The other day John and I were talking about what we’ll miss most, physically, about this home, our first home, and my answer was our front porch.
It’s unusually deep, perched well above street level and tucked behind a mature tree. Shady and private enough to work from on even the hottest summer days, it also played host to dinner parties, friend hangs, and tables set for Articles Club. On its sturdy boards we carved pumpkins, played in the sand box, read chapter books aloud, ate lunch, set up the chess board, spit cherry pits over the railing, waited on siblings to return from play dates and grandparents to arrive from the airport. The string lights were magic; the wreaths hanging on the gates each December, a source of deep personal satisfaction. And I can still feel exactly what it was like to sit cross-legged under the spinning fan, cooing at baby June as she learned to roll on a soft blanket. We’d head out there after work and daycare and just chat — for an hour, easy.
That porch was an aerie, a world unto itself in the most ordinary of places. While the glorious view below will not always be ours, the sweetness will be.
On my calendar: — Seeing The Sound of Music with June! After a few false starts for her “experiential” 2024 Christmas gift, this is where we landed. We are both so excited for a night at the theater together. — Our fall family mountain trip, this year to Boone. We’ve had more trips than usual to WNC in the last few months but you won’t catch me complaining. These mountain weekends are always some of the sweetest of the year for our family. — A weekend in New England! I’m flying to a dear friend’s baby shower and for the first time in a very, very long time (maybe since before having kids?), I will be traveling solo to Connecticut. I’ll be staying at my parents’ home but even they won’t be there, as they are traveling, too! Needless to say my brain is working overtime as to how I should enjoy this unique opportunity…
What I’m loving right now: — John and I recently finished the second (and, presumably) final season of Andor and loved it. You do not have to be a Star Wars fan to enjoy it, though it helps if you love a political thriller. The world-building (Chandrila!) is particularly incredible. — Freya India’s work always makes me want to highlight, forward, shout YES at my laptop in an empty room, and this recent piece is no exception. “Marketing your memories also desecrates them. You hand over your hope, your hurt, your life to be consumed, reducing it to reality TV. Your precious memories are my mindless entertainment. Your trauma becomes my background noise. Your life-shattering divorce my slop. Your children my characters; your pain my distraction; your feelings my filler episodes. I will swipe past your birth video when I get bored. I will downvote your divorce if it isn’t entertaining enough. Your life is what I clean my kitchen to, what I kill time with. And if you fail to entertain me, fine, I will scroll for another life to consume.” — I am not a particularly good auditory learner (raising my hand as a consummate note taker in college!). After searching for a sermon solution, I chose this ESV study Bible to bring to and from church. While it’s only the New Testament, I love having generous amounts of space to jot notes. (And the Lulie Wallace cover doesn’t hurt!)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My clean perfume. I generally only wear it for date night and other special events; spritzing it on is an anticipatory mood booster. (I gathered my other daily skincare and clean beauty faves recently!) — My clean deodorant! Bonus points for the prettiest metal holder. — The new eucalyptus + rosemary cleaning spray I’ve been using. Kind of reminiscent of the Thymes Fraser Fir candle but non-Christmas-y enough for year-round use. — The Eby Relief bra. I’m tickled so many of you are trying one of these! I hope you love them as much as I have! — The tiniest white noise machine – perfect for traveling.
What I read in September: — 14 Talks by Age 14 | I picked this one up on a whim after appreciating a quote from the author in an article. In each chapter, she discusses things to consider, conversation killers, and sample dialogues for topics like independence, changing friendships, fairness, criticism, hard work, money, and reputations. While I reject some of her assumptions about tweens/teens and family life, I do concede that she has more experience than me to draw on and found much of the book insightful and eye-opening. — The Day the World Came to Town | I purposefully timed my reading of this to coincide with the anniversary of 9/11. I did not anticipate it coinciding with a jarring new low in our country’s polarization and political violence. It was a tough backdrop to such a hopeful and guileless book, animated as it is by the common-sense kindness of an average town. I am glad I read it. I wish it felt more recognizable today. — Peace Like a River | Absolute perfection. The writing – there is hardly a throwaway sentence in the book. The characters – so real, so sympathetic, so finely-drawn. If you have not yet read this book, please do so immediately. Easily one of my top-five favorite novels of all time.
