I appreciate this post, because sharing it with you lights a fire under me to make decisions – instead of waffling for weeks! If you’re looking for real ideas for what to give your kids for Christmas this year, I hope this year’s post will be as helpful for you as it was for me :) As always, John and I tried hard to follow the fewer, better ethos when choosing gifts. None of us need more stuff, but we hope the things we’ve chosen will delight our kids, light up their imaginations, and help them feel seen and loved.
Here’s what each of our kiddos will be finding under the tree this year!
Photo from Annie’s newborn session by Graham – coming soon!
June (who is almost six) will be receiving: — An American Girl doll and an overnight trip with mama to pick her out at the AG store in Charlotte. To be honest, I’ve had so much angst over this! As a child of the 90’s, my American Girl doll was extremely beloved. The brand has changed a lot since then, and so it’s hard to know what parameters, if any, to set up around which doll June can pick (i.e. should I have her choose a historical doll? But the worlds aren’t as built-out as they were in my day…) And what if in the end she doesn’t play with her? It’s an expensive gift, but more importantly, would that wreck me emotionally?! So many swirly thoughts. But we’re going for it, and if nothing else, I know we will have the best time on our little trip together. — This diner set and a calculator machine, because she’s always writing orders on post-its and sticking them on the side of our counter like a short-order cook. — A stuffie alicorn. This was a very specific request. For those of you not in the loop, alicorns are unicorns with wings – and that’s the stuffed animal she wanted. (I was able to snag this with a gift card, which was a double win!) — Gabby’s Dollhouse figurines. She really wanted the actual Gabby’s Dollhouse dollhouse (as prominently featured in the Amazon catalog), but I’m hoping these ones will be almost as good in the dollhouse she already has! — Personalized stationery and a custom notepad, because she loves to use mine. (I used a 20% off plus free ship code from a Minted postcard I received in the mail – maybe it will work for you, too? C2H3DEZYA!)
Shep (who is about 3 1/2) will be receiving: — Tickets to ride on the Amtrak train from Durham to Raleigh, and lunch at Brewery Bhavana. I think the $8 per ticket will be well spent :) — This Picasso Tiles base plate set, because he loves to build castles and fire stations and parking garages. — A flashlight for his room, so he can be like his big sister. — New sneakers, because his daddy thinks it’s time for some fly kicks. — A shopping cart, because he is VERY into all things play food right now. Happy to have gotten this on sale for Cyber Monday!
Other ideas I gave to relatives: a Dustbuster (yes, really), a train set for around the Christmas tree, a toy leaf blower, and this castle tent that he picked out from perusing a catalog.
Annie (who is about 5 months) will be receiving: …absolutely nothing from us, ha! As a third baby and a second girl, she needs nothing and would not appreciate anything we got her :) We will be getting her a few things for her stocking (a teether from a local shop, maybe some moccs), and grandparents will be getting her a Boat & Tote with her name embroidered like her siblings, but that’s it from our end!
Finally, June and Shep will be receiving a joint gift: a Yoto player from my parents. June has been asking to listen to audio books during quiet time, and I love that this is a simple, screen-free option. And so many of you have raved about it! My Mom snagged it during Target’s 25% off one toy promotion earlier this year – a lucky score.
Below, tell me what you’re getting your kiddos this year — I love hearing your shopping lists!
Shopping for other ages? The gifts we gave to a 5-year-old girl and a 2.5-year-old boy. The gifts we gave to a 4-year-old girl and a 1.5-year-old boy.
There are many ways to tell every story, and just as many ways to make meaning out of one. And so, as I thought about how to share the story of Annie’s birth here, as I twisted the memories from side to side, looking for what caught the light, I’ve come to decide that the story of our youngest daughter’s birth is above all a story of God’s faithfulness, His kindness, and His mystery. I would love to tell you about it.
Annie’s birth was my third c-section. To quickly recap: June, our first daughter, was delivered by c-section because she was breech. With Shep, I had the choice to attempt a VBAC or schedule another c-section. I planned to attempt a VBAC, but made it to my scheduled day with no signs of labor, and so delivered him by c-section, too. With a third baby at my practice, you no longer get a choice, so a third c-section it was!
