It honestly never occurred to me to write this post until I was chatting with some of June’s friends’ parents at a birthday party a few months ago, and the conversation turned to the topic of naps. As in, did our children still take them, and how did we feel about it. At the time, June occasionally took an afternoon nap, but on the days she didn’t, she still had an afternoon quiet time. I said this casually, not thinking much of it, but the reactions were astonishing: none of the other kids there did this, and the parents seemed to have never heard of such a thing.
Having grown up with regular afternoon quiet time myself, I have to think that this is an aberration and that many more parents than John and I are enjoying daily quiet time at their homes, but in case they are not, let’s talk: about quiet time, why it’s so wonderful, and how it works in our family!
MagnaTiles are a downstairs activity, but this picture felt appropriate!
A little chronology: at around age 2 3/4, June moved to a big girl bed, and she would reliably nap for 2-3 hours like clockwork in it (her bed is pretty high off the ground, so she never attempted to get out of it solo).
Around 3 1/4, she started resisting going down for a nap, so we pivoted and did a quick rebrand: nap time was now “Big Girl Quiet Hour,” and she could have a book in bed with her. This satisfied her: about half the time she’d fall asleep, and the other half she’d flip through her book, sing and talk to herself, and play with her stuffed animals.
Originally, the three rules of Big Girl Quiet Hour were that she needed to 1) use a quiet voice, 2) stay in her bed, and 3) not touch the things on the walls. Around age 3 3/4, we relaxed the rule about staying in her bed, and she’s now allowed to move freely about her room and do whatever she’d like, as long as she’s quiet (the singing does sometimes get kind of loud toward the end!).
Though it’s called Big Girl Quiet Hour, it typically lasts 2ish hours, sometimes even more – and she’s happy as a clam the whole time. (In fact, she’ll sometimes ask if it’s time yet to go up for BGQH yet – possibly because it’s a stretch when she doesn’t have to worry about her brother messing with her stuff ;))
What does she do? She plays with her stuffed animals (they are often laid out in elaborate schemes on the floor when I come to get her, adorned with things like pipe cleaners and construction paper bracelets), draws/colors/cuts paper, plays with her doll house, looks through and organizes her treasure box, sings, dances, and flips through books. Occasionally (about 20% of the time) she’ll get in bed and actually sleep.
June is the first child we’ve transitioned to quiet hour, so I can’t say how well it works with any of my other children, but you can bet I’ll be transitioning Shep to a Big Boy Quiet Hour just as soon as he’s done with an afternoon nap :) In addition to encouraging her imagination and growing her ability to entertain herself, I think a mid-day reset is helpful for attitudes all around, and helps us to come back to each other refreshed and ready to re-engage. Particularly for two introvert parents, this is important!
Note: my kids are generally at preschool during the day, but this is our pattern on weekends, vacations, and days off! And in the past few days of school closure, it’s worked beautifully, too. Actually, knowing I can lean on this well-oiled routine has been a lifesaver amidst the new work-from-home-with-kids normal, so if you find yourself in the same boat, I hope this might be a particularly helpful thing to try right now.
Janssen has some great tips here from her experience with four girls if you’re just starting out. My best tip is simple: start as soon as they begin giving up naps! (If that ship has sailed, she suggests starting small and working up from 30 minutes.) I know I have lots of younger readers, so be sure to tuck this nugget away in your proverbial pocket for when the time comes!!
I’d love to hear: does quiet hour happen at your house? What are the parameters? If you still have all nappers, have I convinced you to try it in the future — or were you already like, duh, of course I’m going to have quiet hour? :)
Ready for a little movie break on your Thursday? Shep to the rescue with his first starring role: Sheptember, Volume One! (Though personally, I think big sister might steal the show at 1:45.)
This installment is particularly sweet to me, because I love the way it fixes this moment in time with our boy. Photos and videos have a way of doing that, don’t they? They add to and shape our memories. I appreciate that, because some of the things that so frustrate and fatigue us in the moment just don’t really need to be remembered.
While June has a 365-days-of-California-sun temperament — something of a unicorn child (a comparison she would be delighted by, no doubt), Shep’s temperament is more, well, normal — most of the time he’s lovely, and sometimes he’s really, really grumpy. We intentionally left those grumpy moments on the cutting room floor (including one memorable clip where Shep is screaming his head off, and you can hear John in the background saying “this one’s not going to make the movie,” HA!).
His sweetness, his fun-loving spirit, his impishness, his curiosity, and — of course — his love for his big sister all come across so strongly here. Enjoy this little glimpse into life with our favorite baby boy at one year!
We have a four year old in the house! Three was the sweetest of sweet ages (proof) and I am expectant to see what four has to offer. If it’s more of the same, that sounds great to me :)
Over the years, we’ve collected a few simple family birthday traditions — a balloon for each year at your chair, the birthday banner hung on the fireplace, and getting to choose your birthday dinner.
Last year, we introduced one more: the birthday interview!