Revisiting my September goals: Prepare our home to go on the market Pack and transport everything we don’t want in our home for listing/showings Book help and figure out details for the first few tasks we want done in the new home (Some of them, yes!) Edit June in June (Not quite done but I did make progress! About halfway there!) Film Sheptember Make apple cider scones for the first day of fall Sort and tag for the consignment sale Experiment with drafting Substack Notes for the week, each week, in advance
October goals: — Gather our family Halloween costumes (2 / 5 so far) — Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print — Finish editing June in June — Edit Sheptember — Make Halloween ghosts with Shep (kind of like this!) — Make a plan for my solo weekend in New England — Choose a Christmas recital song and begin to practice — Send care packages to our college gals — Choose and order our Christmas cards (I want to get these off early because of the move!)
Friends, I would love to hear: If you had a solo weekend in one of your favorite and very familiar places, what would you do? Take yourself out to a meal? Go for a hike? Read a book? See a friend? Shop? (I hope to do all of the above, ha!) Let’s have some fun planning a dreamy solo getaway in the comments.
Big update over here, friends: we are under contract to buy a new house.
!!!
This came to pass in a quite unusual and stressful manner, because the house went on the market while we were in Maine. (Our realtor, to boot, was also on vacation.) We submitted our offer on Sunday night, learned there were multiple offers and submitted a new offer (and then another one) on Monday, and finally found out our offer was accepted on Monday night. We came home on Wednesday night and saw the house for the first time on Thursday night.
While we hadn’t stepped foot inside, we were familiar with the house – it is in our same neighborhood, right around the corner from one of Shep’s buddies, and is one we had had our eye on for over a year. It checks a lot of our boxes – cul-de-sac location, flat driveway, separate dining room, bigger backyard, space for an office, even the possibility of a mudroom – and we are super grateful.
That does not mean that the last few weeks have been without challenges. I wish I could say we’ve been uniformly blissful and brave, but alas I am a person who deeply dislikes change. In addition to staying on top of the piles of paperwork required to buy and sell a home – as well as fixing things up around our current home, coordinating completion of the rest of the punch list, streamlining our belongings and beginning to pack what remains – I’ve been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I am excited, of course, and grateful, but also fearful of leaving the security of our current corner of the neighborhood and all the good we have here, fearful of something “better” coming on the market in the future, and fearful of the unknown ahead.
However. I am purposefully trying to step off the roller coaster of emotion and take up a new posture, embodied by one of my favorite mantras: make a decision, and then make it the right one. It is somewhat embarrassing to admit that I am having to gear myself up to feel anything but grateful for such a blessing, but here we are.
We close on the new home and list our current home in early October, so this month will be full of preparation. Here’s what else is ahead:
A view from our island!
On my calendar: — A Durham Bulls game! We try to go at least once a year and are all hoping this absolutely delectable weather we’ve been having holds until our game. — Camping with the Rays! Our annual camping trip is 12? 13? years strong at this point – something we look forward to every year. And now with 8 kids! — An anniversary weekend away. With thanks to my parents for staying with our kids, John and I are incredibly excited to have some time together in the mountains of NC to celebrate our 13th wedding anniversary.
What I’m loving right now: — When my Blueland cleaning spray bit the bullet (again – their nozzles are notoriously finicky) I gave up and chose a random Method spray from the store. I’m in love. It smells a bit like the Thymes Frasier Fir candle, but not quite as Christmas-y? Wiping down the dinner table and chairs is one of my least favorite household tasks; leaving this scent in my wake makes it positively pleasant. — Another lucky grab from the store: Wild refillable deodorant. After my beloved Toms deodorant was discontinued, I mooched off of John’s Native deodorant for a bit, but it never worked well for me. The Wild Honey + Cactus scent, on the other hand, is a revelation – it works SO well. I think natural deodorant tends to be highly personal, so take this recommendation with a grain of salt – but it might be worth a try! I also love that it’s refillable and that the (cute) holder is metal. — In a bid to switch up my routine and sharpen my focus, I’ve been working from the library on my TCF mornings. I drive over in silence, drafting in my head, then post up in one of the armchairs by the window, scoot in the little laptop table, and happily tap away for a few hours. Bonus: it’s easy to scoop up any books we have on hold!
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— These slim ice packs that fit perfectly in a lunch box and keep things cool until lunch time — John’s favorite work button-down shirts and beachy sweatshirt — The underbed boxes we use to store kid memorabilia and memories — John’s standing desk (it’s as attractive as one can be, but I’ll still be happy to have it out of our bedroom in the new house!)
