Today I want to chat about a topic I don’t think I’ve ever seen covered on a blog: how to organize and simplify your own childhood memorabilia. There are plenty of resources out there for streamlining your kids’ stuff, but how about those of us still drowning in our own memories even while trying to organize memories for our kiddos? I’ve got some thoughts and a few things that have worked for me, and thought I’d share them today!

When I moved to North Carolina almost ten years ago (!), I had no idea how long I’d be here, or how long I’d be in my new apartment. I packed my UHaul with my clothes, furniture, some books, and some decor from my parents’ house, but left the vast majority of everything I didn’t use on a daily basis in my room at home. (Thank you, parents, for being okay with that!!)

Over the next few years, whenever I went home to visit, I would make a point to spend a little time sorting through what was left in my room: clothes, binders and notebooks from school, old toys, decor. Little by little, I got rid of what no longer had meaning to me and was better able to take inventory of what was left.

Likewise, every time my parents drove to North Carolina, they would bring a load of my stuff. With each new delivery, I’d sit down and sort through the pile, again keeping only what had meaning to me.

How did I decide what had meaning to me? I know a lot of people keep things because they think their kids might want to look at them someday, but that is not the driving force for me. Sure, there are some things I would love to share with my kiddos down the line if they express interest. For me, though, the reason I keep things is to remind myself of my story. “Finding a career” advice often encourages us to think back to our childhood passions, as they’re supposed to point us in the direction of our life’s purpose.

That is definitely true for me. One of the greatest passions of my life is writing, and I LOVE being reminded of how early this passion started for me and all the ways it grew throughout the years. Accordingly, one thing I’ll never give up is the picture book I wrote in second grade. The story was basically a rewrite of my favorite chapter book at the time (ha), but it was the first time I remember someone taking a special interest in this part of my identity: my teacher had the book laminated and bound, and she even sent it to the principal to read (who wrote a note in the back!).

As you all know, I am not very sentimental, but am HUGE on the power of stories. At their best, any mementos I keep remind me of who I am, what I’ve overcome, and where I’ve triumphed. They aren’t clutter; they bring me joy.

To summarize, here are my best tips if you’re staring down your own pile of stuff:

1. If possible, start early (before you have kids!). I’m so thankful I started early, because I had a LOT more free time on my hometown visits before June arrived, and a lot more time to sort through piles once back home!
2. If you aren’t sure, keep it. This might be controversial advice, and if you’re having a hard time letting go of anything at all, please disregard. But, if you’re making good progress and are just hung up on a few items, I would suggest you keep them. Purging can be a gradual process, and there’s usually no need to torture yourself to let something go if you’re not ready, even if you don’t think anyone would understand why you’re keeping the thing. You can always get rid of it in a few years if it’s no longer meaningful to you :)
3. Have a reason for what you keep. This is the necessary follow-up to tip number two! If you’re putting something in the “save” pile, try to articulate why you’re keeping it. It could be as simple as the thing brings you joy, but it shouldn’t be because you feel like you need to keep it or people would judge you if you let it go.
4. Don’t be afraid to purge gradually. For me, sorting through memorabilia isn’t a one-and-done thing. Whenever I have the itch to streamline or want to clear out a little more space, I go back through my things and cull a bit more. It usually ends up being every 2-4 years for a major look-through, with little trims off the edges here and there. For example, my Irish step dancing trophies hung on through several early rounds of purging. I kept all but the most significant trophies for a few more years, and then last year, I decided I was at peace about letting those go, too.
5. Take ownership. Out of sight, out of mind, right? If you’re lucky enough to have parents who have stored your stuff over the years, it’s so easy to just avoid the situation altogether. But that’s not fair to your parents, and it’s not fair to you, either! Get it into your own house so you’re forced to deal with it.

Once I slimmed down my entire collection to just the things I loved, I made a simple storage system. Currently, I have three big boxes and three little boxes in our guest room closet.

