Over the last few weeks, my perspective on our new home has steadily shifted: from a feeling of dislocation (and frenetic energy to make it less so) to a feeling of almost total peace and contentment. Yes, there are still things I’d like to do over time, and there is still artwork leaning against the wall and a bin of things to give away, but in the midst of it all I feel at home.
While it’s tempting to attribute this cozy, settled feeling to the familiar Christmas decorations that now surround us, this shift predated them all. Time, and the way it makes space for rational sense to take root, definitely played a role. What made the biggest difference, however, was two things: the gentle encouragement from those around us to embrace this in-between stage (including many of you in the comments – truly, it made an impact!) and welcoming loved ones into our home. In November alone we hosted three families for dinner, a pair of pals for post-kid-bedtime chatting, and the inaugural Articles Club at our new address (not to mention neighborhood friends crashing in and out on a regular basis).
While these gatherings revealed a few gaps (fitting ten in our dining room was a tight squeeze!), they much more so shone a spotlight on all the best parts of our new home: the kitchen island it’s so easy to gather around, the flat cul-de-sac and big backyard that so safely allow kids to run and play, the aerie-like loft that so generously houses our kids as they stretch out and create.
Our friends’ presence and encouragement allowed me to see our home through their eyes — to see what I couldn’t quite yet see on my own — and I am so grateful.
The mountaintop rental where my family spent Thanksgiving!
On my calendar: — Caroling with June’s elementary school chorus through our neighborhood. Perks of living right across from the school! — Our church small group’s Christmas party. We’re doing a Yankee Swap like always, but this year with the caveat that all the gifts have to be handmade. I am loving this twist and think I’m going to attempt some hand-painted taper candles. — Dinner out with John for our 2025 review and celebration. We’re returning to an old favorite – Jujube! — A post-Christmas California trip to see John’s family. Disneyland awaits!
What I’m loving right now: — I’ve had a pointelle henley on my shopping wish list for months now, but the option I was considering was quite spendy. Somehow, I landed on Everlane’s henleys last week, and though not pointelle, they scratched the same itch. I bought this one (in port royale, note that it is cropped but an acceptable look to me with high-waist jeans) and this one (in bone, chic when tucked in!) on super sale and they are easily my favorite things to wear right now. They read a bit like cardigans to me and therefore are a dressier look than I was expecting! — This is more of a recommendation for the men among us, but John often forwards me Jon Tyson’s emails and gosh, he is a good writer. And a good thinker. I love learning from him about faith and family discipleship and think you (or your favorite guy) might, too. Just scroll down to the bottom of his site here to sign up. — Another man-friendly recommendation! I have been listening to the Walk in Love podcast for years (probably almost a decade!) and always enjoy catching up with Brooke and TJ. Recently I’ve shared a few episodes with John, and he’s enjoyed them, too – particularly how TJ, in his usual raw, honest, and funny way, gives voice to things that John has also felt as a father, husband, and provider as we approach midlife.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— The Brick was far and away the bestseller of everything I shared last month! I am so, so grateful that so many of you took the leap and feel confident you won’t regret it. If you need a refresher on what the Brick is, I’ve got you. While their BFCM sale has ended, you can still get 10% off with this link. I think it’s a deal at any price. — Right behind the Brick was Camp Snap cameras, with so many of you snapping up the original or CS Pro for your families. This link gives you at least $5 off! — Continuing with the low-screen fun, Yoto Minis slid into third place. All three of our kids use theirs daily. (Would an updated post on their favorite cards be helpful? The options are so many now!) — John’s favorite comfortable-but-suit-appropriate shoes were quite popular. — Finally, all three of the kid gift guides were hits: shop picks for a nine-year-old girl (these lilac sneakers), a seven-year-old boy (this light-up soccer ball), and a four-year-old girl (these clickable markers).
What I read in November: I spent the majority of my month reading through an absolutely massive Atlantic issue (the Revolutionary War one, which I thoroughly enjoyed). I also finished a novel, but would not recommend so am not listing here. I’m a few pages into Code Name Helene and will report back next month. Also excited that Wild Dark Shore and My Oxford Year have finally arrived as library holds for me – picking them up tomorrow!
