Everyone’s favorite gift guide – what we’re actually giving our kids this Christmas! It’s been enjoyed since 2019, when we had a four-year-old girl and a one-year-old boy. Below, I’ve shared what each of our kiddos will be finding under the tree this year, along with a few suggestions I gave to relatives. I’ve also listed a few of the very favorite kid items we already own at the bottom if you’re looking for a few more suggestions!
First up, we’re giving a few family gifts this year. The kids will be receiving: — A Nugget play couch. A dear friend was gifted a gift card for a Nugget earlier this year, but since they already have several, she generously offered it to me (!!). I’d eyed them for years but hadn’t pulled the trigger. Instead of presenting such a momentous item to the kids on a random Tuesday, I’ve squirreled it away in a friend’s attic for the last few months and will go pick it up on Christmas Eve! :) — A copy of Little Pilgrim’s Progress. I have heard nothing but good things about this “lavishly illustrated” version and would love to kick off a family read-aloud by gifting a copy.
June (who is almost eight) will be receiving: — A ticket to The Lion King when it comes to the DPAC in the spring. She loves dressing up and going to shows and I know this will be thrilling! — A purple bed rest pillow and super-soft minky blanket. June is all about making cozy corners in her room where she can read for hours, so I know these will be well-loved. — A learn-to-knit kit. No yarn is safe in this house! She doesn’t know how to knit, but inspired (I think) by Hyacinth Vanderbeeker, she’s constantly pillaging my yarn and ribbon supply and coming up with braided creations.
June made an extensive wish list this year, so there were no shortage of gift options from which to select! I know relatives have already claimed a rainbow loom kit, a Squishmallow, a belt bag, and her American Girl doll’s dog. Other ideas from her list: a gift card to our local paint-your-own pottery place, No Stress Chess, a crochet kit, a tie-dye set, and the Land of Stories book set.
Shep (who is 5 1/2) will be receiving: — A ticket to The Lion King when it comes to the DPAC in June. This will be his first big show and I know he will be so excited! — A copy of The Wind in the Willows. He’s very into Frog and Toad, and I couldn’t resist when I saw this beautiful hardcover version at our local bookstore. — A fort builder set.Eep! I had two friends reach out and say this fort builder set was a bust at their houses – hard to put together for kids and hard to store. Bummer, because the reviews are great! We opted to return it and get a USA soccer jersey instead :) — A drum set. I didn’t really want to do it, but it’s stayed at the top of his list consistently and so we’re going to go for it. I like that this model has built-in speakers and a headphone jack.
Annie (who is 2 1/2) will be receiving: — A balance bike. We’ll pass down Shep’s, which has been waiting in the wings/attic for this moment. We’ve been really happy with this brand! — A jelly purse. I picked this up at my friend Maghon’s shop but it doesn’t look like she offers them online! Annie will love toting things around in this. — A wooden horse trailer. I snagged this at a consignment sale for $3 this fall and tucked it away – score. She’s into June’s horses, so I think she’ll enjoy loading them in and pushing them around. — The Brambly Hedge Complete Collection. She’s a tiny bit young for this gorgeously-illustrated classic, but I know we’ll love having it in the family collection!
As the third child and second girl, this gal needs almost nothing and is still young enough not to have much of an opinion! I have only a few suggestions for relatives, including Abbey Wedgeworth’s new board books,bongo drums (actually really proud of that one, ha! Will be perfect for family singalongs!), and a US map puzzle.
A FEW OF OUR TIME-TESTED, VERY FAVORITE TOYS AND GIFTS:
— A set of MagnaTiles, because yes, they’re as good as everyone says they are. Played with multiple times a week by all three kids. Definitely add the cars, and remember MagnaTiles and PicassoTiles are interchangeable! — A big box of colorful Duplos (also played with almost daily). — A wooden train track. We have a combo of the Hape and Ikea sets, which are interchangeable. — This ice cream play set, which has provided hours and hours of entertainment. FIVE STARS. — A Micro Kickboard scooter. These are hands-down the best scooters – we’ve gifted them to all of our kids around age 2, and 3-5 is the sweet spot. — An art case coloring set. One of Shep’s most beloved items, used daily! — A game you can play together: try Cover Your Assets, Ticket to Ride, or Sushi Go Party, all family favorites. (More ideas here!) — A Yoto, for a tech-free audio book player. The radio station is quite good, too! I’d recommend adding the Yoto Club subscription for a year to build up your card collection, and we also have the card binder. We’re all in, ha! — The cutest personalized notepads. BIG favorite with June. — A super hero cape and mask set. Honestly, relatively low-quality items but high-quality fun, ha! Our kids have gotten LOTS of enjoyment out of these for a few years now. — A Priority Start bike. June started with the 16″ at age 4 3/4, and graduated to the 20″ at age 6 (and passed the 16″ to Shep for his 4th birthday!). She’ll get the 24″ for her birthday in January so Shep can get the 20″ on his 6th birthday. These bikes are SO well-made and look good, too! :) — A photo memory game with all of the grandparents, cousins, and aunts and uncles. — Alice & Ames dresses, because they are the twirliest with the best patterns. — A Kiwi Co subscription or Highlights magazine subscription.
