Those of you who have been around for awhile may recall why this is a significant birthday for me: for many years, I’ve considered 36 my spirit age, or the age that I consistently feel on the inside, regardless of the number of years I’ve clocked around the sun.
Some people feel perpetually 25. I have a friend who swears she’s meant to be 72. But for me, whether I was logging a late-night shift at the library at 21, shopping for a wedding dress at 25, or struggling to learn the ropes of breastfeeding at 28, somehow I felt I was always on my way to this moment: that my life experiences, my gifts, my heart would most perfectly be used in this way – as a wife, a mom to three little ones, a daughter, a sister. A friend who tries to make sunshine for the ones she loves. A writer. A meal train queen. A school-trip chaperone. Settled in her career. Snug in a church she loves. 36 is more beautiful than I could ever have hoped for, and I am truly more grateful than I ever would have thought possible. Life feels more precious every year.
In some ways, it also feels more complex. For example, I come up short when I compare the neatness of my journey thus far to those of others’ whom I love. I am no more special than anyone else, did no more right or less wrong than anyone else. It is blessing, but undeserved. It is luck, undeserved. I write this with a lump in my throat for those of you reading who have reached a certain age and find yourself not where you thought you’d be. There are a million cruel (and a few delightful) ways for plans to be derailed in this life. I’m sure many are still lying in wait for me.
And I’m looking ahead now – for most of my life, I’ve looked ahead. But now, when I look up, there’s no threshold on the horizon. I seem to have arrived.
All that preparation? It was for this. The sacrifice, particularly financial? It was for this. Those wedding magazines I read before I was engaged, the parenting books I read before I had kids? They led me here. I have often felt like an old soul, often find myself the youngest person in a room. How will things shift as I move away from this apex (of sorts)? Where to next?
Onward —
of course. Don’t worry: I am too optimistic to sit in this space for long. I was clear-eyed about this season of life, and I think I can be clear-eyed about the seasons (so many!) to come. Just because I looked to 36 didn’t mean I thought it would be perfect or without difficulty, and it’s not and it isn’t. Cars need to get towed, children want snacks, I have a bad attitude, people I love get sick, the kitchen counter needs to be wiped again. Lord willing, I have a long and beautiful life ahead of me, and perfection and ease are not the goal.
But awareness is. Gratitude. Presence. Feeling at peace while the fleeting, heartbreaking beauty of this season grates against its grit.
Thank you, Lord, for 36 years. May they have reflected your love and light.
I mined my camera roll for these collages and included pretty much every photo of me from the last year – or at least a representative snap from each event. It’s sweet to see them all together.
If you’re not familiar with the history of Articles Club, you might be surprised to know how it started: with a gathering of a dozen or so strangers in my living room, united only by their love for reading interesting writing and discussing interesting ideas (and the fact that they read either my or Stephanie’s blog, ha). Over the last seven years, most of those strangers have moved on, replaced over time by a sturdier and sturdier group of acquaintances, then friends, then members of a group text (don’t laugh – the advent of the group text was a big moment in the friendship evolution!). We’ve welcomed babies, we’ve weathered a pandemic, and now – we’ve stayed in house together for the weekend.
It was, as you might imagine, a delight. I’d love to share a few details, if you’d like to see!
Thank you to many of the AC gals for sharing these photos! And if you’re wondering why Club is sometimes spelled Clurb, it is not a typo – just a bit of an inside joke :)
Planning a weekend retreat:
Articles Club currently has 12 members – that’s a lot of ladies (and husbands and kids and pets back home) to organize! So we started early. After casually discussing the idea of a weekend retreat for a few months, we polled the group in August to gauge availability of January and February weekends. (And I mean literally polled – we used Doodle.) We felt a winter getaway would be cheaper, easier to coordinate, and would give us something to look forward to after the holidays.
Once we had a weekend that worked with everyone’s schedule, we split up into committees. The committees were thus: Logistics, Activities, Food, Beverage, and Surprises & Swag.
Logistics researched rentals, booked the house and communicated with the owner, collected and distributed money, assigned rooms, spearheaded coordinating travel to the beach, and made sure we had the necessary household supplies, among other things.
Activities (this was my committee!) decided on the flow of the weekend and filled in the details. We also created a printed itinerary that we mailed to everyone’s home in the week leading up to the retreat – a very extra detail that got everyone excited.
