I’m a guest on the Cultivate podcast episode that dropped yesterday. It was a good conversation, about helping kids to cultivate what matters, but what I wanted to draw out here was the tip I offered at the top of the episode, about kids’ shoes. Kids’ shoes can be a giant headache. Our family, however, has figured out some easy ways to calm the crazy, and I thought we could talk about them today – perhaps just in time to make a few changes before the beginning of the school year! :)
First and most importantly, our kids have very few pairs of shoes compared to what I perceive to be normal in other families. In fact, they pretty much have just two pairs of shoes each:
— One pair of Natives — One pair of sneakers
Let’s talk about this a bit more.
One pair of Native Jeffersons. While I thought Natives looked like something aliens would wear when I first saw them, I acclimated quickly, because there’s a lot to like about them. They’re sturdy, they can be worn in the water, they count as close-toed for school and other scenarios that require it. They can be worn to run and jump but also are just sleek enough to be worn for most middling formal occasions. They can be brightened up with a quick scrub with a Magic Eraser.
Living in North Carolina, our kids wear Natives almost year-round (though obviously, not in the height of winter). They wear them to church. They wear them to school. They wear them to play outside.
When they outgrow a pair, we order the next size up. Shep (5) almost exclusively gets the “Regatta” color. For June (7), I’ll choose 5-6 colors that appeal to me and that I think she’ll also like, and then let her make the final decision. (Because these are worn almost daily with all sorts of outfits, I don’t feel one bit bad about not letting her choose particularly loud or garish patterns.) Annie (2) has worn hand-me-downs so far :)
One pair of sneakers. Sneakers are worn for active play, gym day, in the winter, and pretty much whenever else they want. Because we don’t keep a pair of fashion sneakers as well as athletic sneakers, I try to choose a pair that appeals to me aesthetically while also fulfilling its athletic purpose – and I don’t mind spending more on these since we only have one pair at a time. With the ages of our kids, we’ve opted for velcro over laces so far.
Speaking of cute – do I think kids shoes are adorable? Yes.
Do I sometimes wish my kids had sliiiightly fancier shoes to wear with a dressier outfit? Yes.
But those are pretty much the only negatives I can think of, and they’re dwarfed by the benefits of streamlining our shoe life:
There are fewer shoes to research, purchase, keep track of, maintain, and store. (This all takes time!!)
Having fewer choices simplifies our mornings and every other time we need to get out the door.
There are very few power struggles over what shoes to wear when.
Everyone can put on their own shoes.
We spend less money.
Let’s talk about other shoes, though, since they do have a few additional pairs:
Rain boots | Since Natives can be worn in the water and our climate is warmer, I generally do not purchase rain boots. My sister generously passes pairs down, so we often have pairs the kids can wear if needed.
Snow boots | Same. We have some from my sister, but this is definitely not an item I would make sure my kids have a pair of at the beginning of each winter.
Fancy shoes | We buy these on an as-needed basis – they are not something we keep in stock for each kid at each size. If there’s an event (wedding, Christmas Eve, performance, dance, etc.) that requires it, then we buy in the size they need. Occasionally we get fancy hand-me-downs, too :)
Salt Water sandals | I used to buy each child a pair of these at the beginning of summer, but have gotten away from it because they just didn’t wear them enough to justify the price. I absolutely ADORE the look and we do still have several pairs that fit various people, but these are no longer an automatic buy.
All of these “extra” shoes are stored in June’s closet upstairs, ready to pull out as needed. This keeps them out of the flow of daily life, but accessible as needed.
So where are the rest of the shoes stored? Why, in the shoe basket, of course!
All of the kids’ current shoes are stored in a wire basket by our front door.
They’re right where we need them and it’s a super-easy storage system for the kids to follow (although somehow it still takes reminders to get them to follow it…). Socks for all three kids are stored in our bedroom, which is on the first floor and just around the corner from the front door. (Even if your bedroom is not on the first floor, I’d highly encourage you to find somewhere to store socks on the first floor. I can’t imagine having to send a kid upstairs every time they needed to put on socks!)