Whew! I hope that’s helpful! I’ve rounded up a bunch of ideas, but remember, kids don’t need much to be happy – in our family, we’ve actually found that too many gifts can be overwhelming and dull the whole experience. So choose wisely, and with joy – giving our kids good gifts is a really fun part of being a parent! :)
Below, tell me what you’re getting your kiddos this year — I love hearing your shopping lists!
Previously: — 2022: A 6-year-old girl, a 4.5-year-old boy, and a 1.5-year-old girl — 2021: A 5-year-old girl, a 3.5-year-old boy, and a six-months girl — 2020: A 4-year-old girl and a 2.5-year-old boy — 2019: A 3-year-old girl and a 1.5-year-old boy
Stocking stuffers! I love them! After all, what’s better than miniature-sized gifts designed simply to delight, and an excellent opportunity to shop small businesses, to boot?! I’ve done the legwork for us and rounded up some of my very favorite stocking stuffers for kids, women, and men. Of course, depending on how you distribute your budget, some of these would make excellent under-the-tree gifts, too. You get to choose!
Items marked with an * are ones we own.
Stocking Stuffers for Kids:
My philosophy for kids’ stockings (and, really, stockings in general): I’d rather spend a bit more money to stuff with things I know they’ll need, use, and keep over trinkets that don’t cost much but will be quickly tossed. Add something sweet and/or consumable and a little dash of silly fun, and you’ve got yourself a stocking!
— Liberty-print headband* | I put one of these in June’s Easter basket and it is a favorite. The only hard part is picking a pattern!
— Mini Squishmallows! I’ll give one to each child in their stocking, share a few with my sister, and save the rest for Easter baskets and friend birthdays throughout the year.
— A new water bottle*, since they always seem to break or go missing. Our kids are very into putting stickers (like these*!) on theirs.
— The sweetest starter earrings for girls! June has been curious about getting her ears pierced, and this shop is where I’ll turn when she’s ready. Or go for the stick-on variety.*
— Mini “passports” to record his or her drawings, trips, hikes, and more*
Of course, I would be remiss to write a stocking post and not mention my best gals’ genius business, Persnickety Gifts! If you want this whole process to be done in a snap, and support small businesses along the way, simply choose one of their themed bundles and call it a day. The Add-On Shop is also the perfect spot to pick up a few curated items in one place if you don’t need a whole bundle!
Stocking Stuffers for Men:
After 11 years of marriage and almost 19 years together, John and I still do not see eye to eye on stockings. We grew up with very different traditions: in John’s family, there were maybe five items in the stockings, only kids had them, and they were opened before the grown-ups came downstairs. In my family, on the other hand, stockings were a major event: they were large and stuffed full and opened one by one with oohs and ahhs.
Because of this, I gladly take the lead on stuffing every stocking in my family, including my own (more on that below!). While stocking stuffers for men are tough, here are a few ideas that would work for my guy and perhaps for yours!
— Interesting salsa or hot sauce. There’s a local foods store near us where I always pick up a jar or two.
— All the goodies from Trader Joe’s! They always have sweet and savory items that feel fun.
Stocking Stuffers for Women:
Yes, I stuff 90% of my own stocking, too, and honestly? It’s a delight. I include little luxuries I might not normally buy but feel confident I’ll love… which is the benefit of buying for yourself :)
— Liberty print toiletry bags | So cute and reasonably priced for Liberty! Again, the hardest part is choosing just one pattern.
— A petite beauty item that feels like a luxury, like a Merit bronze balm* (I have it in Seine), the creamiest (and easiest to use) highlighter* (I have it in Cosmic Dancer), the Merit blending brush*, or the best tan drops (I mix one into my moisturizer every other night – a bottle lasts forever!).
One of the best parts of the Christmas season? Pulling out the themed picture books, of course! Like so many things about the holidays, these beloved books are made even more special by the fact that their time in the bookshelf rotation is limited – and that we return to them year after year. I can remember the coziness of my whole family sitting around and flipping through Christmas books the day we brought the holiday boxes down from the attic each year, and I know my children feel the same way.
Today, I thought I’d share some of our favorite Christmas picture books, and a few winter-themed books, as well. A pro tip: go ahead and request Christmas books from your library now. Borrowing is an excellent way to fill out your collection and try new titles, but if your library is anything like ours, the holiday shelves will be bare by the time December rolls around.
