Happy early Mother’s Day to all of you friends who are celebrating this weekend, in any capacity! For those of you who are a mom yourself, know that I have full confidence that you are doing the very best job you can. Part of the reason I can say that is because I have a hunch that you love to learn (I think that’s something that unites all of us here!). And if, each day, you’re learning and applying something that moves you a small step in the right direction, you’re doing a great job.
This is something John and I have taken to heart from the very beginning. In one of my earliest parenting posts, I shared advice from friends that has stuck with us over the last five years. Remember, they said, you will know more tomorrow than you know today. And you know more today than you knew yesterday. Like us, they didn’t have too much “baby experience” before the birth of their son, and they marveled to us how much more they knew at the end of the first week of his life – like, light years different. That was so encouraging for me to hear, and I’ve found it to be true over and over, even beyond the baby years.
Some of my favorite people to learn from about parenting are our in-real-life friends, and of course I’m always learning from and inspired by our own parents. And books. I love parenting books! But over the years I’ve collected a few other sources of parenting wisdom, ideas, inspiration, and expertise that are closer to real-time companions, in my ears or at my fingertips when I need a mid-day boost or encouragement to keep fighting the good fight of parenthood. I thought I’d share that list of parenting resources with you today! In no particular order…
Favorite parenting podcasts
Walk in love podcast | This is most definitely not a strictly parenting podcast, but T.J. and Brooke share often about the intentional ways they’re building their family culture. Our philosophies and goals feel similar, and our kids are around the same age (maybe 6 and 3 for them?), so it feels like we’re in the trenches together. Their episode about their Sabbath and weekly rhythm is a good place to start, and I always enjoy T.J.’s twice-yearly reports from the intentional dad mastermind he’s a part of (most recently here and here).
Raising Boys and Girls podcast | Of all the resources listed here, this podcast undoubtedly qualifies as the most “expert.” Hosts Sissy Goff and David Thomas are both authors and long-time practicing family counselors at DayStar Counseling in Tennessee. What a treasure trove of wisdom and experience they are! Each season of the podcast is a bit different, from interviews to walking through stages of development, but overall, their goal is to “help you care for the kids in your life with a little more understanding, a little more practical help and a whole lot of hope.” I really enjoy this one.
Merrick’s Art | Merrick is Janssen’s sister! She has three boys ranging from about 6 to 11, and though similar in parenting ethos to her sister, it’s fun to see how she applies it for a family of boys. The topic of Merrick’s blog (fashion) is of slightly less interest overall to me than Janssen’s, but I find many of her parenting posts helpful, like life skills she’s teaching her boys, their one-hour mom dates, a family economy, and tips for raising boys.
Risen Motherhood | Risen Motherhood “exists to encourage, equip, and challenge moms to apply the gospel to their everyday lives.” In the midst of the more fluffy things I read, it’s a solid reminder of what matters most in my role as parent, sometimes in more philosophical and sometimes in very practical ways.
NieNie Dialogues | I love reading about all of the intentional ways Stephanie and her husband build their family culture, live out their faith, share their faith with their children, and make much of celebrations big and small. The Nielsons have five kids ranging from about 8 to 18 and as with many of these resources, I love getting a peek ahead to what life might look like in a few years. I’ve particularly been inspired by their back-to-school dinners, complete with family theme for the year.
Favorite parenting Instagram accounts
Shay Cochrane | Shay is a commercial photographer and business owner who I’ve had the pleasure of working with in several capacities over the years. She is another total kindred spirit, including our shared love for intentional parenting, healthy and joyful marriage, and financial freedom. With two daughters about ages 9 and 11, she might be my absolute favorite person to follow on IG for the thought-provoking and practical parenting tidbits she shares, like talking about sex, thoughts on experiences over things, what it means to build a home, and strategies for navigating a crisis.
Alice Park | Alice is another photographer and business owner, and though I think our parenting styles might differ slightly more than some others on this list (she’s a little more Enneagram Type 3 than me, ha!), I love the nuggets she shares, like balancing mothering and working, raising resilient diverse children, and creating a home where your kids know they’re valued. She has a daughter who’s about 7 and a son who’s about 10.