Revisiting myNovember goals: Lovingly hand off our first home well, equipping the new owner as I’d want to be equipped Finalize plans for June’s tenth birthday (Getting there! Made progress!) Begin painting the kids’ 2025 book ornaments Buy window candles, a Christmas tradition I’m so delighted our new home allows us to partake in (Yes! Mostly these plug-in ones plus a few of these battery ones where cords couldn’t reach.) Choose and order sconces for two spots in our home Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print (Yes! This felt so good! We were able to gift everyone their copies at Thanksgiving.) Edit Sheptember Practice my Christmas recital song Send care packages to our college gals Finish designing, order, and send our Christmas cards (Done! Never done this so early!)
December goals: — Edit Sheptember, Volume 7 — Finish the kids’ book ornaments — Send care packages to our college gals — Finalize plans for June’s tenth birthday — Make progress on a big birthday project for June — Carry out our gifting plans with joy — Prepare well in advance for our post-Christmas travel, so that Christmas Eve and Day can be languorous and peaceful — Execute our end-of-year generosity plans — Savor the Christmas season by focusing on loving the ones I love most, and loving those who need it the most. Even to me this sounds somewhat trite, but also the best way I know to celebrate the arrival of a tiny baby king who did the same.
I’d love to hear: What have you read and loved recently? I’m working on my 2026 reading list and would love to hear your suggestions for what should make it on!!
Hello, friends! This last month has held multitudes. We spent the first half packing up our first home and the second half settling into our new home. We weathered the news of the original buyers backing out – and went under contract with new buyers – all while the movers shuttled our belongings between houses (a wild day). We’ve now met every neighbor on our cul-de-sac. We have loved walking to school most days. I have thoroughly enjoyed the process of purging, tossing on-the-fence items with glee and freedom. Our maple out the front windows has been ablaze and an abundance of squirrels are frolicking in the backyard with abandon.
Megan McArdle once wrote about how young adults setting off on their own subconsciously expect to start at their parents’ standard of living – which is, of course, the standard their parents ascended to over a lifetime, and likely far from where they started as young adults. They want to shop at the same stores, eat the same foods, take the same vacations, and live in the same sort of house with the same sort of furnishings. When their budget or circumstances don’t allow them to continue in “the style to which they’ve become accustomed,” they can feel cheated.
John and I had (and have) plenty of failings, but this was not one. I’ve written before about how we mostly reveled in our scrappy phase, that time of our lives when cardboard boxes were our coffee tables and splitting a Chipotle burrito was a grand night out.
I’ve been thinking about this idea a lot lately, wondering about its relevance to my current predicament. I find myself impatient that our home does not feel like us, that it does not feel “finished.” Which, when I write it out, seems absolutely ridiculous. Of course it doesn’t feel like us! Of course it isn’t finished! We’ve lived here for three weeks!!
I suppose I didn’t feel this way when we moved into our first home because we were moving from an apartment and there was no comparison – the home was an obvious upgrade. Updates didn’t feel urgent, which was good since our budget required making changes slowly. Over 12 years, though, little by little, we built our home into a place that met our needs and suited our tastes.
And now that home, so lovingly tended over time, stands in direct comparison to this one — which, while objectively nice, mostly does not feel like us. And so there is a desire to make it that way, and fast, to get back to what we had while also moving forward. I want the backsplash gone, the light fixtures switched out, the rugs in place, the built-ins built — all the things we worked so hard for in our past home, transposed to this one.
These are not necessarily bad desires. It is okay to want a home that reflects my tastes and meets my family’s needs and wants. Our life and finances look very different than they did 12 years ago, and moving quickly in this sweet and fleeting season of middle childhood can be wise. But when these desires stop me from appreciating what is in front of me, or drive me to move faster than my family is ready for, they sour the good that’s here now.
