We had two wild and completely unexpected events in March, and their ripples affected almost every one of my goals and updates today. These events required a lot of conversation between John and me (and others), and left me feeling scattered and anxious many days. And so, for example, we spent more of our evening walks talking to each other instead of listening to Outlive. We didn’t have time to take the Birds & Bees course. I opted to turn out the light instead of read many nights. My deep work cratered and I made minimal progress on the audio course.
These events weren’t disastrous – one had to do with a house we were considering buying – but they were disruptive. Seeing this month for what it was helps me to have compassion on my lack of progress. Because I’ve been doing this for so long, the transition from frustration to compassion is almost instantaneous, but it’s still only possible by pausing to notice and reflect, and by adjusting expectations along the way.
There is one March goal I feel total peace with as I look back, and it’s the most important one: wholeheartedly enjoying and being present with my family in Connecticut as we celebrated my grandmother’s life. Really, really grateful for that.
On my calendar: — A week in Texas for work. I was nervous about this same trip last year, since I’d never met most of my coworkers in person, but this year it feels more like returning to see old friends, and I’m grateful for that. — Finance meetings with my younger sister. She recently started a new job (very exciting!) and John and I have been helping her roll over and set up various accounts, reimagine her budget, and set new goals, all of which has been just the nerdiest kind of fun. — A pickle ball tournament with our church small group! We do something fun on months with a fifth week, and it’s a round robin challenge for April.
What I’m loving right now: — I bought this sweatshirt on a whim while browsing in Connecticut, and I’m obsessed. Since I don’t shop for clothes often, I’ve learned (and given myself permission!) to just make the purchase when I find something I love, especially when I’m able to try it on in person. Currently having to restrain myself from wearing it daily. Also, this is a new brand to me and I’m in love?! Reminds me very much of Boden, another British brand that perfectly encapsulates my dream style! — Our preordered copies of The Anxious Generation arrived on our doorstep last week, and I’m already several chapters in. This is Jonathan’s Haidt’s newest book, and I highly, highly recommend everyone read it who has kids they love. My full review will be May’s first (free!) post on The Connected Family, and I’ll be giving away a copy then, too! — Run, don’t walk, to Trader Joe’s to get their Limone Alfredo Sauce. I think it’s the best alfredo I’ve ever had?! We tossed it with farfalle pasta, frozen grilled chicken strips (also from TJ’s), halved cherry tomatoes, and frozen peas. SO GOOD – I went back to buy two more jars the next day.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in March: — Did I Say That Out Loud? | This is Kristin van Ogtrop’s midlife offering. Kristin was the beloved, long-time editor in chief of Real Simple in its heyday, and I’d read somewhere that she covered the highs and the lows of life at the magazine here. She does, which was rather cathartic to read as a long-time fan and someone with a background in magazines. I gave myself permission to scan the other essays and enjoyed many of them, even though they were geared more toward the 40’s-50’s crowd. — Drums of Autumn | I picked up this installment of the Outlander series on a whim at the library. (I’d read the first three in 2017, and this one is the fourth.) While I remember enjoying the first three, this one was a slog. It’s absolutely massive (1000+ pages!), it moved at a snail’s pace, and I found it hard to remember who everyone was and what had happened to them with such a large gap since I’d last picked up the series (very different from the books in the Kingsbridge historical series, which are also massive but zip right along). It felt a bit like defeat to give up after 250 pages, but I’m choosing to see it as clearing the way for something I’ll feel more excited to dive into each night :)
Revisiting my March goals: Take the Birds & Bees course with John Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive (We made it just halfway through chapter 7!) Choose fabric and send chairs off for reupholstering Complete at least 45 hours of deep work (22!) Finish the leadership program slides + deliver my talk Write the second lesson of the TCF course Wholeheartedly enjoy my extended family and time in Connecticut
April goals: — Film Annie in April — Write the second lesson of the TCF course — Complete at least 50 hours of deep work — Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive — Take the Birds & Bees course with John
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
How was your March? Any irate Outlander fans in the house? :) Or Real Simple fans from back in the day? (It was the best!)
When I shared earlier this year that posting frequency would slow down a bit here as I began posting weekly on The Connected Family, I worried that things would feel… slow at EFM. But thanks to your generous participation and maybe a little of the old quality v. quantity tradeoff, I was delighted by what we were able to talk about in February. You all are so good to me, and I’m excited for what I have planned for this month, too.
Writing here feels particularly like a gift right now as I work to find my TCF voice. It’s a new audience and brand (and purpose), and the trial and error feels a bit foreign! While I’ve got pretty much everything (voice, tone, perspective, format, length, angle, etc.) nailed down for EFM and CWM (since I’ve written for both for over a decade!), I’m still figuring all those things out with TCF. Thanks for coming along for the ride :)
The first of my fancy daffodils have bloomed!!
