The gallery of photos from our family session with Ally & Bobby arrived in my inbox a few days after John tore his Achilles’ tendon – the day before his surgery. What a slice of sunshine in a week when we really needed it! Of course, no matter when they arrived I knew they’d be a treasure, but the timing did feel like a gentle nod from God. These were my first maternity photos in three pregnancies, and I’m so happy I got to capture them surrounded by my family (at 28 weeks). Here are a few, if you’d like to see!
Our session lasted about 45 minutes, and for the last ten, the kids were pretty loopy. It helped that they could wander in the tall grass of the NC Museum of Art to their hearts’ content in between shots!
I ended up wearing the pink striped Hill House Nap Dress borrowed from Kristin, and am so happy with the choice. Thank you, K!! I can heartily endorse it as a maternity option – the smocking makes it very comfy! June’s sweet dress is from Amazon, John is wearing his favorite All Day shorts, and both kids are wearing Saltwater sandals (here and here).
We already knew Ally socially, but had never shot with her personally before this session. As we were driving home, John was like, “Are all photographers that encouraging? She was so excited about everything,” ha! While I do think all photographers work hard to put their subjects at ease and make them feel good, Ally does have the sweetest spirit and just the most delightful, bubbly personality. We LOVED being photographed by her!
My only hesitation before booking Ally was whether she’d capture the energy and motion of a young family, because I was much more familiar with her (serene, gorgeous!) wedding photography. As you can see, I needn’t have worried :)
My heart. We are so very lucky to have him as the Daddy in our family.
It really hit me when I looked at these photos – how crazy and wonderful it is that there will be a third little face squeezed into the frame the next time around! We feel so very lucky to have had this season captured for our family, and excited for what’s next!
Wishing a very happy Father’s Day to all this weekend, in whatever way you’re celebrating, and a happy Juneteenth!
Though I wouldn’t say I hold particularly tightly to plans, I am also most definitely a planner.
For moments and events I know might have resonance for our family, I feel much more prepared if I start musing on them far in advance (this could mean days or weeks or months – the time horizon is relative to the importance!). This gives me time to work through my own thoughts and needs, and it also gives me time to think through the emotional needs of the people around me, research or crowdsource how others have marked the occasion, and brainstorm how we might be able to make the moment special or edifying or something that adds to the story of our family. In the end, whether or not everything goes off without a hitch, I can rest assured that I’ve put forward my best effort. And when the unexpected does happen, I find I’m better able to roll with it :)
So obviously, each time we’ve added a new baby to our family, I’ve given a lot of thought to how we might manage the variables within our control, and make such an important moment a joyful and seamless one. As we prepare for baby number three’s arrival, here are a few things that worked for us last time, and a few things we’re trying this time!
1. Choose a few books to read together. Books are a classic, low-key way to introduce new ideas and open conversation with kids. June’s absolute favorite is this one, by the inimitable Sally Lloyd-Jones, and she also liked I’m a Big Sister and Maple. At two and a half, they gave her words for what was ahead and got her excited about, well, being a big sister :) I’m thinking we’ll snag this brother version for Shep in the next few days.
2. Let them help choose a few items. June loved weighing in on baby sister’s muslin blanket (probably because she loves hers so much!) and giving her opinion on the curtain fabric. To keep things simple and pleasing for everyone involved (ha), I like to take screenshots of 3-4 choices to narrow down the options before consulting her. I think this helps her feel she has a role in the transition, and that preparing for baby sister is a family project.
3. Exchange gifts. This is not an original tip – I heard it from many seasoned parents when we were expecting Shep – but it has proved to be a memorable one. In the run-up to Shep’s birth, June and I went shopping for a stuffed animal for him, then wrapped it together. She got to bring it to the hospital and help him unwrap it when she visited for the first time, and was delighted when we presented her with a gift (also a stuffed animal) “from him” in return.
This exchange still comes up regularly in conversation, and we’re planning to recreate it for baby number three. Looking forward to a stuffie shopping date with my buddies in the next few weeks! (In case you’re curious, baby sister will be giving June a replacement camera, since hers broke a few months ago, and Shep a recycling truck. She’s already got a bead on them.)
