This series is not a blanket defense of public schools, and it is not trying to convince anyone to send their kids to public school.
This series is not a debate. I’m not going to square a family who homeschools against a family who public schools, or a family who had a positive experience of public school versus one who had a negative experience.
This series is not making the argument that every public school is right for every Christian family.
This series is not addressing the negative effects Christians can have on public schools.
This series is not meant to be representative of every type of family or every type of public school.
This series is not a commitment that my family will always attend public school.
Okay, then, what is this series?
On the internet, we hear a lot from Christian families who have chosen to homeschool. We hear a lot from secular families who have chosen public school. We hear from Christian families who have chosen private Christian or classical school and secular families who have chosen private secular school.
Too often, these internet voices – especially the first two – are strident and black-and-white, focused on cementing their choice as the best option and painting any other choice as lesser, wrong, or – in some cases – dangerous or irresponsible. (It is worth noting that the real-life voices I hear, across the scholastic board, are almost-uniformly more humble and gracious.)
In this series, I hope to give voice to committed Christian families who have made the decision to attend public school and who have had a largely-positive experience. If you’ve been around on the internet a bit, you know this is not a constituency we hear from much. That’s a shame, because we all benefit from having an accurate, well-rounded worldview instead of one that’s shaped by niche pockets of social media. I’ve asked several women I trust and know personally to share their perspective, and I will be sharing mine, as well.
What do I mean by committed Christian families? Generally, I mean families with parents whose Christian faith is central to their lives and who are actively seeking to help their children to trust God and follow Jesus. They buy into Justin Whitmel Earley’s conception of households as “schools of love, places where we have one vocation, one calling: to form all who live here into lovers of God and neighbor.” They agree with him in their desire to produce “something other than the typical anxiety-ridden, depression-prone, lonely, confused, and screen-addicted teenager” but instead form children in God’s love, who they can “train in meaningful relationships … teach the peace that comes with knowing the unconditional love of Jesus” … and ultimately “create homes that are missional lights in a dark world.”
What I hope readers will take away from this series:
If you’re a Christian who is considering public school for your kids or has kids in public school, I hope you leave encouraged by the possibilities, galvanized by the opportunity, and clear-eyed about the difficulties. I hope you feel fellowship with a vibrant, faithful cohort seeking redemption, especially if you’ve felt discouraged or uncertain over your choices.
If you’re a Christian who has chosen homeschool or private Christian school for your kids, I hope you come away with greater understanding of why other Christian families may choose differently. I hope you leave compelled to support those families and to remember that they are just as serious as you are in their desire to raise kids who trust God and follow Jesus. More generally, I hope you see the choice to send Christian kids to public school as an honorable one and not a lesser one, and to more readily turn away from media that stokes tribalism and fear. If you are already doing or feeling these things, that is wonderful :)
If you are not a Christian, I hope you take away a greater understanding of the perspectives, motivations, and priorities of your Christian neighbors, and that that understanding might lead to greater respect, for the good of every kid in our schools.
What will this series look like?
Over the last few weeks, I’ve interviewed six women I personally know and trust. They live in different parts of the country and have school-age kids who range from kindergartners to college freshmen. I asked them a series of questions, covering everything from why they’ve chosen public school and their favorite and most challenging parts to what faith formation looks like for their families. I’ll be presenting them to you in their own words – one woman per week – and I will wrap up the series by answering the same questions, as well.
I know this series is not everyone’s cup of tea. Perhaps it feels irrelevant to your life, you resent that I want to talk about it, or you wish that I would talk about it in a different way. Of course, you are more than welcome to skip these posts and stick around for the rest of the content you know and love, but I am deeply grateful for those who will choose to join for this conversation, no matter what your personal experience. It’s a topic I care about deeply and have thought about extensively, and that’s the kind of thing that I think is worth my time. I hope you feel the same way!