On my calendar: — Easter basket shopping with all three kids. I’ll go on individual mini shopping trips to Target with each kiddo to choose items for baskets we donate through a local program. One of my favorite traditions! — Primary voting. I would never miss a chance to add my voice, even if it sometimes seems inconsequential. — Spring break. We are returning to Jekyll Island!
What I’m loving right now: — Ocean BINGO, an unexpected reading practice tool! Shep and I have been playing it together and, since he loves to be the caller, he finds himself sounding out things like “spotted eagle ray” and “wandering albatross.” I’ll take it :) These BINGO games are really beautiful and great quality – I want to collect all the versions (birds! cats! trees!) even though I have very little reason to. — John and I try to have an at-home date night about once a month and usually watch a movie. Recently we chose Yesterday, and it was delightful! A feel-good pick with a just-intriguing-enough premise (and lots of Beatles songs). It’s currently included with Prime. — I asked for and received Vuori joggers for Christmas, and I’m sorry to report back that they really are excellent. Good quality, great fit, and I love my color – iron heather.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— The Rifle Paper Co for Target collection was easily the most popular link I shared last month – and for good reason! I was truly blown away by the quality of the boxes I purchased. Wish there was more from the collection still in stock!! — The pearl and gold studs I wear daily bounced up to the top, too. I’m not giving them up anytime soon but I did just try on these hearts in a store and they’re now on my wish list. — 52 Modern Manners for Kids, a resource we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays — My current sunhat — Our favorite family conversation card deck
Last month on The Connected Family:
Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.
What I read in February: — The Red Tent | I plucked this re-read off our shelf as we worked our way through Genesis in our Bible-in-a-year plan. It’s a highly-imagined recreation of Dinah’s story, compelling and adding some interesting background to the ancient world Jesus’s lineage wound through, but it made me feel similar to The Book of Longings – vaguely scandalous? — To Say Nothing of the Dog | Whew. I added this to my 2024 reading list after Janssen put it on hers, so I didn’t know too much about it before requesting it from the library. It was… very different than your average bookstagram pick (!). It’s a “comedy of manners,” a stylized form I’d never read before, and packed with literary and historical allusions, many of which I was not familiar with. It was also published in 1998. All this to say, it was mostly a slog. I was still considering DNF-ing up until about 3/4 of the way through, but I’m glad I stuck it out. I think there’s value in reading something very different and a little more challenging than my usual fare every once in a while – even if it did back up my reading pipeline for a few weeks :) And I am proud to say I guessed the twist early!
Revisiting my February goals: Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1 (Yes! Waiting on fabric swatches to arrive.) Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk (Yes! I just added the top coat yesterday and now it needs two weeks (!) to cure. I found a cutie chair to pair it with at Pigfish on my birthday.) Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat (Sadly, the AC retreat is the same weekend as my grandmother’s service, so I’m no longer able to attend. I’m very sad to miss, of course, but also feel total peace that I’ll be where I need to be that weekend. Because of this, I’ve stepped back from the planning, but can’t wait to see what the gals come up with!) Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (I got to 39, beating my total for January by four hours! Still room to grow, but grateful for improvement!) Write one lesson of the TCF course (It was the first one and by far the easiest, but still!) Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive (Just starting to get into the actionable section :)) Take the Birds & Bees course with John
March goals: — Take the Birds & Bees course with John — Read chapters 7, 8, and 9 of Outlive — Choose fabric and send chairs off for reupholstering — Complete at least 45 hours of deep work (about 3 for every week day, minus travel days!) — Finish the leadership program slides + deliver my talk — Write the second lesson of the TCF course — Wholeheartedly enjoy my extended family and time in Connecticut, as my grandmother would have wanted
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
Happy March! Feel free to chime in on anything I’ve mentioned or anything else on your mind.
Maybe due to my nature, or maybe due to my job, I love January — full stop. You can keep your memes about how it’s 1,000 days long; I’ll keep it rolling as long as possible. And this January seemed like an especially January January for me. John and I laid some foundations for the year ahead (a fresh budget, vacation plans), I dug in deep on a big project and saw some early fruit, and I introduced some tiny new habits that have already made a big difference. How can you not love January, friends?!
But all good things must come to an end – on to February!