What I read in August: — I Cheerfully Refuse | This was a read that lingered from July to August, so I’m back with my final review. And it is: eh. The dystopian future setting was more depressing than the hopeful I was promised on the book jacket, and that’s not really what I’m looking for right now. I did finish it, but wouldn’t necessarily recommend it. — The Self-Driven Child | I first read this in the weeks after Annie was born and loved it. I also noted at the time that it was a book I’d want to return to when my kids were a little older. Four years later, here I am! It holds up, and I gleaned even more wisdom and practical tips this time around – and I still consider it one of the most underrated parenting books out there. — Run | I almost didn’t review this one, but since it’s on my reading list I’ll go ahead. In short, I would say: not for me. Thrillers are not usually my genre, but add in a rage apocalypse and a good amount of gore and I was left wishing I hadn’t included it on my list. Yes, it kept my interest and yes, I was grateful for the plot resolution at the end, but I also closed the book thinking, I’m not really glad I read that, you know?
Revisiting my August goals: Clean out pantry Edit June in June (I hate that this got bumped again! I really try to have the last one edited before we start filming for the next one!) Make a watercolor painting en plein air while I’m in Maine Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print Finalize new chore charts for the new school year Schedule and enjoy back-to-school shopping dates with the two bigs Complete Shep’s baby book
It’s worth noting that my priorities shifted in early August, once we knew we would be buying and selling a house!
September goals: — Prepare our home to go on the market — Pack and transport everything we don’t want in our home for listing/showings — Book help and figure out details for the first few tasks we want done in the new home (painting, backsplash, light fixtures, etc.) — Edit June in June — Film Sheptember — Make apple cider scones for the first day of fall — Sort and tag for the consignment sale — Experiment with drafting Substack Notes for the week, each week, in advance
Friends, help! The last time we moved was 12 years ago, and it was from an apartment to a first home. We had no kids and far fewer belongings, plus we weren’t trying to sell a home at the same time! Please give me all your tips – anything you did (or wished you did!) that made buying, selling, or moving easier. I’m all ears – thank you in advance!
June is home from camp, we have sunny + cool northern travels to look forward to, we’re still enjoying summer and yet have also eased into back-to-school prep — in short, I’m feeling good. I hope August finds you in a contented place, as well!
If you, too, are straddling seasons, I pulled up a few posts that might be of help for us both:
On my calendar: — Our annual trip to Maine! This year, we’re going further north to Acadia for part of the time and traveling with friends. I’m looking forward to experiencing something new on this very-familiar (and very-beloved) trip. — Shep and Annie’s joint birthday adventure. We’re once again taking the train ride to Greensboro’s children’s museum with a few friends and they are so excited. — The first day of school! Fourth and first grade for June and Shep and a new Montessori preschool for Annie.
What I’m loving right now: — Good news on the concealer front: since Counter no longer carries (at least for now) my beloved formulation, I ventured to Sephora to find a replacement. A kind gal led me to Kosa’s clean brightening concealer and I’ve been very happy with shade 2.3N. (I rounded up all my current clean beauty favorites here if you’re in the market! These are the products I use daily, except for the perfume which is for special occasions :)) — My dear friend Nancy’s podcast has been turned into an ice cream flavor! Triangle locals, I think her creation (that’s it up at the top) goes back into the vault now that July is over, but it’s always a good time to pay a visit to Two Roosters. — Tricia asked about my watercolor supplies on my last goals post and I’m happy to share! I bought this pad of watercolor paper postcards at a local art shop and it’s made it so easy to paint petite scenes (and then send them to loved ones!). This small paint set is portable and vibrant and this is the online class I took – I loved that it focused on landscapes and it was quite helpful for a beginner like me.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My first two items ever from Lululemon, this tennis skirt and this top in the color lavender frost. I literally wore this combo to all six swim meets this summer after convincing myself that no one else was thinking about my outfits as much as I was :) The mesh and volume of the skirt is really unique and fun, and the top is so lightweight – perfect for summer humidity. — These slim ice packs, perfect for packed lunches. Maybe you all have started your back-to-school shopping, too? — The underbed boxes we use to store our kids’ artwork and school memorabilia. More about that system here! — John’s favorite button-down shirt, so soft and resistant to wrinkles. He tries to wear exclusively this style to work (and they’re 50% off as of this writing!!).