I was a little nervous about this, because I had heard c-sections get harder with each subsequent one, but honestly was mostly relieved that I wouldn’t have to spend the whole pregnancy agonizing over whether to attempt a VBAC or not, as I did with Shep. And I had had two positive experiences with c-section deliveries and recoveries, so that was comforting!
One strange element of a scheduled c-section is that you get to choose your child’s birthday. As my due date approached, we compared the dates on the calendar to the doctors from my practice on call and debated the merits of various birthdays. In the end, it came down to either Thursday, July 8, or Monday, July 12. Those were the dates with my second and third favorite doctors (my first favorite, who delivered Shep, was not on call for the month of July!). We debated whether less-experienced nurses would be on during the holiday week. We discussed that a Fourth-of-July-week baby would be fun and festive. We looked at our work schedules. We considered proximity to John’s birthday (July 15th!). And we debated whether a few extra days might be just the time we needed to get John off crutches.
We eventually decided on July 8th. This time around, we didn’t need to worry about parents coming into town to watch our older kiddos, because they were already there! My parents had been staying with us for several weeks at that point to help care for all of us as John recovered and I progressed further and further into pregnancy.
And so we enjoyed our last few weeks as a family of four: a final date night to Mandolin, my niece staying with us to attend pony camp with June, our town’s Fourth of July parade, and, on the night before Annie’s delivery, a special picnic at one of our favorite parks with just the four of us. We ate pizza, the kids ran around, and we told them their sister’s name. It was special and sweet.
The next morning, we got up, took showers, finished packing our bags, hugged two sleepy kids, and left the house under a gray sky. We checked in at the Labor & Delivery wing at 6:30am for my 9:30am surgery, and after filling out a few last pieces of paperwork, were ushered to our room. Except… it wasn’t the room we were expecting. Instead of turning right to the Labor hall, as we had for June and Shep’s births, we were pointed left toward the surgical prep area.
And here, friends, is where we circle back to the primacy of expectations. Over and over again (and especially throughout pregnancy and my life as a parent), I have seen the power of expectations play out. When I have low expectations, I leave room for them to be happily exceeded. When I have high expectations, I leave room to be bitter and disappointed.
I made a particular point throughout my second and third pregnancies, and both newborn phases, to keep my expectations very neutral, and I really believe it was a key to my happiness throughout. I thought I had my hands open this time, too, but, as it turns out, not in the way I needed to.
Because the room we were ushered into was not the beautiful, comfortable, hotel-like room where we’d prepared for Shep and June’s births. No, this was a cold, empty, gray, windowless room with a narrow, hard, gurney-like bed. In my memory, it had a single crackling bulb dangling from the ceiling (that’s probably an exaggeration, ha). And friends, when the nurse closed the door after depositing us inside, I admit that I started to cry. And cried on and off for the next hour or so.
This is embarrassing to admit, no matter which way you look at it. As John gently reminded me, women have given, and still give, birth in circumstances orders of magnitude less clean, less comfortable, less safe. I had absolutely nothing to complain about, but, well, there it is. There I was. As I look back, I think a few things were at play:
Aesthetics matter to me. Lighting matters to me. A beautiful, comfortable space can lift my spirits and set me at ease, and a cold, harsh one can do the opposite. My emotions were already running high, knowing what was to come that day, and I think they went a little haywire when plunged into an unexpectedly harsh environment.
Something going off-script so early in the morning also sent me into a bit of a tailspin. If this was different, what else might have changed about the hospital’s policies? What else did I need to worry about or readjust my expectations on for the rest of the day?
Lastly and most significantly, being sent to this solitary, bare, out-of-the-way room made me feel less-than.
I know so many women battle feelings of inferiority when comparing their c-section births to “natural” ones, and thankfully, I had never really felt that way about either of mine. They were what I needed and resulted in healthy babies and a healthy mom, and that was good enough for me.