Food decided how we would handle meals and created a SignUp Genius form to delegate responsibilities. (We teamed up in twos and threes, and each team was responsible for buying the groceries for and making one meal.) They also asked us each to bring a favorite snack for impromptu munching throughout the weekend.
Beverage prepared a cocktail and mocktail option for each dinner, and made sure we had other beverage options aplenty (coffee, tea, juice, etc.).
Surprises & Swag was our committee of Enneagram 7’s (and one 5 to keep them grounded, ha!) and boy did they go to town. They met in person MULTIPLE times in the months leading up to the retreat and dreamed up all sorts of goodies – and a surprise activity or two, as well.
Where we stayed:
We stayed in a beautiful rental home in Oak Island directly on the beach. It was about a 2.5 hour drive from the Triangle where we all live, and very affordable in the offseason – we each paid about $135 for our two nights. We arrived on Friday and departed on Sunday.
Our house had two kings, three queens, a bunk room, a double room, and a sofa bed. The Logistics Committee asked us each to send them any sleeping requests in advance (i.e. I don’t mind sharing a room, I’d rather have my own bed, I sleep with white noise, I wake up really early), and then assigned us to a room accordingly. I thought this was very thoughtful, and it worked out perfectly!
What we did at our girls’ weekend retreat:
Let’s get into it!
FRIDAY:
Our house was available at 4pm, but some gals arrived as early as noon to have lunch in Oak Island, walk the beach, and read on the deck as everyone trickled in over the next few hours. We had a very informal Trader Joe’s + Aldi’s cheese tasting as we arrived, unpacked, got settled, and admired the sunset.
We also listened to the playlist we’d compiled in advance – we all had contributed to a VERY eclectic mix that included everything from Third Eye Blind to Shania, Tracy Chapman, ABBA, Paul Simon, Lizzo, the Avett Brothers, and much, much more. It was a musical journey.
Once we were all gathered, the Surprises & Swag Committee presented their goods and wow did they go above and beyond. Following a classic camp theme, we each received a bandana embroidered with our name, a baseball hat with a custom patch, a customized sweatshirt, a custom sticker, and probably a few other items I’m forgetting. What a treat!!
Dinner was lasagna (prepared in advance and thrown in the oven upon arrival), garlic bread, and a yummy salad. As we wrapped up our meal, Stephanie and I handed out trivia sheets. We had asked everyone to send us three fun facts for a trivia game, and they did not disappoint. Facts included everything from “I totaled a driver’s ed car” to “I have a tooth in my neck” and “I’ve cashed a two-million-dollar check at the bank.” We contain multitudes, apparently :)
Finally, we ended the night with warm brownie sundaes and 7×7 PowerPoint presentations. Apparently popular on TikTok, the idea is that you use 7 minutes and 7 slides to present on a niche topic. Presentations included hosting tips, Articles Club superlatives, and movies that are better than the book.
SATURDAY:
Wakeup times varied, as did morning activities – some gals went for a walk on the beach, some ran, some read. We all had a delicious meal of breakfast casserole, cinnamon rolls, and fruit.
The rest of the day was a restful, delightful mix of crafting (valentines, friendship bracelets, and bedazzled sunglasses), chatting, walking on the beach, playing Dutch Blitz, reading, and napping. When lunch got slightly derailed due to a canceled late arrival (we love you, Pressley!!), we snacked on cornbread, hot pretzels, fruit, salad, and charcuterie. Our lighter lunch was just fine, because dinner was a taco fiesta, complete with margaritas.
After dinner, we were released to create togas out of the bedsheets we had been instructed to bring. With the help of a hilarious YouTube video, we did just that, and in no time were dressed and ready for – you guessed it – a murder mystery, masterminded by the S&S Committee. The fun didn’t stop there: we ended the night with warm chocolate chip cookies and a few rounds of Fish Bowl/Celebrity.
SUNDAY:
Breakfast on Sunday was a delicious eggs benedict casserole, leftover cinnamon rolls, and fruit. After lovely weather for most of the weekend, we cleaned up and packed out in the rain. Though it makes loading the car a bit more difficult, rain always seems like a fitting end to a beach trip, don’t you think?
