The world would be a better place if everyone had a friend like Ginna. She’s kind, she’s wise, she’s generous, she’s humble. But perhaps my favorite thing about her is that she has this incredible gift of living in and ably navigating the real world, with all its brokenness and ugliness, while also faithfully looking toward the kingdom of God – and drawing the eyes of everyone around her to it, as well. I am easily a better friend, mom, wife, neighbor, and follower of Jesus because I get to walk alongside her.
Ginna has some powerful, wise words to share with us today. This is a lengthy post, and I hope it blesses you like it has me!
Just a note: if you haven’t read the intro post yet, start there!
Tell us about yourself and your family.
Hello, EFM readers! My name is Ginna and I live in Durham, NC, with my husband, two daughters, and dog. My oldest daughter is 7, in second grade, and my youngest is 6, in kindergarten. My husband is a software engineer and I run a bookkeeping company. You can find me @ginnaneel on Instagram. I know Emily through Articles Club and we have talked about this topic many times over delicious dinners!
Why are you choosing public school for your family?
The choice of where to send your children to school is really a pretty recent concept, since up until maybe 60 years ago, for most people, there was only one school choice based solely on your location. Now, there seem to be endless options! This can be helpful, especially if you need an alternative learning style for your child, but having so many options can also make the decision challenging.
As we were approaching the elementary years and having long (looong!) conversations about where to send our kids, we ultimately decided on public school.
I never felt called to homeschool, so we were left with the choices of private, charter, public, or moving to another district.
Historically, our county has a reputation for “bad schools.” In fact, just a mile away in Wake county, the same layout of our house would go for $50k+ more simply because it’s in a different school district.
When I asked around about the school we were assigned to, I heard a lot of, Oh I would never send my kid there… heard bad things… low-scoring school… kids from bad homes… etc. After pressing a little bit more, I learned quickly that the school was generally dismissed before taking a tour, trying it out, or hearing any first-hand experience from parents whose children had attended recently.
I finally got in touch with a friend of a friend who attended our church and sent their children to the school. She had nothing but amazing things to say about the teachers, the staff and her kids’ experience there.
Aside from a few personal reviews from other parents, the other reasons we chose our public school were:
1. The diversity of public school gives our children the opportunity to become friends with people who do not look like them or come from the same social-economic background.
2. Financially, it just made more sense to our budget.
3. We really wanted our children to be close to home and did not want to spend a lot of our time driving to/from school, like many of the charter schools would have required.
4. We knew that since they were not getting a Christian education at school, it would require my husband and I to be vigilant about instilling in our children a Christian worldview at home.
5. And finally, we believe that all children have the right to education, and feel that our educational system needs more believing Christians entering into it and not fleeing from it.
Now, this topic of school choice is a fiery one, and I totally get it! I still feel a lot of insecurity about our choice, even though it’s going well. I feel like each individual family needs to make their own decision on what is best for their child. I grew up going to a Christian private school and loved that experience! It was the coziest, loveliest school, and I have some of the best memories and friends from my time there. I also know so many friends who are homeschooling and doing it beautifully!
But ultimately, we decided to enter into public school and take it year by year, child by child.
What has been your experience with public school so far? Give us an overview.
We are starting our third year in public school and love it! My oldest entered in fall 2021 (bless those who sent their kindergarteners a year prior!) and last year my youngest and our former foster son were in the public pre-k program at the same school.
Academically – the reason they are there, after all! – it has been great. I am so impressed with all that they have learned so far. They both arrived at school after years of preschool and in some cases are more advanced academically than some of their peers, and the teachers do a great job of tailoring their work to their academic level so they are not bored.
We receive information from the teachers on a regular basis on their progress and behaviors. I have the personal cell phone for each of the teachers, receive updates and announcements through a private class app, and receive emails and phone calls for any county-wide or school announcements. Each quarter we have a check-in with the teacher on their progress, normally through phone, Zoom or in person.