On my calendar: — I was asked to be a mentor in a freshmen women’s leadership program at my alma mater this semester and was matched with a gal who seems just lovely. We have our first monthly call this week! — The Divine Consign kids consignment sale. I visited in the fall for the first time and – dare I say it – it *may* have had a better selection than my beloved Hayes Barton. Certainly for older kids! — My birthday! It falls on a Wednesday this year, which is one of my weekdays off. After putting my nose to the grindstone on these days all January, I’m giving myself the gift of a purely fun day during the kids’ school hours. I’ll volunteer in June’s classroom to start things off (my usual weekly slot), then might take myself to a few thrift shops (I’ve been wanting to visit Pigfish Lane), eat lunch out (maybe with friends?!), and who knows what else? I’m excited.
What I’m loving right now (friend edition!): — My friend Cherith’s incredibly-helpful small business planner, which is like a wise friend to hold your hand as you create a business plan step-by-step. I had the joy of editing it at several steps in the production process, and it’s comprehensive and delightful! — The Bear’s “Forks”. I was already planning to recommend this standalone episode (it’s the only one of the show I’ve seen!), and then my friend Pressley went and wrote this essay that perfectly encapsulates its perfection. You truly can watch it even if you know nothing about the show, and I recommend you do. — Bumble Brews Play Cafe in Raleigh. My friend Libby opened this darling space in December with her husband, and the Articles Club gals feel like we’ve been along for the small business ride – not for the faint of heart! Stop by for a delicious warm beverage and a cozy space to play with your little one (they recommend 0-6!).
Okay — one more! (And not exactly a BFF but a gal can dream.)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— Y’all! The Articles Club Guide was a favorite from January! Thank you for being excited alongside us for our little niche slice of joy :) — The sticky mini easel pad we use for Team Thomas Tuesdays — The pink mailbox we use for Valentine’s Day fun — this one is very similar — Outlive, a book that’s playing a central role in one of my 2024 goals — The Anxious Generation, a book we’ve preordered x 3 (how happy am I that two of the top five are books?)
Last month on The Connected Family:
Adding a segment to round up the previous month’s posts on TCF! So many of you have subscribed (thank you!), but if you haven’t, and a conversation about kids, technology, and family culture sounds meaningful for you, I’d love for you to join us.
This was an unusual month for reading! I’m stretching several books (The Great Dechurching, Outlive, and Made for People) over a longer span for various reasons, and so only have a few to report on in full. They are:
— The Vanderbeekers Make a Wish | I continue to be wowed and delighted by how Karina Yan Glaser tackles harder topics for elementary kids with warmth, gentleness, and discernment. A favorite series for sure. — The Armor of Light | Another excellent installment of the epic Kingsbridge series! Made me want to go back and read the original – maybe this summer :) — Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets | June received the illustrated second installment for her eighth birthday and we whizzed through it together.
Revisiting my January goals: Kick off The Connected Family well with four weekly posts (Yes! Exceeded my expectations in every way and I’m super grateful. I was honored to earn a little orange check mark in the last week of the month, which marks a Substack bestselling publication. Thank you, thank you, thank you again!) Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts (I did not get quite as far as I was hoping, but I did complete drafts of three (out of five) posts for the month!) Complete at least 85 hours of deep work (Whew, this one kicked my tail! A learning curve for sure. I chose 85 because it’s roughly 1000 / 12, but I fell decidedly short for various reasons and amassed 35. Adjusting for February!) Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate (Inquiry sent and we also had an initial meeting. We are waiting to hear back from him on next steps but we have a lot to consider.) Begin the Bible Recap reading plan (Yes, indeed! On track and it has been great so far! We listen together while we’re getting ready for bed.) Read the first three chapters of Outlive (Done! This was greatly helped by a tip from Lara that the audiobook is available on Spotify Premium, which we already pay for.) Take the Birds and Bees course (We set a date in February!) Prep for our Valentines mailbox (Underway! It’s been fun to come up with a few new ideas this year, like making wax paper crayon suncatchers, trying out the pasta maker we were gifted and have never used (eep), and a Poppin kit from HMart.)
February goals: — Reach out to an upholsterer and/or visit a showroom for goal no. 1 — Rehab and paint June’s new (old) desk, which my parents drove down from their home in Connecticut. She chose Purple Cream for the color :) — Finalize the secrets + swag for the AC retreat — Complete at least 60 hours of deep work (which works out to about 3 hours for every weekday in February, with a little grace built in) — Write one module of the TCF course — Read chapters 4, 5, and 6 of Outlive — Take the Birds & Bees course with John
As a reminder, many of these are drawn from my 2024 goals!
Next week’s post is a dear and personal one for me… looking forward to sharing it with you. Until then, I’d love to hear your thoughts on January — or anything else you’d like to chat about!
