcelain Doll” by Chatham County Line | Baby girl (I knew as soon as I heard this song, several years before I had kids, that I’d want to use it in a video someday! It’s the very sweetest – and played by NC hometown heroes :))
“Come Go With Me” by The Del-Vikings | One-year-old boy, as seen here
“Little Bitty Pretty One” by Thurston Harris and The Sharps | One-year-old girl, as seen here (To me, this is about as perfect as a family video song gets – so spirited and fun.)
“Sugar Dumpling” by Sam Cooke | One-year-old girl (Lisa used this one in a Story for her sweet baby and I knew it would be perfect for Annie’s latest video!)
“Life is Rosy” by Jess Penner | Two-year-old girl, as seen here
“Comeback Kid (That’s My Dog)” by Brett Dennen | Two-year-old boy, as seen here (I found this song in an episode of the TV show Royal Pains :))
“Sunny Day” by Joy Williams | Three-year-old girl, as seen here (This sounds crazy, but I found this song on a billboard while driving through Nashville!)
“The Sound of Sunshine” by Michael Franti & Spearhead | Three-year-old boy, as seen here (I remember it took me SO LONG to settle on this song – I find it generally harder to find boy songs – but now it seems like an obvious and perfect choice.)
“Whole Wide World” by Mindy Gledhill | Four-year-old girl, as seen here
“Love You So” by The King Khan & BBQ Show | Four-year-old boy
“Count on Me” by Bruno Mars | Five-year-old girl, as seen here (June’s class sang this at her preschool graduation the year we filmed this video, so it seemed like an appropriate choice. It turned out to be quite challenging to edit to!)
“Something That I Want” by Grace Potter | Six-year-old girl (This is the song in the closing credits of Tangled; June and I both fell in love with it when it came on at the end of the movie.)
A Few Songs I’ve Bookmarked for Future Family Videos:
I can’t give away all my secrets, but here are a few I’ve bookmarked…
“American Girl” by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
“Better Place” by Rachel Platten
“Dance With Me Tonight” by Olly Murs
“Don’t Think Twice, It’s All Right” by Peter, Paul, and Mary
“Do You Believe in Magic?” by The Lovin’ Spoonful
“Easier and Harder” by William Prince
“5 Years Time” by Noah and the Whale
“Here Comes My Baby” by Cat Stevens
“How Long Will I Love You” by Jon Boden, Sam Sweeney, Ben Coleman
“I Make My Own Sunshine” by Alyssa Bonagura
“I’m Into Something Good” by The Bird and the Bee
“It’s a Lovely Day Today” by Ella Fitzgerald
“Just a Little While” by The 502s
“Let Her Dance” by The Bobby Fuller Four
“The Lotto” by Ingrid Michaelson and AJR
“Little Bit More” by Suriel Hess
“Little Bitta You” by Andrew & Polly
“Love You More” by Caspar Babypants
“Make Your Own Kind of Music” by Cass Elliot
“Mama’s Sunshine, Daddy’s Rain” by Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors
“Morningbird” by Forest Sun
“Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra
“Nobody But Me” by The Human Beinz
“She’s a Rainbow” by The Rolling Stones
“She Lit a Fire” by Lord Huron
“Summer Holiday” by Cliff Richard & The Shadows
“This Life” by Vampire Weekend
“Unconditional I (Lookout Kid)” by The Arcade Fire
“You Make Me Happy” by My Sun and Stars
As I said, I know this is a bit of a niche post, but I hope it might help a few of you with your future memory-keeping! :) Now back to iMovie editing…
If you feel like you’ve been seeing a lot of trip recap posts lately, you’re not wrong. As I mentioned, April was unusually full of travel for our family and, per my New Year’s resolution, you’re hearing about all the escapades tout de suite. I know localized travel posts aren’t everyone’s favorite, so I appreciate your graciousness. Hopefully, even if you never plan to visit where we’ve been, you’ll find something to take away from the details that you can transpose onto your own next destination – or something else entirely in your life!
Before we dive in, I also wanted to thank you for offering your generous thoughts on my recent survey. 75+ of you gave me much to consider. I’m still mulling over the next best step, but in the meantime, know your engagement here is very much appreciated. I was talking this week with a friend who works in marketing and with small businesses about the survey, and she was blown away by the number of responses I received. Knowing this community, I was grateful but not surprised. Thank you, thank you.
This particular trip was a fun and unique one. As many of you know, John and I are passionate about personal finance. We have had the gift of coming alongside my younger sister over the last few years as she has worked to pay off her undergraduate and graduate student loans. The three of us would meet a few times a year to review her net worth (just a fancy term for a snapshot of your debts and assets), talk through her budget, check in on her payoff plan progress, and talk through any big-picture financial questions on her mind. And, of course, to cheer her on! Debt freedom can take years to achieve, and it’s good to have cheerleaders in your corner :)
We have been so proud of her all along the way, and several years ago, we told her that when she paid off the last loan, we’d go on a trip to celebrate. Last fall, we were thrilled to get the green light when she sent in her last payment.