Couldn’t have done it (and wouldn’t have wanted to do it) without my co-founder :)
How we handled expenses:
We polled the group anonymously early in the process to gauge whether people felt comfortable spending $25, $35, or $50 in addition to the cost of the house, which helped to create a budget for the committees that needed it. The Logistics Committee used the app Splitwise to handle payments – it allowed anyone who needed to to request payments from each member (payments could easily be completed in the app or by Venmo). Many individuals happily chipped in extra for some of their committee’s details, and everyone was responsible for groceries for a meal.
I know friend weekends are old hat for some of you, but this was the first one I’ve been a part of as a grown-up!From beginning to end, planning to departure, it was a delight. I hope this recap might help you plan a future weekend of your own, and if you have any questions, I’d be happy to help!
This is my tenth year-in-review post. My first came in 2012, which was certainly a good year to start: it was the year we were married, the official beginning of the life of our family. Each year together since has held its share of joys and pleasures, sadness and disappointments. Looking back in intentional ways – marking the time with reflections like these – has helped me to take what I can from each year, to appreciate what it had to offer, to learn what it had to give, to acknowledge the hard and appreciate the good.
I read recently that our lives are what we give our attention to. These posts are my way of giving a little attention to the year of my life I just lived. Thank you, as always, for indulging me!
We kicked off the year by celebrating our best six year old with a day trip to the beach – it’s not often we get to celebrate a January birthday with 70-degree weather! Annie tried solid food for the first time, we got enough snow to go sledding, and we persevered through ridiculously-low temps for an outside Articles Club in the midst of another COVID wave. On the blog, I shared my 2022 goals and reading list as well as our top ten meals of 2021, thanks to my record-keeping neuroses.
In February, the COVID wave crested in our house when our littlest brought it home from daycare and we all fell one by one. Thankfully, our cases were mild, but we suffered through the awful cascade all working parents know well, of sick kids and sick parents, and days missed from school and work. We did manage to make some cute valentines in the midst of it, though :)
March saw our triumphant return to Duke Gardens after COVID restrictions were lifted, and that visit was emblematic of spring springing as a whole: my camera roll shows lots of time outside this month! March was also the month I surprised John with tickets to see Nate Bargatze, a date night that tickled me to no end. On the blog, I shared about our first weekend away as a family of five (to Black Mountain!) and the other names we considered for our children (I think this post might win for most comments of the year!).
April was a delight, and many of its pleasures were captured in our first filming of Annie in April: strawberry picking, a return to Jekyll Island for spring break, seeing our beloved babysitter in her senior year musical, a spring flower party, celebrating Easter with our church. John also buzzed his hair for the first time and Cultivate’s acquisition talks began, both momentous in their own way.
In May we finally made good on two Christmas gifts: an overnight girls’ trip to the American Girl store in Charlotte, and a train trip to Durham! Annie was dedicated at our church, Shep had his first playdate ever with his very best friend, and – in less exciting news – the drive belt on our Telluride failed, kicking off a six-week period without our family car. On the blog, I shared six favorite parts of my evening routine.
Off to the mountains! We celebrated ten years of camping with the Rays in glamping style, a highlight of the year. I got to volunteer at June’s field day before wrapping up her first year (and beginning her first summer) of elementary school. Kristin and I assisted Lisa for the day at her big Maylis shoot and I spoke about “everyday magic” to a hundred local moms. We celebrated Juneteenth with a visit to Hammocks Beach State Park, a local treasure that had been on our NC bucket list since we moved here. And on the last day of the month, Cultivate officially changed hands.
July was bookended with trips: first to Michigan, with 33 Thomas family members and Annie’s first birthday, and then to Maine, with a Sunday service led by me. Both were as golden as always (it was nearly impossible to narrow down these photos). In between, we tucked in birthday peach cobbler for John, a camping-themed birthday party for Shep, and Cultivate’s biggest photo shoot of the year. Unsurprisingly with all that action, I eked out just two blog posts in addition to my monthly goals, including my mid-year goals review.