In the meantime, I’ll be back later this week with a completely unrelated topic :)
While it would be a delight to completely finish each monthly goal, it’s not always possible. Some goals I don’t even touch, while for others, I make progress, but don’t quite close the loop. Such was the case with an item from my July goals: tackling the master closet. I wrote in my August goal update that John and I made great progress but weren’t quite done, and though I didn’t officially list it as an August goal, I’m thrilled to say that this month we went through every shoe, hanging item of clothing, shelf, and drawer in our closet and bedroom. We kept only what we love and made sure it all has a neat and organized home (with the help of two of these to corral our drawers). What a sense of accomplishment!!
One other thing to mention here at the top: behind the scenes, I am preparing a new series for September and October. In the last two years, we’ve tackled blogging and working part-time as a mom when the leaves start to change – it seems fall brings with it the energy to dive into some meatier topics! This next topic is one I feel passionately about discussing and also that I know needs to be addressed with great care – because when it is talked about online, it’s generally in the most tribal and discouraging way. As I’ve been prepping, I have been continually thankful that you trust me to lead conversations like this. I do not take it for granted.
Something fun: in this series you will be hearing not just from me, but from a few trusted, real-life friends, as well. For those who were around for the popular Marvelous Mama series of a few years back, I hope this gets you excited :)
Because it’s always interesting and helpful to see your guesses, feel free to take a stab in the comments as to what our fall topic is this year! I hope to publish the first post on Tuesday.
This is not a glamorous picture, but I snapped it because it’s an accurate representation of what my quick + potent planning session looks like every Sunday. PowerSheets with monthly calendar, weekly notepad, laptop, blog planning clipboard, lots of markers :)
On my calendar: — Our anniversary trip to Charleston! It will be much shorter and simpler than last year’s ten-year celebration in Mexico, but we are SO looking forward to it. — Our annual camping trip with the Rays! We are headed to a lakeside campsite in Virginia and they are bringing their boat! — The first day of fall! We’ll bake apple cider scones for our family and June’s teachers, a tradition we started seven years ago.
What I’m loving right now: — Grab your tissues – “At the Table” by Josh Garrels is a beautiful tearjerker that will get you right in the feels if you’re a parent. Hurts so good. — This podcast episode is basically the story of my life. Like everything from Morgan Housel, it packs a punch in an efficient package – here, in less than 15 minutes. — June requested more daffodils and tulips in our yard, so I ordered this mix of butterfly daffodils and this mix of tulips. I love that they ship at the right time for planting in your garden zone!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
New segment alert! I thought it could be fun to highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Maybe this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in August: — As You Wish | Even though I would classify myself as just a fan (and not a super-fan) of The Princess Bride, this book was a delight! Written by the author who played Wesley, it includes tons of behind-the-scenes details from the making of the movie as well as commentary from the all-star cast. A fun summer read! — Raising Emotionally Strong Boys | I liked but did not love this book. While I adore David and Sissy, it didn’t feel like this book pulled out much more than they talk about in the RB&G podcast. — Red Rising | I first read this book in 2014, then again in 2017, but when my sister was reading it for the first time on vacation, I couldn’t resist pulling it back out. Described as a cross between The Hunger Games and Ender’s Game, it’s also wholly its own distinct world that will grip you from the start. — The Vanderbeekers and the Hidden Garden | June and I continue our parallel reading of this series :) Just the sweetest!
My reading list for 2023!I’m 19 / 24 so far for the year, which is officially more than I’ve ever completed in one of these challenges!!
Revisiting my August goals: Make plans for our anniversary trip to Charleston (We sadly didn’t get a reservation for FIG, but are otherwise set.) Clean out the art basket and clean off the top of my white dresser (Done! Just in time to start accumulating with the new school year :)) Buy bins for each kids’ mementos and artwork and sort items from the current joint box into them (Done! More details here.) Tackle the pantry Edit June in June, Volume 8
September goals: — Work out 3 hours each week (I just listened to this podcast episode and feel motivated to experiment this month… we’ll see how it goes!) — Tackle the garage — Film Sheptember — Make our 2015-2019 photo album — Write and design the Articles Club guide — Book a fall family photo session — Share the first half of the new blog series
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2023 goals!
Happy almost-fall, friends! Feel free to comment on the new series topic or anything else on your mind!
Today’s post is simple, but perhaps it will be for you what it was for me a few years ago: something that only seemed obvious in retrospect.
