Thank you so very much for the birthday wishes, friends! I had a delightful day with myself, and then a delightful weekend with the ones I love :) There was a walk through my favorite historic neighborhood, an IGA 9-layer cake, some in-person shopping at a new-to-me consignment boutique (see below!), a Duke game in Cameron (!!), and a Father of the Bride family movie night.
I finished the weekend feeling grateful and happy, and that was welcome, because it hasn’t been the easiest start to the year. We have experienced three significant ruptures in three organizations that are important to our family, and that has led to heartache, frustration, time occupied in ways I wish it didn’t have to be, and much soul-searching about what’s next. I know that’s a bit vague, but these rents have colored our year and it seems right to note them. Sending you love if you’ve had a hard start to the year, too. xo
On my calendar: — Easter basket shopping with all three kids. I’ll go on individual mini shopping trips to Target with each to choose items for baskets we donate through a local program. One of my favorite family traditions! — Spring break. We are headed to Hilton Head – our first time! — A zoo visit with my sister! It’s the best halfway meet-up point between our two towns.
What I’m loving right now: — Back to that consignment boutique I mentioned above – it was amazing. I joked to John that it felt like the grown-up version of my favorite kids’ consignment sale – a curated selection of clothing from stylish people that I get to buy for far less than they did :) I brought so many things into the fitting room and came home with a handful of new-to-me favorites, including a Mille dress. I think I will never buy anything new from another store again?! Local friends, it is seriously so good! — We’ve used Blueland hand soap and cleaning products for many years. After successfully switching to their dishwasher detergent last year, we made the switch to their laundry detergent last month. I’m happy with it all and thrilled to reduce the amount of plastic we consume. — Speaking of consuming less plastic: I’ve also been on a mission to replace our plastic cutting boards, and started with this one. It took a beat for me to get used to cutting on the surface, but I do plan to buy an additional size.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
What I read in February: — Pillars of the Earth | Continuing with my Kingsbridge series re-read! I’ve traditionally said this, the original volume, is my favorite of the bunch, but I actually found myself hurrying through the first part this time around. Still very enjoyable, though! — Gilead | I loved this book. It’s a Pulitzer Prize winner with only thin veins of a plot (just enough to keep you turning pages!). Instead, it’s a portrait, shot through with observations that ring true and humble, dazzling lines. (I dog-eared several lines to tuck away in my commonplace file – quite rare for a fiction book.) Reading it in middle age, with young children and aging parents, was a tender experience.
Revisiting my February goals: Finalize the itinerary for our reunion and run it by a friend to get feedback Write June’s birthday update Choose a PCP and call about making an appointment (No…….) Sit down with John and spend 1-2 hours going over what I have so far for the TCF audio course and getting his feedback (This did not happen and I’m sad about it! It’s hard to find a big block of time when we’re both able to focus on something challenging AND the kids are occupied.) Choose and begin a new Bible reading plan (Have just continued with the Psalms.) Make classroom valentines with the kids Put our scripture ring into action at the table Prep to speak at a school on behalf of TCF – my first time! (So thankful for this! It went really well!) Send that phone ban friend email (Done! Grateful for this, too.)
I also planned to run every weekend (went off the rails after some knee twinges and pushing myself to experiment with pacing), practice the piano several times a week (I averaged once per week), and clean out my phone screenshots daily (check!).
March goals: — Complete Easter basket shopping with the kids — Organize Annie’s closet — Track down final RSVPs and contact information for the reunion and confirm locations — Finish planning and enjoy HHI trip — Strength train 2x/week — Practice piano 2x/week — Figure out a designer for bathroom — Disassemble Annie’s crib and rearrange her room a bit — Choose a PCP and call about making an appointment — Complete two more watercolor postcards (I’ve committed to contributing 10-12 postcards of scenes from around our Maine island for a community auction happening there this summer. My watercolor talents are minimal but I’m hoping the familiar scenes will make the finished product more dear than it really is, ha! My first three tries above :))
Alright, plenty to discuss here! Does anyone have an online watercolor class to recommend? Hilton Head Island must-dos? Has it been far too long since you’ve been to a PCP, too? Feel free to discuss anything I’ve mentioned below!
