John and I don’t go on a lot of dates, or we go on dates all the time — depends on how you figure it :) I generally don’t consider going on a hike, heading to a swimming hole, going to a concert or a movie, or even getting dressed up for a fancy dinner as a date. That all just seems like doing life with my husband. Maybe that’s what a date is when you’re married?? Anyway, we recently tried something new, and if you’re looking for a “date” idea, this might be it :)

Last weekend, we decided to do a dessert crawl in downtown Raleigh. We started at 5pm at our favorite patisserie, lucettegrace. Triangle friends, if you haven’t been here, absolutely put it on your list — SO GOOD. We split the Videri Chocolate Cream Pie (dark chocolate cremeux, almond shortbread, brown butter cocoa nib custard) the Blueberries + Cream (vanilla cheesecake, blueberry mousse, pistachio cake, almond cake, blueberry compote), and a citrus agua fresca.

We walked around the block a few times (June was in the stroller!) before heading to our next destination, Bittersweet. Their seasonal peach and blackberry cobbler (with pie crust “fries”!) was a delicious second course.

A few more laps, and we were ready for our last sweet of the evening, at Treat. They have a kiddie scoop that is practically thimble-sized, making it the perfect final stop on our sugar quest (though John opted for two scoops!!).

By 7pm, we were back in the car and headed home to tuck June into bed. Once she was asleep, we ate a small (healthy) dinner. The novelty of eating dessert first, combined with walking Raleigh’s summery streets, made for a fun evening out (and, no babysitter was required).

I’m curious: If you’re in a long-term relationship, what do you consider a “date”? Every fun activity? Maybe an activity that one person plans? Or one that simply has advance planning? Something expensive? Something fancy? I’d love to hear your criteria!

I’m working on June’s birth story, and it seems all other posts have gotten backed up while I work on that one. However, I couldn’t let the eleventh anniversary of my and John’s first date pass without a bit of notice. There’s just one thought I want to share at this juncture, and that is: for a happy life and marriage, marry the kind one.

The one who has never met a cat he doesn’t love, or a cat who doesn’t love him back. The one who will spend hours with your sister helping her set up a budget and cheering her on in her savings goals – and let her tag along on dates in high school. The one who records “I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad” on the guitar and sends it to his niece for her birthday. The one who walks through his day whistling, who hauls brush at your family’s cottage while on vacation without complaint. The one your parents love. The one who will be off like a rocket at your request for more water, apple juice, jello, popsicles while in the hospital. And the one who, as my friend Rhiannon said, will smile at you like you’re the most beautiful person in the world while you’re wearing mesh underwear and holding a crying baby at 4am a few hours after you give birth.

Yep, that’s the best advice I’ve got :)

Hello, friends! I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!

Yesterday we waved goodbye to John’s family after several days together at our home. When planning for this visit several months ago, I have to say, at the same time as I was completely gung-ho (I will almost NEVER say no to loved ones coming to visit us!) I was also a little nervous, because I didn’t know how tired I would be at 37 weeks pregnant or how eight adults and two littles would feel about sharing a house for several days. I’m happy to say, however, that despite the lack of sun (but with the bonus of balmy temperatures in the mid-70s!), our time together was really special. John and I loved seeing our niece and nephew, we loved getting outside every day (our crew walked eight miles on Sunday!!), and it was very sweet to have so much time to just chat with our wise siblings and siblings-in-law as we face down baby girl’s due date.

Clearly we need to clean our windows… but this one was too good not to share! Nephew was a big fan of Uncle John :)

I usually feel a bit blue after we say goodbye to family, but this week holds so much promise and potential that it’s hard to feel down. I have most of the week off work and am planning to use the time to 1) relax and 2) prepare for the new year. I’m excited to get ahead on an exciting EFM series that will be debuting soon, share where I am with goal setting, finish up a few projects for our girl’s room, and place a last big Amazon order for the supplies we want to have before she arrives. And best of all, tomorrow night John and I have reservations for our end-of-year celebration dinner!

This dinner is a fairly new tradition for us: we just started it last year, inspired by several couples we love. Everyone seems to have their own take on the concept, but we keep things fairly simple. We choose a restaurant with a quiet atmosphere that lends itself to a leisurely dinner. (Bonus points for choosing a spot you don’t go to often, so it feels like more of a special occasion!) You certainly could have your celebration dinner at home, but I find that it’s easier to concentrate, have a deeper conversation, and get into dreaming mode when I’m out of my normal environment.

We bring a notebook and a pen and a few questions to guide us as we reflect and look forward. A few we used last year or will be trying tomorrow:

— What did our family do well this year? What went well for us?
— Where did our family struggle this year? What went poorly for us?
— Where do we want to travel in 2016? We brainstorm possible locations, and start to plot out general months for each trip as we narrow things down.
— Where should we give this year’s charitable grant?
— What are our goals for 2016?
— What new things do we want to try, what adventures do we want to have, or what traditions do we want to continue or start next year?
— How will we define success next year?
— What about our life now do we most want to preserve and carry with us into the new year?

That last question has especially been on my mind and will be informing my goals in a big way with our girl due to arrive very soon. It’s good to have a few different questions, though, as you never know which will resonate and spark the most conversation! Some of these could easily keep us talking for an hour.

And that’s pretty much it! Nothing too complicated, but I think there’s something really important about setting aside time to cheer each other (and your union!) on, to mark progress, and to put the brakes on things that are frustrating you before they become problems.

Do you do your own version of an end-of-year celebration dinner? I’d love to hear!!

P.S. I plan to be back on the blog every day this week, with my PowerSheets progress tomorrow, my 2015 year in review on Thursday, and my 2016 inspiration board on Friday! 2016 goals will go up on Monday.

Friends, today is our third wedding anniversary! We had the most beautiful weather yesterday – crisp, clear, warm, blue skies, low 70’s – and it reminded me so strongly of the weather on September 15, 2012. You’d better believe I’m still grateful for that!

I challenged myself to include just one favorite photo in today’s post, and I did, even though it nearly killed me. Tanja Lippert is and will always be my hero — I think she is beyond compare in the realm of wedding photography. Having her by our side on that day is another thing for which I’m still grateful!

Earlier this year, to mark our ten year dativersary, I ruminated a bit on our ceremony reading from C.S. Lewis. I was just reading over the post where I shared all three of our readings again, and a different one is standing out to me at the moment — our reading from Colossians 3.

From where I’m sitting right now, these verses make my heart feel a bit swollen and my throat a bit lumpy. Put on compassion, kindness, lowliness, meekness, patience, love… forgive… let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… and be thankful. This is the reading our pastor chose to draw his message from, and in it, he told us that these words were telling us that we’d have to put on our “work clothes” every day of our marriage.

I have found that this is true – doing those things that Paul commands is not always easy, and sometimes requires work. But it is unlike any other work I’ve ever experienced. It is a JOY to do these paradoxical things, to make myself meek, to be kind, to forgive. It’s a joy because it’s in the service of one who always does the same for me. It’s still hard — my most basic instinct is always to care about myself above everyone else — but it is so sweet.

And I am so very, very thankful. (That part is easy.)

P.S. More wedding photos and a film here, two year anniversary post here, one year here.