Big boxes:
— Middle school and younger: report cards, “books” I wrote, school pictures, newspaper clippings, dance memorabilia, a story journal my Dad and I used to pass back and forth, diaries…
— College: my acceptance letter, favorites papers I wrote, event programs, graduation cards, volumes of the literary journal I was published in…
— Random: this box could probably stand to be culled but includes a bunch of the mixed CDs John made me in our early years of dating, my four high school yearbooks, a scrapbook of our first year of dating, and the DVD of my final Irish dancing show, among other things

Little boxes:
— High school: commencement program, newspaper clippings, AP exam results (ha), my diploma, programs from events…
— Our wedding: one of each piece in our paper suite, my bouquet ribbon, particularly meaningful cards we were sent, our wedding film DVD, our wedding photo CD, our newspaper announcement…
— Our life together: LOTS of notes we’ve written each other over the years, notes from friends, souvenirs from our honeymoon, a small painting of our cats, a copy of each of our Christmas cards, my baby shower invitation…

You might want to keep more or less than I have – and that’s totally fine, as long as it aligns with what you value and you have the space for it! :)

Friends, I would love to hear: is this something you struggle with? Where are you in the process of getting your own childhood things in order? What system have you landed on?

Happy Tuesday, friends! I apologize that we don’t have a new How We Do It installment for y’all today – Nancy is majorly under the weather, and since this week’s topic is one we feel so passionately about, we figured it was better to postpone than push posts out that weren’t up to snuff! The whole series is shifting back one week, so keep an eye out for our thoughts on organizing our work next Tuesday.

In the meantime, I have something fun for you. I was reading through some of my own 2017 survey responses recently as I helped my friend Rhi put her blog survey together, and it was so helpful to remind myself of the types of content y’all said you loved most!

One of those topics was home design. It’s not something I get to talk about terribly often as, though we have grand plans, we generally move at a snail’s pace :) But, I’ve been thinking through some fairly major changes I’d like to make to our living room over the next year or so, and I thought it would be fun to share them here!

I can sum up the changes in this way: I’d love for our home to feel like the cozy, warm, refined, and calm home of your most stylish and Southern childhood friend’s Mom. Got that? :) More Southern Living than Domino, but so warm and approachable — somewhere you instantly feel relaxed, and where you just want to spend a few hours nestled in and curled up, chatting.

So what’s my plan? The first change is that I’d like to evolve our color scheme to be a bit softer and more neutral. I’ve felt recently like it’s challenging to decorate seasonally or for holidays (something I love to do!) because adding any extra colors or layers on top of our already vibrant “look” takes things to a visually chaotic and cluttered level.

To this end, I’d first like to remove the red, orange, and coral tones to shrink our color palette a bit. That leaves us with blues, blushes, and neutrals, plus touches of green, yellows, and maybe deeper pinks here and there. Though I’m thinking of this scheme as a bit more refined, I still want it to come across as happy – that’s one of my favorite things about our home!

Removing some of the hotter tones means the red chairs, the area rug, our throw pillows, and even our floral artwork will likely be phased out. A few of these pieces I plan to sell to recoup some of the money we’ll spend on new furnishings; others I’ll repurpose elsewhere in the house. (I already have a spot picked out in our upstairs hallway for the flowers!)

The rug I’d love to replace with one in a similar pattern but a narrower palette – I’ve included a few options in the boards here! Also, if it’s not obvious from the boards, one of the things I’m most hoping to add is a pair of comfy armchairs (at least one with an ottoman!). To me, these epitomize the change: nothing says cozy to me like the comfiest, oversized armchair! I can just picture them paired with a reading lamp and lots of blankets to wrap up in :)

The last big furniture change is that I’d love to switch out the small dresser our TV sits on for a longer piece with doors instead of drawers so it’s easier to store June’s toys and for her to put them away herself. With the additional surface area on top, I’d love to display more family photos in frames. Also considering switching out our chest coffee table for something softer and lighter.

Whew! That’s a lot! Like I said, we’ll make these changes over the next year (if we’re lucky!!), but I like to have a vision for the end goal before we begin. I feel like I’m getting closer to that.

Honestly, though, the thought of making SO many large purchases so close together (and ones that we’ll hope to have for a long time, like the armchairs), makes me really nervous. Because of that, I’m considering hiring a local or e-designer in some capacity to help with the sourcing and confirm that my overall vision makes sense. Of course, working with a designer is an additional expense, but I feel like it might be worth it to put my mind at ease and feel like we’re stretching our money as far as we can.