But to be put in this sad room, far away from all of the “normal” moms on the labor floor, made this feel far from a birth experience. It felt clinical. Surgical. None of the hustle and bustle, the cheerfulness, the light and warmth of the labor floor, the sense that exciting, wonderful things were happening all around us.
So yes, I cried. More than I’d like to admit – a hot concoction of frustration, confusion, anger, shame, and embarrassment. And I prayed. And finally, I slept. And when I woke up, God was gracious to give me a new lightness. I could joke with John about our surroundings, text with our families, follow the track of Tropical Storm Elsa (the eye was right over the hospital when I was in the operating room!), enjoy watching Wimbledon on the TV. I didn’t even mind the first few times our nurse popped her head in to let us know our surgery slot was being pushed back – from 9:30, to 10:30, to noon – and I was able to enjoy the now-familiar rhythms of c-section prep: meeting with the anesthesiologist, chatting with my doctor, getting a stomach bath, drinking the nasty liquid.
Finally, around 1:30pm, I was wheeled back to the surgery bay, John walking gingerly alongside. (Yes! He was cleared to walk in his boot without crutches just a day or two before her birth, though he still used them to get around most of the time.) As before, John and I parted ways at the surgery suite door so he could put on his gear and I could receive the epidural. Soon enough he appeared at my side, squeezing my hand.
One thing I was adamant about this time around was that I wanted worship music to be playing in the delivery room. As the surgery began and John pushed play on the songs I had put together, tears started to trickle down both sides of my face. He was, of course, worried when he saw this, and I remember saying, “No, no, it’s okay, they’re good tears, they’re good tears.”
In that moment, I was completely overwhelmed by the goodness of God. I was here, I was alive. My husband, the absolute love of my life, was at my side. I had two amazing, healthy babies waiting for me at home. I was about to meet our third baby and I just couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms.
I thought about the worries I had sustained in all three of my pregnancies, how I didn’t have to worry about those things anymore. I thought about how lucky I was that I even got to have a third baby. I thought about how grateful I was for this season of my life, of carrying and giving birth to our babies, how grateful I was to have been invited into this miracle and mystery three times over. How could I not cry? I’m tearing up now.
I said this was a story about God’s goodness and God’s mystery, and it is. I don’t know why I am so lucky. I don’t know why others are not. But I can assign the goodness and faithfulness of our story to God, because He is good and faithful, even when the circumstances are not. It’s what I’ve chosen to build my life on. The song that was playing when Annie was born was so fitting:
“There’s so much that I don’t see But I see You, but I see You And there’s so much that I don’t know But I know You, but I know You And there’s so much that I don’t understand But I have seen Your goodness And it’s just enough, that I’ll
Bet all I have on You, I bet all I have on You I bet all I have on You, I bet all I have on You ‘Cause only a fool would find real love and just give it up I bet all I have on You, I bet all I have on You.”
Our daughter was born at 2:26pm and weighed just over 7 pounds. She had a head full of dark hair (still does!) and looked absolutely horrified to find herself in such a bright room. They kept her in the warmer for longer than I remember June and Shep being there, but she and I got to snuggle as they finished the surgery (which was smooth and uneventful – just how we like them :)) Soon enough, we were wheeled out into the surgery hallway, where we were monitored for another two hours or so before scooting over to the family recovery floor (thankfully, the same lovely rooms that we were in after both other births!).
In the months since, she has lived up to the promise of her birth – she is a true sign of God’s goodness and faithfulness, the sweetest and most precious baby girl. I’m so grateful for her story, and as always, for getting to share a bit of it with you. xo
If you’re anything like me, your internet life is absolutely awash in gift guides right about now. I have NEVER seen them this early and in such force. Not without reason, but still – I kind of feel I’m drowning in them.
And here’s the thing about gift guides – though I scour them compulsively, 80% of the ideas in most are immediate nos for me. Even in the very best ones, only 50% or so are even worth considering at all.
And yet – I still read them, because sometimes all you need is just one gift that perfectly speaks to your loved one. I hope you find a few of those special things in my gift guides for 2021. Most of the ideas are pulled from items we own and love, have gifted, or have enjoyed at the home of a loved one.