We considered all sorts of options for our celebratory trip (including Europe!), but ultimately decided on a weekend visit to the Biltmore in Asheville, which is halfway between our home in Raleigh and Kim’s in Nashville. We chose a spring weekend when June had a Friday teacher workday for the occasion.
Why the Biltmore? Though Asheville is perfectly situated for our purposes, we’ve all been several times, and so we were looking for something that would distinguish this trip. (Remember, novelty fuels memory!) The Biltmore itself feels set-apart and somewhat extravagant, and we knew staying on the grounds would feel like a unique and special experience.
We chose to stay at the Village Hotel on the Biltmore Estate, the less formal and less expensive counterpart to their other hotel, the Inn. We booked two hotel rooms, and they ended up being right around the corner from each other on the same floor (which made post-kid-bedtime socializing easier).
Let’s back up, though, to before our arrival at the Biltmore. The plan was to meet in Asheville for lunch, and though the Raleigh crew arrived on time, Kim’s arrival was snarled by a huge traffic back-up. It all worked out, though – we enjoyed an appetizer of chips, salsa, and queso at White Duck and a walk along the French Broad River before meeting up at Baby Bull for a late lunch.
Immediately after driving onto the property we headed to the Bike Barn to rent a bike for Kim. (We had brought bikes for our family as well as our Bee.) We pedaled for about an hour in a mini peloton along the French Broad River under a perfectly blue sky – pure delight.
(Observant readers may notice that June has graduated to a Priority Start 20″ bike while Shep is riding her original Start 16″. We continue to be so, so happy with them!)
The path takes you to one of the prettiest views on the property: the Biltmore House up on the hillside, reflected in the lagoon below.
We checked into our rooms and walked downstairs for an early dinner reservation on the patio at Village Social. Our waitress was wonderful, but sadly the food and drinks were just so-so – which surprised me. (I actually sent my cocktail back, which I rarely do, because it was pretty flavorless.)
Dessert made up for it, though! We hiked up the path from Antler Hill Village to the Inn for complimentary s’mores around the fire pit at dusk. Perched at the top of the hill were the cutest s’mores kits, a strolling banjo player, and a tree swing.
Bedtime that evening was less restful :) Annie (21 months) chose this weekend to unveil her newest skill: escaping over the top of the pack and play. After about an hour of wrestling her back into bed, attempting to settle her into alternative locations, and listening to her distribute belongings beside each sleeping family member (“dis Sheppie’s, dis Mama’s”), I finally laid down on the floor next to the pack and play to keep her corralled until she fell asleep. Whew.
The next morning we headed downstairs for breakfast at Village Social, which received thumbs up all around (my blueberry pancakes were delicious). Fortified, we drove to the lagoon, parked our car, and walked up the hill to Biltmore House itself. The one-mile walk through pastureland is beautiful (we saw wild turkeys!), but for little legs, keep in mind it is mostly uphill.
We entered the grounds through the gardens, where everyone was wowed by the conservatory (built in 1895!). The lush, tropical plants are packed in and stunning, and there was even a cellist playing under the peaked glass roof that afternoon. It was beautiful – I felt like a true guest of the Vanderbilts :)
We walked up to the main house and ate a quick lunch in the Stable Cafe courtyard. It had turned gray and chilly at this point and we had somewhere to be, so we headed back down the hill promptly after eating.
Next up was one of the more exciting surprises for Kim: a trail ride! She and I grew up riding at our aunt’s horse farm, and I knew this would be a meaningful detail for her. The kids got to pet the horses before John took them back to the hotel for naps and quiet time while the two of us headed out on the trail.
It was a quiet, meandering ride out onto a ridge with a beautiful view of Biltmore House and then winding back to the barn through pretty woods. Thankfully, the sun had come back out at this point!
We reunited post-ride only to split up again: Shep wanted to go on another bike ride, so John and I took him and Annie while Kim and June had some aunt-niece time at the Antler Hill barnyard. (We had fun, but I think they got the better end of the deal: they watched a sheepdog herding exhibition and got to hold baby chicks!).
Dinner that night was at Cedric’s Tavern in Antler Hill Village, which was better than the previous night but still fell slightly below my expectations. We followed it up with ice cream from the Creamery (yum, obviously).
The kids were desperate to swim in the hotel pool despite the chilly spring temps. John and I both got in, as well, but even though the pool was “heated,” our lips took on a blue tinge after about ten minutes :)
After a less-eventful bedtime (lying on the floor next to the pack and play from the start worked like a charm), the grown-ups played cards and chatted in Kim’s room until it was time for us to turn in, too.
We went our separate ways mid-morning on Sunday, but not before another breakfast at Village Social and a last visit to the farmyard to peek at the baby chicks and goats. 3.5 hours later we were home, grateful to have gotten to celebrate such a huge milestone in a fun way. (Cheers to you, Kim!! We are so proud of you!)
Thanks for letting me share a bit about our adventures, friends! It’s always a joy.
Happy May, friends! I’m hoping you might be willing to help me with something as we open up a new month: I have reserved a space on Substack and would love your thoughts on how I might best put it to use.
In case you’re not familiar with it, Substack is a “subscription network” for creators – mainly writers – to share their work. “While social networks are associated with advertising and attention,” the founders write, “subscription networks are about direct payments and trust. While social networks facilitate shallow connections, subscription networks foster deep relationships.”