Favorite Christmas picture books:
First, here are some of the Christmas picture books in our permanent collection – the ones we own and lovingly pull from the attic year after year! Most of these are favorites from my childhood.
— Christmas in the Manger| A simple board book for the littlest ones that introduces different characters (including animals!) in the Christmas story.
— Dasherby Matt Tavares | A quiet, gentle story of how reindeer came to pull Santa’s sleigh.
— How the Grinch Stole Christmas! by Dr. Seuss | This might be my children’s very favorite Christmas book. Dr. Seuss is unmatched!
— The Jolly Christmas Postman by Janet & Allan Ahlberg | A truly delightful book with envelopes, letters, riddles, and games folded in. Good for slightly-older kids because of the delicate construction!
— The Legend of St. Nicholas | The origin story of St. Nicholas and a reminder of the true joy of giving at Christmas.
— Mr. Willowby’s Christmas Tree by Robert Barry | One of my very favorites from childhood! It traces the journey of a Christmas tree from the original home to smaller and smaller animals with delightful rhyme.
— The Nutcracker, illustrated by Valeria Docampo | This story is based on the NYCB/Balanchine version, so it’s Marie, not Clara, but it’s a great introduction if you’re going to see the show! The illustrations are memorable and a bit surreal.
— The Polar Express by Chris Van Allsburg | A magical, dreamlike story (with illustrations to match) of the first gift of Christmas. This one chokes me up at the end, no matter how many times I read it.
— Silent Night by Lara Hawthorne | This is literally the lyrics to the beloved Christmas carol, which makes it interesting to read aloud, but I love having it in our collection for its beautiful, diverse, and unique illustrations.
I add one Christmas picture book to our permanent collection each year – this year, it’s this one! Here are some others we’ve already snagged from the library and tucked away until we get home from Florida.
— Christmas Day in the Morning by Pearl S. Buck | The sweetest story of a boy,his Dad and the true joy of giving. Love this one.
— The Christmas Pine by Julia Donaldson | Based on the true story of the people of Norway gifting a Christmas tree to the British people in thanks for their support during World War II. Julia Donaldson is a gem (The Gruffalo is a favorite in our house!) and this one is no different.
— The Christmas Wish by Lori Evert | Magical! A husband-and-wife team reimagined a classic Nordic tale with photos starring their daughter on her journey to the North Pole. This is a new one to us and I think my children are going to love it.
— Decorate the Tree! by Amanda Jane Jones | This is a brand-new book from someone who’s career I’ve watched for a long time. Our kids will love the interactive elements!
— Red & Green by Lois Ehlert | With cut-out pages and a story based on ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, this one is fun for little readers.
— Red & Lulu by Matt Tavares | The sweetest story of two cardinals who get separated and find each other again in an unexpected place. Perfect for city lovers!
Our favorite winter picture books:
Finally, here are a few winter-themed picture books you might love.
— Brave Irene by William Steig | Another favorite from my childhood, with a plucky heroine, a bitter snowstorm, and a brave mission.
— The Mitten by Jan Brett | Full of classic Jan Brett magic, with borders that lead you through the story.
— Over and Under the Snow by Kate Messner | We have the original, but this winter version looks just as good!
— Snow Horses by Patricia MacLachlan | A cozy, loving book about the last night of the year starring two horses. Beautiful collage illustrations!
— The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats | A classic! It’s apparently the number one most checked out book of all time in the New York Public Library, and I can see why.
Of course, I’d love to hear: did I miss any of your Christmas favorites? If you celebrate another winter holiday, I’d love to hear your favorites, too!
I read Hunt, Gather, Parent almost a year and a half ago, and the fact that I’m still motivated to chat about it after all these months should tell you something! While it did take me some time to move this post to the top of the queue, it’s not for lack of enthusiasm. This is one of the most interesting, unique, and actionable parenting books I’ve read in awhile, and one I still think about often in our daily interactions as a family. And it’s one I regularly reference in conversation, so this post feels like a natural extension!
A brief summary for the unfamiliar: the author, Michaeleen Doucleff (with her three-year-old daughter!), visits three of the oldest cultures in the world: the Maya in the Yucatan Peninsula, Inuit families in the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. All have found success raising happy, helpful, well-adjusted children, and her mission is to understand why by living with families – and applying their techniques to her own daughter along the way. She shares her findings (including lots of practical takeaways) with the goal of resetting the American paradigm, restoring sanity to parenting, and creating better outcomes for our kids.
The Maya culture, with their unusually helpful, generous, and loyal kids, is the one that inspired Michaeleen to write the book. It’s the section I got the most out of, too – when I went back to look over my notes to write this post, I had far more starred and underlined ideas than I had room to share!
