Ever since I completed up my 60 Before 30 project, I’ve been considering options for a new iteration. My experience with longer-term goal sets has been overwhelmingly positive; I love allowing them to shape and mark a chunk of my life!

But how to theme it? 65 Before 35 just didn’t sound as jazzy. As I pruned and shaped my collection of ideas for a potential next list, and considered what our life is likely to look like for the next few years, an idea began to take shape.

The driving force in our family right now is paying off our mortgage*. We expect this to happen in the next three to six years, depending on the market’s performance, and until then, we will be making some aggressive trade-offs and sacrifices – forgoing vacations, reducing our grocery budget, delaying clothing purchases, cooking at home, (almost) never going to the movies, not purchasing alcohol, and more.

We believe the freedom of owning our home will be more than worth it, but we’re also not willing to put our young family’s life on hold for the next five years, eating PB&J every night and spending only the absolute minimum.

And here’s the thing: we’re convinced we don’t need to. The fact is, there are amazing amounts of fun and memories to be had for very few dollars. In fact, I’d argue that this list gets at the very best parts of life, the ones we’ll continue to chase long after we’ve put our mortgage to rest: the patience to move slowly, the softness to be delighted, rich and agile minds, deep relationships, confidence in our own ingenuity, a deepening bench of skills, and – above all – golden-hued memories. If these things aren’t luxury, I don’t know what is.

Each item below was carefully chosen, for reasons that may not be immediately clear. Some are unusual, some are pedestrian, and many you might never think to raise to the level of being put “on a list.” You might find it amusing that I included them at all, or worse, Not Fun.

Am I “flattening things that should be enjoyable into tasks“? Am I not fun??

Perhaps not. I am a creature of habit, and despite my best intentions, it’s easy for life to become routine. So, just like we put extra mortgage payments into our budget instead of hoping to stumble upon “extra” sums of money, I am intentionally setting out to create the conditions for delight instead of hoping delight will somehow shoehorn its way into my full life, with the financial constraints we are voluntarily putting on it. What we prioritize, happens. It’s always taken someone’s effort to plan the picnic, organize the lake day, or flip bunny-shaped pancakes. Just because something has been considered and planned doesn’t make it any less magical.

Alright. After that very lengthy preamble, I present to you…

Start: February 28, 2019
End: ??? (Somewhere between 2022 and 2025!)
Items completed: 16
Last updated: July 2022

1. Host a croquet tournament
2. Make potstickers with Mama Jean (December 2021)
3. Teach June the Lord’s Prayer (March 2019)
4. Make a month-by-month landscape tending list
5. Go trail riding at the farm with my family
6. Visit Hammocks Beach State Park (June 2022)
7. Camp at Grayson Highlands
8. Take June to a local high school’s musical (April 2022)
9. Complete a month of thank you notes
10. Host Chinese New Year fun for friends
11. Dance at a ceili
12. Go to BINGO as a family (July 2019)
13. Undertake a nature scavenger hunt for each season (spring 2020)
14. Spend two weeks in a row at the Island
15. Update our Advent calendar with our home’s colors
16. Eat at Waffle House (epic late-night visit with some of my dear coworkers in August 2019!)
17. Go swimming in a mountain lake
18. Host a book swap party (July 2019)
19. Work on a Habitat build
20. Take June to tea at the Carolina Inn or Fearrington (May 2021)
21. Order historical photo albums to get us up to date (2005-2009, 2010-2014, 2015-2019)
22. Enter something in the State Fair
23. Square dance at our town’s arts center
24. Lake day with the Rays
25. Buy bunting to hang on our home for patriotic holidays
26. Listen to all of the Harry Potter books
27. Finish my EFM guide to the Triangle
28. Host a pie party
29. Become an expert at French braiding June’s hair (officially given up on my own)
30. Lead another service at the Island (July 2022)
31. Watch a review at the CGA and go to lunch at the Officers’ Club
32. Take another family on an outdoor souffle adventure
33. Do a home swap with a friend or acquaintance in a place we want to visit
34. Make a new neighborhood BFF couple
35. Put together an ice cream sundae bar, just for us (August 2019)
36. Commission a special art print and give one copy to each family member
37. Take June to her first outdoor movie and pack excellent snacks
38. Organize another Great Island Race
39. Do something with the upstairs bathroom (shared February 2021!)
40. Host a chocolate chip cookie taste-off
41. Touch up the paint throughout our home
42. Teach June to sing patriotic songs
43. Go to rooftop yoga at The Durham with friends (April 2019, with Lisa)
44. Make “For God so loved ____” art for June and Shep
45. Golf as a family at Knight’s Play
46. Take the train somewhere (May 2019 – to Charlotte with June!)
47. Hike another bald
48. Have a full family sleepover with the Rays
49. Teach June to jump rope, trace her body with chalk, and play hopscotch and Spud
50. Finish the path in our alley
51. Plant lots of daffodil bulbs in our backyard
52. Memorize a favorite poem
53. Learn to cut June’s hair (and John’s and Shep’s – May 2020!)
54. Borrow a canoe and go on an adventure
55. Get back in a regular rhythm of playing tennis with the Terhunes
56. Party it up in a glow stick bath
57. Make a better display for my jewelry
58. Real estalk and visit the playground in Trinity Park
59. Explore Morehead Planetarium
60. Introduce June to the art of painted toe nails (May 2019!)

Many of these cost no money. Some cost more than that. More importantly, they all require our attention, capacity for delight, and thoughtfulness. I hope to get to tell many of these stories over the next few years, but if you’re particularly curious about one, by all means – ask away!