Simply on Purpose | Ralphie is another mom to four girls, ranging from about 8 to 16, and she is a font of wisdom and practical tips for positive parenting. Out of all of these resources, I feel like she’s truly the coach in my ear, daily reminding me to look for the good, create momentum, be a safe space, and simply enjoy the gift of having kids in our home. She is REALLY good at breaking down explanations and providing examples, so if these topics are new to you, I think you’ll find her account really helpful!
There you have it! There are other moms and parenting platforms that I love and am inspired by, but these are the ones that consistently help me learn: the ones that teach me new ways of doing things and approaching situations, give me new ideas to try, and have me taking notes and screenshots.
I would love to hear: do we share any favorite parenting resources? Or do you have another to recommend? I’d love for y’all to continue my list in the comments!
File this under classic third child situation: baby girl will not have a dedicated nursery.
BUT – we still have some special plans up our sleeves, and since where our newest addition will sleep has been one of our most commonly asked questions, I thought we could chat about our plans today!
In our home, the master bedroom is downstairs, and we are grateful to have three bedrooms upstairs. June is in one, Shep is in another, and the third is our guest room. The guest room was the very first room we painted in this house (Benjamin Moore Healing Aloe – the prettiest soft green, which I still love!), and after we hung a pair of magnolia art prints on the wall, we dubbed it the Magnolia Room. It’s perfect for welcoming our mostly northern guests to our Southern home! Here is what it looks like today:
Since we live far from loved ones and my sister and her family visit for weekend trips often, it’s important to us to keep a queen bed upstairs. Because of this, this room will largely stay intact, but we will be making a few adjustments to accommodate baby girl! (On that note, I am very glad that baby is, indeed, a girl and not a boy, because the existing decor definitely skews feminine! We could have made it work if we were welcoming a boy, but it’s a much lighter lift this way, ha!)
Here’s a look at the plan, and then a few more details:
First, of course, we’ll add a crib. We’ll use Shep’s same white Jenny Lind crib, even though he’s currently occupying it. We figure we have at least until the end of the year without overlap (if we need it!), since our babies usually sleep in the bassinet in our room for the first few months. Once we move the crib into her room, we’ll add this beautiful magnolia crib sheet (with this floral design as a back-up) and eventually this muslin quilt.
We’ll also switch out the curtains. While I love the current curtains, they’re not black-out and don’t even exactly cover the entire window when closed. (Oops – one of my earliest commissioned projects :)) I’m planning to find a seamstress to make black-out roman shades with the gorgeous Poppy fabric by Lulie Wallace, which I think will tie together lots of the colors in the room and be a fun, feminine touch for baby girl.
Finally, we’ll hopefully switch out the dresser. There is currently a dresser in the room, which was a free hand-me-down from one of our cottages in Maine. It is lovely, but smells AGGRESSIVELY like mothballs. We have tried various things to air it out over the years, but none have made much difference and we don’t have much hope of further progress. We’re currently storing a few things in there that don’t really absorb smells or we don’t care if they do, but ideally we would like some storage for baby girl things. So, we may opt to replace this dresser with another one – maybe this one. If I could get an exact dupe of the dresser in June’s room, I would in a second – I still think it is the most gorgeous honey wood color!! Alas, it was a one-of-a-kind flea market find.
We’ll also likely take the opportunity to switch out the lamps for a matching pair, add some happy yellow artwork over the bed, and frame a few family photos for the dresser!
For those who are curious, we figure the room in this configuration should be just fine for at least the first 2-3 years of baby girl’s life. Our kids don’t keep too many toys in their room until they start quiet time, so it shouldn’t be an issue to preserve the guest room feel. After that, we might consider having two of the kids share a room, or shifting the guest room to be more custom for baby girl (but still keep a queen bed). Or, we might be in a new house entirely! We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it :)
Sharing these posts is always good motivation to nail down the details – now I just need to execute! T-10 weeks to go…
What is a household or parenting task other people hate, but you actually really enjoy?
For me, it’s organizing my children’s wardrobes. No, I don’t mean shopping for them or picking out outfits (though I do enjoy those things, too!) – I mean the nitty-gritty of making sure they have the right amount of clothes that fit and are seasonally appropriate, at the right time, in the right place (and managing the steady size drip of too big –> just right –> too small). Throw in hand-me-downs and donation piles and rips and stains and what to keep for posterity and kid clothing management can get overwhelming quickly (especially when you have multiple ages and genders to wrangle!), but I’ve found a simple system that has made this process a breeze and, yes, actually enjoyable. Since many of us are in the process of switching over our kids’ wardrobes from fall/winter to spring/summer, I thought we could chat about it today!