So that’s where I am – wanting our new home to feel like home, and reminding myself that transformation won’t happen overnight. And through it all, just trying to unpack the rest of the boxes :)
Big kids working hard to put together new shelves for the attic, in the loft! They were so proud to do it all by themselves!
One other little update, mostly for my memories but also hopefully as an encouragement: I did take my solo trip to New England, and it was wonderful! I spent almost no time doing any of the touristy things I envisioned (walking my favorite road, going out for breakfast, shopping in downtown) and instead spent basically the entire Saturday in conversation: five hours at the baby shower and three hours at dinner with my beloved high school teacher-turned mentor and friend. I am incredibly grateful for that time with those women. Let this be an encouragement to take the flight, make the time, be there in person. And thank you, Lord, for allowing me to do so!
Walking to dinner in Mystic, CT
On my calendar: — A special date night! We’re taking a mini road trip to Winston-Salem to see one of our beloved babysitters in her senior play at UNC School of the Arts and hopefully grabbing dinner with friends beforehand. — Meeting up with the cousins at the zoo on a teacher work day. It is supposed to be frigid – fingers crossed the lemurs brave the cold and venture outside! — A trip to the mountains for Thanksgiving with my family. Menu texts are currently flying fast and furious.
What I’m loving right now: — With the dark coming on earlier and fall extracurriculars ending, the kids have had a renewed interest in board games. Sushi Go Party, Monopoly Deal, Zombie Kidz, and chess (this is how they learned) are in the nightly post-dinner rotation. — Having known Lara Casey and Katelyn James up close for over a decade (almost 20 years for Lara!), I can tell you that they are both as genuine and faithful as they come. This conversation between them about business and faith was honest, hopeful, and so good that I stopped it halfway through to tell John we needed to listen to it together. — You get a mini tree in your room starting the Christmas you’re four, which means Annie’s finally eligible! I just checked and our very favorite flocked 4-footer is back in stock. We now own five of these – two flanking our front door and one in each child’s room. More Christmas decor from our actual home rounded up here! — Are you sleeping on ThredUp? Don’t do it! My trick is to set alerts for just a few favorite, expensive brands (for me, Faherty and Alice Walk) in my sizes so I don’t have to spend time looking. I just bought a perfectly fall dress for 1/3 of the retail price and I’m always on the hunt for more of my very favorite striped tees.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My Lulie Wallace ESV New Testament Journaling Bible. Our next sermon series is on Luke! — The new eucalyptus + rosemary cleaning spray I’ve been using. Kind of reminiscent of the Thymes Fraser Fir candle but non-Christmas-y enough for year-round use. — The Eby Relief bra. I’m tickled so many of you are trying one of these! I hope you love them as much as I have! — The tiniest white noise machine – perfect for traveling. — The Yoto card case. We now have two: one for cards geared to younger ears, and one for longer chapter books.
What I read in September: — American Wife | Though I’m about 20 years behind in reading this book (it released in 2009), I’m considering it better late than never! Alice, the main character, is a thinly-veiled Laura Bush, but Curtis Sittenfeld paints a compassionate picture of a woman who is fully her own — and easy to fall in love with. Spanning over a lifetime, American Wife reads more like a marriage portrait than anything else. My one complaint: instead of being divided into chapters, it’s split into just four hard-to-stop-turning-the-pages sections. That made for some late nights :) — The Love Haters | I’m not sure I’m cut out for romances, pals! This one was clean, funny, and had likable characters (including a Coast Guard rescue swimmer, close to my heart!). Still, it just felt like… it didn’t matter? I suppose I’d rather read something a little more substantive — something that leaves me in awe of its prose or helps me see something new about the world — in the limited time I have to read. I know I’m in the minority, here, though!
Revisiting my October goals: Gather our family Halloween costumes (Done! We went with a Star Wars theme – Princess Leia, Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Rey, and R2D2 :)) Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print Finish editing June in June (Done, finally!!) Edit Sheptember Make Halloween ghosts with Shep (This was highly overambitious with all the move to-dos – we only got our Halloween box out three days before the holiday!) Make a plan for my solo weekend in New England Choose a Christmas recital song and begin to practice Send care packages to our college gals Choose and order our Christmas cards (Designed the photo card, just need to finish the newsletter.)