Have one of y’all ever done something similar? I would love to hear, if so!! There are a few larger companies I know of, like Havenly and Homepolish, and then a few independent designers that I’d be interested in getting pricing from to compare. We shall see!

Sources from first board: vignette from Ashley Whittaker Design, armchair from Interior Define, bedroom unknown, pillow, basket, rug, stairwell, bedroom, ottoman, fireplace unknown, ottoman, living room unknown, bedroom

Sources from second board: armchairs, gray armchairs, blankets, living room, rug, window seat unknown, hutch, rug

Affiliate links are used in this post!

Y’all are making this series everything I dreamed of and more, so please, keep chiming in! To catch up any new gals: Nancy Ray and I are writing an eight-part series every Tuesday in January and February covering “how we do it” in eight different areas: the rhythms, habits, and routines that help us get things done and make the space and time for what matters most. You can read more of the backstory here.

Today’s topic is organization in our homes. With each post so far I’ve shared a few general thoughts before diving into specifics, and today, I wanted to start with the concept of emotional labor. Have y’all read some of the essays that have circled in the last few months? (This was a big one.) They’ve seemed to really resonate with people. Here’s an excerpt in case you’re not familiar:

Then I tried to gingerly explain the concept of emotional labor: that I was the manager of the household, and that being manager was a lot of thankless work. Delegating work to other people, i.e. telling him to do something he should instinctively know to do, is exhausting… He restated that all I ever needed to do was ask him for help, but therein lies the problem. I don’t want to micromanage housework. I want a partner with equal initiative.

Bearing the brunt of all this emotional labor in a household is frustrating. It’s frustrating to be saddled with all of these responsibilities, no one to acknowledge the work you are doing, and no way to change it without a major confrontation… It is difficult to model an egalitarian household for my children when it is clear that I am the household manager, tasked with delegating any and all household responsibilities, or taking on the full load myself.

Here’s the thing: I am unequivocally the household manager in our home. I also don’t find this to be particularly onerous, unreasonable, or unenjoyable. To me, it makes sense that one person would be the point person for information, household organization, and task assignment. And in my marriage, it makes sense that it would be me — because I naturally enjoy it more than John (one of my StrengthsFinder strengths is Input, so I like knowing all the things!); because I work fewer hours than he does; and because I mostly work from home (so it’s easier to do things like call for an appointment over lunch without needing to find a private space from coworkers).

Perhaps I’m happy to be the manager because my work in that role IS seen and appreciated. Perhaps it’s because my husband not only willingly chips in whenever asked but also takes initiative. Perhaps it’s because I’m a realist. Mostly, though, I think it’s because I consider it a privilege. I have exactly the family I’ve dreamed of, and I feel so lucky to be able to take care of them in a million small ways every day. It’s a privilege to help our family run smoothly as a wife and a mama. In a way, it’s been what I’ve been waiting for all my life.

I also want to acknowledge that if you are the household manager but DON’T enjoy your role – perhaps because you’re not appreciated for it, or you’re working more paid hours than your spouse – I hope that you can find a solution that works for your marriage! Just because women most often take on this role doesn’t mean that they HAVE to by natural law or that it can’t be split more equally. The most important thing is finding a solution that works for everyone.

Okay! Enough with the philosophical :) I thought I’d start my tactical tips with cleaning and a few basic household routines, since y’all were intrigued by my claims in my first post! As you’ll see below, we do clean, just perhaps not as often as most people? I don’t know, y’all tell me how we stack up! :) Here’s our typical schedule:

Daily:
Unload and load dishwasher
Wipe down kitchen counters
Tidy main rooms, including processing mail (after June goes to bed)
Pack lunches for the next day

Every weekend:
Wash sheets and towels
Vacuum
Sweep and mop floor (with our Braava!)
Make menu and grocery shop

Every month:
Clean bathrooms
Deeper kitchen clean (microwave, stainless steel, cabinet fronts, etc.)