In closing, I’ll say that as much as I love this system and it’s working well for us now, I know it won’t work forever. Kids will grow, their shoes will get bigger, their needs might change, they might have more opinions about their footwear. This is the continual puzzle of family life – to be aware of when a system is no longer working, and to be willing to release it and find something new.
I would love to hear if there’s something you keep unusually simple in your family, or a storage hack you’d like to share with the group. I have another one coming up in my next post that several friends have adopted – I think it’s a good one :)
If you hang out in the same corner of the internet as me (and hi, if you’re reading this, you probably do) then you have certainly seen Habits of the Household recommended. I’m here to say it’s with good reason! With chapters covering Waking, Mealtime, Discipline, Screentime, Work, and more, this book is packed full of actionable and simple ideas for implementing purposeful family habits in even the smallest moments. After reading two of his books (and preordering the newest one!), Justin Whitmel Earley has earned his spot on my list of trusted authors and I am jazzed to discuss Habits of the Household today.
To keep things organized (because I could truly go on and on), I’m going to give you four reasons I loved this book, four takeaways, and three suggestions. Let’s go!
Four Reasons I Loved Habits of the Household
1. The writing. For me, Justin’s passionate yet elegant writing makes this book. He is earnest and genuine, and his heart for what could be a dry topic comes through so clearly. He wears the dual roles of relatable dad and thoughtful expert beautifully: with a wife, four young boys, and a full-time legal career, it’s clear he is living the struggles and triumphs right alongside his readers. This work matters to him – and he has so many anecdotes and experiments to share – because he’s in the thick of it, too.
2. The practicality. For as beautifully written of a book as this is, it is extremely practical. It’s also meticulously organized – easy to read and apply even as it packs in a ton of information and ideas. I love how the ten chapters move chronologically, covering habits from Waking to Bedtime. Each chapter offers thoughts on the significance, opportunities, and potential pitfalls of an aspect of the household, presents some ideas for character- and family-forming habits, and then neatly sums everything up at the end of the chapter with the main idea, key takeaways and images, things to try, sample scripts, potential boundaries or expectations, and further resources.
3. The reminder of grace. If you struggle with legalism (the idea that your good works alone can ingratiate you with Jesus), then you might approach a book about habits of faith with apprehension. Justin heads that off by including the above reminder in the summary of every single chapter, and I think it’s perfect in its concision and clarity. He’s relentless in his belief that good habits are worth developing and equally relentless in his insistence that they don’t replace relationship.
4. The epilogue. He really brings it home at the end, touching on several of my pet themes: time, intentionality, the big picture (the family-age chart exercise is eye-opening, isn’t it?). And then he goes and references one of my favorite lines of scripture in a passage I’ve highlighted and starred in my copy:
I love this. I love it. I love that he speaks to the weight of our role without weighing us down. I love that he takes our duties as parents seriously, but remains lighthearted. I love that he points to the finitude of time without panicking. And I love how he closed with memories of his dad, tying it all back to Jesus in the most beautiful, affecting way.
Four takeaways from Habits of the Household
This is a book I will be returning to over and over, and I imagine I’ll take away something new each time as our kids move through different stages. But here are four favorite takeaways I had on my first read-through: either new practices we implemented, or particular encouragements to keep on our current path.
1. WAKING | The waking chapter was one of my favorites, and resulted in two of my most tangible new habits: a short kneeling prayer at the side of my bed first thing in the morning (I literally roll out of bed onto my knees, ha) and the family blessing before leaving for school/preschool/work. When we were first establishing the habits, post-it notes on my bedside table and on the wall near our front door served as helpful cues.
My favorite part about the blessing is that – just as Justin says – it noticeably changes my heart posture towards the kids in the moments leading up to it. It’s hard to snap at someone to PUT ON THEIR SHOES when you know you’ll have to hold hands and pray together ten seconds later :)
2. SCREENTIME | This chapter did not disappoint – I was nodding along with every page. Though I loved his thoughts on curation and many of the habit suggestions (like watching through the end of the credits!), what stuck with me most was the idea that setting screen time and curation limits is a way for the parent to take on pain now so that their kids don’t have to later.