*As you may have gathered, we have changed our approach to paying off our mortgage. A Marvelous Money post addressing the topic is coming soon! :)

We celebrated our fourteenth dativersary this week. Can you believe it? Three more years, and we’ll have spent as much time together in this life as we have apart. We are the luckiest.

For all that has been written about the “emotional labor” and disproportionate household tasks that fall on women, I have been feeling super grateful lately for the little things John does to keep our household (and lives!) running smoothly. These aren’t tasks that would make their way onto a chore chart – though he does plenty of those, too – and they can so easily be taken for granted. I don’t want to do that, so I’m celebrating a few of them here. My sweet husband…

…refills our humidifiers
…washes and sanitizes bottles and pump parts every night
…packs our leftovers into John and Emily lunch-size portions after dinner
…stops our mail before every trip
…empties our robot vacuum after each tour of duty
…replaces my toothbrush head however often you’re supposed to do that
…finds and plugs my phone in to charge every night
…serves as my personal alarm clock every morning
…adjusts the thermostat to our preferred temperature upon waking and retiring
…makes June’s breakfast and fills her water bottle before school
…remembers to put our bath mat in the wash every so often
…keeps the nails of four members of our household trimmed (not including me, for the record)
…and replaces all the toilet paper, everywhere, always.

Notice a small thing today, friends, and thank someone for it :)

P.S. Our love story and five intentions.

A picture from our first summer together, above :)

If your male loved one is anything like mine, he gives you little direction on gifts – but is happy with anything you choose! Here, a few favorites that we’ve either gifted or gotten in the past that might become beloved in your family, too.

A. At-home whetstone | I’m no kitchen expert, but we have one of these and it seems to do a great job sharpening our knives with little effort!
B. Simple Wealth, Inevitable Wealth | A cult favorite in the finance community – one of the most successful self-published books of all time!
C. Landmark tees | John loves these soft tees, and with all their sharp-looking designs you’re sure to find a national treasure your guy loves.
D. Guitar hook | I’ve written about these before – so classy and useful if there’s a guitar in your home!
E. Work bag | This was my early Christmas gift to John this year, in celebration of his new job. I think it strikes a nice balance between youthful and professional!
F. Star spangled spatula | I know at least one patriotic husband who would really enjoy flipping burgers with this.
G. Leather work gloves | Made in the USA and handsome for house projects.
H. Ring door bell | To help him feel confident his beloved family is safe! :)
I. Fruit & nut clusters | John’s parents buy these for us every year, and they are DANGEROUS. So delicious!
J. Paring knife | John’s parents also put these in one of our stockings one year, and we’ve been hooked ever since! They’re perfect to take on a picnic, since they’re compact, super-sharp, and come with a plastic sheath.
K. Stowaway chair | If you love going to outdoor concerts or movies, these low-slung, reclined folding chairs are perfect!
L. Striped tie | I never really understood why people included ties on gift guides until John started a job where he needs to wear a suit every day. Now I get it :)
M. Southern honey | We visited Asheville Bee Charmer’s honey tasting bar this fall and John thought it was pretty much the coolest thing ever. His favorites were the sourwood and acacia, but you can’t go wrong with any flavor!
N. Socks | I’ve written before that one of John’s very favorite gifts is a good pair of socks. I also like these, these, and these!
O. Bottle opener | To coordinate with his spatula :)
P. Camping cookbook | For the backyard or deep in the woods. Add these roasting sticks for a complete gift!
Q. Pennant | I feel like this would be neat in John’s office, but fear he might find it too hipster :) Maybe your guy would think differently?

Of course, I also love giving experiential gifts – tickets to a game or a show, dinner out, an indoor skydiving place gift card… the options are endless :)

I hope this is helpful!!

2018 Guides:
Sisters, Moms, and Best Friends
Parents, In-Laws, and Grandparents

P.S. I’ve written two other guy gift guides over the years and still love all of the picks – here and here!

Ah, some of the most difficult people to shop for… no extensive commentary because we’re headed for more family time, but I wanted to get these ideas your way while the sales are hot! More picks for your favorite parents, grandparents, and in-laws here!

Hope you all had wonderful Thanksgivings!!

A. Floral pitcher | Adding this to my own wish list… would look so pretty with hydrangeas in the summer.
B. Photo calendar | Minted does it again! And you can get this for FREE when you save ten dates in their system?!
C. Market basket | My mom would use this for her yoga mat and water bottle or as a stylish farmer’s market tote!
D. Trekking poles | If your in-laws are big hikers like mine! Also on Amazon.
E. Moviepass | Watch 3 movies of their choice in theaters per month for $10!
F. PowerSheets | I know PowerSheets are more commonly thought of as being for 20- or 30-somethings, but I think they’re actually PERFECT for empty nesters.
G. Subscription to The Sill | This service is so neat – house plants delivered to your loved one’s doorstep every month, in beautiful pots!
H. Bell buoy bell | Have a lover of New England coastline in your family? These beauties will transport them back to the ocean with every chime.
I. USB wall charger | File this one under “things your parents didn’t know existed but will be really excited to discover.”
J. Floret puzzle | A 500-piece beauty from two of Erin’s iconic photos!
K. Vanity Fair’s Proust Questionnaire | Would be such a fun coffee table book.
L. Butter keeper | People are evangelistic about these things. I think my parents would love one! Also this pretty marble version.
M. Tartan dessert plates | These would be an instant family classic.
N. NY Times crossword puzzle book | Pick the day of the week difficulty level – just make sure it’s edited by Will Shortz!
O. Tartan throw | Finally, a cozy blanket to bring holiday charm.

Now, back to my own Black Friday shopping! :)

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