Aside from academics, I think the key to a happy kid at school are good teachers and positive friendships, two things that are kind of outside of your control no matter the school. But so far we have had some amazing teachers and great peer friendships.
What has been one of your favorite parts about your school experience so far? Has anything been challenging?
The school community is great. Any time we’ve had a school-wide event, the staff, parents and students are all so friendly and I have gotten to know many of the other parents in our class through volunteering and chaperoning field trips. The cost is pretty sweet – you can’t beat free! And public schools are given a lot of state resources and programming that other schools are not afforded.
As for challenges, because it is a large county school, we have a lack of control over classroom or teacher choice, like you may in other schools. Because the system is large, sometimes making a change can be time consuming. For example, I tried to get my former foster care son occupational therapy at school, but due to the case load and some details needed by social services, it took longer than we’d like.
The only other challenge is that kids are assigned laptops to occasionally watch educational videos. I haven’t see any negative effects to them socially or academically, but it is certainly more screen time than they ever have at home (which is very minimal).
What do you wish other Christians knew about your life as a faithful family in public school? What might surprise people about your journey in public school so far?
Believe it or not, there are other Christians in public school! I think there is a Christian subculture misperception that public schools are full of evil, secular people, but that is not the case. I have met a handful of other parents and teachers who are Bible-believing, church-attending Christians.
Another surprise is that everyone seems to know my kids! I thought we would lose out on the coziness of a private school, but just the other day we had open house and so many teachers recognized my kids by name.
I was also delighted to find out how deeply these teachers love the kids. I’m sure that’s not the case for every teacher, but the ones we have go above and beyond to make sure their kids are happy, healthy, learning, and invested in their growth – not just academically, but also in their character. (Let’s push to increase teacher salaries, shall we? :))
What does faith formation look like for your family outside of or alongside school? How are you helping your kids to know and love God and their neighbors?
Because I know the kids are not getting a foundation of a Christian worldview in their school, it has really challenged me to step up our faith formation at home. This has been such a blessing!
We are not perfect at this, but our regular home life includes prayer before meals, reading Bible stories and books that share our faith, weekly church services, devotional journals, and they attend Awanas near our house for worship and bible memory. I try to reinforce that our faith is not just with our immediate family, but that there is a whole community of believers in our extended family, neighborhood, and city.
At the end of the day, though, I know more is caught than taught, and modeling the behavior I want them to emulate speaks more than any teaching I can do. This challenges me so much to model the values we believe to them – serving each other in our home, offering an apology and repentance when we fall short, and modeling what it looks like to be the hands and feet of Jesus to the least of us in our community through foster care.
What are your hopes for your kids and their education? What’s the best-case scenario?
My deepest desire is for my children to grow to love and serve God. My hope for their education is that they learn in a safe environment with teachers who inspire them, peers who bring them joy, and that they graduate high school as students with a strong foundation to enter adulthood with wisdom and discernment, ready and equipped to bring joy and healing to this broken world.
Do you plan to continue with public school indefinitely, do you plan to change course in the future, or do you hold it with open hands?
We are holding our kids and our decisions with open hands, trusting God will provide us with guidance along the way. As long as we feel like our kids are learning and safe, we will stay the course.
Anything else to add?
I want to encourage those who are in the middle of their decision-making to ask yourself whether you are making a decision out of prayer or out of fear.
The American Christian subculture has a strong bias against public school in favor of home school, private school, or some moderation between the two. If you are a Christian parent, then you no doubt have seen it, heard it, and probably believe it. (I certainly did!) The messaging is strongly encouraging parents to protect your child from the secular world’s evils and give your children a secured environment that not only teaches them academically, but also the foundation of God’s truth.
But this narrative, I believe, is actually bad theology on two fronts.