4. Have your arms ready. Unfortunately, the kids will not be able to visit us in the hospital this time around, but when June visited after Shep’s birth, we made a point to have him snuggled in the bassinet so that she could climb up on the bed with me and I could give her a big hug right away (after being greeted in the lobby by Daddy). We chatted about what she had been up to in the last 24 hours, and only then did John hand Shep into the bed so that we could look at him together. The sequence is subtle, but I think it helped ward off an immediate visual of being “replaced” and the feeling of being unsure where she fit in.
5. Give them something to look forward to. Since the older kids won’t be able to visit us in the hospital (my parents will be staying with them), I’m planning to prep a few things to add some delight to our time apart. For day one (delivery day!), I’ll buy a little cake in advance and leave out candles so they can celebrate her birthday that night. For day two, I’m thinking my parents will reveal a bath bomb (always a hit). And for day three, a new box of sidewalk chalk. No need to go overboard – kids delight in the smallest things! – but I think this will help them feel remembered and connected to us when we’re apart.
6. Let them in on the secret.As you know, my parents have been and will be staying with us right up to and through baby sister’s birth. This is wonderful and needed, and though the kids loooooove having their grandparents around, it’s also a change from their normal – and that can be a lot in a season of transition. I wanted to plan one final moment of bonding for our immediate family of four before baby sister’s arrival, and landed on a picnic the night before delivery day. We’ll go to a favorite playground, bring one of their favorite takeout meals, and…. we’ll tell them baby sister’s name.
That’s right, they do not know her name (they would FOR SURE let the cat out of the bag if we told them further in advance than this!). June, especially, has been asking me more frequently what it is, and I think it will make them feel very important and special to know the secret before anyone else.
So there you have it – what we have planned for the next few weeks to make the addition of a new sibling more seamless and joyful! If you’re anticipating welcoming a new baby to your family, I hope you might find a few ideas to try. And, if you’ve already added a sibling to your family, I’d love to hear in the comments what worked for you!
It’s been awhile since I wrote a Life Lately post, but we’ve had a number of smaller adventures recently that deserve their time in the sun! April and May have been sweet months to soak up our last few weeks as a family of four, knowing that things will get more complicated (but even sweeter!) soon enough.
The weather has been perfect – mild (mid-70s) and sunny for the most part. We’ve had several trips to the strawberry patch as well as lots of picnics around the Triangle, like at Bond Park for kite flying, the Raleigh Rose Garden to see the flowers, and all sorts of playgrounds.
We planted our garden – kale, basil, jalapeno, and lots of tomatoes (Patio, Sun Gold, Super Sweet 100, Celebrity, Husky Cherry Red). Below are the three pots that we planted for the first time last year. They were a huge part of getting us to our 1000 tomato count in 2020, so I’m expecting big things from these three!
We took our family photos with Ally! It’s… a lot to get everyone ready for photos, but we were SO lucky to have the most picture-perfect (literally) weather, and I cannot WAIT to see what she returns! Feeling very grateful to have this season of life professionally captured the last time around. And gosh, Ally is just about the sweetest person on earth. John was like, “do you think all photographers make you feel this good?” Ha!
On Mother’s Day weekend we drove north to Charlottesville to meet up with John’s sister and our brother-in-law, a reunion 1.5 years in the making thanks to COVID. Funny story: we headed up the mountain for a hike on Saturday morning. It was about 65 at our Airbnb, but by the time we got to the Humpback Rocks parking lot, off the Blue Ridge Parkway, it had plummeted to 49 (!). June was in the worst shape with shorts and a short-sleeve shirt, so after rummaging in the diaper bag I tossed her Shep’s emergency pair of (2T) sweatpants to see if she could squeeze into them. She could, though they looked a bit like European joggers, ha! Shep rocked his nap blanket like a cape for warmth.
We survived to enjoy some other Charlottesville highlights, too: MarieBette Bakery (incredible – we went twice!), walking around the UVA grounds (Joe is a double alum), dinner at Selvedge Brewery at the Wool Factory (SUCH a cool space with massive glass walls!), playing at Riverview Park and scooting along the Rivanna Trail, Crozet Pizza, and takeout from the Dairy Market (Take It Away sandwiches and Chimm Street pho).
Durham Bulls games are one of our very favorite spring and summer activities in the Triangle, and we were grateful to squeeze in a trip (to only their second home game of the season!) before the weather got too hot. Some benefits thanks to COVID: there was no one sitting anywhere near us, and concessions could all be ordered from an app (and they’d text you when it was ready!).