Two monthly goals posts in a row – not usually what you can expect around here! Between all the beginning-of-year EFM fun and a post I meant to share last week in honor of our twentieth (!!) dativersary that ended up needing a bit more polish, here we are. (You’ll get the relationship post next week.) Until then, here is what’s on tap for the tiny-but-mighty month of February.
On my calendar: — The third annual Articles Club weekend away, a.k.a. Camp Clurb! I missed last year’s trip unexpectedly to be at my grandmother’s memorial service and so am especially happy to get to hang with the best gals around at the end of the month. — Another book swap! Could there be a more perfect bright spot in the doldrums of winter? I’m hosting with a dear friend again and we’ve chosen a “book lovers” theme due to our proximity to Valentine’s Day (with teatime food since we’re partying in the afternoon). — My birthday! It’s on a Friday this year, one of my days off each week. Last year it also fell on a day off, and I think I’m now spoiled forever: it was a true delight to spend the hours the kids were at school in a way that was simple, but designed to be uniquely pleasing to me. Promising myself I’ll make an equally good plan this year.
What I’m loving right now: — Y’all know I’m on a Defined Dish kick. Her chicken piccata meatballs are my newest favorite – so good! I usually serve them with fettucine and sautéed green beans. — We just bought Annie one of these okay-to-wake clocks in prep for moving her from her crib to her bed. It’s the third one in our family — the older two are quite fond of theirs. — Speaking of Annie, this is her absolute favorite picture book right now. (It’s been a favorite of all of our kids at one time or another.) We’ve read it nightly for the past few weeks, picking out one kid to follow each time. Her favorites are the girls from India and Japan :)
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— My Christmas card photo album. I actually just ordered a few more and am going to add a set of cards to one for each of my children! — The manners flip book we often use to supplement Team Thomas Tuesdays. — Our foyer shoe cabinet! It really is the prettiest shade of green. — My favorite simple v-neck white tee (closely tied with my beloved summer linen shift dress from the same brand) — This medium hair clip I slipped into my own stocking :) I like the look, but am still figuring out the best way to get all my hair caught up.
What I read in January: — Best Family Ever | This is a middle grade book June pressed into my hand after finishing it herself. I’m delighted she loved it and appreciated the the closet-knit family at the center. As an adult I found it a bit too saccharine :) — The Evening and the Morning | In addition to my official personal book club picks, I also committed to re-reading a portion of the Kingsbridge series this year, starting with this one (the prequel), which I last read in 2022. It held up – I may even have enjoyed it more this time around. — Well Lived| This is Sally Clarkson’s newest book. While I enjoyed it, it is quite different from my favorite of her books, The Lifegiving Home. With full-color pictures, pull quotes, and scripture on most pages, it reads more like a devotional than a how-to book. Still, I finished it feeling very endeared to her.
Revisiting my January goals: Inquire with a designer friend for our bathroom project (Inquired and she is not available to help. I’ve emailed a second gal and am waiting to hear back!) Print 2024 Instagram photos Set up our 2025 budget Make a loose plan for this year’s read alouds (V. v. excited for all of them) Confirm a reunion date (Also v. excited for this.) Make a scripture ring for our table with the verses we’ve memorized so far (Bought this one and am now writing out the verses we’ve memorized so far.) Prep for the book swap (Door hangers are in my possession!) Print photos for our Christmas album Send an email to friends in my county encouraging them to email their school board reps about the potential phone ban (Did not get to this – moving to February!)
I also planned to run every weekend (check!!), practice the piano several times a week (I averaged twice a week), clean out my phone screenshots daily (check!), and keep up with our Hebrews reading plan (off the rails).
February goals: — Finalize the itinerary for our reunion and run it by a friend to get feedback — Record June’s birthday interview — Choose a PCP and call about making an appointment — Sit down with John and spend 1-2 hours going over what I have so far for the TCF audio course and getting his feedback — Choose and begin a new Bible reading plan — Make classroom valentines with the kids — Put our scripture ring into action at the table — Prep to speak at a school on behalf of TCF – my first time! — Send that phone ban friend email (If any of you are also in Wake County and want in on it, just raise your hand in the comments! I can nab your email from the backend, you don’t have to post it publicly :))
Let’s talk birthdays! I’d love to hear: if you had about six hours during the day on a weekday and you had no work or childcare responsibilities, how would you spend it? What would you do? Would friends be invited along? I can’t wait to hear!