First, by this logic, we are telling ourselves and teaching our children that God is only God for the rich. Because to have a choice at all in education is a great privilege: only the privileged in time can have one parent home to homeschool, and only the privileged in money can pay to send their child to private school. And even though many middle class parents could probably decrease their lifestyle to afford such privileges, there are so many lower-income families working minimum-wage jobs who simply cannot, nor will ever, have any choice for education except public.
Secondly, if we think that in order to be a believing, God-fearing adult you must grow up in a fully-sheltered Christian environment, that is limiting God’s power. We are called to be good stewards in raising our children, but ultimately salvation belongs to the Lord.
So my encouragement to you, as believers in a world full of many messages, is to pray and use the Holy Spirit to be your guiding light when you make this decision, not what the latest podcast or Christian influencer is sharing. You are the very best parent for your child and are equipped with all you need. I switched preschools for my oldest a few years ago because I just had a feeling that I should. It didn’t really make a lot of sense! But I am glad that I went with my intuition and felt a great peace with that switch.
I hope this has been helpful! Please take my experience as one of very many out there. As a private school graduate (who adored the whole experience, truly), a friend to so many fabulous homeschooling moms, a neighbor to many charter school attendees, and a fellow public school parent in the trenches at the PTA meetings, I see you all and your hard work and love for your children. I pray that God will give each of us wisdom and strength as we parent this next generation. And thank you, Emily, for the chance to share my experience!
Ginna, you are a gift to me and to many! Thank you for taking the time to share your family and your thoughts with us – it truly means so much.
Friends, please feel free to respond to anything Ginna mentioned in your usual kind and thoughtful way. Grateful for you! Next week will be our final post in this series as I share my thoughts to wrap things up.
Much like Shelby, talking with Krystal at a work gathering earlier this year planted a seed for this series. She and her husband, Scott, both work alongside me, and they are kind, smart, funny, intentional – and exactly the kind of family you want in your village if you’re choosing a somewhat countercultural schooling route. I loved what she had to say below about finding friends you can trust to make schooling decisions with and walk alongside, and I’m glad we can do that in a small way for each other. I hope hearing from her family offers that encouragement to you, too!
Krystal, I’m honored to have you here – take it away!
Just a note: if you haven’t read the intro post yet, start there!
Tell us about yourself and your family.
My husband Scott and I just recently moved to the north Houston area of Texas with our two boys. Cal is in 4th grade and Judah is in 2nd. It is such a fun stage of life for our family and we are loving every minute of it!
Why are you choosing public school for your family?
We seek to make the best decisions for our family with the information that we currently have, including our school district, our financial means, and our kids’ educational needs. I abide by one of my friend’s education mottos: “Every child, every year.” Meaning, we evaluate the needs of our family each year. When we made a decision to send our kids to public school in kindergarten, we knew that they might graduate in a completely different school environment.
I have past teaching experience in almost every schooling environment: Christian, private, charter, and public schools. That has influenced our decision, as well, in recognizing that one truly isn’t better than the other—it all comes down to what is best for each family. Each type of schooling has its strengths and weaknesses. A particular school does not guarantee a particular outcome. Schooling is a personal decision based on your family’s needs, your individual child, and where you live.
If anyone is interested, I would highly recommend a Risen Motherhood podcast episode with guest Jen Wilkin about public school. Regardless of your school choice, Jen brings some great points as someone who made the decision to send her own children to public school. That whole series is great, as they talk about several different schooling choices!
What has been your experience with public school so far? Give us an overview.
So far, we have loved it! I have enjoyed getting to establish relationships with teachers and other parents. Though I work full time, I try to be involved to the best of my ability through sending school supplies, writing encouraging notes to teachers, going to events, etc. Right now, we are in a new school meeting new friends and family, and when we moved, we made the decision to live within walking distance of our school. We want to invest in our community, and that includes our school!
What has been one of your favorite parts about your school experience so far? Has anything been challenging?
