Hello, friends! I missed you last week! Like many of you, I’ve found myself much busier than usual since our kiddos’ school closed. We’ve had our babysitter over several mornings a week, but there’s still a lot of creative scheduling (mornings, evenings, etc.) needed to fit in an almost-full work day on my part. John has also been working far longer hours than normal, as his industry is currently roiling. Unfortunately, that’s meant less time here.
I find it so interesting that this virus has impacted people in such opposite ways, particularly in terms of time — some people are attempting to work full-time, parent full-time, and homeschool full-time, while others are out of work, have seen all their commitments snatched from them, and have suddenly found themselves with hours to fill. Both are challenging in their own way.
Similarly, John and I were talking yesterday about how different this experience would be if our kids were any other age – particularly high school age. In high school, families are usually scattered by sports, friends, and activities – plus, you can’t pay some teens to spend free time with their parents :) While I’m sure there are many difficulties to having older kids in this crisis, I hope so much that those parents are also able to soak up the fleeting sweetness of having their big kids suddenly and unexpectedly held so close (especially knowing that they’ll soon go off to college or perhaps move states away…) From my seat as a mama who currently always has my kiddos close by and tears up thinking about when it will be different, that sounds breathlessly dear. (On that note, I’ve recently read two interesting pieces on the silver linings of this pandemic for families: here and here.)
Aside from the work and childcare chaos, our life remains much the same. We’re used to spending much of our time together, and our kids are too young to have many cancelled activities. As introverts, we’re used to staying in most nights; living far from our families, we’re used to connecting virtually.
While of course I’m incredibly grateful that we haven’t experienced more upheaval, in a strange way this has niggled me a bit. This pandemic is a landmark event, one that we’ll be telling stories about and feeling the effects of for years. At the end of it, I don’t want to remember it as just a few months when I was grumpier and more anxious than usual. I’d like to be able to say that despite the difficulties, the extra stressors, and the uncertainties, we were intentional about squeezing love, sweetness, and joy from a truly awful time. I’d like to be able to say that we did everything we could to help the world heal and to be more generous than felt comfortable. I’d like to be able to say that we used the new pockets of time – like John’s former commute – to enjoy each other’s company. I want there to be plenty of good to remember.
So that’s where I am right now. I hope you’ve had a little time to sit with your thoughts and feelings in the last few days, too, whatever they might be. I hope you’ve been able to squeeze whatever good is possible from the last few days, whatever that might be. And if Em for Marvelous is part of what you look forward to, I have some happy news for you. I spent a little time this weekend brainstorming what I’d like to share with you in the months to come – how I might be able to help you in this strange season in a unique way – and I’m looking forward to chatting more as time allows. A few of the things in store: a series of micro posts about meal planning improvements we’ve recently made, our Easter plans (basket talk coming tomorrow!), a massive photo organization how-to (!!), and a COVID-19-themed Marvelous Money entry – and that’s just what I hope to cover in April :)
For today, I’ll leave you with a few things that have been brightening our days these last few weeks. In the comments, I’d really love to hear a few of yours! Here are mine:
— listening to worship music almost constantly at home (mostly this playlist) — a Marco Polo group with John’s extended family — virtual game nights with my family (Scattergories Categories is a winner) — daily walks in our neighborhood — all of the gorgeous flowering trees – dogwood, cherry, Kwanzan cherry (my favorite!), redbud, tulip magnolia, and more — warm chocolate chip cookies most nights — watching happy movies like The Parent Trap (both versions), The Sound of Music, and The Holiday while working on puzzles — fun free drawing printables from Camp Castle (sign up at the top here) — family hikes and bike rides (though I love our stationary bike, it feels so good to be back outside!) — the Georgia Aquarium live feeds (in honor of our canceled vacation) — planting our vegetable garden and adding a few more bushes to our back bed
Finally, for my working friends grateful to still be in a stable job, a small suggestion: take a vacation day now, if you can. I know it might seem strange to take vacation when you already feel like you’re not getting enough work done, or when your employer needs your best more than ever, or when you can’t do anything particularly exciting with your time. On Friday, however, did just that. I had scheduled this day of vacation weeks before our current crisis hit, and last week I considered canceling it – but I’m so glad I didn’t. I hadn’t quite realized the weight of wearing the “employee” and “mama” hat simultaneously in a way that I almost never do, for myself and for my children, and it was glorious to just wear one for the day. We splashed in a creek, we had a picnic in the back of my car, I read many more chapters of my current book, we took a walk… I felt buoyant all day. So if you can, don’t wait to use all of your vacation days “when this gets better.” Take some now. You will be so glad you did.
And now friends, please add what’s making you smile to the comments. I can’t wait to hear, and am sending you love!
It honestly never occurred to me to write this post until I was chatting with some of June’s friends’ parents at a birthday party a few months ago, and the conversation turned to the topic of naps. As in, did our children still take them, and how did we feel about it. At the time, June occasionally took an afternoon nap, but on the days she didn’t, she still had an afternoon quiet time. I said this casually, not thinking much of it, but the reactions were astonishing: none of the other kids there did this, and the parents seemed to have never heard of such a thing.
Having grown up with regular afternoon quiet time myself, I have to think that this is an aberration and that many more parents than John and I are enjoying daily quiet time at their homes, but in case they are not, let’s talk: about quiet time, why it’s so wonderful, and how it works in our family!
MagnaTiles are a downstairs activity, but this picture felt appropriate!
A little chronology: at around age 2 3/4, June moved to a big girl bed, and she would reliably nap for 2-3 hours like clockwork in it (her bed is pretty high off the ground, so she never attempted to get out of it solo).