We may be nearing the end of the month, and I may have been tapping away at these goals for a few weeks now, but I still wanted to share! With no preamble whatsoever, here’s how I’m breaking down my 2025 goals this month – and a little bit about what else we have going on around these parts…
On my calendar: — Being the mystery reader in Shep’s class! I’m bringing this family favorite as well as this one by my brother-in-law. — June’s 9th birthday. She is my best little friend. — Our 20th dativersary, my oh my. Planning a celebratory dinner at Brodeto.
What I’m loving right now: — We saw The Best Christmas Pageant Ever in theatres and absolutely loved it! I’ve never read the book and so didn’t come in with any preconceived notions. I did cry at the end :) Add it to your movie-watching list for next December! — John turned on this Christmas lounge playlist our first night in Blowing Rock (he said he was going for “classy Christmas hotel lobby vibes”) and we never turned it off the rest of the trip. It was the perfect festive background music for games and meals and puzzling! — Turns out roller blades just might be the hit gift of Christmas 2024. After just a few wobbly steps June was off like a rocket on hers and hasn’t slowed down since. Shep (6) was a little slower burn, but a few weeks in he’s equally as gung-ho. June has this pair and these pads and Shep has this pair and these pads. The blades light up, which is actually quite handy in these winter days when they’re often out cruising around after dark.
As a reminder, you can find allll the things I’ve loved over the last few years neatly organized right here!
What you’re loving right now:
This is where I highlight a few items here that have been popular in the last month with fellow readers, based on my analytics. Here’s hoping this will help you find something you’ll love!
— This medium hair clip I slipped into my own stocking :) I like the look, but am still figuring out the best way to get all my hair caught up. — This $5 scalloped ceramic spoon rest, another favorite stocking surcee! — Our foyer shoe cabinet, a new addition to our home I really love. Don’t be fooled by the description – it’s the most beautiful aloe green! — These magic puffy pens June found in her stocking — Shep’s beloved light-up soccer ball, the star of many street-style games in our neighborhood
What I read in December: — The Opt-Out Family | I did far less reading-for-pleasure than usual in December as I hustled to finish my Bible reading plan. I did, however, make it through Erin Loechner’s new book. Erin can be a polarizing figure – personally, I agree strongly with so much of what she says but sometimes cringe at the way she says it – but I enjoyed her book. She’s a natural teacher and her schtick for creating engaging real-world experiences for the people we love is clever. Very in line with everything we talk about at The Connected Family!
Revisiting my December goals: Frame a few pieces of kid art via Framebridge (Rerouted and framed this embroidered banner for the loft/playroom instead.) Find a dresser for Annie’s room (Done! Local friends, I found it at The Perfect Piece, which I had never been inside before the day I bought this dresser!) Edit Sheptember, Volume 6 (Finally!!! What a relief!) Finish the kids’ book ornaments (Done! They turned out so well and I’m thrilled. The kids liked them, too :)) Submit the paperwork for my own passport renewal (Done! Now we just need somewhere to go, ha.) Stuff, stamp, and address our Christmas cards Execute our end-of-year generosity plans Savor the Christmas season
January goals: — Inquire with a designer friend for our bathroom project — Print 2024 Instagram photos — Set up our 2025 budget — Make a loose plan for this year’s read alouds — Confirm a reunion date — Make a scripture ring for our table with the verses we’ve memorized so far — Prep for the book swap (most importantly, design and print door hangers) — Print photos for our Christmas album — Send an email to friends in my county encouraging them to email their school board reps about the potential phone ban
I also plan to run every weekend, practice the piano several times a week, clean out my phone screenshots daily, and keep up with our Hebrews reading plan.
Hello, friends! Happy 2025! Having released the need to have my goals ready to roll on January 1 a few years ago – but fully retained my delight in sharing them with you here – I’m so happy to chat all things goals today. This is a process I find deep joy in. I know it’s not the case for everyone, but the idea of goals being stressful or guilt-ridden is alien to me. I say that not as some sort of strange brag, but just as an acknowledgment that I have been doing this a long time, and that the Cultivate Way is so deeply ingrained in me it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other begins. To me, the goal-setting process is almost all upside: it’s a chance to clarify what matters in the big picture, make decisions based on what I uncover that focus my time and attention right now, and experience joy and satisfaction as I take small steps forward.