My favorite part might also be one of the most challenging, which is having my children meet, interact with, and become friends with other kids who are very different from them. I want my kids to see experiences outside of their own, but it can also bring up some difficult conversations. I was very nervous for my kids to hear or see things that I couldn’t control, but over the years I have seen them become opportunities to enter into my kids’ lives as they share those things with me. I pray that they see our home as a safe place to be able to talk about whatever is going on in their lives or at school.
What do you wish other Christians knew about your life as a faithful family in public school? What might surprise people about your journey in public school so far?
As is the case with many families, we feel that we are sometimes labeled in extremes. For example, we are not sending our kids into the public school system so they can be little missionaries. Though we pray that they would have conversations about Jesus, they haven’t professed faith themselves. That is a lot of pressure to put on kids at this age.
On the flip side, we are also not handing our kids over to “the world.” Sadly I have talked with some people that believe we are not being faithful Christian parents because of our school choice. (Again, go check out Jen’s episode on Risen Motherhood! She covers this well.) I think we have to remember that many of us are in a place of privilege to even discuss school choice. Many do not have this option, let alone have a safe place for their children to attend school. We seek to trust the Lord with the decisions we make for our family, and we believe God is sovereign over the school, teachers, and classmates that our kids interact with.
What does faith formation look like for your family outside of or alongside school? How are you helping your kids to know and love God and their neighbors?
We try to incorporate spiritual formation in normal conversations in addition to more structured family discipleship rhythms. With our kids in public school, it has allowed discipleship to be a part of our everyday lives as we navigate situations they are experiencing with teachers or other kids. Being a part of a school that is (literally) in our backyard will hopefully create more opportunities to develop gospel relationships with families in our neighborhood!
What are your hopes for your kids and their education? What’s the best-case scenario?
For us, education is not ultimate in our family. Loving God and loving their neighbor is. We care deeply about education, but regardless of what schooling they receive, my hope is that as parents, we are involved in connecting what they are learning in school to the God of the universe. I think the best-case scenario is that they love to learn and read, and that Lord willing, they live out their faith as they mature.
Do you plan to continue with public school indefinitely, do you plan to change course in the future, or do you hold it with open hands?
It is definitely with open hands! I have friends who have kids in all different schooling environments and friends whose kids attend all different kinds of schools. And yet, each school reflects steps of faith for those families as they pursue the Lord in their decisions! It is very humbling and encouraging to know that we can make a different decision if it is needed. We have no idea what the Lord has in store for our kids. But we will revisit as needed. “Each year, each child.”
Anything else to add?
Remember that you are held accountable to the decisions that you make for your family, but you are not responsible for your friends’ or neighbors’ decisions. We can each focus on making sure we are walking in obedience for what the Lord has for our families—even if it looks different than the people around us.
Also, find friends that you can trust as you process schooling decisions for your family. It can be difficult navigating public school as a Christian family, so seek out ways to connect with other believers. It has been a huge encouragement for us to know that we are not alone!
Krystal, you are a gift to me and to many! Thank you for taking the time to share your family and your thoughts with us – it truly means so much.
Friends, please feel free to respond to anything Krystal mentioned in your usual kind and thoughtful way. Grateful for you! And just to orient you in this series, know that we have one more interview coming up next week (from my absolute GEM of a friend Ginna – you won’t want to miss it!) and then I’ll share my thoughts to wrap things up the following week.
When conceptualizing this series, I knew I wanted to include a family with older kids. For me, a public elementary school can feel a world apart from a public high school (or, to be fair, actually any high school), and so I was eager to include the perspective of a mom a little farther along.
Thankfully, I knew just the mom to ask. Amber is the kids director at our church, and she is one of the warmest, most welcoming people I know. She and her husband have three terrific kids, all of whom are in high school or college. She’s walked the public school walk for many years, and she graciously agreed to share a bit about the highs and lows with us.
Amber, I’m honored to have you here – take it away!
Just a note: if you haven’t read the intro post yet, start there!