In this month, the first of the year, my attention is narrowly focused. I am aware that the demand of writing weekly on The Connected Family for a paying audience could easily become a stressor if I don’t carefully manage it, and so here at the beginning of the year, I consciously restrained myself on almost all other goals to create the space to start strong and get ahead in this one area. It’s a bit challenging (I’m excited about every one of my goals!), but I know this short-term narrowing will give me the most peace of mind and pave the way to branch out a bit more in the months to come.
Also, while we’re talking about TCF, I thought it might be helpful to do a little expectation setting here at the start.
For the last few years, my intention has been to share two posts a week on EFM. I didn’t always realize it, but that’s been the goal! With splitting my time between two platforms, going forward I plan to share one post on EFM and one post on TCF each week. TCF will be the home for all things family culture, kids + tech, and low-screen living – a deep well, considering everything that feeds into it! EFM will hold the rest: my goals, our travels, personal finance, faith, books, home updates, recipes, etc. My signature deep thoughts will feature on both :)
While this is, theoretically, the same amount of content, I recognize that only paid subscribers will now have access to all of it, and that is a change from the past 15+ years of blogging. I’m grateful to each of you that’s able to take the leap with me on this new venture. I also understand it’s not in the cards for everyone right now for various reasons, and that there might be disappointment that comes along with that. Please know I am very grateful for you and your support, in whatever form it takes.
On my calendar: — Our 19th dativersary! We’re taking a pottery class (part of John’s Christmas present!) to celebrate. — A goals night with our church community group. They asked me to lead a little session and I’m delighted to – it’s always an interesting challenge to translate CWM’s teachings for a new (and guys + gals) audience. — June’s birthday celebrations. She chose a “day of fun” this year (versus a party), and so we’re following her lead to visit the Museum of Life and Science, have lunch at Noodles & Co, play at a ninja gym, and have her very first sleepover with her BFF.
What I’m loving right now: — As a mom who works outside the home, I loved this essay from Coffee + Crumbs – and then one of my dearest friends texted it to me saying it had struck a chord with her, too! — I recently discovered that you can buy Olive & June items at Target. Did you know this? Their cuticle serum and polish remover pots were sitting right there in my local beauty section. Both are items I use and love! (I keep the serum in my bedside table drawer to apply right before I go to bed.) — Alstroemeria. They are not, like, the most beautiful flower God ever created, but they are in every single grocery store flower bin and they last for – I kid you not – a month in a cut vase. Perfect to brighten up cold January days.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— Heavenly Hunks, and rightly so. — These stretch twill cropped pants in a faded green, one of my favorite purchases of 2023. — The delicious-smelling and effective tangle spray we use for Annie. — My daily face sunscreen! One of the products I MOST love to push on others :) — The snack box June uses for school. I bought one for Shep’s stocking but it didn’t fit, so I just set it aside for his Easter basket!
What I read in December: — The Hiding Place | Essential reading, for Christians and everyone else. The courage and moral clarity of Corrie and her family – who risked their lives to save Jews and underground workers in World War II and were sent to concentration camps for it – is frankly shocking to our modern sensibilities, but so needed. — How to Stay Married | This book was making the rounds of our community group and so I hopped on the bandwagon, too. A (true) tale of a wife’s infidelity and the havoc it wreaked on their marriage, it’s an unflinchingly honest and specific look at what contributed to drift in their marriage (on both sides) and how they fought to stay together. (And, weirdly, it’s funny.) It’s also a window into what the church and community can and must do well to help real people in the very real tragedies of their lives. — The Magician’s Elephant | June passed this Kate DiCamillo book to me after reading it and I enjoyed it! It’s a short, moody tale with poetic language and a happy ending. I’d recommend for third grade-ish.
Revisiting my December goals: Finish our 2015-2019 photo album (Not done yet but I am chugging away! I don’t have the heart to officially put it on my goals list for January, but do plan to continue working on it when I can!) Prepare well for my family’s visit See what I can do to continue to customize The Connected Family’s home on Substack (I did a little more customization but am also embracing simplicity for the moment! Banking on quality content over fancy graphics here at the start :)) Plan out content for Q1 of TCF, including brainstorming at least 100 newsletter ideas (Confirmed I will not run out of things to write about, ha!) Tackle our laundry room Tackle our downstairs linen closet Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most.
January goals: — Kick off The Connected Family well with five weekly posts — Write ahead to complete drafts of February’s TCF posts — Complete at least 85 hours of deep work — Send an inquiry to our top builder candidate — Begin the Bible Recap reading plan — Read the first three chapters of Outlive — Take the Birds and Bees course — Prep for our Valentines mailbox
I also am tracking a daily habit of making kid lunches the night before in my PowerSheets, which has been going well so far!
Grateful for you, friends! Please feel free to comment on anything I’ve mentioned here or anything else on your mind!