What I read in July: — I Cheerfully Refuse | Reading was slower last month as I prioritized my morning walks – and thus an earlier bedtime. Sadly, I can’t say yet whether I recommend the one book I’m working through. I want to love it – I adorethe other book I’ve read by this author – but so far I’m finding the dystopian future setting more depressing than the hopeful I was promised on the book jacket. I’m about halfway through and still trying to decide if I’m going to DNF and just re-read Peace Like a River. I’ll report back in September :)
Revisiting my July goals: Visit a Maine gallery and buy an original piece of artwork Tweak the TCF course outline (No progress whatsoever.) Review the TCF course outline with John (And thus no progress whatsoever.) Clean out pantry Complete June’s baby book Plan Annie + Shep’s joint birthday excursion Prep for and enjoy our Maine/Acadia trip Edit June in June
August goals: — Clean out pantry — Edit June in June — Make a watercolor painting en plein air while I’m in Maine — Help my Dad get his Storyworth off to print — Finalize new chore charts for the new school year — Schedule and enjoy back-to-school shopping dates with the two bigs — June’s, paired with afternoon tea as we’ve done for the last few years and Shep’s, with breakfast at IHOP (his request!) — Complete Shep’s baby book
To close out, I’m in the market for a new pair of sneakers and would love your recommendations! I’d like something fairly neutral (I think?) that I can wear with dresses and for walking around cities — something low-profile and comfy. Any favorites to pass along? Feel free to comment with anything else on your mind, too :)
We’re halfway through the year, which means it’s time for a goal update! I’m grateful for a chance to look up, celebrate what’s gone well, and reset for the second half of the year. You may recall that I had a larger-than-usual slate of goals for 2025, so let’s dig in — and I’ll try to keep it brief!
Big Goals
Goal No. 1: Achieve a VO2 max of at least 38
Progress I’ve made: After discovering that my V02 max was “below-average” thanks to my Apple Watch late last year, I set out to run once a week in the hopes of improving it. I did so for about two months, then started to suffer from knee pain. I resolved to strengthen the muscles around my knees to better support my running, so stopped running (and basically all cardio, oops) and focused on increasing strength training instead.
After my bloodwork wakeup call at the end of June (see below!), my new goal is to strength train three times a week (often with the Peloton Strength app) and walk briskly every morning for 30-40 minutes. The chance to catch up on my favorite podcasts has been more than enough to get me out of bed and I haven’t missed a day yet. My current V02 max is 30.6, up just a bit from 29.9 at the beginning of this year (though it now qualifies as “above average”!).
The next six months: Keep rolling with my morning walks and three-days-a-week strength training.
Goal No. 2: Plan and enjoy our 20th high school reunion
Progress I’ve made: We celebrated our reunion weekend at the end of June and it was everything I could have hoped for and more. I’d relive it a thousand times over if I could.
The next six months: I have reflections in the works for both Em for Marvelous — a rundown of the logistics and special details — and The Connected Family — some reflections on friendship before social media. For me, an experience like this isn’t complete until I’ve had a chance to capture it in words.
Goal No. 3: Refresh our master bathroom
Progress I’ve made: Thanks to a few conversations with an interior designer friend, we pulled inspiration, decided on a new layout, and started to select some finishes. We also interviewed and got estimates from three contractors — only to choose one and learn that they’re pausing all bathroom projects until they can hire a new trim carpenter. Argh!
The next six months: I’m hopeful our contractor will be back on track soon and we’ll be able to complete this project before the end of the year. While they’re in the house working on the bathroom, we also asked them to build a cased opening with built-in bookcases in our main room, to add a bit of separation between our dining and family room areas. Very excited about that, too!
Goal No. 4: Launch the TCF audio course
Progress I’ve made: Almost none, and honestly, it’s hard not to feel pretty pathetic at this point. I did make a decision about shifting the focus a bit, and that feels good, but it’s been hard to find time to work on it.
The next six months: As much as I’d love to make a big push now, summer — with the kids home from school and frequent travel — is not the time. I think my next mini milestone will be to have the revised outline ready to review with John before our anniversary trip in September.
Goal No. 5: Celebrate “The Year of Dating”
Progress I’ve made: This is a vague goal, and so it’s hard to track progress — but I do feel there’s been some. I’m thinking of some hard-but-fruitful conversations we had earlier this year, especially.
The next six months: An important task in the back half of this year is to secure a new regular babysitter. Our beloved babysitter as well as our back-up babysitter are both off to college next month, and though I know it’s not the last time we’ll see them, we do need someone to help out on an ongoing basis. I have my eye on a new gal — she lives in our neighborhood — so I feel hopeful it will work out, but I need to close the deal :)
Small Goals
Goal No. 1: Complete June and Shep’s baby books
June’s is complete! Feeling confident I can wrap up Shep’s before the end of the summer, too.