Seasonally:
Various deep cleaning chores

John and I split these chores — we sat down and divided them up together equitably, based on our preferences, and we are always responsible for the same ones. I think knowing firmly who does each is key, because (in general) we just do them without nagging each other.

Other than sheets, we do laundry collaboratively during the week on an as-needed basis. I know it can be a headache for some people, but it just doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal for us – we just throw it in at some point in the evening whenever needed and tag-team moving it through the cycle of folding and back into the closets.

Another big part of keeping our household running smoothly is FOOD! I’ve written about meal planning before, but thought I’d offer an update since things have changed a bit since that 2013 post.

On Friday evening or Saturday morning, I sit down and plan out our meals for the week. Since our default is to make dinner at home, we first look at the calendar and figure out whether there are any days we know we’ll be dining out (maybe dinner at a friend’s house, or a day where we’re running around and don’t have time to cook). We also check to see whether we’re expecting guests any night. Once those are marked on the planning doc, we start filling in meals for the other nights. We pull ideas from Pinterest (meal boards here + here), from our collection of cook books, family recipes from my Kitchen Diary, and from my master recipe list on Google Docs.

Once we have our meals planned and they’re on our Lindsay Letters calendar, I put together a shopping list with any ingredients we need plus anything we’ve added to Alexa’s shopping list during the week. Though we used to shop at various stores in pursuit of the best deal, we’ve opted over the last year to only shop at Publix, which is maximally convenient but a bit more expensive. (We also were just gifted a Costco membership, and so have tentatively dipped a toe in there.) I usually shop during June’s nap on Saturday afternoon, though not always, as you can see below :)

Aside from these two big systems, what about the little random things that keep our household running smoothly? Here’s a list in no particular order:

1. I purge my clothes regularly while brushing my teeth. Yes, you heard that right :) While brushing my teeth, I choose my and June’s clothes for the next day, and that gives me time to consider what in my closet I haven’t worn in a long time. I know this sounds weird, but it works better for me than wholesale purges every few months! Less pressure if I’m only retiring one or two things at a time :)

2. We keep a donation box readily available. It’s in our bedroom, and any ready-to-be-retired clothes go straight into it, as well as any other unwanted clutter that needs to head to Goodwill. Once the box is full, I put it in my car!

3. I’m not afraid to re-gift things. This is not a source of guilt for me! It’s possible to genuinely appreciate a gift and also genuinely know that your home is not the best home for it. I only want to keep the best, the favorite, and the necessary (in the words of Emily Ley!), and to help do that, I freely let things flow to other loved ones. We have a spot in an upstairs closet where we keep these items, and regularly shop it for birthday, baby, shower, or “just because” presents.

4. With our cars, everything that goes in must come out. John is far better at this than I am, but the goal is that every time we get out of the car, everything that’s not supposed to be in there comes out with us: trash, water bottles, receipts, gloves, etc. This is an easy way to keep our cars clutter-free!

5. Our air filters come automatically. FilterEasy sends us two new filters every quarter at prices and quality comparable to buying at the store. We’ve always bought the super strong ones to keep dust and pet hair at bay, so this is an easy hack for something we were already doing. Bonus: they’re a start-up based in Raleigh! :)

6. Our frequently-used products are on stand-by. In addition to Alexa mentioned above, we have a few Amazon Dash buttons placed around the house for easy reorders: razor blades in a bathroom drawer, rinse aid under the kitchen sink, and Chlorox toilet wand refills in the bathroom. This is the future, people.

7. We store lawn care info in a Google Doc. It’s an easy way to track things like when we reseeded our lawn, how many bags of mulch we used, and when things germinated. I’d love to start another one where we can keep snapshots of the info cards that come with each of our plants!

As with all of these posts, I feel like I’m just scratching the surface – so if there’s something you’re curious about, don’t hesitate to ask! Otherwise, I would love to hear your thoughts on our cleaning rhythms!! I have the sense that other people clean more often, but perhaps that’s not accurate!

P.S. Don’t miss Nancy’s post here!

The rest of the series:
Time: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Finances: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Home: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Personal Lives: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Work: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Relationships: Em’s post and Nancy’s post
Kids: Em’s post and Nancy’s post

Affiliate links are used in this post!