Goal setting, for me, also brings joy because it’s about connecting with others. Chatting with you all here, and with friends offline, has always been one of the best parts of goal setting! I’m grateful for our conversations and for your encouragement along the way.
Enough intro – onto the goals!
This year, I’ve organized my pursuits into buckets, loosely titled big goals, small goals, and habits – five of each. I’m also sharing my tech-related goals, though pointing you to The Connected Family for more detail on those. Buckle up, because we’ve got a lot to cover this year – more than usual! I’ve tried to describe each goal in brief below, but rest assured we will be chatting about many of these in more detail as the year goes on.
It also must be said: though I am biased, working on a spread of goals this wide without a system to corral them would be a recipe for overwhelm — but truly, when I have a place to capture ideas and next steps and a formula for pacing myself over the year, even an ambitious slate becomes simple to manage. For me, that system is the PowerSheets goal planner. I wouldn’t want to do a year without mine. We have just one cover left of our 2025 planners, so hurry over and get yours if that sounds good to you!
Without further ado…
Big goals
I’m calling these “big goals” because they will require planning and effort over many months.So original :)
1. Achieve a VO2 max of at least 38. I have a complicated relationship with my Apple watch. One unequivocal positive: discovering that it considered my V02 max (or “cardio fitness,” as Apple calls it) below-average. This was insulting enough to me that I’ve decided to do something about it. V02 is one of the best predictors of longevity, and I want to be around to enjoy this beautiful life as long as possible (and capable of enjoying it to the full).
My initial plan of action is to run once a week, and since I got a head start on this in late December I already have three outings under my belt. I would NOT consider myself a runner and haven’t run in years, but am so far finding it surprisingly enjoyable. My current V02 max is 29.9 (don’t laugh!).
2. Plan and enjoy our 20th high school reunion. John and I are celebrating a big milestone this year, and while it doesn’t appear our class as a whole is planning anything to mark the occasion, we have a dear group of ten high school friends spread around the country and are taking matters into our own hands :) As of this week we’ve confirmed a date – we’ll be gathering in Connecticut in June! – and I am so excited to start planning our itinerary.
3. Refresh our master bathroom. This is a big project, and while I have some hesitations about launching into it while still actively searching for a new home (though in an extremely picky way, ha), I am excited. Our kitchen refresh is only two years old, and while I’d be sad to walk away from it, I already feel like I’ve gotten so much enjoyment out of it. Even if we only get to enjoy 1-2 years in this refreshed space, I imagine we’d feel the same.
4. Launch the TCF audio course. A continuation of last year’s big goal, with not a ton of progress to show for it 🙃 Still to do: finish writing the course, record it, edit it, set up a sales platform, and launch it.
5. Celebrate “The Year of Dating.” Along with our 20th high school reunion, 2025 marks 20 years of relationship with John. Since I hope to have AT LEAST 60 years together, that means we are perhaps at the 1/3 mark, and I love the idea of digging in and putting our best foot forward as we move into our next 20 years of loving each other well. I don’t know exactly what this goal will look like yet – so far, to me, it does not necessarily mean more dates, but more reaching back to the mindset of dating (so far as this is possible in a midlife relationship with three children!).
Small Goals
These goals are, uh, smaller in scope and effort :) Most can be accomplished in a single month, or represent a one-time action or decision.
1. Complete June and Shep’s baby books. Our kids’ baby books span ages 0-5, so June and Shep have now officially outlived their books’ age ranges. Though they are mostly empty, I have all of the notes and data I need to fill them out, so this task simply involves transferring it into the books and printing out photos to include. It will feel great to have these squared away and I could do it in two afternoons if I just put it on the calendar.
2. Transition Annie’s room to a big-kid room. Annie is still in her crib (youngest child…), but her days in it are numbered. As she graduates from the crib, I want to thoughtfully balance making her space work for her as she grows and also retain its usefulness as a guest room. I’m considering adding a wall of built-in bookshelves as part of this process… we shall see!