Here’s what my process looks like:
— We are lucky to get 80% or more of our kids’ clothing from my older sister, who has a girl a few years older than June and a boy a few years older than Shep. (Thank you, Jesus!) Whenever she delivers a fresh load, I go through it immediately and return to her anything that’s not our style or that we don’t need. Clothes that are too big go in a designated spot. This could be a bin in the closet or a box in the attic – for us, it’s the drawers in June’s dresser (one for each kid). Gifts that are too big or for a future season go here, too.
— Clothes that fit and are in season are stored in John’s and my bedside tables – more about that here.
— Whenever a piece of clothing is too small, too worn out, falls out of favor, or no longer fits the season, it goes in a big bin under June’s bed. It doesn’t matter where it came from, who it belongs to, or what will happen to it next – it just gets tossed in the bin. This eliminates SO MUCH decision making on a daily/weekly basis!
— Once in the spring and once in the fall, I pull out the under-bed bin, dump everything on the floor, and sort through it. (I usually time it to coincide with my favorite consignment sale!) I make several piles:
1. Favorite items that will be saved for our future kids or nieces/nephews. This pile is generous – we have plenty of room for storage and I promised my younger sister I would hang on to all the good stuff until she’s ready! This is not just a few pieces for posterity. These get stored in big labeled bins in the attic, sorted by size and gender. 2. Items to return to my older sister. This is generally pieces we didn’t end up wearing much – she consigns whatever I send back her way! 3. Items in good shape we no longer want or need. These get set aside to tag for the consignment sale. 4. Items that will fit next season (for example, June wore many of the same dresses this winter that she did last winter). These go back in the dresser in June’s room. 5. Items to donate or give away. This pile is usually small, since I try to consign most things, but sometimes includes items that are out of style or too annoying to tag (socks, etc.). 6. Items to toss. Things with holes or stains.
And that’s it! Clothes for the new season get moved from upstairs to downstairs, the piles are dispatched, and we’re good to go for the next few months! It’s super simple, but that under-the-bed bin is a true game-changer and makes upkeep so simple.
Now, of course, I’d love to hear: what is a household or parenting task other people hate, but you actually really enjoy? If you have any questions about kids’ clothing management, I’m happy to answer those, too :)
With so many of us planning road trips these days, and spring break coming up, I thought it might be helpful to share some of our family’s tips and tricks!
John and I love a good asphalt adventure, and once our kids joined the party, we kept right on rolling. June clocked six significant road trips in her first six months of life, we’ve been known to make multiple 10+ hour road trips in a summer, and I kid you not, when we asked June what she was most looking forward to about our upcoming trip to Jekyll Island, she said, “the car ride and the pool.” In that order. So those are our credentials, ha!
One thing to note up front: our kids (currently 5 and 2) do not have or use personal devices (iPads, etc.). A few further things to note:
— If your kids use devices while traveling and you’re happy with the situation, great! You do you. This is not a moral failing and you do not need to explain yourself to me or anyone else, ha!
— If your kids use devices while traveling and you’d rather they didn’t or you’re considering going screen-free, I’ll be the first to encourage you that YOU CAN DO IT! Yes, there might be a rough transition period. Yes, it requires a little more prep and parental engagement. And yes, even once you’re well into it, it’s not always going to be pretty (best to keep your expectations in check!).
For us, though, the benefits outweigh the negatives — benefits like increasing our kids’ patience, attention spans, resilience, and capacity for wonder. We also think it helps them learn to accept uncomfortable situations with good humor and to make friends with boredom, and can strengthen our family bond. (You might find other ways to accomplish these things, if they’re important to you!)
— If you’re traveling solo with kids, all bets are off (almost!). A short (2-3 hour) trip? Sure. Experienced screen-free kids? Sure. Older, more self-sufficient kids? Yes. But the mechanics of parental involvement just become much more complicated when you’re trying to drive at the same time as facilitate.
— I can see a future scenario where we might play a movie on my laptop for both kids to watch for a portion of the trip. Again, you do you!