As a parent, it’s often much easier (in the moment) to allow more screen time. It is much harder to say no, to enforce limits, to create the conditions for solo or group play away from screens. “We aid our children’s formation in character, wisdom, emotional intelligence, and creativity,” Justin says, “by intervening as parents and taking the inconvenience of saying, ‘Yes, this is going to mean I get fewer breaks and have to be more involved and have to manage constant requests, but this is for their formation, which means it is a fight worth fighting well.” This chapter gave me words for and even ennobled what can feel like a never-ending slog.
3. WORK | I loved this chapter so very much – it had many echoes of Hunt, Gather, Parent, and bolstered my belief that kids would almost always prefer to be doing something alongside a parent, invited into their work, than shunted off to the side or occupied with an activity designed for kids. For Shep, especially, we have noticed that one of the best ways to deal with any miscreant behavior is to redirect it into helping us in some way – drawing him closer and putting him to work instead of sending him away.
This chapter also encouraged me to just talk about work more, especially at the dinner table. Just as we ask our kids about their days, we can tell them about ours and actually include some real details.
4. PLAY | The opening of this chapter is beautiful – all about the importance of a playful Christian imagination, how “in Christianity, you won’t get very far without a healthy imagination.” And that is not because the story of God is made up, but because it is so very real: “the world is so much more than meets the eye. This is the wisdom of all fairy tales and of any good kids’ movie – that things are more than they seem. Extraordinary things are patiently waiting, right here in this reality, to be discovered … Play is thus a way to reenchant a disenchanted world.”
This chapter had echoes of Sally Clarkson for me, and I loved it. It gave me encouragement to keep on the track we’re on, ensuring plenty of margin and scaffolding for imaginative play and curating life-giving imaginative stories.
Three Suggestions for Reading Habits of the Household
1. Start small | It’s hard for me to imagine someone having a complaint about this book, but if they did, I imagine it would be that there are too many good ideas to choose from and it feels overwhelming to know where to start. I suppose in some ways this didn’t seem like an obstacle to me, because I write about habit formation and goals as a career, but I also get it – there are a LOT of really great ideas packed in here!
The encouragement I’d give you is this (the same advice we liberally dole out at Cultivate and that Justin underlines, too): start small. Pick 1-3 things you’d like to try and just try them. If they stick? Great! If you find they’re not quite right for your family, that’s okay. Go back and pick something else. And once you’ve mastered those, you can move on to something else. This is a long game, and it’s okay to go slow.
2. Don’t worry about your kids’ reactions | Perhaps my children are just used to my *interesting* ideas and experiments when it comes to their household and routines, but in general, I think kids are extremely adaptable. They’ll accept most new things without batting an eye! And even if there’s initial skepticism or resistance, it’s okay! Keep going! They’ll adjust – they really will. I was a bit worried about how to introduce the morning blessing and whether our kids would think it was weird, but they just rolled with it.
3. Read with a friend | Earlier this year, a friend invited me to read Habits of the Household alongside her. I was flattered and excited, and immediately said yes – but I had no idea how good it was going to be. Our two-person book club has met several times over the last few months – usually while walking or bike riding – to discuss a handful of chapters at a time. We share our favorite parts, what stuck out to us, what felt hard to swallow. We talk about new things we’re trying and swap practices that have been successful in our families.
I cannot recommend this approach to the book more. It is GREAT accountability for actually implementing new things, it will be an encouragement to you in the good work you’re doing of leading and shaping your family, and it will absolutely bring you closer to your friend. Highly, highly recommend. Grateful for you, Elisha!!
Friends, we get to decide the culture in our homes, and that is a great responsibility and a great privilege. We can form our children in God’s love. We can train them in meaningful relationships. And, as Justin says, we can create homes that are missional lights in a dark world. Habits can help, and so can this book. If you decide to pick it up, I hope you really love it! And if you’ve already read it, I’d love to hear your favorite part!