Last but certainly not least, I took the day off work on Friday to redeem one of June’s Christmas presents: pedicures and afternoon tea at Fearrington Village!
We had the most beautiful weather and enjoyed our pedicures, our tea, visiting the shops, goats, and gardens, and many hours of conversation. She is just the best little friend to spend time with and I love her so.
Clearly, the day took it out of her, ha!
I hope y’all have been enjoying this spring weather, too! Planning to use part of our Memorial Day weekend to make a summer bucket list and keep the fun rolling :)
For Christmas, June received the America’s Test Kitchen Complete Baking Book for Young Chefs from one set of grandparents. Inspired by the gift, she and I decided to bake something each week in the new year. For her, I hoped it would be a fun way to spend time together – and maybe gain some skills in the kitchen :) For me, I hoped it would be a way to set joy before us (per my 2021 goal) by slowing down; intentionally spending time in a hands-on, delightful way; and just enjoying each other. While we haven’t quite hit every week, we have hit most, and the practice has certainly brought joy to our family’s life.
To start, let me say that this cookbook is an ABSOLUTE SLAM DUNK. 95% of what we’ve made so far has not only been delicious, but literally the best version of whatever it is we made. (As in, the recipe for Chocolate Crinkle Cookies turned out the best chocolate crinkle cookies I’ve ever tasted!) I suppose this shouldn’t be a surprise, since America’s Test Kitchen has built a brand on perfecting recipes, but it’s still delightful to know that a kids’ baking book can be fun and engaging without scrimping on quality!
June is 5 and just starting to read, so baking from this book is very much a joint activity right now. Even still, I try to step back as much as possible in every way I can and let her lead. Things she has learned to do: identify measuring cups and spoons, scoop and level dry ingredients, pour and measure liquid ingredients, crack eggs, set the oven to the correct temperature, open the oven door and slide in baking trays, stir ingredients by hand, work the stand mixer, scoop muffins and drop cookies, knead dough, and shape pretzels, among other things.
Of course, she does all of these things imperfectly (except measure baking soda – she’s quite an expert at that!). Everything takes longer. EVERYTHING is messy. Egg shells get in the batter. Flour gets on the counter and on the floor. Ingredients get spilled and wasted. Friends, the physical mess is HARD for me. Like, exposing-my-weaknesses-as-a-parent-ouch hard. In that way, it’s been a humbling but worthwhile exercise in growing in patience – because she is watching to see how I react when she spills something. Do I show frustration? Do I speak sharply?
Depending on my mood and how the day is going, those often feel like my natural reactions. But I try VERY hard (and usually succeed!) to instead say, “That’s okay! Let’s try again” or “That’s okay! Let’s clean it up together.” This does not necessarily come naturally to me, but it is absolutely worth the effort. (Cheesy but true: the times she’s looked up from stirring to say, “I love baking with you, Mama” make any wiped-up spill worth it.)
I’m also not the only one gaining skills. June sees I trust her and believe in her (even with something as simple as measuring an ingredient!) and that I view her as a capable partner, and that has built her confidence inside the kitchen and out.
All in all, baking has been such a joy for us this year! My mama heart hopes our time together is making memories that she’ll remember with happiness, and that we’ll add to for years to come.
To finish, a few of the favorite recipes we’ve made from the cookbook: — Simple Cream Scones (the very first recipe we made – SO good!) — Cinnamon Rolls (I normally don’t love a decadent cinnamon roll, but these were yummy!) — Soft Pretzels (very fun to shape and they turned out delicious!) — Chocolate Crinkle Cookies (SO GOOD – John’s favorite thing we’ve made this year!) — Chewy Brownies (I’d never made brownies from scratch – delicious! Though honestly, Betty Crocker’s are delicious, too :)) — Chocolate Cupcakes with Nutella Frosting (gah SO GOOD) — Cake Pops (one of June’s favorite projects!)
We’ve also made Half-Baked Harvest’s Chocolate Banana Bread several times, and have plans to make Elisabeth & Butter’s Strawberry Cake this weekend with our most recent haul of berries!
Friends, I’d love to hear: if you have children, what’s an activity you love to do together? Or, what’s an activity you remember doing with your mom or dad growing up? If you have any questions about baking with a five-year-old, I’ll answer those, too :)