November goals: — Lovingly hand off our first home well, equipping the new owner as I’d want to be equipped — Finalize plans for June’s tenth birthday (in January) — Begin painting the kids’ 2025 book ornaments! — Buy window candles, a Christmas tradition I’m so delighted our new home allows us to partake in — Choose and order sconces for two spots in our home — Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print — Edit Sheptember — Practice my Christmas recital song — Send care packages to our college gals — Finish designing, order, and send our Christmas cards
I know I have a ton of carry-over goals from October to November, but with the worst of the unpacking behind me, I’m feeling hopeful I’ll be able to make significant progress as we close out the year!
Friends, I would love to hear: Is there a project or goal that you’re really hoping to finish by the end of 2025? Personally, I’m hoping to wrap up most goals by the end of the month so I can focus on Advent and Christmas in December. Godspeed to us all and I would love to hear about what you have planned in the comments! xo
The other day John and I were talking about what we’ll miss most, physically, about this home, our first home, and my answer was our front porch.
It’s unusually deep, perched well above street level and tucked behind a mature tree. Shady and private enough to work from on even the hottest summer days, it also played host to dinner parties, friend hangs, and tables set for Articles Club. On its sturdy boards we carved pumpkins, played in the sand box, read chapter books aloud, ate lunch, set up the chess board, spit cherry pits over the railing, waited on siblings to return from play dates and grandparents to arrive from the airport. The string lights were magic; the wreaths hanging on the gates each December, a source of deep personal satisfaction. And I can still feel exactly what it was like to sit cross-legged under the spinning fan, cooing at baby June as she learned to roll on a soft blanket. We’d head out there after work and daycare and just chat — for an hour, easy.
That porch was an aerie, a world unto itself in the most ordinary of places. While the glorious view below will not always be ours, the sweetness will be.
On my calendar: — Seeing The Sound of Music with June! After a few false starts for her “experiential” 2024 Christmas gift, this is where we landed. We are both so excited for a night at the theater together. — Our fall family mountain trip, this year to Boone. We’ve had more trips than usual to WNC in the last few months but you won’t catch me complaining. These mountain weekends are always some of the sweetest of the year for our family. — A weekend in New England! I’m flying to a dear friend’s baby shower and for the first time in a very, very long time (maybe since before having kids?), I will be traveling solo to Connecticut. I’ll be staying at my parents’ home but even they won’t be there, as they are traveling, too! Needless to say my brain is working overtime as to how I should enjoy this unique opportunity…
What I’m loving right now: — John and I recently finished the second (and, presumably) final season of Andor and loved it. You do not have to be a Star Wars fan to enjoy it, though it helps if you love a political thriller. The world-building (Chandrila!) is particularly incredible. — Freya India’s work always makes me want to highlight, forward, shout YES at my laptop in an empty room, and this recent piece is no exception. “Marketing your memories also desecrates them. You hand over your hope, your hurt, your life to be consumed, reducing it to reality TV. Your precious memories are my mindless entertainment. Your trauma becomes my background noise. Your life-shattering divorce my slop. Your children my characters; your pain my distraction; your feelings my filler episodes. I will swipe past your birth video when I get bored. I will downvote your divorce if it isn’t entertaining enough. Your life is what I clean my kitchen to, what I kill time with. And if you fail to entertain me, fine, I will scroll for another life to consume.” — I am not a particularly good auditory learner (raising my hand as a consummate note taker in college!). After searching for a sermon solution, I chose this ESV study Bible to bring to and from church. While it’s only the New Testament, I love having generous amounts of space to jot notes. (And the Lulie Wallace cover doesn’t hurt!)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My clean perfume. I generally only wear it for date night and other special events; spritzing it on is an anticipatory mood booster. (I gathered my other daily skincare and clean beauty faves recently!) — My clean deodorant! Bonus points for the prettiest metal holder. — The new eucalyptus + rosemary cleaning spray I’ve been using. Kind of reminiscent of the Thymes Fraser Fir candle but non-Christmas-y enough for year-round use. — The Eby Relief bra. I’m tickled so many of you are trying one of these! I hope you love them as much as I have! — The tiniest white noise machine – perfect for traveling.