Tell us about yourself and your family.
We have three kids. Our oldest girl is 18 – she just graduated from public high school and is starting her freshman year at NC State University. Our middle girl is 16 and in 11th grade, and our youngest boy is 14 and in 9th. We live in the Triangle of North Carolina. My husband is a creative director in a corporate marketing department and I work part time as the Kids and Families Director for our church.
We stay busy! Our girls have been in the marching band; our oldest is continuing that in college. They have also been involved in many theater productions, as well as chorus and concert band. Our son has run track, played basketball, done debate team, and will join a special technology and engineering academy at school this year.
Why are you choosing public school for your family?
When my oldest was starting kindergarten, we considered all schooling options: private, homeschool, charter, magnet, regular public, and more. While I saw the merit in each type of school, we really felt called to public. I remember specifically thinking: if Jesus were a parent on earth right now, he would be in the midst of the public schools. Not that I am REMOTELY like Jesus – but I want to be! I felt he wouldn’t place himself with his own immediate family or only with other believers – he would be “in the world.” I felt confident and secure that God was guiding our decision to go to public schools.
This is of course personal, but I also did not feel it would be a good use of our money to pay for school tuition for three kids over many years. When we first entered school in 2010, our county had great schools with a good reputation, and I had heard good things about the elementary school that we were zoned for. I felt comfortable sending our oldest there.
What has been your experience with public school so far? Give us an overview.
How much time do you have? Ha! Like anything in life, public school has its plusses and minuses.
I’m grateful that it seems my kids are able to learn everywhere. They do well in school, but they also did well during the COVID months when they were at home. However, I love public school for all the extra experiences it provides. My girls have thrived in marching band, and they could not get that at home or at many private schools. And for my youngest who loves all things STEM, our high school has extensive course options. It would be challenging to teach the subjects he loves and provide the robotics, design, and technology experiences he gets at school at home.
The hard part is likely not surprising: with older kids in the times we live in, it’s hard to feel that the non-educational things that are taught are out of our control. Of course, this depends a lot on the area of the country you live in, but in recent years, I’ve been more and more unhappy with this.
What has been one of your favorite parts about your school experience so far? Has anything been challenging?
I would say my favorite thing is the opportunity for my kids to interact with and become friends with diverse groups of people. Of course, that also has its challenges, as that diversity can be opposite of Christian beliefs. I am a relational person, so I also love the relationships I’ve made over the years.
What do you wish other Christians knew about your life as a faithful family in public school? What might surprise people about your journey in public school so far?
I wish we wouldn’t be so judgmental of each other. (I am convicted of this as well, so I’m also speaking for myself!)
I feel like people assume that public school is the easy, or even lazy, choice. No – for us, public school is hard. We are at the schools a lot – not just pouring into our own kids, but also kids we’ll never know. We take care of teachers and administrators. We give a lot of time and a lot of money to our community schools.
Additionally, I have been a part of prayer groups for all the years that my kids have been in school. Seeing God move through the prayers of public school moms has been such a blessing. Just this past week, we met and did a prayer walk around the high school, praying over specific buildings and gyms and athletic fields and parking lots and bus loops. If teachers or administrators passed by, we reached out and asked them how we could pray for them, and we prayed over those things on the spot.
This past year, we had a teacher email our group leader and ask if we were still meeting to pray because she could see the Lord working at our high school in so many ways. What a blessing to be making a difference in prayer – again, not just for my own kids, but for my community, as well!
What does faith formation look like for your family outside of or alongside school? How are you helping your kids to know and love God and their neighbors?
Now that my kids are older, I am hoping and praying that we are coming to a place of my kids starting to choose their faith because it is, in fact, what they want – that it is their faith, and not just their parent’s faith. And that they want to go to church and don’t just go because we are making them :)
My kids’ faith is tested, for sure, in the public schools. They won’t go to college and hear opposite faiths and beliefs for the first time. They’ve already heard it – daily! The blessing is that, when they hear things that are contrary to what they’ve heard in church and at home, they’re still under our roof and we can have talk through them together, as opposed to hearing opposing views for the first time in college when my husband and I would have much less influence. My kids have questions, and we have conversations constantly – the door is always open for discussion.