Over the next few weeks, I plan to share a gift guide for your favorite grown-ups, one for stocking stuffers, my personal wish list, and the actual gifts we’re getting our three kiddos this year.
Today: kids!
Gifts for your favorite babies:
I like to keep gifts for babies (and their parents!) simple and practical. My best suggestions are in my “favorites” series – see here for gifts for babies at six weeks, five months, eight months, one year, and fifteen months.
Gifts for your favorite toddlers and preschoolers:
— A big box of colorful Duplos (hugely used by our kids for so many years) — A set of MagnaTiles, because yes, they’re as good as everyone says they are. If you already have a set, add an extension like the cars or the bases. (MagnaTiles and PicassoTiles are interchangeable!) — A sweet felt outer space and planets set — A play kitchen (unsurprisingly, PB has gorgeous ones) + play food (anything Melissa & Doug is perfection!) — A Micro Kickboard scooter. These are hands-down the best scooters – we’ve gifted them to both of our kids around age 2, 3-4 is the sweet spot, and June still enjoys riding hers at almost 6 although she more often rides her Razor, which the grandparents got her. — A sweet princess-inspired dress that’s fun for dress-up but simple enough to wear to school. June has the Aurora! — A mini shopping cart. It makes sense that these are metal because they are absolute magnets for kids of all sizes. — Horse leggings (soooo many cute options from Boden!) — Alice & Ames dresses, because they are the twirliest with the best patterns (this is my favorite print right now!)
— A comfy pillow for her bed so she can cozy up and read (we got this one for June when she started kindergarten!) — A baking set: the prettiest pink baking sheet, a pale blue cutting board, confetti tools, the best baking book, and/or a Liberty of London apron — A flexible book light for reading in bed (this sunshine one is also cute!) — A bold “read more books” pennant for his room (lots more options here!) — This very adorable hand-drawn coloring book — A framed story map from her favorite book (so many amazing options: Hogwarts, Chronicles of Narnia, Anne of Green Gables, the Hundred Acre Wood…) — A bike (we LOVE June’s Priority Start!) — Walkie talkies. I think our kids would be obsessed with these. — A sweet shirt with a sweeter message from a company started by a teen with autism — A Kiwi Co subscription. This is a perfect grandparent gift. June (5, almost 6) looooves her Kiwi boxes and can do them independently. Shep (3) just started receiving the Koala crate and he loves being like big sister. June or a parent needs to help him complete his projects. — A game you can play together: try Cover Your Assets, Ticket to Ride, or Boggle (more ideas here!) — A Highlights magazine subscription — Personalized stationery like this colorful shadow text set or this firetruck set. (June would also LOVE the monogrammed notepad from this same shop.) — Piccolina has the sweetest tees and dresses inspired by trailblazing women — Bike wheel lights. We’ve gifted these to several nieces and nephews and they are always a hit! — This stunning set of The Chronicles of Narnia. Expensive but WOW what a statement (and no better books to splurge on!) — Our favorite type of gift: an experience. Try tickets to a game or show (even a high school musical or college basketball game!); a membership to a museum, zoo, or aquarium; a ride on a local train; a tea + pedicure date; or movie tickets.
Gifts for your favorite teens and babysitters (mostly girls, let’s be honest):
— The happiest mugs — An instax camera with extra film and LED photo string lights (this is what we got our high school babysitters who helped us all spring and summer when school was closed and it was a HIT!) — Or this instax smartphone printer (for a heftier gift!) — A disco ball. We have one of these in the CWM office, and June is OB-sessed. So maybe also a great gift pick for your five-year-old? — A stack of pretty pastel bracelets (June – and I – would also enjoy these! The perfect gift for everyone, ha!) — Maghon’s Happy Hand Lettering book — A paint-your-own keychain kit. We did these at work – so fun! — Or a classic O key ring — A book of Catherine Newman’s life advice for teens (love her writing so much!) — A very cool, very beautiful rainbow basketball — The best socks — A monogrammed toiletry bag like this bold striped one — A Herschel wallet (this is the one John has!) — An Eno hammock — Our favorite type of gift: an experience. Try tickets to a game or show; a creative class; a barre or workout class or membership; a tea + pedicure date; movie tickets; Top Golf; or a jump park.