— This post is specifically about car trips. We have no problem with our kids watching something on a phone, laptop, or back-of-the-seat screen on an airplane because we travel by air MUCH less frequently (so it’s a fun treat) and in an airplane, our neighbors don’t have a choice about sitting near us, so we want to be extra courteous and quiet :)
In short: going screen-free while traveling by car might be harder at first, but it gets easier – and you’ll hopefully find the foundational skills you’re building will pay off in a BIG way down the road.
Now, on to some of the practical tips we’ve found helpful for keeping our preschoolers happy and busy while cruising the highways and byways!
1. Pack great snacks. I am not overly concerned with health or redeeming qualities in road trip snacks, though a variety is helpful to keep things exciting! Goldfish, gummy bears, graham crackers, peanut butter crackers, apple chips, popcorn, blueberries, granola bars, and applesauce pouches are all popular with our crew. In the past, we’ve packed larger bags and brought snack cups to parcel them out, but for this trip I think the kids are old enough to handle individual snack boxes. I ordered these boxes and am going to add their names to the tops with washi tape! I think this will be VERY exciting and keep them busy for awhile.
[Updated to add: here are the boxes in action! They turned out to be a little excessive, ha. The 17 compartments were like snacks for a week for our kids!! Might try repurposing them and getting these for next time, which can be reconfigured.]
P.S. Don’t forget favorite snacks for the parents, too!
2. Pack fun activities. Each of the kids has a L.L. Bean tote bag that I pack with special activities – a mix of their favorites and brand-new surprises. (We have the open top Boat & Totes in size medium – I would size up to larges if I had a do-over!) The bags fit perfectly on the floor in front of a car seat and are easy to access with the open tops. This is helpful since at their current ages I am usually the one meting out the activities, though I’m sure that will change as they get older.
For this trip, June’s bag will include a few favorite books (including an I Spy one like this), a few ponies, coloring and activity books (Octonauts!), a paint-by-sticker book, her Paw Patrol coloring pad, her pouch of markers, printables, and the Guess Who travel game. (A new addition for this trip! The passenger will play with her – Shep isn’t ready to partner yet.)
Since one of you asked, here’s what the second row of our packed car looked like on a recent trip! Snack tote underneath June’s feet (she can rest her feet on it), Shep’s tote within my reach (on the floor), and June’s tote in between the car seats. Cooler on the floor in front of Shep!
3. Be ready to actively engage. Like I mentioned above, going screen-free (especially at this age) means you can’t just disengage and expect to have a distraction-free trip to indulge in your own book, listen to podcasts, or catch up on your magazines (all personal favorite road-trip activities pre-kids!). You might have small pockets of time to dip into these activities, but much of the passenger’s time is spent facilitating. Some activities that have been popular with our crew:
— Reading books from the front — Playing family DJ (taking turns picking songs in a rotation) — Singing songs — Playing I Spy or The Alphabet Game (where you choose a category (animals, foods) and name something in that category for every letter) — Listening to audio books of the kids’ choosing (Narwhal and Jelly was a hit last time).
4. Prep your car. I like to take my car to the car wash a few days before the trip and vacuum it out. This makes me happy (ha!) and is a good excuse to make sure any junk is cleaned out so we have a clean slate at the start. Otherwise, make sure you have your reacher grabber (here’s why), several small trash bags, and have stocked the backseat with lap desks.
5. Stop along the way. Build in time to stop for meals and running around. We always try to find a park, a playground, a nice rest area, or just a patch of grass where we can picnic and stretch our legs.
6. Remember that you set the tone. In the weeks and days before a trip, we talk enthusiastically about how much we’re looking forward to the road trip itself, how we love road trips, and how it’s going to be a great adventure. We compliment the kids along the way whenever they’re behaving well, try our best to keep positive attitudes ourselves, and remember we’re on the same team. And we try to make it fun! For example, when we were all packed and buckled but before we pulled out of the garage, we all put our hands in a pile and shouted, “1, 2, 3, GO TEAM THOMAS!” Cheesy, but preschoolers love cheese :)
I know most of these tips are very specific to the preschool set, but I hope they’re helpful if you have littles in that age range! If you’re traveling with an infant, this post is for you. I have many more road trip ideas for older kids, but we’ll save those for a future post! :)
I would LOVE to hear: what road trip tips and tricks, kid-related or not, have you found helpful for smooth travels? Any upcoming road trips you’re looking forward to?