What are your hopes for your kids and their education? What’s the best-case scenario?
The best-case scenario is that they finish high school, go on to college or work or whatever is next for them, and find a relationship with Jesus that is their own – that they fall deeply in love with him out of the love he has for them. There’s nothing I desire more. Of course, I’d love for them to do well in school and all that. But ultimately, in my heart, that is secondary.
Do you plan to continue with public school indefinitely, do you plan to change course in the future, or do you hold it with open hands?
We’ll stick it out in public. We’re almost done, ha!
Amber, you are a gift to me and to many! Thank you for taking the time to share your family and your thoughts with us – it truly means so much.
Friends, please feel free to respond to anything Amber mentioned in your usual kind and thoughtful way. Grateful for you!
Just in time for us all to get back into cozy fall routines, I bring you another round of family movie night reviews! You can read more about how we do family movie night here, but the most important thing to know is that in our house, the parents choose the movies. The kids get to choose their shows during the week, and we relish getting to curate a family canon of our favorite classics and new hits on Friday.
A fun yet unrelated photo from our weekend in Charleston. I matched the decor :)
Onto the movies! Here’s what we watched last school year, when June was 6 and 7 and Shep was 4, as best as I can remember and roughly in order, with commentary along the way as needed.
The Little Mermaid
Beauty and the Beast (June thought it was scary – a theme continued from last year!)
Tangled (June, John, and I all cried at the end – really, really loved this one.)
Matilda (This was the 1996 version, a favorite from my childhood, and June absolutely looooved it. “Send Me On My Way” and “Little Bitty Pretty One” were frequent Spotify requests in the weeks after we watched!)
Inside Out (June and I cried again, ha!)
Paddington (I get that it’s meant to show character development over the course of the story, but I didn’t love how the kids behaved and the family treated each other at the beginning. Otherwise, sweet. I’ve heard the second one is better!)
The Princess and the Frog (There are some excellent songs in this one!)
Homeward Bound (A complete and total 90’s classic!)
The Grinch (original)
The Santa Clause (This is one of my very favorite Christmas movies from childhood. Be warned, however: June asked me some pointed questions about Santa in the aftermath and ultimately joined the “parent team,” if you will. I have complicated feelings about Santa as a grown-up and felt our parenting messaging on him was muddy at best, so ultimately this was fine, but rather stressful in the moment.)
Elf
The Jungle Book (This one was just kind of wonky? It was fine, not my favorite, but fine. I guess it just feels a little more tired than some other classics.)
Matilda the Musical (June loved this version even more than the original (though I still prefer the original!) Shep did not particularly enjoy this version; I do think we could have waited another year, because some parts seemed a bit stressful for June.)
Sing (This was fun! We laughed out loud :))
The Wizard of Oz (A classic for sure, albeit a little wacky.)
Sing 2 (Again, lots of laughter all around! The music is fantastic and the parents loved the pop culture references. June was a little scared of Crystal the wolf.)
Babe (Both kids definitely enjoyed this one, and particularly thought the singing mice were funny – ha!)
Mulan
Alice in Wonderland (A little too wacky for my taste, but the kids enjoyed it.)
Parent Trap (The original version – I love it so much.)
Lilo and Stitch
The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe (We watched after we read the book, and the kids loved it.)
The Parent Trap (The Lindsay Lohan version, an absolute treasure from my childhood. June now claims it as her favorite movie.)
June just happily noted that we’ll have to restart the cycle next year when Annie turns three and can join us for movie night. We’re all looking forward to it :)
I would love to hear: what movies have been hits at your house for movie night lately?