Has it really been four years since I’ve written a post sharing June’s favorites?! Say it ain’t so! Unless I’m missing something in the archives, the last version was posted in 2019, when she turned three. (I also posted a few of Shep’s favorites at age 3, two years ago.) This post is clearly overdue, so let’s dive in.
Clothing and accessory favorites for 7-year-old girls:
Sneakers | We bought these Saucony sneaks for June for Christmas and were dismayed to see that they were falling apart by February – sad, because I love the look! We replaced them with these Adidas (different color pattern than above) in May and they still look brand new.
Needlepoint baseball hat | The cutest designs and perfect to pull on sunny walks and outdoor camp days.
Chino shorts and knit pull-on shorts | 90% of my kids’ clothes are hand-me-downs from my sister or consignment sale finds, but sometimes I need to supplement specific categories. We’ve been very happy with these two inexpensive shorts this summer!
Lake pajamas | Paying very little money for kids’ clothing means sometimes I treat myself to a splurge. Lake pajamas are $$$ but they’re oh so cute, very soft, and well made. I intentionally chose a striped pattern I can pass down through the kids (though the strawberries above are cute!).
Poodle purse | This sparkly accessory was tucked in June’s stocking last Christmas, and she has very much enjoyed toting it around ever since.
Natives | These are the stapliest of staples in our house. To help ensure a color we’ll both love, I choose 6-8 of the 60+ colors and June makes the final decision. She just selected this color for her most recent pair, which is really lovely in person.
Watch | This watch is easy for her to clip on her wrist and set. She mostly wears it after school when she goes out to play in the neighborhood; we can set a timer/alarm to signal when it’s time to come home.
Game and gear favorites for 7-year-old girls:
Backpack | As a native New Englander, there’s no other choice for a kids’ backpack than LL Bean. We bought her a teal one in this size at the beginning of kindergarten and it’s still going strong.
Books | All books all the time – I shared a bunch of kindergarten and first grade favorite series here!
Catan Junior and cribbage | These are two of June’s favorite games right now – she and I both learned to play cribbage this summer! :) If you’ve ever loved playing Catan, I’ll say they did a really great job adapting a pretty complicated game for younger players.
Doodle Crate | When we received a duplicate Kiwi Crate a few months ago, I found out that we had actually received every single crate in their inventory – so we switched over to the Doodle Crate, and June has loved it!
Hairbrush | I’ve found the “shine” version of the Wet Brush is the best for gently detangling!
Jesus Storybook Bible and Kaleidoscope books | While the JSB is still requested multiple times a week around here (I don’t think you can ever grow out of it!), we’ve also added a few volumes of Kaleidoscope books of the Bible as a bridge to a full-text Bible. We’ve been happy with them!
Piano keyboard and books | When June started piano lessons this spring, this is the keyboard and the books her teacher recommended.
Priority Start 20″ bike | We love, love, love, LOVE our Priority Start bikes! June started with the 16″ and now rides the 20″ to and from school each day (while the 16″ has been passed down to Shep). Both still look pristine and work perfectly! I have no doubt we’ll add a 24″ to the garage once Annie’s ready to ride and everything needs to be passed down.
Tennis dress and racquet | Tennis seems to be June’s sport of choice so far. She specifically requested a white tennis dress, which tickled me :)
Yoto player | The Yoto is still going strong! She often listens at quiet time while puttering around her room, and since the cards load on my phone, too, we regularly listen to them on road trips as a family.
Any elementary-school favorites or questions about this age? I’d love to hear!
If you have a voracious reader at home, you know at this age it can practically be a part-time job to keep him or her in books: chatting with friends about recommendations, scanning book lists, vetting new titles, making requests at the library (or sometimes putting in a materials request!), picking up holds, returning piles of completed books, oh my. It can be a lot to keep up with, but as a lifelong reader who hopes to kindle the same in her kids, it’s also a true joy.
To hopefully make one part of the process a bit easier for you, I present to you 12 book series for kindergartners and first graders that June has loved. (I’m planning to do another post in the future on her favorite individual books at this age, but series are an excellent time saver so we’re starting here!) Where I could, I’m sharing a picture of the interior pages – hopefully that will make it easier to see if a particular title is the right fit for your little reader.