With the tail end of our trip to Maine and a week in Connecticut, my camera roll was almost entirely blue and green in August. Looking back on the photos, I can’t believe I didn’t name the week in Maine one of my favorite trips of the year – it was packed with such sweet memories. And Connecticut, with a visit to my family’s farm and a particularly memorable date night in Mystic, wasn’t far behind. We also bought paddle boards and took them for their inaugural spin before we celebrated the first day of school. In the midst of it all, this was by far my most challenging month at work as we weathered some of the rockiest aftermath of the acquisition. (I also transitioned to part-time, which was unrelated.)
On the blog, I shared my first year baby gear picks after three kids (I promise part two is coming in 2023!).
September! Work finally kicked off on our kitchen refresh (in the works since January!); the first phase happened while John and I were in Mexico (notBermuda). Our tenth-anniversary trip was a forever memory we are so grateful for. Around the edges, we moved things in and out of our kitchen cabinets and enjoyed a really awesome soccer season for the older kids. On the blog, I wrote about family movie night and how we handled summer as two working parents.
Sickness struck again in October, as June, I, and John fell in succession to the flu. Absolutely brutal. Thankfully, the two littles, who had already gotten their flu shots because of when their well-checks fell, stayed strong! (Let this be a lesson to us all to get our flu shots early and often ;)) On a positive note, our kitchen refresh crossed the finish line (praise!) and our mountain trip to Highlands was a delight. On the blog, I shared everything we read in Articles Club this year as well as part one of my working part-time series.
We celebrated a (chilly!) major milestone for our church in November; this felt like the sweetest cap to our first year in the community. We headed to Virginia for Thanksgiving with the whole Thomas crew for a turkey trot, lots of card games, and cousin time, then snagged our tree on the way home. A few days later, Annie and I spent much of the Duke Chorale Christmas concert outside, since she could not hang in an echo-y chapel :)
I ramped things up on the blog towards the end of the year, sharing parts two and three of my work series (part four was in December) and what to include in a college care package.
December, like much of this year, was full. Honestly, when I detailed month after month for this post, the pace felt somewhat relentless – I had several moments where I had to double-check dates to make sure all that I was describing actually happened in the same month. The most beautiful thing, though? The pace of our life almost never felt relentless in the moment. Usually, it felt rather slow, ordinary, and yes, full. For that, among so many other things, I am grateful.
Friends, I know I’ve said it before, but I am SO excited for what we’ll discuss here in 2023. Thank you for being here, and for sharing so generously with me! It’s one of the delights of my life. Wishing you a healthy, happy, and abundant new year. My 2023 goals are just about ready to share, so I’ll see you soon! :)
I hope you’ve all had wonderful holidays, friends! We are laying low after a stretch of extended family visits, and it has been sweet. I’m down to the wire to squeeze in the two final blog posts of 2022 – this one and tomorrow’s year-in-review – but I wouldn’t miss them. They help me count the fruit from another precious year, and that’s an opportunity I’ll fight for even in the midst of these full, chaotic, slow post-holiday days. I hope they can serve as an opportunity for a little reflection on your own 2022, if you haven’t had a chance for it yet! In the comments, please share a few of your best memories, finds, and favorites from 2022, if you’d like. As always, I can’t wait to hear!
Best adventure, travel, or trip: Our tenth-anniversary trip Mayakoba in Mexico is an obvious frontrunner here, but our Fourth of July week in Michigan was near perfect. We were so happy to be back after a five-year hiatus and to be with so much dear family. Just looking at the photos makes me grin. We also took an unexpected day trip to the North Carolina coast for June’s January birthday since it happened to be 70 degrees, and I feel like it’s a memory we’ll be talking about for years.
Best book: I read 21 books in 2022, a bit lower than my usual, and that included a higher percentage that I was ambivalent about and one I didn’t finish (rare for me!). Still, there were gems: Hunt, Gather, Parent and The Common Rule for nonfiction, and The Evening and the Morning for fiction (with an honorable mention for my favorite read-aloud with June, The Penderwicks!).
Best TV show: The second season of OMITB was as good as the first. (Steve Martin, I will never quit you.) We also thoroughly enjoyed The Mole, a delightful, clever reboot of the early-2000s cult classic. Severanceand Reacher get honorable mentions.
Best movie: After a movie-theater drought, John and I saw Top Gun: Maverick on opening night and it did not disappoint.