Whew! I hope that’s helpful! I’ve rounded up a bunch of ideas, but remember, kids don’t need much to be happy – in our family, we’ve actually found that too many gifts can be overwhelming and dull the whole experience. So choose wisely, and with joy – giving our kids good gifts is a really fun part of being a parent! :)
Hope you all had happy Halloweens, friends! Before I share my November goals, I thought I’d pop in with a quick post on our DIY family Halloween costume – the weather!
Most people who know John know he is an amateur weatherman. It is probably his main hobby – researching weather, looking at all the apps and websites, listening to podcasts and periscopes, following weather people on Twitter. Obviously, he is the go-to guy for any weather-related questions in our circle of family and friends! So when it was time to choose a family costume this year, this was a perfect pick.
But it took us a bit to land on it… June’s first suggestion for our family was the Frozen cast. I know it’s a popular one, but I didn’t feel like we had a strong-enough connection to the movie for it to be meaningful for us. When I gently explained this to her, she said, “Oh, that’s okay. I know: we can all be My Little Ponies!!” Oops, ha.
In order to not subject Shep to dressing up as Twilight Sparkle, I knew I had to come up with something good. Weather popped to mind – I had saved this costume concept from Studio DIY years ago because I knew it would be a good fit for our family – and when I dangled a rainbow costume in front of June she latched on hook, line, and sinker. And the rest unfolded from there! If you’d like to try your own weather costume in the future, here are a few details!
DIY Rainbow Halloween Costume
This was probably my favorite of the bunch – I was so happy with how it came together! We started with a rainbow dress from Hanna Andersson and added a rainbow sash to the top. For the sash, I bought tulle in a rainbow of colors, cut it into strips, and stitched them on (I just cut the stitches at the end of the night to turn it back into her normal dress!). She wore pink leggings and pink sparkly shoes she already had. We did her hair in two high buns and pinned in some white cotton stuffing for “clouds.” The final touch? A rainbow of face glitter (her favorite part, for sure!).
DIY Lightning Halloween Costume
For the most part, I like to keep it simple for the parent costumes. I used yellow reflective tape to make lightning bolts on a black shirt, and John wore gray pants he already owned. He played a noise loop of a rainstorm with thunder and lightning on his phone all evening as we walked around, ha!
DIY Rain Cloud Halloween Costume
I wore this white shirt, this light blue dotted skirt, and navy shoes – all items I already owned. My biggest moment was carrying a clear umbrella studded with felt rain drops, including ones suspended from the rim with fishing line.
DIY Tornado Halloween Costume
No costume could be more perfect for a three-year-old boy than a tornado, amiright? :) Shep’s costume was definitely the roughest of the bunch – I wasn’t positive I could get him into it if I created it beforehand, so I opted to construct it on him… and then I remembered little boys don’t like to stand still, and then we were running late, and then I ran out of hot glue AND staples in the course of making it (!!).
The basic construction was a tomato cage with one rung cut off with duct tape straps across the top to rest on his shoulders. I wrapped strips of cotton batting and gray tulle from top to bottom. I was planning to taper the shape more and twist it off to the side to create more of a funnel, and add little farm animals with hot glue, but alas, supplies and time were not on my side.
In the end, it was tough for him to move in and the metal was banging into his shins, so we shed the cage midway through the night and just wrapped the tulle over his gray shirt and joggers to turn him into a storm cloud :)
And of course, twisting up his hair with a little paste to mimic a stiff wind was the best part.
DIY Sunshine Halloween Costume
Sweet Annie, the very epitome of sunshine, joined us in a yellow onesie (I hot glued on an orange heart!) and yellow leggings. I bought a half-round foam circle from Joann, painted it yellow, hot glued on triangles cut from stiff yellow and orange felt, and hot glued the whole thing onto a headband she already owned. She could even wear the ensemble in her stroller!
There you have it – hope the weather is fine wherever you are today! :)