This is not a new idea by any stretch of the imagination — Pinterest has a zillion free printables — though I originally got the idea not from Pinterest but from our friends the Henrys, who conduct a similar interview with their kids on Christmas Eve every year (continuing a tradition from Mackenzie’s family growing up!).
We keep it simple: I just type up and print out her answers and stick them in a binder. (When she’s older, I’ll have her write them!)
There is one twist we’ve initiated, though: we film her answering the questions! Her little voice arrests me with its cuteness daily, and I know one day I will be desperate to listen to what she used to sound like. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
When she turned three, we thought she’d be old enough to understand our questions and come up with an answer to them, and though she has indeed answered the questions both years, some of her answers are definitely… of dubious veracity, as least according to her revealed preferences. For example, this year she named grapes as her favorite fruit — even though we have grapes in our house about two times a year. I’ve been known to add commentary in parentheses to some of the more out-there answers :)
(For the record, I can sympathize: have you ever had the experience of being asked your favorite book, and literally not being able to think of a single book you’ve ever read?! What is a book???)
Eventually we’ll add Shep’s answers to the binder, too! Here are the questions we ask, if you’d like to try something similar:
Favorite color: Favorite animal: Favorite book: Favorite thing to watch: Favorite thing to wear: Favorite game: Favorite song: Favorite breakfast: Favorite snack: Favorite fruit: Favorite treat: Favorite place to eat: Favorite thing to do outside: Favorite thing to do inside: Favorite toy: Favorite stuffed animal: Favorite holiday: Best friend: I am really good at: Where I want to go on vacation: What I want to be when I grow up: What we did on my birthday:
One last note: this is the type of thing that, if I had an eight year old and was hearing about it for the first time, might stress me out, being late to the party. Don’t do that. If you have an eight year old and want to start this, just start it! I promise she won’t care that you skipped years 3-7 :)
I mean, if that doesn’t sound like an adventure, what does?! Truthfully, our seventh camping trip together almost did the Rays in, I think, but in the end, we’ve all agreed we’re going back next year :) Here’s a peek at our weekend away, if you’d like to see!
This year, we chose Lake James State Park for our home base. Our side-by-side tent sites were close to the wash house, which was perfect for our frequent visits! The park itself was perched up on a hill without any lake views, but it was a quick drive to the beach — which we took advantage of, as you’ll see below!
Sometimes we camp in the spring and sometimes in the fall; this year we chose August to give the December baby a chance to grow up a bit! We’ve each camped with a 9-month-old in our family, and know it can be a tough age (limited mobility=frustration). That, in addition, to coming in with a sleep deficit, pretty well summed up the challenges for the Rays.
Of course, there were a million delights along the way, too! Conversation around the campfire, “dance recitals” in the road next to our campsite, a beautiful hike, time in the water, yummy meals, and lots of sweet moments.
We ventured out to revisit an old favorite hike – Lower Catawba Falls – and though it was a beautiful day, we were a little disappointed: we were sharing the trail with so many others, it felt like we were at Disney World! It was a shocking change from our first visit to these falls 8 or so years ago, when we maybe saw three other hikers. Still beautiful, but I wouldn’t recommend it at this point if you’re looking for solitude. (It is, however, a mostly flat hike with a lovely payoff at the end, so it remains great for families.)
Since it was Labor Day weekend, it was also warm enough to enjoy Lake James itself, and we had a perfect day for it! It feels like the scene below could be from 1980 or 2019, doesn’t it?
There are many things I love about camping, but I’ll sum up this post with two of my favorites.
First, camping, in our lives, is the pinnacle of the slow pace of life I aim for, and particularly, the slow parenting. One of my favorite memories from this trip is the hour or more the kiddos spent digging in the gravel of our campsite. Literally just spoons and plastic cups and rocks, and they could have stayed there all day.
Our world is so often not set up for exercising a longer attention span or enjoying simple activities, but the world of camping is. I’m thankful for these trips, because they give me new ideas and a renewed desire to add this kind of space to our normal lives.
Second, I love how new locations and the time to sink into them allow us to get to know someone in a different way. I’ve alluded to this trip giving me new insight into Shep’s personality, and it’s true that I feel like I saw a whole new side of it. I had a conception of him as moody, often grumpy for no reason, and with a short attention span.
Camping showed me that he is perfectly content and perfectly able to sink into an activity for an extended period as long as he’s given freedom of movement and free access to materials. As a mama, one of my most important duties is to know the hearts and minds of my kiddos so I can speak into them and love them well, and I’m grateful for anything that gives me more insight. Sometimes, all it takes is a change of location for a fresh perspective.
Friends, thanks for graciously accepting this very un-Christmas-y post so close to Christmas, ha! As always, my hope in sharing these camping recaps (in addition to recording our memories!) is to encourage you to take YOUR family outside. If I can answer any questions or cheer you on as you consider it, it would be my delight. Our past archives might be helpful, too…