Here’s a bit more:
Heady stuff, and right up my alley :) As a writer, Substack seems like a natural place for me to have a presence, especially as it becomes less appealing to spend time on social media and writing is my preferred mode of sharing, anyway. Many writers whose work and perspectives I appreciate, like Emily Oster, Bari Weiss, Claire Swinarski, Elizabeth Holmes, Anne Helen Peterson, and The Dispatch have already found a home here.
Colliding with these thoughts is the fact that my current newsletter platform is now charging a fee to send my “new post” newsletter. As I’ve written before, I don’t need to earn my living on Em for Marvelous, but I’d prefer to not pay for the privilege, either.
I’m not about to abandon this space, though (14 years and counting!), and Substack is not particularly well-suited to image-rich posts (as some of mine are). So: most posts will stay here, and a new newsletter will live on Substack. This will allow me to: 1) easily share new posts with you, 2) provide additional content to those who choose to support what I do here, and 3) allow us all to play with what a promising spot on the internet has to offer. I think it could be fun!
But I’d love to hear what sounds fun to you, and what might add value to your life. So, if you’d like, please consider taking a short survey on the possibilities. I look forward to hearing what you think! If you have any questions, feel free to drop them in the comments.
The only other thing of note I wanted to share as we start this month is that John and I are experimenting with a digital detox for the next few weeks! As you know, we are generally about moderation in most things, including social media and screen time, but a pastor we admire is leading his congregation through a thoughtful fast for the next four weeks and we thought we’d give it a try. Perhaps I’ll report back at the beginning of June if there’s interest :)
On my calendar this month: — June and I have our mother-daughter sleepaway camp weekend! I am nervous but excited. — We are also camping for one night with our church small group – we’ll be 13 adults and 11 children (!). Though we’ve camped many times with the Rays, adventuring with such a big group will be a whole new experience. — June’s school is celebrating Teacher Appreciation Week this week! We’re following the PTA’s theme days (write a note on Tuesday, wear your teacher’s favorite color on Friday, etc.) and for a bigger gift, we chose a gift card to Fleet Feet, a local store, since her teacher is an avid runner.
What I’m loving right now: — Both of the books I’ve read by Justin Whitmel Earley have been slam dunks, so I was excited to hear about his new book, Made for People. I preordered it, which is rare for me, and am looking forward to seeing it arrive on my doorstep in August. — I found George Packer’s Opening Argument in the April Atlantic to be thought-provoking and clarifying. “The project of the guides is utopian, but they’re a symptom of deep pessimism. They belong to a fractured culture in which symbolic gestures are preferable to concrete actions, argument is no longer desirable, each viewpoint has its own impenetrable dialect, and only the most fluent insiders possess the power to say what is real.” — “I Thank God” by Maverick City is a real bop. I recommend a listen first thing in the morning to start your day off right.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What I read in April: — The Flatshare | My mom and sister both loved this book (a debut novel) and I was happy to pick it up, too! The concept is clever – two roommates who never see each other because one works a night shift, and slowly get to know each other via post-it notes and observing each other’s belongings in the apartment. The female narrator, Tiffy, never quite crystallized as a character for me, but it was a feel-good story and I’d recommend it. (The 56k+ positive reviews aren’t wrong.) — Remarkably Bright Creatures | People are rapturous about this book (also a debut novel!), so my expectations were high. I enjoyed it, but I think I’d give it 4 stars instead of 5. The characters are a little hard to love, and there was kind of an unexpected amount of swearing in it? I did enjoy how the story unfolded and overall would recommend this one, too. — Marriage Portrait | I’d give this one the highest rating of the bunch this month, though I will say it’s probably not for everyone. The writing is exquisite; description is very much emphasized over action. I loved the concept – the novel is inspired by a scrap of historical record about a young Italian duchess who dies just a year after her wedding – and was impressed by how cleverly the author fills out the scant details into a full novel. One of the best parts: the ending was satisfying and unexpected. In another interesting twist, the actual marriage portrait of the main character, whose creation is detailed in the book, is displayed at the NC Art Museum in Raleigh. I think I’m going to take a little field trip to see it on a day off this month :) — Hunt, Gather, Parent | I’m rereading this parenting book so I can finally write a post on it! It’s as good as I remembered from my 2022 read.
My reading list for 2023 is moving right along!I’ve read nine so far and am in the middle of two more.
Revisiting my April goals: Organize our master bath cabinets Paint our master bath cabinets (I decided to table this one until June, as it’s a hands-on project I can tackle once summer break hits and June and I are hanging out more often during the day.) Complete 2008-2009 in the EFM book Plan well for our Asheville trip (Yes, it was wonderful! Report coming soon.) Send invites for the book swap Finish the Best of EFM page Film Annie in April
May goals: — Edit Annie in April — Organize our master bath cabinets — Organize our loft — Send invites for the book swap
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
As I suspected, April was a doozy (so much travel!), so this month I’m re-upping on several goals that I did not complete. Looking forward to seeing what I can check off on a second pass :)