Cast about on Pinterest and you’ll very quickly find exhaustive (and exhausting!) lists about what to include in a guest room. Some of them are helpful, but many go a little overboard, I think! It’s important to remember our guests aren’t coming to us because we’re the Ritz-Carlton — they’re coming to us to enjoy our company, and gracious hospitality is an added bonus.

With all of our family living at least a state away, we’re no strangers to house guests. As we approach the holidays, here are the few of the things we’ve done (and some that we’d like to do!) that have made their stays comfortable and special…

1. Hang a mirror in the bedroom. If, as in our home, a few bedrooms share the same bathroom, it’s great to have mirrors in the bedrooms to cut down on morning congestion — that way, gals can do their makeup, etc. without delaying showers. I’m hoping to hang this one in our main guest room (above) before our Christmas guests arrive!
2. Set out a few essentials. Your guest bathroom doesn’t need to function as a pharmacy, but it’s nice to stock a few things guests may have forgotten either on the counter or in a drawer: a toothbrush, toothpaste, tampons (those can go in the drawer, ha!), Q-tips, a shower cap, etc. We keep larger pump bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the shower instead of using and tossing bar soap every time. Don’t forget to keep a few extra rolls of toilet paper where guests can easily find them! And to REALLY be prepared for everything, always have one of these within arm’s reach — your guests will thank you!!

3. Add greenery. Because of their fleetingness, a bud vase of blooms or clipped greenery from your neighborhood says “I thought of you and I’m excited you’re here” like nothing else.
4. Make space. Clear a few hangers in the closet and empty out a drawer if there’s a dresser in the room. Until I had a child I NEVER unpacked anywhere, but now that we usually share a suitcase, it’s so much nicer to get things organized in a drawer, even if we’re only staying for a day or two!
5. Hang them up. Right now, our guest bath has three towel bars, which seems generous, but when 6+ people are sharing the bathroom, space runs out quickly. Before Christmas, I’m hoping to remove one of the bars and add hooks, instead, to give everyone a place to dry their towels! My Parisienne heart kind of loves these ones.
6. Light the way. Especially if you have older guests (or much younger ones!), add a nightlight or two to the hallway for nighttime bathroom runs.

7. Stock their room. Set out folded towels before they arrive. Tuck an extra blanket and extra pillows in the closet. Keep a box of tissues on the nightstand and a little wastebasket in the corner. Add a stack of a few of your favorite books or magazines. Write out the wi-fi password on a post-it note, or pop it in a little frame if you’re feeling fancy.
8. Make it comfy. We recently purchased this fluffy mattress topper for our “blue bedroom,” and for $60 it has made that room’s overly-firm mattress SO much comfier. Five stars.
9. Pack some snacks. If you don’t think your guests will be comfortable rummaging through your pantry (not a problem with my family, ha!), set out a basket or tray with a few snacks on your counter: granola bars, bananas, apples, clementines, trail mix, little bags of Pirate’s Booty…
10. Leave the light on. Finally, if your guests are arriving in the evening, I think one of the loveliest touches is turning on a bedside lamp in their room to greet them. There’s nothing like a soft, warm glow to set a cozy tone.

Before I leave you, it has to be said: when we first moved to our house, our guest bedrooms were largely empty, and the thought of rounding up eight pillows to sleep all of our family members when they came for Christmas was daunting (and required stretching the budget to secure one for each person, let alone extras!).

Your guests don’t expect anything close to perfection; they just want to spend time with you. Hopefully some of these ideas are helpful, but know that all of them are overshadowed by a kind, warm, engaged hostess – you!! It’s not about being fancy or photographable, it’s about setting the scene for a relaxed, memorable visit with the ones you love. Let that guide your preparations, and you’ll be golden.

Any other tips to add? I know there are so many more! My friend left a water carafe on my bedside table when I visited her last year, and it made me feel so chic! :)

P.S. We always make our guests sign our guest book — there is a strong tradition of guest books in our family!

Photos by Anna Routh from our last home tour. Affiliate links are used in this post!