A few years ago, Annie was a newborn, Shep was in preschool, and June had just started kindergarten. I was fresh into the toting-three-kids-in-the-car phase of parenthood and realizing that I simply couldn’t carry the older two’s things in from the car as I had become accustomed to when I also needed to heft an infant carseat and my own things. And, once we got inside, I often needed to attend to the baby right away – so something that delayed the immediate cries for a snack would be helpful.
So, in the Montessori mindset of “don’t do for a child what she can do for herself,” we instituted what we call after-school jobs. We officially told the kids they were responsible for the following when we got home from school each day:
Collecting your things from the car and bringing them inside
Taking off your shoes and putting them in the shoe basket
Emptying your backpack, plugging in your school laptop, and putting your backpack in the closet
Putting any papers in the art basket or on the table for parents to see
Removing anything from your lunchbox (bento box, thermos, etc.), putting the dirty stuff in the sink, and putting your lunchbox in the pantry
Going to the bathroom (if needed!)
Washing your hands
When each step is complete, they can have a snack. For us, moving the snack to the final step in the process is a very simple and effective mechanism to make sure the jobs get completed with minimal reminders or whining. The expectation is clear. Rest assured, there is still at times both whining and reminders, but it is much easier for me to say, “did you do your jobs?” than to nag them repeatedly on individual items. Any sense of grievance seems to shift to the house policy rather than land on me as the enforcing individual, if that makes sense.
We don’t use cards or a chart to illustrate the steps; it’s really not that much and we just reminded them of the steps when we were getting started as needed.
Even Annie, at two, is a participant in certain steps. In fact, she’s often better than the older kids at immediately removing her shoes and putting them in the basket :) A great reminder that our kids are often more capable than we realize, and to continually be upgrading our expectations of them!
If you, too, find yourself with your hands full (physically or metaphorically), I hope this is a helpful glimpse into one family’s after-school routine! As always, let me know if you have any questions.
P.S. I would not consider these steps chores, per se, and in our family, they’re not connected to allowance. Allowance, is, in fact, a very new phenomenon in our household – we’re starting this week! – though an allowance, and all its pros and cons, has been on my mind for a while. (This is a perfect example of how I am prone to think perhaps a smidge too deeply about things.) June has been asking for one for months, so we’re making a first attempt. I will report back in a few weeks with how things have gone, if there’s interest, but in the meantime, I’d love to hear how allowance looks at your house, if you’d like to share!
We’re in the middle of what seems to be an unplanned mini-series right now – if I was savvier, I’d have called it something like “living with kids, simplified” :) I guess the back-to-school spirit is in the air!
In my last post, I mentioned that particularly prized pieces of artwork go on our kids’ bulletin boards. After it went live, I realized I haven’t shown you those bulletin boards! They’re simple, but they’ve been a bit of a missing puzzle piece for us, so I’m happy to share.
A few pain points were resolved in this space. First, pieces of artwork that needed a worthy display found a home. Second, our kids got a spot to customize on the first floor. And finally, we made good use of a previously-empty hallway.
I purchased three of these framed linen bulletin boards (the 20×30″ size) and hung them up in a row. They have the neutral, classic look I was hoping for (gotta let that colorful artwork shine!) and the price is great ($24 each (!!) at the time of this writing, marked down from their usual $60 (which is still a great price!)).
Just so you’re not surprised if you buy one, I’d say the surface is a bit harder than your typical cork, so I do need to help the kids push in the pins at this point.
Each child has free rein to decorate his or her board, and it’s fun to see their personalities come out to play. Shep pins things up with abandon, while June adds things very selectively. June’s board also houses her calendar, where she keeps track of her specials and other relevant information for her life. Annie’s gets additions from me and her siblings :) I appreciate that the bulletin boards are centrally located, but not facing into the main living space, which makes the free-rein-ness easy to grant, ha!
All in all, adding these kids’ bulletin boards was a super-simple project. It did exactly what I was hoping it would – give us an extra display space, and add a little colorful fun to the hallway – for minimal effort and expense. A back-to-school win!
Up next: the final post in this mini-series, on after-school jobs!