What I read in September: — 14 Talks by Age 14 | I picked this one up on a whim after appreciating a quote from the author in an article. In each chapter, she discusses things to consider, conversation killers, and sample dialogues for topics like independence, changing friendships, fairness, criticism, hard work, money, and reputations. While I reject some of her assumptions about tweens/teens and family life, I do concede that she has more experience than me to draw on and found much of the book insightful and eye-opening. — The Day the World Came to Town | I purposefully timed my reading of this to coincide with the anniversary of 9/11. I did not anticipate it coinciding with a jarring new low in our country’s polarization and political violence. It was a tough backdrop to such a hopeful and guileless book, animated as it is by the common-sense kindness of an average town. I am glad I read it. I wish it felt more recognizable today. — Peace Like a River | Absolute perfection. The writing – there is hardly a throwaway sentence in the book. The characters – so real, so sympathetic, so finely-drawn. If you have not yet read this book, please do so immediately. Easily one of my top-five favorite novels of all time.
Revisiting my September goals: Prepare our home to go on the market Pack and transport everything we don’t want in our home for listing/showings Book help and figure out details for the first few tasks we want done in the new home (Some of them, yes!) Edit June in June (Not quite done but I did make progress! About halfway there!) Film Sheptember Make apple cider scones for the first day of fall Sort and tag for the consignment sale Experiment with drafting Substack Notes for the week, each week, in advance
October goals: — Gather our family Halloween costumes (2 / 5 so far) — Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print — Finish editing June in June — Edit Sheptember — Make Halloween ghosts with Shep (kind of like this!) — Make a plan for my solo weekend in New England — Choose a Christmas recital song and begin to practice — Send care packages to our college gals — Choose and order our Christmas cards (I want to get these off early because of the move!)
Friends, I would love to hear: If you had a solo weekend in one of your favorite and very familiar places, what would you do? Take yourself out to a meal? Go for a hike? Read a book? See a friend? Shop? (I hope to do all of the above, ha!) Let’s have some fun planning a dreamy solo getaway in the comments.
Big update over here, friends: we are under contract to buy a new house.
!!!
This came to pass in a quite unusual and stressful manner, because the house went on the market while we were in Maine. (Our realtor, to boot, was also on vacation.) We submitted our offer on Sunday night, learned there were multiple offers and submitted a new offer (and then another one) on Monday, and finally found out our offer was accepted on Monday night. We came home on Wednesday night and saw the house for the first time on Thursday night.
While we hadn’t stepped foot inside, we were familiar with the house – it is in our same neighborhood, right around the corner from one of Shep’s buddies, and is one we had had our eye on for over a year. It checks a lot of our boxes – cul-de-sac location, flat driveway, separate dining room, bigger backyard, space for an office, even the possibility of a mudroom – and we are super grateful.
That does not mean that the last few weeks have been without challenges. I wish I could say we’ve been uniformly blissful and brave, but alas I am a person who deeply dislikes change. In addition to staying on top of the piles of paperwork required to buy and sell a home – as well as fixing things up around our current home, coordinating completion of the rest of the punch list, streamlining our belongings and beginning to pack what remains – I’ve been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I am excited, of course, and grateful, but also fearful of leaving the security of our current corner of the neighborhood and all the good we have here, fearful of something “better” coming on the market in the future, and fearful of the unknown ahead.
However. I am purposefully trying to step off the roller coaster of emotion and take up a new posture, embodied by one of my favorite mantras: make a decision, and then make it the right one. It is somewhat embarrassing to admit that I am having to gear myself up to feel anything but grateful for such a blessing, but here we are.