3. Host a potluck party. I already have plans in the works to host another book swap party (and I can’t wait!), but long-time readers may remember that I’ve also had a wild hair to host a potluck party since 2020 (!). This is the year, perhaps in September.
4. Visit a PCP and complete bloodwork. It has been… many years… since I’ve visited a PCP. (Blame the cover of frequent visits to an OB in the last decade of pregnancy and birth!) This is a no-brainer and something I simply have to take action to get scheduled. (But it’s been on my radar since Annie was born and I haven’t taken action, so it’s going on the goals list this year!)
5. Buy an original piece of art. I wandered into a little art gallery in Boothbay Harbor while we were in Maine last year, and it was a revelation: there were so many pieces I loved, many already framed, at such reasonable prices! So much of the art I see online from the “trendy online artists” feels pricy to me, but I love the idea of adding a few small paintings connected to meaningful places in pockets around our home. One of my most prized possessions is a 5×7 painting of a Maine scene I inherited from my grandmother. More of that!
Habits
New things I want to do regularly!
1. Practice the piano regularly. In the interest of balancing my own creation vs. consumption scale, I’d like to continue practicing piano a few days each week. As we’ve listened to June play and helped her with pieces here and there, John and I have both rediscovered a love of the keys. This is not surprising: after laboring over screens and work-for-pay during the day, the analog act of creating beauty from nothing but our hearts and minds is potent to these two grown-ups! I’m aiming for 20 minutes four times a week, just like my daughter.
2. Keep a scripture memory ring on the table. Our family memorized several pieces of scripture last year (including Psalm 23!). I love storing up the Bible’s wisdom and encouragement in my heart, and the kids seemed to enjoy it, too. To make it easy to continue, I think we’ll choose a selection each month or so and keep them on a ring of index cards that lives on the kitchen table. Not only will it be simple to pick up a card and read from it in the process of memorizing, but having all the verses close at hand will help us retain them over time, too.
That was in 2020, and while the back-up system is still in place (praise), I have not kept up with organizing my photos in the years since, nor with clearing off my phone.
For this habit, I’m focusing on just the screenshots. I know there are gems in there — recipes, playlists, book recommendations! — and I’d like to move them somewhere they’ll be useful to me. So, each day of the year, I’ll sort through and take action on just that day’s screenshots from every year that has some. For example, on January 1, I might view and take action on screenshots from January 1 of 2020, 2021, and 2024. Just a few days in, it’s already been a productive delight.
4. Reflect the heart of the Father for the fatherless. Sounds grand, will likely be somewhat straightforward in execution. We have friends and neighbors who recently moved a few towns over, into a larger home, so that they have the space to foster. Caring for the widow and orphan is something that is clearly so important to Jesus, and I want to honor that. For the duration of their placements, I’ve promised my friend I’ll bring a meal and a box of diapers (if needed!) to her door once a month.
5. Read the Bible daily. John and I completed The Bible Recap’s chronological plan last year and I really loved it. In fact, I might be a bit in withdrawal :) On the other side, I am so grateful that I not only have a deeper knowledge of scripture and a wider understanding of its metanarrative, but I truly do have a greater hunger for God’s Word and an eagerness to learn more.
We’re resting from a chronological plan this year and plan to dive deeper into books of the Bible. (We’re a week into this plan but it’s not quite what we thought it would be, so may pivot!)
Tech Goals
Last week, I shared six tech-related goals on The Connected Family. I covered two of them in the habits section above, and here are the others:
Thank you, friends. Sharing my goals here, year after year and month after month, is quite possibly the most potent factor in any progress I’ve made, so thank you, as always, for being kind, listening ears! :)
On that note, I’ll be back with my January goals post and my 2025 book list over the next few weeks. Please feel free to join in on anything I’ve written here, or let me know if there’s one of my goals that you’d love to hear more about as the year goes on! OR, tell me what YOU have planned for 2025! Have you set goals yet? I’d love to cheer you on.
P.S. It feels too fresh to make an official goal, but the kids got some watercolor supplies for Christmas and I’ve been having so much fun experimenting with them! We’ll see how it goes, but I may add a mini goal to watercolor the postcards I send to June while she’s at camp this year :)