Around 3 1/4, she started resisting going down for a nap, so we pivoted and did a quick rebrand: nap time was now “Big Girl Quiet Hour,” and she could have a book in bed with her. This satisfied her: about half the time she’d fall asleep, and the other half she’d flip through her book, sing and talk to herself, and play with her stuffed animals.
Originally, the three rules of Big Girl Quiet Hour were that she needed to 1) use a quiet voice, 2) stay in her bed, and 3) not touch the things on the walls. Around age 3 3/4, we relaxed the rule about staying in her bed, and she’s now allowed to move freely about her room and do whatever she’d like, as long as she’s quiet (the singing does sometimes get kind of loud toward the end!).
Though it’s called Big Girl Quiet Hour, it typically lasts 2ish hours, sometimes even more – and she’s happy as a clam the whole time. (In fact, she’ll sometimes ask if it’s time yet to go up for BGQH yet – possibly because it’s a stretch when she doesn’t have to worry about her brother messing with her stuff ;))
What does she do? She plays with her stuffed animals (they are often laid out in elaborate schemes on the floor when I come to get her, adorned with things like pipe cleaners and construction paper bracelets), draws/colors/cuts paper, plays with her doll house, looks through and organizes her treasure box, sings, dances, and flips through books. Occasionally (about 20% of the time) she’ll get in bed and actually sleep.
June is the first child we’ve transitioned to quiet hour, so I can’t say how well it works with any of my other children, but you can bet I’ll be transitioning Shep to a Big Boy Quiet Hour just as soon as he’s done with an afternoon nap :) In addition to encouraging her imagination and growing her ability to entertain herself, I think a mid-day reset is helpful for attitudes all around, and helps us to come back to each other refreshed and ready to re-engage. Particularly for two introvert parents, this is important!
Note: my kids are generally at preschool during the day, but this is our pattern on weekends, vacations, and days off! And in the past few days of school closure, it’s worked beautifully, too. Actually, knowing I can lean on this well-oiled routine has been a lifesaver amidst the new work-from-home-with-kids normal, so if you find yourself in the same boat, I hope this might be a particularly helpful thing to try right now.
Janssen has some great tips here from her experience with four girls if you’re just starting out. My best tip is simple: start as soon as they begin giving up naps! (If that ship has sailed, she suggests starting small and working up from 30 minutes.) I know I have lots of younger readers, so be sure to tuck this nugget away in your proverbial pocket for when the time comes!!
I’d love to hear: does quiet hour happen at your house? What are the parameters? If you still have all nappers, have I convinced you to try it in the future — or were you already like, duh, of course I’m going to have quiet hour? :)
Ready for a little movie break on your Thursday? Shep to the rescue with his first starring role: Sheptember, Volume One! (Though personally, I think big sister might steal the show at 1:45.)
This installment is particularly sweet to me, because I love the way it fixes this moment in time with our boy. Photos and videos have a way of doing that, don’t they? They add to and shape our memories. I appreciate that, because some of the things that so frustrate and fatigue us in the moment just don’t really need to be remembered.
While June has a 365-days-of-California-sun temperament — something of a unicorn child (a comparison she would be delighted by, no doubt), Shep’s temperament is more, well, normal — most of the time he’s lovely, and sometimes he’s really, really grumpy. We intentionally left those grumpy moments on the cutting room floor (including one memorable clip where Shep is screaming his head off, and you can hear John in the background saying “this one’s not going to make the movie,” HA!).
His sweetness, his fun-loving spirit, his impishness, his curiosity, and — of course — his love for his big sister all come across so strongly here. Enjoy this little glimpse into life with our favorite baby boy at one year!
We have a four year old in the house! Three was the sweetest of sweet ages (proof) and I am expectant to see what four has to offer. If it’s more of the same, that sounds great to me :)
Over the years, we’ve collected a few simple family birthday traditions — a balloon for each year at your chair, the birthday banner hung on the fireplace, and getting to choose your birthday dinner.
Last year, we introduced one more: the birthday interview!
This is not a new idea by any stretch of the imagination — Pinterest has a zillion free printables — though I originally got the idea not from Pinterest but from our friends the Henrys, who conduct a similar interview with their kids on Christmas Eve every year (continuing a tradition from Mackenzie’s family growing up!).
We keep it simple: I just type up and print out her answers and stick them in a binder. (When she’s older, I’ll have her write them!)
There is one twist we’ve initiated, though: we film her answering the questions! Her little voice arrests me with its cuteness daily, and I know one day I will be desperate to listen to what she used to sound like. I’m not crying, you’re crying.
When she turned three, we thought she’d be old enough to understand our questions and come up with an answer to them, and though she has indeed answered the questions both years, some of her answers are definitely… of dubious veracity, as least according to her revealed preferences. For example, this year she named grapes as her favorite fruit — even though we have grapes in our house about two times a year. I’ve been known to add commentary in parentheses to some of the more out-there answers :)
(For the record, I can sympathize: have you ever had the experience of being asked your favorite book, and literally not being able to think of a single book you’ve ever read?! What is a book???)
Eventually we’ll add Shep’s answers to the binder, too! Here are the questions we ask, if you’d like to try something similar:
Favorite color: Favorite animal: Favorite book: Favorite thing to watch: Favorite thing to wear: Favorite game: Favorite song: Favorite breakfast: Favorite snack: Favorite fruit: Favorite treat: Favorite place to eat: Favorite thing to do outside: Favorite thing to do inside: Favorite toy: Favorite stuffed animal: Favorite holiday: Best friend: I am really good at: Where I want to go on vacation: What I want to be when I grow up: What we did on my birthday:
One last note: this is the type of thing that, if I had an eight year old and was hearing about it for the first time, might stress me out, being late to the party. Don’t do that. If you have an eight year old and want to start this, just start it! I promise she won’t care that you skipped years 3-7 :)