We close on the new home and list our current home in early October, so this month will be full of preparation. Here’s what else is ahead:
A view from our island!
On my calendar: — A Durham Bulls game! We try to go at least once a year and are all hoping this absolutely delectable weather we’ve been having holds until our game. — Camping with the Rays! Our annual camping trip is 12? 13? years strong at this point – something we look forward to every year. And now with 8 kids! — An anniversary weekend away. With thanks to my parents for staying with our kids, John and I are incredibly excited to have some time together in the mountains of NC to celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.
What I’m loving right now: — When my Blueland cleaning spray bit the bullet (again – their nozzles are notoriously finicky) I gave up and chose a random Method spray from the store. I’m in love. It smells a bit like the Thymes Frasier Fir candle, but not quite as Christmas-y? Wiping down the dinner table and chairs is one of my least favorite household tasks; leaving this scent in my wake makes it positively pleasant. — Another lucky grab from the store: Wild refillable deodorant. After my beloved Toms deodorant was discontinued, I mooched off of John’s Native deodorant for a bit, but it never worked well for me. The Wild Honey + Cactus scent, on the other hand, is a revelation – it works SO well. I think natural deodorant tends to be highly personal, so take this recommendation with a grain of salt – but it might be worth a try! I also love that it’s refillable and that the (cute) holder is metal. — In a bid to switch up my routine and sharpen my focus, I’ve been working from the library on my TCF mornings. I drive over in silence, drafting in my head, then post up in one of the armchairs by the window, scoot in the little laptop table, and happily tap away for a few hours. Bonus: it’s easy to scoop up any books we have on hold!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— These slim ice packs that fit perfectly in a lunch box and keep things cool until lunch time — John’s favorite work button-down shirts and beachy sweatshirt — The underbed boxes we use to store kid memorabilia and memories — John’s standing desk (it’s as attractive as one can be, but I’ll still be happy to have it out of our bedroom in the new house!)
What I read in August: — I Cheerfully Refuse | This was a read that lingered from July to August, so I’m back with my final review. And it is: eh. The dystopian future setting was more depressing than the hopeful I was promised on the book jacket, and that’s not really what I’m looking for right now. I did finish it, but wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. — The Self-Driven Child | I first read this in the weeks after Annie was born and loved it. I also noted at the time that it was a book I’d want to return to when my kids were a little older. Four years later, here I am! It holds up, and I gleaned even more wisdom and practical tips this time around – and I still consider it one of the most underrated parenting books out there. — Run | I almost didn’t review this one, but since it’s on my reading list I’ll go ahead. In short, I would say: not for me. Thrillers are not usually my genre, but add in a rage apocalypse and a good amount of gore and I was left wishing I hadn’t included it on my list. Yes, it kept my interest and yes, I was grateful for the plot resolution at the end, but I also closed the book thinking, I’m not really glad I read that, you know?
Revisiting my August goals: Clean out pantry Edit June in June (I hate that this got bumped again! I really try to have the last one edited before we start filming for the next one!) Make a watercolor painting en plein air while I’m in Maine Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print Finalize new chore charts for the new school year Schedule and enjoy back-to-school shopping dates with the two bigs Complete Shep’s baby book
It’s worth noting that my priorities shifted in early August, once we knew we would be buying and selling a house!
September goals: — Prepare our home to go on the market — Pack and transport everything we don’t want in our home for listing/showings — Book help and figure out details for the first few tasks we want done in the new home (painting, backsplash, light fixtures, etc.) — Edit June in June — Film Sheptember — Make apple cider scones for the first day of fall — Sort and tag for the consignment sale — Experiment with drafting Substack Notes for the week, each week, in advance
Friends, help! The last time we moved was 12 years ago, and it was from an apartment to a first home. We had no kids and far fewer belongings, plus we weren’t trying to sell a home at the same time! Please give me all your tips – anything you did (or wished you did!) that made buying, selling, or moving easier. I’m all ears – thank you in advance!