KINDERGARTEN:
These are all series that June read independently and loved in kindergarten. She still reads and enjoys most of them now, having just completed first grade!
The Magic Treehouse series by Mary Pope Osborne | A brother-sister pair travel back in time to ancient Egypt, the Civil War, Pompeii, Imperial China, and just about everywhere else in time and space. This is apparently the number one bestselling chapter book series of all time, and with 38 titles to choose from, there’s lots to explore.
The Princess in Black series by Shannon and Dean Hale | Perfectly-pink Princess Magnolia has a secret, monster-defeating alter ego. Funny, action-packed, and with colorful illustrations throughout, there are 10 books to enjoy.
Magic Treehouse on the left and Princess in Black on the right
ThePuppy Place series by Ellen Miles | This was the first chapter book series June latched on to, and she’s read most of them (there are currently 67!). These are formulaic, a la The Babysitter’s Club of yore; in each book, a brother-sister pair foster a puppy and ultimately find it a home. Prepare to hear about lots of different dog breeds :)
The Adventures of Sophie Mouse series by Poppy Green | Sweet and gentle, Sophie Mouse is the perfect beginning chapter book series: big type, short chapters, and illustrations on almost every page. These are cheerful little stories about Sophie and her animal friends’ kindness and everyday adventures. 20 books in this one!
The Critter Club series by Callie Barkley | Another great beginning chapter book series (26 currently) that’s very similar to Sophie Mouse. Four friends have pet-centric adventures as they care for all kinds of animals. June blew through three of these in an hour last week.
Puppy Place on the left and Critter Club on the right
The Lighthouse Family series by Cynthia Rylant | In a lighthouse by the ocean, Seabold, a dog, and Pandora, a cat, live with their three little mice children. Most of the 8 books in this series by a Newberry Medalist author find the family helping some creature that’s washed ashore. Sweet, peaceful, and perfect for ocean lovers.
The Tales from Deckawoo Drive series by Kate DiCamillo | Fans of Mercy Watson (or illustrator Chris Van Dusen!) will love this funny and heartfelt spin-off series focusing on a different character on the street in each title. 7 books!
Boxcar Children on the left and Anne on the right
FIRST GRADE:
These are all books June read for the first time in first grade, but depending on your reader, some could definitely be good for a kindergartner (or a second grader!), too!
The Anne series by Kallie George | As an Anne with an E lover myself, I was delighted to see these charming early-reader adaptations. Plucking episodes from the original books and combining them with vintage-esque illustrations, they’re the perfect introduction to Green Gables and a great prelude to reading the real thing. There are five books in the series so far!
The Boxcar Children series by Gertrude Chandler | With 164 books to dive into, the original Boxcar Children books seemingly never end on the shelf. I adored these four siblings and their adventures when I was younger and love that June is enjoying them, too. Like many parents before me, I love that Henry, Jessie, Benny, and Violet show love, resourcefulness, and kindness as they work together and care for each other.
Heartwood Hotel on the left and Craftily Ever After on the right
The Craftily Ever After series by Martha Maker | A diverse cast of four friends crafts its way through elementary school while surmounting your typical 8-year-old challenges. The eight books in the series have lots of illustrations, easy-to-understand language, and sweet resolutions. Very similar to Critter Club!
The Heartwood Hotel series by Kallie George | If June was challenged to choose a favorite series from this list, I think it would be this one – there are four books so far, and she’s desperate for Kallie to write more. “Courage, kindness, and adventure abounds” in these books with details that delight (acorn souffles, moss-lined beds). These are a step up in difficulty from the early-reader picks but still very approachable.
The Missy Piggle-Wiggle series by Ann M. Martin | While June has panned the original Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books (for now!), she loves this spin-off series featuring her niece. Missy has inventive cures for all sorts of childhood misbehavior that had June laughing out loud. There are three books so far.
This should take care of your resident early-elementary-schooler’s summer reading, right? :) I’d love to hear what books the kids in your life are loving these days, or if you’re also a fan of any of the books I’ve rounded up here!