Best album, song, or artist: “King of Kings” and “All Glory Be to Christ” struck a chord with me this year in the way the best worship songs do. The Arcade Fire is inextricably twined into the narrative of John’s and my relationship (Funeral was the exclusive soundtrack of our first months of dating); their newest album We was on repeat after its May debut. And “Dance With Me Tonight” is just a fun bop that was my pick-me-up song this year.
Best new podcast listen, newsletter subscribe, or blog follow: I subscribed to Laura Wifler’s newsletter earlier this year, and it’s been a once-a-month delight ever since. Laura is the co-host of the Risen Motherhood podcast, and her newsletter is meaty and packed with things she’s learning about life and faith, book recommendations, and parenting insights. I also rediscovered Erin Loechner’s blog, Design for Mankind, and though she only posts a few times a year, it is worth it to me to subscribe to make sure they land in my inbox. Her writing is elegant, poignant, searing. I love it.
Best kiddo milestone: Annie walking and “talking” has been a delight. She loves to move purposefully around the house, her hands clasped behind her back, making earnest burbles and gestures to each of us, and it does not fail to crack me up.
Best faith grower: This one is probably obvious, but joining our church. It has stretched and grown and deepened our faith even as it has renewed our faith in the local institution of the church.
Best beauty purchase: I mix one drop of these tanning drops into my moisturizer every other night and love how they even out my skin (which can sometimes run a tad too rosy) without makeup.
Best friend memory: I’ll always remember our backyard “spring party” as a sweet turning point in our friendship with two dear preschool-friend families. There’s just something about inviting people into your space that deepens relationship.
Best new tradition: This is a nascent tradition, but I can already tell it has legs: Saturday board game nights. Now that family movie night is well established on Friday nights, we thought it might be time to introduce a second themed family evening. And you know I’ve been waiting for this one! Ocean BINGO has been our most successful game so far when we include our non-reader – the illustrations are beautiful, and it really is fun for everyone to play.
Best habit you created: This isn’t necessarily a new habit, but perhaps a renewed one. I had fallen out of the habit of biking with June to school, but with the start of her first-grade year, we picked it back up and it has been the sweetest bookend to our days. We biked well into November, and look forward to getting back at it once the temps rise a bit!
Favorite blog post written: This post with tips for the fourth trimester is dear to me, because it contains hard-earned wisdom I’ve been grateful to pass on to many friends offline, and am now glad to have it recorded here, too – and while it was fresh. Any time I’m able to capture my love and gratitude for John is a privilege. And this four-part series on working part-time as a mom helped me process a big transition in my life. I’m sure it’s a series I’ll be returning to for years to come.
Best life or mom hack: For years, I’ve used the monthly calendar in my PowerSheets as my sole planner. Our family’s life together is pretty simple, and, combined with my trusty Word to-do list, it got the job done. This fall, however, I’ve started to transfer the contents of each week to CWM’s weekly notepad on Sunday, and it has been so helpful to have more space to see each day’s happenings at a glance and to jot reminders and to dos in one central place as they pop up. I just wish the notepad included full columns for Saturday and Sunday but (spoiler alert!) the next version we print should include them!
Best mama moment: There were so many favorite moments, remarkable in their ordinariness and preciousness, but our girls’ trip to Charlotte and the American Girl store is a very sweet memory. I love spending time with our kids, and love seeing who they are becoming.
Best home improvement: Another obvious winner here: our kitchen refresh, which was a decade in the making and has transformed our entire downstairs. I am beyond grateful and still somewhat in shock that it’s complete. But if I could pick one small detail that has sparked a surprising amount of joy, it would be the wall clock we added in the midst of the renovation. I can see it from anywhere in the main room, and it has smoothed out a pain point I almost didn’t notice: having to reach for my phone whenever I wanted to check the time. Adding the clock has made it so that I can go phone-free more often, which I love.
Best little luxury you’ve enjoyed:Fairlife chocolate milk. John turned us onto it after reading that Katie Ledecky drinks chocolate milk in the cool-down pool after swimming a race, and so naturally we’ve adopted it as our post-Peloton reward of choice. Yes, I’m saying we’re basically the same as Katie Ledecky.
As always, I’m ending the year so grateful for the delights, big and small, that filled our year. I’ll be sharing more in my year-in-review post coming tomorrow, but in the meantime, please do share: what are some of your “bests” from 2022? Can’t wait to hear!