Goal No. 2: Transition Annie’s room to a big-kid room
Annie is out of her crib and happily ensconced in her gigantic queen bed. We’ve also replaced her dresser, swapped out the lamps, cleaned out the closet, and arranged her belongings in a way that’s helpful for her but neat-enough to accommodate occasional guests. The piece de resistance was hanging her new name banner from my friend Alli — one of her fourth birthday gifts! — on her door.
Goal No. 3: Host a potluck party
A date is on the books for September!
Goal No. 4: Visit a PCP and complete bloodwork
Done! After throwing up my hands in frustration over my own pickiness at choosing a doctor, I finally called a newly-opened practice five minutes from our house and made an appointment for the following day. I got lucky, because my doctor (actually a PA) was lovely and seemed sympathetic to my functional medicine/Peter Attia-flavored preferences.
While booking the appointment ended up being easier than I anticipated, the results themselves turned out to be a bit harder. Most of my levels were fine, but two were slightly elevated. I’m working on a few dietary and workout changes (see V02, above!), and we’ll recheck in six months. While some of the data was surprising and upsetting, I’m ultimately glad to have it.
Goal No. 5: Buy an original piece of art
Our visit to Maine is coming up later this month. I’m excited to pop into a few galleries and see what I can find!
Habits
Habit No. 1: Practice the piano regularly
I have certainly fallen short of my original goal of 20 minutes four times a week, but I have practiced much more than in any year past — so I’m considering that a success. I average playing one to two times a week right now. Something fun: several people in our church community group are working on musical goals this year, and we’ve decided that we’re going to have a mini recital at group in December! Yes, these are adults, ha.
Habit No. 2: Keep a scripture memory ring on the table
Most of my memorization energy has gone to the Gettysburg Address in the last few months, but I did create a memory ring out of index cards and added the scripture we’ve already memorized as a family to it. Psalm 100 is on deck after I’m done with Lincoln’s speech.
Habit No. 3: Clean out my phone screenshots day by day
The plan here: each day of the year, I’d sort through and take action on just that day’s screenshots from every year before. For example, on January 1, I might view and take action on screenshots for January 1 of 2020, 2021, and 2024. It has continued to be a productive delight; it feels so satisfying to put every recipe, playlist, book recommendation, and inspiration image where it can be put to good use.
Habit No. 4: Reflect the heart of the Father for the fatherless
My original intention was to support our friends and neighbors as they opened their home to a foster child, but since they don’t have a placement yet, I’ve shifted my energy to supporting needs through Care Portal. Care Portal connects families with specific needs with folks who can help, facilitated by agencies or ministries on one end and churches on the other. I try to fill at least one need a month, and so far we’ve provided things like bedding, roller skates, diapers, and kids’ clothing (either bought new or donated from our own gently-used stockpile).
Habit No. 5: Read the Bible daily
Though I originally planned to rest from a chronological plan this year, I never got into a topical study… so somewhat impulsively started the Bible Recap again on July 1! I listen to the scripture and commentary on my morning walk, and sometimes when I get ready for bed, too. I will almost certainly not finish by the end of the year but that’s just fine!
Tech Goals
I shared six tech-related goals on The Connected Family at the beginning of the year. I covered two of them in the habits section above, and here are the others:
Tech Goal No. 1: Better understand our school-issued Chrome book
Thanks to a generous reader and friend, I am making progress on this! I have a request out to her to collaborate with me on a resource on this topic for TCF and have my fingers crossed she’ll agree.
Tech Goal No. 2: Encourage June to bike to a friend’s home
Hasn’t happened yet but we’ve talked about it a bunch and I have hope it will happen before the end of the summer.
Tech Goal No. 3: Work toward a district-wide bell-to-bell school phone ban
I sadly can’t say we have achieved a district-wide bell-to-bell school phone ban yet, though our county did tighten their rules a bit — and will be forced to tighten them a bit more with new legislation that passed at the state level in June! (YAY!) It’s satisfying to feel I did what I could to support both, including appearing on my local news station in support of tighter policies (!!), emailing board members and governor’s working group members to advocate for more responsible policies, and encouraging my friends to take action, as well.
Tech Goal No. 4: Achieve active Wait Until 8th pledges in both our children’s grades
We have achieved one for Shep’s grade (YAY!) but not yet for June’s grade. I plan to raise awareness at the beginning of the new school year once again in the hopes of rallying more parents.
Thank you, as always, for listening, friends! It is a joy to share my goals here with you, and a joy to hear what you’re working on, as well. I’d love to check in on your progress in the comments, if you’d like to share! xo