Here are five that have particularly stuck with me:
1. Quit entertaining and instead invite. This starts from the beginning and continues until the teen years. “Toss out the idea that you have to ‘entertain’ the baby with toys and other ‘enrichment’ devices. Your daily chores are more than enough entertainment,” Michaeleen writes from her time with the Maya. I loved this insistence on inviting the child in to the work of the family from the youngest ages (and reminding us that toddlers find it terribly exciting to be invited in). She also describes how Maya parents never discourage a toddler who wants to help, even when they seem rude (like pulling a broom out of the parent’s hand).
“On the flip side, if you constantly discourage a child from helping, they believe they have a different role in the family,” Michaeleen writes. “Their role is to play or move out of the way. Another way to put it: If you tell a child enough times, ‘No, you’re not involved in this chore,’ eventually the child will believe you and will stop wanting to help. Children will come to learn helping is not their responsibility.”
Something else that stood out to me: the Maya continue to do chores alongside the child long after Westerners often want children to do a chore alone. For Westerners, the goal is often to get kids to the point of independence with a chore, but for the Maya, “the invitation is always for together, for doing the chore together.” Of course, the kids will eventually become independently competent. But personally, this freed me from a lot of the frustration of feeling like the goal should be to hand off a task. That’s no longer my immediate goal.
2. Make small asks. Michaeleen describes how the Maya fold in “small, quick, easy tasks that help another person—or the whole family. These are requests performed alongside the parents for a common goal. They are often subtasks of a larger one (e.g., holding the door open while you take the garbage out). “And they are often tiny,” Michaeleen notes, “I mean tiny, tiny (e.g., putting away one pot in the cabinet that’s across the kitchen, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet), but they are real. They really help.”
I loved this takeaway and implemented it immediately. It’s small ((Michaeleen recommends 3 or 4 requests a day) and perhaps obvious, but I hope it will make a big impact long-term. I think it’s a continual reminder to my children that their time is not only their own, that we are all a part of the work of the household and that they are needed and wanted.
3. Try activation. “Instead of explicitly telling the child to do a task, activate their help by telling them you’re starting a chore or by giving a hint that a chore is needed,” Michaeleen describes. By pointing out things like, “it looks like the dog’s water bowl is empty,” or “time to take the trash out,” or “the laundry just dinged,” we’re teaching kids to notice without nagging. Of course, they won’t always respond as we hope, but they’re learning, little by little.
4. Ditch the child-centered activities. Maya parents structure their family’s time to spend the majority of it together, living daily life alongside one another. They do very few, if any, child-centered activities, and Michaeleen also comes away recommending ditching almost all toys. This will feel radical (and even mean!) to some parents.
But in their place, she writes, the Maya parents give their children an even richer experience, something that many Western kids do not get much of: real life. “Maya parents welcome children into the adult world and give them full access to the adults’ lives, including their work,” she notes. Kids are nearby when adults work around the house, take care of the family business, or maintain the family garden. “And young children actually love these activities,” she notes. “They crave them. If we get kids involved in adult activities, that’s play for kids. And then they associate chores with a fun, positive activity.” A virtuous cycle!
While we haven’t thrown away all of our toys or ditched all child-centered activities, I think about this often. This perspective has given us extra freedom to say no to things like kids’ birthday parties that split our time and drive us apart, and instead spend our leisure time doing things we all enjoy together, like going for a bike ride, hiking, swimming at the pool, or playing a board game.
5. Answer misbehavior with more responsibility. We have found this to be incredibly effective with our children. Is one of them whining? Complaining? Harassing a sibling? Throwing toys? We invite them to come work alongside us or direct them to a job that needs doing. While my initial instinct is to get frustrated, speak sharply, or try to make a quick patch of the situation, inviting them in instead of sending them away is often much more effective. Again, at its best, it shows them we need them and we want them in the family, giving them the value and attention they’re seeking in a healthy way. It recalls them to their best self.
There is SO MUCH MORE I could say on this first section alone (let alone the other sections – parenting with calmness! Practicing silence! Child-child teaching! Telling family stories!) but I want to leave you with just enough to whet your appetite for more :)
I’ll end with this. At the beginning of the book, Michaeleen goes to great pains to make the point that the communities she visits are “just like us,” and I get it—on the surface, they might seem different (remote locations, unfamiliar traditions), and she wants to forestall her readers brushing off their advice as irrelevant. In the end, though, I loved that they are different, and unencumbered by many of the beliefs, expectations, and traditions that American culture is saddled with. This book was a neat opportunity to relearn the value in some ancient wisdom that, indeed, American culture generally does find irrelevant or backward. I’ve found it helpful and thought-provoking, and if you decide to read this book, I hope you do, too!
Now, I’d love to hear: If you’ve read Hunt, Gather, Parent, did you have a favorite takeaway? If not, have I motivated you to pick up a copy? : ) Any thoughts about these takeaways?
